Date: Sat, 23 Apr 2016 04:34:03 +0000 From: "Ed Hamner (via Google Docs)" <heyham88@gmail.com> Subject: Crashing into love - Chapter 4 [--Benji's Point of View--] I walked back into the house. "All this time worrying about him not saying yes, and one stupid slip while drunk and he's my boyfriend. God the things I would do for him. That dirty blond hair that just begs me to run my fingers through it. Those lips, I could kiss them forever. Why was I ever worried?" My mind starts to wander off as I make my way back to my room. *Ding* "Connor must have made it home. I wish he didn't leave. Damn, its Lexie." Lexie: Next time you assbags decide to have a grope fest - don't do it in front of me. Benji: I'll grope fest him all I want - or better yet, I'll let him grope fest me. ;) Lexie: Eww Benji: You've never been afraid to talk to Connor about doing things to dudes. Lexie: Its different - you two are like my brothers Benji: thanks for making us pervs Lexie: Anytime!! :* Benji: Bite me Lexie: I will have to leave that up to Con now. Benji: Apparently so :P "It's been over an hour, where is Connor? He should have made it home by now." The thought is now accented by a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach. "I hope he isn't having second thoughts about us." I know that Connor wouldn't be having second thoughts - would he? This is what I feared would happen. Why the hell did I say anything. Benji: Need to make a call Lexie: Fine make that booty call I pull up the phone dialer and press Connor's number. It rings. Rings Again... Rings Again... "Hey you got Connor. Leave it at the tone." Voicemail. "Hey Connor it's your best friend. I was hoping to get a message from you, but I must have to wait. Call me." Another half hour passes. It's not like Connor to not call me back. I hit his number again. Three rings then back to voicemail. "Hey you got Connor. Leave it at the tone." The feeling in my stomach is getting worse. "Hey Connor, me again. What is going on? Now I am really getting worried. Call me back please." Another 15 minutes pass. Now I am worried and my stomach is in knots. "Fuck it, I'm going over there." I jump in my car and head out toward Connor's house. This wasn't like him. Not at all. I am almost to his house and I come up to a scene with police cars and fire engines. I slow down and see a familiar sight, Connor's truck. It can't be. I pull off the road on the other side of the accident and run up to the scene, but was stopped by a blond female officer. "You can't go over there," she says while holding him back. "The guy in the pickup - is he ok?" I beg her to answer. "I need to know if he is ok. Please, he's my boy- best friend." She looks me in the eyes and must see the sheer terror forming in them as I start to picture the worst. She pulls me off to the side. "He is hurt pretty badly, EMS is going to take him to Twin Rivers hospital." I start to feel weak in the knees, but know I need to be strong for Connor. "Has anyone called his parents yet?" "No, but they will send someone to get them." "No, I'll do it." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. I find the number for the Evans' house. "Hello?" I hear the familiar voice of Connor's mom on the other end. "Cindy, it's Ben. Connor was in a bad car wreck. They are taking him to Twin Rivers. I'm right behind him," I manage to get out without breaking into tears, but the fear and panic resounding in my voice. "Alright love, we'll be there as soon as we can," she tells me, the sound of fear in her voice. As the ambulance pulls away from the scene, I get in my car and speed behind them. ---------- I couldn't stand waiting anymore, I just wish someone would just say something. I couldn't stand it, any more. I couldn't sit still, I just had to get up and keep moving, hopefully trying to work off this nervous energy. "Why won't they tell us anything?" I said making what felt like my fiftieth lap around the waiting room. Connor had been in surgery for nearly three hours and it was heart breaking knowing that there was nothing that I could do to help him. Less than five hours ago, I was kissing him and telling him how much I loved him. "I should have made him stay with me," I started to cry. Soon Connor's mom had me in half hug. "Love, none of this is your fault. Connor will be ok." "I truly hope so." At that moment, a grim looking doctor appears from behind the doors. "Evans?" We all get up and the doctor makes his way to us. "I am Dr. Foster, and I was the lead surgeon for your son. We managed to treat him to the best of our abilities, but I am afraid that there are some major issues we need to discuss." We all looked at each other in horror as we expected to hear the worst news possible. "Your son's left leg was shattered in the impact, as well as his left arm being broken. He also sustained a severe head trauma, which required us to put in some burr holes to help ease the pressure that was building. Unfortunately the next few hours will be critical, as he has yet to wake up from the