Date: Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:44:35 -0400
From: JAMES HEADY <vector18@msn.com>
Subject: a Deep Love--Book 2--Chapter 4

    A Deep Love
    By
    James

    Disclaimer

    This is a story that deals with sexual as well as romantic
relationships between teenaged and/or adult males.  If it's illegal to read
this within your area, if you're not of the legal age to read this, or if
you're bothered by this type of material, then don't read any further.

    Chapter 4

    Fearful eyes looked back at me as I stepped forward to take the boy's
hand.  All I knew was that Larry Marks was alive and had never died.  My
father had told me the whole story and he also told me all of what Eric had
been through.

    Eric stood there and took my right hand's index finger and held it for
a moment between his first and second fingers of his right hand then
quickly let go.  I knew that getting Eric past all of the horrors he
suffered would be harder than it had been with the other boys.  I knew only
that Larry Marks was sent back to prison, but under extremely heavy guard.

    "Just follow me to the hallway," I said trying to make Eric feel more
at ease.  "We have one last bedroom."

    I wasn't exaggerating either.  We had six rooms counting mine and my
mom's rooms.  We'd have to think of something soon if we had more boys to
take in.

    Walking in to the room, I made up the bed and made sure the windows
were locked.  I jumped visibly when Eric spoke for the first time since my
mom had picked him up from Adam and Kelley's house.  He had staid there for
the past few weeks and now he had been signed over to us.  We called it a
temporary arrangement, but I knew that it wouldn't be for much longer.  The
past couple of weeks had gone by and no relatives for Eric were turning up
and we all sure as hell weren't going to let him die out on the streets.

    "Don't bother making sure the windows are locked," Eric said just above
a whisper.  "He wants me bad enough, he'll find a way to get in and there's
nothing you or anyone can do to stop him.  I don't even deserve your guys'
kindness.  You all know what I did for him."

    "That doesn't matter now," I said.  "It never did.  Your father's evil
isn't within you and it would have been someone else doing his bidding if
he hadn't made you do it.  Weather it was you or someone else, one way or
another, he would have gotten his way in the end anyway, and unfortunately,
it was you that he exploited."

    "You know, I've thought a lot about disguising myself as a guard,
sneaking in to the prison, and just killing him.  I'd do to him everything
he did to me and the other boys, but I'd leave the rape out of it.  I just
can't see myself violating someone else in that way."

    "I guess my father didn't tell you that that bastard raped me too?" I
said.

    "He may have," Eric said.  "It's all a blur to me, the time I spent
with Andrew I mean."

    "Well, I can't let you kill anyone," I said.  "Murder unless in self
defense, is wrong and you would have just lowered yourself to your father's
way of life."

    "I just don't know what to do," Eric said beginning to cry.

    I went to take him in my arms and he jumped back quickly.  He did allow
me to just put a hand on his shoulder, but I knew that even that was hard
for him to do.

    Later that night in our room, I lay beside Josh and took him in my arms
holding him tight.  I needed his warmth and comfort at that moment.

    When my father told us that Larry Marks was still alive after Eric and
the two other boys were rescued, I almost passed out, but Josh and my mom
held me up.  I knew that things were changing and I knew at that moment
that whatever plans Josh and I had as well as the plans of my brothers
would have to wait.  This meant that mine and Josh's Commitment Ceremony
would have to be postponed, but that was no problem if it meant that we
would be able to save more lives.

    I loosened my hold on Josh and just rubbed his back up and down.  His
warmth was helping me calm down and I felt a little better.

    "What kind of man brings a child in to the world just to bring he or
she up in a life of fear and abuse?" I said.

    "I guess it takes someone as evil as Larry Marks," Josh said.

    "I know one thing," I said then kissed Josh lightly on the lips.  He
kissed me back and we just lay there facing each other just still and
quiet.

    "What's that babe?" he asked softly.

    "I'll never follow Christianity.  Maybe it's a religion of love and
compassion that has its fanatics like all religions, but it seems to have
more hatred and violence than a religion such as Buddhism."

    "I agree," Josh responded.  "I can never follow in good conscience, a
religion that is used as a weapon against innocent people.  The Christians
I've heard talk are the ones who seem to hide behind the bible and
Christian scripture just to use their hatred and bigotry and then by doing
it this way, they're not called on their shit, because according to them,
its God who is telling them it's okay to hate and be bigoted.

    "Yeah, I agree.  Though I have to say that I feel like you're trying to
make a point.'

