Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2007 07:26:55 -0800 (PST)
From: Wolf River <riverwolf101@yahoo.com>
Subject: Bad Boys And Fast Cars - 5

 	"No way! I said. "There's no friggen way! Eath come're!" Ethan
rubbed his sleepy eyes and moaned. I know the last thing he wanted to do at
8am on a Saturday was get out of bed but he'd have to learn to change
that. I couldnt just stay in bed all day waiting for something exciting to
happen. He finally got his lazy ass out of bed after noticing I was totally
naked and padded across the room to look over my shoulder. "What?" The
eloquince of his statement made me snort, what a charmer. I jabbed my
finger right into the middle of the classifides and said "They only want
two grand for it! I mean yeah they said it needs some work but thats
AWSOME!" Apparently waking Ethan up to talk about motorcycles is a bad
idea, because next thing I knew I was headbanging to forces beyond my
control... also known as Ethan was shaking me by the shoulers. "AGG cut it
out ya' big ogre! Wha'd I do??" I squeaked indignantly. When the Earth
finally stopped mamba-ing Ethan answered "Dane, how are you gonna get two
thousand dollars... for a MOTORCYCLE?! You already have that damn hot-rod
taking up space in my driveway! Isn't that enough?" He asked, more than a
little agrivated.

	Oh, maybe I should fill you in. Ethan and I have been living
together for 3 days, Sheila, the social worker chick, was more than happy
to let my stay with Ethan. She said something about him needing the settle
down, so I'm takin' a chance and assuming that she knows were together. My
sister actually moved in with my aunt in Florida. I mean it sucks balls
that we cant be together but Aunt Linda insisted that a single cops two
bedroom appartment was no place for a 12 year old girl, plus she has two
teenage girls of her own so Katie'll have some company. I have a full time
job, at McDonald's (yeah go ahead laugh but the pay is good) And of course,
upon Ethan's unrelenting insistance I'm at that troubled kid's school full
time, half a day. Funny how things just tend to fall into place. Well not
that things are perfect, I'm still flunking math and I've got a load of
issues from living with my mom and shit but yeah... life's alright. Now
back to the story.

	"HEY!!! My car is not 'Taking up space!' it's waiting for me to get
the cash to replace the front bumper, plus its not MY fault someone decided
to see if it could pull her pickup out of the mud!! It's a sports car, not
a tow-truck!" Ethan laughed, shaking his head. We'd been over his partners
actions a million times but Jen's reasoning still made him laugh. Oh,
right, Jen is Ethan's beat partner, a tall blonde haired, blue eyed babe of
a lesbian with a tough chick additude and suave style. Ethan and Jen have
known one another sence way before high-school. They even dated for a long
time, and I cant get Ethan to tell me whether or not they ever did it,
which means they sooo did! "Look you know Jennifer would pay for the damn
bumper if you'd let her. But noo you had to be all 'Don't worry about it
I've got a job now, plus it need's a new paint job.'  And I dont know why
you cant drive the fuckin' thing without a bumper anyways! Your not
actually PLANNING on rear ending anyone... are you?" Ethan got this look in
his eyes, the one that told me he was silently praying I wasn't planning to
do it, but he coudln't quite be sure. I laughed and said "No I'm not. But
do you have ANY idea how embarrased my baby would be if she had to go on
the road without a bumper? It's like me making you walk out'a the house in
only your underwear, wait... make that only in a pair of Sponge-bob
underwear!" Ethan frowned at me and said "I worry about you sometimes..."
then rolled his eyes and walked out of the bedroom.

	I padded after him with a smile on my face untill I realized he was
headed towards the bathroom, I mean yeah I love seeing his dick but I'm no
piss pig, plus I was hungry! I riffled through the fridge till I found the
soy milk, then moved stuff around in the cupboards till I located the
granola. A recent check of Ethan's blood pressure durring a routine
physical that the station demanded had show it sky rocketing due to his bad
eating habbits. So that night I'd cleared out the entire fridge, stollen a
hundred bucks from his wallet and stocked the house with oatmeal, granola,
soy milk, vitamins, vegitables, acutall soy, and a bunch of other health
food. Needless to say Eath was pissed, mostly cause there was absolutely no
meat in the house but he'd get over it... I think. Plus this was the kinda
stuff I ate. So I sat down at the kitchen table and dug into my
breakfast. When Ethan walked in he shivered and said "I dont get how you
can eat the same thing for breakfast day after day Dane, I'm sure THATS not
healthy." I just laughed and with my mouth still full said "So what its
better than getting fat like you!" He glared at me and walked over to the
fridge without responding. I heard a few little sniffles coming from his
side of the kitchen and jerked my head up. Yup, definate sniffles. I bolted
from the table and ran over to him, sliding on the slick lenolum time the
whole time.

