Date: Thu, 9 Apr 2015 04:44:03 -0400
From: JAMES HEADY <vector18@msn.com>
Subject: A Deep Love--Book 2--Chapter 11

a Deep Love
By
James

Disclaimer

This story deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between
teenaged males.  If you're not of the legal age to read such material, or
if such material offends you, then please find something else to read.
Also remember to send Nifty donations, as this is what keeps these stories
free to the public.

A Deep Love:  Book 2
Chapter 11

Michael

The doorbell rang at 4:50 P.M. and I went to get it.  I asked for
identification and Cathy identified herself, then another voice spoke.  I
could tell it was a male voice, but it was a little harder to understand,
but I figured I knew who it was.

"I'm Chase," the voice said.

"Hi Chase," I said through the box.  "I'll open the door now if you're
ready to come in."

"Okay," he said.

I opened the door and saw Cathy and Chase standing there.  The sun was
still high in the sky, but I knew that sunset was soon to be upon us.  I
observed them for a moment and took in Chase's features.

He looked like his picture on the front of the file folder in which his
information was held.  I also saw that look of both emotional and physical
pain on his face, then I looked down and saw that his left leg was
stiffened and twitching.  He looked back at me and while he didn't have the
hateful look that Noah did, he definitely didn't look like he was calm at
all.  He mainly looked like he was in pain, but also like he was scared.  I
thought that at least he didn't have that manner about him like he was
ready to start kicking people around or destroying the place.

"Hi Chase," I said.  "I'm Michael."

"Hi Michael," he said.  I noticed the slight slurring of his speech and I
also noticed for the first time the drooping of the left side of his face.
His mouth was unmoving on the left side, but only on the corner and the
rest was turned up in a half-smile which showed white teeth and I was
thinking that at least he wouldn't have to worry about dental problems.
"Would you like to come in now?"

"Yeah," he replied.

We all three came in to the house and I closed, then locked the door.  I
walked with him to his room and after Cathy handed me a couple of papers
with information about the drive up to the house and saying goodbye to
Chase, she left to check in with my dad and the security group as we began
calling them.  This left me alone with Chase.

He stood there with the backs of his legs against the edge of the bed which
had him facing the opposite wall where there was a chair, just like in
Noah's room.  I stood there waiting to see if Chase would speak, then he
did.

"I was wondering if there was anything to drink," he said, and that's when
I noticed that he was sweating, not heavily, but enough for me to see that
the front of his shirt was slightly darkened.

"Yeah, there's soda, water and milk," I said.  "What would you like?"

"I was wondering if there was any water," he said.

"Yeah, would you like me to show you where it is?" I asked.  "I can also
get it for you since you look kind of tired."

"I don't think I can walk another step," he said.  "You know about my
condition don't you?  Cathy said you have a file with my information inside
of it."

"That's correct," I said.  "I just wanted to give you the choice rather
than just going and making it for you and getting it before you said what
you wanted to do."

"Thank you," he said.  "Not many people think of that when it comes to
dealing with me."

"Well, several of the boys and my best friend have disabilities of varying
degrees, so I understand a bit about it."

"If you want, you can call him your boyfriend," Chase said.

"I don't understand," I said.

"You called him your best friend, but the information about this place said
that it's you and your boyfriend who run this house."

"You're right," I said.  "Sometimes I fall back in to the habit of being
closeted."

"You don't have to worry about that around me," he said.

"Thanks," I said.  "I'll go get that drink for you."

"Thanks," he answered.

"You're welcome," I replied, then left the room to get his water.

The other reason I used another name for Josh rather than boyfriend was
mainly due to the experience I had with Noah earlier that afternoon.  There
was security around and I could have defended myself had Noah tried
anything, but that whole event did bring back old fears about what might
happen if the wrong kids or the wrong adults found out about not only that
I was gay, but if they knew about Josh as well.  I then told myself to get
back in to the frame of mind of being the man of the house, and that seemed
to work.  I got the water, and returned to Chase's room.  He was laying on
the bed and he was bending his left leg back and forth and I could tell
that he was trying to get it to stop bothering him.

"I can try to massage that for you if you want," I said.

"You don't mind?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Thank you," he responded.

I came over to him and I saw that his shoes and socks were on the floor
next to the bedside table.  I sat down on the end of the bed and positioned
myself in front of his legs.  I took his left foot in my hands and was
disturbed at how stiff and tight it was.  I was thinking that it had to be
painful.  As if reading my mind, Chase spoke.

"It hurts every day.  It really never stops, even with all of the crap that
the doctors give me."

"So it's only muscle relaxants that you take?"

"Yeah," he said.  "They might as well be damn sugar pills for all the good
they do me."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.

"Thanks," he said.

I began to push in with my fingers and thumbs and I did this from his ankle
down to the middle of his foot, then down to his toes which were curled
downwards and tight.  It seemed to be working a little, but I was going to
have the resident doctor start looking for other treatments.  I saw no
since in keeping him on meds that weren't working.  It was probably some
fucking doctor who was brought around the foster care system who didn't
give a damn, and over the next few days, Chase would confirm my suspicions.

"How does that feel?" I asked.

"Good," he said.  After I finished, I saw that he was falling asleep.

"I can let you sleep if you want," I said.  "Dinner won't be until 6:00
tonight."

"I'd like that," he said.

"Okay," I answered.  "I'll go so you can rest."

"Thanks Michael," he said.  "Oh, one more thing."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Thank you for talking to me like I'm actually a person, that means a lot,"
he said.

"It's no problem at all," I said.  "I'm here to help you in any way I can.
You are a person and you deserve nothing less than to be treated like one."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said.  "I'll see you later."

"Okay," I answered as I went to the door.  "I'll see you later."

I then closed the door and went to Noah's room to check on him.  He was
laying on his side still turned to the outside of the bed facing the
bedside table and the opposite wall.  I looked at him intently for the
first time and took in all of him, from his soft face, to his auburn hair,
to his closed eyes and his arms which were held tight around himself.  His
legs were tucked up with his feet up against the backs of his thighs.  It
didn't look like a comfortable sleeping position.  I went over to him and
without thinking, placed a hand on his shoulder.  He jerked upright and
swung at me just barely missing my head.

