Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 17:15:03 -0400
From: Dabeagle <dabeagle@nycap.rr.com>
Subject: Begin Anew 12 HS

	I was going to kill him when I saw him. Grounded for two weeks
cause he couldn't keep his mouth shut! Can you believe it? I mean, it was
bad enough having his mom walk in on us, but when he wanted to know what
the big deal was and the argument that ensued was, well, eventful. The
thing is, his mom is right in a way, cause we do need to be careful, but
she didn't have to burst in on us for one thing, and for two why does
everyone think all we do together is have sex? In the time we've been
dating we haven't gone 'all the way', no matter what I read it seems like
it'll hurt and I think I can wait for pain.
	Anyway, that was on Saturday. Sunday brought more strange stuff,
and all I can do is wonder why it is happening to me! Ever since I came
here it seems like I'm a perpetual motion machine, first with Kyle, then
with Chris, and finally Casey. You know, the one I'm going to kill?  I
think I'll kiss him first just so I don't taste the blood from his split
lip! So anyway, I hung out with Kyle all day Sunday and it was just
awesome. We took his dad's canoe down to the reservoir and paddled around
in the warm sunshine. At one point we just drifted, I read a book and Kyle
dozed. I had to wake him, though, cause he snores. Loud.
	"Book any good?" He asked after regaining his senses.
	"It's ok, I guess. I'm having a hard time getting into it." I
replied.
	"Cris came over last night, wanted to talk." He said casually. My
senses went on full alert. I felt like the starship Enterprise or
something.
	"Oh?" I replied evenly.
	"Yeah, I guess he and Grant have kind of hit the wall. Or
something." He said. I waited.
	"I guess maybe they're going to break up." He said looking at me.
	"That sucks, any idea why?" I asked.
	"No, not really. All Cris could say was he was just getting this
feeling that Grant wasn't there all the time. Like they'd talk or something
and Grant just wasn't keeping up or contributing."
	The water lapped up against the side of the canoe and I considered
this latest development. Grant, although accepting, hadn't pursued
Cris. And when we talked at the lake he really wasn't sure about the whole
thing. Could it just be doubts complicating his mind? Or was it deeper than
that? More, why was Kyle telling me? And why did he think they would break
up?
	"But what makes you say that you think they might break up? " I
asked.
	"Well, it was Cris's tone of voice, you know? It sounded like he
had given up on it, like he was giving the last of what he has and he can
already see it won't be enough." Kyle hesitated, "He says that he feels
like Grant's hiding something or just not telling him the whole story. I
don't know it's all just weird I guess."
	I contemplated this information, not that it was any of my
business. I wonder if Grant is still struggling with this relationship? My
stomach rumbled loudly and we decided to head in. We went to my house where
we found Chris, asleep on the couch, McDonalds food packages on the coffee
table, and I had one of those terrible wonderful ideas. I grabbed the
camera from the drawer in my father's desk and crept back to the living
room. Kyle looked at me questioningly; sure I was up to something.
	I grabbed a few stray French fries and inserted them ever so slowly
into his nostrils, which was made easier by the fact that he was breathing
through his mouth. I then picked up a stray pickle slice and a part of a
tomato slice and covered his eyes. I stepped back and Kyle was
sniggering. I knew I had better snap the picture now, or risk getting
tickled for nothing, so I aimed the camera and....snap!
	Chris let out a loud snore and kept on sleeping. We giggled and
headed for the kitchen, half running, and exited through the back door
where we fell to the ground howling with laughter. We lay on our sides and
just when we thought we could stand again, one would giggle and we would
both be off again.
	"If you think that's funny, try this!" Chris roared from the back
porch. We turned to see him, special sauce ringed around his eyes before he
let loose with the squeeze ketchup and the mustard. Yellow and red
streamers flew towards our position and we scrambled to avoid the aerial
condiments and close in on Chris at the same time. We got him, and before
you could say 'look at the mess you made!' we were all three a complete
mess, giggling madly and wrestling for control of the near empty ketchup
and mustard containers.
	When we finally stopped to catch our breath, our clothes were
ruined and we were covered in condiment shit. We decided to call a truce
and get cleaned up. I went in the shower first, and wouldn't you know Chris
wasn't done. I heard the second bathroom's toilet flush a second before the
ice cold water flew from the showerhead. Jesus, that was cold, that
asshole! I finished quickly and then Kyle got in. I filled a pot with water
after he got out and Chris headed for the bathroom, having locked the
second one so I couldn't do an instant replay. I emptied the ice trays into
the pot of cold water he assumed I was going to cook with and snuck into
the bathroom. Steam poured from the stall and I stood on top of the toilet
seat and poured the pot over the top!
	"Ahh! You asshole, that's fuckin' cold!"
	I ran from the bathroom and began to cook, satisfied that we were
either even or the ball was in his court. Kyle had started the washer as
soon as Chris was done and was telling me Sheila had gotten a traffic
ticket the other day. I was trying to hide my look of shock, but he must've
seen it cause he gave me a big grin.
	"Would you believe she couldn't understand why she got a ticket?"
He smiled ruefully.


