Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:33:01 -0800 (PST)
From: Bobby <brokendreamboi@yahoo.com>
Subject: Beautiful Lie ch.10

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities are entirely
fortuitous. The story may contain profanity and references to gay sex. If
such content offends you please leave now. The author retains all rights
to the story. Do not copy or use without written authority from the
author. Write Bobby at brokendreamboi@yahoo.com with your comments.


Beautiful Lie 10


I woke up around ten and immediately went to take a shower. When I got in
the bathroom I locked the door behind me then turned the water on the
hottest it could go. Within a minute the bathroom was nice and steamy.
Undressing myself clumsily I unfortunately started thinking about Tommy
and why he betrayed me the way he did. Maybe it was something I said?
Maybe it was the new body spray I got? Oh, I know, it's my hair. Yeah,
it got darker since I'm not outside as much as I usually am during the
summer. That's it! Maybe if I just lighten it he'll come back to me.

The hot water splashing against my body was the most enjoyable experience
I've had in a long time. With shampoo in my hands I massaged it into my
scalp. I put toothpaste on my toothbrush and brushed my teeth slowly.
After I spit the leftover paste out along with getting the last bit of
shampoo out of my hair, I proceeded to use the same strawberry crème
conditioner I've used since two weeks before I met Tommy. So it can't be
my conditioner could it? But maybe he doesn't like strawberries? What if
he likes apples better, or coconuts? Oh my God I need to go buy coconut
conditioner!

I shut the hurriedly shut the water off and began throwing my clothes on.
Boxers, pants, shirt, socks...where're my shoes!? In my room, duh! I ran
out of the bathroom dripping wet with strawberry conditioner still in my
hair. Now that I have my shoes on I can go to the store and win back
Tommy.

As I was running downstairs I ran into Brian. "Hey dude, watch where
you're going."

"Sorry, gotta go, bye!" I shouted even though he was right in front of
me. Before he could say something back I was already running down the
stairs. Of course, I tripped on myself and fell seven stairs away from
the front door.

"Honey, are you okay?" mom asked, rushing to my side.

"No I'm not okay! I have to get to the store!" I jumped up and tried
getting away from her.

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked in a concerned tone.

"I know why Tommy left me." I cried. "He doesn't like strawberry
conditioner obviously so I have to go to the store and I buy coconut
conditioner!"

"Honey, I don't think it's the conditioner. Maybe he has a plausible
reason for saying the things he did last night."

"Um, no, there is no reason for what he said. But obviously I can fix
something. I also have to get hair dye because I need to go a shade or
two lighter. Now I have to go!" I ran outside and into my car.

On the way to the store Tommy's face continued to run through my mind. At
least the store wouldn't be crowded though. It's Friday morning,
ten-thirty, it shouldn't be crowded, right?

Wrong.

Apparently, Target was having some sale today until noon. I learned this
when trying to find a fucking parking spot. Once I finally did find a
parking spot, however, I practically flew inside pushing my way past
people.

On the hair care isle I got lucky, surprise surprise. There was enough
coconut conditioner to feed France. I mean, well, you know what I mean.
The next isle over had the dye and the straighteners and everything else
you could use to spice up your hair. I couldn't decide on which brand or
type to get so I asked the sales associate that was amazingly on the same
isle.

"Excuse me, for my color hair should I get this L'Oreal or Redken hair
color?" I asked politely.

The woman turned around and stared daggers through me. "Sir, I'm going
to have to ask you to lower your voice."

I just stood in amazement. Me lower my voice? I didn't even raise my
voice one level. "Um, I'm sorry, but I'd just like to know which color
I should use for my light brown hair. L'Oreal says that this kind should
be better for my color, but Redken says that this one would be better.
What do you recommend?"

"Sir, if you would wait a moment I could help your properly. Now please
just calm down." she said in an authoritative tone of voice.

Okay, now I'm getting pissed. This woman better pull her head out of her
ass before I really raise my voice; not that it was raised earlier mind
you. So, impatiently I waited for her to finish with whatever she was
doing. When she put the last tub of gel onto the shelf she turned and
looked at me and then just walked away!

"Excuse me, I still need some help here." I said, this time in a more
raised voice.

"I'm busy right now, sir."

Fuck! That's the straw! I caught up to her, spun her around, and grabbed
her shirt by the collar. "I'm through with being polite god damn it! Now
help me choose a freaking hair color!"

"Security!" she screamed. Everyone who was around us now had their
attention completely on us.

"Hey!" That was the only thing I heard before being tackled to the
ground.