    "I am," he said.  "We need to stand up even louder and harder to these
haters and bigots.  Erick almost went insane, hell could still crack under
the pressure of what's been done to him.  I'll make it really clear so as
not to be misleading.  I know Christians who are good honest people, but
these Evangelicals who are pushing for GLBT rights to be held back from us
are dangerous and because of them and their hate, people like Larry Marks
take the hate of the evangelicals further and twist it in to anthems that
say that its okay to kill someone, or if not to kill that person's physical
body, then its okay to at least kill who that person is and to me, killing
one's spirit and soul is the most evil act one can do and I'll not rest
until I make sure that these haters masquerading as Christians are stopped
and their hate removed from peoples' lives.  People want to believe what
they want to, fine, but when you use your hate and bigotry to risk the
lives of others then hide behind the bible as a way of protection, then
that is not acceptable.

    Josh was holding back tears as he finished and his voice was filled
with raw rage, hurt, and sadness for what our brothers, me, and for what
Eric had gone through.  He was right, the haters were deserving of a
response and that was just what they'd get.

    One week later.

    Eric forced down the last bight of food then left the dinner table.  He
hadn't slept, but only a few hours here and there since being moved in with
Michael and his family.  Eric knew that they were all nice people, but he
wasn't doing well at all with getting past what happened with him and Larry
Marks.  The therapist would tell him over and over again that he was a good
person and that none of this was his fault, but it wasn't working at all.
Eric knew that something had to change.  When he would sleep, he'd have
nightmares so bad, that he almost had to be rushed to the hospital on a
couple of occasions to be given something to help calm him down.

    Eric told Jennifer and the other boys that he was going on a walk, and
they had him take his cell phone that he had in case he needed to get a
hold of them while he was at the house with Andrew.  Andrew was giving
Erick home schooling lessons during the day so he could keep up, but even
if he did get back in to public school that year, they'd most likely tell
him to finish his home schooling for the rest of that school year and next
year he'd have to take ninth grade over again.

    Jason Okano walked in to the Buddhist temple and sat on one of the
meditation seats.  His day at the school was stressful and at one point
just before ninth period which was Math class for him, he almost told the
study hall teacher to go to hell after she told him that he needed to stop
being gay.  He pictured Tashomoto, the leader of the temple that he was in
now.  Picturing the man in his mind helped calm Jason and he said in the
calmest voice that the woman had ever heard that he was sorry that she felt
that way, then he turned back to his homework assignments.

    After a half-an-hour, Jason ended his meditating and stood from the
floor.  He then heard the door to the building open and foot steps on the
wooden floor.  As he turned around, he saw a boy swaying from side to side
almost ready to fall.

    Jason ran to him and went to put his hand on the boys shoulder, but the
boy moved back quickly.

    "Don't touch me," he said looking at Jason with the most terrified
expression on his face.

    "It's okay," Jason said softly.  "I won't hurt you.  This is a place of
kindness and caring.  You have nothing to be afraid of here."

    Eric stood there trying to trust what this guy was saying to him.  He
opened his eyes all the way and focused on Jason Okano's absolute calm and
peaceful face looking back at him.

    "You on crack or something?" Eric asked him.  I don't know if you are
or not, but no one can look that calm without being high on something."

    "I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, and I do not drink," Jason said
calmly.  "I unlike these evangelical Christian hypocrites actually practice
almost every Buddhist rule."

    "So you're a Buddhist?" Eric asked.

    "Yeah I am," Jason replied.  He explained about how he and his parents
came to live in America back when he was ten and how they found this Temple
and had been attending it ever since.  Jason's family practiced Zen
Buddhism and his parents had helped him get in to it when he was eight, and
Jason loved it.

    "I'm not sure how I even found this place," Eric said.  "I was just
walking, then I looked up and found this place.  I don't think I deserve to
be here."

    "You have a right to be here," Jason responded.  "You're a good person
and I get the feeling some things happened, or are happening to you that
are bad."

    Jason held out his hand for Eric to take and he cautiously took it.
They sat down on the floor beside each other and Eric told Jason everything
that he had been through and leaving nothing out.  Eric then leaned closer
to Jason not even realizing how close to him he was, and not even noticing
when Jason took him in his arms and held him.

    Eric sobbed for what seemed like forever, but was only a few minutes.
He then lifted his head and met Jason's eyes.  They looked in to one
another's eyes for a long moment then they both stood up.

    "From what you told me about how your mom feels, and about what your
brothers have said, I have to agree with them," Jason spoke after waiting
for a moment.  "What happened was not your fault and none of us can forgive
what you haven't done.  We can't forgive you, because you haven't done
anything that needs forgiving."

    "I just need some sort of a sign that everything will be alright and
that I'm worthy of being like other people," Eric said just above a
whisper.

    The two boys faced where the candles stood burning and Eric looked at
the chain around Jason's neck.  He looked even closer as the small pendent
of The Buddha shown brightly in the light of the candle, then it got even
brighter.  Suddenly, there was a huge wave of calm and peacefulness that
spread throughout Eric's mind and body.  For the first time in his life, he
felt peace, calm, and contentment.  He felt as though the world had been
lifted from his shoulders and he smiled for the first time in what seemed
like forever.