injuries. We will monitor him closely and hope for the best." "Hope for the best?" I blurt out in disbelief, "Three hours in surgery and the best you can give us is hope for the best?" Connor's mom puts a hand on my shoulder to calm me down. I didn't want to calm down, I wanted Connor ready to stand up and walk out of here to go on our first date. "He is in recovery right now, once they transfer him to a room, you will be able to see him. Talk to him, maybe if he knows what he has to fight for, it will help." Once they got Connor into his room, we let his parents see him first. Lexie, who arrived right after Connor's folks, is trying to keep me company while I wait. The whole time, I am both crying and wanting to hit something. "Lexie, what happens if he doesn't wake up? What are we going to do?" Lexie just pulls me into a hug, "Benji, listen you know more than most that Connor has a reason to stay with us. He will be ok, I promise." After a little while Connor's parents emerged and let me visit him. As I walk past Connor's mom, she pulls me into a hug. "Be brave, love, be brave for our Connor." If she only knew how much Connor was mine now. I slowly made my way into the room to find my best friend, and now boyfriend, a mess. His left side of his body bandaged up, cast on his arm, and one of those halo like things over his leg. His amazing blue eyes were hidden behind closed eyelids and his amazing blond hair was all gone, hidden under layers of gauze bandages. I brushed my hand gently over the uninjured side of his face, hoping maybe he would somehow feel it and come back to me. "You can't stand me up on our first date. That is just mean," I whisper in his right ear, both chuckling and resisting the urge to break down and cry at the very thought that he wouldn't be here with me. "I mean you could have told me you didn't want to go out, I would have been fine." I just sit in the chair next to the bed and hold the hand of the most important person in the world to me. More than that, this boy with the dirty blond hair and the bright blue eyes is my entire world. ---------- Days went by too slowly. I had spent the better part of this whole time at his bed side. I was starting to learn the names of the various nurses who came in and out throughout the day to check on IVs and vital signs. I spend most of my time at his bedside, only leaving when his parents or Lexie were there with him. I tried to be in yelling distance no matter where I was. A couple of days in the hospital, Connor has a setback. I am sitting there with my head on the bed, pretending to sleep. The machines start to sound alarms and a team of nurses and doctors run in. The one nurse, Heather, puts a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye while walking me to the door. "Let's figure out what is going on with him and I promise I will find you." I had come to have a relationship with Heather, she was a younger nurse, but she had come to see the love I have for Connor. A few times, she brought me coffee and water, one night even putting a blanket over me as I slept next to Connor. I place my trust in Heather, I knew she would keep her word. I make my way to the lounge, fumbling for my phone. I need to call Connor's parents. "Hi Love," Connor's mom says, the sound of exhaustion evident in her usually cheerful voice. I hate to add anymore stress to the woman. "Something is going on with Connor. They are working on him right now." She mutters something about grabbing her coat and heading out. An hour later, Heather comes and finds me pacing in the lounge with Connor's parents sitting uncomfortably in seats. As she walks into the room, I make my way to her and stare her in the face as she takes a deep breath. The tension in the room dramatically drops as a slight smile forms on her face. "He is going to be ok, he had a minor blood clot from his leg. We got him stabilized and are treating him to make sure the blood clots don't come back." I feel like I am going to pass out but she puts her arm around me. I can't help but pull her into a hug. She just stands there and held me while I started to cry. "You really love him, don't you?" She says I look up at her. "He is the sun and the moon, my whole world," I couldn't help but being a hopeless mess. "He is lucky to have you to wake up to," she said with an assuring smile. "If anyone is the lucky one, it is me. I hope my luck hasn't run out." "Not if I have anything to say about it," She says, staring me right in the eye. --------- After a week, Connor is slowly showing signs of improvement, but not enough. They are able to take off the huge bandage covering his head and revealed to me the bald boy whose blond locks I had run my fingers through while in our first passionate make out session only a week ago. He had yet to open his blue eyes, but the nurses told me that the doctors were still guarded about the future. I decided that I needed to stretch my legs and I was lucky enough to find Connor's parents at the nurse's station speaking to a