Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1999 23:50:11 EST
From: Rysh1422@aol.com
Subject: Bleeding Hearts - Chapter 16

Chapter 16

	I was waiting nervously in the living room, waiting for Mom to get
here. She wouldn't say why she wanted to talk; all she would say was that
she felt she needed to talk to me in person. So here I was, pacing back and
forth like one of those bears I always see at the zoo. I was too tense to
sit still.

	Finally I heard a car pull up outside. I was at the door before she
was even out of the car. Right away, I could tell something was wrong. Her
clothes were rumbled and wrinkled as if she'd slept in them. As she
straightened up the wind caught her hair and blew it back from her
face. Suddenly, I felt my knees buckle under me and I had to grab the
doorjamb to keep from falling. One whole side of her face was an angry
purple bruise. Her left eye was almost swollen shut and her lip was split
and swollen as well. As she came towards me I noticed that she was walking
with a slight limp.

	I tried to swallow around the lump that had formed in my throat; I
tried to say something but I couldn't find my voice. All I could do was run
to meet her and throw my arms around her in a giant bear hug.

	"OH!" she gasped as I came in contact with her, "Be careful, honey,
I have a few cracked ribs."

	I backed up quickly and looked at her again. It looked even worse
up close.

	"He did this to you didn't he," I finally managed to whisper
hoarsely.

	She looked at me for a minute, then linked her arm through mine and
started walking toward the door, "Come on, let's go on inside."

	 Once we were settled in the living room, both of us on the couch -
me with my head on her shoulder, she sighed a long heavy sigh and began to
stroke my hair.

	"I'm going to live with my sister, Aunt Kathy, in Pennsylvania,"
she said after awhile. "I want you to go with me."

	I sat up and turned so I could look into her eyes. "What?"

	"I can't stay here, Killian. That became very clear last night. I'm
going to move in with Kathy and go back to school. It the only way I am
going to be able to survive. I want you to go with me, it's a nice town,
good schools."

	"What happened last night?"

	"That doesn't matter now. What matters is that it's over and I'm
not going back. I have everything that is mine packed in the car. I'm
leaving tonight."

	"But...but..."

	"But what, Killian?"

	"I don't want to go," I said awkwardly.

	"You...don't want to go?" I could tell she was hurt.

	"I don't want to leave. I like living with Adam. I don't want to
move away right now. I..." I almost said that I couldn't leave until I
found out who had killed Seth, but I stopped myself just in time. I don't
think Mom would have understood.

	"I don't understand," Mom said, shaking her head.

	"I just can't...drop everything and go. I'm happy now. Maybe you
can move in with me and Adam."

	"No. I want to leave, Killian. I need to leave. I have to get away
from him. Do you see what he did to me?" She pointed to her face.

	"Did you call the police?"

	She snorted angrily, stood up and began to pace just as I had been
earlier. Her motions were disjointed and jerky. "He has the whole police
department in his back pocket. It's good-ole boys' politics in this town
and that means you don't mess with one of their own. Believe me, your
father has made sure he's on the inside, way inside. Everyone in this
county owes him a favor, most more than one, and he's not afraid to call
them in."

	"I still don't want to go, isn't there some way you can stay?"

	"Sure, I can stay here and wind up dead. Is that what you want,
Killian? It's just as dangerous for you to stay. You may feel safe here
with Adam, but what if he decides you're getting in the way or becoming too
embarrassing for him, hurting his precious campaign? He'll be able to get
to you. Don't think for a second you're out of reach."

	I stared at her, my mouth open and my eyes wide. She stared back,
her eyes flashing with anger and, I realized, fear. Then suddenly her eyes
changed. The fear remained, but all the anger drained out, just like
someone had pulled a plug. It was replaced with weariness. For a moment I
thought she was going to collapse as she swayed in the center of the
room. I moved to jump up to catch her if the need arose, but before I could
get up she backed up a few steps and dropped into a nearby chair, wincing
as her ribs were jarred.

	"I'm sorry, Killian," she said softly, "I didn't mean to scare
you. You're right. There's no sense in dragging you out of school and away
from your friends. You're as safe here with Adam as you'd be anywhere. If
it's ok with Adam you can stay here till school is out, then come up with
Kathy and me." She rubbed at her good eye, and sagged back farther into the
chair.