"You bitch! I just wanted to know what hair color to get! Oh, you just
wait and see what happens when I get free. I'm going to knock every
single gel tub over!" Okay, give me a break, I had no idea what I was
really saying.

I was quickly carried into the back offices and placed in the manager's
office. Whoever the person is wasn't at their desk. Great, even more
waiting and I'm running out of time to win back my boyfriend. Why
couldn't that bitch of a sales associate just randomly fucking pick one?
I seriously wouldn't have known the difference. I don't even know why I
asked. I guess I just wanted to look my best for Tommy. Today is our
three weeks apparently, but right now I don't see anything special on my
horizon. Hell, I'd be lucky to get off the hook with this crap. I'm so
fucked.

"You have quite a lot of nerve young man." a woman spoke, coming into
the office door from behind me. "Just what in the hell were you..." She
stopped talking and walked to her desk. I sat wide-eyed at who was before
me. "Zac?"

"Mrs. Hammond," I said awkwardly. "I didn't know you worked here."

"Yes, I'm the general manager." she said. "But down to business. What
were you thinking doing that to Barbara Small?"

"Mrs. Hammond, I asked for help with choosing a hair color and she said
I needed to lower my voice, but I was so not talking any louder than I am
right now and so I waited and asked again, but she said that id I'd just
wait a minute she'd help me properly so I waited again and then she
finished and then just walked away so I followed her and asked her for
help again then that's when everything went downhill." I let out an
exasperating sigh when I finished talking in light speed.

"Well, she will definitely be dealt with." Stacy said, flipping through
some files.

"So, um, am I free to go?"

"Not yet," she said sternly. "I need to know something."

I could only imagine what she was going to ask. "Shoot,"

"What is happening between you and Tommy? I haven't heard from you or
seen you in quite a few days."

I looked at her without emotion. I was trying to be strong because I
could feel the emotion building up in my eyes. But Tommy's name, the
memory of his kiss, was enough to burst my dam.

Stacy walked over to my chair and hugged me. "I don't know, Stacy. Erik
happened I guess you could say." I cried pathetically.

"Erik? Erik Johnson?" She pulled away from me in shock.

"Yes, why?"

"Zac, I don't know anything, but please don't rule my son out now. There
are things you might not know about this family."

"Like what?"

"Well, what has Tommy told you?"

"He hasn't really said anything. I mean, he never even told me you
worked here. He's never even said anything about his dad."

Stacy cringed when I said dad. Maybe it has something to do with his dad.
Whatever is going on here is completely going over my head though. But
maybe what happened with his dad is why Tommy is...ugh...dating Erik. I
think my brain is finally starting to kick back on.

"Zac, I shouldn't say anything about this, but...no, Tommy needs to tell
you. It's very personal and he has a difficult time talking about it so
give him a chance. But as for him dating Erik, this could be the
explanation you need."

"Wait, how'd you know he was dating Erik?"

"Shit," she muttered. "I was concerned about him a couple of nights
ago because he was very sulky and quiet. I followed him when he told me
he was going to the mall with a friend. I also got concerned when he
didn't mention your name. I thought he was doing drugs or something.
Anyways, I followed him and then saw him and Erik together."

"When was this?" I asked, astonished that eve she'd go to the lengths
of spying on him.

"I think it was Thursday evening." she said unclearly.

"That's when I spied on him. I almost went and beat Erik's ass." I
said in anger.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't. That probably would have upset Tommy quite
a bit."

"Stacy, why is this happening to me? I mean, I can't figure out what I
did to make Tommy even consider leaving me." I cried softly. Damn it, I
am so sick of crying in front of people. I feel so fucking weak. And I'm
cussing more than ever.

"Zac, this has nothing to do with you. I don't know what it has to do
with exactly, but I'm almost certain it's dealing with Tommy's emotions.
Like I said Zac, there are things you don't know about this family that
you need to know. Just talk to Tommy, Zac, and give him a chance to
explain things." A single tear rolled down Stacy's left cheek. This
family secret must be pretty damn bad. Now I have to go find Tommy and
talk to him.

I talked to Stacy for a few minutes longer before telling her I needed to
get the conditioner out of my hair. She gave me both hair color kits and
the coconut shampoo and told me it was on her. I thanked her then left
and drove home in deep thought.

