Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2004 12:41:02 -0400
From: Just Jake <mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com>
Subject: Dear Journal IV (high school)

This story is a work of fiction and any resemblances to  any
person or written works are purely coincidental.  The author
retains all rights to the work, and requests that in any use
of  this  material that my rights are respected.  Please  do
not  copy  or  use  this  story in  any  manner  without  my
permission.   It  may contain consensual sex  between  young
men,  or  at least thoughts of it.  You've found  this  site
like  the  rest of us so the assumption is that material  of
this  nature  does not offend you.  If it  does,  or  it  is
illegal for you to view this content for whatever the reason
please just keep on passing by.

As always, please read of your own free will, and direct any
positive   comments,  constructive  criticism   or   general
feedback to: mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com.



*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *


Part 4: New Passion


So here I am, naked except for a pair of ankle socks with Chris in one of
his
bedrooms.  One of his bedrooms!  Shit, his so called apartment in
his home is probably about as big as the main floor of the house I
share with my Mom and three sisters.  I look at the Speedo and
swimmer's jock that Chris has just handed me.  Why would I need both
I'm wondering, but am not about to look stupid by asking.  Plus I
just gave mutual blow jobs with him.  I'm feeling self conscious
standing naked before Chris with my boner still reaching for the
sky, and my stomach is queasy because of what I've just done with
him, but as I start to step into the jock all I can think of is why
bother with modesty now?  I'm taking in Chris's full body for the
first time.  Damn, he is hot.  He has the slightest chest, but his
abs are impressive.  There not thick and bulging, but the definition
is definitely somewhat visible.  His cheeks are red, just like I can
feel mine are, so I'm guessing that he feels the same way as me.
Well, what's done is done.  No going back now.

I almost exclusively stick to boxer briefs, so once I have the Speedo on I
still feel fully naked.  So instead of feeling totally uncomfortable
I find my voice enough to break the awkward silence and ask Chris,
"Hey.  These are pretty hot and feel kinda sexy and stuff, but can I
maybe try the shorts you mentioned before?"  My voice cracked, but
Chris made no recognition of my embarrassment.

"Yeah sure.  You feel exposed in those, right?  Why don't you put the shorts
on over those and then you can pull them off in the water if you
like.  Still try the Speedos.  If you've never swam in a Speedo
before then you'll love the freedom." Chris is still naked in front
of his swimwear drawer rummaging for something when I asked so he
walks over to another dresser and pulls out a red pair of lifeguard
shorts with the liner cut out and hands them to me.

As I slip the shorts on he finds what he was looking for I guess and pulls
out a baby blue swimmers jock and a different American themed Speedo
than the one I have on.  I can't help but stare as he slips them on,
he is a cutie and despite the lack of hair his body is more mature
than I've seen fully naked in my presence in my life.  But hey, I've
only seen Daniel fully naked to be honest aside from the porn I've
seen over the net.

"Stop staring Sexy, you'll give a guy a complex!" Chris says through a
(nervous?) laugh.

While watching out of the corners of my eyes how he positioned himself in
the
jock and then Speedo I figure out the best way to adjust myself so
that my boner isn't uncomfortable, because it sure is noticeable.  I
gush, "You're hot, Chris.  I mean it, seriously.  I still can't
figure why you want me.  Not that I'm complaining."

Our conversation is pretty choppy with long silences between the few words
we
exchange.  Chris is dressed and tossing me a towel when he replies,
"You're a hottie too, Jon.  Maybe you need a mirror or something,
you're too modest."

"You think so?" I ask, not meaning to really say it aloud, recalling that
Michael used to always tell me that.  I don't want spoil the moment
thinking about that homophobic ass.

"Yes.  To both!" He answers.

We head out of his room and I follow him down the same hallway and stairs
that he led me up.  We go down an extra set of stairs to a partial
level that is not visible from the road.  We walk through a large
games room with a pool table in the center and a bar along one wall
with an amazing fireplace along the other.  The back wall is almost
completely glass and leads out below a wooden deck that runs two
thirds the length of the back of the house and wraps around the
right corner.  The deck above leads down to a richly landscaped
patio.  Stepping out from under the deck I must admit the sight from
the road was mind blowing to me, and looking at the place from
behind is just awe inspiring.

"Yeah, I know, it's huge.  The place is 6300 square feet, maybe three times
the size of an average home.  Like I said it's been in the family
for 130 years and has grown a lot from what it started as.  Alex
thinks it's all too much really but I'm not going to complain.  The
pools just over there," Chris says, pointing to a brick enclosure
that juts out from the back of the house where the deck overlooks
it, flanking the patio we just walked across.

