Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 23:58:54 -0700
From: firexity vee <4plexity@gmail.com>
Subject: collide part 5

Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction that describes the love between two men.  I won't
stop you from reading, but if you get in trouble then fight them!  Fight
them in the name of love! (between two men).

I hope you guys like this chapter, and I hope the wait wasn't too
unbearable.  Now this was originally bundled with chapter four but I
thought it made more sense separating them so that chapter five will be all
about Riley.  So I apologize if the two chapters were too short.

* * *

Collide
by rexie


What happened next was something that Riley did not at all count on.  Sure,
school started, sure, he's back with Erika, and sure, the football team
worshipped him, that's all good and fine.  What surprised him the most,
though, was how his supposedly best friend Lucas was acting.  Riley could
feel that Lucas's respect for him was significantly lower than before.  Not
that it mattered, they hardly ever talk anymore after football practices.
They would see each other in the halls and Lucas would give him a simple
nod and walk away.

What's even worse, is that Riley cannot seem to find Jacob anywhere.  Not
that it mattered, he wouldn't go up and talk to him anyways.  He just
wanted to see how the boy was doing but Jacob proved impossible to find and
it was frustrating Riley to no end.

One afternoon that September, however, as Riley got an early pass out of
English to practice with Coach Brenneman, he finally found the boy.  Riley
was walking across the empty main hall and his eyes traveled to the
floor-to-ceiling window on his left.  Outside was the school's courtyard,
where there were a few people on the picnic benches underneath a canopy of
yellowing trees.  And right in the middle table was the junior, reading a
book by himself.  Riley allowed himself a minute to watch the kid, and it
was probably the most painful minute of his life.

He saw Jacob look up and beam the most amazing smile.  Initially, Riley
thought it was directed at him, but he soon found out that it was for the
approaching Lucas.  Lucas set down a bag of bagels and handed Jacob a drink
which Riley assumed to be hot chocolate.  They instantly launched into a
lively conversation while they both ate.  Riley has not seen Jacob, nor his
best friend Lucas, smile so much.  He was trying, with all his might, not
to assume the worst, but when Jacob and Lucas would stop talking, and just
look at each other intimately, sharing little smiles and blushes, Riley's
insides caught on fire.  He wanted to shatter the glass into a million
pieces and beat the shit out of his best friend.  He wanted to, and he was
aware that he was fully capable of doing it, too, but he couldn't...  So he
walked away, and drove home to wait for whatever tiny comfort he could
gather in Erika's arms.
	
* * *

The rumors spread like wildfire.  Over the next few weeks, all everyone
could talk about was the question of whether Lucas was gay.  Riley was
surely not the only one who has noticed the amount of time he spent with
the school's only gay kid, Jacob.  Everyone else saw it.  All throughout
the dark corners of the school, the girl's bathrooms, the parking lots,
everyone was speculating.  The problem was, everyone was too scared to ask
Lucas.  Jacob was less threatening, so everyday they would ask Jacob about
Lucas, and everyday Jacob would smile widely and say, "We're just good
friends."

The football team didn't give up that easily, and it was they that
initiated the day that would crush Riley and would change Celestia High.
Genesis Linder, the enormous linebacker, have been making snide comments
about Lucas behind his back.  The rest of the football team simply laughed
along with him, neither encouraging nor contradicting him.  On the morning
of the homecoming game, as several of the players were eating in the
courtyard, Genesis spotted Jacob from a distance walking alongside Penelope
and Melanie.
	
"Faggot alert," he joked, "watch out guys, he might turn you, too."  He
laughed at his own joke, not knowing that Lucas had just arrived at the
table.
	
"What the fuck did you say?" snarled Lucas.
	
Genesis flinched but he decided to save face.  "Dude, you know, the whole
school already thinks that that fag Jacob tricked you into swinging his
way," he said aloofly.
	
"Genesis, I swear if you call him that again I will fucking stuff your head
up your own ass," he yelled.
	
"So it's true what they say then?"
	