	"Whoa Eath man I didn't mean it! I sorry!!" I said in my most
pleading voice. I wiggled between him and the open refrigeratior door and
looked at his face. He was biting his bottom lip and his face was bright
red. It took me a second to notice the vibration in his shoulders was
actually him trying not to laugh! "JERK!" I yelled as I shoved him. He took
a quick step back and returned my shove with interest "Your the jerk, you
called me fat!" I laughed and said "No you are, you made me feel bad for
your FAT ass!" From there on it turned into one huge shoving match that
ended up with me on my back on the floor and him looming over me
panting. "See, told you you were out of shape." And I wriggled out from
under him while he caught his breath.

	I finished eating while the cop resigned himself to a piece of
whole grain toast with organic peanutbutter and a cup of coffee. "So your
gonna have to entertain yourself for a little while kid, I've still got to
go into work and help Shell with a few things. But I should be back around
noon." Ethan was getting up from the table as he said it, walking back into
the bedroom to change. "What? Awwe man no way, come on!" I
groaned. Great... I was alone on a Saturday morning, oh well. "Can I go
hang out for a while then?" I asked. I hadn't seen many of my old friends
sence moving into Ethan's. I mean after all it's not like I can bring half
a dozen reefers over to a cops house and expect things to be
kopacetic. Ethan gave me a funny look from the bedroom and said "With who?"
I rolled my eyes and said "Oh this meth dealer and a few of his
hookers. You know, gotta keep my pimp hand strong and all." The cop laughed
and said "Alright, alright I trust you. Do what you want, but uhm I know
you used to do all that... stuff. And I cant really tell you not to but
lets just say... I wish you wouldn't, alright?" I groaned. If he'd just
said don't do it, I would have. But now that he was asking pretty please
with sugar on top, I'd feel guitly. I just stayed quiet and poked at my
food as he walked out the front door.

	I met up with Jan and Diego outside the mall at 10 (and yess I had
to take my baby outside without a bumper, I hope shes not to upset about
it...). Diego was one of thouse guys that looked like he'd stepped out of
the gutter and into a GQ magazine but coudln't decide which style he liked
better. Today he was wearing a styling suit jacket over a Jack off Jill
t-shirt that looked like it had seen one to many mosh-pits. His pants were
bright orange corderoy and had electric blue chains running back and forth
between the pockets, with a few between his legs. But his hair was slicked
back buisness man style and he had a book in his hand, I couldn't help but
laugh when I read the title 'Of mice and Men'. Good book, totally clashed
with his broad grin... and the fact that he was trying to climb the
wall... Now it's a little harder to describe Jan, well of course it is,
she's a chick right? She's tall, about 5'8 (yeah yeah rub it in shes taller
than me) with straight blonde hair and a heart shaped face. Her eyes change
from deep blue to purple, to green at will. If she wasn't wearing a pair of
blue jeans and some band t-shirt she was wearing a skirt and some band
t-shirt. I don't think I'd ever seen her war a blouse accept last year when
I took her to winter formal.

	"Whaddup nark." Diego said as he hopped down off the wall. I
cringed, I didn't think he'd take to me living with Ethan so well. "I'm not
a nark D. Ethan's cool, and you know it's better for me there than with my
mom." I replied, running my hands through my hair (I had it down today,
sometimes I dont really feel like spending an hour hammering it into a
perfect fan) Jan walked over to Diego and smacked him on the chest "We
talked about this D, its COOL that Dane found a place hes safe in,
remember? You even said yourself that Ethan was a cool guy." Leave it to
Jan to get between us. Diego and I got along really well for the most part
but sometimes the guy had to much testoserone for his own good. "No, I said
Ethan was cool... for a cop! But yeah I was just giving ya' a hard time
Dane, no sweat you know? Just dont go all goody goody on us 'kay?" I
laughed and shook my head, saying "You know I'd never do that to you!"
After Jan finished her cigarette and Diego and I argued playfully for a few
minutes, we decided to actually go into the mall.

