Date: Tue, 12 Mar 2002 10:16:41 -0800
From: writersrealm@hotmail.com
Subject: Discovering Gregory chpt 27

Discovering Gregory

Thanks for the email.

I want to thank all the married men who write to me. I'm always amazed by
your stories of triumph and courage. Love comes in all forms and you are
not alone. A third of my mail comes from men who are married or were
married.

Thanks also to the gay and straight women who write. It takes courage to
speak up and knowing you are out there makes it better for me. I can't
pretend to speak for women, and I don't try, but I feel your presence and
it makes me stronger. Thanks you for that.

				   *****

Lastly, I'm not angry with anyone, not even Jesse Helm. I am angry that gay
teens are still mentally and emotionally abuse, and that's on their good
days. I'm angry that gay men still feel they must marry. Now most seem to
have wonderful children and they love their wives, and I'm not angered by
that either. Some of my best friends are breeders.

We can talk about who we are. It's not just about me making you feel good
with some tacky words. We need to know our history and have some vision of
a future if we ever hope to be free, and I don't even know who we are.

Most men I've known and loved are like many of the men who email me. They
were married or would later marry, hopefully not because of dating me. I've
always thought this was an anomaly, but now I find the same men I've always
dated make up the largest single group emailing me. I'm learning about who
we are as I go.

It's not about anger. It's about hope for a better future. It's about time.

				   *****

Read my other story:
Billie Joe's Journal

http://www.asstr.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/billie-joes-journal/

				   *****

Chapter 27

Futures Past

The week dragged by more slowly than usual. I waited until Thursday, after,
talking to Dough before I asked my parents for a weekend pass. Once again I
was shocked by their easy submission. I'd never given them any cause to
doubt my honesty, always telling them everything I knew they'd find out. My
secrets were things that had little to do with parents and their child. If
they were trustworthy and capable of accepting me as I was there would be
no secrets, but I was to be cast in their image and there was no argument
there. So whenever our mutual interests diverged, I merely kept it to
myself and nodded a lot. Why ask for trouble when you aren't prepared to
confront it?

Should they find out I was about to embark on a weekend with two military
brats of dubious character and questionable habits, not to mention the
absence of adult supervision, well, the word no comes to mind. That leads
me to the teenage credo, what you don't know ain't gonna hurt you. I had
now successfully arranged to escape my house on three separate occasions
and for two consecutive weekend sojourns that were all rooted in my quest
for sexual knowledge.

On Thursday night, after getting my parents permission to break free of
them for the weekend, I was summoned to the phone. I was sure it was Doug,
and I sequestered myself in a safe corner to talk.

"Hey, handsome. How's it hangin'?" I said once I was sure my parents were
otherwise occupied.  "To tell you the truth it hangs so low I bruised both
of my knees this week while thinking about you," the voice answered.
"Kent!" I squealed, catching myself in mid yelp.  "The one and only. You
think I'm handsome, huh?"  "No! I thought you were Doug."  "Oh, he's
handsome but how could you think I was he, and what does that then make me,
gorgeous?"  "You talked to him."

"We tell each other everything," Kent said. "So you better careful about
what you consent to do."  "Everything? You'll tell him everything we do?"
"Everything. He says you're pretty wild once you get your motor warmed up."
"Jesus," I said. "I do have to be careful."  "Yes," Kent answered.  "I
didn't start it," I said, feeling myself blush.  "I will if you won't," he
said. "Can you come."  "Yeah. I just asked. It's cool. They think I'm going
to the mountains again."  "Cool. Look, I just wanted to hear your voice
sexy. I was afraid you wouldn't come. I had to check. I have something to
look forward to now."  "Me too. I can't wait to see you," I confessed.
"Thanks," he said sounding pleased.

Friday was the worst. Luckily the day finally started moving about
lunchtime. Once I was on my way home I started to feel the freedom washing
in my veins. I stopped at the bowling alley for a root beer and fries after
dropping my books off at the house. I didn't want too show up too early. I
was surprised to see Herbie and Tommy seated at a table talking over sodas
in the far corner.

I pretended I didn't see them and I sat by the alleys and watched three
spastic girls trying to figure out how to score the game. Each knew some
detail she'd heard from someone who knew someone that once bowled. All
together they didn't know squat. I went over and kept score for a few
frames to show them how clever I was and to sell the idea I didn't see
Herbie and Tommy. It wasn't much of a challenge. I had no trouble adding
the twos and threes to the zeros.