	After Kyle went home I crashed in my room, I was pretty tired and I
turned on the CD player, one of my napster discs, and Long Day by Matchbox
20 came on. It had been a long day, but it was a good day too, unlike the
day in the song. I was drifting comfortably into taking a nap mode when my
ears picked up a rapping at the window. I looked over lazily and saw Grant
peering through the window at me. I groaned inwardly as I knew I was about
to be drawn deeper into the rift growing between he and Cris. I sighed and
got off the bed to crank the window open for Grant. He hoisted himself in
and slid through the open window.
	"Hi." He said with a shy grin as he stood and straightened himself.
	"Hey."  I said as I flopped back on the bed and propped my head
with my hand, "What's up?"
	"Ah, well not too much I guess. Um, I was just wondering if we
could talk?" He asked shyly in that manner of his that made him so
desirable.
	"Sure dude, what shall we elucidate on?" I asked with a grin.
	He crossed the room and sat down on the end of the bed, and I slid
myself into a sitting position with my back up against the headboard. He
looked at his hands for a minute before he gathered himself to speak.
	"I wanted to talk to you about this cause of a couple of
reasons. One cause we have talked before about...stuff. Plus, lately, it
seems like everyone but you are looking at me like I'm a piece of
meat. It's like since I got some nice clothes so many people want to talk
to me and be buds and now girls think I'm cute all of a sudden."
	"Well, you do clean up nice." I said with a grin.
	He smiled easily, "Thank you. It's true that I do take more pride
in how I look, but I'm really still the same guy inside."
	"I know that's why we like you. You one of the most real people I
know. The way you dress and do your hair and stuff just augments what was
already there."  We sat in silence for a minute before I spoke unsure of
myself, "Is that what you wanted to talk about?"
	"No, not really. Kind of, but that's not the whole thing." He
sighed and then continued slowly.
	"Cris is really in love, and I like him to be happy. No I really
need for him to be happy, he has been such a good friend to me for as long
as I can remember, before anyone else would be. He never made an issue of
the things I didn't have, the material things. He's true blue, you know?"
	I nodded in assent.
	"But this dating thing is all new and, well I am afraid I'm hurting
him and driving him away all at once. See, I love Cris with all my heart;
every fiber beats for him but...I really am not sure about being attracted
to him. I know it means so much to him, and I feel awful because I feel
like I owe him for all he's done. But am I being worse because that feeling
just isn't there? Shouldn't I just be honest, I mean that would be less
painful in the long run wouldn't it?"
	Oh boy.
	"Grant, ah. How do you feel when you guys are together?"
	" I feel great, he makes me feel like I'm the center of the
universe. No one else matters or is remotely important if were together."
He replied simply.
	"Ok, and have you guys...messed around at all?" I asked, trying to
be delicate.
	"We have, um, kissed and stuff like that. Nothing more than that
