Date: Thu, 21 Jun 2007 13:19:12 -0700 (PDT) From: Dylan Harris <ryanwest25@yahoo.com> Subject: Diving In Chapter 6 Diving In Chapter Six: Two Steps Forward and Three Steps Back Cameron wasn't sure if what he saw in front of him was actually happening, or if it was a daydream fantasy, but Matt's reaction confirmed that he actually was looking at James Winters kissing Mr. Reilly. Before Cameron could do or say anything, Matt grabbed his arm and pulled him down the hallway and out of the school. Once outside, Cameron looked at Matt who was in just as much shock as he was. "Were they just..." Cameron started. "Yeah." Matt answered before Cameron could even finish. "Do you think they saw us?" Cameron asked. He hoped that they hadn't because that would make for an awkward encounter with Mr. Reilly the next day. "I don't think so. I mean, the door was open. If I was having an illegal affair with a student, a male student no less, I would keep the door shut and locked. Right?" Matt smiled. Cameron was beginning to like the way Matt smiled. He had very white teeth that were contrasted against his tan skin, and the right side of his lip curved up more then the left side. "Yeah." Cameron smiled back. "So, what do we do now?" Cameron really wasn't sure what to do. Do they tell someone? Should he warn James? He really wasn't sure. "Let's just go back and chill at my house." Matt smirked again. "Wait, shouldn't we do something?" Cameron asked, shocked that Matt was taking this so lightly. "Nope." Matt smiled and then started to walk down the steps and away from the school. Cameron looked around and then quickly followed after him. The walk to Matt's house was short, but they talked the entire time. Cameron learned that Matt was actually quite funny. He found himself laughed the majority of the walk. The laughter helped Cameron forget what he had just seen. Once they arrived at the house, Matt yelled to see if anyone was home. When no one responded, they walked up the stairs and into Matt's room. Cameron didn't really know Matt very well, but when they entered his room, Cameron saw a little bit into the mystery that Matt had. Car posters decorated the room, and also different pictures of his friends were on the walls. Cameron studied them for a moment, while Matt sat down on the bed. "You know any of them?" Matt said, gesturing to the pictures of his friends. "Um, no not really. I think I've seen a couple of them around school, but that's about it." Cameron replied. "Come on over to the bed and talk to me, unless you find my friends more interesting." Matt smiled. "There's a really good looking friend of mine on the bottom row of pictures in the corner." Cameron looked to where Matt had gestured and found a picture of Matt making a funny face, with his eyeballs bulging and his tongue sticking out. "Gross. I can't believe that kiss me. I would've been better off with Marvin." Cameron joked. Cameron sat down on the bed next to Matt. "Oh really? Because I actually think I still have Marvin's number.." Matt joked and started to look through the drawer of his nightstand. "Oh yes, maybe he can come and rescue me!" Cameron joked back. "Oh, let's hope he can rescue you!" Matt stopped ruffling through his nightstand and turned his attention toward Cameron. He began to tickle Cameron and Cameron began to cry for help. "Sorry, I can't hear you!" "Stop please!!! Stoppp!!!" Cameron laughed uncontrollably. Matt was now on top of Cameron tickling him while Cameron writhed about underneath. Suddenly Matt did stop, and Cameron continued laughing for a moment but then meet Matt's eyes. They stared at each other, and Matt knelt down closer to Cameron's face. Cameron began to breathe heavily as Matt's lips slowly began to cover his own. Matt moved his hand to Cameron's face as they kissed. Cameron felt chills go all over his body. The kiss ended suddenly when Matt heard the door downstairs slam close. He rolled off of Cameron and accidentally fell onto the floor. Cameron tried not to laugh as Matt pulled himself up. "My mom's home. Sorry, I thought she'd be home later." Matt said. Matt stood up and collected himself, then turned to Cameron and said, "Come on." Cameron followed him down the stairs. They walked into the kitchen to see a middle-aged attractive woman unpacking groceries. She looked up to see Matt and Cameron coming into the kitchen. "Hey Mom, this is Cameron." Matt said. "Oh, hey! Nice to meet you! You can call me Lindsay." His mother said as she put forth her hand. Cameron shook it. "Nice to meet you." Cameron said. "So what are you boys up to?" Lindsay said as she started to unpack the groceries. "Just hanging out upstairs. You know." Matt said, leaning on the kitchen counter. "Very nice, very nice. Oh, sweetheart, guess who I saw today?" Lindsay exclaimed. "Um, Brittany Spears." Matt joked. Cameron smiled at Matt. "Close. No, I saw Jeremy! I haven't seen him in ages! Why doesn't he come over any more?" Lindsay asked. "No reason. What's for dinner?" Matt tried to change the subject. "Chicken parmesan. Cameron, you should stay for