I slipped out the side door as soon as I could escape the drooling teenie
boppers. I wondered if I would have been attracted to one of them if I were
straight? They mostly looked like boys with too much hair on their heads
not to mention too much hardware on their teeth. One had a substantial
chest but I was sure it wasn't from lifting weights.

I knew I checked boys out pretty thoroughly by this time but I hadn't felt
the slightest urge to check one of the girls out. It just never occurred to
me until after I had left the bowling alley. I wasn't entirely sure how it
worked. How do people "choose" whom they are attracted to. You either are
or you aren't and I wasn't. I figured straight boys would have been hanging
all over them if they had gotten the chance.

It was a short hop to Kent's. He was wearing navy blue cords and a light
blue button up short sleeve shirt. His eyes sparkled when he answered the
door. We made immediate eye contact and he smiled pleasantly before opening
the door wide enough for me to gain entry. Before sitting down h went to
get glasses filled with ice and he placed them and the root beer on the
coffee table in front of the couch where we both sat. I was half turned
toward him with my knee on the cushion. He mirrored my position on his end
of the couch.

Kent looked much older than he was. Perhaps older isn't the word. He looked
and seemed very mature. He carried himself with confidence and a poise that
most of the kids I knew didn't have. We spent the first ten minutes sipping
and staring. It was awesome. I tingled from head to toe just being that
close to him. I had never felt anything quite like it before.

"How was your week?" He asked.  "Slow," I said. We laughed.  "I hate school
too. Boring," he said.  "I thought about you a lot."  "Oh, good thoughts I
hope."  "I have a difficult time believing your Herbie's brother."  "Yes, I
have trouble with that myself."  "How is it your so different? I mean he's
so..., so..., so Herbie."  "In actuality we aren't so... different."  "Bet
me. Herbie's got a one track mind and it's a freight train once he gets
going."

"Herbie talks these days and I don't. That's the biggest difference. He's
seventeen going on fourteen and I'm fourteen going on forty. It's always
been that way. He might never grow up."  "Get real. He doesn't think about
anything but sex. I saw him with Tommy a little while ago."  "They're down
stairs. Want to watch. The cupboard in the hall has a sliding panel in the
back that opens into the rec room. My dad's little eye in the sky, or if
you want to just see it on television, we can retire to the bedroom."
"Tommy's straight. He's always calling Timmy queer. He's an asshole," I
said.  "The best defense is a good offense. Timmy hasn't told you? Ah,
loyalty! That's what love will do for you."

"Told me what?"  "It's not for me to say. I'm not here to set things
straight for everyone."  "Why do I suddenly feel like I'm a fifth wheel?"
"I'm sorry. You aren't in on all the inside info yet. Only the king knows
everything and each of his subjects has a piece of the puzzle, just one
piece. Tommy's one of us, Martin. He's over here as much as his brother and
Timmy's brother. You met them the first time you were here. They're at the
experimental stage of adolescents."

"Aren't they a little young?" I asked, being sure they were when
considering Herbie was almost eighteen.  "Haven't you heard? Herbie's the
pied piper."  "What's that supposed to mean," I asked.  "He can't say
no. Once he says yes they won't leave him alone. He is good at what he does
and there's something about him that people find irresistable."  "What
about Doug. Why does he let Herbie do that to him?"  "Why does he let you
do that to him?"  "Herbie doesn't care about him," I said.

"Herbie loves him. Doug loves Herbie. You don't know Martin. Don't judge
other people. You can't. My brother is fine. Doug is fine."  "I'm sorry. I
don't understand. I like Herbie."  "Don't run your mouth about things you
aren't able to understand. I'll let you ask questions. I'll try to explain
as best I can but how do I know where horny ends and love starts? I'm just
a kid."

"I have a feeling you were never a kid," I said.  "It all started in
Germany. It got out of hand there anyway."  "What's that mean?" I asked.
"We all had a hand in creating Herbie. He isn't anybody really. Not the way
most people become somebody. Herbie is just what people want him to be. He
was homely, slow in school, shy, not very good with people, and he had the
perfect brother, Moi. He used to sleep under my bed, you know? I laughed at
him the first few times he slept there. Me and my friends made fun of him
all the time. Boys are particularly cruel to each other in Germany. You
think that's how Hitler got his start, huh? But then one must ask, was he
the laugher or did the kids laugh at him?"

