Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2010 01:49:56 -0400 (EDT)
From: jacobmillertex@aol.com
Subject: Beneath The Mask: Chapter 8

{Beneath The Mask is pure fiction. I am above the age of 21 as I am writing
this story. Any similarity to any other events, names, or life events is
pure accidental. If you are under age, (according to your state laws as a
minor), if this literature is offensive to you or to anyone around your
viewing area, or it is illegal for you to view such content where you are
reading it, stop reading the story.  This story can't be reproduced or
distributed in any way, shape or form without my expressed consent.

I would like to say thanks to my editor who volunteers his time not asking
for any thanks for his work. On behalf of the readers and myself, I say
thank you anyway!}


Written by J.P.G.


		Chapter 8

RECAP SO FAR:

In Chapter 7 the time line of events might be a little confusing. As I
wrote up the story I jumped around from point of view to point of view. One
moment one character is doing one thing and then the next time we meet up
with the character, he is doing something else. I am going to take this
time and hope I can clear up the time line for you and me.

As we all know in chapter 6 as it ended Alex got stabbed and Carlos went
running after the person that did the stabbing. I picked up on that point
in Chapter 7. We find out who it was that did the stabbing and how bad it
was.

Pretty much all that is clear from Mr. Henderson firing all the guards that
he thinks is on the take to arresting some of them. Officer Jackson made a
deal with Carlos to let him stay in Building "A". In that deal he will be
able to keep seeing his girlfriend, just no outright sex. Also he won't be
put in Building "B". All Carlos needs to do is keep Alex on the straight
and narrow. They are very worried that due to the stabbing, Alex might
retreat back into his gang life full time.

Matt and Carlos become friends in the time Alex is in the medical wing. Not
best friends I will say they become, but friends. They hung out together,
leaning on one another for support. Carlos realizes why Alex seems to like
Matt so much. As it is, Carlos has no idea it is because of love between
the two.

Now here is where the time line gets little confusing I believe. One moment
Alex is going into the medical wing being stabbed. He gets put under in
order to get his first surgery. This is his first surgery done by the
medical staff that is working at the detention home.

Now we know Alex is awake and trying to talk to everyone around him. He
hears people talking. He also feels them as they do things like needle
pricks, touching him, or just looking into his eyes. But the staff doesn't
know this. He's not fully conscious.

This goes on for two days. On Tuesday one of the nurses tries to place in a
needle to start a new IV line. She can't seem to find the vein. She asks
for help, but was told to keep trying. Well, she misses the vein
altogether, and the end result is Alex system shutting down do to that. He
gets rushed in and gets his second surgery.

Of course Alex's mom is notified about what is happening to her son. She
rushes down to be by her son's side. Remember in chapter 6 Jacob hires
Alex's mom. She started working on the day when the stabbing took
place. That is how Jacob ended up on the scene.

Jacob and Mrs. Garcia rush down and do what ever it takes. In the mean time
Jacob calls Dr. Whitmore, his doctor, to meet him down at the detention
facility. When they arrived, they were basically told to get lost. We all
know Jacob and he doesn't `get lost' on anything so he meets with
Mr. Henderson and gets his way.

Dr. Whitmore takes over as Tuesday afternoon and places his own staff on
Alex's care and treatment. On Wednesday Dr. Whitmore brings in Dr. Mitchell
to consult with him. Remember in "Jacob Finding His Way", back at the
beginning, Dr. Mitchell did the gun shot wounds and spinal injury on
Jacob. Dr. Whitmore is the expert on cancer but knows regular medicine as
well, and that is why Dr. Mitchell got brought in.

On Wednesday Alex has his third and final surgery for now. As Alex recovers
from the last surgery, he keeps thinking about his past. We all do that
when there is nothing else to do. So that is why we see Alex back in the
past when he was in fifth grade. He is dreaming this whole thing.

Now I don't want to give much more away. As we start this chapter we will
be back to when Alex thinks he left one dream and went to another. You
might be asking still is where is Alex at this time. I will tell you the
day, which is Friday. But where, you must continue to read in order to find
out. Here we go you all!

(MATHEW'S POINT OF VIEW)

I finally get myself to sleep after I think I see Alex in his bed. I don't
know when I did get myself to sleep, but it couldn't have been long when I
am woken up again. I hear yelling, followed by whimpering, and then yelling
again.

At this point I know it isn't a dream. I look over to Alex's bed once
again. That is where the yelling is coming from. I see someone in the bed
tossing and turning. I thought at first the guards put someone new in my
room.

Right away I jump out of my bed. I want to see if there is someone new
sleeping in Alex's bed. If that is the case that means Alex didn't make. I
don't know what I am going to do if Alex didn't make it.  I walked over to
Alex's bed to see who was laying there.

At first my I can't see a thing it is so dark in the room. I need to give
my eyes a chance to get used to the amount of light in the room.

I decide to walk even closer. At this point I am on top of the person lying
below me. That is when I see the face. I actually go weak in the knees and
fall to the ground on my knees. All I can do is look at Alex laying there
in the bed. For the last week I have wanted to be with Alex and couldn't
be. Now he is here with me once again.

Why didn't Alex wake me up when he got into the room? He should know by now
I would do anything for him. I'll stay by his side all night long to make
sure he is safe. But Alex being Alex thinks of me first, before himself.

I sit there watching over Alex as he tosses and turns, yelling in his sleep
and then whimpering. This goes on for over an hour before he settles
down. Whatever he is dreaming has to be really bad to get him going like
this. I read somewhere it isn't good to wake someone from a nightmare or if
they are sleep walking. It hurts them more than it helps them. All you can
do is watch over them and make sure they don't come to any harm.

Just as I start to doze off again Alex starts yelling! I jump up and start
to rub my hand across his face. I try to reassure him that there are people
that care for him. There are people waiting for him to be ok.

All I want to do at this moment is wake him up and let him know that I am
here and he can lean on me for anything. But I know it will hurt him more
than help him so all I can do is sit here, make sure he is safe until he
wakes up.

(ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW STILL DREAMING)

I want to get out of this nightmare, the nightmare that is actually my
past. Who would have thought of a person thinking of their past calling it
a nightmare? I never would have thought that in my life.

I keep trying to get free, trying to fight back but there isn't any use
fighting it seems. All I can do at this point is cover up and try to
protect what I can. If my father wants me dead, it won't be long now and he
will get that wish.

As I attempt to protect my face, all I can do is scream out in pain once
again. I close my eyes, holding back the tears that started to form. I
start yelling in pain and somehow I got up. When I open my eyes again,
everything is dark.

Then I felt someone grab hold of my shoulders. There is a voice piercing
through the empty darkness of where I am! I think I have left one dream and
gone into another. The voice tried to reassure me.

"It is ok Alex, I am here. It is ok Alex, please look at me. Open your
eyes, you are not dreaming anymore. I am here Alex, open your eyes" I keep
hearing over and over.

Slowly I open my eyes and look around. From what I can make out, it looks
like I am back in my room in the detention facility. As my eyes start to
focus, I look around to see who is actually grabbing my shoulders.

I let go of the air I am holding in once I see it is Matt holding me. Once
I see Matt, I let go all of my defenses. I fall into Matt's arms, crying
like a little kid. I haven't cried like this since was four or five. At
least that is the last time I can remember being allowed to cry by my
father.

You see, when we got old enough to talk my father told each of us we
couldn't cry. If we did it shows weakness. It shows that we were not men,
but girls. Simply put, my father would have disowned us if we showed any
kind of weakness like that.

As those memories went through my mind, I got control of myself. I stopped
crying, gathered myself, and looked at Matt. He looks confused by my
behavior. He actually looks confused and hurt at the same time.

"Matt, it isn't anything you did. I was brought up that a man isn't
supposed to cry. I can't cry and show weakness. If I do that, I am for sure
dead."

"I understand your upbringing Alex, but it is only you and me here right
now. I will never do you any harm. You need to trust in me that I am here
to protect and help you in anyway I can."


(ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW)

I look at Matt, feeling pretty bad about myself for crying. I know Matt
isn't the kind that tries to get things on people to use it against them. I
really want to be more like Matt, but each time I try, this little voice
keeps telling me it isn't what I have been taught to do.

I leaned back into my bed to relax. My back starts to hurt where the stab
wound is. Matt moves off the bed when he sees I am in pain. He actually
looks kind of scared. Poor guy; he doesn't know if I am coming or going
most of the time.

"Alex can I ask you a question? If you are still in pain, why did they
release you from the medical wing this soon? It hasn't even been a week
since your stabbing, and here you are. Don't you need to be near the
doctors?"

I look at Matt and see he is really very concerned. There is no way I am
getting out of this without telling him the truth. I need to be truthful
now with Matt if this relationship is going to survive.

"Well, if it wasn't for Jacob, I wouldn't be here. Jacob is a guy I made
live in hell for close to two years. Now he seems to be my guarding angel!
He keeps coming when the chips are down. I really don't know how I am ever
going to pay him back.

I was stuck in my own mind until Jacob brought his doctors in. They saw
what the problem was and did surgery on Wednesday. I woke up Wednesday
evening as if I only slept for a couple of days straight through. When I
woke up I had a major pain in my back.

By this morning I couldn't stand being in there. I was cranky and throwing
things around. The longer I stay in bed, the harder it will be for me to
get better. So the doctor agreed to let me come back in here. I promised to
get seen once a day by the nursing staff of Dr. Whitmore."

"Wow that is something Alex. So you are in pain, but you'd rather be here
instead of being looked after in the medical wing?"

"Why I made the decision that I made is simple. The longer I stayed in the
medical wing, the more it makes me look weak. The more I look weak, the
more chances there are for members of my gang to try and push me out. No, I
can't risk that.

The one thing I need to do to live in here is to never show weakness no
matter what. My father went to extremes to teach me that. Because of that,
I will never forget his teachings."

Matt looks at me as he gets up to head back to his bed. He doesn't say a
word for a few minutes. I think what I just said is hard for him to get his
head around. If you haven't lived through what I lived through, you won't
ever understand it.

"So Alex, your dad believes that no matter how badly you might be feeling
you can't show it? Forgive me if I am talking out of line here, but that is
bullshit. I rarely curse, but that deserves my cursing. You can't go
through life thinking that way. The teachings of your father are wrong and
got you where you are today. If you don't stop living by them, you will
never get out of this life," Matt said somewhat judgmentally.

It hit me wrong and I snapped back; "What the hell do you know Matt? Walk
one day in my shoes. In fact walk one hour in my shoes. That is the only
way you can see where I coming from. You didn't grow up in my house. You
didn't go through what I went through as a kid.

What I know of you it seems to me that you had it easy. In fact you have
never mentioned why you are here. If it wasn't for the one mistake you made
in your life, you would be out there living the good life.

Grow up in my household. Fuck my household. Let me make even easier for
you. Try to grow up in my neighborhood. See where you would have been
instead of the one mistake you made. Trust me you wouldn't be the sweet
Matt you are today."

I got up from my bed with the pain shooting up and down my back, but I
didn't give a damn. Matt has never spoken down to me like he is doing right
now let alone questioning me and what I have been taught. Doesn't he know I
know it's wrong? I know it is my dad's teachings that got me where I am
today. Still, I don't need some white bread kid that has had everything
handed to him, telling me I'm screwed up.

I make my way toward the door. I need to get out of the room. If I don't
get out now I will say what I am thinking and if I do that, I will never be
able to take it back.

"Before you start judging me Matt, find out what I have been through. See
that I have had no choice but to adopt. What was pushed down my throat as I
grew up? The beatings, the broken arms, legs, nose, and face bones. All
that and more was done to me just by my father! That was his way to teach
me how to be a man.

No, don't ever fucking judge me again. What I do in my life is not by
choice. It is the only way I will be able to get out of here and see the
light of day. Trust me I want to walk out of here in order to see that
light of day; not in a pine box."

I opened the door and go out slamming it behind me. There is no way I can
sit there and listen to someone speaking out of place like that. If it
wasn't Matt, I would have slammed his face into the wall for disrespecting
me like that.