Right when I walked through my front door mom hugged me too tightly. She
dragged me into the kitchen and made me breakfast while just keeping a
steady conversation. Several times I tried leaving to take another
shower, but she insisted I wait until I ate breakfast. Dad even came out
of the garage (BIG surprise) and started asking me random ass questions.
These questions are like questions you get asked on like prom night when
you take your girlfriend, not that I would ever do that.

"Oh, dad, when is the bachelor party tonight?" I asked him, remembering
that it's Saturday.

"It's at eight, but I thought you and Tommy had plans-" Mom smacked
him upside the head and glared at him. I love my dad, but sometimes his
head is so full of hot air.

"No, he had to cancel." I muttered.

"Oh, well I think tonight we are going to have a lot of fun. Pete was
telling me today that besides us there's gonna be a few other guys he
used to work with, Larry the hardware guy, his brother, and another
friend." dad explained excitedly. In truth, I was hoping I could get
completely wasted tonight. That's really the only reason I'm still going
to go through with tonight. I just want to get thrashed.

"Um, I need to take a shower." I said sadly. Remembering that today was
Tommy's and mine three weeks and knowing we now weren't going to be
celebrating it got me really depressed really fast.

I again turned the water on as hot as it could go. Knowing I still had
conditioner in my hair I decided against washing it again, but I knew I
had to put some shampoo in it to get the conditioner out. Other than that
I just stood there enjoying the water splashing against me body.

Sobs flowed out of my mouth as easily as the water flowed out of the
shower head. What was wrong with me? Why did all these things happen to
me? Hunter promised me he'd never leave me. He lied. Tommy promised me
that Erik wasn't anything to him but a friend. He lied. I'm so sick of
being hurt. But Stacy did say that Tommy might have had a reason for
"dating" Erik and that it might have been because of Tommy's emotions.
I really want to talk to him about what happened to or with his dad, but
that would mean I'd have to call him or go find him. As if.

I got out and dried off completely this time around. With all the
conditioner out of my hair my head felt a few pounds lighter. Speaking of
lighter I have those two hair color kits.

Let me skip the details of the next hour, but all you need to know is my
hair is back to its summer "light" brown; no more winter dark brown.
Now maybe Tommy will realize the mistake he made. Oh, wait, Stacy said it
might be his emotions. I keep forgetting about that.

I dialed a number and pushed send. After three rings the voicemail came
on.

"Hey Tommy, it's Zac. I just wanted to call you and see how you're
doing. So, call me back later if you want." I hung up and felt proud of
myself. I let go of my pain and anger for twenty seconds to make a simple
phone call.

*

"Dad, are you ready to go?" I shouted from the kitchen. "Pete's party
starts in fifteen minutes!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he yelled back. I couldn't help it, I had to
laugh at his choice of words.

"No laughing at your dad. You know it's not nice to make fun of people
like him." mom said sarcastically. She walked up to my and fixed my hair
that was already fixed. "You know once you have to look at it for long
enough that color doesn't look too bad and it looks like your summer
hair."

"Thanks for being nice, but I know it doesn't. It looks completely
horrible." I groaned. I ran my fingers through my hair then fixed
it...again.

"Okay, I'm ready." dad said. He walked into the garage and brought out
a huge wrapped box. I'm throwing myself out there, but I'm guessing
that's Pete's present. "Do you want to drive?"

"Yeah, but we're taking your truck." I grinned smugly.

"Where is Brian? He's supposed to be back from Danielle's by now."

"Here I am," Brian shouted, coming through the front door.

Mom kissed us all goodbye and said she had to get ready for June's,
Pete's soon to be wife, party. Us men went to dad's truck and I drove
us to the bar where it was going to be held. As soon as I pulled up to
Big Jim's Tavern dad and Brian practically jumped out of the truck.

"Damn drunks," I muttered under my breath after they got out leaving me
to go and park the truck. I knew they were just excited to get there
because of it being a tavern. Sure, dad drinks at home, but nothing
compared to how he drinks when he's at a party. Same with Brian, but not
the "at home" part.

I found a spot close to the tavern. I got out and casually walked to the
small building. Tommy's ring tone rang which scared the crap out of me.
But it wasn't a call. It was a text message. Thank God.

"Zac come over so we can talk tonight please." I read out loud. Another
message came after that one. "I love you."

For the time being I had to push Tommy out of my mind and concentrate on
the bachelor party I was about to walk into. The decision of going over
and talking to him was also pushed out of my mind for now.