O.K.  Maybe it's only about 3 times the size of an average home.  Well its
still unfathomably huge to me; its 6300 square feet is almost 6
times the size of my 1100 square foot home.  As we pass a hot tub
and a small addition to the pool building on the way to the pool, I
ask, "Who's Alex?"

After Chris points out that the building has a sauna and a washroom as well
as his and hers change rooms he answers, "Alex is my sister."

"Older or younger?" I inquire.

"A year and a half older.  I used to get reminded so many times when I was
younger that I'll never dare forget the extra half a year.  Yeah,
she's made that a knee jerk reaction in me." Chris answers.

The pool is nothing less than stunning.  I'm quite blown away.  Jealous too,
but more so maybe embarrassed that I don't stack up to this
lifestyle at all.  Sort of a real life Prince and Pilgrim scenario.
How long can anything last between us?  We're from totally different
worlds.  Really!  While I'm staring in an attempt to take it all in
Chris catches me off guard and pushes me into the pool from behind.
The water is a bit warm for my liking but it sure is refreshing.
Chris has momentarily disappeared when I was regaining my senses and
he pops up from behind a pool bar with two cans of soda.

"I figured you wouldn't want anything more than this before work, but I do
have almost anything here if you want it.  The basics anyhow,
scotch, gin, rum, vodka, beer." He mentions as a matter of fact.

After setting the cans on the side of the in-ground pool he takes a few
steps
back and then runs into a dolphin dive. As he rips into the water he
hardly makes a splash.  I'm impressed.  I figure he must be a great
swimmer so I ask him once he resurfaces, "So what are you, like an
Olympic swimmer or something?"

"No, I wish.  That was my goal, but I guess money can't make me good enough.
I made it to States, but didn't qualify for Nationals.  It's funny;
I was faster 2 years ago than the times I put up there.  That was in
January, and I haven't trained since then.  I guess it's the end of
the road for me.  I'll be watching the Olympics this summer from my
T.V. here unless I can get my parents to let me go to Oz." Chris
explained, but not with any sadness to his voice.

"You don't seem too upset." I comment.

He rationalizes, "Oh, I was.  But what can I do?  Third in the city,
thirteenth in the state, not even top 200 in the country.  I'm a
dreamer, but I'm not stupid.  The ride's over except for varsity.
I'll live."

I give him a quick hug, "Well I'm sorry all the same."

"Thanks, Sexy." Chris whispers in my ear as he pulls at the drawstring on
the
shorts I'm wearing.

I put a hand down on his to stop him but he's quick!  My shorts are below my
crotch in an instant and he dropping down in the water to slip them
down to my ankles.  I'm not going to win this one so while he's
fighting under water to get the shorts free I retie the drawstring
on the Speedo because I am softer and leaning slightly to the left
now.  It does feel a bit exhilarating, like when I go au natural in
my own pool late at night, and yet wearing a swimming jock and a
Speedo is unbelievably erotic to me too.  Even more so because they
have covered the crotch and ass of this hottie that has a thing for
me!

As he rises from the water I am greeted with his beaming smile.  I can't
help
it, I smile back despite myself.  Chris leans in and plants a
passionate kiss on my lips and then runs his tongue along my neck
line and up to my ear.  My woody is stiffening instantly.  I let out
a gasp.  Holy Shit!  I did not know that a guys tongue on my ear
could make my dick get this hard!  I start trembling in his arms.

Realizing that he is rather forward he apologizes, "Sorry, Sexy.  I just
wanted to get you more comfortable.  I'm never this bold, honestly.
Well, except for now with you I guess.  I just might never get
another chance at a god like you.  I'm probably scaring you off,
right?"

"No, but I wouldn't object to slowing things down a bit.  Otherwise were
going to be humping right here in your pool." I joke.

"Um, no.  Never tried it but I did try something alone in the hot tub once.
Not a good scene, take my word for it.  And my friend Gerry tried it
once at the aquatic center with his boyfriend Greg.  I'll just say
that he says only certain things should defy the one way rule and
water is not one of them.  It was totally clean but he says the
water made it hurt like hell!"

I stare blankly at him.  I mean sure I have a shall- we-say `healthy'
imagination, but I never thought of that.  Sex in the water?  Cool!
Yeah, my shock is obvious.

"There I go again, scaring you off." Chris worries.

I'm nervous so I ramble, "No, not really.  I mean this is too much, but I'm
not complaining.  It's kinda fun.  But how about we just talk for a
bit.  I'll be straightforward with you Chris.  I've only ever done
it three times.  That's it.  I did it twice and had it once.  And
all with one guy.  So I'm still new to all of this.  Even talking
about it really.  Daniel and I never talked about it much.  We just
did it and kinda avoided the awkward talk about it.  I hope that's
O.K. with you.  I'm probably no good and you are probably so good
that it won't be fair to you and you won't ever want to do it with
me again."

