Date: Fri, 7 Nov 2008 07:03:07 -0800 (PST)
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: DYLAN'S DILEMMA  PART 14b  FINAL CONCLUSION

          DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 14b     CONCLUSION (2 of 2)

                                      Chapter  one


Robbie and I dropped Dodger off at his friend's house, the one who was
hosting a beer party for a bunch of sixteen year old kids. It was weird
that right after that we found ourselves in some kind of strange emotional
state. We began by taking turns commenting on how cool Dodger is and then
we turned this attention on each other. We got kinda sappy telling one
another we loved each other and then I told Robbie he was the best looking
kid I'd ever seen, that he was actually beautiful, and he said I was the
most fabulous friend he'd ever had and he said he looked up to me so
much...  and it went like that for a minute or so. In hindsight it was
awkward, awkward, awkward! Both of us quickly realized that and fell into a
quiet period where we just drove along silently looking out the windows
catching glimpses of other people's lives drifting by instead of discussing
anything about our own. Robbie finally says, "Shit, that was wicked awkward
back there,
 huh Dylan?" I go, "You took the words right out of my mouth, dude, and
just for the record, I was trying for a laugh with that 'you're beautiful'
comment. Please tell me you knew that." Robbie says, "Of course I knew
that, and you knew I was just breaking your balls telling you that you're
the most fabulous person I ever met and all the other stuff, right?"  While
nervously lighting a cigarette I mumble, "Glad we cleared that up!".

We're not allowed to smoke in the Dicker's pick-up truck but I wasn't
thinking clearly at the moment and just lit up.  I think we were both a
little screwed up in the head because, from the second we dropped Dodger
off, our first date was officially on. Maybe we were slightly intimidated
by that thought, or maybe we were worried we'd let the other guy down
somehow... or, who the fuck knows, but we were definitely off our game
right then. I mean, babbling compliments to each other... get
serious!... no one does that.  Robbie wasn't thinking clearly at the moment
either because he didn't say anything about me lighting a cigarette in the
pickup, he just opened all the power windows mumbling, "give me a drag,
will ya...". See there, that's one of the benefits of smoking. It can be a
tension breaker, or an emergency change-the-topic activity... you know,
when such a thing is absolutely necessary, like right then.

After silently passing the cigarette back and forth a couple of times,
Robbie says, "Hey, look at that bumper sticker". I looked around and
spotted the one he was pointing at... it was on the bumper of a pick-up
truck one lane over. The bumper sticker stated "Yes, this is my pickup. But
no, I will not help you move".  It wasn't particularly funny, but we
chuckled at it anyway because guys at school were always trying to get guys
who had pick-ups, like Robbie, to help them haul stuff around. See what I
mean about smoking though... we were off on another tangent now, a lame
"bumper sticker" tangent.  Anything to get that lethal awkward period
fading into the past. Looking hard, I saw the next bumper sticker of note;
it read "If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass"....  another one read
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" and Robbie spotted another pretty good
one; "Keep honking your f__king horn, I'm almost done reloading".... we
were fine
 with each other by then, meaning we were comfortable and laughing, and all
like that.  I flicked the cigarette butt out the window...  it caromed off
the pickups side mirror and came right back in through the same window I
flicked it out of and ended up on my lap.  Robbie was calling me an
"spazzoid", but we were both laughing and having fun now. If you're a
teenage boy you know already that it's almost impossible to express
sentimental feelings with another teenage boy under most any circumstance,
but when you make the mistake of doing it during the day without benefit of
some controlled substance like pot or booze you've left yourself hanging
out there blowing in the wind, dude. Robbie and I helped each other survive
our mistake in that regard and I'm sure we both felt closer as friends for
doing so.  Not always, but occasionally when two gay boys are making out,
or when they're having a little gay sex together it's OK to whisper a few
terms
 of endearment, but driving around at dusk one just doesn't do that... it's
totally too girlie.

Back at the condo Robbie wanted the haircut before we did anything else,
especially after the awkwardness in the pickup... so we went downstairs to
take care of his flattop. By then we both appeared relaxed and all the way
back into especially nice moods again. For me it was being with Robbie on a
"date" that brought the good feelings back, and like I said, we make each
other feel real comfortable and relaxed almost all the time anyway, so this
was nothing unusual.  Then, at the bottom of the steps something took my
emotions by surprise. Robbie was right there in front of me, I don't know
... somehow this warm emotional feeling simply overtook me, I lost all my
self control and hugged him around his neck, pulling him back against my
chest, and even though we'd just experienced that rare "too sentimental"
awkward moment just ten minutes ago, I still felt compelled to whisper in
his ear, "I lied earlier, you really are beautiful, and you smell sexy
 and soooo good too". Robbie squirmed around to be face to face with me and
said, "I lied too" and we started a hot make-out like the ones we do in the
way-back locker room at work. I couldn't stop myself because he feels and
smells so much like a teenage boy should feel and smell. Robbie was
intoxicating to me and thrilling and sexy and hot to me as well.  His body
was slim but muscular, an athlete's body. Every part of Robbie feels firm
and tight and tough... I just love the feel of him.  I rubbed my nose
against the side of his face to absorb his natural scent and murmured,
"Mmmmmm, ooooh" rubbing my nose in the hairs on the side of his head made
me dizzy with desire. All those years that I'd lived with these needs,
these urges in me to be sexually intimate with another boy... those needs
and urges hidden within my subconscious mind, but now they're loose and
it's wild and almost scary that I can't get enough and I can't get
satisfied. And,
 oh my god, with boys like Willie and Robbie anxious to share themselves
with me I lose self control and give in to deep desire.

