Date: Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:13:31 -0500
From: Ty McConkey <messenger_of_memory@hotmail.com>
Subject: Broken ch 5

Chapter Five - Powerless

He tried to get escape, flailing his limbs in every direction, hoping that
he could break free and escape this nightmare. The eyes that seemed to
penetrate to the very core of his soul and the hands that refused to
acknowledge that 'No' meant 'No'. Allen felt the vile creature on top of
him, no matter what he did or how loud he screamed, nothing seemed to
change. No one came running to help, Allen was alone with him

Kyle straddled Allen's chest, refusing to allow him up, afraid that their
fun would end. Kyle finally managed to capture both of Allen's wrists with
his hands, which brought his face a breath away from Allen's.

"I love it when you play hard to get gorgeous" Kyle said sweetly "But I
always get what I want in the end."

Kyle leaned down ever so slowly and then placed his lips on top of
Allen's. No matter how hard Allen tried, he couldn't manage to turn his
head and break the kiss. It was like his body was frozen, it refused to
listen to any command.

The feel of Kyle's lips disgusted Allen. They brought with them the
memories of the first time and the thoughts of what was going to happen
next. Allen was scared, he felt powerless. His body refused to listen to
him, there was nothing he could do to escape the torment that Kyle was
going to inflict on his soul.

If only Allen could let out one more scream, maybe someone would hear and
come rescue him but like his body, his voice refused too. It was like his
body knew what was going to happen, knew there was no point in fighting
because fighting was futile and just gave up before the fight even began.

Finally Allen felt Kyle's lips give up on the assault to his lips but to
his horror, Kyle started to move down his body, kissing his way down till
he made it to Allen's nipples. Kyle made sure that they got special
attention.

Allen was devastated that his body betrayed his heart and seemed to respond
to Kyle's attention. Allen did the only thing that he still had control of,
he closed his eyes, in a vain hope that would make everything stop.

Kyle's assault seemed to end abruptly at Allen's waist.

"Looks like someone is enjoying themselves" Kyle chuckled.

Allen's eyes flew open at Kyle's chuckle, still his body refused to
budge. He'd give anything to stop this from happening.

Allen watched helplessly as Kyle moved to claim the prize that he wanted
desperately. Kyle presented his Trojan horse to Allen's gate, waiting for
it to be accepted. Tears rained down Allen's face, the pain was unbearable.

Allen's eyes locked with Kyle's and before Allen's eyes Kyle's face started
to shift. It turned into Matt's, he finally found his voice and he screamed
and started to flail again.

"Allen ... Allen ...wake...wake up" he heard.

Matt was trying to shake Allen awake but the nightmare still had a grasp on
Allen's mind. He couldn't understand that something so real was but a
dream.

"Allen, you were just having a nightmare" Matt said soothingly

"No. No it was so real, I couldn't do anything" Allen said sobbing.

The dam was broken and Allen couldn't control the water works. He had been
so scared, finally his brain had processed Matt's words and realized that
they were the truth, he clung to Matt like he was a life line.

Matt tried to calm Allen but had no success so he just wrapped his arms
around him and held him and let him weep. It hurt to see Allen in pain but
he couldn't try to fix it until Allen calmed down and talked out the
nightmare.

"It's ok, it was just a dream, and I won't let anyone ever hurt you" Matt
promised.

"Ever?" Allen asked through hiccups.

"Never ever" Matt promised.

The tears slowly subsided, Allen eventually got his breathing under
control. The warm feeling of being safe in Matt's arms was slowly being
eaten away by the thoughts of his nightmare and what had brought on the
likes of that nightmare.

Fear was creeping up his spine, he wished he could push it aside and forget
about it, he wanted to have faith in Matt, trust the promise that Matt made
but what if Matt couldn't or worse wouldn't after everything came to light.

"Come on, you can tell me" Matt pleaded as he ran his hand in a cycle on
Allen's back, hoping it had some soothing effect.

Allen buried his head into Matt's chest, he did feel safe in Matt's arms
and it scared him. He took a deep breath and pulled his head away from the
warming resting place. He was taking a chance he didn't know he had the
strength to see through.

"Do you remember the other day, how Kyle invited us over to hang out?"
Allen began.

"Yeah" Matt answered not really understanding where this was heading.

"You couldn't go but you told me to go anyway, that it'd be good to hang
out with someone else." Allen continued.

A feeling started to grow in Matt, he remembered saying that, how he had
pushed Allen to go, thinking it was what Allen needed, but what had that to
do with the nightmare, Matt couldn't figure out.