and a cheap feel or two." He said, blushing a bit.
	"And how do you feel when you have this contact, and how do you
feel about the contact?" I asked.
	"Well, that's where it gets complicated. I like the feeling, and I
feel almost ok cause I know its Cris and he'd never hurt me for
anything. But at the same time, I don't know. With all these people paying
me all this attention sometimes I think about them and I wonder." He looked
down at his hands, "I know it's all superficial. Cris loves me for who I
am, for whatever it is he sees inside me that only he sees whether I'm in
K-Mart specials or all this new stuff from all these stores that I could
never go into before."
	"I'm a little confused, " I began, "You came out at the town
meeting as being gay, do you feel differently now?"
	"I don't know that's part of the problem. No one ever paid me any
attention before, and I do love Cris. But with so many people showing me
new sides of themselves...I start thinking maybe I feel things for them
too. But I don't want to hurt Cris, Justin. That's why I can't talk to him
about this and I think he feels something is wrong, I can't hide anything
from him." He swallowed hard and finished quietly, "I'd rather die than
hurt him, Just."
	Oh man, this is at least as bad as I feared, but it's kind of what
I just went through with Casey too about my feelings towards Grant. But
should I tell that story? Would it do more harm than good to know I looked
at him like so many others? I think I'll back up ten and punt.
	"Grant, um, as far as how you look and stuff I think your
forgetting that the physical changes are the stuff people notice right
away. And even though your the same guy inside as far as your a good
person, strong heart and a kind soul, you have changed most inside where
only people that have known you a while can see the difference."
	"What difference?" He asked honestly.
	"Well, for one thing, would we be having this conversation two
months ago? Leaving out the group home rules I mean. Probably not, because
you didn't talk to too many people. I never knew you were such a deep guy
until you opened up to us, and you have done that a lot. You joke with us,
it's like you were born all over again or something and you have shown us
all these great things about yourself. But you have, like, so little
experience a maybe that's a problem. Like with Cris, a relationship takes a
lot of work and part of that is communication." I hesitated because I hate
giving advice. They say it's free but it's not really because if you give
good advise then they come back for more, and if your wrong they might not
come back at all.
	"I think you really need to tell Cris what you feel. He loves you,
your right about that, and you'll work it out." I smiled.
	Grant sat looking at me and I began to grow uncomfortable under his
gaze.
	"You know something? You've changes our lives in this little
backwater town.  All of us, and what's more you did it for the
better. Thanks, Justin." He said and moved to my end of the bed and
embraced me. I'll be honest, it felt great.
	The CD was playing through 'Black and White People', another
Matchbox 20 tune and it seemed especially relevant in two ways, once for
Grant and Cris, and once for myself and Grant.