dinner." Lindsay offered. "No, sorry, I actually have to get going. Thank you so much though for the offer." Cameron realized that he did have to get home and do his homework. He said goodbye to Matt and his mother and then left. He realized that he had forgotten to call his mother to pick him up, and waited on the street corner for another twenty minutes because he felt it'd be too awkward to go back in Matt's house. As he sat there, he thought of many different things. He thought of his kiss with Matt, which made him get butterflies in his stomach. But then he thought of James, and he realized that James was gay. He also realized that he still had feelings for James, and suddenly felt somewhat guilty about the kiss with Matt. He knew that he would have to talk to James about what he saw. ........................................................................................................... James Winters was beginning to feel somewhat lonely. He was beginning to realize that Tom wasn't actually interested in anything from James emotionally, but it was purely physical. When he tried to bring this up to him, Tom just ignored him and said he had to get to a meeting. At practice, he had felt the emptiness starting to fill his stomach. He felt like he was drifting. Things were happening before him, but he wasn't paying much attention to them. He was decked out three times on the lacrosse field. By the time he got home, he felt not only empty but also his entire body was soar. He had to force himself out of bed when his mother called him to dinner. "So, how was your day?" Grace White asked James at the dinner table. "Fine." James answered sternly. Grace looked over at her husband, Trevor, concerned. "You okay, honey?" Grace asked. "Yeah." James said plainly. He then reached across the table and grabbed some more peas and added them to his plate. "Debby Downer over here." James' sister, Kate, joked. Kate was a senior at the high school, and modeled herself after her mother. She found popularity very important, and was proud that her brother was on the lacrosse team. "How was practice?" Trevor asked. It was very important to James' father that James worked hard on the lacrosse team so he could get into a good college. He loved his son, and just wanted him to give his all. "Good." James muttered. "We have a sleep away thing in two weekends." "Oh, that sounds like fun." Grace smiled. "Oh, and remember I have that country club fundraiser next week, so if you could try and get some of your friends to come that'd be great" Grace often held fundraisers at the country club. Although she liked to think it made her look generous, her real motivations for holding them was to gain social status. Grace was the social chair of the country club, and she had worked hard to get there. Suddenly James' phone rang, and he was fully prepared to turn in on silent when he saw that it was Cameron calling. "Sorry, I have to take this. It's for school." James ran up the stairs and flipped open his phone. "Hello?" "Hey, James. It's Cameron. Sorry, I got your number from the directory." Cameron explained. "Hey, no it's cool. What's up?" James asked. " I was thinking maybe we could get together to talk about the project." Cameron said. James found this kind of weird, especially because Cameron blew him off earlier that day. "Um, yeah sure. When do you want to meet?" James asked. "Can you meet in the parking lot in front of school in half an hour?" James was surprised by Cameron's question. He had expected Cameron to say "Friday" or "Tomorrow after school," not in half an hour, or in the parking lot for that matter. "In the parking lot?" James blurted. "Yeah, I can just give you some materials and stuff. Just come." Cameron told. "Okay, I'll meet you there." James said. James told his parents that he needed to get books from his locker and then went up to his room to get ready. He was very excited to meet Cameron, and he wanted to look good, but not like he got dressed just to come and see him. So he put on a t-shirt that made him look built, and a pair of sweats and walked out the door. The school was a fifteen-minute walk from his house, and he wanted to get there a little bit early. When James got there, he already saw Cameron leaning against a lamppost. He slowly approached him, and noted that Cameron didn't have any materials on him. James began to wonder why Cameron had really asked to meet him. Part of him suspected that Cameron might actually have feelings for him, but he tried to repress that thought. He didn't want to get his hopes up. "Hey," James said as he waved awkwardly. "Hi," Cameron said, standing up straight. "So, where are the materials?" James asked, smiling. His smile quickly faded when it was not returned. "Look, um..." Cameron began. "I saw you today." "I saw you too," James laughed. "No, I saw you...after school. When you were with Mr. Reilly..." Cameron said, looking down at the ground. James face suddenly got beat red and he began to panic. "Whatever you saw, you probably misunderstood. We were doing a project