Date: Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:44:06 -0700 (PDT)
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: DYLAN'S DILEMMA      PART 14a... CONCLUSION (1 of 2)  by Donny Mumford

	     DYLAN'S DILEMMA.... PART 14a CONCLUSION (1 of 2)

				Chapter One


I'd changed clothes and washed up after getting home from work. This has
been the most bizarre Thursday ever for me... a most bizarre day, period!
Trying not to over-think todays hard-to-believe occurrences, I'm sitting on
the front steps smoking while waiting for Chubby and Ms Oberbite to show-up
so we can continue our student driver training. I was thinking how glad I
am to have this driver training activity to keep my mind off you-know-what.

Chubby was taking a quick shower and Ms Oberbite isn't due for another
couple of minutes.  It made me grin imagining that this very moment she may
be powdering that huge red nose of hers, or maybe she was swallowing nasty
pills, or perhaps working up a sweat struggling to fit into her moo-moo. My
mind wandered around from one thing to another and as much as I tried to
prevent it, the you-know-what thing, Joel's accident, continually overrode
other thoughts and popped-up in the forefront of my mind... I tried to push
it away because it was so new, so overwhelming. If only I hadn't been right
there at the scene of the crime... er, the scene of the accident, I mean.
Ya know, if I'd just heard about it maybe then I'd be able to deal with it
better.  Bad luck put me the closest one to Joel when it happened and
consequently I was there staring at his unconscious body seconds after it
had been thrown from the mower. His leg had obviously been whacked by the
rotating steel blade as the mower rolled over him.  I'm astonished at the
brutality of that real life picture right there in front of me, that
hideous visual seared into my brain. The flab of muscle and skin from his
leg flopped to the side exposing a deep slicing cut near Joel's ankle,
bleeding like you wouldn't believe.  A sickening glimpse of white bone was
visible through all the blood and gore. The horror of it made me look away
quickly only to see the ride-on mower, seemingly a living breathing
monster, pin-wheeling over and over down the steep slope of the lawn with
it's razor sharp blade circling so fast it was almost invisible, making
that weird whirring sound like something out of a horror movie. That scene,
coupled with Joel's inhuman scream, the initial scream Joel made as the
blade sliced through his leg like a hot knife through butter, then the dead
silence that followed as he feinted from shock and pain... altogether,
those things created a daytime-nightmare in my mind. And, that thought made
me wonder what part of my brain had taken over my senses allowing me to do
something useful like applying the tourniquet. In retrospect it's almost
incomprehensible that I did what I did, the brain is a mysterious thing,
isn't it....  Maybe recalling some of Joel's cruel treatment of me would
help get me over this sick feeling I'm having about his injury... on the
other hand, perhaps it's too soon for that. Right now the obscene picture
of blood, tissue and bone was still too vivid... too horrendous.  It kinda
reminded me of the terrible pictures of car crash victims strewn on the
highway that the "sicko driver instructors" had made us look at in the
first Drivers Training class a week or so ago.


Chubby's voice interrupts my thoughts, "Whatcha thinking about, dude?" I'm
like, "What?  Huh?  Oh, hi Chubby.  No nothing, whasssup with you?"  It's
odd that I didn't immediately tell Chubby about Joel's, ah... misfortune.
Way back at the beginning of the summer I'd just started my job at Dickers
Landscaping and Design when Joel first beat me up... I'd confessed all the
details to Chubby right away, looking for sympathy I guess. Back then we'd
decided to pay Joel a visit after my job was done for the summer. We were
going to get revenge on Joel for beating me up. Chubby was planning on
hitting Joel over the head with something first, maybe a steel pipe or a
baseball bat... and then he and I would wade in swinging our fist and so
forth. The hit on the head was to even the odds... kind of like Dodger
giving Chubby a head-start in their swimming races, or maybe a handicap
like they have in golf. You know, so we both wouldn't get our asses handed
to us while we attempted paying Joel back for that time he knocked me out
with that humongous slap across my face. I remember the sick feeling I had
as I came out of my momentary unconscious state, laying on those dirty
steps like a drunken bum, and then throwing up in the hedges next to the
steps. Gross!  OK, these thoughts are more like it...  I'm feeling more
sorry for myself now and less sorry for that prick Joel with each rotten
thing I remember him doing to me. In this frame of mind I wanted to share
the latest Joel news with Chubby, so I say, "Oh, wait'll you hear this,
Dude... something really weird happened at work today.  You remember me
telling you about Joel, right?" Chubby reached into my top shirt pocket to
get my Marlboro Lights, asking... "Joel?  Who the fuck's Joel?"  I light
Chub's cigarette for him and remind him of who the fuck Joel is. "Oh yeah,
we're going get that asshole.  Now I remember him.  Did he do something
else to you?" I gave a synopsis of the accident without inferring it was
anything but an accident. Chubby had forgotten who Joel was because after
that first violent act of Joel's, I never told Chub about any of the
subsequent stuff Joel did to me.  I didn't feel right telling Chubby
because Joel's mistreatment of me became too humiliating to talk about, and
it got to be too "homo-oriented" also.

Chubby didn't need to hear about all the other horrible things Joel did,
the original beating was enough to have Chubby looking for blood so when he
hears about the accident he pumps his fist and goes, "Yes! There is justice
in the world, once in a while anyways." He wanted to hear about every
little gruesome detail. He was pissed off when I told him Joel passed-out,
"He deserved to feel more pain, that prick!  The way he bitch-slapped you
and almost broke your skinny neck.  Yo, when he was just laying there on
the side of that hill with no one else around... dude, you should have
stepped on his nuts or something... kick him in the balls, break a finger,
or something. You know, he'd feel that pain later, when he came to". Oddly,
this conversation was making me feel better about the whole thing.  Joel
did deserve some pay-back, didn't he?  He didn't get it bad enough from the
incident... afterall, the bastard's in no danger of dying, and until he
heals he'll be collecting his regular pay from workman compensation just
sitting on his ass at home doing nothing except planning torture sessions
for innocent, sweet boys like yours truly. Fuck him!

In my mind I started formulating scenarios that got me feeling less and
less concerned about Joel's injury; like thinking how Joel had actually
gotten off easy with that accident... easy compared to what Chubby and I
would have done to him and easy compared to what he'd done to me. Because
of the accident I won't get the chance to kick his ass, with Chubby's help
of course, and with the help of that baseball bat over his head and all.
Hmmmm, can't help but wonder how that would have turned out?  But hell, in
the accident Joel felt only an instant of pain which he probably won't even
remember, and then he feinted from it, the pussy. And, what'd he say to me
yesterday? Something about he was looking forward to Saturday night when
I'd be doing a lot of screaming and begging, maybe he said I'd be crying
too... well, there ain't gonna be no fucking Saturday night, Joel. Maybe
you should take better care of that ride-on mower of yours. Check the
fucking nuts and bolts once in awhile. Interrupting this ridiculous line of
rationalized thinking, I spotted a red Ford with a big STUDENT DRIVER sign
on top pulling up. Chubby mumbles "This is probably our instructor". I go,
"Duh, ya think?" Chubby grins and pinches my ear hard as he flicks his
cigarette butt in a high arching line that guided it out of sight down a
drainage opening along the curb on the other side of the street.  My eyes
were wide watching the flight of it, I murmured, "Ohhh, nice flick" but
Chubby was already heading down the steps.  After only a second's
contemplation of duplicating that flick I decided against it and stepped on
my butt, then kicked it off the step. I don't know where the hell it ended
up.  Hope it was out.

Ms Oberbite got out of the car demanding our learners permits . I showed
her mine, then she got royally pissed-off when Chubby comically said,
"Oops, I'll be right back" as he was scampering up the steps leaving me
there trying to make small talk with Ms Personality. "Ah, nice afternoon
for a drive" I stammered. She gave me a look as if I'd just called her a
fat cunt, she says, "You being a wise guy, or what?" I'm like, "Huh?  No,
I... the summer is nice, ya know? Maybe too hot, or that is..."  This woman
can really stare hard at you and it was totally disconcerting.  I looked up
the steps hoping to see Chubby as she says, "I do not tolerate being
ridiculed, Romero... this will be reflected in your grade. You don't drive
until I say you drive." Trying to look contrite, I'm thinking, has this
bitch ever ridden a ride-on mower?  Maybe I'll ask Robbie to get one ready
for her.  Instead of that, I say, "It's Newman, ma'am. Not Romero" and
then, de'ja' vu all over again, Chubby jumps down the last three steps
waving his learners permit.  "Somebody call my name" he says, with his
million dollar smile.  I have to smile with him whenever Chubby shows that
smile.  Ms Oberbite gawked at the smile and held up both hands yelling,
"Enough!  You two think you're funny, but driving is serious business so
wipe those silly grins off your faces.  You..." pointing at me, "get behind
the wheel.  You..." pointing at Chubby, "let me see the learners permit and
then get in the backseat and no more horsing around".  We got settled and
the next two hours went better then you'd think considering the start.  I
drove great and then so did Chubby.  We were back at the condos two hours
later, on the dot.  Ms Oberbite does not believe in passing out kudos, but
she didn't snap our heads off either.  She said, "At your experience level
now you may choose to go out for two hours of straight driving just to
fulfill requirements.  Do it one at a time, if you want."  Then, just like
that, she drove away... no "parting is such sweet sorrows" goodbye, just
slam the car door and drive away. She's a charming woman.  Chubby, frowning
as he stared at her retreating car goes, "Big deal, it says that right in
the drivers manual and she tries to make it seem like she's doing us a
favor. You want to go out with her for two hours alone, Dylan? I don't
think I do."  We were walking up our condos front steps, I said, "Alone for
two hours with Ms Bitch?... no thanks. Whats for dinner?"

We had frozen pizza.  If you bake a frozen pizza in a very hot oven, it's
fine.  Nice crisp crust and all, but in a microwave... yuck, it sucks!
Taste like cardboard when you cook it in a microwave on that silver disc
they tell you to use. We put a whole frozen pizza each in the oven, and two
Pepsis in the freezer to get wicked cold. While the pizzas were baking we
went out to have a cigarette.  I go, "Chub, how bout we do our shaving
stuff tonight. It's not time to stop doing that yet, is it?" Chubby rubbed
my flattop and said, "Yeah, OK bro, if ya want to. Hey, I meant to ask ya,
whats with these flattops you keep getting? You got another one last
Tuesday, right?" I told him it was my last one, that my bud Willie and me
had a bet that I wouldn't get another flattop and blab blab blab... Chub
said, "You are lying again. Liar!" and he laughed, adding "How come you lie
so much... and why don't I ever get to hang out with you and your new bud?"
I said, "That's easy, you're always hanging out with Ricky". "Only on
Saturday nights, Tuesday nights I could hook up with you guys" Chub mumbled
that, I could tell he was losing interest in the topic so I let it fade
away.  It's just one more reason that soon I'm going to need to tell Chubby
I'm gay and explain that Willie is not simply by new "buddy" but is
actually my boyfriend... or, that Robbie's my boyfriend.  One of them, I
can't tell him both of them are my "boyfriends", can I?  Oh shit, I really
dread "coming out" to Chubby. Maybe Joel wasn't my only problem afterall.
Isn't it a bitch that as soon as the biggest problem in your life is
resolved, another one steps right up to take it's place. At this rate,
during my whole lifetime, I'll be in a constant state of worry, if not
about one thing, then about another ... damn, ain't the life of a gay teen
in-the-closet just great! Oh well, Chubby said OK to the shaving stuff
tonight so I'll concentrate on that hot topic and forget my worries about
other things for a while.

We ate our pizzas, swapping slices... Chubby's was mushroom, mine pepperoni
and both were good. We talked about stuff, nonsensical stuff mostly.
That's relaxing to do, BSing about little things in our lives that really
don't matter too much. Chubby still couldn't get over Robbie smoking pot
and especially because Robbie rolled his own which just didn't seem like
Robbie at all, "which reminds me, Dylan" Chubby says, "did you know the
Declaration of Independence was written on marijuana paper?" With a
mouthful of pizza I go, "No shit, were the founding fathers high at the
time they signed it, or what?"  Chubby shook his head with fake disgust
saying, "You don't know your history, dude.  They wrote it on hemp which is
what you roll a joint in."  I go, "ya don't say".  Chubby picked-up a piece
of my pizza and took a bite, then with a full mouth says, "I'm sure you're
aware that most brands of lipstick contain fish scales".  He's looking at
me with raised eyebrows as he chewed, trying to get me to tell him he's
full of shit, but I know almost every factoid he spouts out is accurate so
I just stare back at him and mutter, "Eeeeewww" and we both laughed.  It
don't take much to get us to laugh. Sometimes I stop and make myself
appreciate what I have in Chubby.  Hardly anyone has a best friend they've
known from the day they were born, or a best friend they get to see almost
every day of their life, who they get along with better then anyone they
know, and who it's so much fun to be with, and who they just plain love,
and who they know loves them right back.  It's not something to take for
granted, but that's what happens in life many times; we complain about our
bad luck, and take our good luck as our due. Just looking up and seeing
Chubby 'there', wherever "there" might be, is a thrill for me. He's like my
identical twin, except we look nothing alike.  Grinning to myself, feeling
warm and safe somehow, Chubby continues with a few more factoids but when
he wasn't getting the response he was looking for from me, he switched to
other topics like the Red Sox, and the kind of car we were going to buy,
and how quickly the summer had gone by.  It was wonderful sharing this part
of my life with Chubby.