"When I arrived, he said that we were going to go up to his room and play
some video games." Allen stated

"Who else went?" Matt inquired.

Allen took a moment before he answered.

"Just me" Allen replied.

The feeling in Matt's stomach was starting to grow and he didn't quite
understand why yet. Allen took another deep breath and then continued.

"He said that we were going to play games in his room, we went up and got
comfortable. We played a few rounds, and then he did something I didn't
expect. "

Curiosity had captivated Matt, what could Kyle have done. He waited for
Allen to say but he wasn't so forth coming. He did the only thing he could
do, he asked.

"What did he do?"

Allen shifted a little so that he could see Matt's face.

"He kissed me and ...." Allen painfully.

Shock, jealous and even anger ran through Matt, it was not what he
expected. He felt a giant desire to hurt Kyle, Allen was his, no matter
what happened.

Allen mistook the look to mean that Matt was disgusted with him and tried
to pull away afraid of how Matt would react when he told him what happened
next. Matt refused to let Allen go, it felt like that was where Allen
belonged.

"No don't move hun, this is where you belong. I'm just jealous that he got
to kiss you first." Matt expressed quietly and relevantly calm for someone
who just have a bomb drop on them.

Allen seemed to relax a little but he was still scared of how Matt would
take the rest. The idea of the absolute rejection was killing him, how
could someone love someone who was broken. Things that were broken were
thrown aside and replaced as soon as possible.

"What else did he do?" Matt asked, steeling himself.

"He ... h-" Allen started but was interrupted by the sound of Matt's cell
phone ringing from the night stand where he had put it the night before.

"Sorry" Matt said before he reached over and answered it, there was only
one person that would call him that early and he knew he was in trouble.

"Hello?" Matt said

"Didn't we have a talk about calling if you're not coming home mister" Eliz
jabbed.

Matt felt guilty, he should have but he totally forgot, he had been so
absorbed into Allen. He felt horrible, she probably was up half the night
worrying about him. Allen tried again to get up out of Matt's arms but Matt
had his one arm securely around Allen, he placed a kiss on Allen's forehead
to reassure him that he was fine there and answered his mother.

"I'm sorry Mom, I really forgot. I know I promised."

Allen felt bad that Matt was in trouble because of him but the look that
Matt was giving him soon made that feeling disappear, he was loved enough
that a little trouble meant nothing.

"Well mister, we'll talk more when you get home from school, I better let
you go get ready." His mother said

"Mom?" Matt trying to stall.

"No mister, you're not staying over again." She said as if she could read
his mind from that great distance.

"But-" Matt started but was cut off.

"No buts honey, you're to come straight home" Eliz stated strongly

Matt wasn't backing down, he refused to let Allen be alone, the mere idea
scared him and if he couldn't stay here then Allen was coming home with
him, no matter what his mother said.

"Fine but I'm bringing Allen" he stated just as firm.

Eliz and Allen were both surprised at the firmness of Matt's words, Eliz
knew there was no point in arguing with her elder son, he was stubborn just
like his mother at times, this being one of those times. Her interest was
piqued though, she wondered why he wouldn't leave Allen's side. Eliz kept
her questions to herself, she'd wait and see if she could figure it out
tonight. A idea already forming in the back of her mind.

"Okay" She told Matt.

"Or if that's not oka-" Matt tried to say but realization of his mother's
words finally hit him his words just died. He hadn't expected that his
mother would agree so quickly.

"Okay?" he questioned, wondering if he heard right.

"Yes hun, I said okay. Now get ready for school, I'll see you both after
school." she said "Remember Straight home"

They both said a quick good bye and Matt hung up and tossed his cell onto
the bed. Matt looked at Allen's alarm clock and noticed his mother was
right, they had better start getting ready. But Allen had ideas.

"I'm fine, I don't need a baby sitter Matt, I promise I won't try to you
know ..." Allen said defensively

"End your life" Matt said bluntly "No I made a promise and I plan to keep
it even if it means protecting you from yourself"

Allen felt the pain in Matt's words, he was responsible. Sitting there with
the razor in his hand, he never thought how it'd affect the people around
him. Now he realized that it was a permanent answer to a fleeting problem.

"It would have killed me to have lost you, even as a friend. You mean so
much to me" Matt stated with tears in the corner of his eyes.

Allen took his thumb and wiped away the tears before they had a chance to
fall. He leaned in and shared a passionate kiss with Matt.

"I'm sorry" Allen said.

He knew that wasn't going to fix everything but it was a beginning.