and..." James searched his brain for any excuse that he could think of. Everything began to spin, and he felt extremely dizzy. "James, it's okay." Cameron tried to reassure him, but James wasn't listening. James squatted on the ground and his head fell into his hands. Cameron knelt down next to him and rubbed his back. James began to cry. "James don't worry, seriously it's okay..." "What's okay?! That I'm a fucking fag!" James shrieked. "No, James. It's okay." Cameron said, still rubbing James' back. "Look...I am too." James suddenly lifted his head up and looked at Cameron. "What?" James asked, making sure he heard correctly. "I'm...I'm gay too." Cameron nervously repeated. "What do you mean?" James asked. "It's kind of self explanatory..." Cameron smiled. James smiled back at him, and for a moment, his emptiness subsided. ............................................................................................................ Travis immediately noticed something different in Cameron as he walked over to him. Travis usually went over to Cameron's locker to talk in the mornings and this morning he could tell something had changed in his attitude. He realized that Cameron suddenly seemed a lot happier. He tried to search his mind for a reason for this sudden change in emotion. "Who'd you fuck?" Travis asked as he approached Cameron's locker. "What?" Cameron smiled at Travis. "Who'd you fuck?" Travis repeated. Cameron looked somewhat confused by Travis' question. "You're all happy this morning, so I'm assuming you finally fucked someone. Who was it?" "I didn't 'fuck' anyone." Cameron said as he closed his locker. "I just had a good day yesterday, that's all." "Yeah, whatever. What are you doing after school?" Travis asked, deciding to stop pestering him about his good mood. "I'm meeting James to work on my Math project I think." Cameron replied as they started to walk down the hallway. "Who the fuck is James?" Travis asked, trying to search his mind for one of their friends named James. "James Winters. I'm working on a Math project with him. Why? Did you want to do something?" Cameron asked. "No, just wondering." Travis told. He actually did want to hang out, but he decided not to say anything. As they continued to walk down the hallway, he saw Marissa Tampa getting a drink of water at the water fountain. He turned to Travis and said, "Hey, I'll catch up with you later," and then proceeded to run to catch up with Marissa. "Hey, what's up?" He said as soon as he reached her. She looked over at him for a second, then realized he was the boy she had had a meltdown in front of the day before and began to feel somewhat embarrassed. "Hi," was all she said back. "Look, um, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school or something," Travis smiled at her. She thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, sure." She said, which surprised Travis very much. He hadn't expected her to actually say yes. "Alright, cool. I'll meet you where, you know, you cried yesterday." He blurted, and then walked away, leaving Marissa to look around and make sure that no one heard him. .......................................................................................................... Alex arrived at the library where she and Kevin had agreed to meet that morning when he waited at her locker. They discovered that they both had seventh period free, and decided to meet then. Alex wasn't really sure how she felt about meeting with Kevin. Although he had surprised her by taking such initiative with the project, she knew what type of guy he was. He was the epitome of everything she hated, or at least that's what she told herself as he walked in the library looking very hot. She waved over to where she was sitting, but he still didn't see her. Not wanting to get up she screamed "Hey asshole," which certainly got his attention, as well as the librarian's who gave her a dirty look. He sat down directly across from her. "Hey, sorry, I couldn't see you." Kevin apologized. "It's fine." Alex muttered, and then pulled out her Math textbook and flipped to a page with the title The Golden Triangle. "I was thinking we could do something with this. I started researching it last night, and I found a bunch of information in the textbook and online." "Cool, whatever." Kevin smiled. Alex tried to ignore his cute dimples that accompanied his wide smile. She wanted to keep this purely focused on The Golden Triangle. She didn't want to think about anything else. Not the way his biceps were huge, or the way his eyes always seemed to be focused on her, or the way- she caught herself mid thought and quickly stopped. "Okay, I'm going to go and work on the computer and you can start looking for stuff in the textbook." She said and started to get up, but was quickly stopped by Kevin's hand, which grasped her arm, sending chills up and down her arm. "What?" "Wait, don't you think we'd work better if we worked together?" Kevin asked. "What kind of logic is that?" Alex snapped. She was purposely being a bitch to try to distance herself from