	Our first stop was into the tattoo place to see one of our friends
Ricky, or Rat, depending on his mood for the day. I plopped down into the
'Chair of Doom' as he calls it, and said "Ok, so what I want is a big ole'
set of lips puckered up, you know, a pair that looks like yours? Right on
my left ass cheek!" Rats fiance`, his PREGNANT fiance, came over to me and
smacked me on the back of the head "Awwe Mindy I wasn't talking about you!
I was talkin' 'bout that worthless piece of shit over there!" I whined and
pointed at Rat, who was in the middle of giving some wanna be punk rocker a
nipple piercing. I dude was like twenty pounds and five years
to... something... to be getting a nipple piercing but whadever, like Ricky
says "Money is money and I get to hurt people for a living." After the fat
dude left Rat came over and said "Ok, so it was a pair of lips you wanted?
Roll over and lets get started!" He grabbed my by the shoulder and rolled
me onto my stomach before I could get away. Then he grabbed my hips and
pulled them up, so my ass was sticking straight into the air. I mock
screamed and Diego ran over and smacked it hard, everyone else laughed and
I said "Get your nasty pervert hands off me!"

	He dropped me back into the seat and let me turn around. We sat and
talked to him for a while, and figured out that they wanted to name the
baby Minny if it was a girl but they weren't shur if it was a
boy. Suggestions like Rocky, Killer, Bulldog, Samuel (Jan's idea) and Kiwi
(mine) were all shot down. We also figured out that Rat's mom and dad were
coming in to town, which was awsome because we all loved them. See, Rat got
his nick-name a long time before we met him. He used to be just another one
of thouse black street kids that no one really noticed, his parents had
both OD'd and died when he was younge. He was called Rat because the sewer
rats came out at night when you slept on the streets, and they would nibble
at your fingertips, ears and toes if you couldn't cover them. So Rat's ears
were both missing more than just a few chunks. The people coming in to town
were actually a really nice middle class couple that had pulled him off the
streets and given him a second chance at life. They hadn't even been messed
up about him becoming a tattooist. They believed that as long as he was
happy it was okay. Rat had between fifteen and seventeen brothers and
sisters that his parents had saved just like him. We coudln't really keep
them in one place long enough to count them.

	That's pretty much how the rest of the day went. Jen had to be home
by two and when I got home Ethan still wasn't there so I just sat around
and watched TV untill later.

(sorry about the time gap but unless you want to hear about me watching
cartoons because Ethan got crappy cable channels I figured I should just
skip ahead to more interesting stuff)

	I was upset, scared, confused... but what teenager isn't? Ethan and
I had gotten into it, like a real screaming match that ended up with me
locking myself in the guest bedroom and him walking out the front door to
god knows where. He didnt even have a home phone so I couldnt call him if I
wanted to. At the moment I'm sitting in the farthest corner of the room
from the door, with my arms wrapped around my knees and shamefully I have
to admitt I'm crying. But I cant help it, the tears are beginning to feel
cold on my cheeks and I realize that while the lights in the room are off,
the celing fan is not. Strange the things you notice when your upset. So I
run my hands through my shaggy black hair, it feels lifeless and useless,
just like me. Ethan's still not alright with making love to me, or fucking,
or rutting like pigs I dont really care what you call it. The point is he
wont do it with me, it just makes me feel like shit even if he does have a
good reason. Theres a dust bunny floating around in the air and I realize
that this room must not get used that often. I wonder for a moment why Eath
bought a two bedroom place when he doesnt really need or use the extra
space.

	Cars are passing by like mad outside, gotta love rush-hour right?
Actaully at the moment I hate it. Because every damn car that pulls up into
Ethan's parking lot makes me think its him, and I get these butterflies in
my stomach that must have metallic wings because they fly around wildly at
first, and then when I realize I'm angry with Eath and he's still mad at me
the damn butterflies get tired and heavy and fall to the pit of my stomach
making me feel like I'm going to throw up. After a while of sitting on the
floor, letting silent tears coarse over my cheeks I get tired of being
scared and sad and worried. I try to forget about my past, I try for half a
second to forget about Ethan before I realize that its impossible to do. I
walk out of the dark room and flop my long body down on the couch with a
sigh. I figure I'll just sit here and wait for him to come home. My eyelids
start to get heavy, I'm emotionally drained, I guess that happens when you
cry...