"Are we going to do it?" Chris asks in surprise.

"Isn't that what you want?" I ask.

"Well yeah, eventually.  Whenever you're ready Jon."

"Yeah right, you want it now.  I think I do too, and I don't want to chicken
out.  But you have to be real nice and stuff to me O.K.  Like I
said, I'm inexperienced and suck at it."

"You want to have sex right now?  With me?" His smile is a mile wide again.

Why is he making this so difficult?  My heart is pounding, I'm telling him
what I deeply desire but still feel uneasy with, and even more so
the courage to say so is about to run off on me.  I'm not going to
say it again!  If he doesn't get my offer then to hell with him!  I
want to get out of here right now, I want to have sex with him
despite myself and my cautions and he is being so incredibly dense.
What am I saying that he can't understand?  Am I talking is some
foreign language?  I put my hand down to his crotch and reach my
hand around his flaccid bulge.  It concerns me that I am hard as a
rock and he isn't.  Am I getting the wrong messages here?  Maybe he
really doesn't want to have sex with me after all.  Maybe he's
gotten my hints and decided that I'm not good enough or something.

I try a couple times to clear the lump in my throat, "Yeah with you, right
now if you want to.  I've wanted a dick in me ever since it first
happened.  Normally I'd deny this, especially to myself, but it's
true.  And you are so fucking beautiful I want to have you, I want
to have you get happy with your penis inside me."

"Well then why don't we get out and dry off and go to my room again?  Turn
the lights off and hold each other and maybe get comfortable with
each other so that we can do it.  Or maybe just do it if you want to
go right at it.  I don't want to talk anymore about it either or I'm
going to get scarred off too, but I want you to promise me that
we'll still talk after.  My last couple of boyfriends have
completely avoided me after they shot their loads in me and it hurts
so much that they just used me as a cum rag." Chris suggests.

"No, not just yet." I stall for a little time, "I mean yeah, I want to, but
well, can we go to your room and just talk for a bit?"

"Of course, yeah, sure," he acknowledges, then asks, "What time do you have
to be at work at?"

"4:30.  I'm the last one on today" I inform.

Referring to the Speedo I am down to he suggests, "Cool.  So we have some
time.  Why don't you do a lap first, though.  You said it feels
sexy, try and see how it feels to swim in it!"

Instead of saying anything I take off and head for the end and back.  It
does
feel real neat when I focus on the feeling.  Chris is behind me and
as I near the far end he spreads my legs and tickles my crotch.  He
does an underwater turn and pushes off the wall and is gone before I
can even really gain my senses and turn around to see where he was.
The pool has to be 20 yards long and he swims the whole length back
under water.  When he pops his head above the surface I start my way
back.  I loose track of where he is until nearing the edge I heel
his hand again on my crotch from below.  It startles me and I kick
wildly, hitting him somewhere.  He comes up laughing and chocking on
water.  Serves him right!  I mock slap him, calling him a jerk and
he ducks my swing.  Grabbing my outreached arm he twists me around
and pulls me towards him so that my dick is right in his cheeks.  He
softly moans as he wraps my arms around him and grinds his butt into
my crotch.  Arching his back he turns his neck and reaches to kiss
me.  I fumble, but angle my neck so that we can make out.  Releasing
my embrace Chris turns and we're now making out face to face.  His
fingers on his one hand are again roving down my stomach to my dick
as the other hand is on my back and slipping under the drawstring of
the Speedo and caressing one of my butt cheeks.  Well there goes the
knot I tied and down goes the Speedo.  Chris grabs one of the towels
from the edge of the pool and spreads it out on the edge.  Slipping
behind me he presses his hard Speedo clad penis into my exposed
butt.  His fingers briefly trace the leg straps of his jock that I'm
wearing before he picks me up in a bear hug and turns us 180 so that
I am facing the edge of the pool.  He is trying to put me down so
that I am half in, half out of the water.  He's not going to fuck me
here is?  He spreads my cheeks and kisses my bud.  Licking all over
the place from the back of the pouch to my bud and back he is
getting me intensely horny.  Unlike earlier in his room when his
fingers penetrated me and his tongue primarily worked my choda he
now focuses his tongue on my bud and for a few minutes goes to town.
I had rimmed Daniel a number of times but he was queasy about
returning the favour.  But damn!  I've scanned enough sites and chat
rooms that I know I am a quote-unquote bottom, or catcher.  I know I
love the feeling of being penetrated but I was not really ready for
the sensory overload that Chris's tongue is creating as his tongue
slips ever so minutely inside me.