You know, it's amazing to me how fast I have recovered from yesterday. I
mean, I know I'm not 100% better, but I could be worse right now, right?
I could be at home in my bed just crying my eyes out, but instead I am
continuing my life no matter how hard it is. It's the same way as it was
with Hunter. When I was in the hospital lying in that cold bed and my mom
told me he died I just kind of ignored my feelings. Some weeks later
though I eventually got really bad, but that was a time before my story
started.

Anyways, back to my party time. Right as I opened the door to the tavern
I was greeted by some cigar smoke and loud laughter. Big Jim's wasn't
that big, but it had that homey feeling. There were five or six small
round tables, some chairs, the bar, bathrooms, a foosball table, dart
board, juke box, various sport pictures, and a pool table.

"Well it's about time," dad said, placing his beer down on a table.
"Pete, you remember my boy, Zac?"

"How you doing, Zac? It's been a while since I last saw you." Pete
said politely. He was pretty tall, not too heavy, long beard, long
ponytail, all in all not my type of guy.

"I'm pretty good, Pete. Thank you for inviting me." I said, returning
the politeness even though I really wasn't feeling anything but pain.
"Dad, can I get a beer?"

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen,"

"That's my boy!" dad laughed.

About an hour later I had downed three beers and asked my dad for
something stronger. He only ordered me something stronger on one
condition: I had to clean his truck for the next month. I figured it
wasn't such a bad deal figuring I'm usually the one who cleaned all the
vehicles anyways. So, dad got me something called a Naughty Volcano. I
don't know what was in the drink, but after just one sip I was more
buzzed than I was after the three beers.

The rest of the night went fairly pleasant. Pete ordered another round
for everyone. He also opened the presents that everyone got him.
Eventually the night was beginning to wear on us and a couple guys went
home. Now there was only me, dad, Brian, Alan, John, Bruce, Wayne, and
Pete left.

"So, Lady Astor said to Winston Churchill, `If you were my husband,
I'd put poison in your coffee.' To which he replied, `Madam, if I were
your husband, I would drink it!'" All the men began roaring after that
joke that Wayne just told. I was kind of on the moon so I only caught the
last part, but at least it was funny.

Around eleven I really started getting down about Tommy. I again
remembered all the great times we had in our three week relationship. Oh
my God, speaking of three weeks, it's our anniversary tonight! Tommy
told me he had something special planned. Shit! I began to worry and I
really began getting teary eyed. Now I want to go see Tommy and
just...just be in his arms again. I don't even care about Erik right now.
I just want my Tommy back.

"Dad, I need to go home." I mumbled, pulling on his sleeve. For being
here for three hours, Brian only drank two beers and dad, well, he drank
more than anyone I think.

"O-okay, well let's g-get you a c-cab. Brian w-will just d-drive me
home." he slurred. His breath reeked of alcohol. Mom is going to have a
fun night tonight; unless she is major drunk too.

Brian walked me outside and got on his cell phone. I sat on the curb and
wondered what I'd do when I saw Tommy in the next half hour. My plan was
to just tell the cab driver Tommy's directions and call mom to tell her
I'd be there. Right now, however, I'm not concerned on who knows what. I
just want my Tommy.

"Zac, I already gave the company Tommy's address. That is where you're
going, right?" Brian asked, sitting next to me with an arm around my
shoulder.

"You're great, you know that?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"Any idea on what's gonna happen?"

"Not a clue. I just miss him so much."

"I bet you do. But why did you act like nothing even happened today?"

"I was afraid that if I continually thought of him that I'd just lose
it and do something stupid or even just stay in bed all day and cry my
eyes out."

"Mom told me that that's what you did when Hunter...um...died."

"Yeah,"

"Was it good to do it again?"

"No,"

"I love you, Zac." Brian scooted closer to me and squeezed my shoulder.
It felt nice to have an arm around me. Tommy popped in my mind again, but
I pushed him out again as my cab pulled up. "Give him hell, Zac."

"I love you too, Brian."

The cab driver kind of sucked. He was a bit rude, he drove too roughly,
and kept glaring at me in the rearview mirror. I don't want to be
overdramatic, but I was afraid for my life in that damn cab. So, not only
do I have to deal with going to Tommy's and possibly being crushed, but
this drive to his house could be my last ever. Tears rolled down both of
my cheeks from passion and fear. But once I started crying the taxi
seemed to just fly through town and right up to Tommy's house. I gave the
jackass driver the fare with only a few bucks for a tip and then hastily
got out. The path up to Tommy's porch seemed to last forever, but I
finally found myself pressing his doorbell.

"Damn it, Erik, I told you that if you fucking set foot on my property
again I'm gonna...Zac!" Tommy said while opening the door.