"You're so nice. How could you be cruel to your brother?" I asked.  "I was
a kid, Martin. I was the chosen one. The sun rose and set on me. All the
disappointments in Herbie were reborn in me. He didn't walk until he was
almost three. I was already walking when he took his first step. He was
five before he ever talked, or maybe he just didn't have anything to say
until he was five. It's difficult to know what goes on inside his head. I
know he's smart, you know. Not in a conventional way."  "Smart?"  "Like
Algebra. I'm no good with math. I was sitting one day with this list of
problems. Pulling my hair out, you know. After a half an hour or so he
strolls over to my desk and marks the answers down to all the problems."
"He had the same teacher once?"  "No. He solve them in his head. Some
people aren't wired the same as the rest of us."

"What was the trick?"  "The trick was he knew the answers."  "How?"  "That
wasn't the question. Math was the question and he knew the answers. He
didn't know how he knew. He just knew. Wired different. I know how to go
about getting the proper answer, I just don't get it."  "So how did he get
the right answers?"  "He didn't get them, Martin. He knew them."  "How did
he know them?"  "It's not important. He knew. That's important."  "I don't
know. I think you've got to know how you get the answer. That's the point
of learning math."  "If you know the answer you don't need to know how to
get the answer."  "I s'pose."  "Herbie does fine now. He gets along with
everyone. He's happy and I'm happy for him. He found something he's good
at. Some thing people like about him. How bad can that be?"  "Sex," I said.

"Precisely. He's without inhibition when it comes to sex."  "How can sex
make that much difference? It just frustrates me. I want it with everyone,
but then I don't want it when I get the chance."  "He doesn't attach
significance to it. It's something everybody does and if they don't, they
want to. To Herbie it's a biological response to a stimulus."  "Tell me
about it," I said.  "He treats everyone like they want to."  "How could he
do that?"  "Well, like I said, we were in Germany. You'd better fill your
glass up. This is the long version. You do have the weekend."  "I'm yours
until Sunday night," I said.  "Okay! Here's how I turned my brother into a
sex god with a little help from my friends and other boys that happened to
be around at the time?"  "Shoot," I said, reaching for the root beer.

"I was eleven, hard charging toward twelve, and I hung with Fritz. We used
to go to the swimming pool Friday nights. You swim nude and Fritz loved
it. He never admitted it but I could tell. He'd just turned twelve. I guess
I loved it too. There were always old guys, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year
olds hanging out. Old to us back then. We were just old enough for the big
pool. Well, I had to lie to get in with the big boys, and so we were the
youngest and we didn't miss anything the big boys had or did.

"One night these two guys were horsing around. Fritz and I hung on the wall
nearby to watch them. They were like wrestling. There were fifty kids in
the pool and these were just two acting like idiots. No one else paid
attention for all the yelling and splashing going on. They kept grabbing
each other from behind, picking each other up. We knew where their dicks
were going each time one wrestled the other out of the water. We'd seen it
before but we still enjoyed watching big naked boys getting excited."

"You and Fritz fool around?" I asked.  "We had explored each other like
most kids. You know, touchy feely stuff."  "I never did. I thought about
doing it. Never did. Should have."  "It was no big deal. Doctors! Anyway,
this black kid swims over. He's twelve. The other two are maybe thirteen
and fourteen. One's obviously older, has muscles and a real body with extra
hair where it counts. It was the young one that kept it going. The black
kid stayed floating next to them. He stared right at where one guy's dick
is pressed up against the other boy's butt. It's obvious to us he's looking
at the same thing we're looking at.

"All at once while lifting the older boy up the younger boy tosses him on
top of the black kid. Then he starts splashing them and all three of them
are splashing each other and laughing like ten year olds do. It was all
pretty routine until the black kid gets behind the younger boy and lifts
him up with a jerk and his dick is pressing against his behind, only his
dick is big, black, hard, and easy to see.

"He like plants it in the guy's crack and hauls him up on it and then puts
him down and lifts him up on it again. The boy reaches his hand back and
he's feeling it. I'm thinking he's got to be worrying about it getting
loose up there. The older boy is splashing them and mesmerized by the
boldness of the black boy.

"They took turns wrestling with the black boy. Fritz and I floated closer
and closer to them. The older boy said something about us watching and the
younger boy swam right over to me. He leaned to whisper something in my ear
and his hand felt my dick. I was shocked that someone I didn't know was
feeling it. It excited me. I think that was the first time I was really
excited.

