Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2010 06:09:10 -0800 (PST)
From: Lusty <lustyville@yahoo.com>
Subject: Dear Elliot

	Every part of me wanted to reach out and touch him. We were sitting
about two feet away from each other and he was doing that thing he did
where he cut his eyes in my direction and quickly looked away. I didn't
think it was fair that I had to be that close to him. My mother wondered
why my math grade was so low over the first month of school. I couldn't
tell her that Elliot distracted me almost every day. He wasn't doing it on
purpose. It wasn't his fault that my attention was focused solely on him
and thoughts of him. He couldn't help it that he was too cute for words.
Elliott was short for a senior in high school but that was part of the
reason why I loved him. He was five foot two and I was six foot three. To
most people, we didn't look right together. Those people didn't know how
well we fit.

	I had noticed Elliot for a couple of years but we were in
completely different circles and there wasn't a reason for us to interact
outside of the usual look of recognition. Algebra II was the first time we
sat next to each other in any class. I joked with him a lot and in October
I suggested we get together and study for an upcoming test. He suggested
his house because his parents were rarely home and we would be able to
listen to music as loud as we wanted to when we took a break from studying.

	I'll admit that I was nervous about being alone with him. I didn't
want to slip up and say the wrong thing to him. I was content with looking
at him and jacking off at night to memories of his scent and the way he
looked that day or the words he said to me.

	My relationship with Elliot changed on a surprisingly windy
Thursday. We had a chapter test the next day so we were planning on
cramming as much information as we could in to our study session. I rang
the doorbell and Elliot answered the door. He had changed clothes since
school. Elliot was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark green t-shirt. His
hazel eyes locked with mine and it took a second before I could say hello
to him. He stepped to the side and I walked in his house. He closed the
door and I stood there like an idiot and stared at him. He looked up at
me. His pink lips were plump and sexy. The image excited me so I had to
grab myself and readjust. Elliot's eyes were carefully watching me. I let
my hand spend an extra second making the adjustment. His eyes suddenly
looked up at me. He had to know that I caught him watching me.

	He led me to the living room. He had his math book and a notebook
on the table. We sat down on the sofa and I put my books next to his on the
coffee table. I was about to open my math book when Elliot asked, "Why
don't you play basketball?"

	Normally I was offended when people assumed that because I was tall
and black, I had to play basketball. It was annoying but I wasn't annoyed
when he asked me. Given my height and my build I could see how he would
wonder why I wasn't playing basketball. "I'm not an athlete."

	He smiled and said, "I love basketball. I used to play all the time
with my friends but my father wouldn't let me try out for the basketball
team. My height would probably stop me from being a starter but my skills
would make sure I was on the team. I could have been a three point
specialist. I'm fast and I'm small. I can get open whenever I want to. High
school was the only time I would be able to play for a team. I'm not going
to make the cut when I go to college."
	"I thought you said you had skills?"

	"I have skills and no height and I'm going to be up against guys
who have skills and height. I'm going to Duke. They recruit some of the top
players in the country."

	The answer seemed obvious to me. "If you want to play ball then go
to a school where you have a chance of making the team."

	"I can't. My parents went to Duke so it's kind of expected that I
go there too."

	"So you applied and got in already?"

	"No. I'm going to apply next month. I know I'll get in. Not only
are my parents alumni, but my dad is a legacy and my grandfather is good
friends with the guy who looks at the applications from this region. I'm
in. I could probably get a friend in if I wanted to." He sighed. "It's
never been a question of if I'm going to Duke. It was clear from the time I
was born that Duke is the only place I'm allowed to go."

	"I haven't thought about schools yet."

	"Well let me know if you want to go to Duke." There was an awkward
moment where we both sort of paused and looked at each other. Elliot was
first to look away, but he looked back so fast that I wondered why he even
bothered looking away.

	I cleared my throat. "So, um, should we start studying now?"

	He looked confused for a split second then he said, "Yeah. Let's do
that."

	While he was quizzing me on vocabulary and the steps needed to
solve certain problems, I was studying him. I loved the way he moved his
arms when he spoke and the way he smiled at me when I got an answer
right. His shirt fit him well but I was imagining it being even tighter. I
hated being that close to him because I kept forgetting to breath. It was
awful. I'd suddenly take a loud deep breath and he would pause and look at
me. I was fighting the urge to reach for him and make some kind of physical
contact. I wanted to put my hand on his thigh and make it obvious but I was
too much of a punk to take a risk like that. I let my knee tap his and I
jerked my leg away and said, "Sorry."

	"It's cool."

	He leaned forward and I wanted to slide my hand down his back then
pull that shirt off of him. I realized it was a mistake for me to go to his
house and be alone with him and sit that close to him. I coughed and asked,
"Could I have a glass of water or something?"

	He playfully smacked himself on the head. "Of course you can. My
mother would be so disappointed in me. I have yet to master the nuances of
proper etiquette."

	"Does she say that to you?"

	"All the time." He stood. "I may look nice and neat and proper but
there's a poorly trained boy inside me."

	"You don't look proper."

	He turned and looked at me. "I don't? Are you sure because when I
say proper, I mean preppy. Everyone thinks I look preppy."

	"Not everyone. I don't."

	"Why not? I'm well groomed and I dress like a fucking GQ model."

	"The clothes you wear at school never seem to fit you
right. They're too stuffy. The outfit you're wearing now is closer to the
way I always thought you should dress." My eyes gave him a quick once
over. "Your outfit suits you. Well the shirt could be a little tighter,
but" my mind hit the panic button and I tried to think of a good insult or
joke. We only spoke in math class. He and I never hung around each
other. He had to wonder why I spent time thinking about the clothes that I
thought he should wear. It was okay for me to think about him. I mean we
saw each other everyday during the week, but I shouldn't have admitted it
and I definitely shouldn't have commented on the tightness of his
shirt. There was something about the way I said it that made sure I had all
but confessed to thinking about him in that way.

	"If this shirt was any tighter, my nipples would be showing." He
walked around the coffee table and added, "My mother hates this shirt. She
says I've outgrown it." I had never met his mother, but I already hated
her. Any person who could look at him in that shirt and not think he was
the cutest little thing had to have serious issues. "Are you sure you want
water?"

	"What else do you have?"

	"There are too many options for me to list them." He gestured and
said, "Follow me."

	I stood and the disparity in our heights was so obvious. I towered
over him. I felt like a giant but I liked the feeling. He was so cute, just
like a little toy that I could pick up and play with. I lusted after him
all the way to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and a pantry. All I
could say was "Woah."

	He giggled. "Yeah, I know. My parents always stock up before they
leave. I should be fat by now but my body is still good at burning
calories. My father keeps telling me I need to start going to the gym. He
thinks the weight will catch up with me when I get in my late twenties." He
leaned back against the counter and I wanted to walk over to him and stand
in front of him. I wouldn't have kissed him right away. I would have
hovered over him and stared in his eyes for at least a full minute then I
would have moved in for the kill and shook his body with a kiss so
passionate that it left both of us gasping for air. "So what do you want to
drink?"
	That was the moment I realized that I had been staring at him
again. It was horrible to want him as badly as I did. I laughed and said,
"I should probably be looking in the pantry." He nodded, but he didn't say
anything. I looked in the pantry and saw two drinks that I wanted to try
then I looked in the refrigerator and saw a drink called Snapple Apple. I
took it out and showed it to him. "People keep telling me this drink tastes
just like an apple. Is that true?"