    "Jason," he said.  "I feel like, um,.

    He didn't know how to finish, and he stood up straighter and looked
around the temple.  There were incense burning and a few paintings of the
Buddha on the wall that stood opposite the boys.

    "I'd say that that was your sign," Jason said turning to face the wall
that Eric stood looking at.

    "I feel better now," Eric said.  "I feel like I have nothing to fear
and that everything will be alright."

    "I think it will be now," Jason said as he and Eric stood and faced
each other.

    "Do you know what time it is Jason?" Eric asked him.

    Jason took from his belt a cell phone and looked at its screen.

    "It's 8:30 PM," Jason replied.

    "I really don't want to leave you just yet Jason," Eric said looking in
to his eyes.  "I like you and I feel like you're a good person I can be
safe around."

    "I'm glad you feel that way, and if you want to hang out a little more
tonight, I'd like that, but you may want to check with your mom first.  You
may even want to check with your brothers as well.  I get the feeling that
if I let anything happen to you, then they'd make me pay."

    Jason laughed to show that it was a joke, but he would soon come to
know that he wasn't far from the truth.

    Eric talked to Jennifer for a couple of minutes and he told her
everything.  She listened without being judgmental about the experience
then she asked to talk to Jason.  He handed the phone to Jason and he told
her who he was.

    "I think you're a good person for taking Eric in," Jason said after
they introduced themselves.  "There is so much cruelty in this country, not
to mention all over the world and I really am happy when I see someone do
good for someone else as well as themselves.  You should make sure to
cherish your sons.  Obviously your good karma has brought them in to your
home as well as your life."

    "You're a sweet young man Jason," Jennifer said.  "I'm fine with you
and Eric spending the next few hours together.  Its Friday night and so I'm
completely fine with it.  Just have him home by 12:00 AM."

    "I'll do that," Jason said then they ended the call.

    They then called Jason's parents to let them know where he'd be.  His
parents were out of town at a business meeting.  They had those a lot, but
on the weeks they were home, they'd make sure that they had time to spend
with Jason, but even when they were away, they'd call Jason and he'd call
them.  Once the call was over, the boys headed out to Jason's truck and he
started it up.  He explained to Eric that it was a gift from his parents
when he turned sixteen.

    "So are you hungry?" Jason asked him once they were pulling out of the
parking lot of the temple.

    "I had dinner, but I was on the edge of throwing it up when I was
eating," Eric said.  "I'm surprised that I've been able to hold any of my
meals down.  So now that you asked me, I am hungry.  Where did you want to
go?"

    "It's your choice."

    "I really don't know what's around here."

    "There's a place I go every Friday night that my friend Hiroki runs.
Did you want to go there with me?"

    "I'd love that."

    Hiroki stood by the kitchen sink waiting for people to come and eat.
On this particular Friday, he was closed during that day on that week
because he needed to get some extra sleep.  He had nightmares the whole
time he slept the night before and he got sick several times that Friday
morning.  When stress got to be too much for him, Hiroki would usually get
nauseous, and sometimes even throw up which is what happened on this
particular morning.

    Once he got more sleep, he woke up again around 5:00 PM that Friday
evening and opened up the restaurant around 6:00.  He worried that no one
would come that night, but he then heard the bells that hung on the knob of
the front door.  He ran from the kitchen to the front of the restaurant and
saw Jason, but tonight, he wasn't alone.  With him was a boy who looked to
be about 14 years old.  He had Carmel-brown hair, sky-blue eyes, and a
smile on his face that made Hiroki feel like he could easily fall for the
boy, but he shoved those thoughts out of his head.

    "Hi Roki," Jason said.  "I want you to meet someone I brought with me.
This is Eric."

    "Hi Eric," Hiroki said taking Eric's hand in his own.  They shook hands
then Hiroki seated the boys.

    After looking at the menu for a few minutes, they got their food and
just enjoyed each others company as they drank the soda that Hiroki gave to
them.

    "So when do you start school at my brothers' school?" Eric asked Jason
after swallowing his drink of Coke.

    "I'll be starting classes there at the beginning of the new year,"
Jason replied.

    "I'll be going there too when they feel that I'm psychologically fit
enough to do it."

    "I hope you and I have a few classes together.  I'd love to be able to
partner up with you and your brothers on projects and stuff like that."

    "I'd like that too," Eric said.

    Their food came and they ate slowly, just enjoying everything.  Eric
had never had Japanese food before and the stuff he was eating at that
moment was really enjoyable.  They had Sushi which was rapped in a type of
rice role, Wasabi which is a Japanese mustard, and other foods related to
the Japanese culture.

