Date: Thu, 24 Jun 2004 00:08:05 EDT
From: RainDude099@aol.com
Subject: Cali Boys chapter nine

This story is a work of fiction intended for a mature audience. All
Similarities between characters in the story and people in real life are
completely coincidental. This story depicts homosexual acts so if you do
not approve of this subject, please do not read any further.
This story is copyrighted by the author and may not be copied without the
written permission of the author, Scott MG.

Ok everyone, I finally finished the ninth chapter! It's a pretty good
chapter ifI might say. I just want to address some comments about the
story as it has been progressing. Cali Boys is not like a lot of the
other stories you might have read. I want people to realize that it is
more of a series dealing with life and everything involved in life.
Things aren't easy or predictable in life and they aren't going to be
like that in this story either. Hopefully the series is still to
everyones liking. I'll get right to work on the next chapter. Thanks
again to everyone for reading.


Cali Boys
Chapter Nine


Chris pushed open the front door of his house, letting in a stream of
bright sunlight in to the dim interior. Inside everything was dark and
all the curtains and drapes were pulled shut over the windows indicating
that his parents had left the house too early to open them. Standing in
the doorway Chris realized how foreign his home seemed now that he had
spent so much time away from it. He felt as if he didn't live there
anymore and felt like he was an intruder as he stepped inside for the
first time that day. He dropped his bag in front of the stairs and
turned, holding the door open for Jake who stumbled, uneasily, in to the
dark room.

"Sorry it's so dark. I guess my parents had to leave really early
today." Chris said as he crossed in to the living room and pulled open
the curtains, instantly filling the entire room with light.

"Your parents must be really busy people Chris," Jake said as he shut
the front door and entered the living room. "It seems like they work a
lot. Especially your dad. Does he even bother to come home now or does
he just eat and sleep at work?"

"Actually he has been busier than usual. I don't think I've actually
talked to him in a week." Chris said uncomfortably as he walked past
Jake to the dining room to open the curtains. "He wasn't even here last
night for my birthday dinner-- said he had a lot of work to do and he'd
be back late."

"That's not cool Chris," Jake said as he followed him through the
house. "Why is the dad always the shitty parent? I mean how often do
you hear about the kids' mom running out on the family, or not coming
home from work on their birthdays? It's always the dad." Chris finished
opening the curtains, brightening the dining room and turned to Jake. "I
swear I'm not going to be that kind of father when I have kids."

"You know not all dads are like that though." Chris said, looking at
Jake as he entered the kitchen. "Ryan's dad is a great guy. He's
kind of like a second father to me... And my dad isn't that bad... I
mean, he's just busy... If he could, he'd probably be here more often..."

Jake could hear the hurt in Chris's voice as he entered the kitchen and
he realized his mistake in being too bold. He followed Chris in to the
spotlessly clean kitchen where Chris was reading notes posted on the
refrigerator.

"You're probably right Chris," Jake said as he leaned against the
kitchen counter. "I'm sure your dad isn't a bad guy. But I still think
he should be here for your birthday at least."

"Yeah..." Chris muttered, hoping to end the conversation of his father,
and continued reading the notes his mother had left. "Oh wow!" He said
in surprise and pulled a particular note off of the refrigerator. "My
sister is coming home today to stay a couple of days."

"Really? I guess I forgot you had a sister since she's never around
either." Jake said. "Don't tell me she's a dentist too!"

"Kat? No way." Chris said, turning back to Jake. "Kat isn't much of
anything actually... She's probably still failing all her classes. She's
kind of a party girl."

"I'm sure your parents love that!" Jake laughed.

"Well at least they're allowing her in to the house." Chris said and
posted the note on the fridge again. "She'll be here at six." He said
and glanced at the clock on the wall, reading two. "I guess that means
I'll be having another birthday dinner! Hopefully I won't have to blow
out another seventeen candles."

"Speaking of that," Jake said as he moved closer to Chris and put his
arms around him. "Have I even wished you happy birthday yet?" Chris
smiled and turned away, blushing a little.

"Twenty times Jake." He laughed shortly. "Ten times at dinner with
your mom last night and ten times this morning."

"Well then I guess I should say it one more time. Happy birthday babe."
He said as he leaned in and kissed Chris softly on the lips at first
before slipping his tongue in to Chris's mouth. The two pulled each
other closer as they kissed, wrapping their tongues around each others
and moving their hands over each others backs. Chris felt overpowered by
Jake's kiss and let himself be pulled closer. As he felt himself melt in
to Jake's arms, against his firm body, he realized that his pants were
growing tighter as his errection swelled.

"Oh wow!" Chris said as he pulled out of their kiss. "You are... a
really great kisser Jake." Chris smiled in to Jake's bright eyes and he
beamed back. "Was that my other birthday present? Besides the... you
know?" He chuckled as his face started to turn red, thinking of the
embarrassing gift Jake had given him in privacy the night before.

