Date: Sat, 8 May 2004 1:07:14 -0500
From: Brad <brad_story@alltel.net>
Subject: brad and scott part 1

This is a real life story. In fact, it is more than just that. It is the
story of what I am currently experiencing up to this very moment. I will
continue to write this story as it progresses. No part of this story is
fiction. I purposely have not included certain details of this story to
protect the privacy of myself and others. I hope that this occasional
absence of detail does not detract from your overall enjoyment of this
piece. I think that this is a new kind of idea to write a story about one's
life as it unfolds. I hope you find it to be of interest.

And please, feel free to email me with questions or comments. I would love
to hear about what people think of my story, and I am open to any
suggestions, both for my real life experiences as well as what I should add
to this story. My email address is brad_story@alltel.net. If you would like
to chat with me, email me and I will give you my usernames for my IM
apps. I have ICQ, MSN, and AIM. Again, I would love to hear from you.

This story is the property of myself and may not be reproduced in whole or
in part without prior permission from myself. Please email me if you would
like to obtain such permission.


Brad and Scott

	I live in a small town with less than 15,000 people. My friends and
I always joke that there are more deer than people where we live. The sad
part is, it's true. I am 15 and a freshman in high school. My life up to
now has been very confusing, but I have managed to get by. I am in the
middle of an experience that could be the best, or worst, thing to come my
way up to this point in my life.

	I am about five foot seven inches. I have blonde hair that you
could almost call dirty blonde, and I love to grow it long enough that it's
shaggy. My eyes are close to being forest green, which I love. My smile is
perfect, since my teeth have never experienced a cavity and are pure
white. I will never need braces either. One thing that I don't like however
is my small gut. It's the type of gut that you wouldn't be able to see when
I have a shirt on, but it is easily seen when I have my shirt off. This
bothers me, and it has lowered my self-confidence for years. My face isn't
one you'd exactly call pretty. I have more than a little acne, but I don't
have a lot. So overall, I am an average teenager.

	To understand things better, I'll reminisce to my very early
beginnings. I was born in Baltimore, Maryland, and named Bradley, which
means "from the wide or broad meadow." Why my parents chose that name I may
never know. Anyways, the first two years of my life were spent in a small
home in Camden, MD. I don't remember any of it, but knowing that I'm from
there makes me feel in some way connected to it. So after those two years,
we moved to my current town.

	I was a wild kid growing up. A doctor told my mom once to put me on
Ritalin, but she decided I would just grow out of it eventually. And I
did. But before I had matured past this, I managed to get quite a few
people angry with my demeanor. Once during soccer, my assistant coach
strangled me for being so hyper. Only after the head coach intervened did
he stop. I continued to play soccer through my freshman year, although I no
longer had that guy for a coach.

	There is a big part of my childhood that is a secret. It's one that
I've never fully revealed to anyone. I was a very curious little boy. I
fooled around with many kids my age over the years. The first I can
remember is when I was around 5, I used to play "doctor" with my grandma's
neighbor's kid when I was visiting. All that this consisted of was us
pulling our pants down and touching each other's genitals. It wasn't much,
but it made me even more curious.

	Eventually, that ended. It wasn't, however, the end of my
experimenting as I continued to find people to play with over the
years. There are four people that I distinctly remember doing things
with. It was never much. I didn't get the chance to fool around with any
more girls though, which may be the reason I turned out like I did. With
the first two, it was just some more genital touching. The third got a bit
more intense. I was around 11 or 12 and I had a neighbor, and although he
was straight, he did let me give him a blowjob every now and then. I loved
the opportunity to experiment in this way. We did this about ten times in
all. I was a bit afraid though, and I never let him have an orgasm in my
mouth. It was at the start of these encounters with him that I started
having regrets about what I was doing. In the heat of the moment, it always
seemed so fun, but afterwards, I would get very depressed and feel terrible
for having done such things. Back then I never even thought about having a
sexual preference, let alone even think about sex. To understand better
what I did with the fourth one, I first have to explain my life from
seventh grade on.

