Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 17:09:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ryan Miller <blue98custom@yahoo.com>
Subject: Bonding Energy part 1

As with all stories I write, I love feedback. But only
feedback! I am not here to pick up guys, especially
old, hairy, married men looking to get lucky. Tell me
I'm a great writer or whatever, but stop sending gross
pictures of yourself. Unless of course you look like
Charlie Hunnam. ;) So send any comments to
blue98custom@yahoo.com.

Disclaimer:
This is a homoerotic story I have written which means
two things: if you are offended by or not allowed to
read such material, then don't; and don't publish it
elsewhere without my expressed permission.

Bonding Energy Part 1

It was a typical day ... well, typical for me at least.

My life could never be defined as typical. My name is
Kyle. I was orphaned at the age of 6 when my parents
were killed in a bank robbery. My father tried to stop
the robbers and my mom tried to stop him. You can
guess what happened. None of my relatives were willing
to take in my older brother, James, and me, so we
floated around the foster care system for several
years. When he turned 18 and I was 14, he moved out
and bought his own place and got a job as a graphic
designer for an advertising company. Within a year, he
had been promoted to the head of his department (he
had a knack for that stuff, I guess) and was making
enough money to become my legal guardian, so I moved
in with him. So I'm an orphaned high school sophomore
living with his older brother. Add the advanced
classes I'm taking, the friends I don't have and the
fact that I'm gay and I am anything but typical.

To get on with the story, it was a typical day in my
favorite advanced class: organic chemistry. This class
was the love and hate of my life because on the one
hand I loved the subject, but it was full of stupid
jocks who loved nothing more than to tease the
"squash-more." I'm not sure why a bunch of dumb jocks
would want to take organic chemistry, but I'm guessing
it was so they could hit on the young, blond teaching
assistant.

But it wasn't total torture, for what they saw in her
I definitely saw in them, or at least one of them. His
name was Brian. I think his last name was Freeman or
Fleishman or something, but that never mattered to me.
I just knew him as Brian -- the hottest guy in our
whole school. He had spiked, blond hair that went well
with his chiseled features. I would have given
anything to have PE with him so I could steal a look
as his ripped body, but I had to be satisfied with his
tight shirts that showed off his bulging biceps and
flat stomach. I often wondered what it would be like
to be as built as him, but my slender figure refused
to bulk up. And what I loved most about him was his
piercing, blue eyes. They were almost grey in color
and had a depth that said there was something going on
in that thick, jock head of his. I tried not to look
at them because they were so easy to get lost in.

Brian was quarterback, captain of the wrestling team,
and all-star thrower for the track team, so of course
he led the pack of hooligans who harassed me. One day
in class while I was taking notes on alkenes, I felt
something hit my leg. It came from the direction of
the jock table so I knew it was one of the many
projectiles they would throw at me, but they usually
hit my head. `Their aim is getting worse,' I thought.
I kept taking notes and paid them no heed, though I
could hear them snickering.

"Psst!" I heard a voice say.

I glanced up from my notes to see what was bothering
me and did a double take when I saw Brian's piercing
eyes staring straight at me. I took this rare
opportunity to stare into them, not caring what he
wanted. He looked down at he floor and then back up at
me. I just stared back at him, lost somewhere in the
clear, blue window to his soul. But I was pulled back
to reality when he broke the gaze and looked up at the
teacher who was now standing next to us. "Brian, is
there something you need help with?" she said.

"No, I was just asking Kyle if he had extra paper,"
said Brian. I didn't remember him asking for paper.
What did I miss while I was entranced. I thought back
and remembered that he looked at the floor. I looked
down and saw the wadded up piece of paper he hit me
with.

"Psst!" I heard again. I looked up and saw Brian
staring at me again. He quickly looked down at the
paper and back up at me and then turned back to his
notes before the teacher noticed. I decided to
investigate this paper that had him so intrigued he
would risk getting in trouble to let me know it was
there. I picked it up and unwadded it to see it was a
note. `The guy of my dreams just left me a note!' I
squealed inside. I was sure it wouldn't be the kind I
was hoping for, but I read it with an equal amount of
anticipation. It said:

Hey Kyle,

I know I've been an ass all year and I'm sorry. I
really need your help with this chemistry stuff. If I
don't pass, I will have to stay one more year and I
don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. One
more year of high school would drive me nuts. Would
you help me study? I could pay you if that's what it
takes. I really need to pass and would appricate your
help.

Brian

"Well," I heard Brian say. I looked up from the note
and saw him glance between me and the teacher. "What
do you think?" he said in his best attempt at a
whisper.