"No! get away from me!" he screamed.  I grabbed his hands and held them.

"Noah, it's me," I said.  "It's Michael!"

He began to focus his eyes and he focused on me and looked at my hands
which were holding his.

"You said that you wouldn't try anything!" he yelled getting more scared
now.

"Noah, it's okay," I said easing my grip on his hands.  "I was just
checking on you.  It's been almost an hour since I saw you and I just
wanted to make sure that you're alright."

"You promise that you weren't trying anything?" he asked with some of that
egression, but not as much as before.

"I promise," I said.

"I believe you," he said laying back down after I let go of his hands.  "It
just scared me, that's all."

"I could tell," I said.  "Maybe next time I can just try calling your
name."

"I'd like that," he said.  "Is it almost dinner time or something?"

"No," I said.  "We don't usually eat until 6:00 and since the new kid came
and is just getting checked in and now that he's resting, we'll probably be
eating a bit later than that and it'll probably be some sort of takeout.
Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," he said.  "I don't mind it."

"Okay," I said.  "So how are you doing?  Did you get any sleep?"

"A little," he said.

I described his sleeping position to him and he smiled a little.

"That's what happens when you go in and out of jail," he said.  "You learn
to be defensive, even in your sleep."

"I know that it doesn't seem like it right now," I began.  "But you can
sleep in a more comfortable position while you're here.  I don't know what
you had to deal with in jail, but whatever it was, it won't happen here."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome," I responded.  "Do you want me to let you get back to
sleep?"

"Yeah," he said.  "I'll get up in maybe 20 or 30 minutes if you don't
mind."

"I don't mind at all," I said, then went to go back out of his room, but he
stopped me.

"Michael?" he said softly.

"Yeah? What is it Noah?" I asked walking back to the side of his bed and
facing him.

"I wanted to ask you a question, and I don't want you to think that I'm
trying to be an asshole to you," he said.

"Okay," I said.  "What's your question?"

He looked at me intently for a moment, then held out his hand for me to
take.

"I was wondering how a guy knows if he's gay or not," he said beginning to
get scared.

"I see," I said.  "I wasn't expecting that question."

"I don't mean to make you feel weird or anything," he said.  "I can
understand not feeling comfortable talking with me about this, since I was
a jerk to you when I got here a little while ago."

"Don't worry about it," I said.  "It's just not an easy question to
answer."

"Can you at least tell me how you knew that you were?" he asked.

I was thinking how awestruck I was, as it was taking me back several years
which felt like they were decades ago.  I remembered when my mom asked me
one night at dinner when I was 13 if I saw any girls in my class that I
liked, and I immediately started crying and she came from around the table
and held me.  We had just sat down and she was getting the serving plates
of food on the table when she asked me that.

She had apologized and asked if I was having trouble meeting girls and I
said through my tears that it wasn't girls that I was attracted to, and
that I knew for a while that I was gay.  I began crying harder and she just
held me telling me that everything would be alright.

After it was over and all of my crying was finished, she told me that she
still loved me, and even more so and that that would never change.  >From
then on, our relationship had been closer than ever before.

I then decided to give Noah an answer that wouldn't get too in to the
sexual aspects, because I knew that as fragile as he was, he didn't need
that right now.

"Well," I began.  "You know how when you look at a girl that you like and
you get that feeling like you get a fluttering in the pit of your stomach
and you feel nervous and happy at the same time?"

"I guess," he said and turned his head from me, not looking at me.

"It's like that," I said.

I knew that something more was bothering him, but I didn't want to push.

"Thanks," he said.  "I want to rest a bit more."

"Okay," I said.  "I'll go now."

"Thanks for everything Michael," he said and turned on his stomach and his
arms and legs were now relaxed on the bed.

"You're welcome, Noah," I said, then went to the door and closed it and
left to go back to Chase's room.

0000

Noah lay on his stomach trying to keep his trembling under control.  He
wondered for the millionth time what was happening to him.  He always had
those feelings that Michael described, but they were never for girls and
that scared him.  He also remembered when his dad gave him his own views on
homosexuality when Noah was only 8 years old and about how he would kill
Noah if he ever found out that he was gay.  Noah never forgot this and he
tried to be straight, going so far as to have sex with several girls who
were careless enough to do it with him at his high school, but he had to
think of a guy in order to make himself come.  He was just glad that he had
enough sense to use a condom with all of the girls, but it wasn't always
vaginal sex, but mainly oral sex which was no better, but it was when he
had vaginal penetration with girls that made him the most sick, both
physically and emotionally.

He began having sexual feelings for other boys when he was 12 and the
feelings were even worse when he masturbated, when he learned to do it
anyway.  He would always sob uncontrollably after each orgasm and pray as
hard as he could for God to keep him from feeling these feelings, then
after the feelings got stronger and stronger, that's when he began beating
up people who he assumed were gay which started when he turned 13.  This
helped, but only momentarily, then his feelings would return, and that's
when he started secretly collecting pornographic pictures of naked male
models which his father found one day just before he turned 14.

His father beat and raped him that first time when he first found them and
it wasn't anal rape, but his father would force Noah to suck him and he
would always let his semen go not in Noah's mouth, but all over his face
which sickened Noah to no end.  Then a couple of weeks before he turned 15,
his dad told him to suck him again; this was just after Noah got home from
school.  Noah was bigger now and with all of the working out he did, he was
stronger, even more so than his father who when he wasn't working, just sat
around knocking back whisky most of the evening.  When he saw his dad with
his penis hanging out of his pants, he saw red.  He tackled his father to
the ground and didn't stop beating him until his dad was sobbing and said
that he would never do stuff like that with him again.  Noah then took a
steak knife and held it in front of his dad's eyes so he could see it and
he told him that if he tried it again, he would cut off his cock and shove
it down his throat.  His dad saw from the look in Noah's eyes that he
wasn't joking.

