Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2005 18:39:50 EST
From: Madasonaysha@aol.com
Subject: "Around My Way" chapter 13

Disclaimer: You already should know what they are if your on chapter 13  LOL
******************************************************************************

Comments, Questions or words of Criticism, that is, of the  construstive sort
LOL! Go to

_Madasonaysha@aol.com_ (mailto:Madasonaysha@aol.com)  or
_Madisonaysha@yahoo.com_ (mailto:Madisonaysha@yahoo.com)

******************************************************************************

AUTHORS NOTE: Hello you wonderful people!  I just want to thank you  all for
your wonderful support with all my stories, it means a lot.  Here  is where I
recommend some really great stories that I love and hope you will  too.

"Angst" by Jo Jo (the most awesomest guy around : )....and the Oscars  go
to........

"Nothing Worth Having Is Ever Easy" by the incredibly talented Delerium
Engimias (he has a yahoo group that you should join to read his other stories,
including a vampire tale.....gotta love that! You can find the link at his
story, which was updated a week ago.

 "Perry and Jesse" by Underthehoodster, not only is his story one of  the
BEST currently on Nifty, but he's the nicest man so don't be afraid to  send him
heaps and heaps of praise at his live journal.

"Tutoring Jerry" by Desert Mac is another one of my personal favorites and
if you are one, of the like five people left who have not yet read it LOL, then
 go do that soon!

"War" by Jeff Wilson is another one that I am enjoying.  It  starts off when
they are kinda young, but its a story....a REALLY  REALLY good one!

"Oakbridge High" by Dre is also a very good story and hey, he's my  official
little brother so you have to love it!

"The Log Way" by Dom Luka is.....just one of the....greatest. He has a  yahoo
group too that you should join.

"What's Happening to me" by Zuri another good one that you should all check
out.

"Kayden" by Ryan Keith... I know you probably hate me right now for saying
"also" again,but also this is a very good story : )

"Flames To Ice" by Mori Jane. It's in its early stages, but its shaping up
to what I know will be a very entertaining story.   -----And that  concludes my
list of current must reads!


**OH YEAH, ALL OF THESE STORIES ARE IN THE HIGH SCHOOL SECTION AND HAVE  BEEN
UPDATED STARTING WITH MID DECEMBER
******************************************************************************

			     "AROUND  MY WAY"

			    BY  MADDY A. DANTE

		   CHAPTER THIRTEEN : FINALLY, GET READY

What the hell was I doing? I was willingly walking towards danger.   What the
fuck was wrong with me!? I knew I shouldn't`t , but it was like I was
compelled to follow Nate.  There was this unseen force that ushered me  forward.
Nate had his arm around my shoulders, guiding me into the  darkened depths of
woods.  As if a switch had been flipped, I snapped out  of my reverie; in that
brief moment my instincts kicked in.  I realized  just what was happening and I
wasn't going to allow it.  I was sick of  being scared and sick of being a
target and that night I wasn't going to be  either.  I was as much as a man as
he was and he was going to realize  that.  Just as the heading of the woods
were approaching I shuck his arms  off of me and took off, whipping past the
leaves of the bushes.  They hit  my face as if they wanted me to turn around and
stop, but nothing could stop  me.  Nate made an attempt to come after me, but
I was back into the  safe arms of the street lights and around the comfort of
strangers so he  retreated.

As I ran, People were looking at me like I was crazy.  I heard a few  people
making jokes, calling me Carl Lewis, but that only made me pump my feet
harder.  I ran and ran until I couldn't run anymore.  I was the  furthest thing
from an athlete, but I was amazed with how far I ran in such a  short amount of
time. Past the crack heads and the other undesirables, I just  ran.  Down the
dank blocks and past all the dilapidated housings, past the  liquor stores and
Chinese food restaurants,I ran, I just ran.   I  would not let him make a
victim out of me.  Not that night and not ever if  I could help it.  I had a
strength inside of me that night that I had never  known was there.