What do I think? I thought it was cute how he spelled
appreciate wrong. But I could have the hottest guy I
know alone with me talking about my favorite subject
in the world. Hell yes I'll do it! But I wanted to see
how long I could drag this out. "I'm not sure," I said
with a shadow of a smirk as I manipulated him. I would
have kept on going if I hadn't seen the glow of his
eyes falter. I could tell he was really worried about
this, so I stopped messing around and wrote "Sure," on
the paper and handed it to him.

When he looked at my reply, his faced showed a great
deal of relief and he quickly wrote a response on the
paper and handed it back to me making sure the teacher
didn't see. It said:

Thanks. Meet me at the flagpole at 3:10. TELL NO ONE!

3:10? School got out at 2:45, so he must really not
want to attract attention to this. The rest of
chemistry went along fine. It was the last class of
the day, so after it was over there was only 25
minutes until 3:10. Right after class, I headed out to
the flagpole and sat on the bench next to it and
played my Gameboy until he got there.

It was 3:20 when he finally arrived. Everyone else had
gone by then, but I think that was his intention. "Hey
Kyle, thanks for doing this," he said. "I know I've
been a jerk all year ... are you OK?"

That question caught me off guard and I realized I had
been lost in his eyes again. "Um, yea. I'm fine," I
said, knowing it was a terrible cover-up. "So, did you
want to go to my house or yours?"

"Huh?" he said.

"For the studying," I said.

"Oh yea. We'd better go to your place, if that's OK.
My mom is getting ready for a party and she doesn't
like it when other people are around while she
cleans."

"Weird," I said. I figured all mothers would enjoy
spending time with their sons.

"It's not too bad," he said. "It means I don't have to
clean anything."

I could see his point there and we laughed. Me and the
boy of my dreams laughing together. I guess that's
what you call hitting it off.

"Well, lets go to my car and you can show me where you
live," He said. When we got there, he opened the door
to a Honda Civic. A Civic? What kind of a jock car is
that? People like him are supposed to have a Mustangs
or Trans Am. But it was a nice car, with its
quicksilver seat covers and a stereo system that was
probably worth more than the car was, but that's not
hard with a Civic.

"So, where do you live," he asked after we got in and
he started out of the parking lot.

"Maple and 36th."

"Cool, I live about three blocks from there," No way,
the boy of my dreams within walking distance of where
I sleep. This day was getting me really excited. But I
tried not to get too excited. I had to remind myself
that none of my fantasies were going to come true and
that we were just going to study. Even if he was gay,
what would he see in a guy like me? Despite my best
efforts at exercising, I was still scrawny. My short,
brown hair was matted and my overall look just wasn't
that appealing, at least not to me. Compared to his
beauty, I was nothing.

We got to my house and he parked on the side of the
street. It was a small, two-story house my brother was
renting from an old lady. It would normally be really
expensive, but James took the photos for the old
lady's granddaughter's wedding and she was really
impressed with his work, so she let us stay there for
dirt-cheap. I walked inside and Brian followed
tentatively. I threw my stuff on the kitchen table and
he did the same. "Would you like anything to drink?" I
asked.

"No, I'm cool, he said."

I went to the garage though the kitchen to get myself
a Coke and when I came back I was shocked at what I
saw. James had Brian in a full-Nelsen up against the
wall demanding why he was there. "James, stop!" I
yelled, worried for my brother's safety. If he knew
whom he was restraining, he would have been more
careful.

"You know this guy?" James asked.

"Yes, he's here to study with me."

James looked at Brian who was now red in the face,
probably from trying not to turn around and snap my
bother's neck. James was strong, but more in heart
than in body. The foster system had turned him into a
raving lunatic when it came to protecting me, and he
attacked any threat with full force.

"Let him go James. He's a friend." James pondered that
statement for a moment, then decided to let go. He
walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs without a
word. I heard his door close and Led Zeppelin started
playing. He always played Zep when he was mad.

"Sorry about that," I apologized to Brian. "He's
really protective of me."

"What's his problem?" he said.

I wasn't quite sure how to address such a question
from someone I barely knew, so I improvised: "He has
so many, I've just stopped guessing."

He shrugged off the issue and we went to the table and
pulled out our books. "So, where do we start?" he
asked.

"Well, what do you need help in?"

"I don't know, all of it."

"Well you must know something about chemistry."

"Not really."

"What's electron affinity?"

"Is that even English?"

"Can you draw Lewis structures?"

"No."

"What's CH4?"

"Carbon hydro ... I don't know. That's why I need your
help." I looked into his eyes as he leaned on his hand
and sighed. Their dull grey color told me he was
really frustrated and disappointed, and the books
weren't even open yet.

I could see I had my work cut out for me. I wasn't
sure what to do, so I started with chapter one: Carbon
Bonds. We had to start somewhere. As we studied, we
were both amazed at how fast and well he caught on. It
seemed he could learn a lot better without his
flunkies or a blond in a tight skirt hanging around.
After a few hours, we both decided it was getting late
and that two chapters was enough studying for one
night.