0000

Michael

I finished helping Chase put away the small collection of clothes he had
and I saw that he had only one toothbrush that didn't look very clean along
with some meds that he told me were for his leg.  I had the doctor come and
collect them, then I sat down beside Chase on the bed.

"We'll take you shopping tomorrow for new clothes and whatever else you
need," I said holding my hand out to the side.  He took it and leaned in
close.  I let go of his hand and put my arm around him and he snuggled in
closer.  He rested his head against my shoulder and we just sat like that
for a few minutes.

"I wanted to thank you again for taking me in," Chase said looking up at
me.

"You're welcome," I said.  "We're happy to have you here and this can be
your home for as long as you want it to be."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said.  He then surprised me by giving
me a kiss on the cheek.  I must have jumped a little, because he pulled
away looking at me fearfully.

"I'm sorry," he said close to tears.  "I'm not trying to come between you
and Josh, I just wanted'''"

I cut him off by kissing him back on the cheek and taking him in my arms.
I held him and his shaking soon subsided.

"Don't worry," I said.  "I understand what you wanted and I'm fine with it,
so will Josh.  I then heard the door close softly and I turned in surprise.
Josh was standing by the closed door and he came further in to the room and
sat down beside Chase so he was now between both of us.

"He's right," Josh said hugging Chase and giving him a kiss on his other
cheek.  "I'm not the controlling type, and I'm glad my soon-to-be husband
is comfortable showing his affections to others."

"I'm glad you guys understand," Chase said.  "So you're Josh."

"Yeah," Josh replied.  "I'm guessing that Michael told you what I look
like."

"Yeah," he said.  "He did."

"It's nice to meet you Chase," he said and hugged him again.

"It's nice to meet you too," Chase answered and hugged him back.

I heard the door opening and close and I heard the locks being engaged, and
looking at the clock I saw that it was almost dinner time and that dad
would be coming back soon, if that wasn't already him.

I went out and sure enough, it was my dad with several takeout bags in his
arms.  I took a few from him and he thanked me.  We took them to the
counter in the kitchen and sat all of them down.

"It all smells good," I said and hugged my dad.

"Thanks," he said.  "I hope you guys are happy with what I decided to get."

"It smells like Chinese Food," I said.

"That's what it is," he said.

"I hope you have something fiery and spicy in one of those bags," I began.
"I could really use the flame right now."

I must have had a look come over my face at that moment, because my dad put
an arm around my shoulders.

"Do you need one of us adults to take over some of the counseling?" he
asked.

"No, I don't think so," I said.  "Some of it's just a little harder than
what I thought it would be."

"I understand," he said.

"I read Noah and Chase's files and I just feel bad for both of them," I
said and let my dad take me in his arms.  "Yes, Noah is considered a
gaybasher for good reason, but he didn't deserve to be thrown out by
society."

"I agree," my dad said holding me.  We stood like that for a few minutes,
then we ended the hug and I saw Noah standing in the doorway of the kitchen
looking at us.  He had a bit of that hardness in his eyes, but not as much
as there had been.  He walked over to us and looked at me, then gave my dad
a look part of hostility and part of fear.

"It's okay," my dad said holding out a hand to him.  He quickly came to my
side and put his hands deep in the pockets of his pants.  I began to get
worried that he had a weapon hidden in there, even though he had been
searched in the van before the guards let him out to come in to the house
earlier that afternoon, but I was still bothered.

"Noah, I need to ask you to take your hands out of your pockets," I said as
kindly as I could.  He gave me an apprehensive look and did as I asked.

"You don't have to take my hand if you don't want to," my dad said to him.
"I just wanted to introduce myself though."

"Well, you already know my name," Noah said looking down at the floor.

"I'm Andrew," my dad said.

"Thanks for letting me know," Noah said and moved even closer to me.

"I'll get the food laid out," I said.

"Okay," my dad said.  "I'll be in the guard building if you need me."  He
and I hugged again, then he was gone.

I came back to stand beside Noah who still was looking down at the floor
and he had his hands tightened in to fists at his sides.  I looked at him
and I wondered if I really could reach him when it came down to doing what
needed to be done to help him.

I then set to getting the bags of food unloaded on to the counter and I
asked Noah if he wouldn't mind helping me.  He agreed and he was now
standing beside me and he had a few bags that he was unloading along with
me doing the same.  Once it was done, he and I just stood there regarding
one another.  He was looking at me and then he looked away for a moment,
then returned his eyes to mine.

"Noah?" I asked.

"Did you really mean what you said a few minutes ago when you and your
father were talking about me?" he asked.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked.

"All of it," he said.

"Yes," I said adamantly.  "I do, every word."

"Thanks," Noah said, then reached for me.  I stood there with the larger
boy hugging me and I hugged back, and for a moment, I forgot that he was a
hardened criminal and a gay bashing bully, but that side of him was slowly
being chipped away, or so I hoped.

Everyone was seated at the table and the food was being passed around.
Ryan sat on my left while Josh sat on my right.  Bengy was at the end of
the table on Josh's right and Patrick was sitting across from Bengy.  Noah
and Chase sat beside each other across from Josh and I with Noah across
from Josh and Chase directly across from me.  They had introduced
themselves to each other once they sat down when everyone was sitting down
to the table.  They both were the first to walk in to the dining room while
Josh and I were already seated with the food out on the table.  The rest of
the kids and my brothers were on my left on my side and the opposite side
of the table.

As the dinner progressed, I saw that Noah and Chase were getting along
well, even though some of the comradery seemed a bit forced, but I hoped
that with time and if they both to a full extent used the tools and skills
I was prepared to introduce to them, that they would become actual friends
to one another.  They were both engaged in a discussion about the Symphonic
Metal group called Nightwish and the subject of the discussion seemed to be
centering around if the earlier sound of the group was better than the new
sound.  They both agreed that they liked both the old and the new.  They
both enjoyed the vocals, but were glad that the group settled on a fixed
male singer as opposed to when the leader of the group sang on only one
song and the verse of another song both of which were on the first album
they put out back in 1997.

