Date: Fri, 25 May 2001 19:38:13 -0400
From: Nicholas Glenn <cascade_nick@hotmail.com>
Subject: Beta Male Part 1

This story is offered with the author disclaiming any and all copyright
protections under the laws of the United States or any other country. It may
be reproduced in whole or in part, or modified by other aspiring authors. It
is intended for mature audiences. It is to be a multichaptered work and the
introduction is just that - an introduction to begin building the frameworks
of each of the characters involved. I promise it will get more interesting.

If interested in this story (or willing to offer constructive criticism)
please email me at cascade_nick@hotmail.com and offer your opinion (I'll try
to ignore violent flames as best I can).

                                "Beta Male"

	"Once again, you're letting your emotions get in the way of your
reason Nick!" I shouted angrily at the kid glaring at me from the other
side of the classroom.

	Nick suddenly twisted his face into a smile, a very cocky smirk it
seemed to me. You'd almost think he had won something here. "And you're
deluding yourself by supposing that reason can conquer the passions of the
human soul Jon," he said plaintively. "If we all thought like you, the
human race would have died out a long time ago."

	This kid annoyed me a lot. There weren't very many people who could
get me so angry, but everything about Nick made me detest him greatly. I
can't imagine why I allowed myself to lose such control in this debate. It
was really quite silly, standing there in a high school philosophy class
finding myself hating him so irrationally. It's not as if the discussion
counted for anything, it's not as if any sort of competitive prize was at
stake to give me cause for getting so annoyed. Yet I couldn't help but
losing myself in the argument, and, I think in doing so I definitely had
probably the lost the debate as well. But for some reason the topic at hand
- the role of reason vs. perception and the reality of absolute truth - was
one that I really took to heart.

	Suddenly it occurred to me why I had gotten so hot and bothered, so
to speak. Nick was beneath me. At 6' 2", 220 lbs. of solid muscle perfectly
toned by years of athletic endeavor, he certainly was a more powerful
physical specimen than I. But clearly I was the superior intellect. After
all, in a few months it would be me that would deliver the valedictory
address at our high school graduation. I was far and away the best student
at our school.  Nick was intellectually inferior, yet he had bested me in
this philosophical argument. The very idea of a jock seriously challenging
me at anything related to academics was inconceivable. After all, I am Jon
Gallington, student extraordinaire, and no mere football player is going to
compete with me on my chosen field.

	Heck, if I wanted to, I could probably make a go at it on Nick's
football field if I ever had the desire to do that. I was only an inch
shorter than this kid (who was the star runningback on the team despite his
enormous size, or perhaps because of it). And not to sound too arrogant,
but I was fairly well-built. With a little work I was sure I could conquer
football with the same determination I had conquered every scholastic test
I had ever come across. It was only a matter of deciding what I wanted, and
anything I wanted I was sure that I could achieve. It was all just a matter
of self-preparation. I could suddenly see myself standing on the football
field handing Nick the ball, watching him run for the winning touchdown,
the glory of a hard-fought victory within reach...

	My thoughts were interrupted violently by the sound of Nick's
words.

	"What are you staring at?!"

	"I'm sorry, what?" was all I could stammer out. I had indeed been
staring. It seemed like a moment, but it must have been nearly a minute. I
had just been standing there staring back into Nick's deep, penetrating
blue eyes the entire time my inner dialogue was taking place. What was I
doing?  Beneath me or not, Nick had made a statement and I was expected to
respond, and staring blankly into his eyes didn't cut it. But what was the
topic at hand? I think I was thinking about hating Nick. Or was I thinking
about football? Was I interested in playing football? Why did football
suddenly interest me? Why wasn't I concentrating at all? The chattering of
noises in my head was mind-numbing, each part of my brain saying something
completely different all at the same time. I needed to collect myself, I
needed to stop staring, I needed to get out of there, I needed... I
needed...

	RING! RING! RING! Oh thank God I found myself thinking (not that I
believed in such an irrational concept). The bell signaled the end of this
period and the end of my confusion. Let's see, I was supposed to start
heading someplace else now, and that would be...

	"Jon, are you alright? We have gym now, do you need me to take you
to the nurse?" I heard Nick asking.

	Oh yes, PE class. My memory was not doing so good all of a sudden.
"No, I was just dizzy for a second, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

	"OK, see you there then."

	As Nick left the room I found myself regaining my composure. I
collected my books, stopping long enough to quickly reassure my philosophy
teacher that I was alright, and hurried to the other side of the school so
as not to be late for gym. It was a non-academic subject so it only counted
in terms of grading insofar as you attended each class prepared, and I was
not about to throw away my near-perfect average on a meaningless gym
grade. I hoped I was not coming down with some sort of fever or something,
given how weird I had acted in class. That would not do at all. I needed my
body to hold together for another month or so as I finished up all my
finals and testing. And then I thought again. Well, I'd already been
accepted to Harvard. I would practically have to rob a convenience store
for them to take away my acceptance at this point. I could probably have
bombed all my final tests, still done well in all my classes, and gone on
with life as if it never mattered. But somehow I wasn't allowing that as an
option, even at this point.  I wondered why that was.