I moan, "Oh Chris, that feels so awesome!  That feels so good, please stop!"

"Ever had that before?" he asks as he respects my request and backs off.

"No the closest I've ever had to that was one attempt from Daniel and then
from you just now, up in your room." I admit.

"What have you done, then?  You sure liked that.  Sounds like you were
neglected."

"Well, not a lot.  It's like I told you before.  As far as loving each
other,
I've taken it once, and gave it twice.  We did bj's more, and I
rimmed him a bit too.  Otherwise we usually just jerked off together
and sometimes each other."

"Oh, I'm sorry Jon.  You guys really did love each other, huh?  It wasn't
just the sex.  I'm jealous!"

Oh man, his body is stunning in that Speedo, glistening golden brown with
water beading up on him.  As we climb out of the pool I feel a
tingle in my balls and I visibly spasm as pre-cum dribbles out of
me.  Chris sees this and sucks at the pouch of the jock where I've
leaked through slightly.  I'm embarrassed as I hardly ever pre-cum.

As I towel down, trying to deflect the attention from me, I stammer, "O.K.
So then.  Well.  You kinda know my story.  What's you story?"

"I hardly know your story!" Chris says, equally trying to rebuff the
attention from him.

I object, "Yeah, right!  You know it all.  Me.  Closet case.  Daniel.
Hidden
love.  And now I'm reaching far out on a limb even being with you.
That's my story."

Chris starts telling me as we make our way back up to his room wrapped in
towels, "O.K.  Fine.  You want my story, here it is.  I'm a rich
kid, I went to private school until grade 9.  I had real friends
then, but I hated my last years there when the kids began to think I
was a fag.  Like it's hard to tell with me!  I'm rather obvious,
unfortunately.  So everybody knows.  That last year especially I got
teased all the time and made fun of.  I got asked why, and what it's
like from the ignorant.  From the mean kids I was always asked to
suck a guys cock or if my ass was sore and shit like that.  Even the
guys that I fooled around with would totally ignore me when we
weren't alone.  Even years before it was like that, that's why I got
into swimming rather than rowing.  No one wanted to row with me and
the instructor ignored me like I had the plague.  At least the
swimming instructor tolerated me.  She even encouraged me!  But my
last year there I felt so alienated.  So finally for Grade 10 I
convinced my parents to send me to a boarding school I'd read about
in New England.

Hmm.  Now let's see.  New England.  Who's the new homo with the faggy drawl?
Chris Milner!  Can I piss on your face Chris; you fags like shit
like that don't you?  Or how about; I just took a dump Chris, wanna
tongue-towel my ass for me?  Or even this one; excuse me, Sir?
Milner was looking at my crotch again and it makes me sick, Sir.
Can you send him away, Sir?  Yeah, that lasted until Christmas.  I
couldn't face it anymore so my parents agreed to let me just go to a
public school here.

It's funny.  I finally got accepted in public school.  For the first time in
years, by the end of grade 10 I had friends.  Guys and girls.
Again, I was rather obvious, even by that age.  So everyone knew but
it's like no one gave a shit.  Sure I got harassed a bit, but
nothing like I'd faced before.  Of course my love life stopped
because I was the known fag in the public school and therefore too
risky.  Yeah, next to no sex for me.

At least at private school or boarding school a guy could put it in me and
say it was some sick joke towards me if he got caught.  But they
never got caught, and I never told on them because they were my only
source of dignity that they actually wanted to fuck me.

I've had two boyfriends in my life and both are from my school now.  One was
out so that made things easy but the other wasn't.  But in the end I
was just a cum rag for both of them.

So while I want you badly Jon, if you are going to shoot in me and leave you
can just shoot my heart with a gun instead first.  I may be rich, I
may be gay.  I may be anything or everything people hate, but I have
a heart.  I feel, I love, I hurt, I cry.  I'm a real person too, and
I'll be damned if anyone ever takes advantage of me again."

Chris is calm and collected where I am nearly crying for him.  I reach to
hug
him and kiss him.  He places his head on my shoulders.  I whisper,
"I'm poor, I'm in the closet, but I feel, love, hurt and cry too.
And I think I might just love you Chris."

He lifts his head from my shoulder.  We hold the embrace, his head on my
shoulder and mine on his for a long moment before crashing sideways
on our sides.

"Jon.  I've never done it before.  I've never, you know, I've always, well,
I've always taken it up the ass." Chris concedes.

