Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 19:26:08 +0000
From: Krys T <liljademoon@msn.com>
Subject: Dealing With It 6

Zane

It was three hours to the dance, and I waited with Ci for
the rest of our group to arrive.  It had been two weeks
since my encounter with Ci at her house, and since that time
the two of us had become close.  We had spent the next
morning curled up on the porch swing  talking again, and
during that time I learned some very interesting things
about the school and my new friends.

Her first shocking revelation was the school's policy on
sexuality and harassment.  For years I had heard the talk of
severe punishment for harassment, but I had never seen the
punishment enforced.  My previous school had just looked the
other way when someone was being harassed, or even beaten,
especially if said person was gay.  I lived in that forever,
and to hear Ci explain our school's response to such actions
was a definite shock to me.  The first time someone is
caught, or reported to be in violation, they are given a
fair warning; if the infraction is non-violent.  The second
time, if the claim to both times is verified, the person is
expelled.  Don't pass GO, do not collect 200 dollars, go
directly to jail.  They don't even get three chances.  If
the harassment is physical, the person is expelled
immediately and the police are contacted.  I didn't believe
her at first.  It seemed too good to be true, until she told
me about the cases that had already happened.  I was
definitely impressed.

Her second shocker was even bigger than the first.  She
listed  the names of some of the people who were out at
school.  She stressed the fact that not everyone was out and
that she was leaving off some people who were out.  Ci named
a couple of people I would have already guessed if I had
thought about it.  Then she named two that were
unbelievable: Rick and Jeff.  I remember staring at her in
disbelief when she told me that not only were the two of
them gay, but they were a couple and had been for around two
years.  The idea of them being out at school and still being
popular finally relaxed me enough that I could tell Ci my
own story.  She said nothing when I told her about my
family, which was very different from hers.  My mother had
walked out years ago, leaving me, my father, and my younger
sister alone.  My father reacted pretty well when I told him
I was gay.  He wasn't thrilled, but he didn't kick me out or
beat me up either.  Lisa, my sister, had been supportive and
helped me deal with all that she could.  I had been pretty
happy where I lived; even if I was so far in the closet you
needed a map to find me, until my dad got a promotion.  That
was how I ended up here.

Over the next two weeks I started watching the student body,
noting those she had mentioned as some others who I'd
wondered about.  I also watched Jeff and Rick.  The first
thing I noticed was that they always sat together, almost
touching.  No matter where we were, they were always next to
each other, shoulders and thighs close together,
occasionally their knees would be touching.  It was
something I never noticed it before because I never looked.
Another thing about the two of them was that they would
always look at each other before answering a question, not
to ask permission, but to acknowledged that whoever was
about to speak was speaking for the both of them.  They may
have been a couple, but they weren't obvious about it.  It
was between them, not the rest of the world.

Some other things came up in my discussion with Ci, the
first being her name.  She informed me that since I had
slept with her I could no longer use her full name unless
she was in trouble.  Therefore she was to be called from
then on "Ci."  How she said all that with a straight face is
beyond me, but I agreed.  Her next order of business was one
I wish she hadn't decided to tackle.  It was, of course,
Caelum.  After ten minutes of her badgering me, I admitted
that I was jonesing for Caelum.  She laughed and told me
that both she and Anthony were aware of it, but she had
wanted me to say it.  I begged her not to tell anyone,
especially Caelum, and still laughing, she agreed.

That was two weeks ago.  The costume that I wore now scared
me to no end.  It was a Roman toga, barely.  Meaning there
was barely enough material there to cover me.  Ci assured me
it was decent, but looking at her costume, I wasn't
convinced.  She had taken our Amazon warrior idea and
abducted it for herself.  I had to admit that she looked
striking in the gold and green two piece costume.  But like
me, a lot of flesh was showing.
"Are you sure this is appropriate for a dance at a youth
center?" I asked for the tenth time, gesturing to my barely
there toga.