*** *** ***

Fear is one of the most powerful weapons. It has amazing power over
everyone at some point in their lives. But only someone that is truly evil
and without a conscience would use someone else's fear against them without
a second thought. Someone who had forsaken their own heart just to get what
they wanted.

Someone like that has been consumed by the deadly sins. These people would
sell their own mother to achieve their goals, it's disgusting.

Kyle sat in the very loud and crowded cafeteria and watched what was going
on across the room. Something was different between Matt and Allen. Kyle
didn't like what he saw and he would have to put a stop to it before it got
worse. He would fight for what he believed was rightfully his. He had laid
claim first, he had taken Allen's virginity, not Matt.

He knew he had to remind Allen of this, he was not going to share him, he
refused. Especially with Matt, definitely Matt, he'd make sure of it. He
stood up and threw out the rest of his lunch, no longer hungry. He needed
the time anyways to hatch a plan, his eyes locked onto a poster on the
wall, a plan was beginning to form. A chance was but waiting for him, only
a fool wouldn't take it.

*** *** ***

Allen had noticed Kyle watching them at lunch, he had lost his appetite
after that. Matt had noticed but didn't say anything. Allen never got the
chance to finish his story that morning, Matt's mom had interrupted it and
then they had to hurry and get ready. The best thing about that morning was
being able to see Matt naked even if it was because Matt refused to allow
him to shower alone.

A blush flashed on his face, just the thought of Matt naked made his heart
race and something else to rise. Allen tried to discreetly rearrange
himself into a comfortable position but it wasn't missed by Matt. It seemed
to bring a smile on Matt's face as if he knew what Allen was thinking
about.

Allen's thoughts were interrupted when he was nudged in the shoulder.

"I said, are you sure you're feeling better? You barely touched your food"
inquired Mark.

Mark was someone that Matt and he sometimes shared lunch with, when he
wasn't sitting with his other friends. Matt and Allen didn't really know
his other friends, they had seen them around and shared a class or two but
never really spoken more than one or two words let alone a full sentence.

Mark wasn't the only one they shared their table with, sometimes Eric,
Matt's brother sat with them and until recently Jennifer did too. Sometimes
Eric or Mark would bring a friend but usually that wasn't often, no matter
who was there Allen normally wasn't much into the conversations of late so
was surprised when Mark was talking to him.

"Yeah, was just thinking" Allen said as he stabbed a fry and cheese curd
with his fork and then popped it in his mouth.

"About?" Mark inquired further

The blush returned to Allen's face even brighter than the last time.

"Nothing" Allen said as the blush burned on his face.

"Doesn't look like nothing" Mark teased

"Was someone day dreaming about someone" Mark continued

Allen's cheeks seem to burn even hotter and it only seemed to make Mark and
Matt smile harder. Matt knew that Mark had hit the mark on the spot and was
enjoying watching him tease Allen about it. It seemed to have lifted
Allen's mood somewhat.

"I know I'm gorgeous Allen but I'm taken, I don't think my girlfriend would
approve." Mark said teasingly

Allen choked on some fries which seemed to make the two other guys
laugh. After he managed to swallow the fries, he smiled, two could play
this game.

"Sorry Mark to disappoint but I like real men." Allen chirped back

"Burn dude" Matt said.

All three were soon laughing their heads off, Matt was pleased to see a
smile upon Allen's face. It seemed to relieve some of the anxiety that Matt
had. It seemed to help restore Allen's appetite too. When they left finally
left to get ready for their next classes, Allen was stuffed and rather
relaxed, more than he had been in what seemed a while.

Between each class Matt was always there to walk Allen to his next, Allen
thought it was sweet and appreciated seeing Matt's smiling face greeting
him at the door. It made it easier to make it through his classes, knowing
that at the end of the class he'd glaze upon an angel, his angel.

Allen was having trouble controlling himself, the desire to kiss Matt at
times was really over powering. He had to shake his head and remind himself
that he was at school and he wasn't ready to be out, if he ever would be
ready for that.

One of those moments was when they were at Allen's locker. Matt was leaning
on Allen's neighbour's locker and was just chatting away, he looked so damn
sexy. Allen distracted, opened his locker and was brought back to reality
when he noticed out of the corner of his eye a piece of paper fall to the
floor.

The paper was folded with his name written on it, but it wasn't his writing
nor Matt's. Curiosity sparked but they were in a hurry, Matt's mom expected
them home soon so he picked it up and stuffed it in his bag with his
homework. He'd investigate it out later, he wondered who it could be.

Matt was just as curious but he kept it to himself for the moment. They
walked over to Matt's locker so that he too could swap his stuff and then
they could head home. Allen wondered as he watched Matt dig through his
locker how mad Matt's mom would be.