	"It's fine with me," Adam said from the doorway, making us both
jump. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Or eavesdrop for that matter,
but I came in and I guess you didn't hear me. I couldn't help hearing you."

	Mom looked at him silently, then turned and looked at me. I
nodded. She sighed again then stood up and stood in the middle of the
floor.

	"Then it's settled. Killian, you'll stay with Adam. We'll take care
of whatever legal matters need to be attended to."

	"Mom..." I started.

	"Killian, it's ok. Really. Now that I think about it, it makes a
lot more sense this way. I'll be so busy with school and a job that I
wouldn't have much time to even spend with you. You'd be in a new place
with no friends. Adam's proven he's responsible and he's been good to you,
better than your own father."

	"Meg, I said it was ok with me and it is; I've grown to think of
Killian as just like one of my sons. But I want to make sure that you are
sure about this." Adam said.

	"I don't have time to be sure," she said, "I have to go, I'm
driving to my sister's tonight and I'm emotionally and physically
drained. I want to leave now before I get any more tired."

	She turned towards me and held out her arms, I took the few steps
between and wrapped my arms around her, more gently this time so as not to
hurt her ribs. She felt so frail in my arms, and suddenly I felt tears
begin to roll down my cheeks. We stood quietly like that for a few minutes,
before she pulled gently away.

	I looked into her tear-streaked face and realized how much I loved
her and how much I would miss her, but I knew I had made the right decision
for now. There was a peace inside of me and I could see it reflected in her
eyes.

	"I love you, Mom," I whispered.

	"I love you, too," she told me. "It's not forever you know. I have
to come back in a month for a doctor's appointment, so I'll just stay here
for Thanksgiving. I can't be away from my baby on Thanksgiving." Then she
turned back to Adam, "Take care of my boy, Mr. Connelly. If anything
happens to him, you'll see what I'm capable of." She said that last part
with a smile but I got the feeling that she was deadly serious.

	"I will," Adam promised solemnly. "I'll take care of him as if he
were my own. And we'll expect you to stay here and have Thanksgiving dinner
with us."

	Mom nodded and looked at me one more time before she started to
leave. I walked her out to the car. Adam followed, but only as far as the
front door, where he stood watching us. She opened the door to climb in and
then paused. She gave me a shaky smile, "Are you sure you won't go?"

	"I can't..."

	She reached out a hand and rested it on my cheek for just the
briefest second, then turned to get into the car.

	"Mom..."

	She stopped and turned back to me again and I leaned in for one
last hug. I kissed her on the cheek before stepping back. She reached up to
the spot where I had kissed her and I saw a tear slip out of the corner of
here eye before she ducked into the car. She started the engine, backed out
onto the street and sat there, staring at me for a moment, then waved one
last time before driving off.

	I stood there watching until she made the turn at the end of the
street and drove out of sight, and even then I stood there staring at
nothing. I felt Adam's arm settle around my shoulders as he pulled me back
towards the house. Once inside, I turned into his chest and began to
cry. He allowed me to cry it out without saying a word. When I was done, we
walked into the living room and sat down.

	"It's not forever, Killian. She'll be back in a few weeks," he said
softly.

	"I know; it won't even be that much different from the way it's
been the last few weeks. Its just weird to know your whole family is out of
reach in one way or another. You're the only family I have now."

	"Like I told your mother, I consider you one of my sons."

	"Well, then I guess I have a brother now, too...Kane."

"Speaking of Kane, I spoke to Ilana today. She said that things are going
well, that Eve's lawyer has been very cooperative so far, although they
have in no way even suggested that I even get visitation rights, let alone
custody."

	"When will you know more?" I asked.

	"I don't know; these things are complicated. Without Eve's
cooperation this could be a long, drawn out process. With Seth it was easy;
she didn't want him. He was too much like me, in all the wrong ways."

	My eyes widened and I had trouble controlling the smile that was
fighting to spread across my face. If I were a cartoon character a light
bulb would have just appeared above my head. There's nothing like a good
project to distract you from feeling bad; and it looked like I had just
found a new project.

