Date: Sun, 30 Oct 2005 06:31:12 +0000
From: ube licker <ube_licker@hotmail.com>
Subject: Beautiful Soul - Gay Highschool - Chapter 12

	We stood in front of my dorm room.  The hallways were empty.
Quiet.  We had left the frat party early after the little melodrama between
the two school presidents.  The memory of my conversation with Lucky at the
beach still lingered.  Damien had given me ride back to the school and then
insisted that he walk me to my room.
	"Your plan is working.  Timmy is beginning to actually trust you."
	I think it bothered me that he broke the silence like that.  Though
my hair was shorter now my bangs still nestled close to my eyes.  I was
trying hard not to look at him.  That's never going to happen.  Those words
resurfaced.
	"I'm starting to think that it was a stupid idea."
	He reached both hands for my collar as if to fix it.
	"I thought it was a brilliant idea."
	I shivered and placed my hands on his.  Our eyes met.
	"Why are you doing this?"
	He narrowed his eyes.
	"To support you in helping me get rid of Timmy Montega."
	It was at this point that he leaned in closer.  My back was against
the door and his weight pressed against my own.  I was almost getting used
to the way he treated me.
	"That's not what I meant."
	The scent of the cologne was much stronger now.  I don't know why
but I closed my eyes and wrapped myself in his warmth.
	He gently bit my ear and whispered, "I know what you meant and my
answer is because I can."
	I was able to press my hands against his shoulders, but I failed in
pushing him away.
	"Is this how you treat your other friends?"
	He used my own force on me and pulled my body closer to his.  I
closed my eyes and felt his wet lips on mine.  I felt his tongue open my
mouth.  I felt one hand grab my left ass.  I felt him inhale me.  I felt
the other hand reach under my shirt and rub across my skin.  I felt all of
that and I let him do it.
	"None of them can kiss like you do and none of them have eyes like
yours."
	There was something inside my throat that hurt.  It squeezed and
made my eyes watery.  Why did I let him do that to me?
	"Stop it."
	He put his finger to my mouth and kissed my forehead.
	"If you're ever ready, Ethan, would you let me be your first?"
	My cheeks flushed with redness.
	He chuckled, "I don't know why I just said that.  Forget it."
	I thought he would leave so I stayed quiet.  Damien stared at me
for the longest time.
	"You're not even going to invite me in?"
	"It's late," I replied.
	He nodded and then I did something that surprised him.  I kissed
the tip of his nose.
	"Come downtown with me sometime this week.  We need to go window
shopping for the Haunted Mansion."
	I smiled.
	"Yeah, but it has be after tomorrow.  I have a lot to do.  And I'll
give you your brother's clothes back then."
	"Ok."
	There was that silence again.
	"Goodnight, Damien."
	"Goodnight... and thanks."
	"For what?"
	He smiled.
	"Everything."  <Page Break>
	A rush of pure adrenaline coursed through my body when I had caught
the ball.  It came from the soles of my feet and eventually made its way up
to my finger tips.  The joints that connected my bones snapped into a
sequence and forced the movement of my muscles to collaborate with the rest
of my body.  The sounds a ball makes when it impacts wooden floors echoed
throughout the gymnasium.  They were fast, I'll admit that.  Our
competitors had a cunning about them that made their team almost unique.
And there was always that restless noise that I heard from the crowd, the
kind of tension that people get when their hearts are being wrenched.  It's
an exciting thing.
	When the game was over I quickly showered and changed.  The Dessert
Bar needed an extra employee for tonight and I needed the cash.  When I had
gotten there I was swallowed by the frenzy of customers.  A festival was
coming up and the tourist industry was milking it for all it was worth.  It
was good business for the Dessert Bar.  But that meant longer hours and
hectic shifts.