I relent, "Oh.  Well I guess if you wanted I could love you instead.  I was
just really hoping that you could love me."

Chris exclaims, "No.  I mean I'd love that too, have you in me, but this for
now.   I really actually want to try it.  For you.  I just want you
to know is all.  I don't want it to hurt for you."

Somewhat naive I ask, "You mean it doesn't always hurt?"

"Nuh uh!  Why the hell would anyone want it ever again if it always hurt?"
Chris admonishes me, adding, "I'll be real gentle.  I promise."

"I know you will.  You seem like that, you're a nice guy Chris." I manage to
say, while my heart is racing, my throat has a lump in it all over
again and my penis is pulsating into Chris's stomach.

He promises, "If you hurt, if it's uncomfortable just let me know, I'll back
off.  If you don't like something or just want to stop let me know.
I won't get offended and I won't keep going to get off like some
jerks."

I tentatively reach down and pull at the slipknot Chris has in the string of
his Speedo.  It comes undone with ease and I get nervous.  So
instead of slipping my hand under and going straight for the goods I
skip the towel off of him and then out from under him.  After Chris
returns the favour, he starts rubbing his hand up and down the
covered shaft of my fully erect 6" boner.  I cautiously do the same
and I am amazed that the Speedo is dry around his ass and only still
wet where the swimmer's jock is beneath it.  Man, does the Speedo
feel great, and I love the ribbed feeling of the jock over his
throbbing dick.  I watch as it gets harder and harder, going from a
curl in the fold of his right leg to a thick rod straining towards
his belly button.  I'm guessing it has to be bigger than me, at
least 6.5" and thicker.

Chris props my head up on a pillow and then raises my legs forwards, towards
my chest.  I start to protest but he tells me to relax and enjoy.
So I do.  I just let him lavish attention on me.  As his fingers
first rub the area below my sac, where the straps meet the pouch of
the jock I moan.  His touch is slow and gentle and makes my body
tingle all over.  His other hand is rubbing all over my stomach and
brushing my boner every so often.  He knows that the sensation is
driving me crazy so he backs off a bit and his fingers instead trace
their way down to my bud.  He comments that he loves the fact I am
conscious enough to shave down there.  What can I say?  If I ever
get the chance to get lucky, which is something like a 99.99%
improbability, I want to be ready!  I feel the wet warmth of his
mouth make contact with me again, and I instinctively wrap my arms
around my airborne legs.  I feel weird, the sensation is simply
amazing, but I also feel vulnerable and embarrassed that Chris has
his tongue on such a personal area of my body.  Shoving his dick in
there seems natural to me by comparison to the attention his mouth
is administering.  I can feel the heat back into my cheeks, I am
blushing bright red.  I can't quite make out the movements, but his
velvet smooth tongue is doing something unbelievable to me.  His
hands go to the backs of my knees and he does a pushup as he presses
my legs flat to the bed beside my body.  His face is still buried in
my butt but the change in my position has made me open up slightly
to his intruding tongue.  I gasp and my legs spring up slightly
despite his pressure on them and my arms restraining them.  Chris
snakes up my body, planting kisses from the waistband of the strap
right up to my neck.  I stab forward to kiss him but he instead
latches on to the side of my neck.  His talented tongue works my
neck from ear to ear and all along my collar bone.  He is straddled
around my legs and his erection is pressed in the space between mine
and my right leg, creating another mind blowing sensation as he
slightly rocks his torso forward and back.  Finally our lips find
each other.  Then he's off of me in a flash.  I roll my head to
follow him as he locks his door and flips the lights off.  The only
lights now are the glow from his aquarium, the outline of his blind
behind dark curtains and his clock reading 11:23.

I follow his silhouette as he stops at a dresser and fumbles for something,
until he returns to his bed.  I can see a smile on his face as he
stands over me and I smile back.  I reach for the pouch of his
Speedo so that I can feel his manhood.  I briefly get to feel him up
before he takes my hand and kisses my knuckles.  Chris pulls at the
sheets that are now rumpled and just beneath my hips, freeing them.
He slips into the bed beside me and pulls the sheets up to our
waists.

"Are you O.K. Jon," He whispers.

"Yeah, just fine!" I profess.

"Cool."

Yeah, cool.  I never thought I'd be doing this.  I never thought I'd move
on.
I never thought that I'd be with a guy like Chris based on his
mannerisms, let alone sleeping with him on our first date.