I have no idea where I am going, but this pain is killing me. Somehow, I
make my way to the dayroom without running into a guard. That is weird that
there aren't any guards walking the hallway. I might be able to use this to
my advantage one day.

Once my head hit the arm of the couch I was out again. This time I didn't
dream anything. There was nothing good or bad, just a peaceful sleep till
morning. When I woke up, I found a guard standing over me.

"Mr. Garcia, what are you doing out here instead of your room?"

"Well sir, um, I was in pain last night. I kept getting up and down from my
bed. I didn't want to wake up my roommate. So I decided to take a walk. I
found myself walking over here, so I decided to sit for a while. I must
have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, whatever. Just get to your room. If I find you in here instead of
your room, you will be walking to the hole. Trust me you won't be
comfortable in there."

I nodded my head as I walked back to my room. On my way back, there wasn't
a person awake yet. That surprised me but I don't even know what time it is
right now. So I shouldn't seem surprised at all.

When I walked back into the room, I found Matt awake at his desk. It looks
like he never went to sleep after I left. I am still in no mood to pick up
where we left off. So I ignored Matt and headed straight to my bed. Just
like in the dayroom, the minute my head hit the pillow, I was out.

The next face I saw was Carlos's. I know it isn't a dream, I only wish. No
it is his ugly mug looking over me trying to shake me awake. I finally just
give up trying to get anymore sleep and just get up. I look at Carlos still
trying to wake up completely.

"Man I didn't think I would see your ugly mug when I returned. How in the
world are you so lucky? I heard what you did, and normally that earns a
person a free ride to lockdown and then to Building "B"."

"Oh are you telling me you don't want me around? I can go and ask to be
taken to lockdown if you wish," I replied in a wise ass tone.

Carlos playfully punched me in the arm. I start to laugh grabbing for
him. Just as I reached out, a shooting pain shot through my body. It caused
me to sit back grabbing at my back at the same time.

"Hey man did I do something to hurt you? You know I didn't mean to do
anything to cause you any pain man," Carlos said in deep concern.

"No you didn't do anything Carlos. I need to keep in mind that my back is
being kept together right now by staples. Trust me; they don't give you
much moving room and once you pop a staple out, you are a goner in pain," I
said letting him off the hook.

"Well without a doubt you have more injuries than I ever will. I never
envied you when were growing up, and I still don't," Carlos said with a
sense of deep understanding I wish Matt could share.

"I need your help Carlos. I am still pretty weak right now. I just needed
to get out of that medical wing before I went crazy and I can't afford for
rumors to get around that I am down for the count. I am barely hanging on
right now as it is."

"Name it Alex you know I will do anything for you."

I explained to Carlos on how I felt at the moment. Explaining to him that I
will need him to walk on my side at all times in case I start to fall
over. If it looks like I am about to fall over, I need him to hold me up.

Carlos agreed without even thinking about my request. He helped me get
dressed before we went to get breakfast. We ended up being one of the last
in the line. After getting our food, we made our way to the table.

All the way over, everyone just looked at us. Each time I would look at one
of them, they quickly looked towards their food. Just like anyone, they
want to see what is going on. There's nothing wrong with that.

When we reached the table, the guys moved out of the seats facing out to
the cafeteria. While I am laid up, Carlos made it clear that these are our
seats whenever we are around. They are the only seats that protect our
backs. You know the wall?

Matt not only didn't say a word to me, he didn't even look up at me. If I
lost him over this, it is a price I am willing to pay. I can't blame him or
those at the table. Still I let my guard down talking to them, sitting in
the wrong seats, and not paying attention and I paid a dear price for that
lack of attention.

Carlos and I didn't join the guys playing basketball. I really can't afford
to do that right now anyways. We took the time to discuss what needs to be
done about Bobby. What he has done can't be left unpunished.

"Alex, there is no question or discussion about it; Bobby must die for what
he did to you. He tried to take you out, and that's the end of it. If there
is someone else involved, he will need to tell us before we kill him,"
Carlos said stating the well known policy of the gang.

"Carlos where is he right now? There is no way he is still here."

"No they already charged him with one count of attempted murder and sent
him back to County. The only way we can touch him right now is by reaching
out. For that you will need to get your father involved."

"That is going to be a problem Matt. When I was in the medical wing,
Mr. Henderson came up to talk with me. He told me my father took over the
prison where he is at. Now they are in their own battle there. So I can't
reach out to him for anything right now. Yet, I can't let Bobby think he
got away with it," I said pondering my options.

"Well if your father is out of commission right now. Doesn't it lie to you
to control everything here in El Paso? There has to be someone over all in
control of everything in each city when the main guy is out of commission."

"That I don't know to be true. I really don't want anymore responsibilities
right now. The more I try to control, the more I am a mark. No thanks to
that Carlos. Right now I need to get a kite to County. What we need to
decide is what needs to be said on that kite."

We sat there deciding what to do with Bobby. One thing is for sure; just
killing him is too easy. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of
becoming a name in gang that took a chance on killing me. No I want to take
the one thing from him that we hold as our most valuable property. That is
our manhood.

So it was decided. Carlos will write out the kite, show it to me before
sending it out. Once County receives it, it must be carried out. Even if I
am not next in command, whenever an attempt on a leader in shoes is done,
the request must be followed to the "T".

Just as we finished up with the details, a guard walked up to us. At first
he didn't say a word, he just stood there. Finally he spoke up.

"Alex I am to understand you are the one in charge in here now. If that is
the case, all orders must be cleared through you before I carry them
out. Is that correct Alex?"

"I looked up at him and then down to his name plate. Once I read the name I
knew it. It is one of the names that were given to me by Samuel. That means
Mr. Henderson didn't get everyone that he should have.

"Danny Castro I have been told you are one on our side. I thought we lost
almost everyone when your boss went on the rampage last week. How did you
get through and the others didn't? I need to know because I am not about to
get set up here," I said with total distrust in my voice and body language.