That night I slept peacefully.  A first since the death of my parents  Dan
and Jamie. No bad dreams or feelings of unease.  Nate could only hurt  me if I
let him.  There was nothing special about him.  He was just a  regular person
like anyone else. Yeah, he had this uncanny ability to produce  fear in me,
that was still true. But, I wasn't the same frightened five year old  with the
tears on his face.  No, I was the sixteen year old soon to be man  who could
hold his head up high.  Some time during the night I had an  epiphany.  I was in
control of the things that went on in my life and no  body else.  It's funny,
Nate was the one who helped me realize that.   The one person who I hated and
feared the most was the one person responsible  for my liberation.  In a
sense, I was still a little afraid of him.   He had been scaring the shit out of me
for months  and that kind of fear  just doesn't disappear over night, but I
wasn't AS scared of him and that's what  mattered.   Would I ever risk the
chance on being alone with him some  where?  HELL NO! But, I wouldn't panic if I
was.  His hold over me was  broken and it felt good to know that.  It was
about time that I started  getting some control on things.  First, it was with
Nate.  Now it was  Joey's turn.  I know he wanted me, that was obvious.  He was
just  scared of what he was feeling.  So was I, but I wouldn't let that stop
me.  He wasn't going to run away from something that we both wanted.   We would
be together if it killed me.

I walked into art class that morning with two agendas.  One, talk to  Joey
and two, make plans to hang out with him later that day.  I took my  seat across
from him and he didn't even acknowledge my presense. He was still  unsure of
himself around me and I am not going to lie, it felt good knowing that  I
could bring that reaction out of someone.

"Hey Joey."  I said to him.  He looked up and our eyes met  briefly before
he looked back down at the table.

"What's up son."  He responed unenthusiastically.  He was trying  to keep
the conversation short, but I wasn't going to let him.

" I thought we could work on the sketch today.  My Aunt has to work  late...
AGAIN and you can come over so we don't have to bother your family."   He
looked at me skeptically.

"Why today?"

"What do you mean, `why today?'  Why NOT today.  You scared to  come over?"
 I was praying that my  reverse psychology would  work.  Judging from the way
his fingers nervously tapped on the art table I  thought that maybe it was.

"Scared for what? Yeah, we can work on it today, but come to my  house.  I don
't want to be caught around your way when it's dark. Dem  Westie cats be
coming out full force and I don't feel like dealing wit ass dat  bullshit today."

"Okay your house it is.  After school?"

"How about five." He said.

"Why so late?" I asked.  He looked up and met my eyes briefly, but  then his
eyes went right back down to the floor.  I'll admit it, he was  acting kind
of cute.  Like a scared little kid.

"Err...I have something to do after school so just come around five or five
thirty...cool?"

"Yeah that' cool."  I smiled at him, but he was too busy occupied with  the
tile work of the floor to see.  He didn't realize it then, but by the  end of
the night he would be mine.

Everyone was still talking about how good Loco`s party had been.  You  know a
party was fun when people are still talking about it four days  later.  All I
had been hearing was how "raw" the party was, but in my  opinion it was
pretty average.  The only good thing was that he had an  unlimited supply of
alcohol and if judging from all the red eyes, he must have  had an amble supply of
weed.  That was one thing I would be sure not to  smoke again.  The high wasn'
t bad or anything, but I didn't see what the  big deal was. Andy and Wes use
to get high all the time and when I say all the  time, I mean ALL THE TIME!
Then one day they just stopped.  I never  knew why and when I asked them about
it they would say that they were over the  whole "getting high" thing.  I
thought that there was more to it, but I  never pressed it.  I didn't see what the
big deal with weed was.  All  it did was relax me, but that liquor was a
different story.  I don't care  what some people may tell you, alcohol is NOT your
friend!

I had done my best the whole day to avoid Kayla, but I wasn't so fortunate
when lunch came around.  I thought that she would have been all over me,  but
she wasn't.  In fact, it seemed that she was trying her best to avoid  me too.
I knew she was probably embarrassed with how aggressive she was  that night,
but I wanted to let her know that I didn't think differently of  her.  The
truth was that I did, but she didn't need to know all of  that.  On the surface
she's this sweet, nice girl on student council, but  get a few drinks and a
little weed in her and she becomes Lil' Kim.  She  sat down across the table from
me and didn't even acknowledge me with a  hello.  After catching her staring
at me for the fifth time I asked her if  she wanted to go talk in the hallway
and she hesitantly agreed.  Amanda  just had to throw her two cents in.