"Well the kiss is just the lead in to your second present." Jake said
hinting and looked down to Chris's crotch where his bulge was growing
more obvious. "By the looks of it, I'd say you're ready for number
two." He said as he let his hand drift from Chris's side down to his
hard-on and rubbed carefully while looking in to his eyes, demandingly.

Chris slowed his breathing while he looked in to Jake's desiring eyes,
and he knew exactly what he would be getting. His bottom lip quivered
for a minute before he looked around, reminding himself that the house
was empty, and turned back to Jake with a smirk.

"Upstairs?" He asked, breathing heavily now.

"Yeah..." Jake said, his breathing matching Chris's in anticipation and
excitement. The two of them looked in to each others eyes for a moment
to be sure of their seriousness before they turned and hurried together
out of the kitchen and around the corner, up the stairs toward Chris's
bedroom.

By the time they reached Chris's bedroom and Jake pushed the door closed
behind him, they were both breathing heavily and smiling excitedly at
each other. Chris's heart pounded furiously in his chest and he flopped
back on to his bed and pulled Jake on top of him, forcefully kissing him
again. His hands moved over Jake's back, feeling his body on top of
him. He loved the way Jake smelled and he breathed him in deeply as they
stopped kissing and Jake flashed him a seductive smile.

"You sure no one is gonna come home?" Jake asked as he slid on to the
floor, looking up with patient eyes.

"Not for a couple of hours babe." Chris breathed heavily. "We've got
the place to ourselves."

"Good," Jake smiled seductively again as he let his hands move down
Chris's chest, over his stomach and down to his jeans. "I want you to
enjoy it without interruption."

Chris took a deep breath, feeling his heart beating uncontrollably as
Jake unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped his fly, releasing his now
rock-hard dick, which immediately sprang to life. Jake starred at it in
amazement for a moment, studying every bit of it with an open mouth. It
wasn't the first time Jake had seen Chris's cock but it was the first
time he was getting an up-close view. He also took a deep breath before
looking back up to Chris's reddened face.

"Damn Chris, you look bigger than six inches," he said, breathing
heavily and admiring his package. "I know I can take it though." He
smiled devilishly up with his bright green eyes and moistened his lips
with his tongue, trying to add to Chris's anticipation.

"Shit..." Chris gasped as he felt Jake lean forward and let his tongue
move carefully up his dick. The feeling was incredible as Jake licked up
his entire shaft. He closed his eyes and leaned back further on the bed
as Jake worked his tongue, continuing the waves of pleasure over Chris's
body.

"Good?" Jake asked, smiling happily up at Chris, basking in the feeling
he was giving him.

"God yes!" Chris sighed and grinned widely. Jake responded by giving
him a wink as he opened his mouth and took Chris's dick in to his mouth
sending a more intense feeling over him.

Slowly at first, Jake moved his tongue, tasting and feeling every inch
of the appendage in his mouth. The familiar taste of flesh seemed so
different this time for him. It was as if it was the first dick he had
ever taken in to his mouth and he loved that feeling of the first
experience. Jake started to move his head forward, sliding his lips
further over Chris's shaft. He started to move faster, hoping that Chris
would approve. He glanced up to see Chris put back his head, displaying
a look of complete ecstasy on his face. The sight urged Jake to continue
sucking for a few more moments before he pulled off and concentrated
completely on sucking and licking the head of Chris's cock. He could
feel the blood pulsing through Chris's dick as it throbbed in his mouth
and he could taste the sweet taste of precum as it leaked over his
tongue. Chris opened his mouth, with his head back and eyes still
closed, and let out a low moan. He gave a short gasp for air as he
moaned again in the intense pleasure Jake was giving him. He couldn't
believe the sensation washing over him as Jake licked and sucked him with
such perfection. Feeling Jake's warm mouth over his cock brought back
the memory of the partial blowjob Ryan had given him before. Laying back
in ecstasy, Chris realized that Ryans skills couldn't compare to Jakes.
At the same moment he also realized that the feeling of orgasm was
approaching. He knew in a moment he would shoot his load in to Jake's
mouth.

"You like that?" Jake asked devilishly as he stared up, breathing
heavily. "You like it when I suck your cock Chris?" Chris nodded
quickly as gasped, trying to control his breathing. Jake grinned and
wiped a beat of sweat from his forehead as he got up from his knees and
leaned over Chris on the bed. "You like my wet, warm mouth on your dick
Chris? I'll bet you do." He smiled and planted his lips on Chris's.

