Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2007 06:42:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bobby <brokendreamboi@yahoo.com>
Subject: A Beautiful Lie ch.1 High School Section

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are completely
fortuitous. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. If
such content offends you please leave now. The author maintains all
rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written consent from the
author. Write Bobby at brokendreamboi@yahoo.com with you comments.


Beautiful Lie 01


"Zac, please come down here and help me!"

"Ay, que pesado!"

"What did you just say to me?"

"Nothing mom," I shouted. "I'm coming."

Great, another visit from family. My mom's parents were coming down from
Colorado to stay with us for Christmas. Of course, this family was
different than the others. Well, actually now that I think about it there
isn't really an emotional difference; just an age difference.

"Zac, sweetie, take the trash out and then lightly water the lawn." she
ordered. My mom is great. She is the nicest person you could ever imagine
unless you piss her off and then you should run and hide.

"Yes, mom," I muttered.

"Why do you have to be that way? Is it the accident?" she asked.

"No...not at all. Sorry mom, but it's just that with grandma and
grandpa being here I can't be myself."

"No, you choose not to be yourself. I'm telling you that they won't
care if you're gay. So, maybe it could be different this time?"

"I don't think so, Kendra." I grabbed the trash bag and walked
outside. It was chilly out, but it's still early so I'm sure it'll heat
up at least a little bit. A cool breeze blew in the air. The sun was
bright and shining gloriously with a few white clouds scattered in the
blue sky.

I turned on the hose and began watering the lawn. Our lawn was one of the
nicest ones on our street. Sure, we live in a private community where
everyone here has a nice house and yard, but mom was an exceptional
gardener. And she loved doing it so it's like hitting two birds with one
stone. As I was watering, one of our neighbors across the street was
checking her mail and noticed me. I like this neighbor, I really do, but
right now I'm not feeling too talk-happy.

"Hello, Mrs. Ibanez." I said loudly.

"Hi Zac, how's life?" she asked nicely. That was one thing about Mrs.
Ibanez: she was genuinely a good person for being an ex-model.

"It has been better. How about you?" I began to feel a bit uneasy
talking about the subject that I'm sure was about to start.

"Oh, sorry I asked. Your mother told me and that is just awful. I really
am sorry." she said. Sensing the tension in the air she quickly changed
the subject to something she loved: herself. "I have been doing the same
as always. Real estate, paying the bills, and feeding my workaholic
husband is just a regular for me now."

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm not married to him." I laughed.

She smacked me playfully on the arm. "We're supposed to baby-sit my
nephew tomorrow and I was thinking about taking him to the fair
downtown." She covered her mouth quickly. "Damn it," she muttered
quietly.

"It's fine, Mrs. Ibanez. Hunter and I had so much fun at the fair..."
I trailed off. "It was the last thing we did together." Remembering
Hunter brought tears to my eyes. I stared at the ground not wanting her
to see my weakness.

"Zac," she said softly. "Zac look at me. We all have moments of
despair. And if we can face them head on that's when we find out just
how strong we really are." She took her hand and wiped a tear away.

"Thanks," I said kind of hoarsely. "I just don't know how I'm going
to get through this. I can't sleep at night. I think that maybe if I had
turned the other way sooner he wouldn't have been hit so hard..."

"Zac stop. The accident was in no way your fault. There was no way you
could have known it was going to happen." she said, leaning forward to
hug me. I dropped the hose and rested my head on her shoulder, sobbing
lightly. She was shorter than I was by a couple inches so it was a tricky
position for me to hold. "Now, get back to your chores, mister."

"Yes, ma'am," I giggled, wiping away the rest of my stray tears.

Mrs. Ibanez began walking away, but then turned around as if she actually
forgot something. "Oh and Zac, it's Gabrielle, not Mrs. Ibanez."

"Yes, Mrs. Iban...I mean, Gabrielle."

I went to throw the trash away after I rolled the hose up. As I was
looking at the trash cans I realized that I haven't cried since...ever
actually. When the news finally sank into me I just turned into this dark
thing. My world was turned upside down violently, but not one tear
escaped my eyes. Ever. Well, all right, maybe a few here and there, but
those were not grief tears. They were just tears of the moment. I still
can't really admit to myself that this happened so how am I supposed to
grieve about it?