	  Adam could tell something was up, "What?" he asked me
suspiciously.

	"Nothing, I just remembered I have homework." I lied.

	"I've never seen you get excited about homework before," he
commented dryly.

	"First time for everything," I said cheerily, as I jumped up and
started out of the room.

	"You'd better not be up to something, Killian," Adam called after
me.

	"Who me?" I called back as I grabbed my backpack and he bounded
down the hall to my room.

	Once in my room I shut the door and booted up the computer. After I
was online I shot off a quick email to Kane outlining my idea. That done, I
turned to my homework, since I really did have quite a bit.

* * *

	Later that night after the dinner dishes were done and all my
homework was finished, I was in my room reading when Jake called.

	"Hey, Killian," he said when I'd answered, "I've decided to tell
you about the other person that I saw talking to Seth. I haven't talked to
them yet, but I will before tomorrow afternoon, so how about if you come
over to my house tomorrow around 3 if you don't already have plans, I mean
I know it's a Saturday and all..."

	"I'll can be there at three," I told him.

	"Great, I'll see you then," he said quickly and hung up.

	Now my mind was going a hundred miles an hour trying to figure out
who Jake was protecting. It had to be someone he liked or he wouldn't
care. I didn't really know Jake all that well but I knew who he hung out
with in general - Zack's crowd, the soccer jocks, even though Jake didn't
play soccer. Could the person in question be part of that group? He didn't
mind telling me about his own cousins, Asher and Marcus.

	The more I thought about all this the more muddled it all
became. In movies and books they always make lists when they are trying to
figure stuff out, so I decided to give it a try. I pulled a notebook out of
my backpack and made a heading at the top of the page: People Who Talked To
Seth. Under that I listed Asher, Zack, Jesse, Becky, Marcus. That was all I
had so far. I looked at the list and sighed. It wasn't very much. I added a
check next to Marcus' name since I'd talked to him, for all the good that
did me.

	I stared at the page for a few more minutes, even turning it around
a few times, but for the life of me I couldn't see anything else useful. It
sure didn't make the killer pop off the page the way they always did in the
movies. In frustration I threw the notebook across the room and turned the
computer back on.

	I was barely online before Kane sent me an instant message.

	"I LOVE YOUR IDEA!" he typed. "do you really think it'll work?"

	"i don't know but it's worth a try," I answered.

	"i don't know why I didn't think of it"

	"i got the idea today while i was talked to your dad"

	"i've got to find the right time to do it. Does my dad know about
this new plan?"

	"no, i didn't tell him, i was afraid he'd think it was too risky"

	"he'd probably be right, but it doesn't matter, i'm doing it
anyway...if it works it'll be worth it"

	"but what if it doesn't work?"

	"don't think like that, it WILL work! Do you have any ideas about
who killed my brother yet?"

	I told him about what Jake had told me and about the frustrating
list. Then he said, "well, at least you have some people to talk to
now...who knows what you might find out when you talk to them"

	"i guess"

	"hey, i hafta go...mom just got home and if she catches me on here,
she'll kill me"

	"ok, bye"

	"bye, Killian, thanks again...i can't thank you enough...i love
you"

	By the time I got over my surprise and typed and sent 'i love you
too' back to him he was already gone. I felt a little better about the list
after talking to Kane, but now I was worried about my plan. What if it
backfires? And to add the confusion, Kane had said I love you to me. What
did he mean by that, just brotherly love? Or was it more? I was too tired
to think about it now. I swept everything off my bad, got undressed and
crawled under the covers. I'd think more about it tomorrow.

* * *

	I was watching a group of people from a slight distance away. I
could see them clearly, but none of them seemed to notice me, almost as if
there were one-way glass between us. I looked closely and realized that I
knew almost everyone in the group. There was Zack and Jesse, Asher, Marcus,
Jake, Kane, Becky Rosinski, and someone else who I couldn't quite make
out. Seth stood off to one side, not included in their little huddle. They
were talking casually among themselves when suddenly the shadows around
them began to undulate and swirl as if they were coming to life. Several
wisps of darkness separated themselves and formed into a familiar person,
the faceless man.