And if it's just that you're weak, can we talk about it?  It's getting so
damn creepy just nursing this ghost of a chance The fiction, the romance
and the Technicolor dreams Of black and white people

	So rarely things were black and white, always shades of gray if you
ask me. Of course the truth of a situation and the truth that can be
observed from another point of view can be wildly different.

	Cris walked unhurriedly down the sidewalk, humming to himself. He
was worried about the situation with Grant; things just weren't going the
right way. Not that things were necessarily bad, but something wasn't
right. He thought that talking to someone would help, and he was sure that
was what he needed to do. He had tried to talk to Grant, but he just seemed
to not be there these days. They had made some progress; Grant was a great
kisser, although Cris was biased admittedly. Lately Grant had really come
out of his shell and folks at school were noticing him a lot more than they
ever had. He hoped he wasn't pushing him too hard, but that's what this
trip was about, Justin and Casey seemed perfect together so he'd ask Justin
what he thought. He approached the side of the house and lifted his hand to
rap on the window and stopped dead.
	Cris couldn't believe his eyes. He had stood by Grant through so
much and he knew something was wrong, but this? How could this be
happening? Didn't Grant realize how much Cris loved him; couldn't he hear
his heart breaking even now as he watched through Justin's window to see
the boy he loved wrapped intimately around someone he thought of as a
friend? Cris turned and walked away, unable to deal and having no safe
target to strike out against he resorted to the Cris of old, and pulled
every feeling inside and placed it in a small shelf in his mind. He tried
that anyway, but this time it failed. He had opened his heart to Grant and
the stabbing pain was unmerciful. How could they do that to him?
	His heart flew into a trip hammer beat and the tears started to
flow freely. H shook himself and pulled together for the block and a half
to reach Kyle's house.  He rang the bell unthinkingly and was relieved that
Kyle answered the door.
	"Cris, what's wrong?" He asked voice full of concern. Cris walked
past and sat heavily on the couch whereupon he lost all control of his
emotions and let his heart bleed and his eyes tried to wash away the
impurities of the pain in his soul. Kyle sat down next to him, a fact he
was dimly aware of. Sheila emerged from the kitchen and crossed the room to
Cris.
	"What's wrong?" she asked him in a no nonsense tone.
	Cris could only give into his breaking heart's demands; he sobbed
uncontrollably as each detail hit home. He had taken a horrible risk in
just sharing his love with Grant, he had given him his heart and what good
was it to give away your heart, all you had, if it had no place to go and
be safe and wanted? He had done everything in his power to persuade others
to help his secret love, and now? He had not expected to gain his romantic
love at any time; it wasn't even a matter of feeling like he was owed. No,
he was owed enough to be treated with respect and be told Grant wasn't
interested rather than being cheated on and finding out by accident. And to
think he was going to talk about the problem's he was having with Grant to
Justin, in the hopes Justin would talk to Grant for him! They had obviously
talked already, and once again he started spiraling down into sadness and
was overcome with the reality of the situation that his body took matters
into it's own hands and shut down, putting Cris to a merciful, if fitful
sleep.

	Kyle was worried to say the least, and his first thought was to
call Grant, but he wasn't home. He was sure they must have broken up,
especially the way Cris was looking right about now. Cris was seriously in
love; this wasn't going to be easy. As he contemplated what to do there was
another knock at the door, and Chris let himself in.
	"Hey, what's up man? Want to go shoot some hoops?" Chris asked
before spotting Cris on the couch in his disheveled appearance. "What
happened to him?"
	"I think he and Grant broke up, I was going to wake him up." Kyle
replied solemnly.
	"Maybe you should let him sleep? He's obviously upset, the rest
might do him good." Sheila said.
	Kyle considered this but was spared making a decision as Cris
stirred on the couch and opened his red-rimmed eyes. Sadness shone through
his face like a shroud.
	"Cris, are you okay?"
	He shook his head no. He took several steady, calming breaths
before speaking, and as he did it came out haltingly. He looked directly at
Kyle as he spoke.
	"You... You remember me saying Grant and I were having
some... Trouble communicating?" Kyle nodded. "Well, I knew something was
wrong." A stray tear raced from his left eye and he wiped it away quickly
with the palm of his hand.
	"I have been thinking a lot about things between us, I was thinking
maybe I pushed him too fast, maybe he had too much going on, maybe he was
doing it out of gratitude or ... or sympathy.
	So I went to talk to Justin about it, I thought maybe he could
help. Talk to Grant for me. But when I got to the window, I saw that they
were already talking, and they were holding each other. Justin stole him
away from me!" He burst out in tears again and Sheila encircled him in a
comforting embrace.
	Kyle and Chris looked at one another in amazement at the
news. Could it be possible? Could Justin do something like that?

	The more Cris thought the angrier and hurt he got, the more
betrayed he felt the more he wanted to strike back and even the score. He
left Kyle's house with promises to call later on, and from there he decided
that there was one other person who needed to know, who might want to have
some say in this.


