Date: Thu, 14 Mar 2002 02:44:17 +0000
From: Nathan Savage <savagewriter@hotmail.com>
Subject: Chad in the Pool House - Part Three

Chad left with his mom for a visit to Montreal the Monday following our
messy tryst. The week and a half he was gone was double for me -

He was, of
course, all I could think about - as was the uncertainty I felt about the
newfound intimacy we had known. It was obvious to me that we had gotten past
being simple jerk-off buddies, however I sensed hesitancy and restraint in
Chad. For the first time I began to interpret my actions - was I gay? Did it
matter? Was he?

The 12 days he was gone saw his constant entrance into my
thoughts - two weeks of jacking off to the replay of our bodies sliding
against each other in the pool house. We talked on the phone towards the
ends of his trip, a conversation consisting of small talk and friendly
chatter, yet still my heart raced ahead of my mind.

Chad returned to town
midweek. Though he didn't mention it at the time, his visit with his father
was uncomfortable and strained, and he was relived to be back. His mother
had stayed in Montreal with friends, and we planned what any other sixteen
year olds would given such an opportunity for freedom. We invited everyone
we knew to party that Saturday night- it was our project. In my mind,
however, I wondered what would happen next. Our sexual life remained hidden
amongst the patterns of our normal friendship.

The Saturday of the party,
Chad and I played our usual morning tennis match, then returned to his house
for a swim. I was anxious to get back in the pool house, but after our swim
fate seemed to be against me. A few friends from the deli came by as we were
swimming to plan for the event - who would arrange for the beer, etc. As
afternoon settled in and plans solidified, I lost hope that we'd get to
chance it alone, and went home to rest up and have dinner with my family.


I showed up at Chad's early, hoping to catch him alone. He was indeed
alone, if a bit frantic, as the house seemed no cleaner than it had earlier
in the afternoon. I joined in the cleaning and chatted with him about his
trip. He seemed at first hesitant to talk about his father, but after a
quick beer he seemed to loosen up.

Slouched into the couch, beer in hand,
Chad offered an introduction to the topic after a silence.

"It's weird, you
know, it's not that he's an asshole. That would be the easy out, I think. I
mean he had every right to leave my mom, hell I can't claim they were happy
or anything. It's just, well, I never realized how little he was involved in
our lives until now. I expected to get there and hang out with him, just be
normal. But I don't think we were ever normal, you know? It was like being
with a stranger - and every time his girlfriend was around, he was even
weirder."

"Man, I can't imagine having to see that-" I began, though I had
misinterpreted his intention.

"-No, really, I didn't have a problem with
her. I mean sure it was kind of bizarre, but it was him - he acted like the
stranger in the group. Just crazy, I guess."

"I'm sorry, man," -I had no
idea what to say, but found something to fill the void- "how was your mom on
the trip?"

"She's incredible, god I'm so glad I take after her. And she
totally warned me about this, now that I look back, but you know, whatever,
is 20/20."

"Hindsight."

"Yeah, hindsight, genius." As he said this, Chad
punched me in the arm, smirking. I gave my best smirk back, but it came off
as more of a stare. He held my stare for a second, then chuckled and turned
his head, taking a gulp of his beer.

"Well, I think it looks pretty damn
good in here, A? I mean what's the point anyway, the place is going to be
trashed."

"Yeah, just a meaningless rule." I decided to take the
opportunity to imply my desires. My heart was knocking hard at my chest. "So
I missed you, man, it's not as much fun with you gone."

His reply was
short. "Yeah, thanks."

Another silence, then Chad quipped, "plus, this
place is so boring, really. I mean just being back in Montreal for a few
weeks, there was so much to do! You've got to come with me sometime. Anyway,
tonight should be fun."

The time we had told people to show up had passed,
and I knew I only had little time to work with. Though I knew it was no
smooth transition whatsoever, I blurted out, "Man, and I've been so fucking
horny." I slouched more into the couch and let my hand sort of drift onto my
inner thigh. I looked up at Chad, hoping to see his will capitulate, but got
the opposite.

Chad got up from the couch immediately, visibly
uncomfortable. Embarrassment crept over my sly grin, and I suddenly felt the
consequence of my risk. Ever the nice guy, Chad looked back with a fake
smile as he walked towards the kitchen and said "what, like you haven't been
jerking off. I know I have," and quickly turned his head back. I knew it, I
had analyzed incorrectly, I had gone to far. Not only this, but I suddenly
felt I had alienated myself, placing myself in some sort of new
category.