He places my hand back on his erection as he reaches in to kiss my neck and
ears again and then settles his lips onto mine.  Well, if he's
offering I'm taking him up on it.  I start to jack him off through
the Speedo.  His hand searches out my smaller boner and we break our
kiss as we start to mutually rub each others dicks.  Through the
pouch he begins to caress my sac.  We're at a stale mate for a bit
doing this until he undoes the drawstring of his Speedo and plants
my hand beneath it and his jock strap.  I wrap my hand around his
silky smooth penis and he shudders and moans.  I join him in the
expression as his hand traces my waist band and then breaches it.
Chris lifts his hips and I take the hint and try to slip the Speedo
down his body.  I fail miserably and we mutually laugh.  Chris
arches his back and puts his hands under his waistbands, and then
smoothly slips his Speedo and swimmers jock halfway down his thighs.
He lifts his legs so I slip the pair off of him.  Chris takes them
from my hand and folds them so that the seat of the Speedo is pushed
into the pouch of the jock and the front crotch area of itself and
wraps this around my hard on.  He uses this to jack me off briefly
but I warn him I am not going to last long.  I take the undergear
from him and start to return the favour.  He moans loudly and bucks
his hips a few times.  I feel good because I am bringing him
pleasure that I wasn't sure I could.  I'm beaming with a smile as
Chris gently turns me onto my front so that I am sprawled out in is
comfy bed.

He slips under the covers and resumes his attention to my bud.  He puts his
hands on the front blades of my hips and gently tugs up.  I get the
idea and scooch up slightly on my knees so that my butt is up in the
air.  At first it's just his mouth and then I can feel a finger
massaging my entry too.  I tense up for a bit but he is gentle and
doesn't try to force anything.  As he senses me relax a bit I feel a
finger slip in.  This hurts and I let out a yelp of pain and lunge
forward to the headboard of his bed.  He apologizes and offers to
just massage me with a bit of lube.  The pain recedes fairly quickly
so I agree.  At this point I am so horny I just want him in me, and
I swear on my life, if it doesn't hurt too much I won't complain.  I
have cum twice already this morning but my dick isn't raw from
friction burns yet so I am definitely good for a third.  Quickly his
lubed fingers are deftly massaging the area around my bud and behind
my sac.  Oh shit!  This feels great!  I prop my butt back up and
Chris returns his ministrations directly to my bud.  I don't stop or
dissuade him.  Sensing that I have loosened up again he gently
probes just inside me.  He's pushing in and out with just the first
digit of his finger, maybe even just part of the first digit, I
don't know.  He does this for a bit, and starts to kiss my back
hundreds of times up my spine to the back of my neck.  With no pain
I tell him to try the whole finger.  I mean hell, I can put some
crazy shit in there like the neck of a wine bottle, so his flexible
fingers should go with ease!  And poof!  Just like that his finger
is inside.  Quickly he slips in a second again, like he had before
we went down to the pool.  He tries to open a condom packet he
fished from beside the bed with his teeth unsuccessfully.  He just
tears off one corner and then another before it slips from his slick
fingers so he hands me the packet.  I open the packet and hand him
the condom.  I am incredibly nervous again, partly in anticipation,
partly in fear of what I am doing.

"You still O.K. Jon?" He again queries.

I'm beyond words right now, "Uh huh."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I grunt.

"O.K. Sexy.  Remember, just tell me to stop and I will."

I respond by folding up, with my knees more below me and my but an exposed
target for his dick.  He has to remove his fingers momentarily to
lube his dick and unroll the condom on it before lubing it up and
then adding more lube to my bud.  He squirts even more onto his
fingers and deftly works them back into my body.

"O.K." he whispers as he positions his legs around my hips.

My boner throbs up and slaps my stomach as I feel the tip of the condom and
then the head of his penis rub up and down the length of my crack.
He does this repeatedly as his fingers continue to massage my
insides.  He then rests his head on his fingers and pushes it
towards my hole.  He still has two fingers in me and is pushing
against my entry with his dick.  I am about to vehemently object as
I feel the fingers slowly slip out and get replaced with the very
tip of his penis.  Mmm, it shuts me up before I can speak just like
a soother in a baby's mouth.  He thrusts his hips a number of times
but does not try to actually penetrate me.  I am alternately gasping
and moaning.  I feel myself relax more.  Instantly he is inside me!
At least the head of him is.  Again he thrusts back and forth, not
actually pushing in any further.  Then he does push deeper, but not
far if I can judge well.  He again rocks back and forth slow and
easy not pushing in any harder.  At least it feels like he's not
going in further until I feel the flesh of his hips meeting the
flesh of my butt.  Holy Shit!  Is this really happening?  I know
ideally it's supposed to feel this good, trust me it does when I
control the object of intrusion, but still?  There has been like no
pain!  Once he's bottomed out in me he wraps me in a loving hug,
keeping his pelvis still.  He stays still so long I start to wiggle
so that I can feel him.  This gives him the green light I suppose.
Little by little he withdraws and penetrates, until to my best guess
he is long dicking me some of the time.