As they kissed passionately Jake moved his hand down to Chris's dick and
began stroking his dick while they kissed. Chris moaned shortly while
Jake probed his tongue in to his mouth. The two melted in to their kiss,
not wanting to break for air. Once again, the world seemed to disappear
from existence and the only things that seemed to be real were the two of
them as they kissed. Chris couldn't remember the last time that life
had felt so perfect. Everything was going perfect for him: he had
regained his best friend, he had just turned seventeen, and now he was
home alone with his gorgeous and loving boyfriend, making out and getting
a blowjob and a hand job for his birthday. Once again, Chris moaned as
he felt Jakes hand move from stroking his dick to start fondling his
balls. Every touch seemed so perfect and experienced making Chris wonder
how many guys Jake had already fooled around with. At the moment it
didn't matter though. The only thing that mattered to Chris was that he
was kissing his boyfriend and feeling his firm body on top of him. He
couldn't concentrate on anything but the incredible sensation Jake was
giving him as he jerked him off. He couldn't concentrate or even bring
himself to notice anything else in the world. With his eyes closed
softly, feeling Jake's firm chest to feel his heartbeat, Chris didn't
even notice the bedroom door swing open.

"Oh God!" The familiar voice gasped in shock causing Chris's heart to
leap in to his throat.

He pulled out of the kiss and opened his eyes and whipped around to see
a tall young woman with dark brown hair, pulled back in to a ponytail,
standing in his bedroom doorway. Kat was standing there frozen in shock,
with her suitcase still in hand. Her jaw dropped and her eyes were
widened to what appeared to be a mix of disbelief and complete horror at
witnessing the sight. Her tanned face seemed to go pale white as she
scanned the scene in the bedroom, still not able to speak. When Jake
turned to see the stranger he pushed himself off of Chris and fell back
on to the floor, gasping in shock as well.

"Fuck!" Chris gasped as he hurried and fumbled, trying to force his hard
cock in to his pants while he fought the urge to throw up from complete
embarrassment and disgust. His mind still wasn't fully comprehending
what had happened as Kat gasped again and turned away, hurrying out of
the bedroom and slamming the door shut in front of her.

Chris listened to his sisters footsteps as she hurried down the hall and
down the stairs as if the house was on fire. Immediately following was a
complete and eerie silence as Chris suddenly realized the intensity of
what had just occurred. His own sister had just walked in on him making
out with another guy. She had seen her own little brother sticking his
tongue in to the mouth of another male while the strange guy on top of
him was stroking his exposed dick. Chris's head began to spin and his
body started to shake as the information settled in to his brain. It
couldn't be real, he thought. The scenario didn't seem possible. His
worst nightmare had just come true and he couldn't believe it. His heart
started beating uncontrollably fast as he turned to Jake, who was still
laying back on the floor in shock, staring up with a horrified
expression. Neither of them could believe what had just happened. It
was completely unthinkable.

***

Ryan still couldn't believe he had forced himself to return to the dark
office as he sat opposite Dr. Roberts once again. The office was
completely silent except for the dull hum of the air conditioner and even
that further annoyed Ryan. His head was beginning to ache and his
impatience was growing as Dr. Roberts continued scribbling short notes on
his pad of paper, peeking up to examine Ryans expression every couple of
seconds. He took a deep breath and sighed, causing Roberts to look up
again from his writing. Ryan was nearly ready to stand up and request to
leave when Dr. Roberts set his paper down and folded his hands, looking
across the table to Ryan.

"Let me just say how glad I am that you decided to come back Mr.
Alder." Roberts said in a friendly voice. "I'm glad that you think
you're ready to talk about some of your problems."

"Yeah..." Ryan said in a low, nervous voice.

"What made you want to come back Ryan? Your father didn't schedule
this appointment at all." Roberts asked curiously.

"He doesn't know I'm here... He's probably out with Debbie again..."
Ryan said, staring at the floor with his arms crossed against his chest.

"You don't like Ms. Larks?" Roberts asked, picking up his pen.

"No, she's fine. I don't have any problems with her or the fact that
she's dating my dad. I already told you, that's not why I'm
here." Ryan said as he stared seriously in to Roberts concentrated eyes.

"Well if you're not here to talk about your family then why are you here
Ryan? What is it that's been bothering you? " Roberts asked and then
paused. "...More problems with your friend?"

Ryan stared in to the doctors cold expression for a moment, trying to
find the truth in his eyes. It was as if the doctor already knew what
Ryan was thinking and was giving him room to open the door further. The
look in his eyes gave it all away as he watched and waited for Ryan to
respond.

"Dr. Roberts..." Ryan started uneasily and tried to force himself to
continue looking the doctor in the eye. "If I tell you what's really
going on in my life and everything that's really been bothering me and
causing all of this... Will you really keep it confidential and not tell
my dad?" He took a deep breath, not believing he had opened himself up.
"Or was that all just some shit that you feed your patients to get them
to tell you their problems?"

"Ryan, I promise you that anything and everything you tell me in
confidence will remain in confidence... Nothing leaves this room..." Dr.
Roberts squeezed his pen in his hand as he looked Ryan deep in the eye.
"If you don't want your father to be involved then he doesn't have to
be. It can just stay between you and me..."

"I- I just don't think my dad would... understand these things..." Ryan
said, taking a deep breath and looking at the dark-carpeted floor.
"There's a lot he doesn't know... and a lot he probably wouldn't
understand... or accept."

