Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2017 07:15:13 +0000 (UTC)
From: Samuel McMahan <sammcma@yahoo.com>
Subject: Chase and Lucas chapter 6

I'M SO SORRY! It's been a long time guys! Can you forgive me?

My genius plan is working!

So far, I've successfully avoided Chase for a couple weeks now. It's been
hell. But I think of him less now. There have been instances where I've
seen him in the hall at school. But I always pass by him unnoticed.

But the lack of interaction has been noticed by a few. Like my
mother. She's always asking me why Chase isn't around anymore. My lame
excuse is that he's usually busy.

But here's the thing. He's not actually busy. I had to do something that
I'm not proud of to get Chase to not come around as much.

--------------A few weeks before---------------

 "What do you mean? I thought we were friends!?"

I looked into those crystal blue eyes, and they broke my heart.

"I mean, that I think it would be best to not hang out as much. I can't
hang out with you anymore, because... Because..."

"Because what?"

Because I'm in love with you. Because you mean way too much to me. Because
you're too good for me.

"Because I'm sick of being your second choice. If you've not noticed,
anytime we have plans, and some girl comes up to you and flaunts her body
at you, I become second. I just can't take being a second option anymore."

"But I thought you were OK with this? I asked you if me not being there
would be OK. You said sure. If this wasn't a big deal, then why didn't you
say something? Why would you ever think that you are my second. You are my
best friend. You are so much a one of a kind person. If you had said that
you needed me, I would have been there in an instant. Forget the girl. You
are too important to me."

I could feel my resolve breaking. But I have to remind myself why I'm doing
this. I'm hurt that he would chose me second. But I know that he is better
off without me. He deserves better than me. And I know how I can give him
that. I say the last words that will probably ruin my friendship with him
forever.

"I deserve better than you."

I see a look of pain cross his face. The pain slowly morphs to anger. And
finally settles to sadness.

"You're right. You do deserve better than me. I won't lie. I've been a
shitty friend, and you are one of the best things that has ever happened to
me. But you do deserve better. When I leave here, you will never hear from
me. I'll never approach you. And you will never have to hear from me
again... Unless you want to."

After that, he got up, and left.

I cried a while, even though it was all my fault. But this is for the best.

----------Present day------------

I'm not proud of how I handled that situation. And I miss him. I miss being
able to talk to him. I miss being able to hear his voice. But he is better
off without me.

Since I'm not hanging out with Chase, I had to find a new table to sit at
during lunch. And I also had to acquire a new friend. Or friends I
guess. None of them are as great as Chase. But they are more on my
level. We're all nerds from orchestra.

One is a girl named Mae. She plays the cello. And beautifully if I may
add. She's a bit of a math nerd, and I can talk with her all day about
anything... Well, except boys of course. Mae is also a beautiful girl. I
may be gay, but I know beauty when I see it. She's Indian. Not
Native-American. But actual Indian, with long flowing black hair, perfect
and flawless skin. She wears a pair of glasses. And she's not your typical
girl. She'll do the craziest things to make you laugh. It's part of the
reason why I like hanging out with her. She'll be crazy just to lift your
mood.

The other friend is a percussionist named Juan. He's also a player on the
football team. But not part of the in-crowd. He usually plays the timpani,
which is one of my favorite percussion instruments. One might say I'm a
timp-ho-ni. Hehehe. He did say a few things about me not hanging out with
Chase. But we've never gone in depth. I must say, Juan is pretty good
looking. He's got a bit of a muscular build, green eyes, strawberry blond
hair, and stands about 6 even. And he is Hispanic. I believe his family if
from Argentina. And the accent is such a killer.

 It's lunch time now, and while I almost go to sit at the football table, I
remind myself I don't sit there anymore and head to my new table. Mae's
stuff is already there. And I saw Juan walking in a couple of seconds
ago. I go get in line and get some food and join Mae, who is looking at
what appears to be a completed assignment.

I sit down next to her and begin eating.

"Hey."

"What's up Mae? Is that last nights homework"

"Yeah. I'm just giving it a last minute glance, making sure I've gotten
everything correct."

One last thing about Mae, she's super scary smart.

"Knowing you, it's probably been correct from the get-go" Said Juan as he
goes to sit opposite us. He stares for a second at me.

"What?"

He takes a second to finish chewing.

"I've been asked to see how you were doing."

"I'm... Ok?"

He studies me for a bit.