	"Well if that's what people are saying." He smiled. "Yeah, it's
true. I like it. My mother buys it more for her than for me though. She
loves that drink."

	"Should I put it back?"

	"No, drink it. She has more in the refrigerator in the basement." I
opened the bottle and I heard him say, "You have really big hands."

	In my mind, I traced my lip with my index finger then used the tip
of my finger to rub the tip of my tongue before sticking my finger all the
way in my mouth and slowly pulling it back out. In reality, I smiled and
said, "I'm six three, I better have big hands."

	"My hands are probably half the size of yours."

	I held up my hand and he stepped closer to me and pressed his hand
against mine. He suddenly pulled away. I was thankful for that because I
would have clasped our hands together if he had left his hand there for one
more second. Skin to skin contact with him was like an adrenaline rush. He
blushed and stepped away. "Let's get back to studying. It's your turn to
drill me."

	"What did you say?"

	"I said it's your turn to grill me. I've been asking you all the
questions but I don't know everything. I need you to take me over the last
chapter."

	"Okay, I'll take you over," I paused to make sure I didn't slip and
say anything dirty, "it."

	We sat on the sofa and he said, "I'm glad you didn't reach for the
beer."

	"I don't drink."

	"I do, but only when I'm lonely."

	"You're underage."

	"I know."

	"Your parents let you drink?"
	"Who do you think started me? They want me to have refined taste so
we have a glass of wine with most dinners and my father only drinks the
best beer." He sounded like he was mocking his father. "They count the
drinks before they leave. I'm only allowed one bottle of wine a week and
one beer a day."

	"That's smart," I said.

	He laughed, "It would be if I didn't have a fake id."

	"You have a fake id and people actually look at you and believe
it?"

	"Hey I may look all of thirteen but as long as my id says I'm 25,
there is nothing they can do about it."

	"May I see it?"

	He reached in his pocket and pulled out a wallet. I wondered how he
was able to squeeze that wallet in to that tight pocket. He opened his
wallet and took out a license. He handed it to me. I looked at it and it
was good.

	"Do you want one?" he asked.

	"No thank you."

	"Why not?"

	"It's illegal."

	He laughed. When my friends laughed at me for being straight-laced
I would get annoyed but his laugh sounded so sweet. "So you really are as
good as everyone says you are." He took his id out of my hand and put it
back in his wallet. "I hear you don't smoke either."

	"I don't. Do you?"

	"No." I did a silent cheer in my head. I hated the idea of kissing
a smoker. I would have done it for him but I wouldn't have liked it. "I'm
not trying to insult you so don't take it that way, but why are you such a
goody-goody?"

	"My parents. They make sure I stay on the right path and I'm afraid
my father would beat me to death if I messed up."

	"He beats you?"

	"No, not like that. I used to get spankings all the time but I
learned how to stay in line. I just think he would lose it if I
disappointed him too badly. I've seen his temper and it's not a pretty
sight."
	"You're afraid of him?"

	"No, well, hmm, I guess I am, but it's a good kind of fear. It's
the kind of fear that makes me respect him and not the kind of fear that
makes me wish I was strong enough to hurt him."

	"I'm afraid of my father." Our eyes locked and I wanted to put my
arms around him and hold him but I grabbed the math book instead.

	"We should probably get started again."

	"Okay, but one more question."

	"Okay."

	"What's wrong with you?"

	"Huh?"

	"Nobody's perfect. There has to be something wrong with you. You've
got the height, the looks, the body, the family, the friends, the
personality, the clothes, I mean I could keep going. What don't you have?"

	"A boyfriend." The look on his face was priceless. "I'm kidding. I
just wanted to see the look on your face."

	"I know you're joking. You've dated some of the hottest girls at
school. There's no way you could be gay like me."

	"You're gay?"

	He gave me a look that made me feel slow. "Uh, yeah. Everyone at
school knows."

	"They do?"

	"Yeah." He pulled his head back, "You didn't know?"

	"No."

	"I came out freshman year. I thought everyone knew."

	My friends and I didn't know. No offense to Elliot, but my friends
and I only talked about people worth talking about. I thought Elliot was in
that category but my friends disagreed. I mentioned him one time and it
took me five minutes just to get them to figure out which short kid I was
talking about. I didn't understand how anyone could miss him.

	"Do your parents know?"
	"Of course not. My father would kill me and I mean literally kill
me. He'd probably choke me to death so he could feel my body go lifeless in
his hands."

	"Why would you tell people at school if you didn't want your
parents to find out?"

	"I didn't exactly tell people. My boyfriend's older brother caught
us together and told everyone. My parents heard rumors and my father
confronted me but I told him it was a vicious rumor people had started
because I dressed so well. He brushed it off whenever he heard rumors after
that. Half the rumors he heard were probably true. I was a whore my
freshman and sophomore years. If a guy looked at me long enough, I'd drop
to my knees. Hell, to be honest, I let most of them bend me over. I made
sure they used a condom but it was still stupid. I wanted to feel close to
people and that intimate contact fulfilled my needs for a while."

	It hurt me to hear him say those things. "I thought you said you
had a boyfriend."

	"He was a whore like me."

	"Oh."

	"I really thought you knew."

	"Why?"

	"Sometimes you look at me like you know exactly what I've done but
you don't want to judge me." I almost interrupted him and confessed those
were probably the times when I was staring at him and thinking dirty
thoughts, which was almost every time I looked at him. He laughed. "To be
honest, I didn't think you really wanted to study."

	"What did you think I wanted to do?"

	"Get your rocks off. Straight guys at school hit on me all the time
when they want oral, but I stopped doing that kind of shit with the
masses. My gifts shouldn't be shared with everyone. My sex crazed
experimental phase ended at prom almost two years ago."

	"Then why did you agree to study together and invite me over to
your empty house?"

	"Because I was willing to share my gifts with you."

	I started feeling uncomfortable. I wondered if each time he had
accidentally brushed against me had actually been on purpose. I knew I
should change the subject but his sex life intrigued me. "Why did it end at
prom? Weren't you a sophomore then? Sophomores can't go to prom unless they
have an upperclassman as a date and I definitely would have heard if two
guys went to prom together. I might have missed the whole gay thing, but
prom? Nope. I wouldn't have missed that."

	"You didn't miss it. I went with a girl. She was friends with Logan
Phillips."
	"You and Logan?"

	"He put his head down. That's what I thought too, but when Logan
asked me to go with Allison so we could hang out that night, I had to say
yes. I mean it was Logan Phillips–the Logan Phillips and he wanted to
hang out with me. No guy or girl at school had ever said no to Logan."
Elliot was exaggerating but I didn't want to interrupt his story so I
didn't call him on it. "Anyway, I had all these fantasies that we would be
boyfriends until he left for college. I probably should have known
better. We went to an after party and everyone was drinking." I closed my
eyes and prayed that he wouldn't say Logan raped him. I knew Logan. I
respected him. He was friends with my older brother.

	"So what happened?"