Matt and Allen had been friends since well forever so he knew Matt's mom
well. Allen wouldn't call her strict, she had rules and believed they
should be followed but that was only to ensure her kids stayed save and so
she didn't have to worry.

She was the type of mother he wished his was, instead he got graced with
one that didn't give a damn. Eliz always made him feel welcome in her
house, always asked him about his grades or how his day went, just thinking
about her made his heart beam with love but dread soon marched in. What
would she think if she ever found out that he loved her son like boys were
supposed to like girls, would she be disappointed or be elated, probably
disappointed. Would all the years and all the memories that all shared mean
nothing, would she hate her own son for what he was, only time knew and it
was silent.

 Allen was knocked out of his thoughts by the sound of Matt's locker
clicked shut. He ran over a mental list of everything he needed tonight,
just to make sure he had everything. Allen didn't want to stay too long at
Matt's house. He still needed to tell him about Kyle and he feared Matt
wouldn't want him around after either. Allen was a little nervous, Eliz
always knew when something was wrong and could easily pluck it out of him.

The ride to Matt's was quick, he only lived a few blocks away from the
school. Allen parked on the side of the street in front of Matt's place
like he usually did when he came over and just sat there for a few
moments. He was in a kind of daze so when Matt leaned over he didn't notice
but he sure did feel the nice warm soft lips kiss his.

"Come on, we'll go up to my room so we can talk some more" Matt said after
breaking the kiss.

Allen wanted more of those lips, it was quickly becoming an addiction to
him, they tasted, well tasted like Matt. It was so tough not to steal
another taste of them.

Allen finally unbuckled his seat beat and got out before he attacked Matt
and ravaged his sexy body. Matt followed suit and got out too and followed
right behind to the front door. They both took off their shoes as soon as
they got in and was met by Eliz, Matt's mom and an amazing smell.

"Kettle's on boys, there's also fresh cookies. Help yourself to a few."
Eliz said shuffling them to the kitchen.

The whole house was filled with the smell of fresh baked cookies, it
brought with it a nice warm feeling in each of the boys. Eliz's cookies
were mouth watering goodness, nothing could compare. It was a simple recipe
she had shown her boys and Allen a number of times but no matter how many
times they tried they were never the same.

She always quipped that love was just as important as the next
ingredient. The young boys didn't quite get what she was saying, how could
love be put in a cookie. Looking at the plate on the counter Matt finally
got what she meant so long ago. Nothing blossomed correctly without love.

Matt grabbed three mugs, one for each of them and popped a tea bag into
each and then steeped them. After a few moments he tossed the bags away and
poured in what each took in their tea before handing it to each person.

Just as baking was entwined in their growing up so was tea, it was the
cure-all for all. If Matt had an upset stomach, Eliz gave him tea, if Eric
was having trouble sleeping after a nasty nightmare, she'd give him tea
too. It was what her mother taught her, who was taught by her mother and so
forth.

While Matt had brewed the tea, Eliz had set each placement with a saucer,
she served herself a couple of cookies while she gave the boys five
each. The boys could work the extra calories off unlike her, they went
straight to her thighs, oh to be young and able to eat anything.

"Now will someone please tell me what's been going on?" Eliz demanded

"No-" Matt tried to say before he was cut off by his mother.

"Don't even think about saying nothing mister" she stated "I know something
has be bothering both of you."

She turned and looked at Allen. "You haven't been around in a while and
normally you practically live here, and you" She said turning in Matt's
direction. "Have been locked in your room, only to come out to scurry over
to Allen's, without permission I might add."

Silence followed, they knew they were stuck between a rock and a hard
place. Matt looked at Allen and Allen locked eyes with Matt. After a moment
Matt turned and looked at his mother and looked her in the eye and took a
deep. It felt like something was stuck in his throat.

"I'm gay" Eliz heard, she turned toward the statement and was a little
shocked.

"What?!" came from the doorway of the kitchen, the voice startling them.



_______________________________________________

Hey everyone,

I know it's been a while, work has been killer. I finally squeezed in
enough time to work on the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. A lot of you
wanted an email to alert you when there was a new chapter, I'm sorry you
didn't receive one. I had a tech problem and all my emails were erased :( A
big help with this chapter was some new music that came out recently :)
It's nice to refresh the playlist once in a while. I am hoping that I can
get another chapter out soon but that all depends on work. I thank you for
your patience, I know it gets to be a little of a wait sometimes. Hope
everyone is doing good, if you ever need to talk, just send an email, I
always have time for emails :)



Take care.