"I've seen some of the costumes the kids are wearing.
Compared to them, we're overdressed," she replied, adjusting
her top so that it showed more cleavage.  Anything else she
would have said was cut off as Caelum came down the stairs,
his costume revealing even more of his mocha skin than mine.

"I hate you," he snarled at Ci.  In relation to my Roman
toga, she had dressed Caelum up as none other than a
gladiator.  The costume was composed of four simple things,
well five if you count the sword.  There was a pair of
leather boots that stopped just short of his knees, above
which was a kilt-like article that barely reached mid-
thigh.  He had a harness-like contraption that covered his
chest and a helm on his head.  Now, Russell Crowe was
delicious in that movie, but the vision of Caelum standing
in front of me put that to shame.  I was glad that my
costume was loose enough that my erection didn't make itself
noticeable.  I was also glad that, in his anger, Caelum
hadn't noticed that we were almost a set.  Ci had obviously
set that up.    She didn't say a word, only smiled and
straightened his helm before turning and winking at me.
Before Caelum could say anything else, Anthony, Jeff, Rick
and Rich stumbled through the door muttering under their
breath about strangling Ciana.

Like ours, their costumes were interesting.  Ci had dressed
Rick and Jeff as a pair, just as she had to Caelum and me.
Rick she had dressed as Hercules.  Jeff, well I had helped
pick Jeff's costume in retaliation for a prank he had pulled
on my before practice a while back, and he was dressed as
Xena.  Separate, they both looked funny, but standing side
by side, their costumes looked right.  I had to admit that
Ci knew what she was doing.  Anthony was dressed as Judge
Judy, complete with red wig, black robes and gavel.  And
Rich she had dressed as Britnay Spears in the Slave For You
video.

"Let's go, boys," Ci trumpeted once everything was to her
liking, and we headed out to Rich's van and the dance.


Caelum

I really hated my sister.  I truly did.  I don't know what
was going through that strange little mind of hers, but this
costume was over the top.  If I hadn't been in such a bad
mood, I might have taken it all in stride, but the past
couple of weeks had abraded my patience and sense of humour
down to nothing.  It started when I woke the Sunday morning
after Zane had spent the night to find the two of them still
asleep with their arms wrapped around each other.  I wanted
to cry as I sat on the edge of my bed, watching them.  I
wanted to scream, rant, break something; I wanted to do
anything to relieve the pain inside me, but I didn't.
Instead, I got myself some breakfast and sat in front of the
TV, losing myself in the mindlessness of television.  I
barely acknowledged them when they got up, and I said
nothing to Ci when she told me they would be upstairs.  I
know I hurt her, but some petty part of me wanted her to
hurt like I did.

When the day of the dance rolled around, I found myself in
that ridiculous Roman gladiator costume.  I expressed my
opinion in three words, but Ci only smiled that smile I've
come to dread.  It wasn't her mischievous smile or her happy
smile, it was the smile that said she was pissed, and when
the current situation was over, you'd be hearing all about
it.  It wasn't the first clue I'd had that she was angry
with me, but it was the most direct.  Before I could say
anything else, the guys came in wearing their costumes.
Rick and Jeff were a matching pair and surprisingly, Rich
looked good as Britney.  Anthony wore the look that was
definitely something you'd see on Judge Judy; absolute
disgust.  That didn't matter to my sister, she was in
charge, and we had to wear what she picked out for us.

The ride to the center was quiet, everyone lost in their own
thoughts.  As we rode in silence, I realized for the first
time what Zane was wearing.  A white toga, clasped on one
shoulder, draped his body, leaving the right side of his
chest bare.  The air in the van was cool, and I could see
the affect it was having on his body as his nipple
hardened.  Two laurel leaves were in his red-brown hair, and
sandals were on his feet.  He looked gorgeous, and I felt
myself rise in response.  I turned away, reminding myself
that he was Ci's and I couldn't have him.  That, of course,
just made my mood worse.

