Date: Mon, 22 Aug 2016 19:34:35 -0500
From: David Achterhof <bigdizzy21@gmail.com>
Subject: coming out of my shell 11

      Spring break came and went. Course loads started getting harder as we
were moving toward finals with too much homework and studying. Of course,
my 'beast' tried for sex every time I was trying to study. Believe me, most
of the time I just ignored him, but that only resulted in my being in
receipt of his 'puppy dog' look, which worked the first few times, I'm sad
to report. I can't help it, he is so hot and when he gives me the eyes I
can't resist. Damn him and he knows that but I eventually was able to fend
him off. I'd threaten him that if he didn't let me study he was getting cut
off for a month. Needless to say, he never bothered me again while I was
studying. Although I must admit he was desirable when we all were studying,
he would rub my thigh trying to get me to stop. So I'd just give him a look
and he stopped looking like a whipped puppy. I love this man; he is
everything to me and he is so adorable, when he wants to be, of course to
me he is always handsome as ever.

      I was studying for finals when Carl came back from his last class
carrying the mail; he handed me mine. I started to go through it when I got
to an envelope that stopped me in my tracks it was an invitation to Tommy's
graduation ceremony next month. I very much wanted to attend. Next to
Marcus, he is the one I love the most in the world. However, I don't know
if I am ready to see my parents again because it was Tommy's day and I did
not want to cause a scene and fill it with over the top drama episodes. I
got up and went to my room to lay down. I guess I had fallen asleep because
Carl was waking me up for dinner. "Davis dinner is ready, come and eat."
Pulling myself together, I went to dinner.  We ate mostly in silence and by
the time we were washing the dishes, Carl decided to ask, "So what's wrong
with you?"

      I looked down and said "I got an invitation from Tommy to his
graduation ceremony in June."

      "Am I missing something here? Isn't that a good thing?"

      "Yes, it's a very good thing but I don't want to cause a scene with
my parents there." I said looking down at the soapy water.

      "Damn it, Davis, how do you think Tommy would feel when he looks in
the audience and doesn't see you? He wants his big brother there to
celebrate this achievement in his life!! You're going even if Marcus and I
have to drag you there!" Carl was quite serious and the look on his face
said not to follow my line of thought.

      "Okay, I will go.  We will just coordinate with my brother so I avoid
my parents altogether."

      I am definitely a basket case as we were in the car on our way to the
ceremonies. Tommy and I had been talking about our plans to see each other
without our parents, hopefully it will work out. We arrived at the stadium
and I called Tommy who told me our parents were sitting in the middle so we
went under the stadium and came around and sat on the far end. I met up
with some old friends and introduced Marcus. They were all happy for me and
the girls were drooling over Marcus, which made me happy. I am starting to
get pride out of people drooling over my fianc?. We all sat down and
listened to all of the boring speeches. I cheered for both of my brothers,
I'm so proud of both of them. After the ceremony was over we made our way
down to the field and I started looking for Mario.

      I heard a voice behind me call out, "Davis over here!" I turned and
Mario wrapped me in a bear hug.  "Hey little bro! congrats!" I was able to
get out before the breath was squeezed from me. He let me go to hug both
Marcus and Carl. Mario's parents walked up to us; I gave his mom a hug and
his dad shook my hand. I introduced them to Marcus and Carl. Then turned to
Mario and handed him his present, I got him his favorite candy a giant bag
of skittles and a check for two hundred dollars, Mario looked at me with a
shocked look on his face "Davis this is too much." I pulled him into a hug,
"Nonsense you are a brother to me and I can give you what I want." We took
a couple of pictures together.

      Then went to find my brother we had made it through most of the crowd
when I found him. He was standing with my parents. I stopped dead in my
tracks my father saw me and instantly showed his disdain. I turned around
to walk away when Mario grabbed my hand. "And just where are you going?"

      "Tommy is with his parents and I don't want to create anything to
ruin his day." I said looking at the ground starting to feel like a
complete loser thinking that things would somehow be any
different. Continuing to walk away, I was almost to the gate when I heard,
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I knew instantly who it
was. Trying to relax, I lowered my shoulders as I turned around looking at
my brother who was definitely pissed. He had every right to be. I walked
away instead of going over to him I let my father win. He came over to me
and hugged me.

      "I'm sorry Tommy. I love you so much that I didn't want to cause any
commotion on your day. When we found you and dad saw me he looked at me
with a condescension as if I were an abomination."

      "First off, screw dad! You are my brother. I love you and I want you
here! Second, do you know just how much it hurt when I saw you walking away
from me?"