My lips slid across Robbie's rosy-colored cheek and met-up with his full,
bow-shaped lips and we both moaned at the same time our tongues met. Robbie
likes to trap my top lip in between his lips to suck it for a second and
then he spreads our combined spit from our nose to our chin, the faint
smell of his saliva is very erotic to me. I felt his hard spike of a cock
poking my groin as my own boner began leaking. Our conversation in the
pickup a distant memory now, Robbie huskily whispered, "Fuck me Dylan, I
really need you to fuck me so hard I'll never forget it... I don't want to
ever forget this one rough fuck on our first date together.  Make me
whimper from the heat of it, make me cum harder then I ever did before.
Fuck me so rough and hard and heavy and long it will always be part of
me.... do it, dude! please... "  We were hugging each other so tightly only
our heads were moving ... our making-out was reaching frantic intensity. I
borrowed
 Robbie's own favorite make-out move and sucked on his tongue till he tried
to pull his head away... his rapid breaths of moist bursts of air went
directly up my nose, the smell of his saliva was all I could smell and like
I said, it arouses me something nasty/good, so sexily hot!  Literally, his
spit dripped off my chin.  Letting go of his tongue we rubbed our noses
together back and forth, back and forth, then more French kissing until I
could just make out Robbie pleading, "Please Dylan, fuck me..." I was close
to hyperventilating when I pulled my head back slightly, and reaching
behind Robbie I pulled his cargo shorts and underpants below his buttocks
while grunting out, "in there, grab the sink". I meant Robbie should go in
the half bath that was right next to us.

Two steps over and Robbie was in that little bathroom, he bent over and
held onto the sink with both hands, all the time panting to catch his
breath. His face reflected in the mirror over the sink... it was pale, his
eyes closed, the top of his head bending back towards me causing his adams
apple to protrude slightly.  I gasped at that image of him... yes, he's
beautiful, but totally 100% boy; nothing feminine about him at all.  It's
amazing actually, him being so beautiful but still totally boyish at the
same time.  Reaching in front of him now, almost in a trance, I roughly
pulled his shorts and underpants down over his hard cock, down to meet the
back of his shorts... they bunched around his knees... his shoulders
shuddered involuntarily as I squeezed his bare ass and pushed at his hole
with my finger. Robbie went, "Aggg, oh... oooooo".  My boner was wet with
precum, and with that as our only lube, I pressed the head of my cock
against his rosebud
 hole and forced it right in past his sphincter ring... Robbie cried out,
"Ohh, that hurts".  "Should I stop?" I gasped... Robbie shook his head "no"
and then grunted the word, "No, don't stop". For some reason, maybe because
he asked for it this way, I felt rough and abrupt, so without hesitating I
forced my boner all the way up inside him more roughly then I've ever done
it before and Robbie gasped out "Ahhh oh yeah... ohhh, Dylan, yeah" as he
went up on his toes and pushed back with his ass at the same time. Then,
without thinking about doing it, I smacked his bare ass really hard on both
sides, twice. He went, "Ahhh, ouch! ohh, ahhh, yeah..."  And then, without
comment, I fucked him dry and raw for a half dozen strokes until precum or
ass lube or something smoothed the way and it was slap, slap, slap, slap,
slap after that. Not from me spanking him, but from my groin getting sweaty
and smacking off his perfect half cantaloupe-sized buttocks.
 That contact made the slapping sound with each slam of my crotch up
against his ass. I couldn't stop or even slow up, I was all about fucking
his perfect ass as fast and as hard as I could... no slowing down, no
hesitation, no concern for how it felt to Robbie, just deep long humps up
his ass gasping for air with each thrust.  Somewhere in my brain I probably
knew Robbie was getting what he wanted because he was so totally
cooperative of my every move, but the actual thought that this was pleasing
him never entered my conscious mind. I wanted to fuck him in a wild manner
just because I wanted to, that's all...

Initially I held tightly onto his hips while slamming my hard cock... my
boner bigger and fatter then it's ever felt before, slamming it up his
asshole as fast and as deep and as hard as I could.  Robbie was going
"Ah..." at each deep penetration, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah....". My
breathing became labored as the sheer energy expended increased with each
hump, sweat broke out on my forehead... I let go of his hips and got a hold
on both his shoulders to pull him back into my thrusts. His body was
bumping against the sink, his head bouncing back and forth with every
penetration, and the constant "Ah, ah, oh, oh..." from Robbie.  I was lost
in Robbie's ass, nothing else mattered, no thoughts entered my mind... just
the wonder of fucking him.  It was awesome in some new and perfect way.  My
balls got so hard and tight against my groin it scared me, but still I held
off cumming. In the mirror I could see Robbie's dripping four inch boner
bobbing and
 bouncing off the front of the sink... up and down it went, pre cum spray
flying off as I fucked him steadily, we were choreographed by now... all
our movements synchronized perfectly. Except for that steel spike
protruding from his pubic patch, Robbie's body was docile and flimsy and it
really belonged pretty much exclusively to me at the moment.. he certainly
wasn't about to object. He had his eyes lightly closed, but his lips moved
to whisper something I couldn't hear, spit glistening on his full, dark
pink lips and drooled down his chin as his head jerked about from the rough
fucking I was laying on him.  Even so, his face looked peaceful and quite
relaxed now, it was a look of contentment, of pleasure... the thought
flashed through my brain... 'Robbie likes getting fucked as much as I do'.
My cock never, ever felt this big or this good making me have another new
thought, it was: 'I like doing this with Robbie, maybe more then getting
fucked
 myself!'  and because it was so erotically perfect, the next thought was a
question: "Am I really in some kind of trance, am I dreaming?".