"Now remember, there is ABSOLUTELY  NO SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE  ROOM."  She
said and I shot her a dirty look.  Kayla looked away  embarrassed and Peanut
chuckled under his breath.

"I'm guessing you know from personal experience?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, me and Peanut got caught twice last year."  Peanut looked  over
at Amanda and his laughter stopped.  His body language became fidgety  and I
would have swore that little beads of sweat started form around his  forehead.
 The better I got to know him, the more I noticed that he  could be extremely
shy when it came to girls.  I didn't think that he was  gay or anything like
that, just a little intimidated by the opposite sex.   Around all of the guys
he would clam up when the talk came around to sex.   Even I had the decency to
make pretend that I related to what everyone was  talking about, but not
Peanut.  He would just keep quiet and shake his head  in amusement at the stories
we would hear.  Amanda looked at him sideways  and chuckled to herself as she
sipped on her chocolate milk.  Kayla and I  went into the hallway, but your
not suppose to wander the halls during lunch, so  we ducked under stair case so
the lunch aides wouldn't see us.  People  normally went under the stairs to
make out our light up a cigeratte.  The  exit door was right next to the stair
case so in case you were doing something  that you weren't suppose to,  you
could make a quick get away.  I  could tell that Kayla wanted to be any where
else then alone with me under that  stair case. She avoided my eyes and we stood
there in silence for what felt like  an hour, but was more like a minute.

"So...Hey Kayla..." I said.  I didn't know how to start the  conversation.
The sudden nervous feeling that I was all too sure of that  morning I would
never feel again, returned only now it was different.

"Hey Chris...how was your weekend?" She replied.  She was just as  nervous
as I was.

"Good, I had one hell of a hang over on Saturday, but I'm fine now."

"Yeah me too...so..." She said  looking away.  I put my hands in my  pockets
and started to rock on back and forth on the heels of my feet.  A  nervous
habit I picked up from my dad Dan.

"So..." I replied.  I guess I was a man of few words.  I didn't  know how
to start it off.  In my head I had the perfect conversation  planned.  I would
tell her that I wasn't upset with what happened Friday  night and I would let
her down easy, but for some reason, I couldn't find the  right words to say.
Lucky for me I didn't have to.

"Well listen...I'm sorry with how crazy I acted at the party...You know...
too  much weed and shit...well...I'm just sorry." She blurted out in one long
sentence.

"No, it's cool.  That's what I wanted to talk about.  I just  wanted to make
sure that you didn't think I was mad at you..or something."

"Most guys would be.  I made you think that we were going to have sex  and
then I just ran out on you.  I'm sorry."  She looked upset so I  gave her a
little hug.  Just then I heard the exit door open and that loud  crazy ass laugh
that could only belong to Loco.

"Ay Yo! What up kid!  You picking up where you left off at the  party?"
Loco Joked and Kayla looked on embarrassed.  I could smell  the weed off of his
clothes and I knew he had most likely been lighting up a  blunt outside with no
fear of getting caught.  Some of the teachers  actually cared about us, but
the majority were only there to collect a  check.  Kenny was with Loco, but he
didn't look he had been  smoking.   I really didn't know Kenny all to well.
I knew like  Loco he was Portuguese, but he looked more like a white boy then
Joey did.   Kenny had bright blonde hair and green eyes.  He didn't have too
much of an  accent unless he was talking to someone else who was  Portuguese.
 He was fat, no getting around it.  It was  obvious he was a Eastie because
he wore the red sweat band cuffs around his  wrists.  East High School had a
strict policy on the wearing of bandanas or  any other head coverings.  I guess
in the early nineties they had a real  bad gang problem and instituted that
rule to stop the fighting between the  different gangs.  Amanda told me that if
a rival gang member snatches the  bandana (or how it is referred to by a gang,
their "flag") of a rival gang  member, then they get a lot of respect from
their fellow gang members.  The  "flags" represented everything that a gang
stood for and when a rival gang would  have possession of it, then it was like
everything they stood for then meant  nothing because someone who wasn't apart
of their organization had it.  To  me the whole thing just sounded stupid.
All anyone had to do was go to a  clothing store, pay two bucks and by one, you
didn`t have to be in a gang to  know that.  To avoid any type of problems, the
school banned them.   But, the gangs were smart.  Instead of carrying around
their "flags" and  risk getting expelled, they started to wear sweat bands or
for the girls hair  ties, in the color of their gangs.  I had seen the red of
the Easties, the  green of the Westies and the yellow of a gang whose name I
didn't know.  It  was all so pointless.