When I walked inside my mom was busy putting cookies in tins. Her and dad
were talking and I believe that mom was bickering about the Christmas
lighting contest my dad enters every year.

"Oh no, it's the Christmas lighting contest again." mom groaned. "I
hope you're not gonna go overboard this year. Can't you try a little
subtlety for a change?"

Dad walked in the garage. "Got it covered." He then walked back in the
kitchen with a six foot light up candy cane. Our kitchen, dining room,
and living room are all one big room. The kitchen connected to the garage
and then there was two ways to get upstairs; going through the dining
room or the kitchen. The front door was the only thing that had its own
area, really.

"Oh, Shawn," mom groaned.

"What? They were all out of the big ones." dad said.

"Right. You know I think that this year is finally going to be the
perfect Christmas." mom said.

"Yeah, I think this year I'm finally gonna beat Doc Gennaro." dad said.

"That's not what I mean. I was referring to your brother's family
being here and my parents coming."

"Don't set yourself up like this." dad said. "Every year your parents
come you end up locked in the bedroom going, `Why did I even invite
them?'"

"Dad I hope you don't get your tongue stuck to a hammer again." I
said, walking in the kitchen however dangerous.

"Ha-ha very funny." he mocked. Mom was finishing putting her cookies in
the tins then started washing the trays off. She liked baking things
during the holidays. That's something she is somewhat known for. "You
know what present I'd like your dad to give me, honey? Call me my name
`Shawn' instead of `Hey, you.'"

"Well, if you heard what he called you behind your back you'd be happy
with the `Hey, you.'" Suddenly the doorbell rang. Great, one week with
all this family. Mom ran to do the door, straightened her hair, and then
opened it with a warm smile.

"Hi mom," she said. "It's so nice to see you."

"It's amazing you're seeing us at all. Your father didn't use the turn
signal once all the way from Colorado." grandma said agitatedly. She
walked in and hugged my mom. Dad and I then walked to the front door and
stood waiting for our "love" I guess you could say. "Hello Shawn,
Zac," We both took our turns in getting hugs.

"I didn't use the signal because there was no one behind me, Lillian."
grandpa said loudly, walking in the door with a suitcase.

"Then what was that truck that almost sideswiped us?" grandma asked.

"A big truck like that has no business being on the interstate." he
replied. "Hello sweetheart," My mom hugged grandpa then he looked at my
dad and stuck out his hand. "Hey you," Grandma rolled her eyes. I also
shook my grandpa's hand, but got a more humble greeting.

"That's another thing," grandma started, "your father piled the
presents so high in the backseat he couldn't see out the window." They
both started walking into the living room.

"Well, don't blame me. I wanted to put the presents in the front seat
and you in the back." grandpa retaliated.

"Would you like some eggnog?" mom asked them.

"Oh, no, your father can't eat eggs." grandma said.

"I can eat eggs. I just don't know what the hell `nog' is."

As soon as everyone got settled down, my dad's brother and
sister-in-law, Tim and Nancy, walked in the kitchen with their twin
girls. My grandparents have met them before so it wasn't too awkward.
Grandma was anxious to hold one of them and soon got her wish.

I walked upstairs to my room and laid down. It's only noon, but I
already feel so tired. I guess it's because I haven't been sleeping much
due to my guilt over the accident. Just when I began to drift off, my mom
called me downstairs. I hated going upstairs then being called back
downstairs.

"Yeah, mom?" I asked groggily.

"Do you want to go out to lunch?" she asked. Everyone else was sitting
in the living room having calm conversations.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I said. I ran back upstairs and sat down on my bed,
putting my socks and shoes on. But I couldn't help to lie down on the
bed and close my eyes really fast.

*

"No, Hunter, don't go!" I shouted. "Please, I need you!" Little
beads of sweat started forming on my face as I tossed and turned on my
bed. A murderous scream erupted from my mouth.

"Zac, sweetie, wake up!" mom said loudly. I heard her, but I couldn't
do anything about it. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me in
close to something warmer than I was. Suddenly, I jolted up and started
to pant; I couldn't catch my breath.

"I'll get a bag," dad said. My mom continued to hold me, now rocking
me back and forth as I cried on her shoulder from pain and sorrow.

"Kendra what's going on?" grandma asked. I barely turned my head and I
saw her, grandpa, and Tim and Nancy.