Finished with the pizzas finally, and then the kitchen clean-up, we ambled
down to the my finished basement and went directly into the half bath to do
our silly shaving ritual that we'd mostly been doing since puberty. How
many times have we done this I wondered. Many, many times, but not nearly
enough; that's the answer I gave myself. I love to be intimate with Chubby
and this shaving routine represents the majority of the intimate
experiences we have together.  We use to give each other haircuts too, but
that task got taken-over by others when we got our part-time jobs... jobs
that became full-time in the summer. No haircuts anymore but still, in
addition to the shaving, we have a few other intimate activities... like
watching TV close together, and occasionally a hugging-oriented wrestling
match. Well, that's about it, except we do our quick hug thingie a
lot... you know, "hello hug", "goodnight hug", "great-job hug",
"congratulation hug", "it'll-be-OK hug", and so on. I keep thinking up new
reasons to hug. Chubby looks puzzled at times, but he goes along with most
everything I come up with.  Hey, he loves me too...  just not in the same
way I love him.

Chubby was telling me something about his boss Rickie as he casually pulled
down his cargo shorts and jockey underwear.  I watched more than listened
and then there it was, his four inch cock with that fat head that I've
recently developed this urgent desire to suck. Then a thought made me smile
to myself, it's got to be a Guiness Book Of Records record that one boy, in
this case me, would have three best buddies all with four inch penises. And
I may be giving them the benefit of the doubt saying their dicks are four
inches long.  I'm not being mean, the size of their dicks doesn't bother
them and doesn't bother me either.  It use to bother Chubby when he was
thirteen or fourteen, he use to bitch about how small his was all the time
back then, but not since then. Of course, I've seen his cock when he was
one year old, it was tiny then too, and same for every year since then...
and it's, yep, still tiny.  I joke to myself, but never to Chubby.  He's
over it, like he's also finally over being short which he use to bitch a
lot about too, but what can ya do? Make the best of it, that's what they
all do.  The bottom line is like I said, none of the small penis lads seem
to care very much about it now and, four inches or three-and-a-half inches,
no matter to me... whatever the size, I'd like to suck each one for,
oh... how about an hour.  By the way, I already know a four inch boner
feels very fine up my ass because that little pecker Dodger ambushed me in
the pool that time and stuck his up mine.  And, now that I think about it,
actually Carl's wasn't a hell of a lot longer that four inches
either... his felt very fine up my ass too.

Anyway, Chubby's standing in front of me in the half bath, his compact
package now swinging between his legs as he talked about Ricky, and the
thing I've been noticing of late is that he doesn't have the disdain in his
voice when talking about Rickie, not anything like he use to have. Chubby
appears to have admiration for him now, it seems to me that's what it is
anyway... admiration, or something like that.  That's one more mystery to
think about.  I can't imagine Chubby being submissive to anyone except
that's sort of what it's beginning to sound like.  It sounds like Chubby
has deferred to Rickie about everything and now he's gotten himself
brainwashed into sorta bragging about how cool Rickie is.  This is
troubling to me, but should it be?  Am I jealous of Rickie's "control" over
Chubby?  Or should I say, Rickie's influence on Chubby. "Influence", that's
a better word.  It's like the influence Larry has with Willie.  It makes
Willie act like a fool at times.  If Willie didn't have that negative
influence from Prep school... the Larry and Charles type influence, I
wonder what he'd be like.  Probably a lot like me and maybe that's what I
see in him... he over compensates for his lack of self confidence to be his
true self with an imitation of Larry... most of it coming across as false
bluster that has me trying hard not to grin at times. Occasionally it's fun
and actually I kind of like some of the ways Willie tries to act dominant,
it creates a tiny buzz in my balls. What the hell, I love him and wish
somehow he, Robbie, and I could all get together... a happy threesome.  I
know that's stupid, but that's what I wish would happen.  Of course,
wishing Chubby would ever be included in that scenario is too big a stretch
for even me to contemplate.

Chubby, standing naked in front of me, reaches over to knock on my forehead
lightly with his knuckles, saying... "Anybody home? You're spacing out
again, Bro..."  I smiled at him and mumble, "Ah, it's the accident.
Gruesome to see... even if Joel did deserve it.  Hey, you and Ricky seem to
be getting along OK now. What's up with that?"  I turned on the hot water
spigot to let it run until it warmed-up as Chubby goes, "Yeah, I told ya
before, I changed my attitude and agreed that Rickie was right and I was
wrong, that's all.  He's a good guy and pretty much a fair boss, I guess.
I do what he says and life is much easier that way.  That's all there is to
it, dude. Rickie's actually cool when ya get to know him."  Soaking a
washcloth in the warm water and then wringing out the excess I squatted
down to begin wetting Chubby's legs before applying the shaving cream. I
say off-handedly, "He ever make you do anything you didn't want to do?"
Chubby's body stiffened and he snaps out, "What do you mean by that,
Dylan?"  Chubby has perfectly formed legs, not muscle-bound, but just the
right amount of definition and muscle tone... great to feel, and they look
real nice too... hot! They appear longish as compared to his torso which is
strange because Chubby is kinda short overall. I love applying the shaving
cream and tonight I was using both hands, feeling his leg from the ankle
all the way up to his scrotum. The knuckles on the back of my hand would
push his nut sac over each time I got my hands up far enough to get lather
next to the base of his cock. When I shave his legs I also shave the lower
part of his pubes. After his legs, I'll do his pubes as a separate project,
stretching-out the whole process as long as I dare.  Keeping my voice
casual, I answered Chub's response about Rickie by saying, "Oh, I don't
know... anything, really. There must be aspects of working for Rickie you
don't like.  I just wondered what they are, that's all.  What does Rickie
make you do that you wish you didn't need to do for him? Like that..."
Chubby, in an irritated manner says, "Are you giving me a leg massage or
putting on shaving cream?  Jesus! You've been fondling my leg for ten
minutes." I accidentally-on-purpose got shaving cream on the head of his
penis and as I rubbed it with my fingertips pretending to clean off the
shaving cream I say, "Yo! Don't get grumpy with me, Chubby. I had a tough
day... remember, dude?"  I was kneeling on the floor in front of him while
spreading the shaving cream and my expression as I looked up to him was a
parody of pathetic... Chubby mussed my hair a little and said, "Sorry,
dude.  I forgot about your trauma... I owe you a hug"... but he never did
address the Rickie question.

I didn't press it any further, it was obvious Chubby wasn't going to tell
me anything.  Instead I just enjoyed the intimate nature of the process at
hand. It got my mind totally off the accident too.  Even after all these
years I can get absorbed in Chubby very easily. Sometimes I get so absorbed
I feel an actual ache in my stomach, not an imaginary ache, I get a real
one from my longing to do something, anything, overtly gay with Chubby.
I'd occasionally get that ache in past years too but didn't know what
caused it until I realized I was gay myself, then the ache made more sense
to me. I know now that it was because I longed for Chubby in a sexual way
and, even though that makes me feel dirty sometimes, I can't just wish the
feeling away... it's there.  The reason I feel dirty or nasty about it is
that Chubby isn't gay and wouldn't like me "perving" on him like that.
Sure, the two of us do things that would border on being gay if two other
boys did it, but our relationship is so unique that the stuff we do doesn't
count in the way it would if we had a "normal" friendship-relationship.
What the hell do I know though... Chubby might actually be doing something
gay with Rickie, maybe he's forced into it somehow, maybe he's even come to
accept it as OK, but I'm convinced it's not really Chubby's nature.  He's
just doing what he must to accomplish our money goal.  It's not the same as
me at all, I'm homosexual through and through. Odd, but sometimes I wonder
how long I've known that fact in the subconscious part of my mind.

Thinking about all that made me go way back in my head to recall that
erotic gay fantasy I use to have all the time while jerking off, pre-Carl
days. The fantasy where I was getting fucked by a mystery boy who was rough
with me, but who turned me on like I could hardly believe and who I
desperately wanted to please.  What a fucking that mysterious boy gave me
and how hard that fantasy would make me cum, spunk shooting out of my cock
as my hand flew up and down the shaft of my boner while stars exploded
behind my eyeballs.  That certainly should have been a clue to me that I
might be gay, a clue like a sledge hammer over my head, a clue as big and
heavy as a manhole cover, but I never picked-up on it till Carl showed me
what I was. I'm still grateful to Carl for outing me to myself because it's
mostly been wonderful since then. Yeah, it's been great and because of that
I have a difficult time grouping Carl in with the dominant assholes like
Larry and Charles, but he probably deserves to be in there with them just
the same.. too bad too because he has a good side, one unfortunately that's
overwhelmed by that dumb need to be dominant.

Chubby and I finished our shaving routine without much talking. The last
thing we did was our jerk-offs which were especially hot tonight from my
perspective... I think from Chubby's too.  I saw stars streaming at me
again while climaxing, and then felt feint afterward as I lay back against
Chubby.  He held me around my waist, the back of my head against his
shoulder, as we swayed with the sides of our faces partially together.  It
sure would be a weird dance, a backward dance... weird, but it was as close
to dancing with him as I've ever managed. Earlier, I'd jerked him off
holding his naked body against mine in that same position, the one we've
used since Wildwood... his ass against the front of my thighs, my arm
around his waist holding him with one arm, the other arm around there too
with my hand massaging his nuts and cock till he got hard and then stroking
his boner till climax. Chubby's natural scent is intoxicating to me as I've
said a thousand times, but when I'm experiencing it nothing else enters my
mind except Chubby.  Our entire lives have been lived in close proximity of
one another and I can't imagine living any other way.  Of course, where
does that leave Willie and Robbie?  Life as a gay teen isn't particularly
easy for me, no complaints though... just a fact, so many boys to desire.
Perhaps the life of a gay teen slut would be better suited for me... maybe
if I beg, get right down on my knees and beg, Chubby will let me suck his
cock and lick his asshole.  Then what?... after that, we'd never again be
friends like we are now, and I can't imagine living without that.

In bed, after a nice snuggling time with Chubby on the recliner watching
the Red Sox, I jerked off again but not thinking about Chubby this
time... I started off thinking about Robbie, but ended up climaxing onto my
sheets thinking about how Willie gives me those hickeys with me all wrapped
up in his arms and legs, his boner up inside me.  Oh my god, what's wrong
with me? I'd shot off an awesome load with Chubby just an hour ago and here
I was jerking off again thinking about other boys.  Mmmmm, it's kinda nice
though, but damn... now that my climax crescendo is receding, Joel's
accident popped into my head again... fuck!  Looking at the clock on my
bedside table I see it's only quarter to eleven so, what the hell, I'll try
calling Willie on my cell phone.  Up out of bed, grab the cell and back in
bed on the side without the wet cum spot this time.. nice cool, dry
sheets. Speed dial, one ring and before I could say anything Willie goes,
"Dylan, babe.  I'm so glad you called. I miss you already and fuck if I
don't need to go to Maine on Saturday so that means I won't see you for so
long, and our last date was so fucked-up and jumbled with highs and lows.
I know, the lows were mostly caused by me and I was thinking about you just
now and pretending you were going with me to Maine and how much fun the
drive up there together would be... we'd stop somewhere real private and
I'd fuck you just the way you like and we'd make out till we were both so
hard again and it would be so awesome, you and me. And...."