"No, me and Kayla were just talking." I said.

"Hey did you see that game on Saturday?" Loco asked.  Oh boy, he was  in one
of his mood where he would be jumping from topic to topic.

"What game?" I asked.  I really had no idea what game he was talking  about.
 I didn't really follow sports, but I had a weakness for The  Yankee's.  One
thing that I picked up from my dad was an unnatural love for  the baseball
and all things that were "The New York Yankee's".

"The basketball game...you know Philly verses Orlando?"

"No, I don't watch basketball.  I'm a baseball man." I told  him.

"Shit son, you mad whack! How you not gonna watch basketball-Oh, Kenny you
gotta cop your shit from Joey now cause he busy after school." Loco said,
turning his attention to Kenny. My attention was sparked at the mention of  Joey.

"Why can't I get my stash after school?" Kenny asked.

"Cause he gonna be getting some from Mercy." Loco said with a smirk on his
face.  I looked at him curiously.  `Was that the reason the Joey told  me to
come over so late?' I asked to myself.  Was he gonna be sleeping with  Mercy?
My first reaction was to get angry.  I knew that I had no  claim to him, but I
couldn't help it. I really, really, liked him and the  thought of him with
anyone else, boy or girl was upsetting.  The anger  faded as my resolve to get
Joey to come to terms with his feelings for me  returned.

The rest of the day flew by and I was sitting on the number 66 bus with
Amanda.  I was anxious to see if what Loco said was true and couldn`t get  off the
bus quick enough.  Amanda questioned me as to why I was getting off  six bus
stops before my usually one and I made up same lame excuse of having to  go to
the post office.  She offered to come with me, but I told her it  wasn't
necessary and rushed off before she could protest.  It was ten  minutes past three
by the time I reached Joey's house.  I went to the back  of his house to
knock on his door.  He has his own separate entrance in the  back that leads to
his basement bedroom.  His backyard was neat and trim  and a small cocker
spaniel puppy started yapping as soon as it saw me.  He  must have just gotten it
because it wasn't there last time I was at his house  and he never mentioned it.
 The dog was cute with its big brown eyes and  beige colored curly hair, but
it just would not be quiet.  I knocked on the  door three times and got no
response. I was about to knock again when I heard  Joey's voice yelling at
someone from the front of his house.  I was afraid  that Joey would come out and
find me lurking in his back yard, so I ran back to  the front of his house, but
stopped short when I recognized the voices.  I  hid in the pathway that was
between his backyard and front yard.  The  yelling was coming from that
annoyingly, artificially, baby soft voice of "The  Bitch", I mean Mercedes.

"What the fuck do you mean you don't want to get back together?" Mercedes
screamed.

"Why are you tripping, I never said that I wanted to get back with  you.
Shit girl, you offered to come over and braid my hair, you ain't say  nothing
about fucking." Joey yelled back at her.

"Why don't we go inside...and talk."  She said in a softer voice.   It was
easy to tell that she was just trying to get on his good side, but he  wasn't
even trying to listen to her.

"You know my mom's don't let girls come in when she's not home. I ain't
even trying to hear her mouth if she find out.  You can do my hair on the  porch.
" He said.  I smiled.  I knew he wouldn't mess around with  her.  Yeah, she
was pretty, but God she was trashy.  I waited in that  pathway for close to
ten minutes, afraid of Joey seeing me.  I crept back  into the backyard to try
and find some way for me to escape without being  caught.   The puppy was
asleep and I saw that Joey's backyard was  connected with a neighbors, so all I
would have to do is hop a little fence and  I would be  home free.  I had just
made it to the fence when at that  exact moment, little cocker decided to wake
up and start barking.  I heard  Joey's footsteps coming, along with the
clacking of cheap high heel shoes, down  the walkway.  My quick thinking saved me
from dying of complete  embarrassment.

"Chris? Why are you playing with my dog?" Joey asked me.  I put down  the
puppy, who was licking my face, and I tried to think of something to  say.