	I got back to the school past midnight.  There was a short
assignment that I needed to finish.  I looked over the math questions and
sighed.  Variables, substitutions and logarithms muddled through the cracks
of my brain.  I finished it, brushed my teeth, closed the lights, picked up
a book, and pulled the sheets up.  I was half alive. But mostly I felt
dead.  Before I slept I listened to Pierre snore.  <Page Break>
	The two figures stood inside the Gold members' office.  One of them
was sitting behind a desk while the other was facing him with his hands on
the wooden platform of the same desk.  An electric fan sitting near them
attempted to cool off their heated debate.  I could tell that the person
standing up was an older man.  He had that posture about him that could
only indicate an elevation of age.  Also, he was in business attire that
only men of his age would wear.  Hugo Boss?  Eric of the Brown members
would tell me later that it was a single breasted four buttoned blazer.
The faint smell that lightly filled the air was that of Escada.  Of course
I wouldn't find that out till much later.
	"Think about the implications of your decisions and the
consequences of them, Mr. Montega," he calmly suggested.
	Timmy sat back on his chair and gave him a blank look.  The look
someone gives a dog when they are feigning any interest or bother.
	He rolled up his sleeves with his pudgy fingers, "I am not changing
my mind, Floyd.  I know you think that I'm some kind of idiotic reprobate,
but I simply must decline any suggestions you or my father have to offer
about my position as president of the school.  Anything with a vagina
offends me, but so do your tangents about familial obligations.  He's not
even my real father."
	"Not genetically, but -"
	"Let's not get into this right now.  I told you that I made up my
mind and I have more important responsibilities to take care of.  Please
leave and tell my father to send a telegram next time he feels the need to
concern himself with me.  It's much more touching that way."
	The man stood to his full height and placed his hands on his hips.
I sighed.  My father always did that when he lost an argument with my
mother.  I could tell that the man wanted to say more, but he simply shook
his head and grabbed a briefcase that was on a chair beside him.
	"Thank you, Floyd.  Ethan you can come in now."
	How long did he know that I was standing there by the half-opened
doorway?  The man walked passed me.  He had a stoic look and a light beard
across his face.  He wasn't that much taller than I was but he walked
briskly and with force.  Our eyes did not meet.
	"Don't worry about him.  He's an associate of my father's and is
his liaison to the school, my daddy's bitch.  He had a meeting with the
headmaster this morning and just wanted to drop by."
	I nodded and took my seat.  Palm trees swayed behind him through
the window.
	"I have the purchase orders for the Halloween event that you asked
for."
	Timmy opened the folder that I gave him, "Wonderful.  Celly made
several orders and they should be coming within the next few days.  We'll
put them in storage and get the rest of the Brown members and volunteers to
help make the haunted mansion.  I'll make an announcement this morning
regarding that issue."
	A basketball game was scheduled for the next few days and I was
working again at the end of this week.  The fan swept a simulated breeze
that felt cool against the moist skin on my neck.  Timmy continued to talk
about the Halloween event and a number of items that needed to be
addressed.
	"Is there something on your mind?" I asked him.
	He looked at me suspiciously for a second before replying with a
smirk, "It's nothing good porn won't cure."
	Timmy Montega was a mystery to me.  I wondered if he actually
believed that the people he conned would idly sit and watch him take over
so completely.
	"Ok.  If that's everything, I'm going to head to the gym."
	He nodded and made a gesture with his fingers.  I could feel his
hungry eyes on me as I left the office.
	Bobby's morning radio show played throughout the hallways of the
academy.  Students scurried around.  Some were in their sleep wear, while
others seemed ready for the new school day.  I saw Floyd wandering around
the school and thought about his conversation with Timmy.  Snowy had
started the workouts without me.  I smiled.  Someone had asked me to go
into town with them this afternoon.  A part of me hesitated, but I had
agreed anyway.  <Page break>
	He left his football jacket in the backseat of the car.  The
afternoon temperatures were swindling in triple digits.  Downtown Honolulu
was a burning furnace of violent humidity.  Urban wonderers walked in
slower paces attempting to gather around the cool shade of the skyscrapers
that reached up to touch the scorching sky.  They were trying to avoid the
scalding rays of the sun.  I kept my hands by my neck and my eyes to the
ground.  The heavy air swallowed us with it as our feet drudged through the
slippers by our toes.  There was a distance between us.  It wasn't visible
nor was it noticeable, but it was there nonetheless.
