Date: Sun, 31 Aug 2008 07:32:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: JMH <trandar2002@yahoo.com>
Subject: Circle the Noun Chapter 38

Robert removed Josh's seat belt and shook his lover awake long enough to
get him out of the car and upstairs to the bedroom.  Outside the room Aidan
waited for Robert to come out.  When he did finally show up he was carrying
all of Josh's clothes including the boxers he had been wearing.

"Where did you take him? his clothes smell like they have spent the week in
a cigar shop?"

"Just the usual bars and clubs," Aidan replied.

"I guess I've forgotten how they can be," Robert sighed, thinking back to
his wild youth.

"You still have quit the reputation in the baths," Aidan said, thinking
Robert would like the joke.

"Aidan?" Robert said his voice suddenly becoming stern.

"Yes? "  Aidan asked, nervous.  While he was more athletic than Robert,
Robert's age and deeper voice gave him an air of authority about him.

"I am fine with you taking Josh to the bar and clubs but I never want to
hear that you took him to a bath or swinger's club.  Am I making myself
clear."

"I don't think Josh would ever want to go to those sort of places let alone
be active in them."

"Yes? I know.  The reason for me asking is that Josh knows very well that I
used to go to the baths.  What he does not have a clear idea of is what
really goes on in those sort of places.  I would rather him not know."

"I understand? was the baths why you two broke up?  All I would hear from
Andrew was that you were such a slut."

"I was a slut," Robert agreed.  "But it is not uncommon for gay men to act
out that way.  For me sex was just sex? it had nothing to do with love.  I
loved Josh but I did not see why it should have interfered with my fun.
Since Josh didn't seem to have a problem with me having fun I thought it
was ok.  It was not ok though.  I always worried that Josh would leave me
for someone else.  I didn't feel like I deserved Josh.  When I contracted
syphilis I felt is was a sign but instead of taking it as a warning I took
it to mean that Josh would be better off without me.  The truth though is
that from the day we first met, Josh has needed me and I needed him.  I
give him the sense of security and love he requires and I get the love and
family ever orphaned child dreams of.

"Then why are you so open to me taking Josh out on 'dates'?" Aidan asked
overwhelmed by the deep love Robert was expressing for Josh.

"Because my Josh is still lonely.  He has me, his family, and his
co-workers but no real independent friends.  As his lover there are just
some things he can't tell me.  The same goes for his family.  Josh is close
to Glenn and Kyle at work but Josh has always kept a level of
professionalism with them."

"Why me then?"

"Well first, while you are 13 years younger than Josh, I am guessing you
have more street smarts about you than Josh can ever have."

"He is a little naïve," Aidan agreed chuckling softly.

"He grew up on a farm and went to college practically already married to
his ex-wife Terry," Robert agreed, laughing as well.  "Josh didn't go to
bars in college, didn't experiment with drugs, he is basically as vanilla
as they come.

"Still? why me?"

"Because Josh and I will be moving in a year? either down to Florida or
west to California.  Los Angles, San Diego, and Miami are not Kansas City.
I should know? I lived several years in San Diego.  The weather will be
warmer but Josh will have to get used to a different sort of people? a much
colder people sadly to say."

"Josh is a pretty smart guy? I think he knows that."

"Yes? it will still depress Josh though and that is my main worry."

"How bad is Josh's depression? Andrew and I talked about it a few times."

"It is very hard to tell.  Josh is a master of hiding how he really feels?
even from me.  I can usually tell if he is feeling bad.  I just can never
be sure how bad he is really feeling."

"Do you know the reason for it?"

"Well, at first I thought it had to only do with his struggle with being
gay but after he and I got over a few bumps it was no longer a problem.
Still though Josh will get sad every now and then.  No? the real reason I
think Josh gets depressed is that he HAS to have people like him.  He tears
himself up inside when he thinks someone hates him.  The sad part though is
that Josh automatically assumes that everyone hates him from the get go.
Only after he moves heaven and earth to prove to someone that he is a good
person does he relax and believe the person likes him.  That is why I want
Josh to have more friends.  He needs to be shown that he does not have to
prove himself in order for people to like him."

"It just helps that I am in training to become a psychiatrist?"

"Yes? and that you are attracted to him.  Of course I don't want you to
take Josh on as a patient? just a friend."

"You do know that I want to fuck his ass," Aidansaid, getting straight to
the point.

"Yes? I also know that you are most likely infected with AIDS and will,
therefore, show some restraint."

"You do know that your boyfriend has a lot of admirers."

"My fiancé? soon to be husband," Robert corrected.  "Yes? I do know that
there are not a few men who would like to get into his pants, let alone is
wallet.  I don't think Josh realizes what a catch he really is which is all
part of his charm.