	Back near the start of seventh grade, I started to jack off
regularly. This fueled my sex drive, and caused me to start thinking about
sexual things for the first time in my life. I started to become deeply
disturbed with the emotions I was feeling, however. I regarded several boys
my age and younger in my school as being "cute" or "hot." Being that our
nation is homophobic, I often have heard talk of how it is wrong to be gay
and like people of your same gender. With this in mind, I began to hate
myself for thinking these things. I would swing in and out of depression.

	In my eighth grade year, I met the fourth guy that I fooled around
with. I never really liked him from the start, because he was the kind of
person that is really annoying. Being a nice guy though, I put up with him,
which turned out to be a big mistake. He had me over his house a few
times. I forget how it started, but we would play games and do things that
would involve us getting barely clothed. I could tell that he was going
through the same thing I was, which was thinking that I was bisexual but
being too afraid to do anything serious with a guy. So we continued
this. There were times where we would just get on each other in our boxers
and just hump for a while. I started to have serious post-orgasmic regrets,
as I regarded this person as being very annoying. I was angry for doing
things with him, and I wished there was some way I could stop. I started to
get more and more depressed as time went on. Near the end of eighth grade,
I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. So I made up an excuse to hate
him and break all contact with him. It worked.

	So there I was, again without any people to experiment with. I used
this time up until the start of my freshman year to really think about who
I was. After the start of my freshman year, I finally made the conclusion
that I was bisexual. I had denied it all of these years because of how it
was regarded as being wrong, but I didn't care anymore. I was bi and there
was no changing it. I still didn't like it though. It would take an
extraordinary event to occur in my life to make me finally accept that
being bisexual was OK.

	At some point in time, I was at the movies with some friends. I
overheard two of them talking about this bisexual kid who went to the
public middle school (I attended Catholic schools). This was too good to be
true. A kid just like me? I had to meet him. I listened until I found out
his name, and then I was so happy about learning this new information that
I don't really remember what was said after that.

	I looked him up on ICQ, and sure enough he had an account. I didn't
add him at first though, because I was afraid of what it would be like. I
hadn't yet told anyone that I was bisexual, and the thought of doing so was
scary to say the least. Eventually, I built up the courage to add him. I
started talking to him and at first we just talked about things we liked. I
really wanted him to just tell me he was bi so I could out myself to him as
well. At this point in my life, I was ready for a serious long-term
relationship and I believed that he could be the one to have it with.

	Finally after a few days, it happened. Scott told me that he was
bisexual. I was so happy, because I had finally met another bisexual guy my
age. I waited until the perfect moment to tell him that I was bi. I did,
and his message portrayed the implication that he was as happy to meet me
as I was to meet him. So through this knowledge of each other's sexual
orientations, we basically had a newfound enjoyment in talking to each
other. We shared our opinions on things that we couldn't share with anyone
else. Well, I couldn't anyways. He was lucky enough to have friends that he
was out to, so he had a bunch of people to talk with. Since Scott was the
only person that knew I was bisexual, I had only him to talk to.

	Somewhere in all of this, I found out that this girl I occasionally
talked to on ICQ was a close friend of Scott. Since I knew Scott openly
talked about his sexuality with his close friends, I knew I could confide
my secrets regarding this with her. Her and I became friends, and often
talked about Scott on ICQ. I loved having someone to talk to about my
emotions, as it really helped me put my thoughts into words. The feedback
was nice as well.

	I had such high hopes for what might have happened between Scott
and me. Unfortunately and unknowingly, this made me very sensitive to any
type of confusion or mishap between us. I learned this the hard way. Since
he knew who I was and what I looked like, while I had no idea what he
looked like, I told him that he should introduce himself to me at a dance
we were both going to. I had no idea that he was shy though, as he seemed
very outgoing from our talks. The dance passed, and he didn't come up to
me. I had figured he didn't go. Sure enough however, he had. He wouldn't
give me a finite answer on ICQ as to his reason for not saying hi to me
either. I was heartbroken, as I thought that he didn't want to meet me. I
just went downstairs and cried. I must have cried for a half hour.

