Date: Sat, 04 Jan 2003 00:56:24 -0800
From: Brandon <boogyman_2002@hotmail.com>
Subject: Caleb Part One

	Well, the summer was coming to a very rapid end and I was, for once, not
anxious at all to start school again. I would be a sophomore in high school.
My freshman year was so hectic and almost overwhelming, but at least this
next coming year, I knew what to expect.
	I was 15 now and my life was starting to become what I wanted it to be for
a very long time. I had an amazing boyfriend for the very first time and he
made me finally accept and realize that I was gay. When we kissed or went
out, I didn't have to pretend like I was loving every minute of it like I
did before while dating girls and it felt SO GOOD! For once, I had someone
to talk to about being gay and I didn't feel so confused anymore because I
finally had someone who understood me and accepted me for who I really was.
His name was Jordan and we met on-line in May of last year. He was so good
to me and I really believed that I was in love. I never thought anyone could
fall in love at such an early age, but I guess, in the end, it's not all
what it is cut out to be.

	My second year of high school started in August and it felt like I never
even had time to enjoy the summer because it went by so fast, but it was
good to be back with old friends and to start making new ones.
	I thought the first day of school would never end. We had to go to all 8
periods and they each lasted about 45 minutes. Fourth period slowly came
around and I had to walk to the very back of the school to get to my English
class.
	I entered the classroom, found my seat and set my stuff down and once the
bell rang, I realized I was in a room full of complete strangers! There was
not one person in the room that I had ever even seen before! I found myself
getting really nervous, but I got myself calmed down after realizing that it
was just the first day of school and it would only be a matter of time until
I got to know everyone.
	Suddenly, the door opened and one of the most gorgeous guys ANYONE could
ever lay eyes on walked in. I knew who he was. He was in my English class
the year before and he went to both of my middle schools and my elementary
school. His name was Caleb. This kid was and still is BEAUTIFUL! At the
time, he was about 5 feet and 9 inches tall, he had short brown hair with
blue eyes and he played football and was on the wrestling team a few times,
so he had these perfect muscles that every guy in school wanted to have. He
also shaved practically every part of his body, making him irresistibly
smooth, and he had the most amazing mouth I had ever seen on a guy before
and he had the perfect tan to go along with it. I was nothing compared this
kid. I was about 5 feet and 7 inches tall with short brown hair and blue
eyes and I had an "average" build. I mean, I wasn't ugly or anything, but I
just didn't compare to Caleb's stunning looks.
	Caleb took his seat and all I basically did all period was marvel at him. I
was already doing all I almost ever did last year in English and I suddenly
remembered I had a boyfriend. I felt really guilty having these "fantasies"
about another boy when I was with someone, so I quickly washed those
thoughts away and began focusing on the teacher for once.

	The rest of the day went by as slow as a slug, but the final bell of the
day rang at 2:35pm and I actually found myself very disappointed because I
had no other classes with the notorious Caleb. I would live though.
	My mom was picking me up from school, so I hurried out to the parking lot
and got in the car. "Hey sweetie," my mom said. "Mom, I'm in the 10th grade
now, I don't think its necessary you call me `sweetie' anymore...."
"Oh....ok..." my mom answered back. "So how was your first day?" "Oh, it was
boring as hell," I said. "Brandon, can you ever have a positive outlook on
anything!?" "Ummmm, let me think about that......NO!" I answered. We never
said another word to eachother the rest of the way home.

	The relationship between my parents seemed to be slowly deteriorating and I
had no idea why. Not one day seemed to go by that we didn't scream and yell
at eachother and I often found myself grounded in my room, not being able to
go out and do anything. That is a whole different story though.

	Anyway.....I got home from my first day of school and I immediately ran to
my room and called Jordan. "So how was your first day of school!?" he asked.
"Nothing special, just the normal,  nagging teachers, work galore and hot
guys, you know, the usual." "Hahaha, you silly boy," he said.
	Jordan didn't start school until September, so he still had about a week
and a half left of vacation.
	I eventually told Jordan about Caleb and how I was physically attracted to
him, but it never bothered him if I talked about other guys because I didn't
have anyone else to talk to about it. Jordan understood how good it made me
feel to finally talk to someone about the guys I liked instead of pretending
that I was attracted to the most popular girl in school. Jordan had people
to talk to about everything. He came out to almost all of his friends before
we met. I was and still am keeping or trying to keep it a secret from
everyone, but I'm sure a lot of the people I know suspect it.

	Well, the days came and went and nothing real spectacular happened, but I
did find myself becoming more and more attracted to Caleb as the days went
by.
	We finally changed seats in English sometime in October and I sat directly
behind Caleb! This was the closest I had ever been to him through the 5
years we had "known" eachother! I soon found myself jacking off to thought
of Caleb at night, while in bed, and it made me feel so guilty because I
should have been fantasizing about Jordan.