	"The limo came and most of the girls left. A few stayed, but they
quickly paired off with some of the guys. More people started leaving after
that. An hour later it was just me, Logan and about six other guys from the
basketball team. Logan was sitting next to me and I remember he put his arm
around me and whispered, `Now it's time for the real show to begin.' I
didn't know what he meant until he kissed my neck. I didn't push him away
because it was Logan. He reached for my junk and I was instantly hard."

	I had to stop him. "He raped you?"

	"No, let me finish."

	"Okay."

	"Logan whispered, `One of my friends told me about that ass of
yours. I had to try it once before I left for college.' At that point, I
was still excited. Then he said, `I already fucked Tina tonight, so I
should be able to last for a while.' That should have been my clue that he
didn't really like me the way I liked him, but I was young and dumb. He
told me to go down on him and I suggested we go somewhere private but he
didn't want to so I did it, right there in front of the other guys. I
figured they all knew I was gay so it didn't matter. I mean four out of the
six guys who were left had at least had a blow job from me and one of the
guys had actually fucked me. I have a weakness for tall basketball types."
I swear he winked at me when he said it. "So I had Logan nice and ready but
I kept sucking him because I didn't really want to have sex with him in
front of all of his friends. I heard him say, `Get him ready for me.' and I
felt hands reach for my pants and pull them down. Soon my underwear was off
and someone was licking my ass. I wanted to know who it was but I didn't
turn around. They did their thing while I did mine then the person said,
`He's ready.' I recognized the voice, even as a whisper. I turned around
and it was my ex-boyfriend. He smiled and said, `Hey whore, funny seeing
you here. On your knees as usual, I see.' Logan told him to knock it off. I
was surprised that he and Logan knew each other. I later found out that
they were cousins and the whole thing had been my ex's idea."

	His eyes were filled with water so I knew it was hard for him to
talk about it. "Why are you telling me this?"

	He looked at me and said, "I don't know." We both sat there for a
moment then he continued. "So Logan stood up and put on a condom and added
more lube. He told me turn around and he got on his knees behind me on the
floor and it was then that I realize the table had been moved and we had
lots of space. Logan pushed me forward and entered me like I was nothing
but a whore. I guess I was, but I had always imagined that he would be
loving when we did it. One of the other guys in the room stood in front of
me and put his dick at my lips. I shook my head at first, but Logan smacked
me on my ass and told me to open my mouth for his friend. I sucked them and
let them each do whatever they wanted to me because I thought that was what
Logan wanted. When it was all said and done, my ex handed Logan a hundred
dollars and said, `I didn't think you'd actually do it.' Logan laughed and
handed the money back. `I should be paying you for recommending such a good
little whore.' Logan patted me on my head and he and the other guys
laughed. It was strange because even after letting those guys do whatever
they wanted to me, I didn't feel like a whore until Logan said I was. He
was right. I mean I hated my ex because he told my father we were gay and
having sex on a regular basis and I had even had sex with him that night
because I thought it was what Logan wanted me to do. It was so stupid. I
felt lower than dirt. I mean I completely hated myself. I saw all of those
guys around town after that night and all of them pretended not to know
me. I didn't want to know me either."

	I reached for his hand. "It was just sex."

	"I used to think that, but it's never just sex. I mean I dismissed
my promiscuity as normal experimentation and teenage hormones. I was always
ready and willing to go so it was okay that I was having sex with so many
people. When my father confronted me about Calvin, I told him Calvin was
full of shit and we had never done anything. My father showed me the
pictures Calvin had sent him and I somehow managed to convince my father
that Calvin had doctored the pictures. I'm not sure if my father believed
me but I think he needed to believe me because he couldn't bear the thought
of me being that way."

	"Logan and his friends were drunken assholes."

	"Your brother was one of those assholes," he said.

	"Quincy?" He nodded. "But he's not gay."

	"None of them were. They did me because I was there and most of
them were still horny and Logan said it was okay."

	"Was he one of the ones who had been with you before?"

	"No. That night was the first and only time he touched me."

	I realized I hadn't taken a sip of my drink. I sat the bottle on
the table and looked at him. He wasn't the innocent kid I had imagined he
would be. He squeezed my hand. I squeezed his back and asked, "So was my
brother any good?"

	He laughed. "Yeah. He was better than Logan."
	"My brother and Logan were best friends before prom but they were
just friends after that. I thought college was the reason why they drifted
apart, but it was probably that night. Quincy isn't that kind of guy. I'm
not blaming the alcohol or excusing what he did, I mean guys in groups can
do some pretty fucked up things."

	"People in groups can do some pretty fucked up things."

	He was right to correct me. It wasn't just guys who did stupid
things when they got in groups. "I've never understood peer pressure. How
can you let other people force you to change who you are and become someone
you normally wouldn't like? I mean all of my friends drink and smoke but I
don't do that shit. It isn't because I haven't had the opportunity or
because they haven't pressured me; it's because that just isn't me. I'm not
going to compromise who I am just so I can fit in with other people. If you
like me then that's cool and if you don't then that's cool too. I've never
felt the need to fit in with other people. Probably because the only people
I've ever worried about pleasing are my parents and they have almost the
same values that I do."

	"Almost?"

	"My parents have a few traditional values that I don't agree with."

	"Like what?"

	"Like my father gets the last word. He makes the final decision on
nearly everything in my house and I hate the way my mother gives in to
him. I wish she would fight for herself more. I mean she does when she's
really passionate about something but other than that, she'll defer to
him. She's more intelligent and opinionated than he knows. I don't
understand why she hides it from him. She's amazing. She always helps me
with my homework and she'll debate me on almost anything."

	"I wish my mother would give in to my father a little more. I get
so tired of hearing them argue." We were still holding hands. "You know I
never told anyone about what happened that night."

	"Why did you tell me?"

	"I still don't know. It just felt like the right time to get that
off my chest. I'll understand if you don't speak to me tomorrow."

	"You're a sexual being. I'm not going to stop talking to you
because of that."

	"But you don't approve, do you?"

	"I try not to judge. Judge not lest ye be judged."

	"Oh no, please don't tell me you're obsessed with God."

	"No. We go to church sometimes but I'm not a fanatic. I do like
some of the messages though. I can't judge you based on what you've done in
your past. I can only judge you based on who you are now and I like the
person that you are now. You make me laugh almost every day in
Algebra. It's the only class I look forward to going to."

	"Because of me?"

	I could have denied it, but he had been so open with me that I felt
as if I owed it to him to be honest, "Yeah."

	He let go of my hand and turned on the sofa so that he was looking
directly at me. I looked at his eyes and met his intense gaze. He was
searching for something, probably answers of some kind and I was praying
that he would find them. He started moving closer to me and I stayed still
until his face was inches away from mine. I looked at his lips then back at
his eyes. In an instant, he straddled me and kissed me. It took me a second
to react. I kissed him back and pulled him closer to me. My hands finally
had the chance to glide down his back and pull his shirt over his head. He
was so small but that was what I liked about him.

	He rocked back and forth in my lap. I wasn't a virgin, but he made
me feel like one. I was the hardest I could ever remember being. I loved
the way his tongue felt as it snaked around my mouth. He pulled his lips
away and whispered, "Don't be nervous," then his hand started reaching
between us. I pushed him off of me. He immediately said, "I'm sorry."

	"For what? I've been dreaming about that since the first time I saw
you. You're a really good kisser."