"Are you afraid your father won't accept you for something?" Roberts
asked as he scribbled down a note. "Do you think he'd be ashamed or
disappointed in you for something... something you've done?" After a
long moment Ryan nodded, keeping his face directed to the floor to hide
his watering eyes as he fought the tears.

"Yes..." he said finally.

"You realize that I won't judge you at all Ryan..." Roberts said
carefully as if he was reaching out to him. "I won't judge you for
anything you've done... or anything about you..."

"I guess you already know... don't you?" Ryan said after a long silence
and he looked up at Roberts with a tired expression and red eyes. "You
already know huh?"

"What do you want me to know Ryan?" Roberts responded, gripping his pen
tightly. "I only know as much as you want me to know..."

"...So then you know about me... You know what I am-- what I'm trying to
say..." Ryan said and returned the doctors stare for a long moment, not
wanting to look away. "...You know that I'm gay."

"Honestly... Yes." Dr. Roberts said as he started scribbling on his
papers again. "I just had a feeling... especially when you slipped on
your words that day. But don't worry Ryan... it's really not a bad thing
at all. I have about ten patients a week that are gay or lesbian or
questioning."

"I know it's not..." Ryan sighed. "I fought it long enough, thinking it
was something bad. But I finally kind of came to terms with it. I know
there's nothing wrong with what I am... But I don't think some people
would feel the same way..."

"Like your father?" Roberts asked, looking up with a concerned
expression.

"He told me he wants me to meet a great woman, a beautiful woman that I
can fall in love with and stay with for the rest of my life." Ryan said
as a tear formed in his eye. "He never said anything about me falling in
love with another guy..."

"Do you believe that a persons sexuality is a choice Ryan? Do you
believe you chose to be gay, or is it something that you can't help--
something you have no control over?"

"...For as long as I can remember, I've had to pretend to like women...
I've had to force myself to believe that some chick is hot or that
another is ugly. I've had to make myself care about which stupid
celebrity has better tits or a better ass when really... When really I
never gave a shit in the least..." Ryan said firmly. "I had to make
myself believe that I was attracted to girls just because it's what
people always told me was right. Boys like girls ya know? But it never
seemed fully right to me... The only reason I kept convincing myself I
liked girls was so that I wouldn't be an outcast of society."

"When did you admit it to yourself then?" Roberts asked after a moment.
"What made you admit to yourself that you were, in fact, gay?"

"My friend..." Ryan said, taking a long breath. "My friend Chris is
gay. I- I always knew he was. I mean, there was just something about
him. One night he found me kissing some stupid girl that our friends set
me up with... He totally freaked out. That night he told me he was
gay... and that he was in love with me..."

"...What did you tell him?" Ryan looked up at him with cold eyes.

"I told him... I told him some stupid thing about how it wouldn't change
things and how we'd always be friends... And then... Then I kissed him...
As far as I'm concerned, that was my first kiss..." Ryan watched as the
doctor forced himself to look away from Ryan's sincerity and continue his
notes. "...That was the night I admitted to myself that I was gay... and
the night that I realized I loved Chris the way he loved me..." He took
a deep breath and wiped his forehead. "Of course then I was a fucking
idiot and denied it again for two years."

"When you told me you tried to commit suicide because you found your
best friend with your girlfriend, you were really talking about Chris...
weren't you?" Roberts asked as he set down his pen again. "... You
think Chris was the love of your life?"

"Chris and I finally told each other how we really felt a few weeks
ago." Ryan said as he looked away, the memories beginning to stab him in
the chest again. "I finally told him that I loved him and that I wanted
to be with him and... And that was the night before I found out my dad
was dating the new school secretary and then told me how much he wants me
to find a nice woman that I can share my life with... the night after I
slept with the only person I've ever really loved..."

"And you let that come between you and Chris, Ryan?"

"I tried to deny all my feelings again. I tried to be straight again
and I told Chris we couldn't be together..." Ryan said as tears began to
roll down his cheeks. "I tried to take it back later but I was too
late... He's with some other guy now... A really great guy. They're
really happy together... The night I saw them kissing was the night I
tried to kill myself..." Ryan said, prompting another long silence.

"... You don't think there is any chance to reconcile your
relationship?" Dr. Roberts asked in a low, chalky voice.

"A few nights ago we talked about everything... We put it all out in the
open and decided to be friends... As much as it hurts me-- as much as I
want to be with him-- I know it would hurt even more to put him in my
past for good... I still love him too much to do that..."

"But things are over..." Dr. Roberts sighed and rubbed his forehead,
apparently fighting his own headache, brought on by the intensity of
their conversation. "Chris moved on and he's happy with how things have
turned out. But you aren't? You don't think you can be just a friend to
him?"