"He whispered again. He wanted me to touch him. I did."  "He felt your
dick?" I asked. "You were only eleven."  "Yeah, and he was surprised
too. I'd started to grow that year. I wasn't as big as he was but I was as
big as his friend."  "You knew about Herbie's dick?"  "You could say
that. He started growing when he was eleven. It grew and grew and
grew. Once the lights went out I would feel it. That's when we started
sleeping together. It was better than knowing he was under my bed. Then we
had a reason not to sleep under my bed."  "Like the troll," I envisioned.
"Like my brother, Martin. I felt sorry for him. I love my brother. I'd do
anything for him. He caught enough hell from my old man. I couldn't be
cruel to him any longer."  "That's good."  "Well, maybe I should be
rewarded for being good. Why not move over here?"

He'd unbuttoned his shirt and I put my hand on his warm stomach after
sliding up beside him. He looped his arm over my shoulder and squeezed me
to him. We were hugging each other right in the middle of his living room.

"I was way ahead of all the kids my age. I'm not bragging. I've always
blazed the way. I was ahead of my time. I don't think I was ever a kid, not
really. Maybe because of Herbie. I was always his big brother."  "He seems
normal to me," I said while feeling his chest.  "Lower will make me talk
faster. I don't have much of a chest yet. I've got quite a pecker if you're
into that sort of thing."  "I don't even know you," I said as I fought off
a blush.  "Isn't that why you're staying with me? May as well cut to the
chase, Martin. I don't know how to ease up to it."

My fingers slid down off his stomach and across his zipper. I felt the
bulging. His legs opened wide.

"I blazed a lot of trails in Germany. Herbie was just one example of
curiosity satisfied. Once I saw he was growing down there my interest
increased. I was feeling it every night. I had a ruler and measured it a
lot."  "What did He think?"  "I don't know. He doesn't say much about
thinking. He smiled a lot. We held each other at night. He liked it. We got
close for the first time. I liked being close to him."  "What did your
parents think?"  "The old man never comes in our room. He yells if he wants
us. When I was ten Herbie started sleeping in my lower bunk. He'd always
slept up top except when he started sleeping under my bed. I hated that. He
cried some nights. Usually after my old man called him a retard or slapped
him around for fucking something up."  "Your mother?"  "I hardly remember
her. She died. Cancer!"  "Who raised you?"  "My father. He's gone a lot. We
had a nanny in England. By the time we were in Germany it was up to me to
keep Herbie out of trouble. It got to be more fun once he started going
through puberty."  "So what happened at the pool?"  "After awhile Fritz has
got to go home. My old man's flying so I get to do what I want. I know
Herbie's home with his new Playboy."  "He was into Playboy at Twelve?" I
asked.

"He'd turned thirteen. Yeah, he's always liked pictures."  "I bet."  "I
walked Fritz into the dressing room and we said goodbye after he
dressed. I'm anxious to get back thinking I can get involved with that one
boy. When I started back toward the pool, here they come, so I join them as
they passed. The black boy is between the two German boys. They stop at a
locker and get a towel. The black boy's still hard and they take turns
feeling it.

"When he sees me watching he says, "I'm Jacque, this is Freddie and
Herman."  "I'm Kent," I said, offering him my hand but Freddie guides my
hand onto Jacque's dick. It was smooth and the skin was so soft but his
dick was like steel. It was way different from Herbie's, not just because
it was black either. It didn't hurt the excitement any having two older
boys watching me.

"Freddie decided I'd felt Jacque for long enough. He wanted me to feel
him. It seems I'd gone beyond Herbie and Fritz at last and I found a new
excitement for my sprouting boyhood. I went from Freddie to Herman and back
to Jacque before someone decided we should shower. They had stalls like in
bathrooms. The shower was at the back of the stall.

"It all changed once the door was locked. Jacque ended up with a dick in
each hand. Mine wasn't one unfortunately. I was perfectly happy with all
the touchy feely shit but I wasn't prepared for the escalation. Jacque
turned to kneel in front of Herman.

"Freddie and I stared as Jacque's pink tongue flicking and flicking at the
tip of Herman's pink pole. Then, without warning, his lips were in the wiry
black cock hair. Freddie put is arm over my shoulder and moved me down
until my face was even with his crotch. I right away noticed this intense
smell coming from him. I let my face rub against it as he felt my face and
stared at Jacque's lips longingly. I knew what he wanted but I hadn't
gotten there yet.

"Damn! Freddie blurted out as Herman backed up against the door while
Jacque devoured him. He was panting and bucking, using the door for
support. Freddie moved away from me and squatted behind Jacque, humping his
back as he reached around him for his dick. Herman was squeaking and
blowing big air as he fought with Jacque's lips.