Willie can have a stream of consciousness sentence that last for a long
time so I butted in with, "Willie, I can't go to Maine... you know that. I
just wanted to talk to you because something unbelievable happened today.
I need to know what you think about it" and when he asked in a hushed
voice, "Oh my God, what happened Dylan" I told him about Joel's accident
and how I wouldn't be spending Saturday night and all day Sunday getting
"trained" by Joel to be submissive afterall. Not like he, Willie, thought
was going to happen, and what did he, Willie, think about this development?
Willie was silent for a few seconds and then softly said, "I'm happy the
accident happened, and I'm very glad you don't need to go with him.  All
I've been thinking about recently is our date Tuesday and how I said stuff
to you that I don't really mean.  I thought I meant it when I said it, but
I'm beginning to see that I don't mean it.  It's like the sort of stuff I
was babbling about when I answered the phone, the only thing about the
Maine trip that would be great is if you were coming too. I lost my
interest in the trip because you won't be there. Can you believe it?
Surprised the shit out of myself realizing that fact yesterday. Ya know, I
don't want to be with Larry, I want to be with you."

Now it was my time to be quiet for a bit.  It's never easy for me to think
of appropriate things to say on the spur of the moment, so what I said was,
"Can we go out tomorrow night?"  Willie was initially taken by surprise,
but then thrilled.  He said he thought I had driving lessons on Friday,
which I did, but now I was going to take advantage of that two hour block
on Sunday and ask Chubby to do his two hour block tomorrow evening.  Willie
was as excited as I've seen him get.  He told me this was the best surprise
ever because now we can iron out all the negative vibes from our last date
and get back to our true feelings towards each other.  He said that was
important so we both could have good sweet thoughts of each other while he
was gone.  He said that as far as he's concerned, from now on, I come
first, ahead of Larry or anybody else and that it was a relief for him to
finally recognize the truth of the matter. He said he'd been fucked-up in
the head about our relationship for a while now, but he just didn't know
what to do about it... Larry had been giving him messed-up advise and now
Willie said he wanted to do things the way he, Willie, wanted to do them
and the hell with Larry's opinion.  We talked quite a bit about the topic
of how Willie had been letting Larry run his life and how Willie saw things
differently now. After saying "goodnight... I love you" to each other, I
felt really good.  His true feelings were coming out at last and it
reassured me that our relationship was really true love, awesome... but
then I thought about Robbie and my dilemma again.

This change of attitude by Willie certainly doesn't encourage me to dump
him, that is if I ever was even leaning that way... which I may have
been. And then there's Robbie who surely, might have, probably, maybe, did
a very "brave-stupid-thing" to help someone he says he's in love
with... me. How the hell could I even think about dropping him?  I fell
asleep feeling wonderful about having both boyfriends, but miserable
because I can't be true to both and therefore need to figure out what to do
about that.  After Willie's commitment to me in our telephone conversation
if I were to simply tell him about me being in love with Robbie too, and
about all the sex Robbie and I have had, Willie will surely feel betrayed
and be wicked hurt and therefore dump me.  If I tell Robbie I'm in love
with Willie, and about all the sex we do, well... I'm not sure what his
reaction would be, but it sure isn't going to make him think more highly of
me.  He'll probably think I'm a two-timing slut, like I guess I am in a
way.

When I finally did get to sleep I was bothered by two nightmares... in one
Robbie was running after Joel with scissors, but Joel was unaware of it.
They were both naked with Joel's bigger cock swinging between his legs,
hard and purple with some kind of tight ring around the base of it.
Robbie's short cock was stiff, pointing straight out from a shaved crotch.
Everything in slow motion.  I don't know from where I was viewing the chase
in my dream, but I know I was trying to scream something to one of them,
but without success. Wondering which one I was screaming at, I woke up from
that dream feeling weird and jumpy, maybe at how stupid it all was. My
other nightmare seemed to happen as soon as I fell back to sleep. It was
about this huge Joel face, chopped up like his face had been caught in the
mower blade. In the dream, I was in the back locker room where Robbie and I
do our morning make-outs. Joel's bloody face shimmering in the air kept
whispering warnings to me about something that I couldn't understand.  The
dream seemed to go on for quite a while.  Behind Joel was a very little
kid, about five years old on a tricycle who was laughing behind his
hand... the face on the little boy was Robbie's, a little boy in
short-shorts with little red sneakers and a Mickey Mouse T-shirt, but the
little boy had Robbie's face at his current age of seventeen.  I woke up
sweating, got out of bed mumbling, "Fuck!" and went into my bathroom,
shaking and shivering to pee and put cold water on my face.  The next time
I woke up it was morning.

Friday morning was cloudy, gloomy, and humid.  I felt very disoriented with
a feeling of impending doom from unknown sources.  After a night of bad
dreams and lying awake this morning reflecting, for one thing... about what
might happen at work today regarding the one-in-a-million chance a wheel
bolt would come loose on Joel's ride-on mower?  For another thing I was
worried Chubby will be mad that I wasn't going to do drivers training with
him after work tonight, especially after we'd just told each other
yesterday we were going to finish with Ms Oberbite together.  Also, I
wondered if Willie would again change his personality on our date tonight,
or would he be the sweet boyfriend he was on the phone last night.  In
addition, I agonized over what I should say to Robbie, if anything, about
the so-called accident, and how should I act around him in general when I
saw him at work.  And then I thought again about those fucking dreams I
had!  Overall I can't remember ever feeling like this... I felt guilty and
in danger and grateful and unsure of myself, all at the same time.  Guilty
and in danger because I knew what caused that horrible accident and
grateful because I knew I wouldn't have to spend a night and a day with
Joel or even see him again, and uncertain because I don't know what to
think about any of this stuff or if anyone's going to be in trouble over
this so-called accident.

At one point in the middle of all my concerns I got giddy with the
knowledge that my "Joel problems" were over, and then right after that I
felt guilty being giddy and got nervous thinking again about all my other
concerns.  One of my easier concerns to deal with was to be outside early
enough to catch Chubby before he left for work.  I needed to tell him about
me not doing drivers training tonight. I was nervous about his reaction, as
I've said, and I was pissed at myself because I hate to let Chubby down.
Hurrying to get dressed and get outside to be waiting when Chubby opened
his door.  He sees me and says, "What's wrong Dylan?"  I guess my worries
were advertised on my face.  Chubby can read me like a book anyway. I tried
to sound carefree and upbeat saying, "Oh, nothing much, Chubby. Ah... I, I
wonder if you'd be wicked pissed at me if I begged out of doing drivers
training with you tonight?  I talked with my friend Willie last night and I
need to help with sort of an emergency and, ya know, I'd rather not go into
it right now... I'll tell you all about it soon enough.  OK Chubby?"  He
goes, "We're like brothers, Dylan.  I'll always have your back for you.
But you owe me for making me spend two hours alone with that bitchy
instructor, and you'll need to do the two hours on Sunday alone with her
too." I told him I knew all that and was sorry as hell about it, then
thanked him briefly for understanding, we hugged and he said, "I'll miss
ya, bro.  Won't see you now till Sunday morning".  Then breaking the hug he
said real seriously, "Hope you're not in trouble again."  I hugged back and
assured him I wasn't in trouble, then I said, "Again?  I'm never in
trouble."  He grinned at me and shot me with his index finger, pulling the
trigger with his thumb saying, "OK Dylan, just ragging on ya I guess!  See
ya Sunday..." and he was off.

Watching him run off to work I got a lump in my throat thinking about how
special his friendship is to me. I was also thinking about how much I love
him.  When Chubby turned the corner I did a big sigh, then went inside to
brush my teeth and then grabbing a baseball cap I ran for my bus. During
the bus ride I tried to prioritize my concerns.  Number one... have there
been any overnight developments about the accident that might get someone
in trouble, and number two... what to say and how to act around Robbie. I
wasn't going to say anything about him taking the nut off the wheel
bolt... if he even did take it off.  My plan was to act totally ignorant of
everything, which wouldn't actually be much of a stretch for me.


        DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 14a... CONCLUSION (1 of 2)

                                  Chapter Two

While walking toward the Dicker's building I got that giddy feeling
again... and then the nervous one too.  Lighting a cigarette and leaning
against a brick wall in front of the Post Office I smoked a cigarette
hoping it would calm my nerves a little. There wasn't any doubt how happy I
was that Joel isn't going to be at work anymore... that's the reason for
the giddy feeling.  It's odd that my relief about Joel seems much greater
than my worry had been about him. It's probably that I suppressed my true
level of worry and fear because I thought I had no out... a self
preservation thing perhaps. And now that I'm free of him, the relief is
flowing out in full force. Damn!  I got a teary eye just then from the
tremendous feeling of relief. Joel really had me messed-up in the head for
many weeks and knowing he isn't inside that building is the best feeling
ever. Taking a deep breath I flicked the cigarette butt into the gutter
only to see it slip out of my finger and bounce off my cheek.  I go, "Fuck!
Damn it!" as a tiny cinder burned a small red dot on my chin. I was still
mumbling about that as I went in the front door at work. The first thing I
see is a big notice advising everyone to attend a general meeting first
thing in the supervisor's conference room. Oh man, what now?  I hustled
into the locker room hoping to find Robbie, see if he knows what's going
on, but it was empty there... my footsteps echoed ominously on the tile
floor.  Everything was creeping me out this morning. Unwrapping a stick of
gum I nervously bit off little pieces of it as I slowly walked down the
hall to the conference room. Inside the door I hear, "Here Dylan, over
here".  It was Robbie and I went right to him in the back of the
room. Almost everyone was in their seats even though it was fifteen minutes
before the start of our work day. I looked at Robbie, trying to read his
expression.  He seemed normal as he grabbed my arm and pulled me against
his body and whispered to me, "You look so cute in that hat".  I was like,
"Huh? What Robbie?"  he chuckled as the meeting was called to order.  The
reason for this meeting was the accident, of course.  Because it was a
workman's compensation accident one of the requirements was that a
representative of some government agency needed to inspect the company's
safety rules and then impress upon us the need to do this and do that and
blab, blab, blab...  A nondescript little man wearing a bow tie stood in
front of everyone and droned on for twenty minutes and when he was done Mr
Dickers gave a updated health report on Joel which boiled down to... he'll
be OK, but no more Joel till next year.  I somehow managed to keep myself
from standing up and cheering.

The longer the little bow-tie man talked, the more it became apparent that
as far as everyone was concerned; the workers, the supervisors, Mr Dickers,
and the safety guy from the government agency, everyone... they all felt
this was simply a freak accident, nothing more, nothing less.  After a
while that fact became obvious to Robbie too.  He was initially looking at
his feet during the first part of the meeting and then as the meeting was
winding-down his head picked up, he looked over at me with sort of a grin
or a smirk on his cute face, the tip of his pink tongue just visible
between his rosy, full, bow-shaped lips. He was nodding his head up and
down ever so slightly. I stared back at him fascinated by his face as the
sunlight from the transom beside us hit his face just right... the rosy
cheek blotches so pretty against his pale complexion, his beautiful light
blond hair, slightly unruly this morning needing to be cut, the slant of
his head, the look in his big, bright eyes with his narrow eyebrows
slightly raised as if he were making a point to me, long eyelashes blinking
every so often, and the almost too cute nose and just right
chin... everything about him, it was a miracle of nature's happenstance in
it's never ending game of matching-genes that allowed the creation of a boy
this attractive.  A freak of nature is another way of saying it. I had to
grin back at Robbie as if I was part of the unspoken conspiracy he seemed
to be including me in, and I suppose, inadvertently, I was part of it.

The meeting basically over, Robbie squeezed my arm, leaned over and said,
"I love you Dylan".  I, ambiguously made a scrunched-up face at him.  He
continued in a serious whisper-voice, "It must seem weird to you I know,
but I think I will always love you."  I mouthed back to him, "Yes, you got
that right... you are weird!" and then we both laughed quietly behind our
hands.  In my experience, awkward moments are often saved by laughter.  Mr
Dickers announced there was coffee, soft drinks, and breakfast sweet rolls
in the hallway and we were all invited to help ourselves.  Work was
beginning an hour later then normal this morning.  Out in the hall Robbie
and I grabbed a couple of strawberry frosted donuts and Styrofoam cups of
Dunkin Donuts coffee, then went to change into our work clothes. After that
we went outside to enjoy eating and drinking our breakfast.  The weather
had been clearing all during the meeting, the sun peeking out behind the
clouds frequently. Out of nowhere it hit me, the overwhelming finality of
it all...  the Joel incident is completely over!  It's history, totally
yesterday's news. Joel is completely out of my life, no more trepidation
entering this building, no more humiliating and painful experiences
standing in front of him at attention... no more anything to do with that
prick.  Someday I'll ask Robbie about it, that is if he doesn't tell me
about it first... "it' being the "accident" of course.  For now, I felt a
strange special closeness to Robbie and, as usual of late, he actually was
very close to me, forcing me to mumble, "Robbie, I love ya dude, but don't
lean on me man, guys will see us."  He goes, "I don't care, I like how you
feel" but he did back away about an inch.  I had to smile at him because
it's really so nice to be desired like that.