"I'm trying," Ryan choked out in a stressed voice. "But its so hard.
His boyfriend Jake asked me to come to his birthday dinner last night and
I had to tell him I was going to dinner with my dad because I couldn't
stand to see Chris with another guy-- especially a really great guy like
Jake... He really cares about Chris-- probably as much as I do. And I
know that if I was there at that dinner, I would have to watch Chris blow
out the candles on his cake and know that he wasn't making a wish about
me... He would be wishing about his boyfriend..." Ryan's voice
strained. "I feel like I'm going crazy though! In the past week I've
slept with five guys-- none of whom I've been emotionally attached! It's
just a bunch of meaningless sex to keep me from thinking about Chris...
and I know it's wrong but I can't help it... Really makes me hate
myself..." Ryan cried in to his hand and took a deep, long breath.

"Ryan," Dr. Roberts said finally, giving him a concerned expression. "I
know that things have been hard for you lately... being heartbroken over
your best friend, and having to watch him move on with someone else... I
know all these things are hard. But everyone goes through these things
Ryan-- not just you. Everyone loses at least one great love in their
life... You have to understand that and realize that having sex with
these other guys is a dangerous solution to your problem."

"So you think I should give Chris up for lost?" Ryan asked quietly, his
heart creating the only sound in the room.

"I'm saying..." Roberts said as he leaned over the desk. "That maybe
the only way you can be happy is if you move on too. You can still be
Chris's friend but I don't think you can be happy until you have someone
to move on with too... Maybe you need to find someone you can be with...
like Chris did with Jake..."

Ryan stared up at him for a long moment trying to find an argument for
his words. The silence lasted longer, filling the room, as he realized
that the doctor was completely right.

***

The world still hadn't stopped spinning as Chris sat, frozen, at a small
table in the corner of the cafe with Jake at his side and Shari sitting
across the table, glancing worriedly between them. Chris's head was
aching from the events of the earlier afternoon. Even an hour later, it
still didn't seem real. It didn't make sense to him. Kat had been
expected to arrive at six but she had shown up four hours early. There
had been no warning before hand and no time for explanation afterwards.
When He and Jake had gone out, she had completely disappeared from the
house and her car was missing from the driveway. She had fled
immediately after the incident.

After a few moments of silence Shari let out a long breath which she had
been holding and looked worriedly at Chris, reaching her hand out to
touch his. He returned his gaze from space and focused on her eyes as
she spoke to him.

"Chris, I know this is really scary for you right now," she started
uneasily. "But just remember, it's not like it's the end of the world.
Just because your sister knows you're gay doesn't mean everything is
going to change."

"Yes it does..." He said solemnly as he looked past her. "Everything
is going to change now. Kat is going to tell my parents, they're going
to freak, I'll probably get shipped off to a catholic school and get
baptized or something!"

"Don't be stupid Chris." Shari said, taking on a different
'no-nonsense' tone. "All that is really unlikely."

"Yeah Chris, I'm sure things won't be that bad." Jake said as he put
his hand on Chris's arm to comfort him. "Everyone thinks coming out is
going to ruin their lives. I know I thought I was going to get the death
sentence or something!"

"And did that happen Jake? Did I flip out and send you off to get
baptized and then to the electric chair?" Shari asked without expecting
an answer. "No, of course I did not! I told you that you were my son
and I would love you no matter what and that I would always support you
in anything in life, including your sexuality."

"Not everyone is as accepting as you are though Mrs. Shepard." Chris
sighed and held his head.

"But not everyone is as intolerant as you think Chris." Jake responded,
putting his hand on Chris's shoulder.

"It's not that my family is intolerant-- my parents have a lot of gay
patients and I'm sure Kat's known a lot of gay people too. It's just
that..." Chris paused. "It's just that it's a completely different thing
when you know a gay person than it is when you have one in your immediate
family."

"You think your family is going to disown you Chris?" Shari asked in a
kind of serious, therapist voice.

"...I'm not sure..." He said in a shallow voice. "I don't know what to
expect from them... I never imagined coming out this way... I mean, they
could definitely freak out about it-- disown me from the family... Or at
the very least... Push me away even further than they already do... I
don't know how much further I can drift from them... I already feel like
our family has broken apart."

"I'm really sorry about that Chris..." Shari said in a low voice after a
moment. She leaned across the table and put her hand on his again. "I
want you to know that if anything were to ever happen... you're always
welcome to come to me and Jake. Our home is your home." She smiled
warmly and Chris returned it with a weak smile. "Never question whether
or not to come to us-- at any time."

"Thank you..." Chris said weakly. "It means a lot."

"Chris, maybe you should talk to your sister about this... Before things
evolve from it any further." Shari said as she stood up from the table.
"Sometimes confronting your problem is the only way to fix it. Now if
you boys will excuse me, I need to get back to work. Without Mary around
here I've got more than enough work to keep up with."

"Thanks again Shari..." Chris said as she headed toward the back room of
the cafe.

"Anytime Chris... anytime." She smiled as she left the two of them
sitting quietly at the table. Chris sighed loudly and turned to Jake who
was watching him with concerned eyes.