him. She didn't want to get involved with him. She knew exactly what kind of guy he was. He got with a different girl after every game and she didn't want to be one of those bimbo's. Then again, that sounded a little bit like Travis. "I don't know." Kevin laughed. "I just wanted to work next to you." He said and began to rub her arm up and down. "Wow." Alex moaned and began to walk away. "What?!" Kevin called after her. He got out of his chair and began to follow her, but she didn't turn around. "Hey, what the fuck is your problem?" That got her to turn around. "You know what my problem is?! You!" She began to yell, but quieted her voice to a whisper when she got another dirty look from the librarian. "You go around thinking girls are just play things for you to fuck. Some girls want that. Not me. So if you want to work with me on this project without trying to hit on me then great, otherwise I can do it myself." With that, she turned around and walked towards the computers. Kevin, stunned by Alex's little speech, stood there for a moment, but then walked back to the desk and started to look up The Golden Triangle. .......................................................................................................... Cameron waited in the library after school, waiting for James. They had decided to meet in the library for twenty minutes to just make a plan for the project. Cameron was then going to Matt's house. As he sat in one of the chairs in the library, he did feel somewhat guilty about hanging out with both James and Matt. But he convinced himself that he and James were just friends. He and Matt had kissed, twice actually, and him and James had done nothing. Also, James was making out with Mr. Reilly. So, he actually didn't feel that guilty, but he knew that he did feel something for James. Right now, he just wanted him and James to be friends. And that's all they were, just friends. Cameron started to write down different subject topics for their project. He was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but then realized it was James. He sat down next to Cameron smiling. "Hey sorry, I couldn't open my locker." James explained. "I literally was trying to open my locker for like five minutes, and then I realized I was trying to open someone elses locker. I'm an idiot." Cameron smiled. "Yeah, that's pretty stupid," Cameron laughed. He still felt somewhat nervous around James. Maybe it was the fact that he used to have a crush on him, or the fact that he hung out with all the 'popular' kids, or maybe it was the fact that he still kind of did have a crush on him. Either way, he tried to get over his awkwardness. "So, I made a list of topics that we could do." "Okay cool," James said and then took a look at the list. "I don't know what half of these things are," he laughed. "Yeah, me neither," Cameron smiled. "I just looked up popular topics last night and this is what I saw." James seemed to get a little uncomfortable even with the mention of the night before. They hadn't gotten to talk much after Cameron admitted he was gay. In fact, almost immediately after Cameron's mom had called and said she was coming to pick him up. But, they couldn't really talk about it in the library. "My sister did Fractal's I think, I might be able to get some information from her," James said. "Okay, cool." Cameron said. "Now, when can we meet?" "Um, well I have practice every day pretty much after school. What period do you have study hall?" James asked. "Second." Cameron told. "Yeah, I have it third. Maybe we can meet once or twice a week at night? I don't know, that's the only thing I can really think of." James proposed. "Yeah, that works for me," Cameron agreed. "Okay, I actually have to get to practice, but, um, I'll call you later tonight to try and figure out when we can meet." James said as he started to get up. "Okay, yeah sounds good." Cameron said. Cameron was upset that the meeting had been so brief, but he was excited for the phone call later tonight. But he was even more excited to head over to Matt's house. ....................................................................................................... James had lied to Cameron when he said that he was going to practice. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie, he just wasn't telling the 100% truth. James actually was going over to practice, but he wasn't going directly to practice. First, he was going to Tom Reilly's room, where he had scheduled a meeting with him. He arrived at the room to see Tom sitting in his chair. This was actually the first time that James had arrived after Tom. Tom was grading papers, but as soon as he saw James enter the room he got up and gave him a kiss. He then closed the door behind him and proceeded to kiss James. However, James pushed Tom, forcing him to stop kissing him. "Tom, we need to talk," James said. Tom was somewhat surprised by the words that came out of James' mouth. He and James had done a lot of things together, but talking was not one of those things. "What's up?" Tom asked, kind of