"Well he got a little taste of both?" Aidansaid before explaining what
happened at the gym and bar.

"Good, I see you are looking out for him then.  Just make sure you never
leave his side.  We players can be like piranha when a piece of hot ass
comes into the room."  Robert chuckled.

"You're telling me? the moment I saw Josh I wanted to see what was
underneath those nice pants of his."

"Just remember? you can look, but no touching? unless Josh makes the first
move."

Aidan sighed. "Well then, that will never happen."

"Not unless Josh falls in love with you.  You see, Josh is much more
serious about sex than I have ever been.  It has never been about fun or
pleasure? it has only been about love.  Not surprisingly Josh has had a
much more restricted sex life than most guys, gay or straight.  Josh will
only have sex with people he is in love with.  So far there has only been
two people? Andrew and me.

"But I thought you said that you didn't want me to fool around with Josh?"
Aidan asked confused.

"I don't? but there is a lot more to love making than fucking and sucking?
maybe one day Josh will teach you that.

"He is already teaching me how to act laid back," Aidan agreed.

"Well good night."  Robert yawned seeing that is was nearly three in the
morning.

"Good night."  Aidan grinned, heading for the basement stairs.

Soon Robert was stripped down naked and spooned up behind Josh.  As he
nuzzled his face against the back of Josh's hair, Robert sort of wished he
had made Josh shower before putting him to bed.  His hair still had the
smell of burnt tobacco about it.  As Robert had gone to bed plenty of
times, smelling like a bar, this should not have bothered him, but it did.
He was getting old and he hated it.  Part of him was happy being a mature
adult with Josh by his side, but another part of him? the old part of his
personality missed the wild excitement of his youth.  He missed going into
a bar and being able to pick out any guy he wanted to take back home for a
quick fuck.  Robert just did not understand why he had such a problem with
monogamy.  Back when he was with Dan? he still messed around with other
guys.  The three months he had been back with Josh had been the longest he
had ever gone in having only one sex partner.  Robert knew his love for
Josh would keep him from cheating on him again, he just didn't want to make
that kind of sacrifice unless he had no other choice.  It was the
challenge? the trick of being able to seduce any guy in the world that
Robert got a thrill from, one which Robert could not get from a committed
lover.  Robert knew that one day? a day fast approaching, he would no
longer be able to play the game.  He still looked younger than his 47 years
but when he got into his fifties and sixties he was sure that no college
student hunk would give him a second look unless he paid him to.  Robert
knew he should just accept it as a part of life but the fighter inside
didn't want to give up.  In a way? his desire to cheat on Josh was Robert's
way of proving that he deserved Josh, that Josh was not just pitying him,
that he was still as sexual desirable as Josh was.

That might have been the hardest thing Robert was now dealing with being
back with Josh.  When he and Josh had first started dating, it was Robert
who had been considered the lead man and Josh the lucky one.  Now though,
13 years later, Josh was the one considered the prime catch and most
desirable man in Kansas City.  In a way Robert felt he had been dropped to
the role of supportive spouse.  It was not a role Robert was used to
having.

Underneath the mattress was Robert's little black book, something that he
had not opened in a long time.  As he tried to fall asleep Robert could
almost feel it burning against his stomach, calling out to him for one more
go.

***************************************************************

At one end of the room was Philip, a wide grin on his face.  On the other
end was Galen struggling with both nervousness and excitement.

"Where's Nathan?" Galen asked? hoping to not be alone with Philip's
predatory look.

"He's with David."

"Where is David then?"

"With Nathan," Philip continued to tease.

"Why won't you tell me where they are?" Galen almost pouted.

Philip walked over to the door and opened it.  "Trust me, the last thing
they want is for you to walk in on them but if you really want to see them
they are in one of the offices."

Now understanding that Nathan and David had to be deep in some private time
Galen gave up trying to escape Philip's constant gaze.  "Now what?"

"Now we just talk?  Tell me? why do you think you might be gay?"  Philip
grinned as he made himself comfortable.

"I don't know if I am gay? It's just I sort of feel left out."

"Left out!"  Philip laughed.  "I never heard that reasoning before."

"Well, it's just that all my friends have turned out gay."

"You mean David and Nate?"

"Yes? I mean I used to live here, back when my parents' divorce was too
much for me.  I don't know? I just wonder why none of them ever tried to
hit on me."

"How would you have reacted to them hitting on you?"

"Well, back then I might have become angry, but now that I have had some
time to think about it I would really feel flattered," Galen was a little
embarrassed to admit.