"You know my mom really likes you Chris." He said after a moment.

"Yeah, I guess."

"No, she really does." Jake said. "Last night she made some comment
about us moving in together after high school. She discouraged that with
me and my last boyfriend but I guess she really likes you. She thinks
you're really good for me and well, I kinda thinks she's already planning
our wedding and thinking of you as her son-in-law!" He laughed.

"You're really lucky to have her as a mom." Chris said. "I know my mom
would never be as accepting as she is."

"Yeah? Well maybe if you talked to your mom you would be surprised..."

"God Jake..." Chris sighed and covered his face with his hands again.
"I don't know what to do! I don't think I'm ready for my whole life to
change like this!" Jake put his arm around him and pulled him close,
trying to shelter him from everything he was facing.

"You know I'm always here for you Chris." He said softly in to Chris's
ear. "You're not going through this alone-- I'm with you through this.
I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

Chris looked up in to Jake's passionate eyes, ignoring the looks they
were getting from the only other two customers in the cafe. He could see
so much compassion in Jake's eyes. There was no question whether or not
his feelings were sincere.

"I guess I have to talk to Kat about this..." Chris sighed. "I've been
avoiding all this for so long-- it's finally caught up with me."

"You'll be fine," Jake hushed him and held him closer. "She's your
sister... she's not going to hate you because you're gay and you have a
boyfriend. People aren't always like that."

"My family already acts like I don't exist half the time..." Chris said
quietly. "After tonight, I'll be even less to them."

***

The summer air felt heavier as Chris walked slowly up his driveway, in
between his mothers car and Kats car. Every step he took seemed to echo
in his ear, slowing him down further from the destination of his front
door where he feared his family would be waiting. The feeling ached
inside him as he drew closer to the front door. It was as if every
second was counting down to something. Every second was being cast away
as his life was coming to a close. Chris couldn't control his heartbeat
as he reached the front porch. He stopped for a moment and turned back,
looking at the long street behind him. He knew he could still turn and
run-- he didn't have to go inside, where his sister and mother would be
waiting to pounce on him and slowly and painfully destroy his life.
Standing on the porch, Chris leaned against the wall to hold himself up
as his legs were beginning to shake. He felt torn between his two
options; his mind was screaming at him to turn and run as fast as he
could from his house without looking back, but something else kept his
feet glued to the porch and he couldn't will himself to move.

Chris could hear two voices talking inside the house. The voices of his
mother and sister talking excitedly floated from behind the front door as
he reached out, touching the doorknob slightly before grasping it in his
hand. He stood frozen in that spot for several moments, retracing the
events that had led him to the situation in which he was standing. Chris
knew there was no excuse he could make to keep Kat from knowing the truth
and he knew that by this time his mother had been notified too. There
was nothing he could do but face what had happened and hope that his
family would accept him for what he was. As Chris concluded his
thoughts, he took a deep breath and grasped the door-handle firmly before
turning and pushing it open. He held his breath as he entered his home,
took two steps and turned to the living room where Kat and his mother
were sitting at the couch, talking. They turned and looked at him in
unison, both displaying blank faces. Chris's heart stopped.

"There you are." Angela said coldly. "I'm glad you finally decided to
show up Chris! At least one of the Banks men will be here this
evening." She said as she leaned over and took her glass from the coffee
table, taking a drink.

"I'm sorry," Chris finally spoke in a scratchy voice, trying to control
it from shaking. "I.. lost track of time..."

"Hey Chris." Kat said to him in a unemotional voice. The look on her
face was pleasant enough, as if she wasn't sure what particular emotion
she was feeling toward her brother. She didn't fully smile but she
didn't give a look of anger or dislike either. She just sat calmly on
the couch, and pulled back her long bangs from her eyes
characteristically, as she always did. "It's good to see you little
bro. Sorry I wasn't able to get here in time for your birthday."

"That's fine... It's good to see you too Kat." Chris said, his head
spinning in confusion.

"Chris, your father called to say he's not going to be here for dinner
again tonight." Angela said in an irritable tone. "Busy with who knows
what!"

"I don't understand why you and dad work so hard, mom." Kat said,
turning her stare from Chris's pale face to her mother. "I mean you guys
are two of the city's best dentists. Haven't you established your
position enough to hire more doctors for your company?"

"Ask your father," Angela sighed. "He's the businessman. Anyway I
think dinner is about ready you two. Why don't we eat and Kat, you can
tell us all about your exciting summer in New York!"

"You guys don't really want to hear about that." Kat said as she stood
up from the couch, stretching her legs. "Especially Chris. I'm sure
he's had a more exciting summer than I have!" She turned to Chris and
gave him a suggestive smile making him freeze once again in his tracks.