The trance turned into a series of squealing sounds emanating from me, they
surprised the hell out of me actually. What caused my squeals was Robbie
shooting his first stream of cum and in doing so closing his spinster
muscle around my boner so tightly it more or less dragged cum right up from
my balls in one long luscious explosion, and was it ever a sloppy mess up
Robbie's ass after that. The squealing started around that time.  I can't
remember ever shooting that much spunk out in one blast, what a feeling at
the head of my cock too! Stars glowed and streamed behind my eyes, rockets
went off in my nuts and, oh my God, did my cock ever slide in and out easy
now, but only until Robbie closed his sphincter again for another shot of
his teen spunk... my cock was squeezed once more in the most excellent
manner pulling a few more drops of cum up from my nuts... every inch the
cum traveled up my boner was ecstasy for me, and then when it shot out my
 pee slit the sensation had my entire body quivering.  After my second
spurt of cum I found myself laying chest down on Robbie's back, my arms
around his stomach, humping him with short fast strokes while blowing lots
of saliva laden air onto the back of his neck.  My climax had come on so
fast and so intensely that only after it was over did I realize Robbie had
matched, actually he imitated, my squeals... squeal for squeal. I wish I
had a better word then "squeal"... wish we'd made different noises, but
that's what it sounded like... unexpected squealing! Everything felt weird,
but great.  My toes had spread apart when I climaxed which was new for
me... the entire thing from beginning to end was fabulous, but odd too
because it came on so fast and out of nowhere and started and finished with
me almost in a hypnotic state.

Now, with the after-glow of my climax giving me the shivers, I started
appreciating everything more... Robbie's tight hole, the feel of his body
as I lay on him, his smell, my pulsating cock still in his hole, and
Robbie's moans of pleasure. He started moving and we straightened-up
together.  Robbie wrapped his arms around my arms that I had wrapped around
his body and we hugged tighter with Robbie pushing his head back so my
cheek was against his ear. He was going, "mmmmmm, oooooh".  Then he
murmured so low I could barely hear him, "That was the best feeling I ever
had, ooooh my ass feels so good..."  I was breathing long exhales, then
inhales slowly, not saying anything... just looking at our reflection in
the mirror.  What an erotic scene for me. My cock up Robbie's ass and my
arms wrapped around him, Robbie's docile body language, as well as his
compliant demeanor, it all combined to give me a feeling like I was so
totally in charge of this
 picture, so much so dare I say the "D" word. Well, Robbie was totally
submissive, so ... could it be true? I was dominant?  Such a different
perspective from my dates with Willie that I'll need to think more about
this, but not now... now it's all about Robbie and me.  Moving my head a
little I kissed the side of his perspiring head and finally said, "Me too,
Robbie... it was awesome.  You're awesome." I pulled my softening cock out
of him and Robbie, talking quietly still, goes, "No,
nah... don't... ahhh... ohh, man. Oh Dylan, that rocked, dude". I nodded my
head as my wet cock flopped off my thigh and, still in kind of a fog,
asked, "How the hell, what the... how'd we get going so fast, Robbie?"  I
did a chuckle and added, "Jeez, seriously dude, we're walking down the
steps for your haircut and the next thing I know my boner is up your
doo-dee hole and feeling so fine!"  Did you hypnotize me Robbie?"

Robbie had rolled toilet paper into a ball and was dabbing at cum drooling
from his asshole mumbling, "No kidding around, Dylan... that was the
hottest feeling I ever had... you're so awesome!  You couldn't see it but
my hotshot of cum spattered against the mirror, way up on it. It came
flying out so fast it burned my dick, never felt anything like that before.
Really Dylan... it was wonderful, the best I ever imagined."  Looking at
the mirror then I saw the splattered cum drooling down... there was a lot
too and it was high on the mirror... whoa! So, how come I didn't notice
that before? Hmmmm? Then, noticing how sentimental Robbie was acting, I'm
like, "Remember that awkward moment in the pickup? Let's be careful what we
say here."  I was trying for a little levity because Robbie seemed so
serious, but he continued in a very serious tone, "I'm going to be
following you around like I'm your pet puppy dog saying, "Please fuck me
Dylan. I mean
 it, I am!  I'm going to do it in school too!".  I looked up at him
quickly, but he had a grin on his face now so we avoided a return to
"awkward land".  I got some clean toilet paper and wiped the mirror and
then helped Robbie wipe the cum running down the inside of his thighs. I
muttered, "No need to beg, kid... just point at your ass and I'll know what
you mean, OK?" Robbie was smiling a little, but still he did have that look
about him that I've mentioned before.  The one he had our first time having
sex together... the look that seems to infer I'm the greatest boy ever
born.  Of course it makes me feel good, it's flattering as anything could
be, but I also felt this incredible sense of responsibility to him, like I
couldn't let him down... ever. And, damn, I'm not sure I'm capable of that.
There's something ridiculously innocent about Robbie at times like this
too, but how can that be? He's not some backward loser with a big nose and
pimples
 who stutters and picks his nose in public. Robbie's one of the chosen
ones; he's cute/handsome, smart, a gifted athlete, off-the-charts likable,
and on and on... that doesn't add up to innocent, does it? Or, maybe one
thing doesn't have anything to do with the other. All I know is, looking
the way Robbie looks at me, it makes me want to take care of him and like I
said, never let him down.  He'd made that half-hearted attempt at going
along with my light manner but I felt that he was still in a "loving" frame
of mind so I squeezed the back of his neck and mouthed "I love you" and
Robbie leaned right in against me and we hugged again.  His body melded
into mine somehow and it was certainly a wonderful feeling... I rubbed up
the back of his head and then did a long kiss on the side of his forehead.
Jesus, who could resist Robbie?