My dad came running back in my room with a brown paper bag and held it
over my mouth. The bag usually helped me; this isn't the first time I've
had a panic attack. My breathing returned to normal and I just enjoyed
the feeling of being cradled by my mom.

"Maybe we shouldn't go out. I'll just make something instead." mom
said. I stood up from her hold and openly objected.

"No," I said. "I need to get out of the house. I am completely fine."
I started walking to get my coat from my closet, but tripped doing so.

"Zac!" mom said worriedly. She rushed to my side and helped me stand
back up.

"Mom I am fine. I just tripped is all." I argued. "Please, I need to
get out of the house.

"Fine, we'll go, but if I so much as detect a sign of faintness with
you we are rushing home." she said.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm going to take a shower then we can go." I
got new clothes and walked into my bathroom. I locked the door behind me
and pressed my back against the door and sat down. That dream with Hunter
was just too much. They keep happening more and more. My guilt from the
accident is such a burden to myself. I can't keep thinking like this,
but I don't really have much of a choice. I killed another human being;
my boyfriend, none the less.

I turned the water on as hot as it could go. I figured that if there was
one thing that could relieve some of my stress then steaming water could
do the trick. After about ten minutes I decided that it was time to go
out into the world I used to not hate so much. I got dressed, did my
hair, then walked downstairs where I was greeted by sixteen eyes staring
at me. I walked in the kitchen for a quick drink of water before leaving.

"How about we go to The Bello Mare?" grandma asked. I spit the water
out of my mouth and looked like a dear caught in headlights. I could see
mom out of the corner of my eye gently shaking her head no.

"We will go to Olive Garden," dad said, saving the day. Everyone looked
at me with curious looks, but said nothing. Thank God for that one. Mom
handed me a towel and I wiped my mouth of the water dripping everywhere.

When I finally walked outside Tim and Nancy had already left. My parents
and grandparents were piled in mom's Murano. The drive there was
relatively quiet. I guess no one wanted to ask questions about my attack
or why I spit water out. Eventually we pulled into the parking lot. Since
I had fallen asleep it definitely wasn't lunch time any more. Now, it's
dinner time considering it is six.

Tim and Nancy already had our table and were waiting for us. As soon as
we sat down I began finding my usual; chicken con broccoli. Our waiter
come and brought us our drinks and...wow. He was really cute. I liked how
his hair was kind of long, not going past his eyebrows, and all curls.
The light brown color accented his hazel eyes and his tan skin perfectly.
He didn't look too tall, but I'm not either so being the same height as
me is always a plus. Man, his face just...wait, what the hell am I doing?
I can't look at anyone else. I'm in a relationship. He took everyone
else's orders then looked at me. I was stunned. His hazel eyes were
locked onto me and I could feel something. Something that I missed.

"Um...I'll have the...um...chicken con...broccoli." I stuttered out.
He gave me a cute smile then walked away.

"So, Zac, how is school going?" grandma started.

"It's going really good." I said simply. She just kept coming with the
questions about my life. The only subject that was steered clear of was
the love category. I really hope my mom or dad didn't say anything to
them about me being gay. After about twenty minutes our food arrived.

"Here you go," the waiter said to me as he set my plate down. He
didn't say anything to anyone else but me.

"Thanks," I replied with a small smile.

Throughout dinner, I was mostly silent. My mind was elsewhere,
specifically on our waiter, who by the way, checked up on us just about
every five minutes. Already I was infatuated with him and I don't even
know his name. The food was spectacular, as always, and I was simply
waiting for "him" to show up and take my plate. Finally, he did show
up. As he took my plate away I tried looking at his name tag. It was hard
to read it without being too obvious, but I got out "Tommy."

"Mom, can I have a pen? I'm bored." I said.

"Sure," she said, digging in her purse then handing me one of her
numerous pens. She and dad and everyone else continued there long
discussion about...well, whatever they were talking about. This stunt I
was about to pull is a bit risky, but I think I can pull it off. I
grabbed a sugar packet and hid it under my napkin. No one saw so I
continued my stunt. I wrote my name and number on the packet then hid it
back under my napkin. The adults finally finished eating and talking.
Grandpa gave his credit card to Tommy who had just walked to the table.
When Tommy brought it back along with a receipt, everyone stood up and
began walking away. I, on the other hand, quickly took the sugar packet
and placed it on top of the receipt holder. Now all I have to do is wait.