Again I thought... jeez, he looks awfully yummy this morning.  We ate our
donuts grinning at one another. Finishing the donuts, and after a big
swallow of coffee, Robbie lets out this long, loud, rumbling, coffee/donut
burp that got us laughing like two nine year olds.  Right after that,
maintaining that same age category, I squeezed out a fart and we were
laughing hard now, just like something really funny had happened, but I
knew we were actually laughing from a sense of relief. We were safe,
well... mostly it was Robbie who was safe, but he'd done it for me.  From
then on the work day was hurry-up because we needed to make-up that hour we
wasted this morning in the meeting.  At the end of the day I had to run to
catch my bus without even having a chance to share some spit with Robbie in
the back section of the old locker room.  As I ran by Robbie he said, "Try
to be early tomorrow, Dylan?  You know..." and he nodded his head toward
the old lockers.  I said, "Guaranteed, dude!" The bus driver saw me running
and he waited the ten seconds for me to get there.  Wicked nice of him, and
very rare too.  I told him "Thanks, man!' and he goes, "take your seat
please" but he smiled at me when he said it. Today turned out so nice, what
a surprise... and now a date with Willie tonight.  I hope we don't argue
again.

Getting off the bus I was in a bit of a fog and didn't see Willie right
away.  He was across the street sitting in his convertible with the top
down, smoking a cigarette.  It was the first time I ever saw him smoke
without me smoking with him, what a cool looking boy he is. He casually
blew smoke rings into a humid, warm, late afternoon air. I'd seen him do
that before and wondered then, like now... how'd he learn to do that?
Willie didn't see me so I stared at him from across the street.  He put the
cigarette in the corner of his mouth and, squinting the eye above the
cigarette, he mussed with his hair in the rear view mirror. Like Robbie,
Willie's hair was a bit unruly as their flattops where growing in.  The
longish flattop actually went with Willie's face which was longish too.  He
looked cute and it occurred to me his cuteness was enhanced greatly by his
youthful appearance.  Willie looked about fifteen, and the freckles across
the bridge of his nose, in conjunction with his flattop, reminded me again
of a teenager from the midwest in the nineteen-fifty era.  Jacob Barnhart
and I did a joint project last year for a high school Social Studies course
that included covers from an old magazine called The Saturday Evening Post.
I don't know if it's still being published, but Willie looked like a kid an
artist drew on the cover of one of those magazines.  He looked so innocent,
although I know from experience that he's not.  Well, he is in some ways,
but isn't in many others.  It was fun looking at him and I had half a
stiffy in my pants knowing he's my boyfriend.  I'd bet anything that most
gay teen boys would love to have Willie as their boyfriend... too bad guys,
because he's mine.  Pulling a Marlboro Light cigarette from my pack, I
shouted at him, "Hey, stuck-up, got a light?". Willie's head snapped
around, he's always ready for a fight.  His face lit up when he saw it was
me!  So nice to see how happy some one is to see you. I strolled over to
his car trying to be cool and leaned on the passenger side door to quietly
say, "You're the hottest looking boy sitting in a convertible with a
flattop haircut, smoking a cigarette, that I've seen today". Willie
grinned, leaned right over to grab the front of my T shirt and pull me down
to kiss me on the lips. People walking and driving by meant nothing to
Willie, he held the kiss for maybe thirty seconds, with a lot of saliva and
a lot of tongue.  My boner was a little over six inches of hard flesh and
blood by now.  Taking a deep breath I said, "Love ya, Willie" and he goes,
"I know you do... get in, sweetheart.  I love you too."  Almost in a trance
I got in and, flicking his cigarette butt over my head into the street,
Willie did a wheelie away from the curb. God, he's fun to be with.

We looked at each other with quick glances, grinning and smirking as we
drove along and I could just tell that he was as happy to see me as I was
to see him.  I felt so comfortable with Willie by now, it's like I'm
totally relaxed around him knowing that everything's been taken care of. We
have some disagreements, some bumps in the road from time to time, but the
vast majority of my time with Willie is awesome.  I was a bit dirty and
definitely sweaty after working all day, but that didn't worry me because
Willie would have already anticipated I'd be like this, and he'd already
have figured out what to do about it too. We drove directly to his house
and wandered, holding hands, down the brick path to the tennis and
basketball courts near the pool.  This was new, the hand holding. Usually
he has his arm around my waist.  Willie was telling me, in a long- winded
manner, that he was sorry about the way he acted on our last date.  He
described how he'd recently been able, finally, to see a clear picture of
our relationship.  All of a sudden it was so obvious to him, I was the one
he cared about.  Not Charles, Larry, or anyone from that entire Prep school
gay crowd, they weren't doing Willie any favors. They acted like such big
deals mentoring him at prep school, but they were mostly interested in
impressing themselves and each other, not Willie.  He was like their abused
mascot.  He said, "They treat me like shit, Dylan.  I don't have fun with
them like I do with you.  Sure, Larry and Carl fuck me fine, it feels
great, but I liked the couple of times you fucked me much better.  And I
like fucking you even better then you fucking me. You're the one I want to
be with and I don't even want to go to Maine. I'll go though, this last
time because I said I would and they've made plans and all that, but this
is definitely the last time. And I'm going with a different attitude.  They
won't like it one bit, but tough shit, I'm a new person thanks to you".

Everything Willie said was "positive input" from my perspective. I loved
hearing it and it finally appears that my baby steps had won the day.  I'm
referring to the baby steps attempting to get Willie to change his mind
about Larry's dominant sex-partner philosophy. Before today I thought sure
I was losing out to that dumb-ass dominant philosophy and to be honest,
I've given in on somethings, but only because I feel the things I gave in
on were harmless.  I don't even mind that I've given in to those things
because now we're compromising, that's what we're finally doing without
actually calling it that.  I'm OK with doing little silly things for Willie
as long as the big things get tossed out via our compromise. The biggest
one to get tossed of course is that mind-numbing concept of training me to
be submissive ... plueeeeze! That's always been stupidly over the top and
now I've helped Willie finally recognize that fact.  So, as I said, if
Willie wants to feel he's the "boss" in our relationship and he can keep it
simply, I have no problem with that. As I've said before, it's kind of cute
and sometimes I like to feel a little submissive.  So sue me, I like it in
small portions.  And it's quite humorous at times watching Willie trying to
be stern with me. Oh, he can do it on rare occasions, but not on a
consistent basis.

Anyway, he finally says, "Enough of me talking about me, Dylan. How about
if you talk about me for awhile!"  Then he laughed at his self-depreciating
joke while pulling me against him and we just naturally hugged and did a
quick kiss before Willie asked, "You mad at me Dylan?  You know, that last
date..." and I say, "I was a little bit, but like always you won me over
again in the end.  You usually get it right, Willie.  I really mean
that... in the end you always seem to get it right.  Being your boyfriend
means a lot to me.  I love it..." He blinked his eyes and bit his bottom
lip, then just nodded his head and mumbled, "Thanks Dylan... you too" and
then we were at the swimming pool area.  Willie, acting upbeat, says,
"Let's shoot some hoops".  I was up for that and as we walked onto the
basketball court I thought about Willie's reaction to my comment that being
his boyfriend was important to me, and it made me think of something I'd
noticed before...  Willie can be a very emotional boy.  Little displays of
affection from me can get him choked-up at times. I sometimes forget that
Willie has spent his whole life kind of alone and on his own.  No brothers
or sisters, only casual grandparents interaction, and no parental guidance
to speak of at all. Since the first grade he's been in boarding
schools... and when on vacations from school it's mostly employees of his
parents in charge of the house who Willie interacts with. His
globe-trotting parents, who are married in name only... parents in name
only too actually, are rarely at home.  Willie's major influence comes from
the gay students at Prep school and he's had bad luck with that too. The
misfortune of having Larry and Charles be the driving force behind that gay
group has Willie, and all of them actually, screwed-up in the head.  Carl,
who outed me, graduated from my high school, but he's spent many summers
with his cousin, Larry, so Larry's influence can be seen in Carl too.

Willie wasn't thinking thoughts like that though, he was dribbling and
shooting the basketball.  He's quite graceful on the basketball court, a
pretty good ball handler and a real good shooter.  That's not surprising
considering his talents as a tennis player, his eye/hand coordination, and
he's a good dancer too.  We played two games of "one-on-one"
basketball... Willie won the first easily and then he worked real hard
making sure I won the second game.  Hey, I don't suck at basketball, he's
just that good. First time we played, some months ago now, he did
everything with his left hand, but now I find out he's actually right
handed... that's impressive, dude.  He plays basketball with a grin on his
face, always looking at me.  And the special way he looks at me too, I feel
he's always trying to "take care" of me, make sure everything is OK. I
guess I could take that a couple of different ways if I wanted to look for
a negative, but I choose to take it in a positive manner. Willie's a nice
person in his heart of hearts, and our relationship means a lot to him,
let's face it... he doesn't really have other meaningful relationships in
his life like most everyone else does.  Oh sure, he has friends like the
Cambridge crew who appear to really like him, and there are his straight
friends from prep who like him too, but these are "friends" and
"acquaintances", not "meaningful relationships" like family or lovers.  The
closest description I can think of for Larry is "master"... Willie's
master.  It appears Willie is finally out-growing the need for that and I'd
like to think I'm partially responsible for him seeing Larry for what he
is. One of the things Larry is, is unnecessary. Willie doesn't need him in
his life, and in fact Willie's life will be greatly enhanced without Larry.
Fingers crossed that Willie continues to see it this way too.

"Let's get naked, Dylan.  No one comes down here when Mother and Father are
away."  As I dropped my shorts and pulled my T-shirt over my head I
expected we'd be going in for a swim, but when we were both naked Willie
took my hand and led me to the same hammock we had so much sexy fun in our
second date, or was it our third date?  After the basketball games we were
now both sweaty, not just me.  Our bodies slipped against one another as
Willie pulled me into him and we hugged and kissed, leaning back against
the hammock.  Oh my god, Willie's kisses are so sexy and as we were rubbing
our noses together, our tongues out smearing saliva on each other, my cock
got so hard it felt stretched. I reached down and stroke it... oh man, that
feels good.  Willie, catching his breath, mumbled "Hop up on the hammock
with me, Dylan" and as we awkwardly mounted the swaying hammock Willie's
long boner bounced against my belly and poked me in my side causing me to
do a large inhale thinking that very soon that seven-plus inches of hard
cock will be way up inside me.  My body shuddered with anticipation as
Willie positioned me on my back with my legs spread with him in between my
legs on his knees breathing in spurts.  He grunted, "I love doing this more
then anything in the world, babe. Keep your legs spread, try to get your
pussy up for me."  I pulled my legs back with a hand behind each thigh, the
result was my ass pulling up off the bed of the hammock and Willie goes,
"Oh yeah... that's good" then he leaned forward and drooled a long string
of clear bubbly saliva right on my asshole.  He hunched forward a little on
his knees, lined up his boner with my hole and humped it inside me going,
"Ooooooh... that feels nice" as he inched forward pushing his boner in all
the way and then stayed like that biting his lower lip with his eyes closed
going "Mmmmmmm" and slowly opening his eyes, he grinned at me, nodded his
head like this was just perfect, and did a dozen four inch quick humps that
had me imitating Willie by biting my lip and groaning, "Ooooooh yeah, just
like that. Harder..."  breathing quick short breaths as he lengthened his
strokes, then he was pushing on the back of my thighs helping me keep them
up near my chest.  Sweating like mad, he fucked me steadily until I
squealed, "I'm cuming, Ahhhh ohhh" and cum shot up on my belly as I closed
my sphincter ring and Willie unloaded his gooey sperm up my asshole, some
running down both of my ass cheeks leaking out around his cock. He said
nothing, his face was very red, he just grunted with each shot of cum.  My
hole was slippery with it in seconds and then he fell forward and we
wrapped our arms around each other's sweaty bodies.  The side of his face
slid on the side of my face as our sweat combined, warm and slippery .  My
estimation is that from Willie's initial penetration to my climax required
a mere four minutes.  We get each other so hot it's serious stuff.