"Ahhhh...Hey Joey. What's up Mercedes. I forgot what time you said to come
over so I just came straight over here." I said, but I don't think he bought my
 lie.  A little smirk came over his face.  Half of his head was braided  in
fresh corn rows and the other half of his head was a wild mess of crimps and
curls from where he had just taken out the old ones.  The one problem with  his
kind of hair is that braids don't last more than two or three days before
they start to look raggedy.  Mercedes looked anything but pleased to see  me,
but from the fake smile she gave me, it was hard to tell.

"Hey Chris boo!" She said as she leaned into to hug me, albeit half
heartedly, but I returned it with even less enthusiasm. "Why don't you come
back it an hour... so me and Joey can finish up." She continued.

"No, Mercy, Chris can stay."  Joey said and Mercedes arched her  already too
highly arched eyebrow in protest.

"You know what, why don't you too do what ever it is that you have to do
and I'll finish your hair tomorrow."  Mercedes said and walked off without  so
much as a good bye.  Joey looked relieved to see her leaving and as our  eyes
met, he became nervous.  He picked up his dog and headed for towards  his
basement entrance.  He said nothing and neither did I.  I had the  whole scenario
played out in my head, but now that the opportunity was in front  of me, I had
no clue as to what to do.  Joey disappeared upstairs for a few  minutes
before returning with two sodas.  I sat in a chair by his desk and  he sat on his
bed, both of us too nervous to say anything until finally the  moment was
broken.

"So, lets do this." Joey said as he took out his sketch pad and charcoal
pencil.

"Yeah, where do you want me?" I asked and started to blush as I realized
how I might have sounded.  Joey noticed to, as I saw a flush of heat travel  up
his neck and slowly creep up his cheeks before spreading to the tips of his
ears.  He was so white!

"Right there in the chair is fine."   He kept picking at the few  freshly
down braids that he had in his head like they were bothering him.   Most people
would not have been able to look as attractive as he did with half  of his
head done and the other half a wild tangle of crimps, waves and  curls.

"Why are you picking at your hair?" I asked, trying to start a conversation
about anything. As if he suddenly become self conscious, he immediately
stopped  twirling at his hair, like a child who had just been scolded by his
mother.

"No reason, I just hate having half of my hair done.  Its just doesn't  feel
right." He mumbled and began to tap the charcoal pen against the bare white
paper of the sketch pad.  He was leaving dark gray traces with each  tap.

"That because its throwing off your equilibrium." I said.  I really  had no
clue what I was talking about, but I just wanted the conversation to keep
flowing.  He looked up at me in confusion.

"My what?"

"Balance, you're feeling unbalanced because your hair is only half  done."
I knew I wasn't making any since and so did he. He smirked and  looked at me
with one eyebrow cocked up.

"Shut up." He laughed and shook his head back and forth.  I laughed  too,
not because I found anything funny, but because his laugher was  contagious.
The tension had eased up  and I was felt daring.

"If you want, I could help you take them out."  I told him.  I  couldn't
look him in the eyes as I said it so I just stared at the familiar  posters on
his wall.  I noticed the one of Tyra Banks was no longer up  there.  He looked
apprehensive and started to unconsciously twirl the cross  of Jesus that hung
around his neck.  I knew he was thinking it over and  before he got the chance
to say no, I had already made my way to his bed and sat  next to him with my
back against his head board.  I instructed him to get  on the floor and rest
his against my lap so I could have easy  access.   I thought it was a cheap move
and didn't think that he would  fall for it, but he did.   I could see that
he was uncomfortable with  the position his neck was in, yet he said nothing
about it.  I was getting  excited with the sight of his head in my lap and had
to casually push back  against the bed occasionally.

I slowly began to untangle his soft hair, letting my fingers dangle gently,
intertwining with the soft, light brown silk that he had for hair.  He  closed
his eyes and began to lean back lower and lower until he head was resting
completely against  the insides of my legs.  The expected happened  again, but
thankfully he couldn't feel it from the position his head was  in.   It only
took a few minutes before I had all the braids a loose  and his light brown hair
lay sprawled out against my denim covered legs.   Little peaks  sun light
shined through the small windows that were high  above his, bed illuminating his
hair to appear almost golden in color.  My  fingers continued to play with it,
amazed at the variation of the textures of  our hair.  Mine was short,
slightly rough and tightly curled where as his  was long and extremely soft.  Pardon
me for sounding really gay, but it  really was like touching silk.