"First you are right. I am on your side. My boss didn't have enough to get
me out. Yeah he brought me in, but all he could do is threaten. I normally
keep my hands clean, but that isn't the case anymore. I promise it will
change real soon. I have several other guards ready to take the place of
the ones thrown out," Officer Castro reported.

Carlos and I just looked at each other. I thought we were finally done with
all this shit. There is only one guard to answer to and that is
Jackson. Now this Danny Castro character is still around wanting to carry
out my orders.

"Look I know you want to stay on here. That is probably the main reason you
kept your hands clean. I need to be for sure you are willing to do what
needs to be done. I can't afford anything getting back to the higher ups;
your bosses."

"Look, give me a task that you need done. I will get it done. A task no one
else has gotten or knows about. That way if my bosses bring you in you'll
know I can't be trusted. Trust me I know the long arm your father has. I
don't want to be on the receiving end of that arm. I have seen what he can
do," Castro said with conviction.

"Do you have any contacts or a way to get a kite into the county jail?"

"Yes I know several people that work along side your gang. I can get
whatever order you need over there. Just write it out and it will be done."

Carlos gets up and tells him to meet up with us in a couple of hours. There
is going to be a message that needs to be delivered. It will all be
explained when the kite is handed to him. With that Danny left Carlos and I
alone.

Time goes by fast when you are not looking at the clock. We headed into the
building shortly after the guard left to get lunch. After lunch Carlos and
I decided to stay indoors instead going outside with the others.

(ROBERT'S POINT OF VIEW)

I am being escorted to the Building "B" by several guards. Just as I get
used to one place, I get pulled out. I know I am sentenced to juvenile
detention, but I thought they forgot about me. It took them almost two
months to get me here.

When I walked up to the desk, one of the guards handed the guard at the
desk my folder. He looked through it looking up at me every so often, as he
looked at my paperwork. All I want is to go to lockdown to stay safe.

"Mr. Turner I see you come to us from County, where you were in
lockdown. What it doesn't say is why you were in lockdown. Are we going to
have a problem with you in here? Are you part of a gang? It isn't listed,
but I need to ask due to you being in lockdown. There is a reason why you
were there, but I can't force you tell me."

"Um, sir, um, can you just put me in lockdown here please. I would prefer
it!"

"Mr. Turner we have very few cells that we can use for lockdown. Right now
many of them are occupied. The last ones I have I need to keep in case we
need it for disciplinary reasons. Are you going to take one of them up?"

I just looked at the guard at the desk. I couldn't stop shaking. I can't
tell him the real reason I was in lockdown. If word gets out in a new
place, I am a dead man walking. I just better take what ever dorm they send
me into for now and hope for the best when I get there.

"No sir, you don't have to use any of the remaining cells on me. I will go
wherever you send me. I won't be a problem. Nor am I part of a gang."

"Sounds good to me; we will send you into Building "B" to start off. We
normally don't take in any new inmates on a Saturday, but we had to make an
exception this week. We had fallen behind due to the issues beyond our
control."

The guard explained to me the rules and handed me several booklets with the
rules in them. He told me briefly how things work. Any questions I can ask
any of the others in there. They will have no problem explaining anything I
can't understand.

After the guard explained everything to me, he took me down to the room
where I am assigned. I couldn't believe it wasn't dorms. I was told it was
going to be dorms, not a two to a room set up like this.

When we walked in I saw my roommate for the first time. He looked like he
is in a gang. More so the very gang that chased me into lockdown in
County. I hoped to have left that behind in County. It doesn't look like
it.

Before we go any further let me tell you why I am here and who I am. My
name is Robert Turner and I am fifteen years old, about to turn sixteen. I
am from a broken home. My mother and father split up, and I was there only
son.

They fought over me like there was no tomorrow. I started to figure out
they were using me to get back at each other. So I decided I can play the
same game. I rebelled against my parents. In return I broke the law several
times. I know there are hundreds upon hundreds of kids with the same story
and they didn't break the law like I did.

I got arrested for the sixth time this last time. Each time it was for
something worse than the time before. The judge kept warning me if I appear
in front of him again I will regret it but each time he put me on probation
with more community service hours to do.

I really thought that is what the judge was going to do this time. When I
showed up in court this time, there was a different judge. He didn't look
to happy after the District Attorney told him all about my past. I can
still remember the words he said to me.

"Mr. Turner this court gave you many chances to put your life
together. Each time by you come back in front of this court it is like a
slap in court's the face. I am nowhere like the judge that sat on this seat
before me. One chance is all I give, not six.

I don't care to hear how your parents are or what they are doing. You had a
choice to leave those homes and you chose to stay there. You also had the
choice to follow what the court laid out for you to do, and you chose not
to. To top it all off, you broke the law again that brings you in front of
this court once again.

No young man, I need to make it very clear to you this time. You need a
taste of how it is if you choose to continue down this road. I am
sentencing you to the Juvenile Detention Facility for no less than six
years or your twenty first birthday; whichever comes first. Trust me when I
say you don't want to come back in front of me again."

That is when I realized I had no more chances in life. Either I take this
situation and fix my life, or I will spend the rest of my life going in and
out of prison. There is no way I am gong to do that.

As I waited to get down here I got placed on the fourth floor of the County
Jail. About half of that floor is for juveniles. They can't put us in the
same cell with adult offenders. But at the same time they can't send us
home after being sentenced and waiting for an opening at whatever facility
we are being sent to.

The cell they put me was pure hell for me. It is run by a local Mexican
gang tied in with the Mexican gang in the prison. They run the whole show
in County. They make it very clear and make sure that you understood that.

I will never forget the first day I arrived. It was late and I didn't know
what to do. So I put my mattress on the floor and went to sleep. I was
woken up the next morning by the gang. It was breakfast time and we all
needed to get up no matter if we were going to eat or not. That is when
they did their count.

After breakfast I was pulled into the room where the main boss was at. He
always meets with the new guys as they come in. I sat down on the bunk
across from him. He sat there asking me questions about why I was there and
what I plan to do. Things like that.

Each time I answered him he got mad. He didn't like the way I talked. He
felt I talked to smart for him. He told me to stop using big words that he
didn't understand. I tried, but I just couldn't catch every word coming out
of my mouth.