	"Then why did you push me away?"

	"I've never had sex with someone I wasn't dating."

	"You've had sex before?"

	"Yes."

	"But you're a goody-goody."

	"I'm also a guy. I've had sex before."

	"When did you lose your virginity?"

	"Fourteen."

	"To a guy?"

	I laughed. "To a girl."

	"Isabelle Lewis."

	"Yeah, how'd you know?"

	"You dated her all of freshman year. I know you wouldn't cheat on
someone you were with so it had to be her."

	"How do you know I dated her? I didn't know you existed until I saw
you walking with Shelly Ferguson during our sophomore year. Your hair was
longer back then and you shook your head like they do in those sexy shots
on tv and you tucked your hair behind your ear. I watched you walk down the
hallway. You were so cute. I was dating Kimesha at the time and she got
jealous because she thought I was checking out Shelly. Kimesha dropped my
hand and hit me on the arm. She dumped me a few weeks later."

	"I noticed you the first day of high school. You were staring at
your schedule and you bumped in to Logan. He laughed with you and called
you `little man' then he rubbed your head and I was jealous of you because
I would have given anything for Logan to notice me. I mean you were cute
and all, but Logan was Logan."

	I smiled. "He was cocky as hell but he had the looks and the talent
to back it up."

	"So you liked him too?"

	"No. I never liked him."

	"You're lying!"

	"I didn't say I never thought about him. I said I never liked
him–not like that. He was more like another big brother to me. I could
see how hot he was and I fantasized about him sometimes but I never wanted
him the way I wanted you."

	"Did you ever want anyone the way you wanted me?"

	"I liked my girlfriends but I don't think so. I don't know. It's
just something about you that makes my knees weak."

	"So you really like me and you don't just want to have sex with
me?"

	I couldn't look at him and say yes, so I looked away, "I guess so."

	"Okay."

	"Okay what?"

	"Okay, I'll date you." He moved back in to my lap and we started
kissing again. It was all happening too fast for me. I didn't want to go
from barely knowing him in the morning to having sex with him that
night. As much as I wanted him, that wasn't the way I worked. I kissed him
one good time so I could savor the taste and have something to jack off to
later, then I stood up. He put his legs around me and said, "My bedroom is
down the hall. It's the third door on the right."

	I pried him off of me and I sat him on the sofa. He reached for my
pants and I gently swatted his hand away. "I have to go."

	"I thought you wanted me."

	"I do, but I can't have sex with you right now and I know that's
where this is headed."

	"It's just sex, remember?"

	"It's just sex to other people. When I do it, it's not just sex. I
need more than that."

	"You're a guy."

	"I know. That's why I'm leaving. I need to get out of here while
I'm still thinking with the right head."

	To my surprise, he smiled and asked, "Do I at least get a kiss
goodbye?"

	"What do you think we just did?"

	His hand slid down his chest suggestively and my eye twitched. I
quickly put my books in my bag and walked to the door. I turned to say
goodbye and I saw him coming towards me. I wanted to scoop him up and take
him to his room. I knew I couldn't let him get close to me. I fumbled with
the door and somehow managed to open it and get out of there before he
reached me. I got in my car and sped home.

	Elliot was everything I thought I didn't want and to top it off, my
older brother had been with him. I had a policy against dating anyone that
my brother had been with, but I knew I was going to make an exception for
Elliot. On paper, he was no where near my dream man, but in reality he
starred in most of my dreams. I didn't know what made him special. All I
knew was that he was.

	It felt strange to forgive him for so many traits that I would have
found undesirable in anyone else, but I didn't care. I had to give us a
chance if for no other reason than the fact that I needed to date him and
get it out of my system before my desire for him drove me crazy.

	I went home and my brother was in the kitchen rummaging through the
refrigerator. He was attending a local college so he stayed at home with
us. Most of his friends left town to go to college. I think it bothered him
sometimes but he always said it didn't. He didn't get a basketball
scholarship and he knew our parents couldn't afford to send him to an
expensive school out of state so he stayed and made things easy on them. He
was like my mother when it came to things like that. He willingly
sacrificed his happiness for other people. That was part of the reason why
I was shocked that he had a part in that ugly incident with Elliot.

	He threw a bowl of leftover spaghetti on the table then he saw
me. I asked, "Where are Mom and Dad?"

	"They went to dinner with Uncle Brian. So, where you been?" He put
a bottle of Coke to his lips and started drinking.

	"I was over at Elliot Romaine's house." Quincy almost choked on the
Coke. He spit some of it in the bottle and sat the bottle down.

	"What the hell were you doing over there?"

	"Studying and hanging out."

	"Since when are you friends with him?"

	"Why do you care?"

	"I don't. He's just not the type of kid someone like you should be
hanging around with."

	"Why? He seems cool to me. Is there something you know about him
that I don't?"

	"He's gay."

	"I know. Mom and Dad raised us not to discriminate against people."

	"But he's gay gay."

	"What's that supposed to mean?"

	He sighed. "Never mind. Be friends with whoever the hell you want
to be friends with."

	Quincy was so pissed off that he picked up the bottle and was about
to leave the kitchen without warming the spaghetti. "Why are you so upset?"

	"Why are you asking so many goddamn questions? That kid aint a good
look for you but you do you. I'm not going to argue with you about that
loser."

	I decided to drop the ruse and let him know that I knew. "Q, how
could you do that to him?"

	"Do what?"

	"You know what you and Logan and the other guys did to him."
	"I'm not talking about that shit with you."

	"Is that why you and Logan aren't as close anymore?"

	"Yeah, something like that. You know that kind of thing isn't me."

	"But what if it's me?"

	"You couldn't do that to someone. There isn't enough alcohol or
weed in the world to make someone like you do something like that."

	"No, I mean what if I'm gay?"

	He pulled out a seat and sat at the table. "So you think you might
be gay so you went to see that slut?"

	"It wasn't like that. He's not a slut."

	"Do you want a list of all the guys he's fucked around with?"

	"That was before. He's not that way anymore."

	"How do you know?"

	"He told me."

	"And you believed him?"

	"He told me the truth about everything else. Why would he lie about
that?"

	"He probably wants to get in your pants."

	"Look Q, I like him and I believe him. I don't like the fact that
you've been with him but I'm going to overlook it because I like him enough
to see where this leads."

	"What is there to like about him? He looks like a thirteen year old
kid on a good day."

	"I like him." He must have seen how serious I was because he took
another swallow of his drink and looked away.

	"So you're gay?"

	"Yeah."

	"I'm not," he said.

	"I know you aren't."

	"That thing with Elliot was"

	"You don't have to explain. I know what it was. It was you and
Logan being drunk and stupid."

	"No one should be that stupid. Ew. I hadn't even shared a
toothbrush with Logan before that night." Q winced like it was a painful
memory. "Look, I don't really want to talk about this anymore. If you're
gay then that's cool. You know I wouldn't trip over that but you need to
have better taste in guys." He stood and took the bowl over to the
microwave.

	"You warming that for me?"

	He laughed. "You better look in the fridge and find something to
eat."