Getting real comfortable, Willie and I squirmed around gently in each
others' arms as the hammock swayed easily under our weight. It was such a
great feeling having his cock inside me... ooooh, nice. Snuggling into
Willie's embrace it occurred to me how sorry I was for boys who can't
appreciate the depth of sexual feelings that being fucked well by another
boy can generate inside you.  It can't be described adequately, but getting
fucked is surely my greatest sexual pleasure and it's hard to imagine
anything feeling better then the way Willie fucks me. The few times I've
been the one to do the fucking I think "Wow!... this is the
greatest!... but that feeling only stands up until the next time a boy
fucks me and I learn all over again that that's the most intense sexual
pleasure for me.  My entire body tingles along with my climax, my toes and
fingers curl up tight and I shudder all over. When a boy fucking me causes
cum to shoot up from my gonads and out my boner it creates the hardest
climaxing I can do... it's simply the best.  Like I said, I can't
articulate how wonderful it feels.  As soon as it's over I start looking
forward to the next time. Hugging Willie's slim, sweaty, body and feeling
him kiss and lick the side of my face... oh man, how awesome!  At times
like that I can't get enough of him and when he begins making out with me
again and I feel his cock hardening and swelling inside my ass, my own cock
follows his example and I grow another boner too. Willie fucks me so slow
and luscious the second time around I almost get hypnotized with the rhythm
of it, the sensuous feeling inside my ass and the urgency of Willie's need
to fuck me, and the need he has to hear me tell him how good it
feels... it's almost like a dance. "Oh my God this feels so good, Dylan.
Nothing feels as good as my cock inside your body. Mmmmmm... ahhh."  Then
he'll quietly say, "On your stomach now Dylan, get your pussy up.  Good!
Hows that feel?" and I'm in ecstasy going, "Ohhh god, yes right there,
faster ohhhhh yeah, Willie oh... Willie!  Feels soooo good".

No lie, it did feel fantastically good, he fucks me better, by far, than
anyone else has. Well, I haven't had that much to compare it to... Carl was
my first and he was very good, then Larry was OK too and I enjoyed Dodger
raping me in the swimming pool... ha ha, he's so hot.  But with Willie it
was no joke, it was deeply sexual and during the slow second fuck this
evening I had to start jerking myself off after awhile because I needed to
cum again, no matter the violent climax I had a mere half hour ago. I did
cum a second time too, and it only took about ten strokes of my uncut boner
with the skin around the neck of my cock massaging my wet cock head till it
felt so fantastic I almost screamed from wanting to cum so badly.  I shot a
spurt of cum on the hammock and as I stroked myself additional cum leaked
out, felt totally awesome and so fine!. Only a spurt or two but it felt
like a geyser of cum.  Willie continued fucking me methodically for another
five minutes before he climaxed up inside me for his second blast of the
evening. His climax felt as if it were more then a "spurt" and then he tied
me up tight in his arms and legs, his cock still inside me, and he gave me
a hickey on the front side of my neck like he usually does. He sucked on my
neck and licked the spot so long it went past the burning, itchy, stage all
the way to the numb stage.  At one point he whispered in my ear, "You're so
perfect tonight, Dylan.  It's exactly like I knew you'd be. God! I love
you!"  Well, after he said that to me I wasn't about to complain about how
long it took him to give me that big hickey.

The hickey was a beauty alright, I felt it with my fingertip when Willie
pulled his softened cock out of me, him saying, "That's a good hickey right
there, baby... not too many guys could do a better one, but you're worth
it.... ooooh, my dick is so sore."  I almost laughed out loud because he
gets confused about stuff like this.  Not about his sore dick, he always
fucks me till his dick is sore.  I mean he gets mixed-up about the reality
of some things, like giving me the hickey... he convinces himself he's
doing it for me, as if I was the one who wanted the hickey... as if I
asked, "Oh Willie, give me a hickey I can be proud of".  Then I did laugh
out loud and I told him about his tendency to do that mixed-up bit.  Willie
listened with his mouth open like he couldn't believe his ears, then he
laughed too and said, "Hey, don't fuck up my delusions."  He laughed some
more and asked, "Do I really do that ? ... do stuff for myself and pretend
I'm doing it for you?"  We talked about that as we walked up to the house.
Willie had to agree that, yes... he did do that kind of thing once in
awhile. He was shaking his head in amazement and still chuckling, then he
mumbled, "Why didn't you say something before? Man, that's wicked weird,
doing something I didn't even realize I was doing.  I'll get better, Dylan.
You'll see."  No one was home so we stayed naked and with each step we made
toward his house I felt Willie's cum continue drooling from my ass and
slowly running down the inside of my thighs.  I loved that it was his
cum. Willie and I talked about his faults all the way up to the
house. Willie finally goes, "Oh my God!  I suck! ... and ain't it lucky
you're so perfect Dylan?  ya know, you're so perfect, you make-up for me
sucking."  I said, "Don't try turning this around on me, dude. You're the
one who sucks... remember?" It was all said in complete good humor, in fact
I can't remember Willie ever being in this relaxed and easy-going a mood. I
thought way back to that first time I met him and how his mannerism then
were so different from the ones he displayed later, for example at Sea Isle
city were he was beginning to get quite dominant.  He was just following
his idiot "mentors" instructions of course.  Now he's reverting back to the
"original" Willie, the one I first knew... wonder which one is the real
one?  I think it's some of this and some of that.  I also think there's a
strong possibility that Willie isn't any more sure of who the real Willie
is then I am.

Whatever, for right now I'm really enjoying this version of Willie. Sure he
still likes acting a little dominant in deciding when we have sex and in
what form it takes and he calls me "baby" or "babe" or "sweetheart" too
much and he still calls my ass "pussy" and... and that's about it. None of
those things bothers me anymore and in fact I kind of like it when he does
those things.  I've come to like them because it's all part of Willie's
unique personality, not an important part at all, just a few little
harmless quirks of his. And ya know, it's weird but I sorta enjoy being in
the "Willie role" when Robbie and I are doing stuff together. With Robbie,
I'm the boss as much as Willie's the boss between us.  I think Willie is as
harmless to me as I am to Robbie. There's no doubt in my mind that many
guys, Chubby included, would not approve of me being on the submissive side
for Willie, but we're all different and maybe if it were someone other than
Willie, I might object.  With Willie, it's OK as far as I'm concerned. Hope
people with differences of opinion can respect my position as I'll respect
theirs. Of course there are always those that "know" their way is the only
"correct" way and to deviate from "their" way makes you wrong. I've met a
few people like that so I appreciate that Willie is not really being like
that, he can be self deprecating as he's shown tonight and he's always been
willing to admit he's wrong about some things, not everything, but some
things.  He's certainly not pompous like his so-called mentor, Larry, or
that ridiculous Charles.

Inside the house we got cold drinks which we took outside so we can smoke
while we drank them.  Willie says, "I hate that you got me hooked on these
fucking cigarettes...  even though they are cool looking." I pretended to
be shocked, "Me get you hooked on something? Surely you jest! You're the
main dude, I do what you say." Willie laughed and talked at the same time,
"Dylan, how can you say that with a straight face?  I know who runs our
show and between you and me, it ain't me!"  He got my sweaty head in a
headlock then and we wrestled around a little bit just like Chubby and I do
sometimes. Only difference is when Chubby and I wrestle around it's an even
wrestling match, when Willie and me do it I can sense immediately that he's
much stronger than I am although he holds back and doesn't flaunt it.  Like
I said before, I always get the impression he's looking out for me.  Chubby
and I always look out for each other too, and then there's that amazing
thing Robbie did for me about Joel... guess I got a few guys I can depend
on in a pinch.  It's a real nice feeling knowing that... real nice.
Willie's and my wrestling match turned into a hug much like Chubby and I
usually end up.  Unlike Chubby and me, Willie and me did a quick kiss on
the lips before picking-up our dropped cigarettes, bumping into the side of
each other as we did it.  After our smoke, our soda, and our wrestling
around we went upstairs to Willie's bathroom and took a long shower
together.  I love Willie shampooing my hair and scrubbing my body with a
rough washcloth, lots of soapy lather drooling down all over my body.  Then
I soaped up and shampooed him, feeling his excellent longish tight body
gave me the chills... the good kind of chills.  It gave me a boner too and
Willie whispered in my ear, "You love all kinds of boy on boy activities,
don't ya?  That's just one of the things I love about you" and he stroked
my boner with his soapy hand, pulling me against him as he did it.  We
ended-up in the same position Chubby and I get in to jerk each other off
except with Willie he soon had the head of his cock at my hole again,
pushing firmly and then it slid in a few inches and I went up on my toes.
He grunted, "Just a little Dylan, my cock is too tender to really fuck you
hard."  With that he did a pretty good impression of fucking me hard and I
was gasping with the feel of it.  It was unexpected and that made it even
hotter, we'd never done it in the shower and that's especially surprising
considering how many showers we take together.  He got going pretty good
and I started thrusting backwards with my ass trying to get his cock up my
hole further.  I was literally blowing saliva sprays into the cascading
shower water with each deep thrust of Willie's long cock.  Sore cock or not
we both got caught up in the fuck and he had me bent over after a while, me
grabbing onto the shower door handle as Willie fucked me in a frenzy.  He
was groaning out as if in pain with each penetration, but he wouldn't, or
couldn't stop.  I think I finally sprayed some drops of cum, at least it
felt like I did, into the shower spray.  Felt fantastic in any case, the
third fuck tonight and it was still feeing very fine.  I know Willie shot
some cum up my ass because it came back out a few minutes later.  Willie
pulled out half laughing and half moaning in pain, "Holy shit, Dylan.  We
need chaperones or something, I can't control myself around you."  He was
hurting but loving it too, "Ow ow ow as water sprayed on the sore-looking
red head of his cock, it looked just like Dodgers cock that time in the
half bath when Robbie had called me it to look at it. Robbie and Dodger had
thought I might have some remedy for a tender dick head.  My advise to the
lad was simple... I told him to stop playing with it, but I wasn't inclined
to tell Willie that if he stopped fucking me his dick wouldn't be so
sore. I thought that Willie's sore cock was kind of cool because of the
reason it got that way. I also had to wonder a little why I didn't have a
sore asshole too. Just lucky, I guess.

We finished our shower after that and lay together on his bed naked, drying
off.  Willie had his arm under my neck sort of holding me against him as he
returned to talking about how he now saw the guys at Prep school so
differently, different then before this summer with me.  He asked me in a
very serious way, "Do you really love me Dylan?  you know, really love
me... not just saying you do to make me feel good..."  I thought a second
and said, "Yes, I really love you Willie.  Well, I love you to the extent I
know about love." He grinned and pulled my head over to kiss my forehead
saying, "You always say something great, and then qualify it so it isn't
totally as great as it was originally, but I think I know what you're
saying. We're two seventeen year old gay kids, what do we really know about
anything, right?  But, as far as we both know, we love each other, right?"
I nodded my head and said, "Exactly".  He talked on for another half hour,
Willie likes to talk and I don't mind listening at all so we make a good
couple there... I liked the sound of his boyish voice, it was eerily like
Robbie's.  Everything he talked about had to do with comparing what he use
to think about a young gay relationship and our relationship. He said a lot
of things that gave me assurances that Larry and the Prep school boys have
lost their number one disciple. We'd bungled around a lot with our
relationship this summer, but somehow it seems to be working out the way I
hoped it would.  Of course, the better my relationship with Willie, the
more difficult my dilemma becomes... impossibly difficult maybe.

As Willie slowly ran out of things to say we slipped off the bed and he
tossed me some clothes to put on.  No silk panties this time
though... instead, first a pair of his clean jockey shorts, then cargo
shorts and a button-down-collar short sleeve shirt which I put on right
away, then I stepped into the jockey shorts and finally the cargo shorts.
Willie was still naked with his long dick swinging between his legs.  I
thought for the second time today, he's so innocent looking... Willie, and
his dick too.  I knew he and his dick weren't as innocent as they looked,
not that it mattered.  Fact is, I was thinking how I'd like to suck that
hot looking cock of Willies. He smiles as if he can read my mind, then
laughingly says, "I don't dare ask what you're thinking.  I won't asked
either" then looking at my work sneakers laying on the floor he absently
added, "those grass-stained Nikes won't look too good with what you got on
so here, put these on" and he flipped me a pair of his Birkenstock Taupe
Suede sandals that I'd seen him wear a few times on our dates.  Sweet!  I
put them on and was ready to go. Willie got dressed in almost identical
clothes, like we were twins, and then he took me to dinner at, of all
places, Ken's Steak House.  We both had prime rib of beef, mashed potatoes
and the house salad... same dinner Chubby and I had months ago. Big
difference from Chubby's and my time here, Willie didn't attempt to order
beers, so we were saved from experiencing that embarrassment this time.
Again the dinner was excellent and for dessert I'd ordered coffee and white
cake with white icing, also the same thing Chub and I had.  Actually it's
not really much of a coincidence that we had the same dinner because, when
Willie went outside to make a cell phone call, he told me to order for both
of us and, without thinking, I ordered Chubby's and my favorite
things. Naturally I was curious who Willie he needed to call in the middle
of our date but I didn't ask because that would be rude, he didn't offer
the information either which I though was kind of rude too...