He finally got tired of telling me to stop using big words. He got up
walked over to me. I thought he was just coming to sit next to me. He was
coming over to sit next to me, but he came over to do something else.

He asked me another question, I answered in the only way I knew how. Before
I finished answering the guy he slammed my head against the brick wall. He
kept his hand on my head, smearing it hard against the wall saying over and
over again to stop using big words that he doesn't understand! If I keep
using them, this will happen every time.

We finished talking. Before he excused me from the room, he slammed my head
against the wall four more times. I never thought I used big words in my
vocabulary but I figure to him I was.

Every morning those that didn't belong to the gang had to get up and clean
he cell block. Each of us had to clean a certain part of it. I had to clean
the three metal toilets everyday. I couldn't stand the smell by the time I
requested to be put in lockdown.

If we ever made store we had to give a part of it to the gang leader in
there. It was called paying our rent. In fact they would give me a list of
things they needed me to buy each time I filled out my order slip. It got
to the point I was spending over half of my money paying their rent.

Those that didn't make store, they had to do extra duties. That is the only
way they paid their rent. I rather pay it by making store than giving some
of my meal to them. Bad enough what we were served couldn't adequately feed
a five year kid, let alone us.

One night I was caught looking at another guy in the cell. Right away they
went running to the leader about what they had seen. I was called into his
room to answer the charges. Of course I denied it, but it didn't matter to
him. His mind had already been made up.

About a week or so later our cell block was put in lockdown. They found a
hole in the wall that was being used to bring in drugs. They cleared out
that room and put everyone in the other three rooms and locked us down.

That evening when they served us dinner, we had to get out of the cell, get
our tray and go back into the cell. Once everyone was back in the cell they
locked the doors. We ate, slept, and used the one toilet in that cell all
day long. We weren't allowed into the dayroom.

Normally they either serve us our meals on plastic or metal trays along
with plastic forks and spoons for us to eat with. When they come to pick
everything up, they count everything. They better get every fork, spoon,
cup and tray back or hell is going to happen to us if they don't. That
night they served us on metal trays.

That day I was sentenced to this place. I wasn't too happy about it. I
didn't know the order had been given to teach me a lesson. As I sat there
eating my dinner. Several of the gang members walked up behind me.

I didn't even know they were there until it was too late. One of them
grabbed my head as the other one grabbed my tray. The one that grabbed my
tray started hitting me in the face with it over and over again. They
didn't stop until I was bleeding all over the place.

Once they stopped, the one holding my head slammed it against the
table. Then he hit the button to the guard station. When the guard
answered, he was told to come and get me; that I started hitting myself in
my face over and over again.

The guards actually didn't believe their story of events. But because I
didn't say a word about it, they couldn't do anything to them. After being
patched up, they put me in lockdown for my own protection.

Now we are here back in population once again. I am facing a guy that
reminds me of what had happened to me. He has the tattoos that the others
had. They wear those like medals. That is how I know this guy is part of
the gang.

"Carlos this is your new roommate Robert Turner. Robert Turner this is your
roommate Carlos. If you have any questions please ask him or any one in the
building. He will help you get settled, won't you Carlos?"

The guard looked at Carlos and then walked out of the room. Carlos extended
his hand to me. I went to shake it, but I was shaking the whole time. I
know he saw it and seemed to get a kick out of it.

"So tell me Robert did you come from the free or from County?"

"Um..., the County Jail."

"Oh then you came from the fourth floor then?"

"No sir, um, I was there at first, but I was moved to the eighth floor."

"Wait the eighth floor is the lockdown floor. You either requested to go
there, or you were put there. Which one are you? Did you request to go
there or were you put there because you caused trouble or needed to be
protected?"

I just looked at Carlos. I know no matter what I said, he can find out if
it is the truth or not. My nightmare is starting all over again. Just then
another guy walked into the room without even knocking.

"Carlos my man I see your door is open. Did you get what we
discussed... Wait I didn't know you got a roommate Carlos. We can talk
about that business later. Why don't you introduce your roommate to me?"

"Yes Alex this is Robert Tuner, Robert this is Alejandro Garcia."

I have heard that name before. Where have I heard that name before? Oh
shit, this is the main guy. Son-of-a-bitch this is the main guy. I started
to freak out. I wanted to get out of this room so bad right now.  Through
the fear I actually peed all over the floor where I stood. I could see that
Carlos wasn't happy about it.

"What the hell Robert? Why didn't you go down to the bathroom if you needed
to use it instead of going here? Now you are going to have to clean this
mess up," Carlos yelled.

I couldn't move at all with Carlos yelling at me. As he yelled at me I
couldn't help myself, I started to pee once again. These two are scaring
the crap out of me. I just want to get out of here, please let me just get
out of here.

(ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW)

"Carlos, stop yelling at the kid. You are making things worse. He is
terrified of us. That is why he is doing what he is doing right now. I
certainly can understand why he is so scared of us."

I looked at Robert. The poor kid is shaking like crazy. I heard what had
happened to him while he was in County. The cell leader got an ear full
when he didn't get permission to carry out the deed. No matter what, the
guy needed get permission.

"Look Robert why don't you go and clean up. Put your stuff down on your bed
and go and get cleaned up. I promise you that what happened to you in
County won't repeat itself here. You know you can take my word on that.

I know you know who I am. The guy that ran the tank you were in never got
clearance from us to do what he did. He was dealt with once we found out. I
don't care about your past. You are safe here, so don't be afraid."

Robert just broke down right in front of us. He hit the ground shaking,
rolling up in a ball. He actually lay down in his puddle of urine. He
didn't care about nothing more than to protect himself. All I could do is
look over at Carlos.

"Don't touch this kid for anything. He is under our umbrella of protection
while he is in here. It is the least I could do after what had happened to
him in County. Whenever he is ready, help him out Carlos."

"Is this the kid in Tank 405? You know, the kid that got caught looking at
another cellmate in there?"

 "Carlos please just do it for me man. The poor kid didn't deserve what had
happened to him. No matter what we do from here on out, it is going to be
hard for this guy to trust anyone of us. Just respect and do what I ask
Carlos."