With the full length of him sliding in and out of me now I am about ready to
shoot so I tell him so, "Chris, I'm about there".

"Me to," he admits and withdraws and twists me, indicating I should turn
over
onto my back, "here, flip over."

I do as he suggests and draw my legs into my arms.  My body spasms as he
invades again.  Not a stab of pain, but I do clench down.  His
breathing has changed.  In no time at all Chris arches into a final
thrust and his body tenses up.  His body quivers as he lets go
inside me.  This is good.  Fuck that, this is great!  Once Chris
comes back down he stays inside me.  Finding my sports briefs
discarded earlier in the morning up by my head on the other pillow
he folds it over again and uses it as a sleeve to masturbate me
with.  That alone brings me close to climax, but it is even better
because he gently resumes thrusting into me, despite the slight
winces on his face.  I guess it must be too sensitive for him, but
he doesn't have to wait long as I suck back air and let loose.  I'm
wondering just how much experience he has at this as he withdraws
from me before I have finished.  I know myself that that can be the
most uncomfortable part, afterwards when there are no raging
hormones left to mask the departure.  But he leaves me while I am
still in the throwes of ecstasy.  We kiss momentarily.

I don't know what time it is that I fall asleep at, it must have been right
after we finished.  It's just past 1:30 when I stir again.  I'm
naked still, but covered in Chris's black silk sheet and light
blanket that feels like velvet.  He's on his side, head propped up
on his hand and looking into my eyes when I focus.  His smile is
heart melting.  I smile back and snuggle up to him.  I've dosed off
again with his arm around me.  It's now almost 3:00 when he gently
shakes me awake to let me know I better start thinking about getting
up.

"Sorry about passing out on you there, Babe," I apologize.

He answers, "It's O.K. Sexy.  I enjoyed sleeping with you."

I inquire, "Did you sleep then too?"

Sheepishly he relates, "Mmm, no.  But I got to watch you.  You're beautiful
Jon, I hope you don't mind.  Now I feel like a prev or something."

"Why?  We just had sex.  That's all there is to us.  Looking at me doesn't
come close to a tenth as socially wrong as that." I say, hoping to
buoy his confidence and assuade his guilt.  Honestly though, it does
make me feel weird that he was staring at me for a few hours as I
slept.

"Thanks, now I don't feel like a dirty old perv, I just feel like a faggot,"
He laughs.

I didn't realize what I said could be taken wrong, but well, there it is.  I
decide to keep my big yap shut.

He continues, "Oh well.  It's what we are.  We like boys.  What can we do?"

Still, I hold my tongue.

Chris goes off, not in a mean way, more in a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve
kinda way, "I guess we should all just deny it, and marry a girl and
give her and ourselves a miserable life?  Maybe bring kids into the
loveless lie too?  Or maybe we're supposed hide in a closet for all
of our lives and not act on it at all?  Or we can just deal with it
someday and move on.  Like us.  Thank you, Jon.  I know you're not
out, but you have used the word `yet' after saying that.  I can live
with that.  Plus you're just too damn sexy to not want!"

"Thanks, Chris.  You give a guy hope," I concede before planting a
passionate
kiss on him.



*       **    *    *

Dear Journal:

So I've lied to both of us Journal.  I'm sorry.  I guess to be honest I
didn't see the events of today happening.  Not the way they did
anyway.  I mean in my fantasy land I might have foreseen hot
passionate sex with Chris, but in the real world I didn't think we'd
move that quick.  I had a feeling he was up for it and wanted it,
but I thought for sure I wasn't and didn't want it.  If anything I
think things might have been just the opposite.  Chris assured me it
wasn't his goal; that I am not a conquest that he wanted to bed and
that's it.  With Chris being rich I've kind of worried that I would
have been the object of his Cruel Intentions just like the movie,
and I'm not fully convinced otherwise, but then what could he have
to gain?

We made out for a bit longer in his bed before having a shower.  We showered
separately because we are both still body shy even though we both
look pretty O.K.  Chris had his first and then I had mine.  After
drying off I wrapped the fluffy towel around my waist and found
Chris making his bed.  I had to send him down to his Jeep to get my
bag so that I could get dressed in my work uniform.  An obviously
embarrassing moment occurs when I realized that even though it was
my third time today I'd still pumped enough into my 2xist that I
couldn't possibly wear them.  It's like we were in sync, Chris
handed me a grey 2xist thong.  I looked at it and then him, and he
responded that he's gay after all, and they probably don't make that
underwear for straight guys so why not enjoy it.  He added that he
figured I like the label and it's his sexy underwear so why not put
it on his sexy boyfriend.  Going around work with that on drove me
insane this afternoon!