	One thing I loved about my brother was that he tried not to make a
big deal out of things. He could have made my coming out more difficult
than it was, but his only objection was my choice for a potential
boyfriend. I wasn't hungry. My mind was too active to slow down and think
about food. I had kissed Elliot and I knew that he liked me too. He wasn't
as sensitive as I was but I dismissed that to his experiences.

	I bombed my test the next day because I was too busy trying not to
get hard in class. Sitting next to Elliot and knowing what we had done the
night before was too intense for me. I was less focused than usual. I read
the same questions three or four times and still couldn't remember what
they were asking for. I managed to do a couple of the straight forward
problems, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the word problems. I looked
over at Elliot once and he looked at me and smiled. I probably would have
creamed my pants if I didn't pinch myself. I should have jacked off that
morning. I knew I was going to see him and I knew what effect that would
have on my body. I hadn't had sex with anyone in a year.

	At the end of class, Elliot grabbed my arm. "Dante." The way he
said my name was sweet melodious music to my ears. He asked me if I wanted
to come over and hang out with him after school. I couldn't say no. I
suggested we go to Arby's and grab something to eat on the way to his
place. He whispered, "Is that going to count as a date?"

	I almost leapt out of my skin when I saw the way he was looking at
me. "Sure."

	He slowly dropped his hand from my arm. I instantly missed his
small fingers pressing in to my skin. "Okay. I'll meet you at Arby's."

	I shouldn't have made plans with him because I spent the rest of
the school day completely distracted by thoughts of him. I was looking
forward to seeing him and talking to him. I liked the way the words flowed
so easily from my lips when I was with him and I liked knowing that he
trusted me enough to tell me something he hadn't told anyone else.

	I went to Arby's and he was already there. He was sitting in a
booth in the corner, but he was facing the line so it was easy to spot
him. He smiled at me and I waved and hurried to buy something so I could go
sit with him. I sat across from him because I knew it would be dangerous to
sit next to him. I didn't care if people saw us because my business was my
business, but I didn't want to make a scene in public and I was afraid my
lips might accidentally crash against his if we were that close.

	I said, "Hi."

	"Afraid to sit next me?"

	"Yeah." He blushed. I hadn't seen him blush before. Just like
everything else about him, it was cute. His face got red a little under his
eyes towards the top of his cheeks. He looked away. "Are you blushing?"

	"You should have seen the way you looked at me when you said that,
like I'm the only person here right now. It was sweet. Guys aren't sweet to
me."

	"Well they should be."

	"Keep saying things like that and I just might keep you around."

	"Like you could get rid of me."

	"I guess you're right. If you could hear what I told you last night
and still be here today looking at me like that, it's going to take a lot
to get rid of you."

	I wondered if that was what he had been trying to do. One of my
friends came over and spoke to me. He looked at Elliot and asked me, "How
do you know Elliot?"

	"We have math together."

	"Oh." I didn't like the way he looked at Elliot. He didn't look at
him like he wanted to sleep with him, but rather like Elliot should have
been ashamed to seen in public.

	"How do you know Elliot?" I asked.

	"I don't know him. Not really. I've just heard his name mentioned a
couple of times."

	Elliot looked down. "Good things?" I asked.

	"Things," he said.

	"Like what?"

	He suddenly became nervous. "Things."
	"Okay well I'll see you later." He took a final look at Elliot then
walked away. "Is he one of the guys from your past?"

	Elliot said, "No. I told you I thought everyone knew. People who I
have never seen before at school sometimes say things to me about it."

	"Do your friends give you a hard time about it?"

	"What friends?"

	"I just assumed"

	"I stopped having friends junior year. There are a couple of people
who are nice to me, but no one really wants to be friends with me."

	"I do."

	"Even you want more than friendship."

	I thought about it. He was right. "You're right. I do want more
than friendship."

	"Do you want to get out of here?"

	"Yeah."

	I followed him to his house. I promised myself that I wasn't going
to have sex with him. I had a two month rule and I was going to keep it. I
had kept it with every girlfriend I had and I was going to keep it with my
first boyfriend. Thinking of him as my boyfriend made me wonder if I had a
right to think of him that way. We were something more than friends but
something less than boyfriends. I wouldn't call us friends with benefits
because I wasn't going to partake in the benefits until we were boyfriends.

	He sat on his sofa and I foolishly sat next to him. I put my arm
around him and he leaned in to me. "You're so big," he said. "You could
wrap your arms around me and make me disappear."

	It was an odd thing for him to say but I was enjoying the way he
fit perfectly in my arm so I didn't pay it much attention. "What do you
want to do?" I asked.

	"Let's watch a movie."

	"Okay." He put in a dvd and came back to his seat. When he clicked
it on, I knew it was a porno. I sat up on the sofa, "Do you have a regular
movie?"

	"Watch this with me," he made a puppy dog face and added, "please."

	I gave in. "Okay." Of course it was a gay porno. It was an
interracial porno with a big black guy and a regular sized white guy. I
wondered if Elliot was trying to seduce me. I wasn't wondering very long
because his hand was massaging my thigh about two minutes in to the
movie. I pushed his hand away.

	"Come on, let me jerk you off." His small lips made contact with my
neck and I knew I was lost. I let his hand massage its way up my thigh and
slither in to my pants. My dick was out of my pants about ten seconds
later. He jerked me for a while. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. The
sounds of sex coming from the tv only added to the feelings I had. My eyes
shot open when I felt the warmth of his body disappear from my side. He was
on his knees in front of me. He must have known I was going to try to stop
him because he put his finger to his lips and said, "Just close your eyes
and let me do this." If I was thinking with the right head, I would have
said no, but I was too far gone.

	His small lips started out by planting tiny kisses all over my
shaft. I could tell he was going to be good by the way he sucked in the tip
then dropped it from his lips and blew air over it. It excited me even
more. When he really went to work on me, it was like nothing I had ever
felt before. He was better than all of the girls who I had been with. He
knew where to touch and how to touch it. I didn't last long. I came and I
thought he would be disappointed that I came so soon, but he wasn't. He
swallowed every drop then crawled up in my lap and kissed my cheek.

	"I'm sorry," I said.

	"Don't be. You lasted longer than most of the guys I've been with."
He hugged me and gave me a quick kiss on the mouth. "I'm going to move
because I know you don't want to go much further than where we just went."
He licked his lips. "So I'm your first guy ever?"

	"Yes."

	"Are you sure?"

	"I told you that you were."

	"That makes me feel special," he said.

	"You are special." I could tell it was hard for him to take a
compliment. "I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you that I have a
two month rule."

	"A what?"

	"A two month rule. I have to be dating you for at least two months
and you have to be my boyfriend before we go all the way."

	"Why? That's silly."

	"I've always been that way with girls."
	"But I'm a boy." He moved closer to me on the sofa. "This is one of
your things, isn't it? If I finish seducing you and we have sex today, you
won't be able to look at yourself in the mirror tomorrow, will you?"

	"I'd look, but I'd be disappointed in the guy looking back at me."

	"If this was two years ago, I wouldn't care about how you felt in
the morning." He turned off the movie. "You're lucky I care." He sat up and
said. "You should spend the night."

	"I just told you about my rule."

	"I know. I'll make sure you don't break it." There was a slight
pause. "I've never had a guy hold me all night, not even after sex. It
would be nice to go to sleep in your arms and wake up that way without
having to exchange sex for that kind of intimacy." I must have been looking
at him strange because he smiled and said, "I watched Dr. Phil yesterday
before you came over."