	He pointed to a few shops and we entered them with the casual grace
that most tourists lack.  We looked around, made comments, and left.  I
felt small when I walked beside him.  It wasn't the baseball cap or the
expensive jeans that he was wearing that made me feel that way.  I don't
know what it was.  He placed his sleeveless arm on the bare part of my
shoulder on the outside of where the wife-beater ended.  He pointed to
another shop.  I nodded again with my casual grace.
	It wasn't long till we ended up at a pet store.  Little baby
animals slept behind the glass while little children tapped against the
transparent surface with thunderous demands.  Tropical birds squawked in
the confinement of their cages.  Their aquiline features were accentuated
by the colors of reds, greens, and blues.  I passed by the hamsters and
bunny rabbits to take a closer look at the aquariums.  It made me remember
the times my mother would take me shopping in the mall.
	"What are you thinking about?" he came from behind.
	My fingers slid through the cool exterior of the aquarium.
	"Nothing."
	He pressed his head closer to the glass.  His brown eye reflected
from it.  And it was superimposed by the ecosystem within.  It was as if
the eye belonged inside there, glowing and luminous.
	I continued, "My mom always said that she'd buy me a pet one day."
	He kept his eyes where they were and his hands were by his knees.
This position made his shoulders look much larger than they really were.
He licked his lips and bit the lower portion of it.
	"If I get a dog today I'll let you name it and you can come walk
the dog with me whenever you're free."
	The giggling children behind us were becoming rapidly amused by the
snakes and reptiles.  I could still see his eye reflecting from the
aquarium, but I couldn't tell if he was looking within it or at me.
	"Are you even allowed to have pets inside your condo?"
	He laughed, "I don't know, but I also don't give a crap."
	Damien then stood and turned to look at me directly.
	"So should I get a dog today or not?"
	I tried to hide my smile.
	"Good.  Now come with me."  <Page Break>
	We had gotten the call about the barbecue by the beach right after
we left the pet store.  Joe had reserved the spot and invited all the Gold
and Brown members, except for two unmentioned people.  They hadn't done
something like this in a while and they wanted to do it as a cheer up since
Lucky had left the school.  They were with him last night at the airport.
I was working but I felt like we had already said our goodbyes.
	The sun was setting by the time we got there.  I could hear the
sounds of Bobby's boom box and the familiar voices laughing in the
distance.  There was something cooling about the rushing waves that
spiraled by the sands.
	"Damien! Ethan!"
	Joe was holding a barbecue stick and a tong.  Pierre stood a top a
table and performed a somersault in the air.
	"Where have you guys been all day?" Eric asked as he approached us.
	Damien started laughing, "We went into town to look for some ideas
for the Halloween party, but we ended buying a dog instead!"
	I walked pass the two to greet the others.
	Bobby switched a track and asked, "What kind of dog?"
	"A German Shepherd," I replied.
	The vice-president of the gold members pulled out his cell phone.
	"I took a picture of her before we got here."
	Everyone gathered around him with great curiosity.
	Eric climbed over shoulders to see the pictures.
	"So where is she?" he asked.
	"I can't picker her up until I clear a few things with my parents.
But I'm pretty sure she'll be shitting on my bed by Monday."
	 Boo grabbed the cell phone and asked, "What did you name her?"
	Damien's brown eyes followed mine, "Ethan named her."
	The attention was now drawn on me.  I rubbed my shoulder.
	"Dyno," I said.
	After an awkward silence I continued with, "It likes bones."
	They laughed at the corniness of it.  I quickly scanned the
numerous members of the student council to find that both Timmy and Celly
missing.  I sighed.  A large part of me wanted them to admit what they did
was wrong.  Using personal information to blackmail someone may give you
what you want but it doesn't give you respect.  But another part of me had
sympathy for them.  There's always a reason for why people do the things
they do.  Sometimes they're just cold and masochistic people.  I knew that
there was something else there, something that was missing.
	As Damien folded himself into the comfort of his social life I went
to go get some food to eat.
	I was chewing some meat on one end of the picnic table when Eric
patted me on the back, "How's life as a fellow Brown Member?"
