Date: Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:24:54 -0600
From: robert brown <rbrown001@cox.net>
Subject: Awakening of Innocence 2

			  AWAKENING OF INNOCENCE
			 Part two: Detective Work


    I finally got up and went home, still fretting over what had happened
and, more to the point, what was going to happen to me if it were ever
found out.

   I came to no conclusions and woke up the next morning with it still on
my mind. I couldn't believe what I'd let happen to me. Basically my
feelings were divided. I couldn't deny the physical sensations I'd felt
were great . . . nothing like I'd ever known before, but I was also
frightened what it meant that I'd done it with a policeman.  A policeman
. . . I could hardly believe it.  I didn't know old men did stuff like
that.  He was like a teacher.

   I did know one thing, however. I had to find this man and try to get
some idea of what he was going to do, whether he was going to tell what I'd
done or not. We had more than one off-duty policeman who worked for the
school, directing traffic and patrolling the campus. I never paid much
attention to them, but I knew they worked in shifts.

   That morning I determined to get a good look at all of them before I
went to class.  Maybe I'd recognize the one who'd done so many wonderful
things to my body the afternoon before.

   I knew he hadn't seen my face, but he'd seen my whole body over the
stall as he watched me beating off, and he'd recognize my dick for sure, if
he ever saw it again, but not my face. So, I put a cap on to cover my hair
and a rain poncho to help disguise my body, and started off to school.

   Approaching campus, I saw a policeman at the southeast corner. But, as I
neared the corner, I saw it was a police woman, so that left three to look
for. One officer stood at each of the four corners of the block, so there
were only three left to check out.

   I continued to the northeast corner where a second policeman was
directing traffic in the middle of the street.  When I saw him better, I
knew I'd seen him before.  He was a younger policeman who was very popular
with the kids at school. He drove a neat car and was always nice to us, but
he was also like a teacher and kept a distance from us.

       Sergeant Ron, as we called him, or sometimes just Ron, was a clean-cut
athletic type of guy who often shot hoops by himself behind the gym. I knew
he wasn't the one I was looking for, so I continued to the corner at the
northwest side of the campus.

     I'd never seen the policeman on this corner. He was very old, at least
40, kind of heavy with gray hair. He paid no attention to me as I watched
him from the sidewalk, so I decided he couldn't be the one I was looking
for either. That meant if the man I was looking for was working today, it
had to be this last policeman.

     When I saw him from a distance, my heart sunk. Yes, I thought, looking
at him. I'd seen him before. He'd been at the school at least two years. I
knew he lived nearby and spent a lot of his time up there, mainly in the
gym talking to the other guys. His name was Bart.

     As I thought about him, I remembered that some guys on the football
team last year had told me he hung around in the dressing rooms and showers
a lot. He'd give them advice and massaged their sore muscles. But they said
sometimes he'd just stare into the showers or at guys in the locker room
and not even hear you if you spoke to him.

     Kind of strange. He also had a habit of pulling at himself outside his
pants and saying things like his balls were too big to stay in his shorts.
Then he'd laugh and rub his crotch. But, he was interested in sports and
had even had some of the athletes over to his house to watch games on
television or to play video games.

     Some of the boys said they'd heard some things about him, but he was
all right. I remember I thought they were just using him. I heard he gave
some of them money or joints and even let them stay overnight at his house
when they didn't want their parents to see them coming in drunk or high.

     I don't think any of them really liked him. They sure didn't talk like
they did. But I didn't really know him.

     When I walked up to the corner, he saw me looking at him. He smiled,
seeming to wink at me as if he knew me. I felt weak inside and a little
sick at my stomach.  Oh, no, no, I thought. I don't want to believe it was
him.
     I'd always sensed something gross and repulsive about him, but no, he
couldn't be the one I let do all those things to me yesterday. The thought
of it made me sick at my stomach.

     As I walked away, I looked back at him. He was also looking at me, a
faint smile moving on his face as if he were remembering something that he
liked a lot. His eyes followed me until I made myself look away and turn
the corner. I stopped, just staring at the ground. Well, I thought, I guess
I'll have to admit he was the one.

      All that day, I kept going over and over in my mind the things he'd
done to me and what he might want to do if I met him again that afternoon
after school.  I didn't seem to have any choice but to let him do what he
wanted to. In time I'd get use to it. After all, what he did yesterday did
feel good. I could close my eyes and pretend I didn't know who was doing it
to me.

     Then I'd think, no, I can't do that. The thought of it makes me sick
in the pit of my stomach.  Besides, what would I do if told the other boys
about it?  No, I'd have to find some other way to solve this.

    Later, as the time for school to end drew closer, I was dreading what I
knew I had to do. I had to meet him in the bathroom as planned and explain
to him that it had been a mistake and I couldn't do anything like that
again, but I wondered what his reaction would be.

     He might get angry and threaten to tell people what I did if I didn't
do what he said. But then I thought no, he couldn't tell what I did without
having it known what he did to me. I didn't really do anything except let
him. But maybe that was enough to put me in jail.

     It also occurred to me he couldn't have recognized me as the guy in
the bathroom because he never saw my face. But then, I thought he might
have recognized my dick. He could easily have seen it many times in the
locker room. I didn't remember seeing him in there when I was, but he could
have been standing somewhere in the locker room one or more of the times
when I was showing it off to everyone. I did that often enough.

     Then I realized he must also have known what my face looks like since
he recognized me at the traffic stop this morning.  No, I had to face it. I
was trapped.

     That afternoon, when school recessed, I walked around a while before
going down to the boys' room to face him. I decided all I could hope for
was to maybe make a deal of some kind with him, anything to keep him quiet.

     But as I was about to go in the bathroom, I changed my mind. No, I
would not meet him again in the bathroom. I'd find some other way to get
out of it, and maybe he'd just forget it on his own. I was leaving.

     As I started up the stairs, two boys from my home room were racing
down the steps. They had a couple of cigarettes and were going into the
bathroom to smoke them, asking me to go with them.  As we were talking
about it, a man suddenly appeared at the top of the steps.

     I held my breath as I looked up at him, but it was only Sergeant Ron
making his rounds.  I took a sigh of relief, but for a moment.

     "What are you boys doing down here?" he asked.  "School's over. You
don't have any business being in the building." We looked at him, saying
nothing. "You'd better not be down here smoking," he warned, looking at us
suspiciously.

     We stammered around, finally saying we were leaving and scampering up
the stairs, went out of the building. I don't know what the other guys did
then, but I went home and tried to forget everything by taking a nap.


			to be continued . . . . . .