"Ok? answer me this? when you have a wet dream, what did you dream about?"

"Girls, of course."

"Never guys?" Philip pressed, as he leaned over closer to Galen.

"Ok? after David and Nathan came out I have had a few dreams about them?
nothing really sexual mind you."

"What happened in them then?"  Philip grinned, moving his chair even closer
to Galen.

"Well? I would dream that we were in the gym showers together, all naked
and suds up.  Then all of the sudden I can't see neither David nor Nathan
and for some reason I panic.  I go looking for them but slide and fall on
the wet tiled floor.  That's when it happens? a guy I have never seen
before.  He helps be back up and leads be silently to where David and
Nathan are? both of them still naked but now with their arms together.  The
imaginary man stands behind me his arms around my waist."

"Your naked waist?"  Philip grinned.

"Yes?"  Galen blushed.

"So how did Galen Jr. respond?"

Galen lowered his head down as if ashamed. "Well? uhm? it became hard."

"Like now?"  Philip smiled as he reached over to Galen's lap and gave the
growing mound there a squeeze.

"Hey!"  Galen rolled his seat away.

"Sorry?" Philip said now blushing as well.

There was a long silence before Philip cleared his throat and stood up.
"Come with me? I want to do an experiment."

"You are not going to try and get me with my clothes off?"

"No? I promise I won't even touch you? deal?"

Galen remained wary "Ok?"

Philip took a DVD case from next to his computer and led Galen downstairs
to the den where the largest tv in the house was.

"Have a seat?"  Philip grinned pointing to the sofa while he went over to
the DVD player and loaded it up with three disks from the case.

"What are we going to watch? a gay sex ed tape?"  Galen laughed.

"Sort of? it is all part of uncle Robert's collection," Philip said as he
took a seat next to Galen on the sofa.

"Collection of what?"

"You'll see."  Philip grinned as he pushed the play button.

On the large screen popped up three men, all naked, with one in the middle
sucking the cock of one man while being fucked from behind.

Galen jumped out of his seat.  "What!"

Philip burst into laughter pushing the pause button right in the middle of
the action.  "Which one is you?"

Galen, keeping his eyes down on the floor did not understand the question.
"What do you mean?"

"Which one of those guys is you?"

Galen, his face beet red with embarrassment but slowly his head went up to
look at the tv.

"Well."  Philip grinned when Galen didn't come up with a response right
away.

"None of them."

"Pick one."

"Sorry I don't like what any of them are doing," Galen insisted.

"Ok? how about this?" Philip sighed as he pushed a button on the DVD
control.

The next scene to pop up was a volleyball game between four guys dressed up
in swimsuits.  This time Galen's eyes did not leave the soft glow of the
television.  He even smiled a little when he saw all four men hug each
other when the game was over.

"So which guy are you?" Philip asked again, freezing the movie right at the
point where the men were racing to the showers.

"The short blond one," Galen said as pretty quickly.

"Why him?" Philip asked.

"Well he is not the best looking, nor the best volleyball player but?"

"But?"  Philip grinned as he moved in closer on Galen.

"Well he acts like the tag along? that is how I feel I am."

"Do you hate being the tag along?"

"Hell no?  it is sort of like being pampered."

"And you enjoy that?"

"You better believe I do? with Nathan and David I never have to worry about
what to do.  All I ever have to do is show up."

"So you don't like planning the evening."

"Hell no? I hate doing that sort of stuff."

"So in reality you've been dating guys for several years."  Philip laughed.

"I don't know if I would call it dating.  I always pay my own way."

"But David and Nathan do pick you up don't they."

"Yes?"

"They are the ones to pick the restaurants, the clubs, and so forth."

"Yes?" Galen replied feeling a little more nervous.

"So I think I can say that you have been dating them."

"No? we usually had girls with us."

"But now you know that both David and Nate are gay? so they won't be
bringing any girls with them? as dates that is.  Will you?"

"Well that would be a little awkward," Galen admitted.

Philip shifted closer to Galen so their shoulders were touching.  He then
rested a hand on Galen's thigh.  This time Galen didn't push away. "Tell
me? if given the choice of dating the girl of your dreams or hanging out
with Nate and David what would you pick?"

"Ummmm," Galen said, not sure if he wanted to answer that question.

"Come on? tell me? what do you want more, a kiss from a girl or a hug from
Nate?"

"Ummmmmm," Galen said, hanging his head in shame.

"I'm not trying to prove to you that you are gay? you might be bi or even
straight.  What I want you to be able to do is admit that you have some
pretty powerful feelings for David and Nate."

On hearing those words Galen burst into tears? "I just love them so much."