"Thanks Kyle," he said as he packed up his books. "I
really can't tell you how cool it is for you to do
this, even after I was an ass all year."

"It's OK, it never really bothered me." That was a
blatant lie. I had come home countless times crying
because of what he and his friends had done to me that
particular day. If it wasn't a wedgie that challenged
my ability to have children it was gravy poured over
my head at lunch.

"Well, I'll try and get them to tone it down. Sorry
for making you feel bad. You're a cool guy and I
appreciate your help," he said.

"I appricate it too," I mumbled under my breath.

"Huh," he said.

"Uh, same time tomorrow?" I said and congratulated
myself on a smooth recovery.

"No, I can't. My mom has that party and I have to go
to it," He said.

" `Have to go?' Can it be that bad?"

"Yea. It's a party for my dad's friends at work. He's
a sports writer for the newspaper and they want to
throw a party for an editor who won some award."

"That does sound bad. Can you get out of it?"

"No, I already agreed to it, and I have to take my
girlfriend."

"Why are you making her go if it's gonna be lame?"

"They insisted I bring her so they could meet her," he
said. If I wasn't mistaken, I heard a twinge of
anxiety in his voice. Well, I would be nervous if I
had committed my date to an uneventful evening of
toasts and office people getting drunk. He picked up
his stuff and I walked him to the door. "Well, see you
tomorrow in class?" he asked, as if something
otherwise would happen.

"Sure," I said.

He turned and walked out the door. As he went back to
his civic in the twilight air, I admired his muscular
shoulders and back, which tapered down to a tight
butt. Oh, to be that tall and handsome. "I can see
what you like about him," said James. I nearly knocked
him on the floor as I turned around and shoved him
inside closing the door.

"What if he hears you?!" I exclaimed. James knew I was
gay, but he was the only one. I was embarrassed as
hell to tell anyone else.

"If he doesn't know already, he's pretty clueless."

"What do you mean?" I said indignantly.

He laughed and said, "Every time you weren't looking
at a book, you were staring at his face or his arms.
You didn't even notice when I came downstairs."

"You came down stairs?" I said.

James just laughed and walked over to the couch and
flung himself on it. As I thought about it, my
behavior was pretty obvious. If he noticed I was
checking him out, it must not have bothered him
because he didn't say anything or beat the crap out of
me.

Speaking of which, "What was up with you this
afternoon," I shouted into the living room.

"What do you mean," he said as I walked in to sit in
my recliner. It was well established that the couch
was James' to sprawl out on while I could have my way
with the recliner. If I took it upon myself to sit on
the couch, he would pick me up and throw me off of it.

"I mean, I come home with a friend and you assault
him. He didn't even look like a burglar."

"I was stressed out and some guy in a tight shirt who
looks like he could bench 350 is standing in the
kitchen. It was a knee-jerk reaction."

"Hard time at work again?"

"I guess you could say that. We have a new intern who
just got out of some graphic arts school and thinks he
knows more than the rest of us combined. And then of
course the fact came up that I only have a GED and he
went off on how I wasn't qualified to be department
manager. Luckily my boss walks in at that same time
and basically tears the kid a new one. He told the kid
about how he never had a degree before and he still
managed to build his company from nothing and how I am
department manager because I'm damn good at what I
do."

"Same old story?"

"Same old story. I'll be surprised if the kid comes
back tomorrow. But they rarely do."

He turned on the TV to watch CSI, but I wasn't
interested. I was too bust thinking about the day. I
found it amazing how someone I could have described as
my nemesis has become the closest thing I have to a
friend, and how that person is the guy I have the
biggest crush on. I thought about how I would have
more frequent and legitimate excuses to check him out.

"Wasn't that Brian Freeman?" asked James. It must have
been a commercial break because he never speaks during
CSI, unless it's to tell the criminal how stupid they
are.

"Yea, it was," I said.

"Isn't he the one giving you crap all the time?"

"He used to, but he seems to have changed his mind
since I helped him."

"Really," James said with a mischievous smile. "I
think he likes you."

"Shut-up!" He knew I had a crush on Brian and always
teased me about it.

"Kyle has a boyfriend! Kyle has a boyfriend!"

"Shup-up!" I shouted and picked up an empty coke can
off the floor and threw it at his head. He caught it
and crushed it in what seemed an instant. `Damn,
friking brother taking Tae-Kwan-Do,' I though to
myself. He would have kept on taunting, but Grissom
came back on the screen and he was silent.

 I leaned back in my chair and must have fallen asleep
because I don't remember anything else, just a warm,
hopeful feeling thinking about being able to hang out
with Brian again.

To be continued...
_____________________________________________________________________

That's all for now. Be on the lookout for the next
installment. Remember to tell me what you though at blue98custom@yahoo.com.