Our dicks were still swinging in the breeze as we continued our embrace a
while longer and I followed-up with a few more kisses which eventually got
both our swinging dicks turning into boners again.  Robbie let out a long
contented sigh and with his lips right on my ear whispered, "Can you fuck
me again, Dylan? ... now, I mean" I nodded my head and quietly said, "Yeah,
sure... but let's do it in my bed this time Robbie" and I said no more as
right then I had a bit of trouble catching my breath... the thought of
fucking him again was so hot!  Outside the bathroom we let go of each other
and I followed Robbie up the steps.  His bare ass had all my attention half
way up the stairs.  Robbie doesn't have a particularly big ass, just the
right size for the rest of him actually... and most definitely not
flat. Two nice slightly-uplifting half moons, firmly plush, totally
hairless, pinkish with some rosy color, like his face. I reached up with
both hands
 and got a fistful of his ass in each. Robbie stopped on the steps and I
massaged those perfect ass cheeks... just about everything about him is
unbelievable ... including his almost four inch penis, which by the way is
super fine too if you ask me.  With his head leaning back, Robbie moaned,
"That feels good... this is so great, Dylan.  We have all night, right?" I
go, "Yes, all night, dude. It's better then great, Robbie... it's perfect".
I slipped a finger in his hole and pushed it all the way in, up to my
knuckles.  Ahhh yeah, it went in easy with the help of the residual cum
from my climax.  I finger fucked him as Robbie tightened his hole and make
a continuous "Mmmmmmmm" sound.  With half a chuckle I said, "Get moving,
boy...  to the right at the top of the steps". Keeping my finger up his
hole I steered him to my bedroom and inside there I pulled my finger out
saying, "Let's get naked Robbie and in my bed". It didn't take fifteen
seconds
 for both of us to get naked and under the sheets where we cuddled
together, chilly at first against those cool sheets.

My bed is a twin so two teen boys our size have little choice, we had to
cuddle because we were touching each other from shoulder to toes anyway.
With us two, the cuddle turned into another hot make-out session which I
love to do so much. Willie taught me the intricate details of making out
and he still does it the best of anyone, but making out with Robbie is such
a delicious thing there isn't a lot to choose between... Willie or Robbie,
both totally awesome.  They both have wonderful tasting saliva, sweet
breath, and a hot, sexy body odor... different for sure, but both desirable
and impossible to choose between.  I can only hope the way I taste and
smell to them is half as good as the way they do to me.  Robbie's hair is
so soft and thick... the individual hairs aren't thick, they're fine and
silky, but there's so many of them it feels thick.  I better not elaborate
about Robbie's beautiful hair in the detail it deserves.... the light blond
 color with the slightly darker blond hairs showing off the lighter
ones... I can't go on about it because it's just like my hair and it would
seem like I'm conceited. Where hair is concerned though, Robbie and I could
be identical twins although that's about as far as the identical twins
thing works because we don't look alike. Our hair is the same so I'll say
no more about it except, I've never seen sexier hair then Robbie and I have
on anyone, male or female... hahaha.  Well, it's true, I'm not being
conceited, just factual.

Making out in my bed, under the sheets naked, was quite different from
making out in the old locker room at work. Here we were doing it without
the frantic edge we experience in the locker room, and some of that edge
was even present to a certain degree earlier this evening.  The frantic
aspect of it was caused by different concerns of course... in the locker
room we're on alert for the sound of footsteps or voices while earlier this
evening we got frantic because we were both in an erotically-hot,
sexually-stimulated situation caused by the presence of each other.  In my
bed now it was more lovey/dovey making-out... very hot, very romantic, very
wet, but not hurried or frantic at all.  We'd gotten that desperate edge
taken off our horniness with the earlier fuck and now we were doing
everything slow and easy, enjoying the ride.  Our teeth scraped together at
times and it probably sounds crazy, but I really liked when that happens.
I also like to
 lick under Robbie's top lip, across his teeth, then the same with the
lower teeth.  In our current relaxed state we take turns, letting each
other do what each likes best. When I was done licking under his lips and
across his teeth, Robbie did what he likes best, sucking my
tongue. Sometimes he sucked it so hard it became uncomfortable, like
Willie's hickeys, but I didn't complain because Robbie sucking my tongue
gave me the hardest boners I can ever remember getting. Robbie is sexually
hotter than most people who know him could ever imagine.  We exchanged a
lot of spit, actually making a point of exchanging it... scraping spit off
our tongues with our teeth so that bubbly clear globs of saliva traveled
from one mouth to the other, and we'd swallow it.  We got a little wild,
like licking each others nose routinely... actually we were kinda like two
wild animals in the jungle licking and tasting each other without limits.
Bodily fluids from one to
 the other made it all the sexier. How far off could drinking each others
pee be? Well, further then you might imagine I'd guess, but sweat, spit,
sperm... all good to exchange.  I liked when our hard foreheads bumped
together as we kissed and licked and rustled about in the bed under the
covers.  Oh man!... what a luxurious feeling to be in bed naked in each
others arms without a care in the world except for each other. We always
went back to rubbing our noses together, back and forth ten times, maybe
more, with our tongues out rubbing together as we moved our heads back and
forth.  It was the sexiest of times, we said nothing and did whatever we
felt like doing.