His eyes were closed and he made no attempt to move away.  I kept  running my
fingers through his hair as he sighed.  I looked down to study  the contours
of his face.  His nose was kind of small, with a pointed  bridge, but it
suited him well.  His eyebrows and long eyelashes were a  shade darker than the
hair on his head.  The slight cleft of his chin was  noticeable, like it always
was when he seemed to be in deep thought.  His  eyes flashed open, startling me
with a  flood of crystal blue.    His eyes should have looked cold, but held
a warmth in them that calmed  me.   He slowly began to bring his head upwards.
 I didn't  realize that I was lowering my head until our lips had touched.
Slowly,  almost timidly we shared our fourth kiss.  My neck was aching from the
 position that it was in, but I ignored that. He snaked his tongue out to
meet  mine.  I grabbed a fistful of his thick wavy hair and guided his head with
the movements of mine.  He in return placed his hands on the back of my  head
and intensified the kiss bringing me down closer to his body.  I knew  how it
was going to end and I had to say something so the same thing that  happened
the two previous times, wouldn't happen again.  I tried pulling  back from the
kiss and at first he wouldn't let me.  It wasn't until my  fourth attempt
that I was able to finally break us apart.  Looking down at  his baggy jeans, I
could see he was worse off, or better off depending how you  looked at it,
then I was.   I moved across the room and sat in his  desk chair as he remained
sitting on his bed with one leg tucked under the  other.  His red Jersey hung
loosely over his shoulders, making him look  smaller than his actual six foot
frame was.  His breathing was as heavy as  the confusion on his face was.

"We can't keep doing this.  You can't keep doing this to me!" I yelled  and
he looked at me sorrowfully.  It wasn't until that moment that I  realized
just how frustrated with the whole situation I really was.  This  swarm of anger
just lashed out at him.  My plan of gently helping him come  to terms with
himself went right out the window as my aggravations with the  whole situation
came out.

"I know.." He whispered and he couldn't even look me in the eye.  I  calmed
down a little and moved up and sat next to him.

"You need to know that I'm gay...and I really like you...in that way." I put
 my hand on his shoulder and  felt it tremble beneath my hand.  He  looked
away and put his head in his hands and rested his elbows on his  thighs.  His
hair spilled down his face, hiding it from my eyes. He took a  deep breath and
sighed as he let it out.

"I know..." He whispered.

"And...your gay...?" I asked carefully.  His shoulders shook with even  more
force and I heard the most God awful sound that I hope to never hear  again.
It came out as a hushed scream, filled with agony and ache that  only a
lifetimes of hiding can produce.  He turned towards  me and his  face was dripping
with tears and I could see the shame on his face.  He  made no sounds. I knew
he felt like less than a man for crying, especially in  front of me.  I wiped
away a few of his tears and he grabbed my hand,  gripping it forcefully.  His
face twisted in anger and his grip on my hand  grew so tight that I could feel
the tips of my fingers begin to tingle as they  numbed.  I winced and tried to
move out of his grasp, but he only made it  tighter.

"YEAH...I'M GAY! HAPPY NOW? I WAS FINE UNTIL I MET YOU!! YOU HEAR ME!!!
FUCKING FINE!!!!THEN YOU COME ALONG AND FUCK SHIT UP FOR ME! WHY DID YOU DO THIS
TO ME? HUH! WHY!!GOD!! I HATE YOU!!!!" He yelled.  Little bits of his  saliva
hit me in the face with the force of his words.  At that moment I  was
honestly afraid of him.  I had never seen that side of him.   Before that point,
everything had been shy smiles and discrete touches.   That had all changed to
hateful glares and accusations.   I never  thought that I would me scared of him,
but all I wanted to do was get out of  there.  I tried to move, but I couldn'
t get out of his grasp.