The dinner was delicious and the conversation, for the most part, was a bit
like I imagined two lovers on a Valentine Day dinner might be like.  Even
though I don't think I'm special, I liked hearing Willie tell me how
special he thinks I am. He lamented again his need to go to Maine and he
nagged, even at this late hour, for me to go with him.  Of course, with
Joel out of the picture I could have gone with Willie for Saturday and
Sunday, but I didn't give in. I almost did at one point because Willie is
so persuasive, but something, I'm not sure what, something made me hold
out. The idea that I wouldn't see Willie until a week from tomorrow was
disappointing, but the memory of Larry and Charles was disturbing and
reinforced my decision not to go so I continued the lie that I'd lose my
job if I missed work Saturday. Willie gave up hoping I'd go with him and we
talked about our Saturday date a week from tomorrow.  Willie wanted to
drive us to Sea Isle City to recreate our date there earlier in the summer.
We'd stay over Saturday night in the same motel and fuck till we drop.
We'd have dinner at the same restaurant and we'd go water skiing like
before, but we'd stay clear of that gay club. We both laughed nervously
thinking about that experience and how close we came to swinging in those
hammocks with the hole in their bottom...yipes!  I couldn't imagine what
I'd tell Chubby about me staying overnight with Willie, but I wanted to do
it so I'd worry about that later and tonight I told Willie I definitely
would go with him. It sounded like fun.

This entire date tonight had been fun, but it did take me by surprise to
discover we were holding hands at the table waiting for dessert. I'd
unconsciously taken hold of his hand when he'd help it out to me as we
talked excitedly about our up-coming date in Sea Isle City. My face got
real red when the waitress plopped our dessert down on the table and said,
"Here ya go sweeties.  Which one is the girl and which the boy?  Hmmm?"  I
tried to pull my hand away from Willie's but he anticipated that and held
it tightly saying, "That is an insulting way to talk to patrons no matter
if they are teenagers, or adults, straight or gay... we're all paying the
same for our dinners".  She goes, "Whatever you say, patron" and walked off
with her fat ass swaying from side to side.  She was really pissed-off that
Willie had called her out.  It took the fun out of eating the cake and
drinking the coffee.  Willie saw me struggling to swallow a forkful of cake
and said, "Yeah, I know what you mean... let's get out of here."  He left
some money on the "check" and we left.  On the way out Willie stopped at
the reception desk and complained that our waitress had been rude and
homophobic while serving us and he'd be complaining about it in writing to
appropriate advocate groups.  The lady at the desk frowned and looked
around as she tried to follow what this kid who appeared to be about
fifteen was talking about... and where were his parents?  She looked back
to where Willie and I had come from, but no adults were following.

Outside I burst out with a relieved laugh and Willie was chuckling too
saying, "That cunt!  What ya gonna do though?"  We got really going with
that theme for a while, Willie saying, "Hope that cunt enjoys the three
cent tip I left her" and we worked that to death too. Amazingly, a little
later, Willie pulled into the same Dairy Queen that Chubby and I went to
the night we ate at Ken's.  That night with Chubby I found myself in a fist
fight with the tall dude who insulted me so I looked suspiciously at the
few tall kids I could see this evening, he wasn't one of them. There were
the same milling groups of teens here on this Friday night in August as
there were the night Chubby and I were here that June night... same teens
all summer long. If Willie and me acted like we do in Cambridge with his
arm around my waist or holding hands for example, I'd surely find myself
involved in another fight and I wasn't up for that tonight. No fight
developed because I'm no dummy, I stayed in the car while Willie got our
cones.  All it would have taken, in the middle of Framingham, was for
Willie to put his arm around my waist and all hell would have broken
loose. Willie would love it, but I'd had my ass kicked enough in my life,
I'll pass on this opportunity.

After the cones Willie drove the short distance to my condo to drop me off.
He didn't ask or hesitate tonight, but instead just parked at the curb and
kissed me like lovers kiss, long and deep.  Holding my head between both
his hands he got a little emotional telling me again how I'd changed his
life and how much he loved me... then another long kiss, with the
convertible top down, by the way.  These things don't bother Willie, he
doesn't think of them because he's been "out" in every respect since age
eleven or there abouts.  Me, I'm in the fucking closet and we're right in
front of my house at twelve o'clock at night with street lights seemingly
acting like high powered spotlights.  None-the-less I didn't pull away, I
was docile in Willie's hands because I was taken-in by the moment, and it
felt so good to be loved like this.  When I'm with Willie I don't care who
knows I'm gay, well... except for that waitress at Ken's, and Chubby, and
my neighbors on either side that we mingle with on holidays, and anyone
driving by that I go to high school with... and, who else? Hmmmm,
everybody, that's who.  But I thought those thoughts after Willie drove
off... later, while laying in bed.  In the car with Willie, I didn't care,
for real, who saw me.  Laying in bed later I shivered thinking how
impetuous and reckless my behavior was and I smacked my own head shouting,
"Wise up!  You're like a girl with a crush on the captain of the football
team!"... it was a little like that. By now I really had it bad for Willie
who represented so many positive things to me.  After tonight I was hard
pressed to remember negative things, oh sure, a couple of those dumb
dominant things but nothing I care about... I'm in love with Willie.  I
spent some time trying to figure out when and exactly what was it that
finally was the last piece to fall in place for love?  I couldn't pin it
down, but I had a very nice time falling asleep thinking about him, Willie
makes me feel so good about myself.  I love Willie, I like Willie, and I
admire him too. Willie and my relationship seems very mature compared to
Robbie's and mine.  That's very true, but I still love being with Robbie
too. And fuck! I do not need to bring that up for contemplation or I'd be
awake another hour worry about what I'm going to do with my dilemma.  I'm
pretty sure of this... to continue cheating on someone I love isn't a very
honorable thing to do, is it?


        DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 14a... CONCLUSION (1 of 2)

                                    Chapter Three

Waking up Saturday morning I felt amazingly rested and my mind was at
peace.  Somehow in my sleep I'd resolved my dilemma. It was clear to me
this morning and as I did my bathroom ritual I ran it over in my head.
Willie and I had a mutual mature love together, one that developed over
many months... we have sex in bed like lovers do.  We've been on all kinds
of dates interacting with lots of other gay and straight friends of
Willies, and we'd even spent a weekend together.  In our travels we've run
into a number of hairy situations that we've managed to negotiate safely
through. In addition to sharing a lot of fun and laughs together, we've had
our fair share of disagreements too, and we've worked them out with
compromises on both sides. I feel fulfilled, comfortable, safe, and excited
being in Willie's company and it's him I want to get to know better and
better.  I think Willie and I share a rare form of young love, it's called
true love.  As for Robbie, I'm pretty sure I love the kid, it's hard not
to.  He's yummy beyond words and he says he loves me all the time but, in
truth, he said that to me before we ever so much as had a kiss, just about.
It seems to me that Robbie and I are like two thirteen or fourteen year old
gay boys experimenting with gay sex, and even though we're thrilled with
the early results, that's hardly "being in love" with each other.  Also,
we'll be going back to school soon and now that Robbie has "come out" to
himself fully and experienced gay sex with me a few times he's going to be
looking at other boys differently then he ever has before. Sure, he has a
wicked crush on me, but how long will it be before he sees some boy in high
school that he gets all hot and bothered over. Robbie travels in different
circles then me and we won't see each other much in school.  Willie and I
are time tested together, and now Willie's telling me his gay prep school
friends don't hold the appeal for him that they use to. He's committed to
me and I should be mature enough to be committed to him. Robbie and me
together seem so scatter-brained in comparison... we sneak quick sex in my
half bath or his pick-up, we make-out like little kids in the locker room
and our entire relationship seems like it came out of nowhere, and might go
anywhere, at any time. Willie and me are solid while Robbie and me are ad
hoc... spur of the moment.

On the bus ride to work I acknowledged to myself that Robbie had done a
courageous, although a stupid thing by putting Joel's life in danger, but
he'd done it with my interest at heart trying to protect me from Joel.
Obviously Robbie has a wicked case of puppy love, but the impetuousness of
his actions just emphasizes his lack of maturity.  He's a deliciously sexy
and beautiful boy, but how temporary is his interest in me?  What I'll need
to do is ease out of our relationship over a period of a number of weeks.
It will help that we're going back to school where Robbie and I mostly go
our separate ways.  In the Fall I'll be working at Super Stop and Shop
after school and Robbie will be doing some part-time office work for his
parents, plus he has his extra-curricular school activities which culminate
in the Spring with the high school baseball team. Robbie can be my
boyfriend on the side for a while longer though... we'll enjoy some sex
together until, with the beginning of school, we start to slide inexorably
in different directions; interest-wise, mutual acquaintance-wise, course
selection-wise, and on and on.  I hope I'm not patting myself on the back
too much by thinking that I've helped with Robbie's introduction into gay
sex.  I don't think I've ever taken advantage of him... not yet I haven't,
and I aim to be sure I don't. From me he's learning about teen gay sex in a
safe environment, with a harmless mentor... me.  I'm helping him gain
confidence as well as experience.  So, OK... that's it.  I'll continue to
have some sex with Robbie, but slowly slack off as we get closer to school
so it won't be too rough on him not having me around everyday once school
starts.  Looking out the window lazily on my ride to work I thought about
all this and then sputtered out a laugh at myself... jeez, I was certainly
giving myself a lot of credit, wasn't I?  Oh well, at least I've finally
made a decision.  I wasn't going to tell Willie, or Robbie, I was dropping
either of them because I didn't need to, per se.  This was a better way to
handle it, just let me and Robbie peter-out little by little as Willie and
I got closer and closer.

I sat back in my seat on the bus and enjoyed the beginnings of a boner that
bus rides often give me.  The boner made me think back to last night and to
Willie's long boner.  I thought of how well we fit together too, and not
just with anal intercourse, but with everything. I'm not short at five
feet, ten inches but even so I'm a little shorter than Willie and when
we're hugging and he has his arms around my neck and my arms are around his
back and my chin fits under his jaw, nestled in against his neck, our
bodies seem to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.  He puts his leg in
between mine and I wrap my legs around his and we sway some, like we're
dancing to a slow romantic love song.  Willie uses his leg between mine to
put pressure on my cock and balls, helping me get hard. At times he'll
press too hard against my nuts and make me gasp, he'll hold his thigh there
until I'm quiet and then release the pressure.  It's one of his little
"things"...  he does that once in a while to show he's the boss, he's the
dominant partner, but it doesn't bother me anymore ... he'll probably be
dropping all those kind of things anyway now that he's agreed Larry and
that crowd aren't the way to go.

Smiling to myself, I also thought of the sexy things Willie does at times
during a hug or a snuggle... a few of those things I've tried on Robbie
with excellent results.  I did the arms around the neck to Robbie the same
way Willie does it to me and I've followed-up with the other stuff Willie
does too.  Like, Willie will drop his arms down from around my neck to
massage my ass cheeks and then get a hand inside the back of my pants to
massage my bare ass.  A finger will trace up and down my crack pressing a
bit harder each trip it takes, shortly I'm grunting from the feel of his
finger's pad traveling over my tight asshole. After awhile my hole will be
sweaty and Willie pushes his finger inside me and finger fuck me until I'm
squirming and humping my boner into his and then the inevitable climax in
my pants with me squealing into the side of his neck and Willie chuckling,
going "Shhhh, ha ha, feel good?" I'd done that move to Robbie with the same
results.  Oh my God, just thinking about Willie finger fucking me had my
cock bone hard and, just my luck, here's my bus stop for work. Walking up
the aisle, my boner poking out and pointing across my thigh to the left
pocket of my shorts. I had my left hand in the pocket trying to hold the
boner flat as I walked, but it was still pretty obvious what it was. I
heard the chuckles from the regular guys I see everyday as I blushed
hopping down the steps to get off the bus.  Two of the guys were gawking
out the window at me as the bus pulled away, they were grinning through
their gawking.  I grinned back with a red face and gave them a friendly
finger with my free right hand.  Both of them returned the favor and that
made me laugh out loud.  The bus turned the corner and all of a sudden I
was anxious to get to work because I'd promised Robbie I'd be here early
enough that we'd have time to do a little making-out in the old way-back
locker room.  OK, my plan is to slowly ease up with Robbie, the key word is
"slowly", not suddenly quit.  For God sakes, I don't want to break the kids
heart by cutting him off cold.