	"Oh."

	"So are you going to call your parents and see if its okay?"

	"I'm 18, I don't have to call them." He made a face and I
laughed. "Give me a minute." I grabbed the phone that was sitting on the
end table and called my mother's cell. She was more lenient than my father
when it came to last minute plans. I asked her if I could stay over a
friend's house and she said sure. She asked where I was and I told her. I
was honest with her. She trusted me and I never wanted to lose that trust
so I had always told her the truth about where I was. I might have omitted
details about what I or the people around me were doing, but I was truthful
about my location. I hung up then phone and asked, "So if you're not going
to seduce me, what are we going to do?"

	"Plan B."

	"What's that?"

	"Get to know each other on a personal level instead of a physical
level." He looked towards my lap. "You should probably put that away." I
blushed. I hadn't thought about it. I put it away and I could feel Elliot's
eyes staring at my hand as I tucked it back in my underwear and zipped and
buttoned my pants. My two month rule felt dumber and dumber as each second
ticked away. "So why are you attracted to me? Do you have a thing for
little kids?"

	I laughed. "My brother asked me almost the same thing last night."

	"You told your brother about me?"

	"Yeah. I told you I like you. My brother and I are close. I had to
tell him."

	"I bet he warned you to stay away from me."
	"He did, but I like you enough to see where this goes."

	"So how do you know you like me and you're not just attracted to
me?"

	"Because I'm attracted to a lot of people but none of them give me
the feeling that you do."

	"What feeling?"

	"Sickness."

	He started cracking up. "You like me because I make you sick?"

	"Not that kind of sick. You make me sick because I don't like
sitting near you in class because it's hard for me to concentrate on
anything else when you're in the room let alone sitting close enough for me
to reach out and touch you. Sick as in my stomach sometimes cramps up when
you smile at me. Sick like I think I could break my two month rule and
maybe not give a damn. Sick like I get nervous around you and I open my
mouth and say things that I don't want to say but I can't help but say it
because its you and I'm in a constant battle to control my urges when I'm
around you because we've been together for years in my head. I mean in my
head we're like married and ready to adopt a baby. It's crazy and a little
scary and I'll shut up now."

	"You know what scares me about you?"

	"I say the wrong things?"

	"No. You say all the right things. What scares me is that I know
you mean it when you say you like me and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to
respond to that kind of sincerity. I mean it used to be that I would just
have sex with a guy because he said he liked me, well, that's a bad example
because I probably would have had sex with you yesterday if you hadn't left
and tonight if you hadn't told me about your two month rule. It's more than
that anyway. I don't understand how you can be 18 and already be so
confident in yourself and who you are. I mean there are things you stand
for and you live by those convictions. You're such a good person. We're so
different. I'm almost afraid to like you because I don't see how you and I
could ever work. I can't believe you're willing to ignore my past and that
thing with your brother just so you can see what it's like to date me. I'm
really not that wonderful."

	"Neither am I. I may be clean cut, but no one is perfect. I admit
that you're nothing like the guy most people would assume I would date, but
that shit doesn't matter to me. Those guys don't make me feel the way you
do. I know I don't know you very well, but that's what dating is for. The
reason why I wait to have sex is because I want to know at least a little
something about the person."

	"Have you always waited two months?"

	"At least two. With some of my girlfriends I waited longer than
that. Isabelle was my first girlfriend and we didn't have sex until close
to the end of our relationship. We had dated a year by then."

	"A year? What were you doing together if you weren't having sex?"

	"We were thirteen and fourteen. We thought it was cool when we held
hands in public and went to the movies together. That was dating for
us. Other people started telling us that we should be having sex and so one
night we did. It actually ruined our relationship because it forced us to
face the fact that we were better as friends. She's like my sister now."

	"Does she know that you're gay?"

	"No one knew until last night."

	"I thought Quincy knew."

	"I told him last night."

	"Oh."

	"He reacted pretty much the same way I expect my parents to react."

	"How's that?"

	"Like it isn't a big deal."

	"So why is he the only one you told?"

	"My parents were gone last night."

	"Or else you would have told them?"

	"Probably not. I'm just getting used to the idea myself. This is
the first time I've ever done something about my attraction to guys."

	"So when you said I was your first guy, you didn't mean the first
guy to go down on you but like literally the first?"

	"Yes."

	"So I'm your first kiss with a guy and hand job with a guy and blow
job with a guy"

	I interjected, "And in two months you'll be my first sex with a
guy."

	He grinned as if he loved that idea. "I love the idea of that," he
said.
	"Being literally the first or having sex with me?"

	"Both. In fact, I can't really decide which idea I love the
most. It's like you saved yourself for me."

	"I had sex with girls."

	He smiled and covered his eyes, "Stop reminding me. I never made
that mistake."

	"It wasn't so bad."

	"But it's nothing like being with me." He winked and my dick sprang
in to action.

	"I think we need to change the subject."

	"Me too because I'm picturing those fingers of yours doing some
things to me that would force me to help you break your rule." His gaze was
on my hand and my hand was slowly massaging my erection through my pants. I
hadn't realized I was doing it until he made his comment. "This is good,"
he said.

	"What?"

	"When you like someone, there should be chemistry and we definitely
have that part covered."

	I swallowed hard. "Maybe I should go home."

	"No, don't. I promise I'll behave and I'll make sure you do too. It
will be nice to go to sleep without downing three or four beers first."

	"You drink every night? Even when your parents are here?"

	"Yeah. I keep beers stashed in a refrigerator in my closet."

	"How big is your closet?"

	"It's a small refrigerator." He stood. "I usually need something to
take the edge off. I didn't drink last night though. I was too busy
thinking about you and wishing you had stayed." He extended his hand to
me. "Come check out my room."

	"It's a little early to go to bed."

	"We can watch tv or a movie or get on my computer or play a video
game. There are other things to do in my room besides get in bed."

	"Okay."
	His hand felt so tiny. He led me to his bedroom. His room was about
twice the size of mine. If they knocked down the wall between my room and
Quincy's room and opened up the area, it would still be smaller than
Elliot's bedroom. I sat on the loveseat in his room and I noticed all of
the pictures of him and his family. He followed my gaze and said, "We used
to do things together all the time."

	"What happened?"

	"I stopped growing." He laughed. "No, the rumors started that I was
gay and they started pulling away from me. Suddenly they were going on
trips all the time and I was left at home, alone or with the company of
some guy who just wanted to fuck me and leave. I sure got more than my
share of attention while they were gone and I didn't really discriminate
much. I just wanted someone to touch me. I stopped putting out and wouldn't
you know it, I suddenly wasn't very popular. No one wanted to just hang out
and cuddle."

	He sat next to me and I felt sorry for him. His parents had to know
that some of those rumors were true. It sounded like they had already
abandoned him and they were just waiting for indisputable evidence so they
could make it official.

	I moved from the loveseat and laid on his bed. I tapped the bed and
told him, "Come here." He got in the bed and turned his back to me. I
wrapped my arms around him and said, "We should lay like this and talk for
a while."

	"That sounds nice."