The ten minutes that passed before the first group of people
arrived was painfully civil. We got more beers, went over the house again
looking for breakables and other perils, and chatted up small,
inconsequential things. Inside I felt I like a true idiot.

Fast-forward two
hours, and the party was raging. A group of people from the town across the
lake had gotten word of the night's plans, and the result was a full crowd.
Given the noise generated by the crowd, I was glad Chad lived in the
wilderness. People were everywhere - in the woods, around the pool, in the
pool, in the house. The few times I visited the bathroom, I noticed the
doors to the bedrooms were closed, and each time, though I knew he was out
by the pool, my mind couldn't escape the image of Chad inside, making out
with some girl.

The higher my blood alcohol level climbed, the bolder my
anger grew. Though we were equal parts of the same social group, I had
barely spent any time with the usual circle. My state left me unexpectedly
extroverted, and by the time I was certifiably drunk I was hanging out with
the new kids from across the way. It soon became clear to me that one of the
girls, Anna, was specifically interested in my company.

I was being
childish. I was hurt. And soon I was walking into the woods with Anna, her
intentions clear and my willingness a direct result of Chad's indifference.
The next ten minutes in the woods did more to solidify my feelings for Chad
than anything - we kissed and let our hands run over each other's bodies,
but something felt mechanical about the whole scene. When a friend of mine
unintentionally passed by and caught us kissing, I felt relieved. Against
her wishes, I coaxed Anna back to the party. "I'd like another beer. You?"
There was no reason she had to answer.

By the time I got back to the pool
area, the news had spread, I could tell by the expressions on my friends'
faces. Then I saw Chad. He was standing on the patio just outside the great
room, looking my way. It seemed he was standing there awaiting my eye
contact. His face was blank, leaving nothing for me to interpret. I raised
my eyebrows and shoulders in a shrug, beckoning levity. He responded with a
forced, lifeless version of the same shrug, turned, and went in the house.


Confused. Confused, and distanced. Confused, distanced, and drunk. Yes,
and Anna too. I pooled all the wisdom I had at my disposal into the best
decision possible: drink a whole lot more. The following is what I remember
form the rest of the party.

Parked at the beer cooler, I avoided contact
with most people I knew, and drank. I remember not being able to see
straight as I stumbled across the lawn to the house to get some water. Out
of the blur from across the kitchen I heard loud voices cutting through
blaring music. The next thing I knew I was crunched on to the couch with
people I had never met, smoking a joint. What generous folks, I thought, my
last clear and positive sentiment for hours. The weed threw me over the
edge, and at once I had both a bad case of the spins and a burgeoning
nausea.

Chad and I had made sure to put up a sign prohibiting entrance to
his mother's room, and it was there I headed first. To my surprise, there
were two people making out in the bed when I entered, but as I was sick and
thus interested in pure efficiency, I barked at them to get out and shut the
door. I ran into the bathroom, kneeled at the toilet, and got sick. For some
time.

I awoke on the bathroom floor, peeled myself up, and found some
mouthwash. I tried to amass the spirit required to return to the
festivities, but once I left the bathroom and caught sight of Chad's mom's
bed, my mind was made up. I took off my shorts, collapsed on the soft cover
in my boxers, and sank into deep sleep soon thereafter.


I came out of
sleep slowly, eventually recognizing a hand tapping my shoulder. My sight
eased back and adjusted to the dark, and the first thing I saw was a glass
of water. I grabbed it and drank it quick, looking up finally to see Chad,
wearing no shirt, chuckling at me. Still perceptibly drunk, he showed a
softer side of himself, asking, "How are you feeling? Man, you passed out,
no one knew where you were for a while."

I said nothing. Speech was not yet
possible.

"So looks like you had fun. Party was a success, I think.
Certainly for you, no, what was her name?"

My first words came to me. "I
don't care. Really, I didn't even have fun with her. I don't know..." my
thoughts left me. Chad filled in.

"Really? I thought, well, I don't know
what I thought." He seemed to be holding something back, something I knew I
wanted him to get to. I continued for him.

"Listen, Chad, tonight totally
sucked for me. I had no idea what was going on, when I saw you give me that
look after I came out of the woods, I don't know, I felt like shit." I shook
my head, continuing, "I just, whatever, I just can't figure things out right
now."

"Well that makes two of us. I mean the whole time, I was-"

A crash
sounded from down the hall.

"Are people still here?" I asked.

