Date: Sat, 25 Mar 2006 04:12:19 +0000
From: Violete Marut <violete001@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bulimia 6

I was in the bathroom,water running and me throwing up my Christmas dinner
into the toilet.My grandpa was so proud of me when I ate everything he put
on my plate.Now I was puking up everything,everything and more.After I
finished I actually decided to take a bath.I never took baths.But in this
goth environment of my grandparents house the prospect of taking a bath
excited me.I got into the hot water.I lay back and enjoyed the sensations
that made their way all over my body.Suddenly my silence and peace was
interrupted by my mother's very loud screaming.She was yelling as if
somebody was about to kill her.What and idiot,I thought to myself.Probably
saw a mouse or something.I tried to concentrate on the warm water and even
begun touching myself but after a while the screams just got too annoying.I
angrily hurried out of the bath,almost braking my leg in the process.I put
on a robe and went to see what she was screaming about.When I came into her
room she was surrounded by grandma and a few aunts.Suddenly I kinda felt out
of place as I was the only boy.She was crying not screaming anymore.

"Calm down Grace,"said one of my aunts.

"How can I calm down,I just saw somebody peeking through my window.For all I
know he might have wanted to kill me.If you saw the madness in his eyes,"my
mother said breaking into a really annoying cry.

I left the room and went downstairs.I saw my grandma standing by the window

"Granny,what's going on?"

"Ahhhh Aiden.This place is cursed honey."

"What do you mean"

"There's always some madness around here.I wanted to move but your
grandpa...stubborn man." Are you crazy woman,this is our home.We're not
going to move just because a few maniacs live around here "I knew it was
going to come to this"

"Don't worry,it's probably mum overreacting"

Grandma laughed at that.I liked her humor.I liked that she didn't mind my
evil spirited remarks.She made me feel normal.And she was such a beautiful
woman.Everyone told me I got my lips after her.I loved her lips,they were so
pretty to look at.And her beautiful old fashioned way of dressing,almost
always black.

"Come here baby," she said to me.I obeyed and hugged her really tightly.She
was moving her hands through my hair.I could have fallen asleep right
then,but instead I saw a light.At the same time her hand stopped moving.We
looked at each other and hurried out the door.The light was coming from the
forest but seemed to go in two directions.

"You go this way and I''ll go here,"I said pointing the directions to my
granny.

"No Aiden,it's not safe"

"Grandpa is in the woods isn't he?"

"Yes,but he can deal with it himself"

"No he can't,you know it.This is about his life.Now let's go" She still
looked unsure but we went our separate ways.I didn't even have a flashlight
but I knew this forest like I knew my own pocket.I spent every winter
playing over here..I had nothing to worry about,I kept telling myself.But my
heart was racing madly,I thought it was gonna get out from my chest.I was
running,not too fast,so as not to trip,but not too slow either.Finally I saw
the light.I hurried towards it but again it disappeared after a few
minutes.Now I was in the middle of a forest at 12 a clock at night without a
flashlight..not a very good scenario ,is it?I jumped up and screamed as I
felt a hand on my shoulder followed by a hand on my mouth to stop my
screaming.I calmed down when I saw the deep green pools of Cal's eyes.

"They're running after me Bastian"

"Who?"

"THEY"

The confused look on my face must have told him that I didn't have a fucking
clue of what he was talking about.

"It doesn't matter Bastian..I need your help"

"My name is not Sebastian"I said confused

He looked at me like I was talking in Chinese.

"I said it doesn't fucking matter," he yelled and threw me away from him.I
stumbled back and tripped over some bush.I hit the back of my head pretty
hard.Then it happened.My first and only epileptic fit.It lasted only a few
minutes,and I don't exactly remember much.All I know is that when I finally
came he wasn't there anymore.I was in the middle of a big forest at night
without a flashlight ,alone.I fainted.When I woke up again I was in bed.My
mother was by my side.

"Baby..oh baby,"she started crying and kissing my face

"EWWWWW GRACE get away"

"Oh baby I was so worried about you..We're leaving today"

"WHAT!?"

"We're leaving this evil place behind baby"

"No..No Grace we're not"

"Honey you almost died yesterday.I can't take anymore chances.I already
called for a taxi.We're leaving"

"You leave all you want.I don't want to leave"

She looked at me like I was purple or something.I rolled my eyes and got
up.And awful pain in the back of my head made me lay back down though.I
grunted.

"Fine.We'll stay for a few more days..until you get better"

"We're staying till the break is over"

With that I turned around and pretended to go to sleep.When after a few
minutes my very confused mother got out of my room I slowly got up on my
feet.I couldn't just lay here and try to feel better when Cal was somewhere
out there,hurting.After the initial pain I started putting on my clothes.I
very quietly sneaked out of the house and made my way over to the lake.There
was no one in sight so I just sat down.I looked into my reflection in the
ice frozen water.

"If you look long enough you'll see somebody else's face"

Cal.

I closed my eyes.I felt him sit next to me.

"That's why I never look anymore.I always see somebody else."

"You left me yesterday," I said and immediately felt like a whiny bitch.Why
was I talking about myself when he needed my help.

"Oh Sebastian,"he sighed"It's so awful..they keep haunting me like mad.The
voices night and day and night and day.Yesterday I was just simply eating my
dinner with my dad and at some point I looked into his face and ..." he
gulped " and he had digits in his face.Digits and patterns I've never seen
before.It scared me so much I ran out of the house.It was dark outside and
then I heard them.They slice silence...their morbid voices never
leave,Bastian,never,"he said looking at me with such conviction that I
immediately believed every single word he had said."So I tried to look for
you,because you're my angel..I thought you could make them stop.And then I
heard gunshots and I knew that they were after me.So I ran and ran and
ran.And then I see you in the middle of the forest,my angel.All I wanted to
do was for you to understand how I feel but when you looked at me like you
didn't understand..I just lost it.And I pushed you and then I felt so guilty
I had to run away.I thought you would never forgive me.Oh Bastian please
forgive me angel" He said crying

"shhh,"I whispered soothingly and hugged him.

"You are all that matters,you're the only one who can save me.I'm afraid of
dying,really afraid"

"I would die for you"

"Would you," he asked me is a raspy voice which came as new to me

"In a heartbeat"

He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against mine.

We kissed,slowly,shyly.It wasn't a wild make out.It was a sweet kiss.A kiss
you give someone you love.I believed him.I believed that he loved me.

"Will you help me?" he asked.Instead of an answer I nibbled on his lower
lip,very gently,almost unnoticebly.