Cool, clean sheets on bone-hard teen boners is an excellent feeling... it's
excellent to hug a tight, toned teen boy's hairless body too.  The awesome
feel of your boner poking his boner and then both boners flattening against
or between both our thighs or bellies or, in Robbie's case, his boner at
times went in between my legs and poked the mattress under us.  My boner
was too long to do that so with Robbie laying on top of me, my boner would
be flat between our stomachs and Robbie's hard cock straight down between
my legs with me squeezing my thighs together and Robbie moaning into my
mouth as I licked the back of his white, smallish teeth and then the roof
of his mouth.  Finally Robbie whined, "I'm going to cum again Dylan and I
wanted you to fuck me, but I'm going to cum on your mattress instead".  He
was highly stimulated, over-stimulated actually, seemingly a little bit
agitated too.  I quietly said, "Just relax, calm down Robbie.  Roll over
 on your side" which he did, his back to my chest and I kept my arm around
him loosely saying, "Don't stroke yourself, Robbie.... just wait".  I could
hear and feel him doing big breaths in and out slowly as his body went from
taut to relaxed.  He said, in a more good natured voice now, "Dangerous
explosion avoided..." and we lay quietly like that for awhile. Robbie broke
the silence with, "I'm OK now Dylan, but I think I better do a doody before
you fuck me again" and that comment got us both out of bed.  It might sound
strange, but I really liked the way Robbie came out with that sort of
embarrassing necessity of needing to take a crap... it emphasized how
comfortable we were with each other. He went into the bathroom and I put on
a flimsy old robe and went into the kitchen to get us something to drink. A
quart bottle of red Gatorade was unopened and very cold in the refrigerator
so I choose that. Walking back to my room I changed from the robe to
 my cargo shorts which I'd picked-up off the floor.  Then, calling to
Robbie, I told him I'd be on the front steps drinking Gatorade and having a
cigarette.  I felt so good, so content... and knowing we had all night
together, and it wasn't even nine o'clock yet... well, duh! yeah, I felt
fantastic!  And then a thought about that strange fact "I'm the dominant
sex partner here"!  It's certainly true enough, but I didn't want to
contemplate the significance of it at this particular moment even though it
did give me a buzz in my nuts... being dominant is way hot too, it seems.

Robbie showed-up wearing the old robe I'd had on a few minutes ago, drying
his hands on a paper towel, he says "Warm outside after the
air-conditioning inside, huh?"  I go, "Not as warm as you, hottie! Want a
cigarette?"  Robbie took one, I lit it with my Bic lighter and after
dragging on the smoke, Robbie asked "How many of these do you smoke a day?"
and we talked about that for a little while.  I told the truth, usually I
smoke only three or four cigarettes a day, Chubby too... but on special
occasions like that time in Robbie's garage with all four of us messing
around I might smoke twice my normal amount.  That was rare though.  Robbie
says he and Dodger might go a week without smoking at all and then buy a
pack and smoke it in two days... binge smoking, he called it.  I said,
"Five cigarettes each, two days in a row, and then no cigarettes for a week
or more? Dude, that isn't binge smoking... it's 'hardly smoking', is what
it is".  Robbie and I
 agreed that we smoked mostly when one of our peers is smoking and almost
always in an effort to look cooler then we felt we were.  Robbie told me I
looked too cool to even need to smoke and then, just to be a smartass, he
did an exaggerated exhale right in my face with me screaming about second
hand smoke, making Robbie laugh.  We talked about Chubby and me getting our
drivers license soon and I told him about Ms Oberbite which had him holding
his sides laughing as I embellished how horrid she was.  Robbie talked
about Dodger being "so straight" and him, Robbie, being gay and how it was
sure to be a problem sooner or later.  I held my tongue feeling disloyal to
Robbie, but not wanting to break a trust to Dodger either.  It was a nice
time for conversation and we were in no hurry.  We talked for half an hour
and I finally asked, "Ya wanta rest in bed awhile?" but I said it in a
funny way which made Robbie smile and grab his crotch saying, "Don't you
 dare touch me, you animal.  I'm a virgin!" Adopting my "dominant"
personality just a tad, I said "Get that robe off and get your ass in
bed"... to my surprise Robbie dropped the comical stuff and said seriously,
"Oh, OK Dylan, I'm ready".  He stood up and hustled in the front door with
me standing there biting my bottom lip wondering... what the...?  I was
joking with him, I think.  It gave me a buzz in my nuts again though, I
mean... the way Robbie immediately did what I told him to do.  Maybe it was
more then a buzzing in my nuts, maybe it was closer to a hard-on. I took a
deep breath, told myself to "keep it real, dude!" and slowly followed the
same route Robbie had taken inside.

When I got there he was already in bed, his big eyes shining and his mouth
slightly parted, a look of anticipation on his face.  I smiled and quietly
said, "I was joking out there, Robbie... I'm not the boss of you". Robbie
licked his lips and said, "I like it when you tell me what to do. Remember,
I told you about that before, but it's OK if you don't want to."  I sat on
the bed and said, "Just hearing you say that makes me feel funny, Robbie.
I don't know why, but it does." He nodded his head and said, "OK, if you
don't want me to say it, I won't say it again" and then he looked
attentively at me as if he were waiting for more words of wisdom... or
maybe instructions.  I didn't know what to say so I smiled nervously and
said, "Let's fuck, dude... you get me so hot it's a little bit surreal
sometimes".  Robbie again nodded his head enthusiastically and said, "You
too, Dylan!".  I felt such a connection to him, he's always conscientious
about
 everything he does and apparently, no matter what I'd prefer, he's going
to be conscientious about being submissive to me too.  What the hell, I'm
not going to hurt him... I love him. Walking over to the bed unbuttoning my
cargo shorts, then stepping out of them right next to Robbie I said that
same thought out loud to him, "I love you, Robbie".  He looked at me biting
his bottom lip.  I added, "And it's not just the sex either, I love all of
you."  He scrunched-up his face then, bit his lip again, shook his head
slightly as if to clear it and mumbled, "I know, you told me you loved me
before... and it's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me... my favorite
words from my favorite person".