	I was lying in bed after Grant had left and feeling pretty good
about things I guess. Besides Casey being in trouble things were pretty
good, Grant had figured out a huge issue and that was that he needed to
communicate with Cris and just about anyone else that was important to
him. So when the phone rang I just knew it was Case, it had to be! Things
were just rolling along.
	"Hello?" I asked.
	"Hi."
	"Hey, Case. What's up?"
	"Nothing. What did you do today?"
	"Went with Kyle for most of the day out on the reservoir with his
dad's canoe, got into a condiment war with Chris. Oh, and Grant came over."
	Case grunted, "What did he want?"
	"Well, I guess he and Cris are having some trouble."
	"Did you fuck him?"
	"No, we...What did you say?" I asked incredulously.
	"I said, did you FUCK him." Casey said with barely restrained fury.
	"Case, what are you talking about? He wanted to talk, what the hell
is this?" I said getting angry myself.
	"I said you weren't dead, but I guess you thought that meant you
could just do whatever you want huh? Did you ever think about me? It isn't
fair, Justin, what you've done." Case sobbed loudly, "I can't believe you
did this. Don't you know I loved you? Wasn't I good enough for you?"
	"Case, we talked! That's it, why would I go after him? Of course I
know you love me, I love you too..."
	"Don't tell me that! How can you cheat and then tell me you love
me?" Casey screamed into the phone, "You told me you wanted him, did you
forget? Was that a warning that you were going to cheat on me?"
	"But we didn't do..."
	"Cris saw you through your window, he saw you holding him you lying
bastard!" The phone slammed down in the cradle.
	I was stunned. Cris saw us hug? Oh my god, he must think that was
just the beginning. I have no proof, what can I do? I dialed Casey's number
right back and got a busy signal. Damn, he took the phone off the
hook. Damn! I was honest enough to tell him what I was feeling and now he's
using it against me! So much for being honest with him. It seems it really
is true that trust takes a lifetime to build, and just suspicion to tear it
all down. I leaned back on the bed and felt the first tears start to
fall. Damn, my heart was going to break again.

	Chris dragged his feet on his way back home, toes making trails in
the dust. How weird was this? He was sure Justin hadn't done anything,
would never do anything like that. Even so he had to admit it didn't look
very good. He just hoped cooler heads prevailed and no one did anything
stupid. That idea was blown away when he walked into Justin's room a few
minutes later and saw the red-rimmed eyes and nose that was red from the
rubbing of tissue across the skin. Chris decided not to play dumb or to
patronize his friend.
	He looked at Justin and, call it weird, but he knew he didn't do it
just from looking at him, he was miserable yes, but he was angry as well
under the hurt, that much was plain and no one could read Justin Corcoran
better than Chris Taylor. He went and sat on the edge of the bed and looked
at his friend.
	"Want to talk about it?" He asked.
	"I don't know what to say, it's all been so stupid. I guess you
know already, since you not asking me what's wrong?"
	Chris nodded.
	"Jesus, word moves fast. Well, have you judged me yet?" Justin
asked. Chris winced at the tone of voice, but he guessed the fire had to
burn out somewhere.
	"Sorry, I am just so angry and hurt, Chris, it's not fair. I admit
I think Grant's hot, I even discussed it with Casey, and I was honest
damnit! And we went through the whole thing and it was ok. Now Grant shows
up cause he and Cris are having trouble and he wants to talk to me, so I
talked to him. He hugged me. He left. But does anyone else believe that?
No! My boyfriend thinks I screwed Grant, Cris thinks I screwed Grant, I
have been convicted and I'm still a virgin! If I am going to lose my
boyfriend I think I should have at least gotten a blowjob!" He ranted until
he seemed to realize what he was saying and sat down heavily on the bed.
	"He broke up with me, Chris. He hates me, and I still love him so
much."
	The phone rang and Chris went to answer it. Justin watched
hopefully from the bedroom door, but Chris waved him off.
	"Hi mom. How are you?" Chris asked cautiously.
	"I'm ok, Chris. How are you holding up?"
	"I'm ok."
	"Chris. Son, I'm sorry for the things I said. Even though your
father had so many faults, we were very much in love once. He wasn't always
like that and I have held onto that memory, maybe too long now. But you
didn't have to pay for it, I am so sorry." She began to sob.
	"Mom, no, it's ok. Please don't cry, it's ok." Chris could feel
himself tearing up.
	"No, I need to say this. You did nothing wrong, baby. You did what
every mother should be proud of their child for doing and I'm sorry I
wasn't myself, I'm sorry I wasn't your mother when you needed me to be."
	"Mom...Mommy please stop." Chris sobbed.
	"Chris, the hospital called. Your father dies tonight." She said
softly.
	"Oh god, oh no, why did this have to happen? Oh god. Are you ok
mom?" Chris asked through his great heaving sobs.
	"I'm ok, sweetie. I called and made reservations; we'll be there in
a few days for the funeral. So I'll see you soon, ok? I love you honey."
	"I love you too mom." Chris said as he hung up the phone and felt
Justin wrap his strong arms around him, his friend there by his side once
again.