	We talked until we both dozed off then we woke up and ordered some
food. I watched him reach for a beer then put it back and grab a half
gallon of fruit punch. I watched in amazement as he ate twice as much as I
did and polished off the half gallon. "Where do you put all that food?"

	"I'm an emotional eater. I pig out when I'm happy or sad or
stressed."

	"Which one are you now?"

	"I think I'm happy. I'm not really sure what that emotion feels
like though because it's been a while. Are you happy when you can't stop
smiling and you keep praying that what's happening to you is real and you
won't close your eyes and find that it was all a dream?"

	I said, "Now you know how I feel." He blushed and I smiled. "I'm
happy that I'm finally getting a chance to know you."

	"I'm happy too."

	There was something that had been broken in him but I truly
believed that I was in possession of whatever he was missing and I could
make it better. We had a nice dinner together and we talked half the night.
	It was easy to fall in love with him. If I was being honest with
myself, I would have admitted that I was halfway in love with him well
before our `study session.' He did it for me–plain and simple–no
excuses, he just did. He turned out to be a really caring boyfriend and he
was respectful of my rule. He kept me from breaking it on more than one
occasion and that just made me love him more. By our one month anniversary,
I was head over heels in love with him and my heart was his and his alone.

	Things between us moved fast like we were making up for lost
time. We were already out at school thanks to an incident in the boy's
locker room. I had Elliot meet me in there after school. I just wanted to
kiss him and I couldn't wait until we went to his house. As soon as he
entered the locker room, I picked him up and started kissing him. There was
no better feeling than to have his arms and legs draped around me. The
basketball team was supposed to have an away game, so you can imagine my
surprise when the door opened and the team came walking in. There was no
denying what we had been doing.

	I smiled and said, "Hey guys." Elliot was about to drop down, but I
held him tight and started walking. "I thought you guys had a game." They
all stared at me like I had two heads.

	One of them finally said, "It was cancelled."

	"Oh, okay. Well we'll be leaving now." I walked us out of the
locker room and I could hear the guys asking each other what the hell that
was all about.

	I heard one of the guys say, "The guy in his arms was Elliot
Romaine. You know that guy that we heard all those stories about."

	I tried to walk faster because I didn't want Elliot to hear what
else was being said. One of the guys from the team asked me about it the
next day and I told him Elliot was my boyfriend. I had already discussed it
with Elliot and he didn't care who knew. Word spread surprisingly fast. I
didn't think anyone cared about my business that much but it turned out
that almost everyone cared because I was Quincy's little brother and Quincy
was still popular at my school even though he had graduated two years
before. He and Logan had led the school to our one and only appearance in
the state championship for basketball.

	A couple of guys pulled me to the side and enlightened me about
Elliot's past. I told them I knew, but he wasn't like that anymore. They
stared at me in disbelief. I told them that every person had the ability to
change.

	Elliot had met my parents and exchanged a few awkward pleasantries
with Quincy, but I hadn't properly introduced him to my parents. They
didn't know that I was gay and that he was my boyfriend and I wanted to
claim him as mine in front of them before he and I had sex for the first
time. On the eve of our two month anniversary, Elliot came over for dinner
and I told my parents about us. They didn't seem surprised.

	"How'd you know?" I asked.

	My mother smiled, "Cynthia called me and told me that her son
caught you kissing some boy in the locker room a couple of weeks ago."

	"Why didn't you say anything?"

	"I know you. I knew you'd sit us down and tell us once you figured
out if that was what you really wanted."

	I held Elliot's hand. "It is. I mean he is."

	Quincy looked like he was about to gag. My father looked stoic. He
said, "Okay, now we've talked about it. Will someone please pass the rest
of the mashed potatoes?"

	I knew my father. He was dismissing my announcement because he was
disappointed in me. I was caught off guard by his reaction. I assumed both
of my parents would act just like Quincy. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

	He sat down the bowl of mashed potatoes and said, "You haven't
disappointed me but your mother and I have been talking about this for two
weeks and I'm a little tired of the topic. I'm glad its all out in the
open, but you know how your mother and I are. You're still our son and you
always will be. I'm not going to love you any less. I mean Ricky is my best
friend and he's gay."

	"He is?"

	Quincy laughed, "You seriously thought Chris was just his
roommate?"

	"Yes."

	My father laughed with him. "How could you not know? But that's
besides the point. I go over to their place and watch the game with them
all the time. I've never cared that Ricky was gay and I've known about him
since I was 14. If you want to know what my problem is, then I'll tell
you. I don't understand why we had to hear about it from someone else. You
should have told us as soon as you knew."

	Elliot's mother called and told him to come home. I walked him to
the door and kissed him goodbye. It was hard to sleep that night because I
knew I was going to have sex with Elliot the next day. I was more than
ready to share that experience with him.

	Elliot had booked us a room at a local hotel because his parents
had the bad timing of picking that weekend as one of the weekends when they
actually stayed at home with him. I felt like an adult when we walked up to
the counter and checked in to our room.

	We entered the room and Elliot said, "Well we're here."

	I turned him around and picked him up. We kissed for a few minutes,
but both of us rushed to get our clothes off and get to the main event. I
wanted him more than I thought possible. I was amazed that after all the
sexual things we had done together, the thought of entering him made my
body leak.

	I put him down. He got on the bed and I reached in my bag and took
out a condom and some lube. He sucked his finger then pushed it up his ass
and I almost came as I watched him. He took his finger out and looked at me
like he was lost. I had put my fingers in him before. He was always so
tight. He started gliding his fingers over his stomach and staring at me. I
knew what he wanted so I crawled next to him on the bed. I sat the lube and
the condom on a pillow and I put my middle finger up to his lips. He opened
his mouth and sucked my finger in then he spit it out. I didn't waste any
time. My finger was lined up at his entrance and pushing in only a moment
later. He loved when I fingered him. I fingered him for a while and we
kissed. That was usually as far as we went in terms of penetration, but we
were about to go further. His ass seemed to be eagerly waiting for
something bigger.

	He broke the kiss and said, "Let me taste you." He kissed his way
down my body and plunged on my dick like it belonged in his mouth. I
understood what some of those singers meant when they said every time was
like the first time because that's how it was with Elliot. If anything,
being with him seemed to get better and better. He sucked me until I came
in his mouth then he said, "Now we can have some real fun."

	We both hoped I would last for a while so we could prolong our
first time. He put the condom on me and lubed me up pretty good then he
turned his ass to me and passed me the lube. I applied a lot of lube to his
hole and I wondered how my big dick was going to fit inside him then I
thought about the performances he put on for me in his bedroom. He would
sometimes fuck himself with a dildo and call out my name. I would either
jack him off or sit in a chair and jack myself off while I listened to him
moan my name in pleasure. It was so wrong yet so right. I was glad to
finally be taking the place of the dildo.

	We had already discussed the arrangements. Elliot was going to
start out on top because he because he had experience. I stuck my finger in
his ass a couple of times to make sure he was good and lubed. He pulled
away and turned to face me. "Are you ready?" he asked.

	"Yes."

	He held my dick and slowly sat down on it. I held my breath as I
disappeared inside him. He rubbed my chest with his free hand and said,
"Breathe."