	I smiled, "I feel like we have a lot to do in the next few days,
but its good so far."
	His wavy hair flowed along with the breeze.  It made his features
more playful than they already were.  Eric's father owned a trucking
company that transported goods throughout North America.  Eric had first
come out to his neighbor and best friend before confiding anything with his
parents.  Like most closet homosexuals he was scared of disappointment and
rejection.  His father seemed ok with the concept of having a son that had
a preference to the male gender.  It was his mother's reaction that
surprised him the most.  Eric's mom had a certain reputation to uphold at
the Country Club.  It was bad enough that her husband's business was a
lowly trucking company, but now her son had the audacity to out himself as
a `fudge packer'.  Those were her words.  She called him a few other things
and decided that it was only fair that he deny himself his own sexual
identity.
	Eric wasn't a fighter.  Not at first.  He was only fourteen.  His
mother was delighted when he reluctantly agreed.  The brown member fell
into a deep depression in his first semester of high school.  It didn't
help that his best friend had let it out that he was into guys.  That's
when the bullying started.  He came home one day with a bleeding nose.  His
mother finally showed signs of concern and asked him what happened.  He
told her that it was the price for her own happiness.  It brought her to
tears because she finally realized that it should have her blood spilled
for the happiness of her only child.  Eric's parents signed him up for
Montega Academy the following semester.  Though their relationship was
still strained Eric received the best gift that he always wanted from both
his parents.  Acceptance.
	He placed both his feet up on the bench and leaned against the
table.
	"It's good that we have you though.  You seem responsible enough
for the role and Max has gone a little AWOL."
	A frown formed across the curves of my face.
	"That's true.  I haven't seen him in ethic's class lately.  Do you
know if he's ok?"
	After our trip into the jungles of Oahu, Max had been acting
strange.  Maybe it was because of Kyle.  His death was so abrupt.  Or maybe
it was because of D-
	Eric moved his head closer to me and whispered, "Rumors are going
around that Max hangs out at urges now."
	He was mystified with his own words. Confusion scribbled over my
face.  A softer song played from the boom box.
	"Urges?"
	His eyes widened.
	"You don't know?"
	There were a lot of things about the school that I didn't know of.
	He looked around again before saying, "It's something you do not
want to get yourself into."
	The humidity of the day was slowly leaving as a soft island breeze
swept through the beach.  The waves of the pacific rolled over into the
mounds of sand.  Because of the long range of volcanic mountains that
comprise the Hawaiian chain a pattern in the circulation of wind occurs.
This leeward side of the island is where the circulations are more common.
During the afternoon these sea breezes would pick up and then drift back
from land to sea shortly after sunrise.
	A spiraling disc interrupted my thoughts and the questions I was
about to ask.  Eric caught the Frisbee and looked around.  Pierre waved for
him to return it and signaled for us to play.  It was at that moment when I
turned towards his direction that I found Damien talking to one of the
Brown members.  The guy was also from my basketball team.  The football
player leaned in closer and whispered something in his ear.  The boy
giggled at he heard and nodded.  It was their body language that bothered
me for some reason.  The way Damien was standing so close to him gave me a
weird feeling that came from the pit of my stomach.  It was then that I
remembered all the things that people had warned me about.  "Everyone has a
school boy crush on him," Joe once told me.  I think what bothered me most
was that I didn't want to be one of those guys.  Maybe I was just thinking
too much and that they were only having a good conversation.  Why did I
care?  I'm not one of those guys.  It's stupid.  "So are you going to play
with us?"  I looked at Eric for a second before saying, "Nah.  I think I'll
just go for a swim."  He winced and then threw the Frisbee back to Pierre.
"Be careful."
 I walked towards the next table and began to peel off my shirt.  Eyes
glazed over me as I folded my shirt onto the bench.  Damien stared at me
now, not paying attention to the boy he was talking to.  Maybe it was the
reaction that I wanted.  The others were gathered around playing some kind
of card game.  The sand was still warm beneath my feet.  It was getting
darker now.  I came up to where the waves splashed across the land.  The
water was cold and my body began to form goose bumps.  I brushed a few
blond strands from my eyes before running into the water and taking a
shallow dive.  After a minute I adapted to the temperature of the water.