"I will do as you ask Alex, but what about the others. Once they find out
he is here, they will want a piece of him."

"He will be ok as long as he is in this building. It is only you and me
here. The rest are in Building "B". I will get the order over there that
this guy is to be left alone. He is now under our protection so hurting
him, it is the same as if they hurt one of our own. You know what happens
when that happens?"

Since Matt and I are not speaking. I pretty much hung out in Carlos room. I
am sure Carlos has noticed, but won't ask what's up. He knows better to
question me about whatever I am doing. Matt needs to learn that.

As I headed over to pick up Carlos for dinner, Robert finally made his way
to his bed. Someone cleaned up the mess on the floor. I wouldn't doubt it
that it was Carlos. One thing about Carlos is that he is a very clean
guy. He can't stand any sort of mess at all.

I looked over at Carlos as I walked in. That was after seeing Robert on his
bed curled up in a ball. Since I normally cause others to be like this, I
don't know how to get them to trust me after the fact.

"Robert, it is time for dinner. Carlos and I would like it if you join
us. You can meet our group of friends while we eat." No movement from
Robert at all. "Come on man you can trust us on this. If you don't leave
the room, the guards are going to think something is up. None of us want
that at all."

That got Robert's attention. He crawled out of bed and waited at the
door. He just stood there with his head down. Man we really did mess up
this kid. No one deserves to be treated like crap. I now see the end result
of the crap we do.

"Hey Robert man I know there isn't a thing I can say to get you to trust us
overnight but you can't walk around here like this. You are just painting a
target on your back so don't trust us until you are ready. Until then, look
up, be proud and don't worry about anyone. We will have your back."

With that Carlos and I walked out of the room. Robert followed right behind
us as we made our way to the cafeteria. After grabbing our dinner, we
introduced Robert to everyone at the table.

Once we started talking, Robert came out of his shell a little. It looks
like he likes Matt. He will talk to Matt whenever Matt asks him a
question. I think that it's pretty damn cool that Robert is at least
opening up to one of us.

(STEVE'S POINT OF VIEW)

I'm sitting at the table watching the new kid talking to Matt. I find it
weird that Matt isn't really paying any attention to Alex today. All day
long those two haven't hung around each other. That tells me that there is
something defiantly up with Matt and Alex.

The minute Alex got here, you couldn't separate those two. Now that Alex is
back, they aren't talking. It leaves me to believe that Alex might be
thinking wrong about Matt. I think he thinks Matt might be involved in this
whole stabbing thing.

I need to get with Alex and talk with him and let him know that Matt had
nothing to do with the stabbing. In fact, Matt wouldn't know one thing
about the gang members unless Alex himself told him.

After dinner I see Alex sitting in the dayroom watching television. First I
need to get through his guard dog, Carlos. That isn't going to be an easy
task. Before the stabbing it was hard. Now it is even harder.

Just as I expected, the minute I got close to Alex, Carlos stopped me. He
demanded to know what I needed to talk with Alex about. If I tell him the
truth, he might not let me talk with Alex. I need to think on my feet
quickly. I need to come up with something.

Right when I open my mouth to speak, a guard walks up. He says something to
Alex that got him to his feet. He really looks like he is in pain right
now. He is hiding it, but I can tell by the look in his face as he got up
from the couch.

"Carlos let Steve walk with me to the medical wing. I need to have my back
looked at. It wouldn't be a waste of time letting him speak as I walk to
the medical wing," Alex requested, but his words still carried the weight
of an order.

Carlos lets me through to walk with Alex. I didn't say anything at first. I
really don't know what to tell him. I really don't know where to
start. This guy can have me killed if he thinks I disrespect him in any
way.

"Alex please understand I don't mean to disrespect you in any way. I just
want to talk with you about Matt. I have seen through the day that you and
he haven't hung around at all. You know he didn't have a thing to do with
the stabbing?"

"I know that Matt had nothing to do with the stabbing. The thing going on
with me and Matt has nothing to do with the stabbing. He and I had a
disagreement, a disagreement that can be fixed easily. Don't worry about
it. Matt is cool in my books."

I just don't understand this guy at all. On one hand he is this mean cold
blooded son-of-a-bitch. On the other hand he seems to be a laid back,
happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I wonder if he suffers from split personality.

I left Alex as he entered the medical wing. I just don't know what is going
on right now. I better just stay out of it. I value my life way too much to
step into something that isn't any of my business.

Matt and I arrived here the same day. Neither of us came from lockup. We
both walked in here from the free. What we did to get here didn't deserve
us to be locked up with the rest of the criminals. I mean hardened
criminals, that is.

From day one I knew there is something up with Matt. Don't get me wrong the
guy is cool. I like to hang around with him and I'm glad that he is my
friend. It is, well what I am trying to get at is that, to me, he seems
different.

Let me explain what I mean by that. Whenever we sit there in front of the
television and see a hot chick, we all yell and whistle, but not
Matt. Sometimes I see him really looking at some guy in a show. It could
just be me, but I don't think so.

Matt is very cool. So I don't care if the guy is different. I just wish he
will tell one of us. That way we can watch out for him especially right now
that he has Alex as a roommate. If he looks at Alex the wrong way, well
let's just say he is a dead man.

Me, on the other hand, I am more of the feeling of I don't care. I'm a just
live and let live kind of personality.  He isn't harming me being who he
is, so why should I care? I get to thank my parents for that. They are so
laid back; they don't care much about the big picture.

I adopted that from them. The weird thing is that they didn't grow up in
the seventies. They were born a little too early for that. They are not
part of the baby boomers either. They are kind of in a lost generation.

Look at me going on here. I need to get back to business. I need to make
sure that everything with Matt is ok. Although Alex is hurt, I know if he
feels threatened nothing will stop him from defending himself.

(BOBBY'S POINT OF VIEW)

 Well, it looks like I am in the clear right now. No one knows what I did
to Alex. No one has asked me why I am here in the first place. All they
know is I am back with a pending charge.