    They finished up and just sat there enjoying the quiet of the
atmosphere.  Eric was feeling better than he ever had and Jason was glad to
see the positive change in him.  After waiting for a few minutes more,
Jason got out money and paid Hiroki.  They then went out to Jason's truck
and got in.

    "Any other place you want to go?" Jason asked Eric.

    "I hear that the beach is pretty nice right now," Eric replied.  "No,
I'm not suggesting that we go in the ocean, but it's not so cold that we
can't just sit there on the sand and just look up at the stars and the
moon.  I've always thought that that site was so beautiful, and that's one
pleasure that my father couldn't take away."

    "I'd love that," Jason said.

    They drove for a while and for the minutes in between switching gears
with the gear shift, Eric held Jason's hand during the time they rode.

    Once there, Jason stopped the car and they got out.  Jason got a
blanket out from the back of the truck and he spread it out a few feet away
from the truck.  Eric followed him and they both sat down on it.

    The waves moving against the surf were soothing to the boys and as they
sat beside one another, Eric leaned his head on Jason's shoulder.  Jason
smiled then put his arms around Eric and held him close with Eric's head in
the hollow of his neck.

    "I enjoy being with you like this," Eric said.  "I never thought I'd
get a chance to experience life.  I thought that either my father would
kill me, or that if I did get out alive, I also was afraid that I'd go
permanently insane and have to spend the rest of my life in a psychiatric
hospital.  I'm really glad you and I met.  I feel like that me finding you
was no accident."

    "I feel the same way," Jason responded.  "I never had any actual
friends except for my parents, the Leader of the temple, and Hiroki.  I'm
really glad you and I met as well and I feel real joy that we found each
other."

    "You're my best friend Jason," Eric said moving his head from under
Jason's neck and looking deep in to his eyes.  "I never thought I'd be able
to trust anyone, but you showed me that I could."

    "I feel the same way about you too Eric," Jason responded.  "When ever
you want to get together and do stuff, just call.  I'll always make an
effort to be there for you.  That's a promise that I'll do everything in my
power to keep."

    "And I promise the same thing for you too," Eric said.  They just sat
there in comfortable silence just listening to the waves come in and
looking up at the bright moon and the stars.

    By now, the boys switched positions so that Jason was sitting in
between Eric's legs and Erick wrapped his arms around him from behind and
just held him against him.

    "Damn he's so small," Eric thought to himself.  "He's as big as me, but
his body is built small or something."

    After some time had passed, Jason looked at his cell phone, he saw that
it was 11:30 PM.  He knew that the place they were at was about a good
distance away from the house, so he knew that they would need to be going
soon.

    "We should probably get going," Jason said.  "I don't want to, but your
mom and most likely your brothers will make me pay if I don't get you back
safely and on time."

    He laughed softly to show that it was a joke and Eric reluctantly
agreed.  They picked up the blanket and went back to the truck.  After
Jason replaced the blanket in the back of the truck's camper, he got in the
driver's seat.  Eric got in the passenger's side and they drove off holding
hands all the way back to Eric's house.

    I stood up from where Josh and I had been cuddling on the couch when I
heard the engine pull up in the driveway.  Going over to the front door, I
opened the door just a crack and looked out.  Eric was walking with someone
who looked smaller than him, but just as tall.  I backed away from the door
and opened it up all the way.

    They walked in and they stood there as I closed and relocked the door.
The boy that Eric had with him was delicate, and very handsome.  He
introduced himself as Jason Okano and I shook his hand.  It was small and
delicate just like the rest of him.

    I then heard foot steps coming from the hall headed towards the kitchen
where we were.  It was my mom.

    "I'm Michael," I said.  "Thanks for getting my brother back safely."

    "I'm glad I was able to do it," Jason said.  I looked at him very
carefully taking in his round Japanese face that looked more calm and
peaceful than any other face I've seen, and I also took in his eyes which
were framed behind wire-rimmed glasses.  His hair was fluffy and cut short.
My mom introduced herself to him and they shook hands.  After talking for a
moment or two longer, she excused herself and returned to bed.

    "Jason?" Eric said coming closer to where he stood.

    "Yes Eric?"

    "I'm going to go to bed now, but I had something I wanted to ask you
first.  If you say no, I'll understand."

    "What's that?" he asked him.

    "If it's alright with Michael and our brothers, would you stay with me
until I fall asleep?"

    "I'd love to," Jason said.

    "I don't have a problem with it," I said.

    When we all got in to the hallway, our other brothers got up and so
Jason met the rest of them and they seemed like they were fine with him.

    Once Eric was in bed, we all said good night to him and we all gave him
warm and long-lasting hugs, something he wouldn't have allowed just hours
ago.  We left him and Jason alone and our brothers all went back to bed.
Josh and I did the same thing and were asleep within minutes.

    End of Chapter Four.