"It's none of your business who I'm with and I don't have to explain
anything to you," the courtyard was silent, and Lucas had just realized
that everyone's eyes were on him, even Jacob's from a few tables over.
"Why do you guys care so much?" he directed to everyone else, "It's not
like I go around keeping track of your love lives."  No one answered,
everyone was still listening with rapt attention, Lucas stood up.  "It's
the gay thing isn't it?  I knew it was going to be a problem.  But you know
what?  Fuck you."  He walked over to Jacob, hugged him and kissed his head.
"I'm in love with this boy," he said presenting the blushing Jacob, "I
don't fucking care what you say about me, but if I as much hear of any of
you messing with Jacob," he looked at Genesis, "I'll punish you myself."
There was a stillness in the courtyard.  It was as if everyone had frozen
in shock with the latest news.  Lucas brought his tray over to Jacob's
table.  He kissed the boy again and proceeded to eat.  Jacob recovered from
his embarrassment and started sipping his chocolate.  The courtyard's noise
resumed but it was mostly talk about Lucas and Jacob.  It would take a
while before the gravity of the situation would sink in, but for now, they
all stared at the two and definitely saw that they were very much in love.

* * *

Riley was not having the best year so far.  Coach Brenneman has yelled at
him at least twenty times for his lackluster performance, he needed to
catch up on all his schoolwork and Erika wasn't at all helping with her
wanting to constantly spend time with him.  And then there was Jacob, the
boy who starred in each and every one of his nightly dreams.  He thought it
couldn't get any worse.  He was wrong:
	
"I'm in love with this boy," Riley heard as he exited the building and
walked onto the courtyard.  It was all he needed to hear.
	
He didn't know it then, but the image of Lucas kissing a blushing Riley
coupled with the words "I'm in love with this boy," will remain clearly in
his mind in the next few months, slowly eating him away.  All he knew at
that moment was the sorrowful torment that he could feel burning his very
skin.  Was it real what he felt for Jacob?  He didn't know, but Jacob being
in another man's arms was something that neither his mind nor his heart
could process.  He hated the fact that his body was acting this way, so he
threw away the uneaten food that he had already paid for, rushed to his car
and headed for home, all the while trying to stifle the rising feeling to
crash the car.
	
"FUCK!" he yelled as he remembered he had to be in school for the
homecoming game that night.  He couldn't just abandon his duties as captain
so he made an illegal U-turn and sped back towards the way he came.
	
"It's going to be alright," he started telling himself, "It's going to
be....alright."

* * *

Every year for homecoming, Celestia High's football team plays against
their rival high school, Acheron High.  And every year, the Celestia
Cougars beat the Annihilators.  So, in effect, the homecoming dance has
always been a celebration of the victory.  And of course, Erika has been
the homecoming queen for the past three years.
	
It was almost miraculous that Riley scored the winning touchdown, given the
fact that he hasn't been on top of his game.  The crowd of Celestians was
going insane when the the siren signaled the end of the game.  Erika ran to
the field to kiss Riley hard on the lips, right before his teammates lifted
him up on their shoulders.  Everyone was pretty much worshipping their
football god with cheers.  This was everything that Riley had ever hoped
for.  But he wasn't the least bit happy about it.
	
High on his teammates' shoulders, Riley could clearly see the stands.  He
could clearly see where Jacob was as he had been watching the boy
throughout the game.  Worst of all, he could clearly see the boy in Lucas's
arms, kissing him with much passion.  The rest of the spectators were too
busy cheering that they hardly even noticed the two lovers.  Lucas probably
ran to Jacob immediately after the game and they were having a very
intimate moment in a sea of anonymity.
	
The crowd started to chant his name.  The team was screaming in
celebration.  Erika's breasts were bouncing alongside the parade.  And yet,
Riley felt that this wasn't the best way to celebrate the win.

* * *

After the commotion in the field, the charged spirit of the football team
rampaged onto the locker rooms.  Each team member patted Riley's back,
congratulating him on the winning touchdown.  When Lucas approached, Riley
faked an enthusiastic smile.
	
"Hey man," started Lucas, "nice touchdown back there."
	
"Yeah?  Thanks, Lucas," Riley replied curtly.  "Hey listen, are you going
to the dance?"  Riley asked automatically, although he already knew that
Lucas hated homecoming dances.  He has never gone to a single one in the
past three years they have been in Celestia.
	
"Fuck yea!" said Lucas with real enthusiasm.
	
"What?  I thought you hated those dances," Riley felt the direction of the
conversation, and he stifled any feeling whatsoever.
	
"I did, but this time I get to dance with Jacob," he smiled widely,
bouncing on his toes, "how can I pass that up?"
	
Riley winced.  "That's...great."
	
"Hey listen, I gotta go change.  I'll see you at the dance in a few, ok?"
	
Riley merely waved and finished changing.  He was supposed to go meet up
with Erika at her house and drive her to the dance, but with the prospect
of what's ahead, Riley just wanted to go home.
	