	Now this was strange for me as I am not the type of person who
cries often. The only times I generally cry are deaths of close family
members. But I was so sure that Scott and I would be instant matches and
that our relationship would be perfect that I failed to foresee anything
happening other than what I had envisioned in my mind.

	After that event, I began to read Scott differently. In my mind, he
went from being an outgoing kid to a shy kid. This helped me not to get too
depressed with this setback, as I simply told myself that he was just too
shy and nervous to approach me. I took it into my hands to meet him. I
managed to borrow a yearbook from a friend of mine, which I used to look up
Scott.

	A long time later, I finally saw him for the first time. It was at
a punk show in the town next to mine. He stands about 5 foot 4 or 5 inches
tall, has long black emo-style hair, has brown eyes (or so I think), is
thin, and just overall is handsome. I thought about going up to him so many
times, but I didn't on the grounds that he was shy and might be
uncomfortable, and also because I didn't want to make a bad first
impression. I wanted time to think about how to first approach him.

	To make sure I had picked out the right person, I asked him that
night on ICQ if he was indeed who I thought he was. I was indeed correct,
so I made a promise to myself to say hi to him next time I saw him. It was
at our first soccer practice, as I had been fortunate in getting on the
same team as him.

	This happened but a stroke of luck. He had joined the soccer team
of a town next to mine, but they hadn't had enough people sign up. So all
people who signed up for there got moved to my town's teams. And Scott was
on mine! I didn't even believe him when he first told me, but I found out
at the first practice that it was indeed true.

	Knowing that I had to keep my promise to myself and break the
glacial wall of ice between us, I thought of something to say to him. I
remember it quite well. He had gotten to practice a few minutes late, and
had missed running the lap around the field that the rest of us had
done. So I casually said to him "You so missed that fun lap we just ran."
He just grunted. This both saddened me and reaffirmed my belief that he was
shy. I decided not to let it get to me, as he was probably as afraid of
giving me a bad impression as I was with him. I may have said one more
thing to him that practice, but I don't know for sure.

	Now that I had gotten past that, I wanted to start getting to know
him better so we could be more open and less shy with each other in
public. We did this slowly, and for someone as impatient as me, it was a
rather grueling process.

	There was one night when a friend of mine asked me to hang out with
some people down in a town next to ours. When we got there, I was
stunned. There was Scott! For the next few hours, I would be hanging out
with Scott! I was ecstatic. This was the best coincidence ever. I loved
every minute of it. Even though we really didn't talk much (a few
sentences), I still loved it.

	I eventually decided that I needed to be more outgoing and less shy
with him. So I decided to casually drop the hint that I wanted to hang out
with him again sometime. He replied to it with "yes yes." I didn't quite
know whether this meant that he actually thought it would be a good idea or
if he meant something else by it. Scott is a hard kid to read.

	I really think he took my hints into consideration. The other day
in soccer practice when we paired up for a drill, he immediately chose me
for his partner. Needless to say I was amazed. I was so happy. That is the
one thing that makes me think that I'm getting through to him and that he's
willing to be in a relationship as well.

	I had a fun conversation with him one night. We were talking and he
mentioned that he was telling a story to one of his friends. I told him
that he should tell me a story too, as I knew I could turn it into an
erotic one. We both contributed to the completion of the piece, and I think
that it added something to our friendship that we were able to tell a story
together. True or not, it was a fun time for me, and I find it worthy of
mention.

	Tonight, I went to a punk show that he also attended. He was in his
group of friends and I was in mine, but we sometimes mixed and I got to say
a thing or two to him. I really don't like the fact that we don't talk much
in public, and I hope it changes soon. I really like him and want to be
with him.

	Tomorrow night, there is a play at the high school in the town next
to mine. Scott loves plays, as do I, so I have been considering asking him
to go to it with me. I'm just afraid that he won't want a one on one thing
happening yet. Maybe I'll find a way to have some of his friends come along
to make it more comfortable for him. Who knows, I may not even ask him.

	That's where my story ends for now. I will be sure to add more as
it happens. I may choose to wait until I have a fair bit written before I
upload it, but be patient, it will come.