"Joey, let go-----YOUR HURTING ME!!!" I half yelled, half pleaded.   His
grip just grew tighter and tighter until both of his hands were squeezing  each
of my wrists.  I had never seen such a look of anger on anyone's face  before.
I  yelled at him again to let me go, but he didn`t.  His  sudden forcefulness
had thrown me off at first and I wasn't prepared.  The  brief fear that I
felt was replaced with rage.  I wasn't going to let him  just put his hands on me
like that. "JOEY! LET ME THE FUCK GO! GET THE FUCK OFF  ME! I LOVE YOU DAMNIT!
" I yelled and he immediately let go.  I didn't mean  for him to hear me say
that I loved him.  I didn't even realize until after  I had said it, that I
did love him.  I was in love with him.  I was in  love with him and all I
wanted to do was get away from him.  He shook his  head, disgusted by himself.  He
turned to me with a saddened face and spoke  in a whisper.

"God!!! I'm sorry.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.  God! I'm so  sorry!" He
pleaded with me to forgive him, but I was pissed.  I looked down  at my wrists
to see the discolorations that were on them.   He had  squeezed me so hard
that I could see his finger prints embedded on my skin. I  was so pissed at him
that I thought I would hit him.  I moved past him and  went to the door to
leave, but he ran after me to stop me.  He jumped in  front of the door so I
couldn't leave.

"WAIT! I'M SORRY!!  I'm so sorry. How do you know you love me?" He  didn't
look at me, but at the floor.  It was like he suddenly had this  fascination
with the fibers of his carpet.  The more he avoided my stare,  the angrier I
became.  I knew the disdain that I felt for him at that  moment was present in
my voice,

"I don`t know...I just do...".  I sighed and  my heartbeats began to  beat
faster and faster.   I could hear each thumb vibrate inside of my  ears.  It was
like I was suddenly aware of everything that went on around  me.  I hadn't
known him that long, but there was no denying it, I did love  him and at that
moment I hated that fact.

"I think that I might... love you too...." He said slightly detached, still
unable to meet my eyes.  He was crying again only this time the only thing  I
saw was sorrow in his face.   He was crying because he had just  admitted
something that he thought he never would.  He was crying because  he hurt me and
thought that he was too late.  If I wasn't still so upset  with the whole
ordeal, I might have been tempted to shed a tear or two at the  sight of him, but
I didn't.

"SAY IT AGAIN! I yelled.  I wanted to hear it again.  I grabbed  his hair to
make him look at me.  He looked at me and leaned down.  He  gave me the most
gentlest of kisses.  Not a kiss of passion, but one of  reassurance.  It melted
away some of the anger that I had felt. He pulled  back and looked down at me
and smiled.

"Yeah, I think I do.  I think I love you."  Fear was still on his  face, but
when I placed his hands in mine, a little bit of it faded away.   We walked
over to his bed and sat down, saying nothing.  We both were  staring at our
intertwined hands, not looking at anything else.  I looked  into his face and he
looked into mine.

"You sure?" I asked.  I needed to hear him say it.  That way I  would be
sure I wasn't making the worst mistake of my life.

"Yeah, I think I am.  God! I am so scared of this!  I didn't want  this for
my life, but with you...it...it just...it feels right.  You know?"  He said
and half smiled.  His face was tear streaked and his hair was a  mess, but in
that moment he had never looked more beautiful.