"What do you think of Lady Gaga?" Chase asked Noah, and Noah looked at him
with both amusement and disgust on his face, then he gave him a wide smile.

"Chase," he said with laughter and an indignant tone in his voice.  "Did
you actually ask me that?"

"Yeah," Chase said back smiling.

"I can give you my thoughts," Noah began.  "It won't be pretty though, but
I'll say it without any cussing, it would cause Michael to have a stroke,
and we wouldn't want that."

"I wouldn't have a stroke I said with a smile on my face.

"Well, we have to keep the cute boy happy," Noah said looking at Chase, but
turning to me long enough so I could see the smirk on his lips.

"I guess I see what kind of sense of humor you have," I said.

"Yes," he said.  "I guess you do.  Anyway, getting back to the actual
topic.  Top40 music is nothing more than the musical equivalent of that
frozen crap in a grocery store that you take home and heat in the
microwave.  It's about as useful and valuable as the waste collecting and
fermenting in a chamberpot filled to the brim."

I listened and looked at him and was repulsed at his wording, but I didn't
feel the need to tell him to stop or rephrase what he had said.  Chase
looked at him and the only look I could see in his eyes was adoration and
something akin to hero-worship.

"Finally!" Chase said with absolute joy in his voice.  "Someone who
actually says what they think!  I think you and I will get along just
fine!"

"Think so huh?" Noah said looking at him.

"Yeah," Chase said.

"Yeah, okay," Noah said holding out his hand.  "I'll give you a trial run."
They shook hands and I saw a look pass between them, and Noah quickly
looked down at his plate, but not before I saw what was in his eyes.  He
was attracted to Chase, it couldn't have been anything else.

"Interesting choice of words," Chase said still looking at Noah.  "Didn't
know that I was a product."

Noah raised his head and looked at Chase again and smiled back at him.  I
watched the two of them with the smile they shared and I saw Noah fighting
to keep his eyes on Chase and not look away again.

"You don't think we all are just products?" Noah asked.  "We have different
functions as a bit of a more complex machine and we're born, live for a
bit, then we die and we return to the ground with the help of people at a
funeral home."

"That's kind of a sad view of life," Josh said.

"Why?" Noah asked looking at him.  "We live for a short time, and we have
our assigned place in life, some people are allowed to do whatever they
want, and others are just destined to be trapped by rules and enslaved to
whatever their place in life is.  It's the masters, and the enslaved in
life, and that's just the way it is."

I was bothered by that philosophy and it's nothing less than what
Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment believed, or at least that's what he
told himself to justify to himself the murder he committed.

"That's a sad view of life," I said.  "Don't you think?"

"It seems right to me," Noah said.  "Anyway, my point is that I'll try
getting to know you Chase; that's all I can promise."

"Okay, fair enough," Chase said.

Later that night after everyone had said good night to Josh and I and went
off to bed, Josh and I went to our room.  I really needed him both
romantically and sexually that evening.  I could tell that he felt the same
way, because just a second after I closed and locked the door, He had his
arms wrapped tightly around me and his lips were pressed hard against mine.
I was kissing him back with equal hunger and I was consumed with need for
him to make love to me.

"I need you more than anything in this world, I said once I broke the kiss.
"I need you to make love to me with everything you have tonight!"

We were helping each other off with our clothes by this time and once
completely naked, I pressed myself against him as he grabbed and hugged me
tighter than he had before.  When our skin made contact, I felt a larger
electrical jolt shoot through my body.  That's how it was when our naked
bodies touched since the very first time we made love, but it was stronger
that night.  I moaned loudly as I felt the current pass through me and Josh
moaned back as our lips made contact again and we kissed with a need that
was almost animalistic.

Our tongues were now moving against one another and it was causing the
electric feelings to run through my body, from my head, to my toes then in
to my balls and cock which were on fire and burning hotter than anything I
had experienced up to that point.  Josh then took his arms from around me
and pushed me hard back on to the bed and then fell on top of me and hugged
me as tightly as he had when we were standing a moment before.  We were
grinding our hard cocks against one another and thrusting against one
another so hard that I could hear our flesh slapping together and that got
me even hotter.  I didn't want Josh to stop and he must have read my mind,
because he went faster and faster and I did the same, raising my hips up to
meet his thrusts.

The orgasm was building and I was powerless to stop it.  My cock stiffened
harder and my balls were a tight flame of fire and tingling between my
legs.

0000

Josh was consumed by his approaching orgasm that was slowly but surely
overtaking him.  His cock was a fiery-hot bar of flesh between his legs and
his balls were a large and tight lump of fire and heat between his legs.
He knew that Michael felt the same way and he pushed against him harder and
harder and he was thinking that nothing could be better than this, nothing
at all!

0000

Michael

My orgasm hit like the force of a truck, just like the last time that I
topped for Josh and I broke our liplock and screamed his name loudly as my
cum began blasting out of my cock.  Josh moaned loudly and pressed his
forehead to mine and moaned and yelled out his joy as he came along with
me.  It was the best ever!

Once it was over, we fed each other our cum and lay there softly kissing
and caressing each other's bodies.  Josh then looked at me after we
exchanged another kiss.

"I'm not done with you yet," he said softly, then kissed me deeply again.
"I'm still going to top you tonight after we rest up a bit more."

"You don't know how badly I need that!" I said and kissed him just as
deeply back.

After a few more minutes of resting, he removed himself from my arms and
stood up facing the bedside table.  He got out of it the KY and handed it
to me.  He then lay back down on his side facing me.

"Put that on my cock right now," he ordered.

"Yes my love," I said in submission.  "Anything you want, I'll do for you."

"I'm glad to hear you say that boy," he said as he leaned his face closer
to mine and kissed me hungrily.  His authoritative tone was making me hot
again as it always did and his passion was so contagious.

I did as he told me to do, then he took back the bottle and put a good
amount of the KY in the palm of his hand.

"I want your ass in the air now," he said in my ear.