	I wondered a little too long, because I got to gym too late to
change in time for roll-call. I would lose a couple of points for
tardiness. As I hurried into the locker room (why was I hurrying when the
damage was already done?) I slammed full-force into Nick as I rounded a
corner. He fell back, thrown slightly off-balance by the force of the
impact. I fell flat on my back and hit my head on the concrete rail that
stood before each row of lockers. What a stupid design for a locker room, I
thought to myself.  To have solid concrete jutting out from the base of
each locker. I suppose it was some sort of a ledge to avoid contact with
the always filthy floors.  Somebody could hurt themselves if they weren't
careful of those rails.  Pretty soon I wasn't thinking too much anymore,
except maybe why I was seeing things in split vision. There seemed to be
two, then four Nicks standing in front of me. It was quite disorienting, I
thought as I found myself getting sleepier.

	I remembered drifting off with the vision of Nick's stunning blue
eyes before me. They really were quite striking, I thought to myself. Not
pale blue, not boyish. They were a dark sapphire color, sharply defined
against the rest of his starkly white sclera. The pupils were so focused
they always seemed to be looking through you. Why was I suddenly so
interested in Nick's eyes, I found myself thinking. There seemed to be a
look of concern there in those brilliant cobalt orbs. I felt fine, just had
been knocked off balance for a minute, I tried to tell him but found myself
(for once in my life, perhaps) without the ability to speak. As I tried to
pick myself up, it came to me in a flash of dementia that perhaps I wasn't
quite as fine as I supposed. In a moment I was gone.

	Suddenly I could sense of flood of light coming to my eyes. Hoping
it wasn't a tunnel (I wasn't going anywhere before I became valedictorian),
I found myself drifting towards the light, struggling to open my eyes. My
eyelids were slow to respond at first, and my eyes were twitching beyond my
control. Then, in a flash, my eyes opened, and beheld the sight before
them.

	I screamed. Standing over me was Helga, the school nurse, and next
to her was one of the coaches from the women's soccer team. The sudden
ugliness that flooded my vision - in stark contrast to the deep beauty of
multiple Nicks that had accompanied my eyes before their rest - was too
much for me. In a minute I regained my composure, and distinctly heard the
unmistakeable sound of Nick guffawing from some other corner of the room.

	"Hello dear, glad to have you back with us. You were out for about
ten minutes or so. You seem to have a fairly moderate concussion from where
you struck your head. I don't believe there was any damage. Even so, there
is an ambulance waiting to take you to the hospital. They'll run some
X-rays to make sure there's no physical damage to the skull and some other
tests to check for excessive swelling. Now, you will probably be
disoriented for a while now and you may have some short-term memory loss,"
I heard Helga saying.

	"We've notified your parents, and they'll meet you at the hospital.
We'll let your teachers know you won't be able to attend the rest of your
classes," the lady coach told me. "Nick here has volunteered to collect
your assignments and whatnot for you. Is that alright with you?"

	"I really feel terrible about what happened," I heard him saying,
but the voices I was hearing weren't registering quite right.

	"No, it was my own fault. I should have been more careful watching
where I was going."

	Our brief dialog was ended by my being lifted onto a stretcher by a
pair of EMTs. Where had they come from? They weren't in the room a minute
ago. Oh well, I just wanted to go to sleep at this point and stop thinking,
it was just hurting too much.

	"Now, now! Stay with us son, we need you awake," one of the medical
men was saying as he shook me and focused a bright light into one of my
pupils. These peoples' concern was really getting on my nerves now.

	In a way I was glad by the difficulty I was having thinking,
because I really didn't want to think too much at that point. I always
thought too much. But I needed to get a grasp on myself. I had been acting
weird all day, and Nick seemed to have unsettled me in some way. Why was I
so distracted around him? Why did he show such concern for me? Why, why...
Why did Nick run into me? Yes, I had been in a hurry to get to my locker.
But class had already started. Nick wasn't in class, even though I noticed
that he was fully dressed and prepared for class. Nick was standing right
by my locker, even though his locker was a couple of rows away. My locker
was not on the way to the gym floor, either. What the hell was Nick doing
there standing all by himself right by my locker? Another bright light
struck me as they opened the exit door from the school and the bright
sunlight flooding into my eyes drowned out my internal dialogue yet
again. I would consider all of this later, for now I just wanted to focus
on not focusing on anything.