After gathering all his things, Riley left the still boisterous locker room
and headed up to the field, expecting it to be empty.  He was walking in
the direction of the parking lot when he heard voices in the stands.
Immediately, he recognized them as Penelope, Melanie, and of course, Jacob.
	
"Ooooh, come on Melanie spill," said Penelope.
	
"It's no one, okay!  Just some boy," said Melanie.
	
"Now, Mel, that's not what I heard.  Stephie Hall told me that he's the
hunk of the Calculus Club," it was Jacob's voice, and Riley walked over as
if automatically.
	
"What's his name?" asked Penelope.
	
"Marcus Trent..." Melanie almost whispered.
	
Penelope shrieked in excitement, "Marcus and Melanie!  Oh!  How cute!  M&M!
I can't believe the three of us all have dates for homecoming!  Me with
Ethan, Melanie with this Marcus, and you with......Riley!"
	
"What?  I'm going with Lucas, remember?" objected Jacob.
	
"H-Hey...Jacob," said Riley hushly.  Penelope and Melanie were looking at
him with supreme hatred.  They obviously knew about what had happened.
	
"Hi Riley," said Jacob, a little unevenly.
	
"Can I talk to you for a second?...alone?" Riley didn't know what he was
doing.  God, he didn't even know what to say to Jacob.  He just wanted so
much to spend the tiniest amount of time with Jacob, and this seems like
the only chance he'll get.
	
"Why?!" said Melanie and Penelope in unison, they were still throwing him
murderous looks.
	
Riley ignored the girls.  He focused all of his attention on Jacob,
"Jacob...please?  I just want to talk, that's all."
	
As hard as he tried, Jacob couldn't refuse Riley.  The boy was so
vulnerable in front of him and Jacob could just as easily send him on his
way, but he couldn't.  "Alright.  But only for a little bit."
	
The girls looked incredulously at Jacob, but being the friends they were,
they chose not to object.  Jacob followed Riley to the middle of the
expansive football field.  It was rather dark, so the stars up above were
glimmering with fantastic intensity, Jacob looked up in time to see a
shooting star surf across the night sky.
	
Riley was silent.  His palms were sweating, his pulse was racing, and his
thoughts were all over the place.  All his energy was centered on not
grabbing Jacob in the middle of the field and kissing him.
	
"Is everything okay, Riley?" Jacob broke the silence.
	
"I just wanted to talk..." Riley said, stopping and facing Jacob.
	
"Okay," Jacob looked away.  He wasn't going to let Riley's eyes consume
him.  Not again.  Back at the stands, he could see Lucas join the girls,
and he could almost feel him being worried.
	
"I-is it true?" Riley finally said, facing Lucas's general direction.
	
"What is?"
	
"You and Lucas.  Are you two really...in love?" Riley couldn't understand
why this was so hard for him to ask.  It was almost as if he was confirming
what he feared in the first place.
	
Jacob paused and allowed himself to look at Riley for a second.  He still
looked like the cocky football jock that Jacob knew, but a lot less
confident.  Jacob was trying to come up with something to say.  He knew
what he felt about Lucas, he was sure of that.  But, how could Riley still
manage to get under his skin?  How could this boy in front of him make him
so nervous about saying the wrong things?  "Lucas...is good to me," he
started slowly.  "For the past two months we've gotten to know each other a
lot and what I found out about him I really liked.  He helped me nurse my
mother back to health.  He took me to San Francisco and it was much more
romantic than I ever thought it could be.  This morning, he just told the
whole freaking school that he loved me."  He needed to convince Riley that
he was alright without his "friendship", that his body didn't quiver at his
sight.  "I mean, Riley, how could you not love someone who does that?"
	
Every word.
	
Every word that came out of Jacob's mouth were like deliberate stabs at
Riley's heart.  And he's finally starting to understand why.
	
"Were you...I mean, I thought...I thought you liked me?" Riley's mouth was
moving by itself.  He heard what he asked and he knew how absurd the
question was, but it was too late to take it back.
	
Jacob was taken aback.  He didn't expect Riley to ask him this.  He stopped
for a moment to think about what to say.  Riley watched him closely as if
waiting for a confirmation.  The silence stretched on for eternity and
Jacob just looked at Riley.
	
Finally, he smiled, "I did like you, Riley.  I owe you my life, pretty
much, and after that night I expected us to be really close friends."
	