The force of the ocean pushed me from side to side.  When I had gotten out
of the water, I slid my hands to put my hair back.  There were a few
surfers near where I was and the one with shoulder length hair approached
me.  His board was placed in-between his arm and ribcage.  "Hi.  My buddies
and I wanted to know if you've ever surfed before."  I was cold so I
crossed my arms.  "No.  I've never had a chance to try it."  He shook my
hand with a big smile, "Good.  Because there will be an amateur surfing
contest by the North Shore in a few weeks and you're more than welcome to
sign up.  Here's a pamphlet."  I took it from his other hand.  He explained
the concept as a fundraiser for diabetes and was able to coax me into
thinking about it.  I still had a lot of responsibilities but the Halloween
event would have been over by then.  In the end I agreed to sign up online
and that I would come in for a rules and safety meeting a week before the
competition.  I came back to where the others were.  Everyone was sitting
around the table and playing another card game.  After getting the keys to
Damien's car, I changed and came back.  I joined them to play a series of
different card games when Pierre's cell phone rang.  His facial expression
formed a weird look.  It was for me.  "Lee?"  "No.  It's Sophie.  We need
to meet up.  Tonight."  <Page Break>
	After the barbecue Joe drove me to a diner not far from the school.
Damien chose to ignore me for the rest of the night and I wanted to respect
his space.  I sighed.  We were just friends anyway.
	What was interesting about the diner was that it looked like a hut
from the outside.  The parking space was made to look like a dirt pathway
and entrance even hand a wooden authenticity about it.  The inside looked
like any other diner I've been to.  There were several people there and a
waitress asked if I needed a seat.  I told her that I was meeting someone.
	Sophie was sitting crossed legged, staring out the window when I
got there.  Her naked legs glimmered up to where her flesh met her
miniskirt.  Besides being Liam Jackman's stalker, Sophie had another
reputation back home.  Every year we had a spring celebration that included
a parade and hotdogs.  Before the rise of her obsession with my older
brother, she was the town's teenaged beauty queen.  When Mrs. Cassidy would
come over she would show my mother clippings of Sophie's pictures
throughout her adolescent years.  Mrs. Cassidy herself was the parade's
beauty queen at one point in some distant era.  But her pride for the
McKinnon girl faded along with the rest of the town after news of her wrong
doings.
	I approached her quietly.
	"Hey.  You wanted to talk?"
	She seemed startled but motioned me to sit down.
	"Yes.  How are you doing?"
	I pulled the chair out.
	"I've been busy.  How about you?"
	She let out a two second laugh.
	"All over the place."
	I nodded while I sat across from her.
	"What's going on?  Is about the case?"
	I couldn't bring myself to say his name again.
	"Before we get into it, can I ask you something?"
	Her beautiful gray eyes shifted downwards.
	"Do you think it would be wrong of me to ask your brother to – I
don't know – to have a bite or maybe just for coffee..."
	I reached for her wrist in an attempt to comfort her.
	"He has a girlfriend now."
	She nodded, "I know that.  Old habits die hard, huh?  Maybe I just
really want to make it up to him somehow."
	I studied her features to see if she was being honest.
	"Sophie, just let it go."
	She looked at me with an inquisitive expression on her face.
	"It's hard."
	It was only a second before she looked as if she regretted what she
had said.  I thought about something my parents would say.
	"Even if he has forgiven you, he may never feel the same way you
do.  And if you really care about him then you'll respect his space."
	I was telling her what I was trying to do with Damien.  I didn't
know it then but my situation was different from hers.
	She smiled, "Thanks.  I guess a helpful reminder is always
healthy."
	I nodded.
	"So what else did you want to talk about?"
	Her facial expression became serious.
	"I want you to be my eyes and ears in the school.  Will you do it?"
	It took me a second to figure out what she wanted from me.  And it
took me another second to think it over.
	"Of course I will."
	She seemed satisfied with that answer so she leaned in closer.
	In a low voice she said, "Good.  Now I can tell you about the
traces of a drug we found during the autopsy of Kyle's body."