"I know? I love them also? they are a pretty amazing pair," Philip agreed
wrapping an arm around Galen's waist to comfort him.

Galen responded by resting his head on Philip's shoulder.  "Do you think
I'm messed up because I want to sleep with my best friend."

"I can't say? I never had a "best friend" to fall in love with."

"But you and Nathan?"

"We are now best friends but I really was perusing him as a lover more than
as a friend."

"But David?" Galen said knowingly.

"Yes David? I really can't compete with him.  It is sort of my fault? if I
never started dating Nate then David and Nate would never have become a
couple.  It sort of pushed David into telling Nathan his true feelings.

"So those two will be a couple even though David will be going to jail?"
Galen asked concerned.

"Well I'm not going to take advantage of the situation and steal Nathan
away?  David might really kill someone if that happened."

"So what are you?  a buttbuddy."

"Sort of? but not as often as in the beginning.  The two of them need some
private time."

"So you are not seeing anyone?"

"Nope? completely single."  Philip grinned, giving Galen's thigh a healthy
squeeze.

"I'm not sure I'm really ready for anything serious."

"Neither was Nate."  Philip grinned, moving his lips closer to Galen's.

"Knowing him, he was pretty helpless in bed."  Galen laughed.

"Not really? a good seduction can be a lot of fun," Philip said as he
wrapped an arm around the back of Galen's neck, pulling his face closer so
Philip's nose brushed against Galen's cheek.  Soon both boys were spread
out on the sofa, Philip on top of Galen, his hands already slipped under
Galen's shirt, running his hands down the other's abs.  Then to Philip's
surprise Galen pressed his lips hard against Philip's mouth, letting his
tongue slip out and wetting both of their lips.

As soon as their lips parted Philip had a wide grin on his face.  "Let's go
back upstairs."

""Yeah? that might be a good idea," Galen agreed, his breathing heavy and
his heart beating like a rabbit.

"You go upstairs? I just need to get something out of the kitchen."

"What are you going to get?"

"You'll see."  Philip smiled wickedly.

After adjusting the bulge in his pants, Galen left for the upstairs
bedroom.  Philip, with a satisfied smile on his face went to the fridge and
filled a bowl with ice cubes.  He also took out the left over can of
whipping cream from Thanksgiving dinner.  With his load, he hummed a merry
tune making his way back to the bedroom, his hard-on leading the way.

***************************************************************

One week later?

The prefab house looked a little out of place in the backyard of the
two-story redbrick home but it was the quickest solution to the space
problem.  Today, though, the blood tests Oliver, Aidan and Justin had done
were due back.  While Josh was in control of the main house, Jeremy took on
the role of running the smaller house.  He took on this role first by
giving the three newcomers a day at the spa, styling their hair himself.
The next morning though he woke all of them up six in the morning giving
them a list chores to Oliver and Justin while making sure Aidan understood
he was expected to come straight home from the hospital he was training at.

Oliver? used to maids and pampering was most resistant to any work that he
was not being paid for.  Jeremy only had to call on his hunky boyfriend,
Jeff, to wrestle Oliver for about a half hour before Oliver finally
relented.  Then once the chores were done, Josh came over to drive all of
them to the hospital where Aidan was already receiving the results of the
tests.

When they came into the office, Aidan was sitting in a chair, his face red
and wet with tears.  On seeing Josh enter he got up and ran over to him,
hugging Josh tightly.  "I'm clean!"

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't deserve to be!"

Josh wrapped his arms around Aidan and rocked him in his arms.  "How can
you say that."

"Because of all the sex I have had?  I was so sure that my life was over?
but now? What am I going to do?"

"Live life to the fullest.  Become a doctor, find yourself a man you want
to spend the rest of your life with, adopt a few kids."

Aidan had to bite his tongue to not tell Josh that he had found someone he
wanted to spend the rest of his life with? Josh himself.  He did not know
why he was falling so hard for the older man.  Josh was both mature yet
still had an innocence about him.  He was both fatherly and like a brother.
He represented all what he had wanted from his birth family? an
understanding and forgiving father, a cool brother who would go out on the
town with him, a guy who would mother him unlike like his mother who spent
most of her time either drinking or recovering from it.

"I? I?" Aidan struggled to say.

"Yes Aidan?" Josh said as he continued to rock him.

Aidan wanted to say? I love you, but held back. "I'll be ok."

"Ok? here's hoping everything turns out well for everyone else," Josh said
as he led both of them to a seat.

Unfortunately there was no good news.  Justin, who went back first came out
crying, running over to Andrew.  "I got it."

"I'm sorry, hon," Andrew said sincerely.