"Yes anything for you my lover!" I said as I felt the blood rising to my
face and flushing it, turning it a deep red.  Josh got the lube on his
index finger and began opening me up.

"Fuck that's amazing!" I grunted when I felt his lubed finger push in to my
hole.  He was in up to the base of his finger now and I told him to add a
second one which he did.  I was in absolute heaven now and I knew that I
was going to explode and hard that night.  Josh was now alternating between
pressing and easing up on my prostate which was really driving me crazy.

"Oh Josh!" I yelled loudly.  "Fuck, that's so good!"

"It's only going to get better," he said and began taking the top part of
my ear in to his mouth and nibbling and sucking on it.  This always made me
crazy with lust and he knew it.  It seemed that night, that he was
hell-bent on pushing me to the brink of what I could stand and he was
proving me right.  As he used his mouth on my ears, his fingers were still
stimulating my prostate and his other hand was alternating between pinching
and twisting my nipples, then he would stop with that and go down and begin
squeezing and rubbing my balls, then removing his hand and then stroking my
cock.  I wasn't sure if he was going to stop then begin pushing his cock in
my hole, but I didn't have long to wonder.

"I'm not going to stop doing this until you come," he hissed in my ear.
"Once you come, I'll slowly push my cock in your hole and I'll fuck you
harder than I ever have before.  Oh, I'm so fucking hot and hungry for you
tonight!"

"Me too!" I said as he began stroking me again.  "Oh you sweet lover, this
is so good!"

His mouth was now all over the backs of my shoulders and he was licking
them, kissing them and gently bighting and sucking on them, then he was
moving back to my nipples with his hands and rubbing them with his fingers
and pinching them harder now.

"Turn over on your back right now boy!" he said and didn't wait for me to
do it, he grabbed me in his arms and flipped me on my back and I fell back
hard on the bed and he was instantly on me grinding his body against mine
and his lips against mine, then he broke the kiss.

"I need to get a wet cloth to wipe us off, because I need my cock in your
mouth right now!"  He said this and went to get one, then he was back and
cleaning the lube off my lower stomach and off his cock.  Once finished, he
moved so that he was on his knees in front of my face with his butt lightly
resting above my chest.  His cock was close to my lips and his hand
entwined in my hair and he grabbed my head and pulled it to his straining
cock.

"Do it boy!" he said sharply.  "Suck me now!"

"Yes my beautiful lover," I said.  "Anything you desire!"

I don't remember being this hot and horny, not even when I began jacking
off when I became a teenager, but this was hotter and deeper than anything
I had ever known before.  I felt Josh pushing his cock in to my mouth and I
allowed my mouth and throat to relax so I could take him.  I knew what he
wanted to do and soon enough, he was fucking my mouth and allowing the head
of his cock to penetrate the back of my throat and he was doing this harder
and harder and I saw in his eyes love, lust and a look that said that I was
his and he was owning and taking control of me.

"That's it babe, keep that mouth submissive and opened for me!" he yelled.
"Yeah, that's a good little cock sucker!  Yeah, suck that fucking cock
right now!  Keep it the fuck up!!"

He had stopped fucking my mouth and I was moving my head back and forth
sucking and swirling my tongue all over the head of his cock.  I was even
more turned on when he called me a good little cock sucker and how out of
control he was now!

"That's it my boy!" he yelled getting close.  "Keep sucking that cock!
Keep doing it, and I'll feed you my huge fucking load of cream!  Yeah,
that's it!  Keep it up, Cock Sucker!"

I was thinking that I had never seen him like this before and I was loving
it.  I knew he was even closer to the edge now, then he grabbed my hair and
held on harder and his grip was now becoming more tight and even though
there was pain, I didn't care.  I was being loved by his dominance, hard
pulsing cock and thrusts.  He was fucking my mouth hard and deep now, then
he stiffened up even harder.

"Here it comes my loving little cock sucker!" he screamed.  "I'm going to
give it to you now!"

He let out a loud scream and shoved his cock deep in my mouth and I felt
and tasted thick hot cum as it filled my mouth to capacity and some of it
was leaking out, and I was swallowing faster and faster.  He was still
coming and I felt like I couldn't take any more, but he kept thrusting, but
slower now and soon he was finished coming, and he pulled out and with his
cock, he rubbed it in the cum that leaked out on to my chin and on my neck.
He put his cock against my mouth and I licked off the drops of cum.

"I'm not done with you yet!" he said and began kissing my neck and nibbling
on it.

"Oh my love!" I yelled "That's so fucking wonderful and so hot!"

He was now kissing me all over my chest and alternating from one nipple to
the other and kissing, nibbling and gently bighting each of them and it was
making me hotter and hotter.  He then began covering my stomach and chest
in hot moist kisses and he was making sure to get every part of my abdomen
that was sensitive.  Then he had me turn on my right side while he licked,
sucked, nibbled, bit and kissed my left side from just under my arm to my
hip.  He did this to my right side as well and I was closer to coming than
ever before.  He then turned me on my stomach and kissed all over my back
and shoulders.

"Oh fuck Josh!" I screamed.  "I can't take anymore!  I'm so fucking close!"

"You're going to have to hold on a little longer," he said and flipped me
on to my back again.  "I'm not stopping no matter how much you want me to.
I'm pushing you harder than I have before and I think you're finding that
out as we go on with love making tonight."

He then took my cock in his mouth and began sucking and his hands were
stroking and massaging my balls.  It felt so exquisite and I felt like I
couldn't take much more.  He then moved his left hand and placed it between
my ass cheeks.  He massaged the opening to my hole and lightly slid his
fingertips up and down my crack which was making me moan and thrash around
harder and harder on the bed.  He then inserted a finger in my whole and
while his sucking got harder, he began stimulating my prostate with his
finger, then he added another finger and they were both pushing and easing
up on my prostate with the rhythm of his sucking.

"Fuck!" I screamed to the top of my voice.  "Oh Josh, that's so mother
fucking good!  Don't Stop, don't ever stop!"