 Jacob turned around and started walking back to the bleachers.  "But
things have a way of turning out unexpectedly.  And here we are now."  He
turned to give Riley a somber look before walking away.
	
Riley watched as the distance between him and Jacob slowly grew.  A better
part of him wanted to call him back, but he knew it would be pointless.  He
looked up to see two shooting stars pass by.
	
How could it be that the one thing he could wish for was walking away?

* * *

Riley tried to have a good time at the dance because Erika sure was having
a blast.  The darkened gymnasium was filled with almost everyone in the
school and they all wanted to go up to Riley and congratulate him
themselves.  Erika loved the attention that he was receiving, for she knew
it would ensure another year as queen.

"Let's dance," pouted Erika.

"Let's not," said Riley.  He didn't want to mix in with the crowd in the
dance floor.  Not when he knew who was there.

"Aww, come on!  They're about to announce Homecoming Court soon so we
should at least dance before they crown us!"  She held out her hand and
practically dragged Riley onto the middle of the dance floor.  As they were
dancing, he tried to erase Jacob from his mind.  His life was now back to
normal so he didn't understand why a big part of him still wanted to
disrupt that.

Erika was dancing closer and closer to Riley when at the corner of his eye,
he caught the unmistakable grace that is Jacob on the dance floor.  He
couldn't help but look and get reminded of the first time he ever laid eyes
on him.  He was beautiful.  The boy was wearing Lucas's letterman jacket.
Riley cringed.

Him and Lucas were intertwined in their own gyrations, lost within their
very own movements.  The sky could very well fall down around them, and yet
they still wouldn't know.

And the one thing that Riley could not fathom was the fact that everyone in
Celestia High was so accepting.  Lucas kisses Jacob in front of them and
not one of them bats an eye.  Sure they were shocked the first time, but
Lucas was still as respected as he was even before he came out.  Life
wasn't fair, thought Riley.

"Okay, okay, settle down," said the principal onstage.  The dancing bodies
stopped to listen.  "It's time to announce this year's Homecoming King &
Queen!  Now remember that the King & Queen would immediately be part of the
Student Activities Board and would have to plan one school spirit event by
themselves.  So, without further ado," he opens up the first envelope he
was holding, "this year's Queen is...Erika Evers!"

Why did he care so much about what everyone around him thought, anyway?
Why did he need to have the perfect girlfriend?  Why did he have to be the
most popular guy in school?

"And this year's King is....oh but of course, our football hero, Riley
Gabriel!"  Riley hesitantly walked up the stage to take the crown as the
band started playing slow music for the King and Queen's first dance.
Riley was still lost in his thoughts, absent-mindedly keeping his eyes on
Jacob who was watching him from the side.

It all seemed too much like a role.  It was as if he was born and everybody
just decided that he was to be this jock who would be homecoming King and
who would date the prettiest girl in school.  And he was cursed his whole
life to try and live up to that.

"Come on boy!" he remembered his father yelling, "that's not how you throw
a football!  You're throwing it like a pansy!  I tell you now, boy, no
Gabriel is going to be a pansy!"

Maybe I am a pansy, Riley thought to himself, too scared to even try and
change this fucked up reality.  He was always doing what everyone else
expected of him.

"But things have a way of turning out unexpectedly," he heard Jacob's voice
play again in his head.

"And here we are now," Riley said lowly.  Erika looked up at him, while
still trying to dance along with the romantic music.

"What's that, baby?" asked Erika.

For this first time in their relationship, Riley noticed how much makeup
Erika had on.  He noticed how the blondness of her hair looked
too...unreal, and how her breasts were always so close to exposure.  "It's
so....fake."

"What is?" asked Erika, feigning concern.

"Everything..." he murmured.  He knew he wasn't making much sense, but
Erika didn't seem to notice, or care.  Right now, the one thing he could
think of that made sense in his life was saving Jacob's life.

"Hm...What do you want to do about it?" asked Erika softly, resting her
cheek onto his chest.

"We could just....keep on dancing...."

He could just keep this oh-so-perfect life that he always thought he
wanted.  He could marry Erika and have 2.5 kids, and become a senator.  He
could keep living with himself knowing that somewhere was a boy that made
him happy once.

Or he could just stop being a fucking pansy and do what he really wanted.

I think I'll choose the second option, he thought to himself.


Years and years from now, Riley would look back at this moment and smile,
knowing that he made the right choice.

* * *

To be continued.

***

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