"Unexpectedly, Jacque spit out Herman in favor of Freddie's thicker, longer
version. He didn't have as much luck swallowing him, taking maybe two
thirds of it in the first attempt and that stretched his mouth wide the way
Herman's couldn't. Both of Freddie's knees bent seriously then as Jacque
shoved his hand up on his ass to keep him propped up. The fingers poked and
probed the tender pink hole.

"Herman complained about being deserted. Freddie rocked back and forth
while trying to feed Jacque more dick. He starts moaning and gasping and a
tacky liquid was leaking out of him as Jacque spit him out, turning back to
Herman.  In only a minute Herman's knees gave out and his ass slid down the
door with Jacque glued on him until he ended up seated in front of the
door. Herman's eyes were closed and his mouth was wide open as he sucked
air in a big way.

"Freddie got up and went into the shower. It's like we aren't there any
more for him. I watched him soap up his youthful body. Herman stands up and
unlocks the door and left. Jacque licked his lips and smiled at me. His
dick is shinning and the tip is drenched in the sticky film Herbie had
started yielding up during our nighttime play.

"I reached for it as he was watching Freddie. He was even stiffer and more
exciting than the first time I touched him. It pulsed as I felt the entire
thing. He encouraging me to do more but I still wasn't sure. He kept
pushing it at my face. I turned my head so it never touched my lips. I
decided to kiss it like I kissed Herbie's while he read his Playboy. Some
of the film was on my lips and I got another strong smell of sex.

"Freddie was watching us while he soaped up. It was then that Jacque got
into the shower stall behind him. He's taller by two or three inches but
his dick is perfectly situated to rest against Freddie's ass. He reached
around to take over the soaping of his dick. His hand and fingers are
moving slow over the front of the boy. While he's massaging Freddie's dick,
his dick finds its way firmly in the white crack.

"He bends his knees so he can slid it up the groove. Jacque soaped himself
up while Freddie leans back against him and is feeling the swollen black
boy dick. Freddie's older by some but his little boy body can't compare
with Jacque's shinny lean body. Even at twelve Jacque is more mature and he
obviously knows more about what his body can do.

"There was something about black on white that made the action easy to
follow. Each boy soaped up the other boy's dick. His black digits probed
between the white legs. He seemed alarmed when he was bent forward. I could
see the black digits probing the white butt. The contrast of skin color was
amazing to see. Freddie spit out words in a short sentence. His words were
sharp and unsure. Jacque spoke in soothing tones as he continued this new
operation. It sounded like he said he wasn't going to hurt him. He sure
wasn't stopping. Whatever he said it wasn't long before the fingers were
inside the smaller boy. He seemed to be working up to something.

"I watched as Jacque was massage soap into Freddie's stiff dick with one
hand while easing the second finger of the other hand up his butt
hole. Freddie seemed tentative. His body was tense as he leaned back
against Jacque and he recoiled just slightly once the second finger slipped
through.

"Then Jacque's pink tongue was in Freddie's ear as both of his hands went
onto his waist. Jacque pulled him down on his tip, easing it up inside him
until his ebony ball sac hung directly under Freddie's pink crack. They
leaned against one another and stood there like that for what seemed like
forever. There was no sign of any protest. I'd never seen anything like it.

"There were a hundred different expressions on Freddie's face and they
changed by the second. The hand starts slowly working his dick while using
it to slide him back and forth on the dick. Jacque put his arms around
Freddie's chest and held him against his body. The smaller boy trembled and
spoke a few soft pleasant words. Jacque answered in the same sweet tone. I
don't remember what they said, but it was neat to hear.

"Freddie's eyes were closed as Jacque nibbled on his neck while pumping his
dick. The moves became more deliberate until he was humping him at a good
clip. He's still holding him up by his chest. It took another minute for
them to seem like they were totally devoted to this new activity. That long
black dong became a blur about this time.

"It was then that Herman slipped back in through the door we had never
locked. He stopped dead as soon as he saw what Jacque was doing to his
friend. He was fully dressed now and looked fifteen or sixteen at
least. Herman went back to spitting out German words. He didn't seem all
that happy. Freddie answered him in the same tone. I couldn't pick much of
it up.

"Jacque laughed between gasps but it didn't slow him down and he was still
in high gear. To me it sounded like Herman said, if you had told me you
wanted to get fucked I'd have fucked you. Freddie turned his head to look
at Herman while Jacque rocked him with firm thrusts. I realized there was
something going on between them. I couldn't sure if it was jealousy or
anger but I'd have bet on jealousy.