I decide for the first couple of days to hang back and stay off the gang's
radar and anyone else, for that matter. That gives me a chance to scope
everything out and Make sure there isn't a threat to me in any way.

By Saturday I decide there isn't a threat. At least for now there isn't
one. I need to be on the lookout, but I know my comrades here are going to
have my back if anything goes wrong. That isn't going to happen any time
soon because of what is happening up state.

Any order to take anyone of us out needs to be approved by the big man up
state. Yeah the big man is Alex's father and without a doubt he will give
the green light on me but right now he is involved in his little up rising.

Even if Alex made it through and got off a kite to the jefe over here, I am
safe. The jefe won't make a move until he gets the all clear from the big
man. By the time that happens I should be back at juvenile detention. I
will be laughing all the way to lockdown.

When sun porch got called I lined up to go. Since our County jail is built
in the middle of downtown, there isn't a yard for us to get any sun. All
the way on the sixteenth floor is our yard. It is on top of the building
opened up complete with weights, a basketball court, tennis court, and a
track.

The only bad thing is we have to share it with everyone when we go up. That
means all the gangs are together on the sun porch. So far there hasn't been
any gang violence; at least that I know of.

Once I got up to the sun porch I decided to do a little lifting. I haven't
had a chance in a very long time to use real weights. In juvenile detention
they took the weights away in fear that we are getting bigger than the
guards.

I waited my turn to bench press. Finally it was my turn, and I have no
plans on giving it up any time soon. I changed the weights out to start out
easy. Once I get used to lifting again I will increase the amount of the
weight.

I don't have a spotter so I need to be careful how much I put on the
bar. As I start to lift, I notice several white dudes walking over to me. I
don't pay them any mind until they are standing next to me, looking down.

"What the fuck you white boys? Wait you turn for the bench you fucking
faggots."

I didn't even notice the third one that walked up. By the time I know he is
there, he has the weight bar in his hand. He starts pressing it down into
my chest. No matter how much I struggle, I can't get out from under the
bar.

"You were saying you fucking beaner? You called my friends here faggots. To
me you look like the faggot. I see you're getting hard with us standing
over you. What is it? You like white guys to fuck you?"

I look around in hope that some of my guys see what is going on. I can't
see past the three white dudes. In fact they are making sure that no one is
able to see what they are doing. Damn, I am fucked right now."

"Come on you spic! You were talking a lot of trash talk before I walked
up. What, you aren't man enough to back up what you were saying? Why don't
you get down on your knees and suck our cocks?"

"Fuck you, you white fucking faggots. If you want a guy to suck you off, do
it to each other. I am not a faggot like you guys."

Before I could say another word, the two white dudes standing on each side
of me started to punch me in my side. The one standing over my head
actually took out his dick. I started to think this guy is going to really
make me suck his dick. There is no way I am going to put that thing in my
mouth. They should just kill me to get it over with.

"No there is no why I am going to let you put your mouth around my
cock. You will make it so oily it will take days to clean it," the white
dude says.

The dude put his dick away back in his pants. I kind of breathed a sigh of
relief when he did that. Just then the guy that is standing on my right
side pulls out what looks like an actual knife. How I the world did this
guy get a knife up here?

"We are doing a favor for one of your buddies. The one you tried to
kill. That is why you're here isn't it? You tried to kill the leader of
your gang. Well we have an alliance right now with your gang. One of the
things we agreed to is to carry out favors here and there for each other."

I couldn't believe this shit. Alex is actually alive and he got a kite
through already. He has ordered my killing. I try to struggle even more to
get away from these white assholes. With the one holding me down by the
weights, I just can't get free.

"If you are going to kill me then just do it. I am tired of these fucking
games you guys are playing. Just remember this alliance won't last between
our two gangs. I hope when it does fall apart you two are the first to go."

"Oh no, Alex didn't order us to kill you! He made it very clear he wants
you to suffer for the rest of your life. Every time you want to fuck a
woman and you can't, you will remember it is because of what you did to
Alex."

At that moment the other guys pulls down my orange pants and boxers. I have
no idea what the hell this guy is talking about, `fucking a woman and I
can't' bullshit. If they are going to stab me, just get it over with.

I start to kick as these guys pull down my pants and I try really hard to
keep these guys from getting a clear shot at me! It didn't work. One of the
guys holds me down and the other guy actually picked up my cock!

"Get your fucking hands off my cock you fucking asshole! If you want to
suck on a cock go and suck on each other's!" I yelled.

That doesn't stop them from doing what they've started. In fact they
actually picked up my balls at the same time. Then that is when I saw the
knife coming at me. I knew this is it. They are going to stab me in the gut
or stomach.

When I felt the pain in my groin, I started yelling. These assholes fucking
stabbed my cock! They are not here to kill me. They are here to mame
me. The pain got worse as the guy with the knife kept cutting!

"The next time you think of killing your own, you will think twice about
it. That is if you live, you fucking beaner! Shut the fuck up!"

The guy holding me down with the bar let go and stuffed my mouth with
something. I didn't know what it was at first. All I did as they left is
fall to the ground with my hands covering my dick.

I split out what got stuffed in my mouth. I looked down seeing all the
blood gushing out onto the floor. I looked around going in out trying to
see if anyone is coming to help me. I saw the several guards running over
to me.

As I start to fade out, I hear the sound of the alarms going off. I hear
the guards yelling at the other inmates to hit the ground. I turn back to
where I spit out the thing the guy stuffed in my mouth. Sitting by the
knife is, wait it just can't be! No way it's what it looks like. Then I saw
even clearer. It is!

(ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW)

I could barely keep my eyes open through the games. Whatever the medicine
they are giving me is putting me out. At least the pain is gone, but I
can't be caught in this position. Each time I look around, there sitting at
my side like a watch dog is Carlos.

Since I couldn't stay awake to watch the games I decide to go back to my
room. On my way Carlos walks with me. I asked him to wake me for lunch. He
agreed and as we reach my room.

During lunch I talk with the guys. Robert seems to be more open to
everyone. In fact he is talking more than anyone else is right now. I find
that pretty fun when just yesterday he wouldn't leave his room.