He was going faster and faster now and large bright and vibrant lights and
colors were flashing before my eyes now.  I was out of control now and was
moving my hips up and down and luckily, he was letting me.  I was desperate
to move and getting closer to the edge.  He pressed and held his fingers
against my prostate and that finally broke things loose.

The orgasm began slowly, but strongly.  It built faster and faster with my
balls burning as the cum rose from them and began moving to my cock.  My
cock burned, hurt and felt so good as it began stiffening up harder and
harder.

"Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh fuck!" I roared and my cock felt like molten
searing hot lava was being blasted out of it.  Josh was swallowing fast and
quick, not wanting to miss a drop.

It seemed like I would never stop coming, but soon it was over and I begged
him to pull his mouth off my cock, that's how sensitive it was, and he
fortunately complied, and he also removed his fingers from my hole and came
up to lay beside me.

"That was fucking amazing!" he said and lay down beside me.

"You're fucking right it was!" I said trying to get my breath.

"I'll give you a couple of minutes to rest," He began.  "Then I'm going to
be all over you again."

"That sounds so fucking amazing!" I said as we wrapped our arms around each
other and kissed softly, then deeply as our bodies made contact again.

"I love you so much Michael," he said and lay his head in the hollow of my
neck.

"I love you too, more than anything my beautiful Joshua!" I said kissing
the top of his head.  "You're fucking wonderful tonight and I love how
you're showing your dominance over me.  It's getting me so fucking hot!"

"I'm glad to hear that," he said looking up at me.

I knew that he was ready to make love to me in that ultimate way and I was
ready for him.  I kissed him deeply and let our tongues move against one
another for a moment, then I broke the kiss.

"You're ready aren't you?" I whispered in his ear.

"More than ready," he said and turned me on to my stomach.

"Do it my beautiful Joshua," I said looking back at him.  "Love me so
wildly and so hard tonight!"

"That's exactly what I'm going to do my love!" he said and lubed up my
whole again then he got his cock slicked up and he began pushing in slowly.
Finally, he was in and I could feel his pubic hair and his big heavy balls
resting on me as he held himself there.  I told him that he could start
moving and he began slowly at first.

"Oooooo damn!" he yelled.  "This is fucking grate!"

"Fuck yeah it is!" I shouted back.  I could feel him on me moving and
thrusting wildly.  He was hot, fiery, passionate and animalistic in his
thrusting and slamming in to me, and he literally was slamming in to me.
It was harder than he ever had before and his arms were clamped around my
torso holding me tightly.  I was in total bliss as he fucked me with total
abandon.

"Oh fuck!" I screamed to the top of my voice.  "Go harder and faster my
sweet love!"

"Here it comes boy!" he yelled and put the last bits of strength in to
making love to me.  His body was slapping against mine harder and harder
and I could feel the sweat gushing off of him and on to me.  My prostate
was being slammed and was taking a ferocious pounding and his fucking and
thrusting had within them ferocity that I had never known before and as I
thought about it I knew that he was getting closer and closer.

"Fuck, I'm almost there boy!" he roared, then it happened.

He slammed me in to the bed and had me pinned down holding me so that I was
immobile, then he threw back his head and gave voice to a primal roar and
slammed in to me with such ferocity that rivaled what was there seconds
before and I felt his cock explode inside me sending shot after shot of
molten cum in to my clenching hot hole.  It seemed as though it would never
stop and he kept thrusting and thrusting slamming in to me and finally his
hand found my cock after he eased up so I could get on my elbows and knees
so he could have access to my cock and balls and he was stroking me.

It didn't take long, and I gave the same pained scream and my own orgasm
was taking hold and crushing me with its intensity.  I screamed again and
it was unbearable and I couldn't take it, but I didn't want it to end
either, not ever!

0000

Josh felt his orgasm slowly building, then it was crushing him in its grip
with force he had never known before.  He jerked his head back and let out
a primal and animalistic scream that was more of a roar that he never
thought capable of producing, and he felt his balls boiling with molten-hot
semen that was moving from them to his cock that was on fire.  He screamed
louder and was slamming in to Michael harder and faster now.  Josh could
feel the blood pounding in his head and could hear it rushing and roaring
in his ears and he never felt like this before when coming.  His orgasm was
making him have feelings of ecstasy and it was so ferocious in its
intensity and power that he could do nothing but roar again as several more
shots of cum blasted out of his cock making it feel good and hurt at the
same time and also making him feel like searing-hot lava was being slammed
and blasted out of his balls and cock then in to Michael's love hole.
Bright and vibrant colors and lights flashed before Josh's eyes and he felt
like he couldn't take it much longer.  It was all so good and so intense,
much more than he could take, it was unbearable and yet he never wanted it
to stop, not ever!

Michael

Josh slammed in to me a few more times and I could feel his cum flowing in
to me and the last few large shots of it over flowed and were gushing out
of my hole and running between my legs and over my balls.  I was enjoying
it all, Josh's sweat-drenched body, the smell of his sweat, his manly smell
and the feel of him on me along with the moist and creamy sounds of his
cock moving in and out of my hole, which were now loud wet sounds as his
cock and my hole were soaked in his seed.  He let out one last thrust and
then fell hard on top of me.  I never felt more drained than I did on that
wild and hot night.

After he slowly pulled out, and after we cleaned each other off with
another wet rag, well a couple of them, we lay in each other's arms softly
caressing and kissing one another.  He then rested his forehead on mine and
just lay there not moving and I did the same.

"You were a wild animal tonight," I said softly then pressed a loving kiss
on his lips.  He returned the kiss, then smiled.

"You were pretty hot and crazy yourself in response," he replied.

"I've never seen you like that before," I added.

"I hope it didn't bother you," he began.  "I just couldn't control myself
and I just couldn't help it.  There's just something about making love with
you that makes me lose control and it's been getting more and more like
that as we continue to share ourselves with one another."

I hugged him tighter for a moment and kissed him a little harder, then
eased my grip and just let him lay in my arms again.