	Next thing I know Eath's staring down at me from above the
couch. For half a second I let this goofy smile slide over my face. I've
forgotten that were still mad, and that he's proabably been gone for hours
doing god knows what. I sit up and streach, and halfway through a huge yawn
I realize that my lover isn't smiling. That he's still pissed off at me,
and I remember my metallic butterflies. I jumped off the couch and away
from his body, it's radiating heat and sense I'm cold all I honestly want
to do is wrap my arms tightly around him. I turn my head to the side, hair
slides from behind my ear down onto my cheek, tickling me and getting into
my eyes. I mumble "What?" In the general direction of the sexy cop as I
trudge to the closed and locked front door. Ethan sighs and says
"Dane... come here." My shoulder stiffen up and I glare at him "Don't tell
me what to do man. You can't be my father and my lover, pick one and stop
confusing me." I hadn't ment to say that... I'd just wanted him to shut
up... "Dane..." His voice broke "Is that what's bothering you?" Oh great,
he was onto something I really didn't want to talk about.

	I looked at him, his green eyes shimering in the half light of the
setting sun, his blonde hair catching in that same light and giving him a
beautifull halo affect. And then I look to the door, the knob beckoning my
name, begging me to leave this place and escape the pain I feel inside,
I've never been good at dealing with emotions. I fold, of course, and walk
back to Ethan, sitting on the edge of the couch and far away from him. He
sighs as if he's too tired to ask why I wont relax, but I know he wants to
know. "Please boy, tell me why your mad. We can't just be silent..." I
growled audibly and started to stand again, he stopped me with a firm hand
on my knee. I glared first at the hand encroaching on my space and then
into the clover green eyes of the man I love. "Get your hand off me." I
mutter. The hurt that registered in Ethan was more than I could handle at
the moment, his face had fallen, the sparkle of fight flew from his eyes
and his shoulders fell, while his entire body physicaly recoiled from
me. "D-Dane please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please GOD tell me what I did
to make you feel this way!" He shook his head, he was fighting demons I
knew nothing about and he coudlnt have look more hurt.

	Another time and place took over in my mind, back to when I was
younger. I had just gotten Farrari, she was a pup, not more than six months
old. For a moment the exact sceen fluttered through my head and it was hard
to place, then it all came back to me. She had gone on the carpet and my
mom had spanked me for it. I'd run to my room crying and slammed the
door. When my new puppy scratched at that same door and whimpered I opened
it. In my juvinile fit of rage I lashed out at the pup, willing to blame
anyone but myself for my mistakes. "GET!" My small voice yelled, the dog
took a step towards me, not understanding me, never having heard a tone
like that from me, her best friend. Without thinking of what I was doing I
slammed the door, Farrari let out a long yelp and when I looked down the
door was still open, she was sitting own with one paw in the air,
crying. Tears started to flow from my own young eyes, in my rage I had
slammed the door on her tiny paw. I knelt beside her quickly and she backed
up a step, on three legs. More tears flooded my eyes and poored onto my
cheeks. "I'm sorry girl, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me, please." I
begged in a tone I knew she'd understand. The little pup limped back
towards me and I took her injured foot in my hand. It was so small it
barely took up my little palm. I brought it to my lips and kissed it, not
reallying knowing what else to do. Then I picked her up and brought her
into my room. We curled up on the bed together, I with tears till streaming
down my cheeks, both from my own pain and having caused the little dog
pain.

	When I shook my head the image was gone but the tears were not. I'd
taken that emotion, the pain I'd felt years ago and begun to cry
again. Ethan moved quickly to my side, stroking my hair and asking me what
was wrong. I just cried harder untill I caught my breath and then the first
words out of my mouth were "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me,
please." just like they had been way back then. Ethan looked even more
concerned. "Forgive you for what Dane? Please let me in, let me know what's
going on." I sighed and cleared my throat to stop that rough whine that
tends to happen when your upset. "Forgive me for being an ass is what I
ment. I shoudln't have said the things I did earlier. And yes your right,
it does confuse me that one moment your my lover and the next my father,
but I can live with it. Honestly I'm just really overwhelmed." I sighed and
looked up at him, all that I wanted now was for us to stop fighting and him
to take me in his arms and tell me everything would be alright.