***

The dinner table seemed incredibly silent to Chris, even while his
mother and Kat talked continuously throughout dinner, catching up on
every detail that had occurred since Kat's last visit. Chris couldn't
concentrate on the conversation-- he watched Kat's eyes the entire time,
scared to death that at any moment she would bring up the afternoon's
events as casually as mentioning the weather. After forty minutes of
nodding answers to their questions and trying to exclude himself from
conversation, Chris realized that the conversation was not going to be
directed toward him. Kat looked up at him while eating and gave him a
strange look with her eyes, as if to tell him to calm down. After a
moment of the two of them starring awkwardly at each other, Angela wiped
her mouth and cleared her throat to break the silence.

"What's going on between you two?" She asked, causing the two of them
to turn towards her with blank stares. "Obviously neither of you are
really here right now. Is everything alright? Christian? Kathryn?"

"Mom, everything is fine. Chris and I just haven't talked much since I
got home." Kat said, reassuringly. "Give us a few minutes to catch up
later and we'll go back to trying to kill each other, just like old
times!"

"If you say so..." Angela said as she stood up from the table, carrying
her plate to the sink and eyeing Chris suspiciously. "I'm going to go
change my clothes before I spill wine on my best shirt. When I'm done we
can sit and talk outside until your father gets home." She said as she
headed out of the kitchen, glancing awkwardly at her children over her
shoulder. When she had left the room, Chris and Kat turned toward each
other, staring again in silence.

"Kat..." Chris finally spoke after a moment.

"Chris you don't need to say anything." She interrupted him while she
set her fork down on her plate and stood up from the table. "This
afternoon was... Well fuck, it was awkward and embarrassing!"

"I'm... sorry..." Chris said, looking down at the table to avoid the
judging look he expected in her eyes.

"Don't be sorry Chris!" She said, standing at the counter. "It was my
fault that I didn't knock or anything! And I'm the one who should be
sorry that I ran out without letting you say anything. But you have to
admit; when you come home to your family you don't expect to walk in on
your brother making out with another guy!"

"Did you tell mom?" Chris asked as he looked up at her, studying the
look on her face as she washed her plate off in the sink.

"No." She said flatly and pulled back her hair. "I didn't think she
needed to know. It's not like it's any of her business what you're doing
in your bedroom when she's not there. I mean, you wouldn't tell mom if
you walked in on me with a guy."

"Well actually I did when I was twelve and you were making out with that
Bobby guy." Chris said, smiling weakly.

"Funny thing about Bobby," Kat said, smiling. "He turned out to be
gay. He told me on prom night of all nights! We get the room and I'm
thinking we're about to have sex and then he just lets it slip!" She
laughed shortly and shook her head as she recounted the memory. "So...
When did this all happen?"

"You mean when did I realize I was gay?" Chris asked and Kat nodded
while she leaned against the kitchen counter. "I don't even remember
when... I've just had to hide it from everyone though... Well besides
Ryan. He's the only person that's known for the past two years."

"Well I did kind of wonder why you never brought home any girls Chris."
She said, smiling. "But it looks like things are good for you. I mean
you appeared to be fine this afternoon!" She laughed.

"His name is Jake." Chris said, starting to feel himself turn red.
"He's a pretty great guy."

"I'm glad." Kat smiled warmly and Chris felt an instant feeling of
relief wash over him. "I'm happy for you Chris. I mean, I did kind of
suspect you might be gay but I never thought I'd find out by walking in
on you and your boyfriend! I'm just glad that you're happy though. I
hope you weren't freaking out because you thought I'd like hit you with
an anti-gay speech or something."

"Well, I wasn't sure what to expect. I've been trying to wait for the
right time to tell mom and dad for the past two years so that they
wouldn't freak out or disown me or something. Then all of a sudden you
walk in on me and I realized my whole family could find out and I'd have
no control over what they'd think about it." Chris sighed. "It's pretty
terrifying."

"I'm sure it is." Kat said. "But Chris, you shouldn't ever have to
worry about mom or dad or me and how we feel about you. Just because
you're gay doesn't mean you're not still my little brother and a pain in
the ass!" She laughed and grinned widely. "By the way, I didn't mean
anything by that comment!"

"I know." Chris laughed. "But you can just ask Ryan how much of a pain
in the ass I was." He smirked and Kat's jaw dropped.

"God Chris! Too much information!" She laughed. "I can't believe Ryan
is gay too! Is there like something in the water supply or something?!"

"But Kat..." Chris said trying to regain the seriousness of their
conversation. "You're really ok with me being gay? And you're not going
to tell mom and dad, are you?"

"Of course I'm ok with it Chris. You're my brother." She said
caringly. "I love you Chris... Just don't tell mom that I told you
that!" The two of them exchanged smiles again. "And if you don't want
mom and dad to know, then I won't tell them. It's your decision when you
want to come out to them. But Chris, you know they're going to find out
sooner or later. And the time that they find out isn't going to make any
difference on their reactions."

"I know..." Chris sighed. "But I'm just not ready for them to know
yet."

"Not ready for who to know what?" Angela asked as she appeared in the
doorway in a clean outfit. She eyed the two of them as she entered the
room.