After lunch we play several games of pool. I force myself to stay awake. I
am surprised I don't trip on my own two feet. That is how the drugs are
working on me. I'm all light headed and stuff.

By the fourth game I had to call it quits. Once again I can't keep my eyes
open. As before, Carlos walks with me to my room. And as before I ask
Carlos to come and get me when dinner is served.

The minute my head hits the pillow I am out. I figure that is why I didn't
hear Matt walk into the room. I don't know how long he's been standing over
me watching me as I sleep, but if he has been there since I went to the
room, he's stood there for at least several hours.

I woke up to see Matt looking down at me. He actually has tears rolling
down his cheeks. I couldn't stand seeing Matt this way. I got up and patted
the mattress next to me. I want Matt to sit on the bed with me.

He got the message and sat down. I looked at him and wiped away the tears
on his face. Matt looked at me and he just sat there. With my hand I gently
moved his face to look into my mine.

"Matt we are going to fight. That is what couples do sometimes; fight. If
we get over what ever we are fighting about, it will make us stronger. I am
sorry for storming out of here yesterday without giving us a chance to talk
it out."

"You have never talked to me that way before Alex. I know you have that
side, but you have never shown that to me. It scares the crap out me when
you are like that. Which one are you Alex? The one I love and want to be
with and love for the rest of my life or are you the gangster?"

"You have no right asking me that Matt. You know who and what I am in both
of my realities. You have known that since day one. There is going to be
times while we are locked up in here that I am going to be the gangster, as
you put it."

"Please Alex just tell me now that you love me! I can deal with a lot, but
not the feeling I am feeling right now. I feel I have lost you in that one
fight," Matt said knowing that he could be asking a question that could
alter his whole life.

"Matt you can't question me in the manner you did yesterday. I am not
asking you to kiss my butt, but you can't question me like that. Even in
private you can't do it. If I let you do it, you might slip up out
there. Then I will need to react and to make you look little."

"You are not answering my question Alex. Please do you love me still? I
can't go on another day without knowing I still have your love. I promise
not to question you like that again. I want things to go back to the way
they were."

"Matt to tell you the truth, you..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

OVER VIEW:

{Yup, another cliffhanger. I'll say it before you guys and my editor get to
it. Another exciting chapter and a lot happened in one short chapter. We
are getting to know each character more and more. We met someone new in
this chapter and we are seeing others being developed.

First the pay back to Bobby, what is up with that? One thing I have got to
say here, I'd not want to get on the bad side of Alex and Carlos. Those two
can come up with ways of punishment or retribution that a person will never
forget. Bobby thought he was going to get stabbed boy was he wrong on that
point.

Alex played smart and used another gang to do his dirty work. He didn't
have his own people get their hands dirty here. And they way he did it. All
I can say is evil, evil, oh man evil. We all know what got stuffed in his
mouth. Come on, any questions on that point? The dude got the worst
possible handed to him.

There is Steve we got to know a little bit about the guy in this chapter. I
wonder if he is going to play a big part in the chapters to come. I also
wonder if we are going to get to know the other guys Matt, Alex and Carlos
sit with while they eat. I really hope so!

Now we have a new guy that just arrived. He is Carlos' roommate but he
comes with s story. His hell was brought to him by the very gang that Alex
and Carlos are part of. He is so scared of this gang for what they did he
actually peed on the floor when he heard Alex's name for the first time.

Let me say this, no jail can be a resort no matter what we hear about
them. The guards are outnumbered and results many times in the prisoners
running the show. I never want to be in the shoes of Robert.

  Then we have our first fight in Alex's and Matt's relationship. What do
you think Alex is going to say to Matt? Did Alex see that he can't have a
relationship and stay alive at the same time? Is he going to say it is over
to Matt? I really hope not.

There are so many open plots still I this story. Alex's dad has his up
rising and what is going to happen there?  We have Samuel still out there
somewhere and Diego wasn't talked about in this chapter as well. What about
the gang in Building "B"? Is it over with finally with the others trying to
take control from Alex? You are going to need to tune in for those answers
and many more to come.

I do not want to say too much more and spoil the future chapters to come,
so I won't. I warn you though! Do not skip a chapter, or you will be
lost. There is a so much to answer in the chapters to come. Keep reading
the future chapters, and enjoy! Please email me and let me know how I am
doing at jacobmillertex@aol.com, Thanks!}

EDITOR'S CORNER:

I'm sitting here shuddering with the retribution Bobby received for his
treachery! My legs are crossed and my eyes are watering!

Alex and Matt are in a very difficult situation. They are torn between two
worlds that just are incapable of co-existing.  I wonder how they can run
the gauntlet and come out whole on the other end. The gang is not going to
go away. Alex has to lead or die if he fails, either by order of his father
or by the hands of a wannabe in his close ranks. Alex is one smart guy, but
I'm not sure that being smart will be all that's necessary to allow Alex to
live a double life.  Many of us know about leading double lives and having
to hide our sexuality from the rest of the world. The ramifications of
Alex's life makes the consequences life threateningly dire.

Carlos is still an enigma to me. Which side of the bread does he butter
actually? There's more to him than we've discovered, but I'm not sure what
the "more" really is. I'm sure we'll find out in time but I don't suspect
things will be revealed soon.

Be sure and not miss Jacob's other tales; "Jacob Finding His Way" and
"Shadow of My Father".

Let us hear from EACH of you. We really appreciate your e-mails with your
thoughts and reactions to the stories. Those e-mails are the `paycheck'
Jacob and I get for hours and hours of work.

We had a reader that wrote about some grammatical and construction issues.
My reply is; Jacob and I are two ordinary guys and neither of us has a
degree in English or Composition! Yes, there are going to be errors, but I
think the quality of the stories outshines the shortcomings.  Jacob has fun
weaving a great tale. I get great pleasure massaging his work with a second
eye to help give the readers a fun read. So, mistakes in grammar and
construction will be there. Try and overlook the shortcomings and enjoy.
Of course, if there's a screw up in something, please call that to our
attention!

Keep those e-mails coming!

Until next time,

"Daddy" Rick