Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006 01:06:31 +0000
From: Violete Marut <violete001@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bulimia 7

I was on my knees,mouthing a prayer.I was in a church with my grandma.The
church,like my grandparents house,was very Gothic.There were about five
people inside.Everything was quiet and the windows were open so that you
heard the wind outside.It had a very peaceful atmosphere about it.The cross
with Jesus crucified was very big and all wooden.It wasn't like most of
those fake crosses.This one was made out of real wood and it wasn't even
polished.Jesus,on the other hand,looked like he was made out of the most
expansive and delicate porcelain.It was really beautiful and I couldn't stop
staring.My eyes taking in the brutality and simplicity of the whole thing
together.
"I'll wait outside honey," said my grandma and I noticed she was ready to
go.
"It's fine,I'm done,"I said,all though truly inside I wanted to stay
forever.I wanted to pray ,and look, and feel safe.I wanted the wind from
outside to tickle my face and the breeze to mess up my perfect new dyed
blond locks.I felt beautiful inside that church.I felt like I belonged,for
the first time in my fucking life I belonged somewhere.This church was as
lonely as I was.
"Oh okay,well let's go" she whispered and I followed her out.
"Helen" I said
"yes sweetheart"
"Are the rumors about the lake true"
"What rumors?" she asked innocently.
"You know..about the children."
"oh..that.Well yes ,they are."
"And?Did did they caught the person who did it."
My grandma looked very sad and thoughtful.The wind messing up her perfect
hair.I looked a lot like her.
"Well the story goes like this : We had a neighbor called Mr.Truman who had
2 sons.One,Aaron,was the perfect student,the perfect athlete,the perfect
social person.He was just an all around boy.The other one,Damien,was an
outcast.He was never a very good student.His father gave him a hard time
about it.He was always out shadowed by Aaron,in everything.He started
drinking heavily and probably doing all those other things.You know
narcotics and such." I inwardly giggled at my grandma. "One day a child
disappeared from the park.A week after that another one got lost.Over the
next weeks another 4 were kidnapped.The town was going crazy,the parents
were going insane.People looked everywhere.The only one who didn't seemed
fazed by the whole thing was Cal,but that didn't surprise anyone because he
just was like that.Anyway..a few days after the last disappearance someone
saw something in the lake and that led to finding all the six children in
there.They were all murdered."
"Wow...Damien did it?"
"Yes"
"What happened to him?"
"He first confessed to his father.He said that he did it,but that there was
no evidence so he was going to go free.His father took his pistol and shot
Damien straight in the heart"
I couldn't believe it.I was left speechless and as we reached home grandma
gave me a sympathetic look and let me in through the door.To kill your own
son.Your own blood.Jesus Christ,how awful that must me.But what shocked me
even more was when I found Cal in the kitchen making lunch with my mother.I
looked from him to my mom back and forth until both of them laughed.
"Your friend came when you were at the church and I told him he could wait
for you," Grace said.
"oh" was all I could mumble.
"Aren't you going to invite him upstairs?"
"uhhh yeah,duuuh!...c'mon" I said.
This was just a little too much for me.I had the boy of my dreams in my
house following me to my room.This was better than all my erotic dreams put
together.
I opened the door to my room and headed straight for the bed.I sat and
waited for him to join me,but he just stood in the doorway,leaning against
the door frame,and looking at me with a smirk.
"What?" I asked
"This is a nice view"
I didn't really know what he meant but I smiled anyway.Just the sound of his
voice send shivers down my spine.I was shivering a little and he noticed.
"Cold?"
"Yeah a bit," I lied.
He finally came in,closing the door behind him and sitting on the bed next
to me.He put his arm around me and I leaned in.
"Better now baby?"
OMFG he just called me baby.This was so good.This was driving me insane.I
couldn't help the goofy grin that made its way across my whole face.I just
nodded in answer and he kissed the top of my head.That just made me melt.
"Your mom is really nice,all though she's very twitchy"
I laughed.How I hated Grace.
"Yeah,don't mind her"
We fell into a small silence and he kissed my head again.This time lingering
a little longer.
"I feel really good today you know.I think it has something to do with you"
I looked up at him "Really?"
He smiled "Yeah"
I bit my lip.He leaned in close.My heart started beating hopelessly fast.I
was afraid.He tried to kiss me but I pulled away.Jesus I was so inept.He
just looked at me a little confused but didn't say anything.He put his arm
around me really tight,like he was afraid that I would run away or
something.I felt so disgusted with myself.I couldn't even kiss the guy I've
been obsessing over for months.I didn't even fucking have to do
anything,except lean in.But no,I had to be a total pussy and blow it.I just
wanted to be buried under the ground.My eyes got watery and he asked if I
was gonna start crying.I said no.He kissed my cheek and said "I kiss you way
too much".