Date: Mon, 30 Dec 2002 13:05:42 -0500
From: Cyprien Reed <reed@dreamwriter.us>
Subject: BURRHEAD, Chapter 5, Goodbye to All That

Chapter 5
Goodbye to All That

"You can fuck me," I hear myself telling Mike.

I hardly know where this is coming from. I've never seen any reason to want
a dick up my ass (and besides, my cousin said it hurt). I admit, though, I
sure like the way it feels to have an ass wrapped around my dick. And, I
don't know... Mike really wants to fuck somebody...and I think I would let
him do anything to me. I can't believe I'm saying that.

There was nobody home when we got here, which I expected, since Mom went to
work with Dad today so I could use her car. Mike was still drunk--not crazy
like he'd been at Donny's this afternoon--but flying pretty high. I figured
he was still aching to unload, and, sure enough, he started to take up
where we'd left off just before things fell apart with me and him and
Donny.

He has most of his clothes off by the time we get into my bedroom, his dick
sticking straight out, bobbing up toward his navel. I remember he had that
I've-just showered look this morning, but by now he's starting to smell
like a boy who's been working out all afternoon. I still don't know if I
love it or hate it, but I know it makes me at least as drunk as he is.

Mike's straddling my chest, supporting his weight by leaning against the
wall above my bed, and trying to fuck my mouth. I hold onto his hips, or
knead the cheeks of his ass. Sometimes I take as much of him in as I can,
but I'm also playing with him the way Donny plays with me. It's fun to pull
his foreskin part of the way back and lick around under it, where he's so
untouched and tastes so amazing. I can't get enough of this, but makes him
squirm like hell. He pulls his dick out, bends over and lays a wet kiss on
me, "Reed...please let me cum...it hurts." I want that kiss too much. I
hang onto the back of his neck, trying to keep his mouth next to
mine. That's when I say it.

"You can fuck me."

He goes completely still for two beats before he asks, "You mean it? In
your ass?"

"No. In my ear, butthole!" I'm laughing but I wonder if I know what the
hell I'm getting myself into. His grin is so huge and so close to my face I
can see nothing but teeth. He kisses me hard enough to make my lips bleed,
his tongue touching more of the inside of me than I knew could be touched,
that lanky body pressing into mine, all the way down to his feet. I am in
paradise. Scared as hell, but in paradise.

"You gotta go easy, Burrhead; Nobody's ever fucked me. I've never even
wanted to get fucked, and I'm not one hundred percent sure I do now, but I
wanna try."

"Never with Donny? You just fuck him? Why now...why with me?" He has that
stunned, proud look of a kid who's just caught his first pop fly.

"Don't ask stupid questions, and don't look a gift horse in the
mouth. There's suntan lotion in the bathroom. Stay put."

When I walk back into the bedroom, he's squatting on his heels on my bed
trying to keep his grin from taking over his face. I've never seen anything
sexier in my life than this big, wound-up animal with a dick wrapped up in
a package of slinky skin. A dick that's about to be up my ass. Oh fuck I'm
scared! And I WANT him.

I squirt the Coppertone onto my hand and rub my palms together to warm it
up before I reach for his dick. His eyes narrow and then roll back as the
greasy smell of beach perfume surrounds us. I put a gob of it on my ass and
try to shove a little bit inside. Holy shit! I've never put my finger up my
ass before; it barely fits. How am I gonna get that fence post up me? I
just keep thinking there has to be some way. It's clear Donny loves it when
I fuck him; it must be okay. I try to put myself in his place.

I lie on my back, draw my knees up to my shoulders and pull Mike on top of
me. "You gotta go really slow," I plead.

"I'll do whatever you tell me." He's a puppy looking for my asshole with
the slippery head of his dick. His face breath is shallow, eyes darting all
over the place, exploding with energy and glee. I do my best to relax until
I feel him pushing against the right spot.

"Kiss me, you goddamned fool," I insist. "You're getting ready to get my
cherry." He gives me a great, long, tender kiss that makes me feel like the
most important part of him has always been inside me. Who cares if this
might hurt?

"There...right there," I say. "Yeah, just rub the head of your dick around
it for a second, then push...just a little, then bring it out. Oh yeah,
that's right. No...bring it out again. Yeah...yeah, just push a little
harder each time. NO! NOT LIKE THAT! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...oh fuck
that hurts! Gimme a second...  Look, I always have to go really slow with
Donny at the beginning...don't expect to shove your whole dick up me as
soon as the head gets in. It's like there's this tight place that's really
hard to get past, but after that, if you wait like a minute, I think I'll
be able to handle it. Try again."

A thin sheen of sweat is starting to make Mike's face glow. I want to lick
it off. I can't believe that; why would I want to lick sweat?! I do it,
just as the head of his dick is pushing against me again. I want this so
bad. I wish it didn't feels so much like he was driving a schoolbus up my
asshole. "Wait, Mike; just stay still for a sec." I can do it. I know it
gets better. Think about that look on Donny's face.