	I tried breathing but it wasn't working out so well. He was so
little and so amazing and so cute. I wanted to keep him all to myself but I
knew that would be selfish. I was shocked when I felt his ass make contact
with my balls. I couldn't believe that I was all the way inside him. I mean
I was balls deep inside his tight ass. It was better than any wet dream I
had ever had about him. His ass muscles felt like they were trying to milk
my dick. That, combined with the visual of watching myself go in and out of
him and seeing the pleasure on his face and hearing the pleasure as he
panted was about to send me over the edge but he sensed it and stopped
moving. I started pumping in to him hoping to get that feeling back.

	He put his hand on my chest and said, "Slow down. I want you to
chase that feeling for longer than a minute." He smiled. "Yes, I could
tell." I leaned my neck forward and he leaned down and kissed me. We kissed
for a few seconds then he asked, "Can you handle this?"

	"God I hope so." He giggled and started rocking back and forth and
contracting his ass muscles and just making me feel too good for words. I
stopped him. "I need a second." He understood.

	"It makes me feel good to know that you're enjoying yourself."

	"How could I not? I'm with you."

	"You're too good for me," he said as he leaned in for another
kiss. We tried to have him ride me a couple more times but each time, I was
close to blowing in less than a second.

	"I'm sorry," I said.

	"Let's try something else." He crawled off of me and got on all
fours. "Get behind me."

	I was nervous when I started entering him from behind, but he
pushed back against me and made sure I was as far inside him as I could get
in that position. I was still close to the edge but looking at his back
seemed to help me calm down and last a little longer than I could have with
him on top of me. I enjoyed his body for a while. I was about to come so I
pulled out. I wanted him to be able to look in my eyes when I came. I
wanted him to see that it was more than sex to me. I knew that he knew it,
but I wanted him to see it. I was going to have him get on top of me but he
laid on his back and spread his legs.

	I laughed. "Okay, we can do that."

	He smiled and I eased in to him. Once I was inside him, he wrapped
his legs around me and limited my movement. His ass twitched and I started
pumping in to him so hard that I was lifting both of us off the bed each
time I tried to pull out. It was nothing short of intense and everything
beyond amazing. I came harder than I had the first time that evening. I
laid on top of him with my head to the side of his and I basked in the
afterglow of my first time with a man.

	"How was it?" he whispered.

	"It was everything I thought it would be and more."

	He stroked my cheek. "I'm glad I was your first." I loved the way
he always made it seem like the girls I had been with didn't count.

	"Me too." I kissed his nose and said the only thing that had been
left unsaid between us, "I love you."

	I thought he wouldn't be ready to say it back, but he quickly said,
"I love you too." He added, "I've had what I thought was great sex before
but it pales in comparison to the way you just made me feel. It's official,
you have catapulted yourself to the top of the list with a gold star and a
big smiley face next to your name. I even think I'll add a `please do that
again with him' next to it." I laughed then kissed him and that concluded
our first time.

	My first time with a guy couldn't have been more perfect than my
night with him. I was hooked on him after that. With Isabelle, sex had
ended our relationship, but with Elliot, sex seemed like the one thing our
relationship had been missing.

	Things were good between us. He and I made a really great match. We
complemented each other like missing pieces of the same puzzle and my
mother said that was a good thing. My family liked Elliot. Even Quincy
seemed to warm towards him. Quincy was happy for me. He was even happier
when Elliot introduced him to the basketball coach at the state
university. One of his players had been arrested and would no longer be
able to play for the school. The coach remembered Quincy from his
recruiting visits. He had picked Logan over Quincy. He invited Quincy to
come work out with the team and he offered Quincy a basketball scholarship
a few weeks later. Suddenly Quincy thought Elliot was a really good guy.

	Elliot's parents liked me. They thought Elliot and I were close
friends. It should be no surprise that Elliot's parents worked their magic
and got me an acceptance letter and a scholarship to Duke.

	On my graduation day, my mother freaked out because both of her
babies would be leaving her in the fall. She cried so hard that I felt
guilty for leaving but my father told me that she would be fine. He said
they both knew that day was coming but she hadn't prepared herself for
it. I tried to spend a lot of quality time with her over the summer. Elliot
was usually there but she treated him like he was a third son so it was
okay for him to be there. Elliot was so understanding about it. He told me
we would have plenty of alone time in our apartment near campus so he could
wait until then.

	He whispered, "You already know I'm willing to wait for you." We
found time to have sex with each other but we didn't go on many one on one
dates over the summer.

	We made it all the way through college as a couple. Quincy was
shocked. He said college was the great divider of couples but he was glad
to see we made it. I won't say it was easy. We definitely had our issues,
but being with him was something I never doubted. I had to be in his life
and I knew he felt the same way about me. Once we had that established, we
were okay with jumping over the hurdles that life put in front of us.

	We decided to get have a civil union ceremony on the fifth
anniversary of our first time together. We were the only ones who knew what
the date represented. The night before our ceremony, Elliot called me in to
the bedroom.
	"What is it?" I asked.

	"I need you in here for a minute." He picked up the phone and
dialed a number. My heart skipped a beat because I knew what he was going
to do. He said, "Hi Mom, is Dad home?" She responded and he said,
"Good. Would you tell him to get the phone, but don't hang up because there
is something I want to say to both of you." I sat next to him and put my
arm around him. "Hi Dad. I called to tell you guys something." There was a
pause. "Back in high school there were a lot of rumors about me and you
guys said you didn't believe any of them but I know you were lying. I
noticed that your trips became more frequent after the rumors started, like
you couldn't wait for an excuse to be away from me. You didn't treat me
differently when you were home but I felt the change between us. I also
noticed that you guys don't go on as many trips now that I'm not home." He
held the phone. "No Mom, stop. I didn't call to argue about it. I called to
tell you what you already know but never wanted me to say: I'm gay. I'm in
love with Dante and we're going to have a ceremony tomorrow. I don't expect
you guys to be there but I didn't want to commit to him without letting
everyone I love know about it. You're the only people I haven't told, so
now you know." He was listening to something they were saying. "Yes, I
understand. That's fine. I'll talk to you later." He hung up.

	"What did they say?"

	"They won't be able to make it. It's too short notice." This was
the same couple who would jet off to an international destination at the
drop of a hat, but twenty four hour notice was somehow not enough time. We
both knew why they weren't going to be there. Elliot was relieved that they
hadn't disowned him. "At least they still love me," he said. He kissed my
cheek. "Besides, I have you. What more could a man want?"

	I kissed him and said, "A good roll in the hay."

	He laughed and moved out of my arms. "Oh no, I already told you I'm
not having sex with you tonight. You'll have to wait until tomorrow. After
you've professed your love for me in front of all your friends and family I
can be your bed buddy again." He grabbed his away bag. "Now I'm going to
spend the night at the hotel. I will see you tomorrow."

	"At least give me a kiss before you go."

	He walked back to the bed and kissed me. "I can't wait until
tomorrow," he said.

	"Me neither."

	He kissed me one more time and said, "You're going to be stuck with
me forever."

	"Now there's something to dream about," I said.

	He kissed my cheek and said, "Well then sweet dreams."

	I watched him walk out of our bedroom and I knew we were going to
make it because I started missing him before he reached the door. We were
an odd couple but the love between us overpowered all of our
differences. When I looked at him, I didn't see a five foot two white
guy. I saw Elliot, the man I loved.


Copyright Lustyville 2010

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