	No one else seemed to notice him as he drew closer to the group. I
wanted to scream and warn them, but I couldn't seem to make any sound. He
paused a few feet away from Seth and turned his head in my direction. Even
though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was looking right at me. I felt
as if he was smiling at my inability to cry out to him.

	Without warning he reached out and grabbed Seth. There was a knife
in his other hand and with one smooth, effortless motion Seth crumpled to
the ground dead. I tried to scream out again, but once again, nothing came
out. The faceless man, looked at me again and I could hear his cold
laughter ringing in my ears. Why couldn't anyone else hear it? No one even
noticed that Seth was dead. He moved forward again, closer to the other. I
tried to throw myself forward to stop him but I couldn't move. I was
helpless to do anything but watch in horror as he leaped into the circle
and raised his knife to kill once again.

	"Killian!" someone screamed my name, but I didn't answer. I had to
stop the faceless man. "KILLIAN!" they screamed again, louder this time. I
turned to see who it was.

	I found myself looking up at Adam leaning over my bed, one hand on
my shoulder. I was still shaking from the dream; residual images still
skated around the edges of my consciousness.

	"Are you ok? Were you having another nightmare?" he asked.

	"It was awful," I told him groggily.

	"It sounded like it," he said with a concerned look on his face. "I
talked to a counselor, but I had to get back to him with your medical and
insurance stuff and I'm afraid I forgot it with all the legal stuff with
Kane. I'll call him again tomorrow."

	I nodded; I was only half listening since my mind was still on the
dream.

	"Do you think you can go back to sleep?" he asked me.

	I nodded again and he bent down and kissed me lightly on the
forehead. Even with the nightmare fresh in my mind, I was asleep again in
minutes. If I had any more dreams the rest of the night, I don't remember
them.

* * *

	The next morning was busy; after I got up, showered, ate and
watched a few Saturday morning cartoons, I cleaned my room. While I was
cleaning I came across the notebook I had thrown the night before. I sat
down on my bed and looked at the list again. Maybe if I tried to talk to
everyone on the list I would find out something more. I'd already talked to
Marcus and all I'd gotten from him was that crack about Asher, which I'd
almost convinced myself was just Marcus being a jerk. At any rate, I wasn't
quite ready to talk to Asher so I moved to the next names on the list, Zack
and Jesse. Let me think about that one; did I want to call Zack and Jesse
and ask about Seth? Um...no! I'd have to find someone else to ask them
about that, maybe Gilly. Next on the list was Becky. I didn't know her
number but I thought Gilly might, so I called her.

	Gilly answered the phone and gave me Becky's number after I
explained to her why I needed it. She also agreed to try and talk to Zack
and Jesse without raising too much suspicion.

	After we chatted for a few more minutes I hung up from her and
called Becky. She couldn't figure out who I was at first, but once I
mentioned Gilly she was able to place me. What an ego boost. I was now
relegated to accessory status, just what I'd always wanted. Oh well, if it
meant I had an in with the people I needed to talk to, I could stand it.

	"I have a kind of weird question," I told her.

	"Ok," she said uncertainly. Actually she said, "OooooKay." If
you've ever watched the cartoon Daria and you remember the character Sandy,
that's who Becky always reminds me of, just not as exaggerated.

	"Did you ever talk to Seth?"

	"Seth was like, that guy who was gay, right?"

	"Yeah," I said and held my breath.

	"Yeah, I used to talk to him all the time; he was in my art
class. He was really cool. That was really sad what happened to him."

	"Did you ever talk to him outside of class?"

	"Maybe, but probably just about art stuff. He was helping with a
project. I got an A on it. It was really awesome. It was this painting
of..."

	"That's great, Becky," I interrupted, and then tried to steer her
back to the conversation at hand. Becky was always a little hard to keep on
track. "Did you ever see him talking to anyone else?"

	She thought for a minute, or at least I assumed she was
thinking. She got quiet, but maybe she was just filing her nails or
whatever. Finally she came back with, "You know, I did see him talking to
some guy a couple times, but I can't remember his name."

	I immediately thought of Asher. "What did he look like?" I asked
her.

	I heard someone talking to her in the background and then her voice
answering them, kind of muffled, as if she had her hand over the receiver.