"Don't ever stop loving me like that when we make love," I said.  "That's
the best part of the love making, when you're not afraid to let it take
hold of you, and you seem to be happy with me when I lose control when I
top you."

"You're right," he said.  "The same goes for you as well, don't ever stop
being a wild man with me when you top me, okay?"

"You have a deal my sweet love," I said, then we kissed softly, hugged each
other again, then Josh pulled the covers over us and holding each other
with our bodies entwined, we fell deeply asleep.

0000

Noah was looking upon the blood-drenched fields where the people had torn
each other to shreds in their need to be right.  He suddenly awoke in this
strange land and saw everyone in front of him, men, women and teen boys and
girls.  Every single one of them were screaming at each other and it seemed
as though they had been taken over by some sort of organisms.  They all
were telling each other what they thought was the truth about every single
thing and subject in life and as each of them related their own viewpoint,
the other would mock the person after they would speak.  One would speak
their version of the truth and in response, another person listening would
mock them and it went until every single person was shouting and they all
shouted and screamed at one another to the point that it became deafening
and Noah tried to turn his head, but like in most dreams of this terrifying
kind, he was immobile, immobile in every part of his body and he was
scared.  He tried to call out, but nothing came out.

"No!" he screamed in his head.  "You people can't do this!"

He said this in response to several men slapping one another across the
face after hearing the other say something with which they disagreed.  They
were beating each other with fists and when women tried to stop them and
call for love and kindness, they were ruthlessly mocked and laughed at.
Soon though, the women were beaten, then when one woman tried to run, the
men fell upon her and took turns helping himself to her and satisfying
violent sexual urges that were so hate-filled as to be demonic.  The boys
and girls were even more hateful in their verbal arguing with one another
and soon, the scene before Noah was a complete orgy of beating and raping
that would make even The Marquis de Sade retreat in terror.

"No!" he screamed in his head again.  "You can't do this!"

The violence was over, but now when several teen boys tried to talk about
the fact that being gay wasn't harmful and loving someone who was gay was
normal and even right, the group fell upon them and beat them with
animalistic hatred.  Soon though, the men, women, boys and girls became
even more secure in what they thought was the truth and the ones who
actually had moral truths to tell, were slaughtered slowly and for what
seemed like for hours.  With horror, Noah saw the boys who spoke of loving
gays being raped with such savagery and violence that he could do nothing
but scream and cry out, but only in his head.  Then as if the horror wasn't
enough, the boys after being raped were slowly torn apart, from their lower
bodies and up to their heads.  Noah looked closely as if his body was of a
mind of its own and he saw with uncomprehending terror that the raped and
slaughtered boys looked exactly like him, then a deeper look showed that it
was him.

"No!" he screamed and he felt like he was going to go insane.  "No!  This
is a nightmare, I need to wake up!"

Suddenly, he felt like he could move and he tried to turn and run from the
horror before him, but when he turned around with his back to the murdered
boys, another group of men, women, teen boys and teen girls were facing him
and they too began arguing with one another about the truths they each
thought that they had.

"Please!" Noah screamed out loud this time.  "You have to stop this!  No
one should treat another this way!  No one deserves this!"

"Oh," a man said then turned to face Noah.  "Just what in the hell would
you know about how to treat another you sick diseased gaybasher!  We know
all about you and your little fun with your father!"

"No!" I didn't ask for him to do those things to me, and I'm not gay!"

"We also know all about you and your little thoughts," a woman said
stepping forward towards him.  "We know all about you lying awake in bed at
night after daddy would leave."

"Shut up!" he screamed.

"And about how you would think about, oh who was it?" she asked.  "Was it
Billy, Andy, or, oh, I don't know.  You would think of whatever boy was
next to you in the shower and you would take that thing in your hand while
lying in bed after daddy left your room."

"Shut up!" Noah screamed again.

"And you would have a nice time with yourself wouldn't you," she said and
now she was laughing hatefully at him.  "Noah, the little faggot that said
he wasn't Must have been so hard getting and keeping it up for those girls
huh, queer?"

"Shut the fuck up!" he screamed and he was sobbing now.

"And to think," a man standing to the left of the woman said.  "You were
repeating over and over that you weren't gay as you masturbated in bed at
night didn't you!"

He was laughing contemptibly as he said this last part and Noah was curled
up on the ground now sobbing and he was curled up tightly in a ball.  The
group was laughing and pointing at him and throwing insults at him.  His
terror grew and he felt like he just wanted to die right then and there.

He then lifted his head and looked at them.

"If I wasn't allowed to do what I did to others, then what makes you all so
special!" he screamed at them.  "I already know that I'm changing!  I don't
want to live as I have been, Michael will help me with this!"

The group was moving in from all sides now closing on him.  They were
laughing louder and louder now and he saw that their human forms were
melting away and that they no longer were taken over by spiritual
organisms, but that they were the organisms now.

"Michael is dead!" the one who had the woman's face said.  "He is in Hell,
where you will go next!"

"Nooooooooooooo!!!!!" Noah screamed louder than he thought possible, then a
frightening blast of white light that blinded him as they grabbed hold of
him and began to rip him to pieces.  He gave voice to one final
soul-shattering scream, then the light was gone and he was transported to
another field with people who were doing the same as before.

"Stop this!" he screamed.  "Please!  I don't want to see anymore!"

The people where arguing about the truth each of them thought that they
alone contained within themselves and now the violence and hate culminated
in an orgy of rape, beating, and savage murder and torture that they all
visited on one another with demonic joy and dark happiness that Noah had
never seen before, then he saw more people come from what seemed like out
of thin air.  They were all dressed in military uniforms and one of them
had a large bomb in his arms.

Now the army people began to become infected with the organisms and more
verbal arguing, physical beating, rape and murder began once again, then
the tallest man in the group took a device and pressed a button and the
whole scene flashed in a devastating ball of fire.  Noah saw the skin sear
and melt off of the men as they screamed in pure agony.  Heads exploded and
the intestines along with hearts and lungs fell from the melted flesh in
huge clumps and were wet and shining with blood.  Noah watched it all as he
fought to keep his sanity.