annoyed. He actually was supposed to meet with a doctor concerning his new baby, and he didn't have a lot of time to mess around. "Look," James started," I don't think we should do this anymore." Tom was taken aback by James' words. He hadn't expected such a thing. "What?! Why not?!" Tom asked, concerned. "I thought we had a good thing going!" James was very nervous. He was scared to even talk to Tom let alone end their relationship, if you could even call it that. "I just don't want to do it anymore. Sorry, but you don't even really know me." James said. "I know, but I thought we just wanted to keep this purely sexual." Tom said. "No, that's what you wanted," James reminded him. "Look, I understand that you don't want to end this. I really do. But, I really just can't do this anymore." "Well, then I hope you know what your getting yourself into." Tom raised his voice. "I mean, for one, you're a little fucking fag. Eventually your going to have to tell people, and no one will want to hang out with you. You'll be alone." James wasn't really sure how to respond to Tom's cutting remarks, so he just turned around and walked away. He began to wonder how true his remarks were, but then he reminded himself that he still had Cameron, and suddenly became excited about their phone call. ............................................................................................................ Marissa waited for Travis exactly where he said to. She wasn't exactly sure why she had agreed to meet Travis, but part of her found him interesting. He was cute, but that wasn't why she agreed to meet him. She wanted someone to hang out with that wasn't one of her old bitchy friends. She wanted someone to about anything. She needed to get her mind off of Kieran. As she stood waiting, Megan O'Halloran approached her. Marissa wanted to walk away from her, but she didn't want to miss Travis, so she just stood there. "Okay, what is your problem?" Megan said as she walked toward her. " What?" Marissa pretended to be oblivious. "Don't try that shit with me. What is your problem? You've been avoiding everyone for weeks. You haven't talked to me at all. You don't go out with us anymore. I really don't know what's gotten into you." Megan snapped. "I think I'm just over you guys." Marissa mumbled. "What?" Megan said with her hand on her hip. "I said I think I'm over you guys. I'm over being a bitch to anyone who's not a cheerleader or a jock. I'm over you all and your petty little bitchy games. You think everyone wants to be you, but your just pathetic. Life is too short to waste time on people like you." Marissa said. Travis had walked up to Marissa just in time to hear the end of her rant. "Sorry, am I interrupting..." Travis started. "Come on, let's go." Marissa grabbed his hand and pulled him out the front doors of the school. Once outside, she turned to face him. "Sorry, I just didn't want to deal with her." "Looked like you already dealt with her." Travis smirked. "Yeah," Marissa said. "So, what are we doing?" "Follow me," Travis said and grabbed her hand. Travis led her to the same spot that he had smoked at in the woods the other day. Marissa was somewhat sketched out by the location, but decided to just go with it. "Do you smoke?" "No, but I'm up for new things." She said and smiled at Travis. Marissa had actually never smoked pot before. She had drank a lot, but never smoked. Travis pulled out a plastic bag and a pre-rolled joint. He pulled it out, and lit it up. After taking a hit himself, he passed it over to Marissa. She looked at it for a moment, then put it in between her two lips and inhaled. She immediately coughed for a few seconds, but after a few more hits she realized that she enjoyed smoking pot. ......................................................................................................... Cameron had stopped at his locker briefly to get some books, but then started to walk over to Matt's house. On his way over, he wondered about Matt. He wasn't sure if Matt had ever had a boyfriend or been with a guy before. He knew that Matt had gone to the teen club where they met a couple of times, but other than that he didn't know. As he approached his house, he suddenly felt nervous about his experience with guys. He was scared that Matt had been with a bunch of guys, and he would see Cameron as inexperienced. His fears were calmed as soon as Matt opened the door with a big smile on his face. "I was wondering when you were coming," Matt smirked. He escorted Cameron up the stairs and into his room. "My mom will be home later this time." "Cool, cool." Cameron said nervously. "So, how was your day?" Matt asked. Cameron wondered if he should mention everything that had been happening with James, but then decided against it. He knew that James was insecure with his homosexuality, and he was sure that James didn't want him telling anyone. "It was pretty good, boring, but this little visit might help a little bit." Cameron smiled. "Help? I've actually been dreading this visit all day..." Matt joked. Cameron smiled and met Matt's eyes. For once, Cameron leaned in and kissed Matt lightly on the lips. Matt put his hands on Cameron's hips and pushed him down on the bed. Matt thrust his tongue into Cameron's mouth, but he did so gently. He slowly moved from Cameron's mouth to Cameron's neck and began to suck on it. Cameron began to feel his erection growing in his pants, and he began to feel embarrassed. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to get erect by just kissing, and he tried to hide it by moving over a little bit, but Matt moved back on top of him. Cameron didn't feel embarrassed anymore when he felt Matt's erection growing against his thigh. Cameron moved his hands to the bottom of Matt's shirt and moved up, rubbing his hands against his back. He felt his bare back with both of his hands, while Matt began to move his hand up Cameron's cargo shorts and rubbed his thigh. Cameron was crawling up Matt's back with his hands, and when he reached his shoulders he began to remove Matt's shirt. Matt helped take off his own shirt, but then went back to kiss Cameron. Cameron opened his eyes to look at Matt's body. Matt was pretty thin, but he was still toned. His chest was bare and flat, and just as tan as the rest of him. Matt moved and took off Cameron's shirt and studied his body the way Cameron had studied his. Cameron was in shape, he didn't work out but he still had a good body naturally. He had a happy trail leading down from his belly button. Matt began to rub Cameron's bare chest as he kissed him. He then moved his hands and began to trace the line of Cameron's boxers with his fingers. He started to move underneath his shorts, but then stopped for a second and looked at Cameron. "Are you okay?" Matt asked. Cameron had no problem with what Matt was about to do, and smiled to let him know so. So, Matt continued and unzipped Cameron's cargo shorts and pulled them off, leaving only Cameron's boxers. Cameron felt embarrassed by his erection that was now very obvious in his boxers. But, he felt less embarrassed when Matt reached into his boxers and touched it. Cameron jumped a little when Matt grabbed onto his erection. No one besides his left hand had ever touched it before, but Cameron definitely liked it. Matt began to slowly move his hand up and down Cameron's dick. Cameron had never felt such a good feeling in his life. He had obviously jerked off before, but someone else had never done it. Matt moved Cameron's boxers down a little bit to get a better look at Cameron's dick. Cameron was about seven inches. His happy trail led to light brown hairs at the base of his penis. Cameron let out a soft moan as Matt continued to jerk him off. Cameron wanted to hold off from coming for as long as possible, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. He came all over his own chest. Cameron panted, out of breath, but his heavy breathing was stopped by Matt's lips over his. He realized that this was the start of his first relationship. .......................................................................................................... James had been waiting to call Cameron. He didn't want to call too early, and he didn't want to call too late. So he decided on eight O'clock. For the past half-hour, he'd been counting down the minutes till that time. He was trying to figure out what to say and how to act. But when the clock hit eight exactly, he picked up his cell phone and called Cameron's cell phone. "Hello?" Cameron answered. "Hey, it's James." James said. "Oh, hey, yeah. I was actually just about to call you. So yeah, what days are you free this week?" Cameron asked. "Yeah, I think I'm actually free Thursday and Friday." James told. "Okay, cool. I think I'll be free also. So you can come over and we can figure it out and stuff." Cameron said. "Yeah," James said and then hesitated for a moment. "Actually, I was thinking Friday maybe we could see a movie or something after we study. Or before. Whatever works." "Oh..." Cameron said then paused. "Like a date?" "Um...yeah I guess so," James nervously laughed. He wasn't used to being so nervous. Usually with girls he didn't even care how he sounded, but now, he was thinking about every word. "What about Mr. Reilly..." Cameron started. "I, um, ended that. Today actually," James said more confidently. He was still extremely nervous, and each moment Cameron delayed giving him and answer he got increasingly more scared. "Oh..." Cameron paused, "Look, um, I'm actually kind of seeing someone right now. I actually just started..." "Oh, really? That's cool..." James suddenly felt embarrassed. "Yeah...no, like if it were different..." Cameron started. "No, yeah, absolutely. I'll see you tomorrow." James quickly hung up the phone and collapsed on his bed feeling like an idiot. He then began to think about Tom's words: "You are going to be alone." And suddenly, he realized that Tom was one-hundred-percent right. Thank you so much for reading and please e-mail me at ryanwest25@yahoo.com with questions, comments and suggestions. Thanks again, and I hope you continue reading.