Robbie wasn't anywhere to be found and I realized I hadn't seen the
Dicker's pick-up parked in it's normal spot when I came in. Guess they
overslept or something so I went to my locker and changed into my Dicker's
Landscaping Company uniform to wait for Robbie. Damn! I really needed my
coffee, this morning especially.  Then, without really planning it in my
head, I just felt like jumping up in the air and yelling "YAHOOOOO!" or
something because it was so cool being here without fear.  No fear of Joel,
and no fear of Robbie getting caught for maybe doing something to Joel's
ride-on mower... no fear at all. Controlling my urge to cheer for myself, I
wandered back up through the locker room when Dick, one of the college kids
said, "Dylan, let's see it" and I took my hat off to a chorus of boos for
my latest flattop haircut with me waving the hat and saying, "Thank you,
thank you, thank you".  Past the college guys I had the temerity to scope
out Joel's locker in the supervisor section. It was quiet in that section,
no one else around, but even so I couldn't check inside Joel's locker
because he had a combination lock on the door.  I was curious if there
might be anything in there that shouldn't be.  It was still an unsolved
mystery who had put that stuff in my locker way back at the beginning of
the summer, it had to be Joel, right?

It felt so different today.  I felt so free and easy without the tension of
a threatening stare from Joel, or seeing him wiggling his index finger for
me to come to him, or him smacking my face or the back of my head for one
reason or another... oh God, I hated that so much.  Back sitting in front
of my locker and waiting for Robbie, thinking... should I be worried that
Robbie isn't here yet?  Then, there he was hustling down the aisle calling
out to me, "Sorry Dylan, we had an accident this morning. I got your
coffee".  I followed him down to his locker needing my morning coffee, and
also I like to watch Robbie change into his work uniform... he's fun to
look at. Robbie was clearly agitated, "Saturday mornings at Dunkin Donuts
suck, dude.  There are too many people getting big orders of stuff for
their whole families, a Saturday ritual to take the little kids too. God,
what a pain in the ass."  I took a sip of coffee and pretended to care
about his rant. I was kind of amused that somebody besides me could get
wicked frustrated with a normal slice of life.  Robbie pulled his Polo
shirt over his head and continued with his tale of woe, "The freakin Dunkin
Donuts parking lot is like a freeway, cars coming and going without
watching out for other cars, and I'm unfortunately the one driving us to
work this morning.  OK, it's busy... so I park in front of Dunkin Donuts,
go inside, wait in a long line, finally get served, carry our stuff back to
our truck, give Mom and Dad their coffees, put your's and mine in the cup
holders, check behind me three times looking both ways and then back out of
our parking spot right into the side of this little car that had just
drifted up to idle behind me. I couldn't even see the fucking thing in the
rearview mirror, couldn't see it even as I heard the crunch when my truck
had backed into it and I felt the jolt."  Taking another sip of my coffee
and with more concern in my voice this time, I say, "Nobody got hurt I
hope"... Robbie stops getting dressed, gave me a strange stare and then
says, "Nah, my crime spree is over for the time being.  No humans hurt, but
that little car was hurting.  A scratch on the pick-up's back bumper is all
we got, but they had to tow the little car out of there." I said, "Jeez, I
really am sorry. That sucks, dude." Robbie takes a deep breath, steps into
his work shorts and says, "Yeah, my Mom is pissed at me too.  Ya ever hear
of Mini Coopers? They're like Volkwagons or something, that's what the car
was.  A Mini Cooper convertible."  I'd heard of them, they were getting to
be a more common sight recently, getting popular.

I started to say something to Robbie, but he cut me off with, "There should
be a law that requires those little cars all to have tall antenna with
balloons or something on top so people can see them. Yep, ha ha, but oh
shit... that little car was all crinkled-up after being tapped by our
truck." He did chuckle slightly this time, so apparently he was getting
over his rage about the accident. That was an aspect of driving I hadn't
spent much time thinking about, accidents.  Robbie's experience made me
give a thought to Willie's little sporty convertible, guess Robbie would
put a balloon on the end of a tall antenna for that hot machine too... not!
It also occurred to me that Robbie had sort of deflected blame for the
accident away from himself which made me think... in our society it's never
anybody's fault, is it?  It wasn't Robbie's fault even though his car
smashed into the other car... it wasn't Robbie's fault because the other
car was too little to see when Robbie glanced in his rearview mirror.  I
smiled to myself thinking about human nature.  Of course, the much more
interesting comment from Robbie's rant was the "crime spree" comment.
Should I follow up and say something about that? Probably best not to right
now, but he doesn't seem too hesitant about alluding to his "crime".

Robbie and I hurried to get out to our work crew's pickup truck as soon as
he was dressed.  Toby was driving with a new guy riding shotgun. I looked
at him and nodded my head at Robbie who explained that the stocky fellow
was the replacement for Joel.  A married man from the commercial lawn care
side of the business, Harry Austin.  He was a fat jovial character who
turned out not to be nearly as funny as he thought he was. Robbie rolled
his eyes when he told me a little about Harry... I just shrugged. Harry
Austin would have to be someone really, really, really bad to make me wish
for Joel's return, really bad!  That thought reminded me of a song by the
Plain White Ts... the lyrics went in part, "I don't hate you, but I really,
really, really, really don't like you".  As the day went on, Harry was
quite annoying, but I found myself laughing at his corny jokes anyway
because, well mostly because he wasn't Joel.  Damn it, I need to be more
appreciative of Robbie getting Joel out of my life.  I looked up from my
weed-wacking and there was Robbie with the leaf blower, concentrating on
his responsibility, blowing grass clippings off the walkways.  Again I
marveled at his, what can I call it... his beauty.  He really is special to
look at.  I got this feeling in my gut like I wanted to hug him so hard or
do something nice for him, something special. My feelings were swelling up
again for him and I wondered how I could have been so cavalier earlier this
morning in dismissing Robbie as "my boyfriend on the side".  Jesus, what
was I thinking?  I'm getting as bad as Larry!  Robbie's a great kid, and
he's got a lot more going for him than I do so I should be happy he's even
interested in me.  He's smarter, better looking, is a big man on campus, an
excellent athlete, and an excellent student. So, why was I thinking I was a
big shot this morning? A big shot doing Robbie a favor having sex with him?
Get real Dylan, I told myself.  Perhaps it's Willie making me think I'm
special, and maybe I'm starting to believe him which is a very bad idea. Ah
hell, I know who I am, and I'm not a kid who is going to treat Robbie
badly, it ain't gonna happen. He's the special one and....  Just then
Robbie looked up and caught me staring at him, oh my God, what a smile he
gives me.  I stared back stupidly and then, after he looked around
mischievously, and not spotting anyone looking at us, he blew me a kiss.
My face got red as I frantically looked around too, I didn't see anyone
looking at us either and felt a little foolish.  When I peeked back at
Robbie he was grinning and chuckling at my Chubby-like paranoid behavior.
I flashed him a grin and then flashed him my middle finger which he flashed
me right back. No, I can't just wind-down with Robbie like I thought I
could this morning. I still got this fucking dilemma, it's worse then ever
actually because when I'm with him I love Robbie just as much as I love
Willie, maybe more... Oh brother!

At noon break Robbie comes right over to stand a fraction of an inch from
me to ask if we can eat lunch together.  He smells so excellent, no matter
that he's just spent over four hours doing manual labor under the high hot
sun, he still smells good enough to lick.  I say, "of course we can eat
lunch together dude, why wouldn't we?" Robbie meant off by ourselves which
I didn't want to do, but after we finished eating with the group Robbie and
I had time to walk alone, share a cigarette, and talk about private stuff.
He and Dodger wanted to come over to my place after work for haircuts, then
Robbie had to drive Dodger to a friends house where a bunch of boys were
having a beer party.  Apparently one of Dodgers bud's had parent who where
dumb enough to leave their sixteen year old son in charge of their house
while they spent a weekend on the the Cape.  God help that house.  Dodger
and his buds were planning a smallish beer party but the word will spread
and the party will get out of hand... that was Robbie's prediction
anyway. He added, "I want nothing, absolutely nothing to do with that
scene. Many of those kids will end up grounded for years."  He was real
serious about that.  I certainly didn't want to go anyway so he didn't need
to convince me.  We walked in silence for a minute and then Robbie added,
"Screw that party, but it means I'll be alone tonight Dylan, you doing
anything? I mean, I know Chubby works Saturday nights, so what's up for
you?"  It was almost like a light went on in my head then, so obvious all
of a sudden... Willie's in Maine tonight, Chubby's at the window washer
boys meeting, so I'm alone too. Hey, my sorry-ass brain says, why not a
Dylan-and-Robbie-date-night!  DUH! I guess so much has been going on the
last couple of days this obvious opportunity for Robbie and me to hook up
alone never entered my mind, not until just now when Robbie turned-on that
light in my head.  I said, "Damn, why didn't I think of this Robbie? Yo,
how about a sleep-over dude... like we were twelve years old or something,
huh? I'll make hot chocolate and we'll cook smores and make burping and
farting sounds... oh boy!"  Robbie whispers, "How bout we forget about that
shit and you fuck me all night, huh... whadda you say?"  I was smiling big
time now, "That's a better idea, dude.  Ya know, we can tell everyone we
want to do a marathon computer game challenge or something" Robbie was
excited, "Filthy idea, Dylan!  Absolutely filthy! Yes!  OK, now I'm totally
looking forward to this work day being over."

The day finished up pretty nicely, no bad things happened.  Robbie and I
were laughing and upbeat in the back of the pick-up on the ride back to the
office after work.  We were making fun of Harry Austin's terrible jokes and
ribbing one of the younger Hispanic guys who everyone called Los Lonely Boy
cause he was always singing their hit song of a couple years ago, "How Far
Is Heaven".  We were ribbing him about all the girl friends he has too.
Let's just say we were in great spirits because tonight should be awesome.
After a hot little make-out session in the old locker room we agreed that
Robbie and Dodger would come over my place for haircuts and we'd order
pizza for dinner.  "I know Dodger's going to be excited to hear we're
coming over tonight, Dylan... he thinks you're the coolest." I walked out
with Robbie and said "have a nice Sunday" to Mr and Mrs Dickers.  Walking
toward the bus stop I could hear Robbie telling his parents about this
rocking hot video game I had and how he and I were doing an all-nighter
competition playing it and blab blab blab. Smiling to myself I was thinking
that I hope Robbie didn't learn to lie that easily from me.  Nearing the
bus stop I had that urge I'd been getting more often lately, the one to
jump up and yell, "YES!!!" when things were going super in my life, like
they were right now. I'll worry about my dilemma tomorrow, or Monday at the
latest.

If I hurried from the bus stop I'd have time for a shower before the boys
arrived so jumping off the bus I ran all the way home.  Took my shower, got
dressed in cargo shorts and a sleeveless white T shirt with the word
"BALLS!" silk-screened in blue on the back... classy style.  I did the best
I could with my hair which consisted of brushing it up with a touch of gel,
then I put on the necklace Willie gave me, the watch Willie gave me, and my
hoop earring, compliments of that Wildwood piercing salon and the Mohawk
man. Damn, I looked pretty cool, even if I do say so myself. Sandals on my
feet and I went outside to sit on the steps smoking, trying to blow smoke
rings like Willie can do. Robbie was right on time tooting his horn as he
parked the pick-up truck.  Dodger, up the steps first demanding, "Gimme a
drag." and then he stopped right in front of me to say, "You look so hot!
If I didn't need to run the show at this party tonight I'd stay here and
"do" you again like I did you in the pool that time.  I KNOW you'd like
that." Passing him my cigarette, I gave him a look like, "Get serious" and
then I said, "whatever are you talking about now, little boy?" Robbie came
up the steps behind Dodger and he goes, "Little boy is right.  Dodger you
need to be seen and not heard, isn't that what Grandad is always telling
you?" Dodger ignored Robbie and gave me the sexiest look while pretending
to bite the fingernail on his index finger and nodding his head slightly at
my hand.  He wanted to chew my fingernails again... why did I find that so
sexy I wonder? I said, "You're first for a haircut Dodger and afterward
Robbie can take you to your cute little sweet sixteen party".  Dodger
dropped a couple of F-bombs saying that his party was no girlie sleep-over
like Robbie and me were doing... he was going to the hottest beer party of
the summer and Robbie and I should come too.  Robbie's saying, "That's
unlikely, Dodger" as we all headed into the condo.  I turned and flicked
the cigarette butt into the gutter, except it hit Dodger on the shoulder,
he goes, "Nice flick, spazoid". Robbie needed to call for the pizza and
after that he had to call the captain of the high school baseball
team. Those two were organizing a summer baseball camp a week before school
started and it was fast approaching.  School was just around the
corner... I'd be a senior.  WOW! It seemed like a short time ago I was a
scared little freshman.