As we pulled in our driveway I noticed that there was a car parked next
to our house. At first I didn't recognize it, but the more I thought
about it the more I realized who it was. I quickly jumped out of the
Murano and ran inside. There he stood right in the kitchen where he
usually is.

"Brian!" I said excitedly. I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around
him tightly. Brian is my twenty-one year old brother that went to college
last year.

"Hey little man!" he laughed. I heard the front door open again and
more people walking in.

"Brian!" mom exclaimed just as excitedly as I did. She ran up to us and
gave us a hug. "You said that you weren't going to be here until
tomorrow." Mom kissed his forehead and then let dad move in. They shook
hands and hugged.

"Well, I decided to give everyone a little surprise." he said.
"Grandma, grandpa," Everyone got their hugs in, even Tim and Nancy.

I went upstairs into my room and closed the door behind me. Not ten
minutes later there was a knock.

"Come in," I said, turning away from the TV.

"So, did you enjoy dinner?" mom asked, sitting down next to me on my
bed.

"Yeah, it was great." I replied.

"Hope that waiter calls you tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, crap," I groaned. "You saw?"

"I'm your mother I see everything."

"Then yeah I am kind of hoping he calls."

"What if he isn't even gay?"

"If he calls I guess we'll find out, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I'm going back downstairs. If you want to join us you're
more than welcome too." she said.

I cannot believe she saw me do that. Can you say embarrassing times ten?
What if he does call? I have no clue what I'm going to say. In fact, I
never thought I'd even get this far. Hunter suddenly came to mind. He
was my everything. We were so perfect together. That night we had planned
on going to the next step in our relationship. It was our one year after
all. He was my first hug, first kiss, first make out, first blow
job-given and received. And now he's gone. Forever.

My mind was on overdrive with Hunter and I needed something to calm me
down. I reached under my bed and pulled out XY Magazine. XY has to be the
best gay magazine in the world. Not only did it have gorgeous boys, but
it actually had entertaining articles and stuff. As I was reading my cell
phone rang.

Tommy.

I looked at the number and didn't recognize it, but then his name
appeared. Oh, God, this is it.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi," he replied. "Is this Zac?"

"Yeah, Tommy?"

"Yup," he said.

"I can't believe you called."

"Well, I wanted to find out what kind of person would leave their name
and number on a sugar packet." Tommy laughed modestly. I couldn't help
it; I laughed as well.

"Did you just get off?" I asked, trying to start up a conversation.

"Nah, I got off about a half hour ago, but I've been trying to work up
enough nerve to dial your number."

I giggled. "Congrats on calling,"

"Thank you, thank you," he said in a winning kind of tone.

"Are you gay?" I suddenly blurted out. Shit, what have I done? That was
so stupid. Right when we start talking I have to ruin it with something
like that.

There was an awkward silence before he answered. "Yeah,"

"Really?" I asked in astonishment.

"Really, really," he said. "Are you?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"Wanna hang out tomorrow?"

"Sure!" I said excitedly.

He giggled at my enthusiasm. "All right, where at?"

"Um, I don't know. Wherever I guess."

"How about we hang out at the mall? We can eat and just talk."

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

"So, I'll see you tomorrow around noon?"

"All right, bye."

"Night."

I flipped my phone then set it on my nightstand. All of a sudden I got
this warm feeling that was coursing through my body. Excitement is the
word for it I think. Of course, my happiness only lasted a few minutes.
Guilt suddenly replaced the excitement.

Am I cheating on Hunter?

Life is a journey, one that is much better traveled with a companion by
our side. Of course, that companion can be just about anyone. A neighbor
on the other side of the street or the man on the other side of the bed.
The companion can be a mother with good intentions or a child who's up
to no good. Still, despite our best intentions, some of us will lose our
companion along the way. And then the journey becomes unbearable. You
see, human beings are designed for many things. But loneliness isn't one
of them.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

I hope you have enjoyed the first chapter of Beautiful Lie. I have
recently created a myspace and you can view it here:
http://www.myspace.com/shades_of_wisteria. Feel free to send your
comments, questions, and/or criticism to the e-mail given at the
beginning of each chapter, or at my group at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shades_of_Wisteria/ and write me there, or
you can do both. Either one is greatly appreciated. Thank you!