	"I don't know, I have to go," she finally said to me.

	"Wait, what did the guy look like? You have to have some idea."

	"Why is it so important? Were you hot for him or something? Geez!
He's like a surfer dude or something, maybe a skater. Who gives a damn? I
have to go, my boyfriend is waiting." And with that, she hung up.

	Everything I tried seemed to turn out to be a dead-end.

	I glanced at my watch. It was only a little after 2 and I wasn't
supposed to be at Jake's until 3, but I decided to go a little early. I was
tired of sitting around my house moping; and besides, maybe this person
Jake was going to tell me about would be the big break I needed. I giggled
to myself as I got into the car. Big break...I sounded like a cheesy
detective novel.

	By the time I arrived at the Sheridan's house, it was 2:30 so I was
only half an hour early. Not too bad I guess. I knocked on the door and
Todd answered.

	"Are you here for Gilly or Jake?" he asked, then before I could
answer, "Cuz Gilly's gone shopping and Jake went surfing, although he might
be back by now. He took the boat out. You can check out back by the creek."
He walked away leaving the door open.

	I shrugged and pulled the door to, and then walked around to the
back of the house. Gilly had shown me the old boat house and dock the night
I'd had dinner here so I knew generally where it was. You had to walk
through a small copse of trees to get there so it was somewhat shielded
from the house and you couldn't really see the boathouse until you cleared
the trees.

	Just as I was about to step out of the trees I saw Jake coming out
of the boathouse and for some reason I stopped; he hadn't seen me yet. His
hair was wet and tousled and he was wearing a full wet suit.

	He paused outside the boathouse and rummaged through a backpack
that I hadn't noticed before since I'd been so busy watching Jake. He
pulled out a big towel and hung it over the door handle. He then proceeded
to unzip his wet suit down to his waist and peel it down off of him. I
caught my breath at the sight of him naked to his waist. I felt a stirring
down below as I watched him grab the towel and dry off his upper torso. He
wasn't overly buff but he was well defined as most surfers are. And tan all
over, at least what I could see. He reached back into the bag and pulled
out a t-shirt, which he slipped over his head.

	Then he unzipped the wet suit the rest of the way and pulled it
down and off. I almost passed out. I had a completely unobstructed view of
Jake's perfect butt. I took an involuntary step backwards and bumped into
something warm and solid. I let out a yelp and spun around. It was Todd and
he was watching me with narrowed eyes.

	"Like what you see?" he said in a low, dangerous sounding voice.

	"Todd," I gasped. I would have gasped even if he hadn't just scared
two years off of my life. I was still having trouble breathing from seeing
Jake naked.

	"Killian? Is that you?" I heard Jake call, still down by the
boathouse.

	"Yeah," I called back without taking my eyes off Todd.

	"Come on down, I'm just getting everything put away, I went surfing
this afternoon. The waves were awesome but it was a little chilly."

	"Be right there," I yelled.

	"Go," Todd said, still in a low voice, "But talk to me before you
leave. And if you hurt my brother...or my sister...I'll come after you."

	I turned and walked down to the boathouse without looking back, my
heart racing.

	Jake was now fully clothed and was bent over locking the boathouse
door. "Hey, Killer," he said as I approached.

	I froze in my tracks, "What did you say?" My voice came out sharper
than I'd meant for it to, so much for the subtle approach.

	He looked up at me with a confused expression. "I just said hey."

	"No, what did you call me?"

	"Killer? I'm sorry, you don't like that?" He straightened up and
left the lock hanging in the hasp, unlocked.

	"No, its ok. It just surprised me. Seth called me that. No one else
ever has."

	"Really? You'd think it would be a natural nickname for
Killian. Especially with that killer smile of yours." He added that last
part with that incredible grin of his that got me every time.

	I laughed, the tension of the moment forgotten. He turned around
and bent to pick up his backpack and I couldn't help but think about his
bare butt again and once again the appropriate body part responded. I must
have had a funny look on my face when he turned around because he gave me
an odd look then said, "Are you ok?"

	"Yeah, I'm fine." I managed to say.

	"You don't look it," he glanced meaningfully at my crotch and then
gave me a lopsided smile. "So how long were you in the trees?"