He leaned down and kissed me again, pushing me back until my back lay on  top
of his navy blue comforter.  He laid down on top of me with his legs on  the
outside of mine.  He was kind of heavy, but I didn't want to break the  mood
so I kept quiet about it.  His hands snaked up my shirt and he slowly  began to
rub his hands up and down my bare back.  He stopped for a moment  and looked
like he was going to stop.  I was preparing myself for yet  another let down,
but he surprised me with a grin. He pulled off his shirt to  reveal a lean,
slightly muscular body.  He wasn't overly developed, he just  had a natural
toned build and his skin was a little white, but not pale.   His head was covered
by his shirt and I took that opportunity to switch things  around.  I tackled
him to the bed and laid on top of him.  I playful  nipped at one of his soft
pink nipples. Surprised, he squeaked out a moan that  caused me to laugh.  He
smirked and asked me what was so funny as I moved  up to kiss his mouth again.
His mouth was warm and I tasted faint traces  of mouth wash.  `That's why he
took so long upstairs' I thought to  myself.  I ran his nipple through my
fingers and the same squeaky moan  erupted from his throat once again and we both
laughed between our kisses.   I don't know how long we made out for, but the
sketch had long been  forgotten.  We both needed to catch our breathes and
ease the tension in  our pants so I pulled back and just laid  in his arms.  I
had this  urge to just yank my hand inside of his boxers, but I quickly pushed
that  thought out of my mind.  We had just started things and I didn't want to
rush things.  My shirt was still on, albeit half way off, but still on, and
his shirt had long been thrown down to the floor.  My head was resting
against his arm and I turned to look at him.  We both stared at each other,
studying the other.  He took one hand and gently swept it down my cheek and  leaned
over to gently kiss the tip of my nose.  I stuck my tongue out to  lick the
cleft on his chin and so began the continuation of our kissing.  I  ran my
fingers across  both of his nipples this time and that familiar  squeaky moan once
again exuded from him causing me to laugh once again.  He  laughed hard this
time and rolled us over so that I was on top of him. I was  straddling his legs
and I could feel both of our erections touching each other  through our
clothes.  I grinded myself into him slightly and he immediately  sat up and kissed
me.   He helped me take my shirt off  and cast  it down to the floor next to
his.   Once my shirt was off, he took on  of my nipples between his fingers and
rolled it around roughly.  All I felt  was pain briefly before  I felt this
subtle pleasure and my own squeaky  moan erupted.  He laughed at me and said  `
See, it feels good don't  it.'  I moaned a yes and laid back down on him to
kiss him again.  I  began to grind myself harder and harder into him as our
kisses deepened.   Soon we were both panting and couldn't even kiss anymore so we
just sucked on  the others tongue.  I felt him struggling to unbuckle his belt
and I went  to help him. We were about to get down to some serious business
when the sound  of  Interpol's song `Obstacle One' started to ring loudly
startling us  apart.  We looked around the room until I realized that it was my
cell  phone and I recognized the ringer tone.   It was Aunt Mickey and she  told
me that I needed to come home because Roger was taking us out.  Roger  had
been doing that a lot lately and the more time that I spent with him, the  more
he grew on me.  Joey sighed out of content as we tried spend our last  moments
snuggled up in each other`s arms.   My arms over his shoulders  and his over
mine, pulling us tightly into an embrace that made our legs rest  over each
others.  He broke the serenity of the moment  with six  little words that made
me melt.

"Chris?" He asked.  I thought that he was going to tell me that I  should
get ready to go before I was late and I disentangled myself from his  arms.

"Yeah?" I said as I looked up into those pools of cold winter's ice that
warmed my heart...and the inside of my thighs.

"Want me to walk you home?" I looked at him and smiled.  It was dark  out
and I knew that he shouldn't be walking around my way alone that late and I  wasn
't going to let him.  But, the thought that he would take that risk for  me
was enough to make me want to stay forever with him, snuggled up in his  bed.
I told him that if he tried walking me home, I would beat his  ass.  We both
laughed because he knew that I couldn't even if I  tried.  We kissed in his
bedroom for a little while longer before he walked  me to the bus stop.  The bus
would get me home in five minutes and the walk  would have taken close to a
half and hour.  The weather was back at its  normal fall temperature and my
jacket wasn't doing much to keep me warm, but the  thought of Joey holding me did.
 He waited with me the ten minutes that it  took the bus to come.  We kept
complimenting each other about the simplest  things.  I had never felt so much
joy and giddiness in my life than I did  that day with him. I looked at him
through the bus window and we watched each  other's grinning faces until we couldn
't see each other.  The last thing I  saw was his silhouette waving goodbye
as my bus turned that corner, leading me  away from his neighborhood and into
mine.  I sat back in my seat, smiling  to myself.  I knew that I was in love
and so did he.  I can't explain  the joys of knowing that your in love and that
the same feeling is  returned.  It felt like it took us so long to get to that
point and no  matter all the aggravation and annoyance that I felt, the
journey had been worth  it.  That day was one of the happiest of my life. The smile
of my face  become broader and broader as  the realization of what had just
happened  continued to sink in.  He was mine.  He was mine and I was his!
Nothing could come between us and that's how I planned on keeping it...

			    TO BE CONTINUED...

Wanna know what happens next? You would if you were in my yahoo  group:

_http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MaddyA_Stories_
(http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MaddyA_Stories)    Gotta love the self
promotion hehehe.... 

Copyright 2005