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Destroy Chase? He's been a terrible player since you stopped hanging out
with him. He asks me constantly if you're OK. He's been different since you
and he stopped hanging out. What happened? Why did you suddenly have an
interest in hanging out with us?"

I see. This conversation is going to happen now. I glance at Chase and he
seems to be having a blast right now. But I look closer and can see it's a
bit forced. What did I do?

"You guys wouldn't understand. Somethings are just better when you aren't
able to influence someone else?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mae asks.

"Just trust me. It's better if I don't hang out with him. He's better off
without me."

They stare at me for a bit. I go back to staring at my food.

"Why in the ever-rotating world would you think that not hanging out with
someone would be better? Have you seen how Chase acts now? He hasn't been
himself since you stopped hanging out with him. Why wouldn't you hang out
with him? He's been one of, actually, your only close friend since you were
little. How would not hanging out with him make him better?"

"You guys just wouldn't understand. He would hate me if he knew some
things. So would you both, if you knew them. Can we please talk about
something else?"

"No. It's been long enough. You need to tell us what's up. Even though I've
not been your friend that long, I will always be there for you. You're my
friend. Nothing will ever change that. Just tell me what's up." Said Mae.

"Same here."

Fine. If they want to know what's up. Then they asked for it. I take a deep
breath.

"Ihaveacrushonhimandi'mgay."

They stare at me for a second or so before asking me to say that slower.

I lower my voice and say "I have a crush on him. I'm also gay."

I feel... Better. It's good to let someone else know.

"OK. Is that all?" They say simultaneously.

My mouth dropped.

"Wait. You two don't care?"

They glance at each other for a second before bursting out with laughter.

"No. We've actually known for a while now. If people look close enough,
they can see tiny things that you do that tell you're gay. And there's
nothing wrong with it. This isn't he 20th century. We aren't going to hang
you or anything.

"However, you need to tell Chase how you feel. Even if he can't reciprocate
the feelings, he can help you move on. Or, you at least need to make up
with him. He doesn't deserve to be punished. And neither do you."

I think on this for a few seconds.

"I'll consider telling him. But do you really think he will want to be my
friend after I was such an ass to him? I said some hurtful things. They
weren't that bad. But they weren't nice either."

"As far as I can tell, he'd be happy to become your friend again." Juan
says.

"OK. Maybe I'll do it."

Mae says "You better. He needs you. And you need him. You guys are really
close. I'm sure he'll still be your friend through anything."

"Ok. I'll do it. Maybe today."

The bell rings and ends lunch.

---------------Later that day---------------

"Hey Chase. Wait up!"

He turns around, and I can see his face light up, before it darkens again.

He doesn't say anything as I get closer. He just studies me with a pair of
sad blue eyes.

"Soooo, I really want to apologize. I said some of the most dumb things
ever. And I never meant it. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

I see anger flash across his face.

"You're sorry you ripped my heart up? How can you say such a thing? You
were supposed to be my friend. But instead of being my friend, you tore my
heart out and shredded it like it was nothing."

I'm crying by this point. "I just thought that you deserve someone better
than me. And you do. I'm not good enough to be your friend. You're
perfect. And I'm not. But I am sorry."

As soon as I said that, his anger immediately dissipated.

"How are you not good enough for me?"

I glance up at him from the ground.

"What do you mean? You're the football god. You're Mr. Perfect. You can
have any girl you could ever want. Compared to me, you are literal
perfection. I could never be good enough to deserve your attention. I'm
just some gangly music nerd. You're this amazing, kind, god-like guy. I'm
nothing."

"You can do things that I could never do. I can't play the piano. And being
able to play a musical instrument will probably get you farther than my
football can. How could you ever think so little of yourself? You're an
amazing guy Luke. If it ever came between choosing you and someone else as
a friend, you would win every time."

"Do you mean that? Can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can. Just promise me one thing. Don't ever make me lose you
again. I... I can't live without you."

I smile and go to hug him. It feels good to be back in these arms.

"Never again."


Hey y'all!!!! Thanks for reading!

I know in the last chapter, I posted a link for you all to click on if you
wanted email updates. However, I and a few other people have experienced
issues with it. Therefore, please use this one instead.
https://goo.gl/forms/itc6lZAs3ABNYuUt1 It should work a lot better! As
always, if you want to email me, do so here: sammcma@yahoo.com. I promise
to email back as soon as possible! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!