"Nothing mom. Just sibling gossip." Kat said as she opened the sliding
glass door to the back patio by the pool.

"Oh, alright." She said and smiled at the two of them as she headed to
the backdoor. "Kat why don't we sit on the patio for a while. I'd like
to hear more about school. The classes, the teachers, the boys! Tell me
everything!" She laughed and stepped out on to the patio.

"In a minute mom." Kat smiled at her mother's sudden school-girl persona
and took Chris's plate from the dinner table where he was still sitting.
"By the way Chris," she leaned down and whispered to him. "I found that
little 'gift' laying in a bag on the stairs. Take my advice; if you
don't want mom to know you're gay, don't leave the dildo that your
boyfriend gives you for your birthday, lying around the house!" She
laughed and turned, heading to the back door, leaving Chris with a
dropped jaw and a reddened face.

***

Chris glanced over at the clock on his nightstand as he laid on his bed
later that night. It was after eleven and he had just heard the sound of
his father coming home from where-ever he had spent the evening. The
days events were still spinning in Chris's head as he got up from his bed
and stretched. He couldn't believe how his life had changed so
drastically over the course of several hours. He had never imagined that
his sister would be the first one in his family to find out he was gay.
But now that the drama had subsided from it Chris was left with relief
and happiness. He couldn't find any reason to regret what had happened.
His sister was perfectly fine with the fact that her brother was gay.
She had even joked around with him about it! The whole event made Chris
reconsider whether anyone ever had a bad reaction to that kind of news.
His paced in his bedroom trying to calm his mind but his conversation
with Kat was still replaying in his head. He couldn't believe for a
moment what had happened but he didn't doubt it was real. It seemed so
perfect how everything had played out. Chris felt like he had gained a
new-found confidence-- as if he had overcome the first great obstacle on
his way to full self-realization. There was no reason to stop there, he
thought as he opened the bedroom door.

He didn't know exactly what he was going to tell his mom and dad when he
reached them in the living room but it didn't matter, he would let the
words come to him. Chris passed Kat's bedroom door where he could hear
her shuffling clothes in to her bags as she was getting ready for bed.
The hallway was dark but light was coming up the stairs as Chris reached
them, trying to remain quiet to keep Kat from interrupting what he was
about to do. Standing at the top of the stairs Chris could faintly hear
his parents talking in the living room but he couldn't make out what they
were saying. He hoped they weren't in the middle of an important
discussion that he would have to interrupt. Chris slunk down the stairs
carefully, listening to his parents voices becoming more audible. When
he reached the foot of the stairs he stood frozen at the doorway,
listening in disbelief at what he was now hearing. His mothers voice was
angry as she spoke and her words seemed to cut in to Chris just as much
as they were cutting in to her husband. Chris leaned back against the
wall as he listened in complete shock. His jaw dropped as their
conversation became whole. The words he was hearing seemed impossible.

"How could you, Ben?" Angela cursed angrily. "How could you do
something like this? How could you do this to me? To your family?! I
know we were having problems but this is not how you solve them
Benjamin!"

"Believe me Angela, I have never been more sorry for anything in my
life!" Ben sobbed to her.

"God dammit Ben!" Angela said as she threw up her arms and held her
head in her hands. "You miss your own sons birthday and the first dinner
we've had with our daughter in months, just so you could fuck some stupid
bitch assistant!!! How can you even stand there and say you're sorry?!"

"I am..." He continued to sob. "I'm sorry for what I did... for
breaking us even more... But I want to make things better Angela! I want
to fix things! Make them the way they were before... When we were
alright."

"Ben... I know that things haven't been alright with us in a long
time... We haven't really been a family for a long time... You don't have
to be sorry for that... You don't have to be sorry for not loving me
anymore..." She started to cry. "You don't have to pretend that you want
us to be ok because we are not going to be ok!!! I can't keep pretending
we're going to be ok Ben!!! Things are never going to be ok between
us!!! Whether you're sleeping with her or not... We are not going to be
alright..."

"Angela..." Ben sobbed as he sobbed and rest his head in her lab, crying
his heart out on her, unable to speak. "Angela... I do love you..."

"Let's not kid ourselves..." Angela sighed after a long moment and wiped
her tears from her face. "We haven't really loved each other in a long
time Ben. We lost that a long time ago... You and I are just two
strangers living in the same house, loving the same family, but we do not
love each other... I'm tired of pretending that we do..."

Chris listened as his father continued to cry in to his mothers lap and
she tried to keep herself from bursting in to tears again. The sound of
their worlds crashing down on them seemed to pull Chris down as well.
His heart sunk in to his stomach as he tried to hold himself up against
the wall. Chris let out a short gasp for air as tears started forming in
his eyes. In an instant, everything Chris had ever known had blown away
in the wind and disappeared before his eyes. Everything had been
destroyed before his eyes and they would never be repaired...

To Be Continued...