	He must have read my mind because he picked me up (remember,
freakish muscle-head cop strength) and sat me down on his lap, he kissed
behind my ear and said "Alright Dane, I get it. But I cant change the fact
that I have to tell you what to do. Well for another week at least, can we
please just live with it untill then? Once your 18 your life is up to
you. I just hope you'll take my adive from time to time. And as for the
things you said earlier, your right in appoligizing because they hurt. I'd
love to take you to my bed, but even if it were a year from now, your just
not ready. I know you want sex and thats alright but we need to be
emotionaly close first. I wish there was a way I could show that to you." I
groaned, I'd been a royal ass earlier in screaming at Ethan and telling me
that if he wouldnt fuck me he didnt love me. The look in his eyes then and
a moment ago when I told him not to touch me matched the look in Farrari's
eyes when I'd slammed the door on her paw. Shock, confusion, fear and pain.

	"I said I'm sorry. I'm just really messed up right now Eath. I get
it if you dont want to be with me right now but please dont walk a-" Before
I could finish my sentence Ethan had pulled me off his lap and he was on
his feet, towing in front of me with that ominous vein ticking in his
forehead. "DAMMIT DANE GET OVER IT! I LOVE YOU AND WILL NOT LEAVE YOU! STOP
FUCKING FEELING SO SORRY FOR YOURSELF. YOU'VE HAD A BAD COUPLE OF DAYS BUT
IM STILL HERE TO STAY!!!" Spit litteraly flew out of his mouth and it took
him a minute to catch his breath. If you listened real close in that moment
I'm almost sure you could have heard his voice echo all the way around the
city. A tiny smile crept over my lips and I reached up to kiss his angry
face. "Alright cop-man I get it. Youre like a leach I cant get rid of, and
I'm ok with that. I just get unsure sometimes. Forgive me?" Ethan blinked a
few times. Slowly peering at me with sqinted eyes. "Are you sure your not
insaine?" He asked wonderingly. "Yuppers, totally sure. I'm manic* not
insaine." Ethan ruffled my hair and sighed, sinking back into the couch. I
sat beside him going over things for a moment before questioning softly
"Where did you go when you left?"

	My cop stud looked down at me and smiled. "I went to the book store
down the street and picked up a copy of Dr.Phil's 'Family First: Your
Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family', 'Relationship Rescue:
A Seven Step Strategy for Reconnecting with Your Partner' and just for
kicks 'The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss
Freedom'. Why? Did you think I went to a ten second brothel?" I laughed,
hard! Looking towards the kitchen table I really did see a copy of each of
the books he'd mentioned. "Why... did you pick up a fat book?" I asked
between boughts of laughter. "Well you told me I was fat a few days ago and
now I'm self concious!" I started laughing all over again. And it didnt
stop untill Ethan said "Alright chuckles lets go hit the showers and get
some of that stink off ya!" I lifted up my pits and took a deep whiff. A
few seconds, two deep coughs and gags from me and one roar of laughter from
Ethan later, we found ourselves shoving eachother around in the warm
shower.

	Water cascaded down my back as Ethan ran his hands all over my
torso, carefully scrubbing ever inch of me above the waist (have I
mentioned lately that he doesnt play fair?), when he got to my lower back
for some reason I got wicked butterflies in my stomach. Not the metal
winged ones from earlier but some with feather soft wings that sped up my
pulse and made me take in a deep breath, and I wasn't sure why. Before I
could process what he was doing, Ethan hit his knees behind me and pawed my
legs apart untill I felt like I was about to fall down in the shower. I
leaned forward to prop myself up against the wall and I heard him make a
funny noise in his throat. My hair was plastered to my face and water was
running off my eyelashes and the tip of my nose. I could feel the steam
rising off the tile floor and the cool air coming from behind the shower
curtain. I could also feel Ethan's warm breath against my back and I
shivered, goosebumps running up my arms and down my sides...

(To be contined)

Thanks so much for hanging in there guys! I really appreciate the support
and the loyal fans. Sorry the chapter was so short but at least I'm back to
writing! And no promises but I might just have another book in the works
along with this one shortly! Emails good, bad and ugly are greatly
appreciated, thats what keeps me writing! Send emails to
Riverwolf101@yahoo.com


*Manic depression (what Dane((and the author)) has) is a condition in which
people have mood swings that are far beyond what most people experience in
the course of their lives. These mood swings may be low, as in depression,
or high, as in periods when they might feel very elated. The sudden changes
in mood are circumstantial and relatively uncontrolable.