Well, what the hell do I say to that?  It's an example of how innocent he
can be sometimes. He just bares his heart, wears it on his sleeve.  Nothing
coy about Robbie.  I mumbled a thank you and out of nowhere he blurts out,
"You know I did that stupid thing to Joel's ride-on mower, don't you?"
Stunned momentarily, I nodded my head once and he goes, "I know it was
wrong, but I'd do anything to protect you.  Joel tried some of that shit on
me last year when I wasn't sure I was ready to be gay yet. I rejected him
and threatened to tell Dad.  Joel said to..."  I go, "You don't need to do
this, Robbie.  I don't need to know anymore. Let's just forget it." He
looked away and talked to the wall then, saying, "I need to talk about it
Dylan, but I promised myself I wouldn't ruin our date with it... and fuck
if I'm not doing exactly that.  Here I am getting ready to bawl like a baby
and unload my guilty conscience on you and mess-up our first date something
 terrible." Pulling the covers up at the corner and motioning with my head
for Robbie to move over some I climbed into bed beside him and softly said,
"I never thanked you directly for that because I wasn't sure how you felt
about the way it turned out.  Joel will be OK and you did protect me
Robbie, but please, I beg you, never do anything like that again. I'm the
last person to lecture anyone about anything but, oh my God, the
possibilities of disaster in something like that are frightening, ya
know. For you too, I mean." Robbie muttered, "I thought about it later and
it made me throw-up, but I needed to do something to help you.  Ya know
Dylan, he was going to do terrible shit to you and I couldn't let that
happen." Robbie held his hands out in front of him and said, "Look, my
hands are still shaking just talking about it... still, the things he was
going to...." and his voice trailed off.

Waiting a second to see if he was done, I took hold of his hand closest to
me and held it... as I've said before, I like holding a boy's hand.  The
palm of a boy's hand against the palm of my hand is somehow magical to me.
I held his hand firmly, but not in some captured way... he could have
easily pulled it away if he wanted.  He didn't though.  With us holding
hands, Robbie stared at nothing in a spaced-out way for a minute or so and
then began quietly describing some of his personal encounters with Joel,
"At first when Joel talked tough to me, ordering me to stand-up straight in
front of him and stuff, I got such a hard dick listening to him and doing
exactly what he told me to do I didn't know what to make of it... plus, I
couldn't figure out how he knew I was gay.  Nobody else in the world knew,
except me.  It was a totally mysterious thing to me. Actually, I think I
wanted to have him do something "gay" to me and for weeks I jerked-off
wondering
 what that "thing" might be.  In the end though, like I said before, I was
more scared then curious and told him I'd rat him out if he tried anything.
He needed this job I guess because he backed off his threats, that is,
after calling me a pathetic cunt and other things...  we haven't spoken ten
words to each other since then, over a year now."  Robbie stopped to sneak
a look over at me and catch his breath.  I thought, well, obviously, what a
weird individual Joel is, but I now wonder if he was in fact all that
dangerous afterall... maybe not.  Robbie's story seems to indicate that the
bully part of Joel backed off as soon as he was threatened. I couldn't
remember ever going on the offensive with him though so you couldn't prove
that by me, I just played the scared little mouse role around Joel. It's
strange I didn't at least try backing Joel down because I eventually
called-out the Marine that time, sort of.  I guess I was more intimidated
by Joel
 and I guess Robbie has more guts then I do... or maybe, because I didn't
want to take a chance of screwing-up the Dicker's company, I tried the
"rational reasoning" approach with Joel instead of threats.  Not that it
did a bit of good.

Robbie was obviously still distraught by his last summer's 'Joel
experience' because even after more then a year he got upset just reciting
his history with scary Joel.  And maybe that makes Robbie's act of
sabotaging Joel's ride-on mower both more courageous, as well as, more
understandable.  More courageous because he's obviously very afraid of Joel
so the fear of getting caught while loosening that nut must have been
considerable, and at the same time, doing the deed is more understandable
because he was getting some revenge for the way Joel treated him last
year... as well as saving me.  Looking over at the side of Robbie's
youthful face I marveled at his bravery and my heart swelled with affection
and admiration for him. Squeezing his hand during our brief silent period
caused Robbie to turn his head to look at me, real serious expression on
his face as he said, "Thinking back on my personal experiences with that
sicko made me feel so bad for you,
 Dylan... that's why I got a little emotional when you told me about it in
the locker room that time.  I had such hate for that sick fuck!  Just
knowing that you must have been afraid and feeling alone, like I did last
year... and so I wanted to be the one to save you.  I almost shit my pants
when I heard him scream though, the reality of it and all. Then, afterward
I was afraid I'd be caught, but I purposely kept this false bravado thing
going, pretending it was no big deal.  Oh Dylan, you're right, lets drop
this topic forever.  I just wanted everything out on the table one time so
ta speak... confess it to you openly, I guess.  I don't know...."