At 4:00 we headed to his Jeep and he took me to work.  In the back parking
lot behind another restaurant we dared to kiss goodbye.  As I got
out of the Jeep I realized my fears.  I swore no one was around or
else I would have not risked it but Emily, an older server at my
restaurant was just sneaking around the corner for a smoke at the
exact moment.  I walked by her red faced, and she grabbed me by my
shirt sleeve.  We agreed that it was bad timing and she told me that
it was just as awkward for her as for me.  She then jokingly said
that he's a cutie and if she didn't have kids already half our age
she'd go for him.  Being the adult she made sure I was O.K. and then
promised not to say anything as long as I promised not to rat her
out for sneaking out for a forbidden smoke break.

When I got into work it was packed so they had me start fifteen minutes
early
for my shift.  I was so busy because we were down a busser that I
had no time to dawdle or think about the morning.  It was 10:00 and
I was finishing my closing duties when someone rang the front
doorbell of the restaurant.  I pretended not to notice it because I
didn't want to get delayed and hey, I wanted to finish up, get home,
and go to bed!  Rhonda, my manager found me hiding at the cutlery
polishing station and told me that there was someone here to pick me
up out front and she had told him I was just about done.  I was
kinda mad at Chris that he was being so forward, but I didn't want
people seeing him wait for me so I rushed the last bunch of cutlery
rolls and signed out.  There were too many people waiting for the
staff washroom/change room and I was not going to risk changing in
the Dry Storage area with only a piece of string between my legs so
I just changed my shoes and shirt in the back hallway, grabbed my
bag and left through the back door.

When I got around front I couldn't spot Chris's Jeep.  I was getting pissed
off and swearing when Larry put a hand on my shoulder from behind.
He scarred the bejezus out of me and I jumped.  I guess in my quiet
verbal tirade on Chris who wasn't even there I missed him calling my
name a few times.  Larry told me he had come to pick me up because
there were some things he thought I might want to talk about with
him, if I felt so inclined.  He suggested that he wouldn't pry, and
again reassured me that he wasn't ever going to try to assume a
fatherly role for me.  He said I am old enough to be my own man, but
he would like to be my friend.  I really do kinda like him, he is
great for my Mom and he was really cool with Daniel and me so I
believe him.  He has never told me what to do in my house or even
invaded my territory in any way either so he gets bonus points there
too.

So I asked what was on his mind instead.  He started off by saying that my
Mom has her suspicions about me but he has never betrayed me.  Well
there's a revelation I didn't see coming.  So I just slump into the
passenger seat of his truck and tell him the pertinent details about
Chris.  Shit like how we met and where he goes to school, not
anything personal or even who he is.  Larry told me he figured that
there was another boy on the horizon based on my phone mannerisms
earlier in the week.  Apparently my Mom said to him that she hopes
it's finally a girlfriend that can make me happy, or else at least a
`someone' that makes me happy.  Yeah, my heart was a lump in my
throat.  Larry figured that she was fishing to see if he might be
homophobic, and he told me that he let her know about his own son's
sexuality.  Wow, mind overload at that point!  So I didn't say
anything to him.  He again assured me that he never let on what he
knows about me but he didn't acknowledge her doubts either, so she
could think what she thinks on her own.  He related that it is sorta
hard for him to keep his promise to me first when it means
pretending to my Mom about it.

I couldn't see where things were going, like was he going to ask m
permission
to marry my Mom or what?  No, instead he said that he talked her
into letting me have the privacy a growing man needs and convinced
her that I need a cell phone to deal with my private affairs.  She
agreed, but asked in return that he use his role as a health teacher
and my respect for him to caution me against unprotected sex if I
decide to become sexually active, if I am not already.  He never
gave me the lecture, he just left it at that and handed me a box and
some papers.  The papers were a contract for a Cingular phone in my
name but with his signature on it.  The phone itself is a cool flip
phone, and he got me a $25 pay as you go card for it.  He never said
anything like he's not trying to buy me off, or anything like that,
he just said I am a level headed guy and to use my good judgment
with it.

The last thing he said as he dropped me off at home was to make sure I'm not
late for school in the morning.

*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

So  there  it is, a little quicker than the last one.   I've
got some ideas in mind, but like to know what you think.  As
always,  please read of your own free will, and  direct  any
positive   comments,  constructive  criticism   or   general
feedback to: mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com.
Thanks!        ~Jake