"Oh...that's better...that's a lot better. Oh, man...oh Mike...I can't
believe you're inside me." Now I'm the one grinning my ass off -- so happy,
so proud. I can't believe a dick can feel so big, and I can't believe how
much I like it. Everything becomes this point of contact between us where
my body is being forced open to take his. It gets better with every stroke,
except I feel so filled-up by his tongue and his dick that I think I might
explode.

I'm hanging onto Mike as hard as I can, not sure whether to laugh or cry
about how much of him there is and how much of it is inside me. He's
starting to fuck in earnest, moving from his hips, taking long strokes,
then short ones. This feels good, except when he plunges all the way into
my ass, which makes me think I am going to die. This is not a kind of
experience I could have described before; it's nothing like being the one
doing the fucking. I think his dick's going to come out of my ears, and I'm
starving hungry for him at the same time. I want him inside me, around me,
over me, through me. I WANT.

Mike's sweating as hard as he's fucking, his face red and
glistening. "Reed," he starts to mutter, "Reed...Reed...I'm
gonna...Oh...Reed...oh, Reed!" He is one huge muscle that's trying to climb
into me through my ass, and I'm going to let him. He'll be completely
inside me, flailing and crying and gasping for air.

He suddenly gets quiet. I can't see his eyes because his head is thrown
back. His mouth is open like he's screaming or crying, but there's no
sound. Then he...I don't know what to call it...he roars. In one sweep, the
solid, wet arch of his body collapses onto my chest. He's panting like he
just came off the track but, at the same time, he's sobbing – big
wailing cries that rock both of us. I hold him as tight as I can, bury my
face in salt-slippery sweat of his neck and just hang on. I don't know why
he's crying; I've never seen anybody cry like this; but, somehow, I think
he's okay.

In a few minutes the sobbing stops, and he just lies there on my chest,
holding onto me almost as hard as I'm holding onto him. When he eases his
grip on my, I let him pull away, which he does just enough to look at
me. He's a mess, red-faced, wet-eyed, nose dripping. I can't help but
grin. "What happened to you?"

"Shit, man, I don't know. It's like something inside me broke loose. I
couldn't do anything about it. I'm sorry. I can't believe I'm acting like
such a girl."

"Yeah...all the girls that fuck me in the ass cry like that," I quip. Then
I pull him to me and kiss him lightly. "You okay?"

He puts his finger on my lips, then pushes them open until I start to suck
on the tip of it. I open my teeth and go all the way down on it. He
exhales, closes his eyes for a second and gives himself to me. Then he
shakes his head, chuckles, wipes his eyes, and beams, "Guess who's not a
virgin anymore."

"Well, neither one of us, I'd say. Cherries poppin everywhere."

"Yeah, well...You get mine; I get yours. I call us even."

"Not yet, bud. We'll be even when you're down here with my dick up your
ass."

"Oh shit! Am I'm supposed to say, 'You can fuck me too,' " he asks in a
tone of voice that might be playful, might be serious. I don't really care,
just at this second, to tell the truth.

"You can have ten minutes to figure it out," I say. "But for now, just take
your dick out so I can breathe again; then stay right here on top of me."

"You're too much, Reed; you're a fucking miracle," he whispers, smiling
again, kissing me again...again...again. I can't believe this. How can such
a roughneck be so tender with another boy? How did I get to be the boy
under that huge frame? Please don't stop, Mike. Please don't ever stop.
...

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

We are awakening from paradise into the brightly lit hell of my father at
the foot of my bed. Groggy, disoriented, dumbstruck, we barely look at each
other before we start to scramble. We don't know whether to cover up, run,
or fight; but we know we're busted.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN BED TOGETHER NAKED? HAVE I GOT QUEERS ON MY
HANDS?"

"Dad, we're not...it's just..."

"YOU'RE NOT WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE IN HERE?"

"Mr. Stevens," Mike tries.

"SHUT UP, FAGGOT. GET SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR SKINNY ASS AND GET THE FUCK
HOME. I'LL TAKE THIS UP WITH YOUR FATHER."

"Dad..."

He catches me on the side of the head hard enough to make everything go
gray. I can hear Mike yelling, "Mr. Stevens. Mr. Stevens, don't do
that. DON'T!!"

When I come to, my mom is dabbing my face with a wet cloth. The house is
ominously quiet. Where's Mike?

"Where's Mike?"

"Shhhh. Don't try to talk. Just be still."

"Where's Mike?"

"Hush, Reed! He's gone. Don't do anything to bring your daddy back in
here."

"What happened?"

"I don't know, but I don't like what I heard."

"Where's Mike?"