"Hi," I barely choked out. Seeing his face made my eyes burn with tears
even more.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." I said. "Actually, no, I'm not fine. I miss you,
Tommy, and I still love you!"

Tommy jumped into my arms and held me tight. "I love you, too!" He
walked me inside and sat me down on the living room couch. "Why are you
here?"

"I came to talk to you." I murmured against his arms which were holding
me closer than before.

"Well, talk, talk."

"I hate you for what you did with Erik. I was at the mall Tommy I saw
you Thursday night with him. I heard what you said about being
boyfriends. Why would you say that stuff if you love me so much?" I
cried out.

Tommy took a deep sigh before releasing a gentle sob. "It's
complicated. It's so complicated."

"Well, uncomplicate it then! I need to know why you did all of this to
me, Tommy. Your mom told me it probably had something to do with your
emotions."

"Trust me, Zac, I didn't mean any of it and I do love you with all my
heart." he said affectionately. I could tell he wasn't lying to me, but
I thought that before and now look how far its escalated. "When I was
thirteen my mom and dad were kind of thinking about getting a divorce.
They, of course, told me that it wasn't my fault at all, but I always
knew it was all about me. I came out a month before all the divorce stuff
was brought up. Mom was perfectly okay about it. Dad was a different
story though. He told me that he loved me still. A month later, they're
arguing about who gets the dining room table.

"One night when my mom went to work, dad told me to come into his room
so we could have a talk. He started asking me simple questions, but then
he started to become mad and...violent. I don't remember much, but I do
remember him throwing me onto his bed and...yanking my shorts down."
Tommy let out more soft sobs. I knew where this was going and I suddenly
wasn't mad at all anymore. All the anger was replaced with compassion.

"Tommy, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. I'd
understand." I said, placing a hand on his knee. He stood up and went to
the kitchen. A few seconds later he came back with two glasses of water.
He sat back next to me and crossed his legs. He placed his head on my
shoulder and I held his hand.

"No, I need to talk about it. It's been so long." he said softly.
"After he yanked my shorts down and off he started screaming at me to
`shut the fuck up' and `if you're a fag then you're gonna like
this.' That's when I knew for certain that I never wanted to even speak
of my dad ever again. The pain I felt within five minutes was so bad I
almost passed out. I'm actually kind of surprised that I didn't. But
once he was done he told me that if I told mom what just happened he'd
kill me.

"Two days later my mom noticed that I was having trouble sitting down
and it was hard for me to move quickly. She took me to the doctors and
they told her I'd been raped. When the truth of the rape came out mom
went into this rage. She called the cops, her lawyer, his lawyer, family,
and even a coworker. The divorce then took a turn in mom's favor for
obvious reasons and the judge granted a restraining order on my dad of
300 feet. Of course, that restraining order will only take affect once he
gets out of prison.

"I told Erik about this when we met in the ninth grade. A couple months
later he moved. He promised that he'd never tell a soul about what
happened. Me, being the idiot that I am, believed him. The day after he
called me he threatened me with telling you about what happened. I was so
scared, Zac, that you'd leave me and hate me I agreed to his demands. You
must think I'm pretty pathetic now, huh?"

I sat in shock. I was still trying to absorb what Tommy had told me about
his dad then he tells me the incident involving Erik. Many emotions
coursed through my body, but none were as strong as the compassion I
again was feeling.

"Tommy Hammond, I absolutely do not think you're pathetic. You are one
of the strongest people I know. Getting over the rape, being blackmailed
by Erik, you think I'd care about any of that? As long as I know you're
happy and safe, that's all I want!" I said emotionally. I got up from
our little position and kneeled in front of him, grasping both his hands
with mine. "I love you so much and I am so sorry for how I treated you.
I understand why you didn't tell me about that. But as for leaving you
and hating you for it? No way. In fact, I think I love you more right now
than I have in the past three weeks."

Tommy started to cry hysterically. He fell forward right into my arms.
With his face buried in my shoulder I gently caressed his back. This poor
boy had to endure being raped when he was thirteen and all I could think
about was how I feel. And then Erik, oh oh, Erik, he had better just
sense the anger within me and run the fuck out of town. But for now, I am
going to hold my baby and help him deal with his pain.

It's a dangerous world. So we all look for protection. And whether we
find it in the arms of our mother, or at the end of a jagged blade, in
the kiss of our sweetheart, or at the end of a barrel, we do what we have
to to feel safe because we know somewhere in the world there are those
who would do us harm.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *
*        *        *        *

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