Anyway, Dodger and I found ourselves alone in the finished basement.  He
took his shirt off saying, "Dylan, these are the clothes I'm wearing to the
party tonight so I need to keep hair clippings off of them, OK?"  I said,
"Why not get naked then?" and he goes, "You wish...." and then he did take
off his shorts and sat on the stool in tightie/whities with his semi-hard,
almost four inch cock, clearly poking out the front.  Dodger has a haircut
fetish so he was aroused already just anticipating the sound and the feel
of the clippers running through his hair.  I found his fetish fascinating,
as all fetishes are.  This kid is an exact replica of Robbie except he's
almost two years younger with brown hair and brown eyes instead of blond
and blue. He's always yummy looking, but sitting almost naked in front of
me he was extra yummy looking causing me to grope my nuts and daydream a
quick fantasy.  In my fantasy I said, "Well Dodger, how'd you like me to
suck you off after your haircut?" Dodger would be like, "Are you serious?
Don't tease me, you know I got a thing for you. Would you really?"  I'd pat
his shoulder and squeeze the back of his neck to reassure him, and....
Interrupting my daydream, Dodger turned his head to smile and ask, "Ya got
a drink of something down here that I could have?" There was a case of
bottled water on the washing machine so I got him a bottle and twisted the
cap off as he says, out of the blue, "Nobody knows I'm gay except
you... well, you and Vinny De Marco".  I ask, "Who's Vinnie De Marco? Never
heard of him before."  Dodger was very matter-of-fact, "Oh, he's my
fourteen year old fuck buddy.  Vinnie and me kind of mess around with some
gay sex together sometimes ... like, every chance we get. He's hot, not as
hot as you, but pretty hot just the same."  I waited until Dodger had
swallowed half the bottle of water then I wrapped the barbers cape around
him and said, "Where'd ya say Vinnie lives?" and we both got the giggles.
I drank some of the water from Dodgers bottle listening to him tell me he
wanted his haircut to be the same ole' buzzcut. Buzzcuts are easy to do and
they don't take long but Dodger still got turned on getting it cut, he has
a strong haircut fetish and was gasping and groping himself in no time.  He
never talks while getting his hair cut, just concentrates on the clippers.
It gave me time to daydream some more... daydream more fantasy about
sucking Dodger off.

In my head, while cutting Dodger's hair, I imagined the two us in the half
bath, right after I'd finished the haircut with the door locked, and Dodger
checking out his new "do" and breathlessly claiming, "This rocks, Dylan.  I
look soooo tough!"  The haircut would have him very aroused.  His cute face
real red and he'd be panting and biting his lower lip maybe... I'd probably
be able to smell his clean, moist, teen breath and I'd definitely want to
kiss his mouth, but instead I'd probably kneel down in front of him. It'd
be best not to waste time, time being of the essence with Robbie upstairs
for who knows how long. I fantasize taking hold of Dodger's cock and
placing it on my tongue and lapping it inside my warm wet mouth. Dodger
would blow lots of air out trying to breath as his cock got harder and
began leaking. His four inch boner would be soooo delicious to suck.  I
really do love to suck young penises. I'd sucked his cock, get it dripping
with spit, push it out with my tongue and then suck both his balls into my
mouth. Oh my god, Dodger would be so squirmy I'd need to hold his hips with
both hands keeping him in place.  What a great smelling body... I know he
has one from past experiences messing around with him, he's very "new"
smelling... his groin smell would have to be a little stale though, but
what the hell, it's after six o'clock at night and he'd been an active boy
all day long. Frankly, I liked it a tiny bit raunchy anyway. Dodger,
gripping my head with both hands, would be making little squeaky noises so
I'd need to bite down on his nuts to get him to stop fidgeting and instead
of complaining I know he'd grunt out, "Harder, Dylan... bite them harder"
and what the hell, I'd bite them harder... precum drooling out of his
little pecker and drip, drip, drip onto the tile floor as he groaned with
pleasure.  I wouldn't want to take a chance of doing damage, so no more
biting his nuts... instead I'd start licking under them.  When I had his
nut sac dripping with spit I'd lick the short way back to his asshole.  As
soon as he felt my tongue heading for his ass who knows what Dodger might
do. Ha ha ha, he'd probably move his ass up some to get his hole in a
better position for me to suck. This entire fantasy of licking and sucking
Dodger reminded me of sucking his brother off in the pick-up truck at the
dead-end road... that was no fantasy though, that was very real.  It also
made me wonder if both brothers cocks would taste pretty much the same,
real sexy-boyish taste... that's certainly the way Robbie had tasted at the
dead-end road.

Hearing Dodger quietly groan snapped me out of my fantasy... as usual he
was really into the haircut. I was using the trimmers now to outline around
his ears and across the front of his hairline to make it straight, doing
away with his natural widows peak. Then I'd make his sideburns come to a
point and square off the back of his neck... all with the trimmer clippers.
I'd noticed on the job recently that some of the young Hispanic kids had
this type of outlining and it looked really cool, especially with a
buzzcut.  I knew Dodger would like it. As I meticulously trimmed all those
areas my mind drifted back to my sucking-Dodger-off fantasy... by now, of
course, I had a nice for-real hard-on in my pants.  In my fantasy I'd need
to bend my head way back to lap his asshole and my nose would be under his
nuts while his hard four inch cock rested on my forehead drooling precum
into my hair. I'd lick his asshole which, hopefully would be somewhat
clean.  Oh sure, there'd be a little initial shitty taste but with luck
it'd be gone in a mere fifteen seconds or so.  As I got my tongue inside
his hole a few times Dodger would surely say, "I'm getting ready to cum
Dylan, suck my dick please." I'd put his boner back in my mouth and really
enjoy sucking him off. Tonguing the head of his boner with my pink
saliva-saturated tongue until Dodger's creamy spunk first oozed out from
his pee slit, and then big, hard, bursts of teen cum would splatter into my
mouth, Dodger making scary deep breathing sounds and holding my head in a
death grip keeping my nose pressed against his grown-in pubes. It'd be so
freaking awesome!

It was a great fantasy, but immediately after enjoying the last swallow of
pretend teen spunk I started to feel guilty about having the fantasy.  As I
finished the trimmer work on Dodger I was thinking "Damn my out-of-control
sex drive, and damn all the irresistibly cute gay boys around me... it just
ain't a fair fight". Dodger broke into my thoughts again when he mumbled,
"All done, Dylan?" and I was like, "Huh? Oh yeah, I did some cool trimming
along with your buzzcut... take a look in the half bath mirror". Dodger
whined, "Dylan, will you jerk me off?  I'm so horny!  That haircut almost
got me to cum in my pants, but not quite. Pluezzzze!" I say, "Don't be
silly, Dodger.  I'm no pervert, jerk yourself off."  He grumbled something
I couldn't hear as he moped over to the half bath.  Truth is I'd love to
jerk him off, but I need some self control for god sakes.  I'm no slut.  I
mean, fantasy is one thing, but.... ya know.  I did go over and listen
outside the door and I could hear that he was really going at it.  I played
with myself the whole time and then felt like a real shit.  Damn, I said to
myself, you are a pervert.  Pulling myself away from the half bath door I
went over and swept up Dodgers short hairs allowing him to finished himself
off in private, as I was willing my boner to go down at the same time.

He came out in a great mood telling me that his fuck-buddy Vinnie wasn't
going to be at the party tonight so he'd really needed that wank-off just
now because after the jerk-off he now felt capable of "pretending" to
hustle "the chicks" at the party, "Protect my image as a stud, ya know?"  I
shook my head again because I knew what he meant from my own past high
school party experiences, but it's a shame we gay guys need to do all that
pretending.  Of course, I didn't know I was pretending until my gay
coming-out experience with Carl. As we went upstairs to see what Robbie was
doing I felt bad about perving-out on young Dodger with that cock-sucking
fantasy.  I'd like to think I'm better then that.  Oh well, maybe I'm too
hard on myself... it actually was kind of innocent, wasn't it? Wish I had
an outlook more like Dodger's as he most likely wasn't giving his recent
jerk-off in the bathroom a second thought... just business as usual. Near
the top of the stairs I could hear Robbie still talking on his cell phone
and then the doorbell rang... pizza delivery? It was the pizza guy and
Robbie nodded his head at money on a small table beside the door.  I used
some of that money and some of my own to pay the pizza delivery boy who
couldn't have been a day over sixteen.  He was driving the delivery van
though so he had to be sixteen, but what a youngish, fresh face.  Big
winning smile caused me to smile back, lick my lips and wildly over-tip
him.  He did a cute thing with his eyes and said, "thanks, dude... you
rock!" and then wiggled his ass down the steps to his little double-parked
pizza delivery van.  I watched him until he got in and drove away. What a
hottie!  Jeez, I am a perve afterall...

I looked over and saw Robbie smirk at me, he was still talking on the
phone, but he'd seen the exchange between pizza boy and me. My face got
red, I had to blurt out a laugh, shaking my head as if to deny my
ogling. Dodger and me started in on the pizza and Robbie soon finished his
conversation and joined us.  It was so sweet eating with the Dickers
brothers... they're so hot to look at and they're always smiling, their
white teeth flashing through the chewed up pizza, always just on the verge
of laughter. We bump into each other affectionately as we got up to get
sodas or hot pepper flakes and it all reminded me so much of Chubby and
me. There's such a connection between us and it must be more then just that
we're gay because Chubby isn't gay and Robbie and Dodger don't even realize
that one another of them is gay... so what is it that makes us so
compatible I wonder?  Whatever it was that attracted us to each other I'm
very grateful for it because life is so good lately and the Dickers are a
big part of that.  We screwed around joking and insulting each other as we
ate every drop of two large pizzas.  We drank cokes and burped for laughs,
acting younger then the pizza boy looked.  Later, outside for a smoke
Dodger said, "Come on guys, ya gotta come to the beer party with me.  You
are my two favorite guys in the world and it won't be as much fun without
you". When Robbie shook his head "no' to Dodger, Dodger does a pretend pout
saying, " See, Robbie and me use to do everything together and now you
broke us up, Dylan."  He was kind of laughing when he said it, but maybe
there was a touch of truth to what he said. Robbie and Dodger did do
everything together just like Chubby and I used to do everything together.
Hey, life changes and now none of us does everything together like we use
to, but it's still cool when we can be together. Robbie more or less said
the same thing to Dodger and I could see the affection between them.
Absolutely amazing they don't realize each other is gay, but it's a
fact... they don't.

The three of us piled into their pick-up truck and Robbie drove Dodger to
his party.  On the way over Dodger insisted he sit on my lap like we do
coming home after the Dicker's barbecues and this was a laugh because since
Chubby wasn't here there was no need for Dodger to sit on my lap.  When
Dodger was grinding his ass on my lap, Robbie called him a queer and Dodger
said, "It takes one to know one" and Robbie said, "Eat me" and Dodger said
he didn't eat pussy and back and forth they went.  If I didn't know them
better I'd think they didn't like each other, but I know they love each
other... brotherly love, I mean.  Right in front of the party house, with
who knows who watching, the brothers did their quick kiss on the lips
goodbye and when Robbie pulled away from the curb he said, "Dodger is the
best little brother ever.  Guys complain about their little brothers but I
lucked- out with Dodger." I go, "Yeah, Dodger rocks!" and Robbie mutters,
"Would he ever rock for real if he were gay! Oh my god, he'd be something,
wouldn't he Dylan?"  I muttered right back at him, "Ya think?!" Robbie gave
me a cute grin and squeezed by thigh saying, "We're going to have the
hottest, best time tonight.  I just know it.  You're the greatest friend
anyone ever had... the hottest too!"  His face was so animated, but still I
watched him blush at his own comments.  What a beautiful boy he is.  I
muttered, "I think you're the most beautiful boy I've ever seen... I really
mean that and I really do love you too."  As Robbie's face neared the
temperature of the sun, my eyes kind of teared-up because I get too
emotional sometimes, just like Willie does. Well hell, not just
Willie... I'd seen Chubby get that way too, and even Robbie once in a
while.  Robbie's right, this is going to be the best night we ever had.
Funny, but it makes me feel kind of weak thinking about it, ain't that
strange.

final part of conclusion, next......

	       Donny Mumford             thinat20@yahoo.com

			     (thanks Brandon!)