"Yeah, some
people will probably crash here, I guess." Silence followed, during which
Chad and I met eyes. "Um, do you want another beer?"

"Are you kidding me?
No!"

"Well I do, I'm going to get another beer. Be back in a second."

Chad
was back in ten seconds, and after entering the room, with a chug on the
bottle, his expression was that of something spanning the border of courage
and fear. He sat down on the edge of the bed and said, "What you said
before, about missing me while I was gone. I, I should have said the same
thing. I mean truthfully, I was so glad to see you. This is so fucking
weird! I don't know, you know?"

My whole self reacted to what he said, and
my growing hangover seemed to vanish. I smiled grandly.

"What? What are you
smiling at?"

I didn't say a word. I extended my arm and punched him on the
arm. Without deciding to, I punched him again, this time leaving my hand on
the meeting of his shoulder and his arm. I ran my arm down his shoulder and
onto his back, following his muscle to the small of his back. Chad's
expression went from serious to nervous and back. I took my hand off his
body, and laid on the bed, unsure of what to do next. Chad tried to
talk.

"I just," he hesitated. "I just don't know what I want."

I retorted.
"Don't you?" And held his gaze.

To this day I am so glad I chose those
words. Perfect for the moment. No more words needed, just decision. Which
Chad came through with, of course, as he was famous for.

Chad leaned down
in my direction. At last instant, he turned his head away from me and shook
his head in a self-conscious smirk, as if to allow himself a last chance
out. He didn't take it, however, and turned his face back to meet mine. My
whole chest seemed to ignite with yearning, and as my eyes fixed on his with
more passion, Chad closed his eyes and leaned into my lips. Our mouths met
and didn't move at first. I remember thinking, if I could clone this second,
I'd live in it for the rest of my life.

Our lips eventually began to move
together, and our mouths opened as our pace increased. For a few moments we
laid there, our mouths the only mutual contact. When I realized this,
though, I put my arm around his back and pulled him into me. Our bodies slid
into place next to each other, and I ran my hands up his back to his neck.
Locked in an intense kiss, Chad and I moved closer. Chad propped his leg up
onto mine, and moved it over, positioning it between my two legs. Our
crotches grew nearer, and the anticipation drove me wild. I made the final
move, pulling Chad almost on top of me. I could feel his erection through
his shorts, and soon it made contact with my hardness. Chad pushed his hips
into mine, forcing our dicks together, and the sensation made me gasp out
loud. Chad took his lips away from mine, and smiled his Cheshire grin in a
way that I'll never forget. No matter how confusing the night had been, it
was clear now that we both were getting what we wanted. I couldn't believe
it. We continued to grind against each other and kiss for several minutes,
when suddenly Chad got up.

I watched, unsure of what he was doing, as he
crossed the room and turned the lock in the door. He looked back at me, and
I nodded in approval. He stood at the door, and looked down at the erection
tenting through his shorts. A small wet spot appeared where the tip hit the
cloth, and as we both acknowledged this, we laughed out loud.

Chad came
back to the bed, and assumed the position we had been in. For the first
time, he let his hands explore without inhibition. He explored my chest and
my stomach, my back, my legs and my inner thighs. He teased around my
crotch, making me buck a little as he approached and turned away with his
hand. I felt completely comfortable with him. I gave him a friendly push,
and said "you fucker, cut it out."

He laughed, joking "oh yeah? oh yeah?"
The next thing his hand found the slit of my boxers and reached inside to
feel my erection. He popped it out of the hole and held it in his hand.
"This better?" He asked, though without the upturn in pitch that normally
distinguishes a question.

"Yeah," I moaned, approaching ecstasy. He slowly
began stroking my dick up and down, staring at my member. I laid my head
back, closed my eyes, and breathed hard. Chad stroked me for a few moments,
and as I got to the point where my hips began to move in opposition to his
hands, Chad leaned in and kissed me again. Hard. This took me aback for a
second, and I opened my eyes to his stare.

"I kind of, well, I've
always..."

Chad seemed incapable of the clarity he usually exhibited.
Without finishing his thought, he sat up on the bed and shuffled down a bit.
His head came down towards my stomach, and as he laid his lips down near my
bellybutton, he gave me a quick glance. I must have looked like a little
kid, frightened and giddy and nervous. He too, though, looked nervous.