"What am I going to do now?"

"I am going to give you this and then you will have to make a choice,"
Andrew said taking out a jewel box.

"What is this? ? This is an engagement ring."

"Yes?"

"But why?"

"Well I like you? you like me? we both are HIV positive," Andrew said,
trying to put a spin on things.

"So if I didn't have "it" then you would not have offered me this ring?"

"That would not have been fair to you."

"I'm sorry, Andrew, but I need to think about this.  It is not just that I
will have to watch you being sick but you having to see me get sick as
well."

"That is why I think it would be a good idea? We would understand what both
of us are dealing with."

"Yes? but who will take care of us when we are both sick?"

"Well?" Andrew said, turning to look at Josh comforting Aidan.

"Would that be fair to your ex? expecting him to take care of us and watch
us one day die?"

"Hmm?"

"Come on, Andrew, we have to be real about this? I've heard about all the
side effects the meds can have.  Do you think Josh would want to watch us
throwing up or dealing with the runs.  Do you think Josh will want to deal
with all that?"

"Justin?" Andrew sighed.  Things were not going the way he had hoped for.

"I think I can make that choice for myself, Justin," Josh spoke up, leaving
Aidan's side.

"But why would you want to take care of us? I mean Andrew left you for me?
sort of.  I'm nothing more than an adulterer? a slut? that is why I got
'it'.  I'm being punished."

"Never say that!" Andrew shouted as he hugged Justin closer.  "This is my
fault.  I was the one to sleep with Vale before sleeping with you.  It is
my fault for not using protection in both cases.  I'm? I'm just trying?"

"You are trying to get my forgiveness?" Justin asked.

"Yes."

"Then just ask for it? don't go about giving me a ring, ask Josh to take
care of us and expect me to be ok with it all."

"What do you want then?" Andrew asked concerned.

"I want it to just be us? You and I taking care of each other.  I don't
want to Josh to come in the middle between us."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean?  I know that things between you and Josh are over romantically but
I can see you still love him.  I don't want to worry about jealousy."

"Ok?  but you have to understand that Josh and I share a son together.  I
was wrong to force Greg to pick between me and Josh.  How can my son be
with both of the men he sees as fathers if I force him to choose where he
wants to live again."

"I don't know? I guess it makes me pretty selfish."

"No?  you just deserve someone who can commit everything to you."

"As I said? I'm selfish," Justin pouted as he rested his head on Andrew's
chest.

"It's ok? I don't mind you being possessive of me, but I would like you to
be friends with Josh and Greg."

"Well, I just better not find you in their bed."  Justin giggled.

Well, now that that is taken cared of?"  Josh smiled, looking at Aidan, who
had an almost boyish smile on his face.

When Josh waved Aidan over, the man jumped out of his seat and went over to
hug him.  Josh could tell that the nature of Aidan's hugs was changing.
They were becoming tighter, more exploring and emotional.  Josh could not
help but respond by melting into Aidan's arms.

Everyone seemed to notice the closeness the two men were expressing, Justin
smiling widely while Andrew looked worried.  He had known Josh was lonely,
he had just not thought Josh would had tried to fill that loneliness with
Aidan.  Andrew also knew that Robert had predicted this would happen.  Just
as Andrew knew, Robert had known something was missing in Josh's life? a
friend, a deep friend.  Andrew was just not sure a younger man like Aidan
could meet Josh's needs.

Just at that moment Oliver came running out into the waiting room.  "I'm
clean!  Fuck all of you!  Fuck your little family!"

Aidan, his eyes suddenly filled with anger, went over to Oliver and decked
him.  "You didn't seem to mind having a roof over your head when no one was
willing to take you in."

"Hey? but I now have a letter from the doc? I'm clean. You don't even need
to take me back to the house.  There is a bar I know close by, by the end
of the day I'll have a place to stay."

"You mean another man to leech off of," Justin spoke up.

"Hey, it gets the bills paid.  Not all of us can be doctors and I don't see
you, Justin, doing anything to earn your keep other than lay on your back."

"I plan to train Justin to be a paralegal so he can work with me at the
office," Andrew replied.

"Oh? becoming a man about town," Oliver smirked.  "You go play office
boy. Just remember the only thing you have of value is you're a?"  Oliver
was shouting at Justin right when Andrew's fist came in contact with his
jaw sending Oliver down for the count.

"Well, that was interesting," Josh sighed, instinctively wrapping an arm
around Aidan for reason he did not yet understand.

"Should we stay here till he wakes up?" Justin asked worried that he had
caused Andrew to lose his temper.

"No?  at least I have no intention of staying."