	I was so sad for Chris I totally forgot about my problems as I held
him and rocked him until he finally fell asleep in my arms. The next few
days were hectic to say the least; I called Casey about four times and
finally got his mom. She was kind of frosty with me, but I told her it was
for Chris's dad's funeral and she softened up and finally put him on the
phone.
	"Hello?" He asked in a very surly, but II have to admit, hopeful
voice. Did he miss me?
	"Hi Case. Um, look I know you're pissed at me, but Chris's dad
died. I was trying to call you cause I thought you might want to go to the
funeral for Chris."
	"He...He died. I see, wow. Um, how's Chris taking it?"
	"He's pretty upset. Look, if you want to hate me and not talk about
this that's between you and me, but Chris is still your friend and I hope
you'll go. For him." I said evenly.
	"Yeah, I'll go. For both of you." He said.
	I softened. "Case, nothing happened, I swear. I was honest enough
to tell you I was attracted, and I don't want this to end."
	"Maybe we should talk somewhere, you know, after."
	 "I love you Casey" I said and hung up the phone.

	Chris's mom and sisters arrived and there was a pretty good round
of hugs and tears. They would stay with us for six days, and I wasn't sure
I could survive the twins that long! Chris's spirits seemed a bit better
with his mom around, and I guess I wasn't too surprised to find he would be
going back with his mom at the end of the school year. With Paul gone the
danger was past, and I'd be separated from him again. You know it's funny;
love has many facets, many different faces. My love for Chris and Kyle was
very different from my love for Casey. I think I love Grant too, but that
has changes as well, and it's not love like I have for Casey. In more ways
than one I was losing something of myself to know he was leaving, that he
would be such a great distance away from me. That he would not be
accessible, and though we still had time together it made me sad. As much
as Casey filled a void in my soul, Chris filled yet another.
	I know there's folks out there who think I'm pretty dense, well, ok
just about everyone! But I think it's more than imagination that
Mrs. Taylor and my Dad are making eyes at each other. It suddenly dawned on
me that she wasn't wearing her usual garb, you know, muu muu and such and
that it seemed as though she'd lost weight. Coincidence? I think not.
	The third day they were here was the day of the funeral. It was
small, but all my, actually, all our friends were there to support
Chris. Ashley showed up with Geena, which was a surprise of sorts cause we
had found out Ashley has diabetes and had been a little sick lately. Bu
there he was, big as life. And Geena, holy cow that chick could dress! One
by one they filed into the church, and I was a bit surprised Casey sat next
to me. Grant showed up and sat to one side of me, Cris at the other end of
the pew. Apparently no movement there.  Casey sat a few rows behind me, so
I couldn't se him well. My heart was aching for him as well as for Chris.
	The pastor kept the sermon short and we were adjourned to the
cemetery in short order. After the pastor had said the his final words
Chris stepped up to the front of the crowd, rose in hand to drop on the
casket, and he spoke loudly to the crowd of support that had turned out for
him.
	"It would be easy to think my father was an awful man, god knows I
have reasons to hate him. Many of you have reason to hate him for the way
his life was lived at the end. But I will remember my father, as he was
when I was younger, before life wore him down and he became bitter. You
see, he wasn't always like this. Once he was a good father who came to
watch me at little league and pop Warner football games. Once he loved me,
and my family. So I will choose to remember him that way." His voice slowly
dropped and he walked to the edge of the casket and began to sing in a
clear, melodious baritone as he laid the flower on the casket.