When we reached the center, we all went our separate ways to
make sure that the areas we were in charge of were running
smoothly.  After an hour, the kids began to arrive, and we
took on our chaperone duties; mingling through the crowd,
checking for drugs, booze, and signs of violence.  I
confiscated a few things from the kids and handed them into
Pastor Jason before returning to the dance floor.  Rich was
up on the stage playing an assortment of music, the backdrop
providing a nice scene for him.  Jeff stood behind the food
table keeping an eye on things there, and Ci, Zane, and Rick
moved through the crowd like me.  After a few hours the
younger kids left due to a curfew that Pastor Jason had in
set.

"Wanna dance?" asked a familiar voice.  I turned to see Ci
standing there, the lights reflecting off the gold on her
costume.

"Not right now," I replied shortly.  "Why don't you dance
with your boyfriend?"

She stared at me hard before answering.  "I don't know what
you're talking about and I have a feeling that you don't
either."

"I'm talking about Zane," I told her.  "It's obvious that
you're a couple.  He's over all the time.  The two of you
are all over each other all the time too.  Kinda disgusting
really. But it's easy to see he's crushing on you."

"It's not me he's crushing on! It's-" she stopped.  "You
know what?  Even if I could tell you that, I wouldn't.
You're being a complete asshole.  And I don't associate with
assholes."  I watched her walk away from me, gesturing madly
with her hands.  She ignored and avoided me for the rest of
the night, not even looking my way when Anthony approached
her to ask what was wrong.  I could tell by the look he shot
my way that she was telling him what had happened.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" he snapped when he came
my way.

"I didn't do anything," I protested weakly.  I was in the
wrong and I knew it.  No matter how angry I was, there was
no reason to talk to Ci like that.  She was my other half.
Everyone always joked that she was my better half, and at
that moment I wondered if they were right.

"She asked me if you could crash at my place tonight.  Her
and Zane are gonna head home soon, and she doesn't want to
deal with you."  I stared at my best friend in shock. Ci
actually wanted us to spend the night apart?  Tears welled
up in my eyes as I realized the magnitude of what I had
done.  Wiping them away, I came up with a better idea.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. How `bout you spend
the night at our house instead?" I replied.

"I'll check with Ci, she might agree to that, as long as
there's a referee that can handle you both there."  He
walked back to where Ci and Zane were slow-dancing to the
music, their heads bent together.  After a few minutes he
came back.  "All right.  She says that should work.  Made a
comment that between me and Zane, we could keep her from
killing you."

When the dance ended, we all piled back into Rich's van
after Pastor Jason had assured us that someone would clean
up the mess in the morning.  Rick and Jeff were dropped off
first, and then Rich dropped the rest of us off.  An uneasy
feeling came over me as we climbed the front stairs.  Mom's
car wasn't there, and the door was locked, so I knew we were
home alone before we even entered the house.

We all grabbed something to drink before heading downstairs
to change.  Anthony and I changed in the bedroom, Zane had
the living room, and Ci took the bathroom.  We all came out
looking like our normal selves, and Ci and Anthony headed
upstairs to grab something to munch on, leaving me alone
with Zane.  He had curled up across from me, his feet tucked
underneath him.  I groaned softly as I realized he was
wearing my shirt and shorts again.
"Ci told me what happened." he said softly, looking at the
floor in front of him.  "I'm sorry that I came between you
two.  I didn't mean to."

"You didn't," I told him brusquely, not wanting to hear him.

"She said that you think we're dating and that you were
jealous.  I thought I should tell you, I'm not trying to
take her away from you.  Ci loves you."  I stared at him.
He thought I was jealous of his time with Ci, not Ci's time
with him.  "She said that, other than Anthony, neither of
you have ever had a really close friend.  That it's always
been just the two of you, and you've always told each other
everything.  I think I knew that, but she never really came
out and said it."  I looked up to find him staring at me,
his eye burning through me.  "Ci kept her promise to me,
even though by breaking it she could have made things better
with you.  I wonder if you know how great a sister you
have?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, staring back into
those deep green eyes.  "What promise?"