	I didn't have to feel guilty about it for too much longer because Jordan
dumped me sometime in November. He told me that I lived too far away and we
didn't get to see eachother as much as he would have liked. Well, living 15
minutes away from eachother wasn't my idea of "living too far away", but I
couldn't get Jordan to see that. Jordan also wanted to stop being friends
because he thought it would be "too weird" for both of us, and I had no
choice but to agree and it honestly broke my heart. The first person that
ever truly understood me and the first person I every truly loved, rejected
me. I still haven't accepted what Jordan did to me, but I have PLENTY of
time to find someone better and I know I will. It was so hard at first
though. I realized I ended up crying myself to sleep almost every night for
about two weeks after Jordan dumped me.

	I finally realized that I could now focus most of my time on Caleb and not
feel guilty about it, so I guess that was the one positive thing about being
dumped by Jordan (if there was one).

	I ended up becoming more and more excited as the days passed because Caleb
was really starting to talk to me on his own free will and actually started
spending the time with me in class that he could be spending with his closer
friends.
	I also started suspecting that maybe Caleb was secretly gay because he
almost seemed to "secretly" flirt with me in his own little way. We also had
an assignment in class where we had to get with a partner and share events
that happened in our life (good or bad) that changed us as a person. Caleb
and me were partners, as usual, and he told me some very personal things
that he said he never told anyone before. He told me he had an alcohol
problem when he was around 13 and he told me he actually tried to commit
suicide because he was so depressed. This was very shocking to me that this
guy I hardly knew was sharing his deepest and darkest secrets with me in
class that not even his closest friends knew about. I also suspected that
maybe the reason why he was so depressed was because he was gay and couldn't
handle it, but I never asked him why he really was so depressed. I figured
that that was his business and since it was so personal, he could share it
with me when he was ready.

	Caleb, in my books, was my ideal guy. He was tall, had the perfect muscles,
had an amazing mouth, a great tan, but most of all, he was sensitive (which
was SO INCREDIBLY SEXY TO ME), and it seemed like he accepted me for who I
was. I never told him full out I was gay, but it couldn't be that hard to
figure out because I'm probably not the straightest acting kid in school.
Every night, I fell asleep imagining how amazing it would be to go out with
Caleb. I didn't have to do that for too much longer.......

	One day, after school, I had to stay late and re-take a math test I
failed. Well, when I was finished I called my dad with my cell phone and
told him to swing by the school and pick me up. After I called him, I
started to walk towards the front of the school when I saw Caleb walking up
towards me. He walked up to me and asked me why I was there so late. "Oh, I
just had to re-take a math test. What are you doing here so late?" I asked.
"I missed my bus and I was walking up to the office to use their phone," he
said. "Oh, well I got a cell phone right here you can use!" I gave him the
cell phone and watched him almost in awe as he called his parents to come
pick him up.
	Once he was done, he handed me back my cell phone and said,
"Hey.....uhhh...I have to talk to you Brandon. Can you come with me for a
second?" "Sure," I said. He grabbed my arm and pulled me behind a building
of classrooms. I was almost excited because I had no idea what he wanted to
tell me, but I had a feeling it was good.
	"Ok....uhhhh.....I really don't know how to tell you this and I have no
idea how you are going to react, but I have to tell you, so here it
goes........Brandon.......I'm gay and I really, really like you." I was in
utter shock and I didn't understand how any of what he just told me could be
real! We stood there looking at eachother for what seemed like forever
before Caleb broke the silence, "Oh god! You're not gay are you? Great! Now
I've gone and made a complete fool out of myself, but you better not tell
any-" "No! I am gay Caleb and I really, really like you too," I interrupted.
	I cannot even begin to describe how adorable this whole scene was to me.
Here was this amazingly good looking football jock who was sensitive and
actually gay, telling ME out of all people, that he liked me. Jordan would
never matter to me ever again!
	"Oh...well that's a relief! I was so nervous to tell you and I have liked
you ever since I first laid my eyes on you, but it took me 5 years to get
the courage up to tell you how I felt." Caleb finally said.
	All I could focus on was his mouth. He had his hands on my shoulders and
his face was only 5 inches away from mine and all I could see were his lips
moving up and down as he spoke, almost as if everything was moving in slow
motion. I think Caleb finally got the picture what I wanted because he
finally stopped talking and started to lean in closer and closer and closer
until our lips met. You can't even begin to understand how AMAZING it felt
to have his lips FINALLY against mine. I put arms around his shoulders and
his tongue slowly slipped into my mouth. Was this real!? It must be, but it
felt like a dream. We stood there behind the R classroom building with our
tongues caressing eachother's for at least 10 minutes before Caleb finally
backed away.
	"I better be going," he said. "My parents are probably here by now." I
watched him pick up his backpack and start to walk away. "Wait! I said,
"Does this mean we're going out?" "Uhhhh, well yeah, I guess.......unless
you don't want to...." "Oh,  I definitely want to, but I was just making
sure," I said. "Oh, ok, well good. I'll see you tomorrow in English then,"
he said? "Definitely!" I answered. I watched him turn around and walk to the
front of the school until he was out of sight.


                           TO BE CONTINUED...