	"In the arms of The Angel/Fly away from here >From this dark, cold
Hotel Room/And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the
wreckage/of your silent Reverie, You're in the Arms of The Angel/May you
find some comfort here

We filed by, tear streaked faces and said goodbye to a man who had lost his
way. I walked towards Cris and he wasn't quite fast enough to turn away
from me. I caught his sleeve and simply held him in place as he tried to
leave.  "Leave me alone." He said sullenly.  "Cris, just listen for a
sec. We were friends, and I'm begging you, for that, just listen." I
released his sleeve. He didn't answer but he didn't try to leave either.
"Cris, you're a good and loyal friend and I wouldn't do something to hurt
you. I know you and Grant were having trouble, that's why he came over. To
talk, and we did talk. And he was grateful, and he gave me a hug. I won't
lie, it felt good, he's a good guy and he loves you. But there was nothing
else. I swear."
	Cris eyed me and looked at Grant who was last in line to file past
the casket. Tears stood in his eyes and he tried to blink them away as he
tried to speak.
	"You... You guys didn't do anything?" He asked, voice laden with
desperate hope.
	"Just talk, Cris. He's very confused and the last thing he wants to
do is hurt you, Cris."
	"What is he confused about?" Cris asked.
	"That's for you guys to talk about, communication you know?"
	Grant was watching us as he walked form the casket and hesitated
only a moment before approaching us.
	"Hi." He said shyly.
	"Hi, um, can we go somewhere and talk?" Cris asked. Grant gave him
a small smile and they walked off together. How do you like that? They
didn't even say goodbye! I smiled as they walked away and silently wished
them the best.
	I walked towards the cars and saw that many had left, but my dad
was waiting for me. We rode in silence to the house where food was set up
and people milled around. Most left early and finally the house was
empty. I went into Chris's room and sat on his bed, looking at all the
stuff that made up who he was, his posters, his playboys under the
mattress, and the pictures on his nightstand. There were two, one of his
family along time ago, mom and dad behind the three small, smiling
children. The other was of he and I when we were about nine at the public
pool. We had one towel stretched around us both and we were mugging for the
camera. I smiled as I remembered the day, so warm when there were no clouds
to be seen. Even then we were the best of friends, and now? Family I think.
No, I know he's family. He came stumbling into his room to find me there
looking at the picture.
	"That was a good day, huh?" He asked as he plopped on the bed next
to me.
	"Yeah, the best." I agreed.
	"Looks lie my family is sticking here for another week. I think our
'rents have the hots for each other." He smiled, but in that 'oh yuck' kind
of way.
	"Eww. You men we might actually end up related?" I asked in mock
horror.
	"Yeah, we can't have sex if were brothers you know." He grinned.
	"That would be way too weird!" We laughed.

	We talked for a little while longer, and then I headed for bed.  I
sat down to read, with the window slightly ajar to allow a cool breeze to
run through the room for a few minutes. Not long you understand, the desert
gets awful cold at night and the wind can really whip stuff up. I stretched
on my bed and reflected. I wonder if my dad will hook up with Chris's mom?
I could take living with Chris, but his sisters? Oh Christ! Well, you took
the good with the bad I guess.
	I was drifting a bit when I heard a voice singing, it was Casey! I
knew it. I leapt from my bed and to the window, cranking it all the way
open.
	"Casey!" I whispered fiercely, "Get over here!"
	He came out of the shadows singing softly as he did.

	"Some day out of the blue In a crowded street or a deserted square
 I'll turn and I'll see you/As if our love were new
 Some day we can start again, some day soon"

	"I want to start now, Case." I said plainly. He came in through the
window, and, well breaking up is hard to do, but the making up? That is
sweet. And I found out it doesn't hurt that much.