"It was quite amazing by this time. Freddie leaned forward and put his
hands on his knees as Jacque went at it and the next thing I know Herman is
ripping off his clothes. He goes to Jacque and pulls him out of the shower
and he gets in. His dick looks absolutely angry, but I didn't get long to
look. He rammed it up Freddie's ass like a battering ram and never looked
back. He just went right to high gear and gave it to him really hard. It
took him all of a minute to finish the angry fuck. Freddie just stood for
it.

"Herman yanked on his clothes, spitting out more angry German words. In
another minute he was gone. Jacque had replaced him. Freddie and him were
going at it, picking up where they had left off without any difficulty. I
felt a bit sorry for Herman. His friend didn't seem to care how angry he
got. I thought there was a lot more going on between them than I had
thought.

"It didn't take long. They looked like a couple of dogs I'd seen fucking on
the lawn once. Jacque's hips jerked rapidly as he reached between Freddie's
legs to bring him along with him. Their bodies were fused tightly as the
slapping grew louder. All the sounds grew louder as they both seemed to be
concentrating for all they were worth, and then Jacque leaned back and
eased himself out. His dick immediately drooped down between his weakened
legs. It was over."

"You still get wired when you think about it," I said.

"Yeah, it was the first time I saw sex. What Herbie and I did was kids
play. I'd just learned all the moves at once. Now I'm all bound up thinking
about this."

Kent stood and flipped open his belt and pants. They stropped to the
floor. He stepped out of them and maneuvering himself in his boxers before
he dropped back down on the couch. My mouth had gone dry as I looked at his
thin shapely legs and how one leg in particular forced his boxers to bulge.

"I hate that," he said, reaching to put me under his arm again. "Where was
I?" He put his hand on where the leg of his boxers puffed out and he
squeezed in a way that outlined his erection and dickhead.

"The black boy just shot his load in the white boys butt," I reminded him.

"Yeah, here, let me have your hand. You can keep track of the story if you
hold onto my barometer."

I put out my hand and Kent took my wrist extending it through the opening
in his boxers. The first thing I felt was his wiry bush. I felt the solid
warm flesh after that. I let my fingers touch the shaft lightly as his legs
spread wide. I slipped my hand down until I could wrap my fingers around
him. He watched where my hand disappeared. I squeezed gently and nestling
my head back against his shoulder.

"You got nice hands," Kent said after I felt it for awhile.

"You got good dick," I said.

"You want we should go get comfortable. Herbie's entertaining Tommy
downstairs. They might come up to the kitchen but never in the
bedroom. Tommy needs to watch porn."

"What about the party?"

"Oh, Doug called. He's decided to go to the mountains."

"I talked to him last night. He didn't say anything to me."

"Yeah, well, he told me to tell you."

"What about the rest of your friends?" I asked.

"I forgot to ask anyone else. The one I wanted to come is here," he
said. "I'm afraid we'll have to make our own party."

"Cool," I said, following him into his bedroom.

"So how does Herbie fit into this swimming pool deal you're telling me
about?"

We settled onto the bed and I snuggled up close to him.

"Well, Jacque came out and stood in front of me. I felt his soft dick. I
peeled the skin back and checked the head and how the skin worked. He asked
if I had ever seen one that big. I told them Herbie's was way big. He asked
how big and I told him over nine inches. Both him and Freddie are laughing
about it. I tell them they can come over and see for themselves. They want
to take me up on it. Especially Freddie seems interested.

"I tell them no one is home but Herbie and they are even more anxious to
meet him under those circumstances. Herman protests when Freddie tells him
where he's going. He ended up coming along anyway."

"Herman loved Freddie," I said.

"Maybe. Didn't much matter to me then. Herman was a drag and Jacque and
Freddie were totally cool."

"They went home with you?"

"You hungry?" Kent asked. "I'm feeling funny about this. Let's get
something to eat."

"I had fries at El Rancho," I said.

"Yeah, come on. I said I wasn't going to let this happen. Sometimes I can't
stop myself."

He climbed out of the bed and out of my reach, buttoning up his shirt
before he turned around. He walked to the door and acted like he was
waiting for me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's not you Martin. It's me. I keep saying I'm not going to do this and
then I do it. I'm a kid. What can I say? I want immediate gratification
whenever its hard."

"What position? I wasn't doing anything I didn't want to do. I asked to
hear the story."

"I want to get to know you. Right off I'm getting you to feel my dick. It's
not how I wanted it to go. I pictured we would sit and talk and learn stuff
about each other."

"Sure," I said, following back toward the kitchen.

				   *****