"Help!" he screamed, but no one was there to come to his aid.
Noooooooooooooooo!"

Another bomb exploded and the fire swallowed up everything, and the
terrifyingly bright flash of white light enveloped Noah again.  Now he was
looking at the same place, but with dead and decaying bodies which were
before him and he figured that it was the land after the bombs had gone
off, since the bodies weren't truly bodies, but parts and pieces of bodies
spread all over the ground.  Trees were fallen and rotting as well and
there wasn't a single soul left alive, not except himself.  The sky was
completely black and the night felt darker and far more oppressive than
anything he had ever known.  He had never felt so alone and afraid.

"Help!" he screamed again, but there was no one to hear him.  He fell to
the ground and curled himself in to a tight ball again and was sobbing,
then he felt himself falling again, down and down in to complete blackness.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

0000

Noah was twisting over and over again and he was tangled in the bed
clothes.  He was soaked in sweat and he knew without having to look that he
had wet himself.  He stopped twisting, and was on his back and he was
shaking badly.  He looked around and recognized the room he had been in
when he had first gone to sleep.  Milky light was showing through the
curtains that covered the windows and they weren't see-through, but they
were light enough to let in some of the sun whenever it was sunny outside
in the day time.

"Fuck," Noah whispered in a barely functioning voice.  He felt like hell
and he didn't feel rested at all.  He also felt like he was close to
throwing up.  He must have really had a bad night was what he was thinking,
then he tried to think that they were only dreams, but they weren't fading
like most bad dreams do.  Some of the scenes from the dreams played in his
mind again, especially the ones involving the boys who were gay and how he
himself was made fun of when he tried to defend himself concerning himself
being gay.  "It really is true.  I am one of them.  I really am what
Michael, Josh and their other brothers are.  I really am gay."

He thought all of this, then he was sobbing violently in to his hands.

"I really am gay," he said through his tears to the empty room, then sobbed
harder.

After it was over, he disentangled himself from the soaked bed clothes and
went to the restroom.  The urge to vomit overtook him and he was over the
toilet with the contents of his stomach speeding through his stomach, and
out of his mouth.  It felt like his body was trying to extricate itself
from the hold of something, maybe a demon he was thinking in his head.  He
then heard pounding on his bedroom door.  He couldn't speak since he was
still throwing up, then he heard the door open and footsteps walking in.

Michael

I came in to Noah's room and saw that the bed was empty and the source of
the vomiting sounds was coming from straight ahead from the bathroom the
door of which was standing opened.  I looked to my right and saw that the
bed clothes were soaked and that they had been knocked on to the floor.  I
also smelled the sour odor of urine filling the air and I knew intuitively
that Noah had wet the bed, and I figured that he had suffered through a bad
night.  I went back to looking at the opened doorway of the restroom.  He
was bending over the toilet and getting the last of the vomit up.  He spit
a few more times, waited for a moment, then took some toilet paper and
wiped his mouth, then he stood up.  He was naked and he must have taken off
his sleep pants when he had gotten out of bed.  I tried not to look at him
while he was naked and did the best I could to keep my eyes off of him, or
at least to keep my eyes on his.

"My sleep pants and boxers are by the side of my bed," he said with a
trembling in his voice.  "I had to get them off when I woke up, since I wet
myself."

He went over to the sink and washed out his mouth and brushed his teeth.
He then dried his mouth after washing it out again and then used a hand
towel to dry off his mouth and hands, then he walked towards me with his
whole body shaking badly.  I reached for him and let him hold on to me as I
lead him back to the bed.  We sat down and I held him in my arms as he
started to cry.

"I really am sorry for everything I've done," he said through his tears.

"I know you are," I said softly.  "You know that I and everyone else will
help you as best as we can.  I don't want you to forget that."

"I won't," he said.

After he was finished crying, he moved his head out from under my neck and
surprised me by kissing me on the cheek and letting the kiss linger for a
moment.

"Sorry," he said after ending the kiss.  "I don't want to make you think
I'm trying to come between you and Josh, but I just feel like I needed to
do that."

"I looked in to his eyes and he looked back.

"It's okay," I said.  "Is it alright if I return it?"

"Uh," he said and hesitated for a moment.  "Sure."

I kissed him on the cheek like he had just done in the same way and we just
stayed like that for a moment, after I ended the kiss with me holding him
in my arms and him just sitting there resting in my embrace and breathing
slowly and he was now calm and seemed to be more at ease.  Soon though, we
ended the hug and he said he wanted to get up and get the day started.

"Just so you know," I said standing up and looking towards the clock.
"It's a little before 6:00 A.M. and we all don't have to be started until
8:00 A.M. with Josh, my brothers and I getting up at 7:00 A.M. and the kids
getting up at 8:00 A.M.."

"If you want to go back to sleep I can let you and I can try to sleep a
little more," Noah said.

"It's okay," I replied.  "I'm actually wide awake.  I can start breakfast
and the rest can eat when they get up.  We'll just have to try and not wake
them up while we're up."

"Okay," he agreed and went in to the restroom to get a shower.

Author's Notes

I'm sure readers will be both happy and horrified at Noah's dreams.  They
were to a certain extent based on the nightmare that Raskolnikov has in the
novel Crime and Punishment when he's in the prison infirmary in which he
dreams that all of the people living in Russia get overtaken by spiritual
organisms which lead them to believe that they alone, each person within
themselves alone has the truth.  In an effort to make one another believe
that their own version of the truth is correct, they all begin to get more
and more agitated and destruction occurs which leads to the complete
destruction of Russia.  Dostoyevsky understood the danger of what happens
when people believe that they alone have the absolute truth and Raskolnikov
had to finally learn that his outlook of believing that he could do
whatever he wanted was a false doctrine that destroys life rather than
enhances it.  So yes, Noah and his journey to redemption and his return to
the moral life are slightly based on Crime and Punishment.

Anyway, I hope everyone will enjoy this chapter as they have with all of
the others.  Everyone have a good evening, and I'll see you all in the next
chapter.