      "I'm sorry Tommy I'm just not ready to handle this yet. I know it's
been a year but apparently dad is not dealing with it."

      "Please come back with everyone and take some pictures. I want a
picture with my brothers and my future brother and law" Tommy said. He
didn't realize that I saw the tear that wanted to fall from his eye.

      "Okay, I can handle that."

      "Then, you are going to come by the house and we are going to settle
this once and for all. Do you understand me?" Tommy said sternly. I had
never seen him like this before.

      "Fine but don't expect anything to change you know how stubborn our
dad can be"

      We walked back to our group and took more pictures with Mario and
Tommy until they left. As we went to our car, I told Carl and Marcus we
were going to my parents' house at the order of my younger brother. So we
left for my house I was extremely nervous for this confrontation since I
haven't spoken to either of my parents in a year. This was not going to go
well at all and I knew it wasn't but I have to do this I need to get this
over with no more running I need to face my father know matter what. He may
hate me for the rest of my life but I hope after this I'm feeling a lot
better about myself so that I can move on.

      We pulled up and were able to park right in front of the house. Tommy
was waiting there. "I'm glad you came" as we hugged.

      "Yeah I know. If I didn't you would have hunted me down and beat my
butt and Marcus likes his playground, so I can't let you do that" I said
with a sly grin on my face

      "First off, you don't know that. Second? Yeah, I would have hunted
you down" he said with a smile but then he turned serious, "Are you ready
for this?"

      "As ready as I will ever be" I said sounding anxious as we walked
inside the house and into the living room. I looked over at dad and I could
tell he is fuming. I couldn't read mom; I never could. Marcus and I sat on
the couch and Carl sat in a chair while Tommy remained standing. I believed
this was not going to end well.

      Tommy still hadn't said a word he just looked at everyone several
times. The tension in the room steadily rose. You could smell it, taste it,
see it, feeling it wrap around you in a confining hug.

      "I asked all of you here because I'm sick and tired of the feud that
is going on between my parents and my brother." Gathering his breath, Tommy
continued, "Dad, I don't understand why you hate Davis so much because he
is gay. So what if he is? You fathered this man. How can that love for him
disappear by him being gay?"

      There was silence for a few seconds.  I looked at my dad who was
keeping stone-faced. I couldn't tell if he was thinking about what Tommy
said or not. Tommy continued, "Mom, I don't know how you feel, you never
talk about it. I guess you just agree with dad. Dad I love you, but I also
love my brother very much and I want him around for holidays, but he won't
come here because he isn't welcomed." He paused to regain his emotions
which were about to burst. "Do you realize that on one of the most
important days of my life that my brother didn't want to come because of
you he didn't want to cause a drama; so he wasn't going to be
there. Luckily Carl knocked some sense into him."

      There was more silence and I decided I needed to say something. "Dad,
you may not like me and that's fine. I have accepted that I don't need you
to be a father to me, Carl and Marcus dads have been there for me this past
year." I paused to calm down, "This year has been hard for me to deal
with. Over the holidays I was a mess. Uncle Seth and papa Jacob were
fathers to me. They made me come to terms with who I am as a person." I
felt a tear start rolling down my cheek. "They helped me, as did Marcus,
Carl and Tommy. I have grown this year not only in myself physically but
emotionally. My relationship with Marcus has never been stronger in fact
it's so strong that he asked me to marry him and I said yes."

      My emotions were so strong that I could not stop tears from falling.
Now that everything was laid out in front of them, I was crying out now and
there was no stopping. "That day was the happiest of my life so far and I
wish I had parents to share it with. Most parents would be excited that
their son is getting married to a future doctor but I guess you will always
be contemptuous maggots." Looking at my dad, I could tell he wasn't paying
attention not even looking at me "LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!"

      I knew this was a travesty. "Mom, Dad. . . You will not hear me use
those names again, ever. AND, you will definitely not see me again. From
now on, you cease to exist for me." I hugged Tommy and kissed his cheek,
"Thanks for trying, bro. I love you and will see you soon." With that, I
walked deliberately out the door, heading straight to the car; Marcus and
Carl hot on my heels. Exhausted and crying, I fell asleep on the way
home. All I wanted to do when we were back at our apartment was just go to
bed. I didn't want to talk to anyone. . .  I just wanted to go to bed I
just wanted to be alone.



Thanks for reading my story everyone I have edited my other chapters, so
they aren't horrible anymore.

Thanks again to my friend Paul for doing all of my editing and helping redo
my other chapters lots of love to you buddy.

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