doctor. "Hey love," his mother said to me, pulling me into one of her amazing hugs. If anyone taught my Connor how to give a hug, it was definitely this woman. "How are you holding up?" "Best as can be expected, seeing my best friend lying there like that." I had yet to admit to his parents that I came out to him and we had our first kiss as a couple the night of the accident. "How about you guys?" "About the same," Connor's mom said, reaching back to his dad. "The doctors say they still don't know what's going on and it has everyone worried." She rubbed her hand against my cheek, staring into my exhausted eyes. "You look tired love, why don't you head home and get some rest. I promise I will call you if anything changes." "I guess you're right, let me go tell him I'll be back. I don't want him waking up and being worried that I am not there." "Sounds good love" Cindy says kissing me on the forehead. --------- I get home and see a note from my mom on the kitchen counter. `Bubba, Make sure you eat something. I'm here if you need me. Love, Momma' I don't know how my mother was able to put up with me this past week. I spent the first three days attached to the side of Connor's bed. First time I came home, I don't think I said more than two words to her before running to my room to shower and change, and was out of the house again just as fast. At the five day mark, she finally stood in my way during one of my whirlwinds and made me talk. She simply told me that I needed to keep taking care of myself or I would end up in the hospital next to Connor and not in a good way. My mom is a woman of great strength. I just hope I was lucky enough to inherit that from her. I run up to my room and take my clothes off and make my way to the shower. As I stand underneath the warm water, my mind drifts off to the last night I truly had been home. I remember the way it felt when I finally decided to say fuck it and kiss him, finally showing Connor how much I truly loved him. I remember the feeling of his lips against mine and the feeling of his hands on me. I still can't believe that was a week ago and just how bad I am missing him. It was bad enough before I told him. Hearing him talk about going on dates or just being upset and wanting to comfort him the way only a boyfriend could. I remember the feeling of my heart pulling every time I wanted to hold him. Now was so much different. My heart feels like it has been ripped out of my chest and the entire world is walking all over it. I feel so incomplete and so absolutely useless. I got out of the shower and put on a fresh change of clothes. I hurried because I wanted to be there for Connor as much as I can. It was the least I could do. *ding* New message from Lexie Lexie: Any word? Benji: No Change Lexie: How you holding up? Benji: As best as one can with his entire world lying in a coma Lexie: He will wake up and see your smiling face. Just wait. Lexie: He loves you too so he has a reason to be ok ---------- I made my way back to the hospital, passing Connor's parents as they decided to go home when they saw me. "He's all yours love," his mother said to me. She almost seems to know that Connor and I had gone beyond best friends. The dedication I have shown to being here doesnt hide that fact. She leaned into me, "you keep watch over our boy." I slid the door open to the room and made my way to the bed. I picked up Connor's hand in mine and intertwined our fingers. "Hey Connor, they say maybe you can hear us. You didn't text me back," I said trying to hold back the tears that were choking me up. "Your folks are really worried, and Lexie keeps texting me trying to find out what is going on with you. It's been nearly a week and no one can tell us anything." I gripped his hand tighter and rested my head on it. "Will you come back to me? I need you so much man. You are my best friend and now my boyfriend. This is not how I expected to spend my first week with you." Finally I couldn't hold back the tears any more. A week was more than enough without the love of my life. "I don't want to lose you. Just open your eyes and let me know you can hear me, let me know you will never leave me." I rubbed my hand against the unbandaged side of his face. His skin felt cold to my touch. I bent down and pressed my lips against his. I whispered in my love's ear, "I am in love with you and I want to spend my life with you." With that I made my way back to the other side of the room to where the chair was. "I... Love... You... Too," I heard coming from the bed. I ran back to his bedside and grabbed his hand, "Please say something again; please tell me I wasn't hearing things." I looked down and saw my love's lips move again, "I...Love...You" --------------------------------------- Hey all- Make sure you check me out online at crashinglovestory.tumblr.com Also feel free to find me on twitter @heyham88 I get a thrill getting fan mail - and I try to answer back. Email - Heyham88@gmail.com Don't forget - if you are enjoying nifty - donate to keep it running.