Zane

Caelum's silver eyes flashed with barely suppressed anger as
he stared at me.  I wanted to tell him exactly what I felt
for him, tell him how I thought about him almost all the
time.  I actually started to open my mouth when I heard the
stairs creak, signalling Ci and Anthony's return.

They came back bearing chips, popcorn, and more drinks.
Anthony threw himself down beside Caelum, handing him a bowl
of popcorn.  Ci sat with me, turning so that she was leaning
against me, facing away from her twin.  I could feel the
tension in her body as she turned the TV on and started
flicking through the channels.  The strain between sister
and brother was starting to get to me, but when I opened my
mouth to yell at both of them Anthony shook his head,
silently telling me to keep quiet.  I shut my mouth and
turned back to the screen.  Not Another Teen Movie was
playing, and we watched it, laughing at the stupidity.  But
the laughter was forced, and I don't think any of us enjoyed
the movie that much.  There was too much unsaid, too much
seething under the surface.

When the movie finally finished it was around 2 a.m., and
the problem of sleeping arrangements came up.

"I am not sleeping out here again," Anthony stated firmly
from his sprawl on the other couch.  "It is way too freaky
at night."  I laughed. That was why I had slept in Ci's bed
the last time I was here.
"And," he continued, "I am not sleeping in the same bed as
Cae."

"Why not?" Cae asked irritably.

"You hog the covers," Anthony laughed. "Besides, Ci's bed
smells better."  We all laughed, but again it was forced and
brittle.

"Fine," Ci said a small, mean smile on her lips. "You can
bunk with me. Zane can sleep in Cae's bed."

"And where am I suppose to sleep?" asked Cae, the faded
anger back in his voice and at full force.

Her smile got a little meaner.  "I don't care, but Zane has
first dibs on your bed.  Consider it the first consequence
for being an ass."  She didn't wait for him to reply but
stood and walked regally into the bedroom. Anthony followed
her, laughing softly.

Cae and I were left alone again, facing off across the
room.  I could see the confusion and pain etched on his
face.  I wanted to go to him and comfort him, to wrap my
arms around him and tell him that Ci would forgive him.
Eventually.  But I couldn't.  I knew it would back fire.  So
I stayed where I was, staring at his bent head.
"I'll sleep on the couch," I heard myself say.  His head
snapped up and he looked at me in shock, as if he forgot I
was sitting there.  "I don't mind."

Cae didn't say anything, just stared at me.  Then, "Last
time, why didn't you want to sleep out here?"

I felt the blush run up my neck and flood my face and I
cursed the paleness of my skin.  "Um, cuz," I couldn't say
it, didn't want to say it.  "I'm afraid of the dark," I
finally blurted, turning my burning face away.  There was
silence for a moment and then a small sound, a giggle.
Followed by another, and another, until Cae was laughing so
hard he couldn't breathe.  When the absurdity of the
situation hit me, I began to laugh as well.

"We can share the bed," Cae said as soon as he finished
laughing.  "It's big enough, and you shouldn't have to sleep
out here by yourself."  He stood and pointed to the
bedroom.  "Go, I'll turn everything off out here."
I stood up as soon as he turned away, hoping that there was
some way to turn me off.  Spending the night in the same bed
as Cae was gonna be torture.  And I wasn't into pain.  In
the bedroom, Ci and Anthony were already under the covers,
whispering.  I ignored them and climbed into Cae's bed.  Ci
stopped whatever she was saying as Cae came into the room
and climbed in behind me.  She nudged Anthony, whose back
was to us, and he turned over, his face a portrait of
shock.  Laughing softly, Cae reached over me to flick off
the light, plunging the room into darkness.

"Night Zane," he whispered softly.

"Night," I whispered back.  There was silence as the events
of the night began to take toll.  Soon, there was the sound
of deep breathing beside me as Cae sank into sleep.  I lay
there on his bed, trying to will myself to sleep, trying to
ignore his warm body next to me.  Finally, unable to keep my
eyes open any longer, I gave into sleep as well, curiously
content to be where I was.