With that small kiss on my stomach, Chad shifted again, and moved his head
toward my penis. He lowered a bit, and stuck out his tongue to meet the head
of my dick. This sent chills through me, and I lurched a bit. Chad kept hold
of my dick, and lowered his lips over the head. I felt his tongue swirl
around the head, and I was aware of every sensation. He lowered his head
more, taking about half of the dick in his mouth, and then slowly pulled his
lips off. This pattern continued, each time taking more into his mouth,
until he could almost fit the entire length of the shaft in his mouth. I
remember the rhythmic rustling of his red hair, I remember his back muscles,
expanding and contracting with his movements. The warmth of his mouth over
my dick drew me close to orgasm, and I tried to distract myself. I shuffled
a bit, pulling Chad's legs down so that he laid in an L-shape.

I moved my
hand to his crotch, and felt the bulge. His dick jumped as I touched it
through the cloth. Trying my best not to concentrate on the sex his mouth
was giving me, I carefully unzipped his shorts, reached under his briefs,
and freed his penis. I stroked him in my hand slowly, and through my penis I
felt the vibration of his moan. I felt, once again, like I was floating atop
the bed with him. Our bodies moved as one, his mouth, my hips, his head back
and forth, mine plunging back onto the pillow in ecstasy, my hand moving
against the slight oscillation of his hips and back.

My breath grew hard
and a bit uncontrollable, and I knew I was getting close. My hips moved up
and down, my dick in and out of his mouth. I stroked him faster, wishing I
had some Vaseline, still trying to prolong the inevitable for as long as
possible. With a huge deep breath, I knew I was almost there.

Then a crisp
knock at the door. I jumped out of my dream, and stared at the door. Someone
outside shouted 'Chad, you in there? Chad? Some kid just broke something in
your kitchen." Chad looked at me, noticed my fear, and as cool as Sinatra he
took his index finger and put it up to my lips, quieting me, the whole time
holding my throbbing penis in his hands. I remembered that the door was
locked, and calmed down. I took the finger in my mouth, sucking it, as he
had been my dick. Chad laughed silently and smiled at me, and I suppose at
that moment I knew for sure I wasn't alone in my sentiment.

"Chad? Eh, I
guess he's outside." We heard the voices fade. Chad looked back up at me.


"You're pretty close, eh?" He teased me.

I let out an airy, trite "yeah"
that seemed perfect for the moment, and Chad lowered his lips back onto my
dick. I was so close, and I knew to let myself go this time. My dick was so
slippery that as Chad moved up and down it with his mouth, his hand slid
along with it. The pleasure was too much to handle, the constant contact
drove me over the edge. I tried to warn him, but he seemed unconcerned. I
surrendered to lust and let my head collapse back as my orgasm hit. My
breath quickened suddenly, and I let out several short, blunt grunts. I felt
my cum charge out into Chad's mouth, and with each of the first spurts I
only felt my passion grow, finally subsiding a bit as I re-entered reality.


After a moment, as my dick softened, Chad finally took his mouth off my
penis, wiping off the excess with the back of his hand, and just started
laughing quietly. His laughter was always addictive, and I too chimed in.
Chad turned back to me and shuffled to my side.

"What I was trying to say
was, I've been dreaming about trying that. How was it?"

Before I could
answer he thrust his lips at me, and we engaged in a long, hot kiss. Yes, I
could taste something in his kiss, but I didn't mind, not one bit. We held a
kiss for several minutes, when we both became aware of the people arguing
outside, down the hall. Chad sat up and said, "I have to see what's going
on."

I didn't want him to leave, but I understood he was going to.


"Listen, you just sleep here, I'll see what this is. Have a good sleep.
Man, I am so glad, well, you know."

At this point, standing up with a still
half-hard erection poking out of his shorts, Chad and I both laughed. He put
his penis back in his pants, zipped up, and grabbed his beer. The bulge was
still visible, and the wet spot remained, but Chad just moved towards the
door.

"Chad, uh, aren't you going to wait a second?" Looking down, Chad saw
what I meant, and shrugged, "nah, no need."

He opened the door carefully,
looked back at me, and took a swig of his beer. He made a playful face, and
spoke the word 'gulp' to me in silence. I laughed as he closed the door
behind me.

I never got to try and give him the same that night, as I was
fast asleep in minutes. The next day, as everyone left (and before I had to
go home and nurse a hangover at church, then still mandatory for our family)
Chad informed me that he had jerked off twice before going to sleep. He was
headed back to sleep, and was walking around the house that morning in
nothing but a sheet tied around his waist like a half-toga.

Church was,
for the first and last time, exciting. I was ripe that morning for a
spiritual rush.