Getting my arm around his neck we gently and silently began snuggling
again. Robbie as docile and malleable as it's possible to be. I maneuvered
him this way and that with small movements getting us in the best snuggling
position... it was all fine with Robbie. We got real comfortable, but not
in an especially sexy comfortable way this time; it was more of a
"comforting" comfortable way, if that makes any sense.  Robbie appears
somewhat conflicted about causing Joel's accident.  He appeared proud to
have "saved" me on the one hand; embarrassed with guilty feelings on the
other, and relief at getting away with it on the third hand.  I think I was
glad he felt some guilt because it had been a rash and dangerous thing to
do and one should feel some guilt about putting another's life in danger.
Joel could have been killed. It's over though, and as far as I'm concerned
I'm never mentioning it again. Robbie got it off his chest and appears
anxious to move
 away from it.  We snuggled silently for quite some time, dozing off at one
point.  I glanced at my watch thinking I'd fallen asleep but it was just
after ten so I may have dozed off, but no deep sleep.  It was kind of hard
not to dwell on Robbie's conversation, but I forced myself not to.  Then
the topic of being dominant in sex with Robbie tried to push it's way into
my head, but I managed to resist that one too.

Actually what helped me avoid those topics was the need to pee.  As the
gatorade from earlier this evening made it's way through my body the need
to pee grew stronger and stronger until it became obvious that no matter
how nice it was laying here with Robbie, I'd need to get up eventually, so
I just did it... I hopped out of bed. The bed springs creaking as I got off
it had Robbie mumbling, "What? Dylan, is everything OK?..."  I told him it
was, and I told him what time it was and I added, "Ya wanta get up and
we'll do the haircut now?" As I went in the bathroom Robbie goes, "Huh? Oh,
yeah... let's do that" and I heard a big yawn so he had fallen asleep I
guess, lucky him.  Robbie was out of bed and dressed by the time I came out
of the bathroom, he quietly asked, "Do you think I'm terrible, Dylan? You
know, for putting Joel's life in danger like I did?" Thinking to myself,
'so much for never bringing this up again', I go, "No, absolutely not. I
think
 you're my hero, Robbie... and, let's always think of it that way, but
never mention it to anyone else, let's not even bring it up again among
ourselves, ever.  OK?" Robbie's eyes were bright, he took a deep breath and
said, "Never mention what?" then a smile broke out on his face for the
first time in a while.  Boy, does that boy have a cute smile.  I nodded my
head and grinned at him saying, "Huh? What do you mean?" I got dressed and
we went down to the finished basement.  Robbie wanted the same flattop
haircut that Willie introduced us to a couple of months ago.  His light
blond hair by now was totally trained to stick straight up off the top of
his head.  I trimmed it more then doing a full haircut because I think it
it looked better when it was a little bit longer flattop.  On Robbie that
old-time flattop looked so cool, he had the perfect shaped head and the
perfect face to carry off the All American high school athlete look.  And
did he ever turn
 me on with that "look" too. Halfway through the haircut Robbie says, "You
still haven't done "it" to me a second time tonight, ya know. You are aware
of that, right?"  I go, "Are you sure?  I thought we did it
again... hmmmmm. Well, if you say we didn't, I guess I'll need to do you
again after the haircut".  And I did too, a slow fuck in my bed starting
out doggy-style but switching to two other positions the way Wllie does
with me.  We ended up with Robbie on his back and me knelling between his
legs fucking him while we made-out, Robbie making whimpering sounds of
pleasure and both of us, after a sweet twenty minute fuck, shot-off really
nice cum loads, nice loads especially when you consider they were our
second loads of the evening.

Next morning my alarm went off at seven o'clock because Robbie needed to be
home by eight o'clock to get ready for nine o'clock Mass.  He's Catholic
and the Dickers go to nine o'clock family Mass every Sunday.  Of course it
doesn't take an hour to get from my house to his, we set the alarm an hour
early so we could practice fucking one more time before our "date" was
over.  Oh my God, slipping my boner inside Robbie first thing in the
morning, in our warm bed, with his scent drifting up from under the covers,
our skin smooth against one another, Robbie crying out quietly, "Oooooh
that feels so goooood!  Faster Dylan, fuck me faster... Ahhhhhh yeah, oh
oh" It was awesome laying on our sides, my chest against his back, fastened
together by my cock up his ass, my arms around him hugging him, humping my
hips up against his rosy buttocks till I thought nothing could ever feel
better... after a few minutes Robbie climaxed onto my sheets and then
something
 did feel better, his hole closed down on my boner and the thrill of cuming
followed quickly after that clamp-down.  I fucked him for five minutes
after both of us climaxed. Getting dressed a little later Robbie told me he
almost cried from happiness three or four times during our first "date".  I
said, "Alright, but remember our awkward experience in the pickup
yesterday, let's watch what we say, OK dude?"  Robbie goes, "Oh, fuck that
Dylan... I love you!" I whispered, "Shit, seriously Robbie, shhhh, my Mom
is sleeping in the next room."  I was doing another Chubby paranoia thing
which just made Robbie smile.  He came over to the bed I was still laying
in and kissed my face in four places saying, "You're so funny... I was
barely talking above a whisper. Can't wait for our second date, Dylan.  You
rock so much!" and we kissed goodbye.  I thought about Robbie for a while
and played with my dick while I did it... then I fell back to sleep.


          DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 14b CONCLUSION (2 of 2)

                                        Chapter two

Then, I was suffocating. With my mind in a fog I'm thinking... am I
dreaming or am I dying? Opening my eyes I see Chubby's smiling face looming
over me. He was clamping my nostrils lightly together with his thumb and
index finger, he continued doing so even after he knew I was awake. In
fact, he pinched harder and smiled harder too, with me laying immobile
staring into his big, bright, smiley eyes. Chubby had a fresh buzzed
haircut, part of last night's window washer boys Saturday night ritual no
doubt. He looked so clean cut and cute with the shorts hairs on his head
still damp from his morning shower and the dimples on either side of his
mischievously grinning mouth making him look like he was twelve years
old. He stared right back at me saying, "I snuck in here thinking I'd catch
you and Robbie blowing each other or something.  Where is he anyway?"  In
an exaggerated nasally voice I said, "He's Catholic, didn't ya know?  Nine
o'clock Mass." Chubby
 made a kissing sound with his lips and said, "You are so cute, did I ever
mention that? You're cuter that Rosemarie Turner who was in my homeroom
last year, I wanted to boink her... maybe I'll boink you instead."  Even
more nasally, I said, "Please do" and we both laughed as I squirmed away
from his grip on my nose. Chubby, wearing only his running shorts, hopped
into the space on my bed vacated by me.  Chubby's bare chest was taut,
hairless, perfectly formed. I stared at his small nipples which appeared to
be erect, my attention thus diverted, Chubby took the opportunity to get me
in a headlock.  The feel of his bare silky smooth skin against the side of
my face, his strong thin arm around my neck, it was so familiar and so sexy
to me I sprung an immediate stiffy.  Inhaling Chubby's boyish smell got my
stiffy harder still.  I pretended to fight back but in reality he could
hold me like this for an hour or more as far as I was concerned... and then
he
 loosened his grip to yell, "eeeewwww!" then grunt out, "I just rolled onto
something wet.  Tell me you peed the bed!  Tell me this wet spot isn't what
I think it is."  I chuckled to myself, thinking, 'Actually, it's not
exactly what you think it is'.

What it was of course, was a glob of Robbie's cum blasted on the sheets by
him during our morning fuck.  I couldn't hold back the laughter for long,
it struck me as so funny.  I laughed out loud and, talking through my
laughter, I took blame for the cum myself, saying, "It was an accident
Chubby, I accidently pulled on my pud till creamy stuff came out and got on
my fingers and some got on my sheets too".  Chubby goes, "You're
disgusting!" and then, oh my God, we were both laughing even harder, from
awkwardness a little bit, but because it was funny too. Chubby wiped his
finger in it and pretended to lick it and my laughter wound-down to a halt
as I realized 'yipes, if he taste that he'll know it's not my cum' so to
prevent that I attacked him and we had a nice wrestling match with Chubby
succeeding in getting me to roll over the cum spot about forty times. It
was a little surprising how much stronger Chubby had gotten in the last six
months; it had to
 be from the window washers job.  As usual, our wrestling match ended up
more like hugging each other then anything else, although Chubby still
maintained the pretense I needed to say "I give" before he'd let me go. I,
of course, love to wrestle with Chubby even when he has me wrapped up
helpless like this... well, especially when he has me wrapped-up helpless
like this is a more accurate way of putting that, but eventually my boner
was getting dangerously close to dripping on his leg so I said "I give up"
and Chubby let me go.  Between Robbie and Chubby it had been a wonderful
start to my day.

Chubby watched me do my morning pee which I'd managed to delay just long
enough for my boner to subside.  While my boner was going down I kept my
back to Chubby pretending to pick out stuff to wear today.  He was in a
very animated mood this morning... as I was peeing, Chubby told me one of
Ricky's jokes.  He said.... "An Irishman was stranded on a desert island
for ten years when all of a sudden a young, gorgeous, blond girl appeared
out of the ocean. The castaway was shocked of course and even more so when
she took a fresh pack of cigarettes from the sleeve of her outfit.  The guy
smoked one and said, "Faith and begorrah, I'd almost forgotten how good a
cigarette can be". The blond then opened a pouch on her other sleeve and
produced a small bottle of Jameson's Irish Whiskey and the castaway takes
some and proclaims "Tis nectar of the Gods. Been ten years since me lips
tasted anything so good."  At this point the gorgeous blond slowly begins
unzipping
 the front of her wet suit asking, "How long since you last played around?"
With tears in his eyes the Irishman falls to the ground and sobbed "Jesus,
Mary and Joseph, Don't tell me ya got a set of golf clubs in there too!"

Chubby was laughing so hard when he said the last line I could hardly make
it out.  I didn't need to hear it though because I was already laughing so
hard it was difficult keeping my pee stream in the toilet... laughing yes,
but not from the joke.  I was laughing because Chubby's delivery of the
castaway's comments where done in a terrible imitation of an Irish brough.
Chubby's Irish brough sounded not a bit Irish, but rather like an Oriental
person who was just learning English, it was so terrible I laughed till I
couldn't catch my breath.  Chubby of course thought I was laughing at the
joke. He was leaning on my shoulder laughing as hard as I was and when he
calmed down enough he goes, "I knew you'd like that joke cause it's about a
gay guy" and I go, "What?  He wasn't gay, Chubby. The "joke" in that joke
is that the Irish guy would rather play a round of golf then get laid or
play "around" with the blond... it's a stereotype joke, not about a gay
 person. Irishmen like to smoke, drink and play golf, you know." Chubby
goes, "You're shitting me" and in a more serious tone I go, "Anyway, why
would you think I care about a gay joke?" Chubby was like, "I'm kidding
you, dude.  For Christ sakes, I'm kidding... and do you mind, kindly stop
playing with yourself... I'm standing right here, ya know".

What he meant by that last comment was for me to stop sliding the uncut
foreskin of my penis on and off the head of my cock.  When I finished
peeing I just started sliding that foreskin back and forth without
realizing I was doing it.  It feels so good to do that and being totally
relaxed around Chubby, I didn't give it a thought really. We're both
uncut... my foreskin wasn't particularly interesting to Chubby, he was just
teasing me, "breaking balls" we call it. That foreskin is a great asset
when jerking off, by the way. Chubby and I have jerked each other off many
times and we both make full use of the other guy's foreskin for maximum
sensation. Having foreskin ourselves, we know how to do it just right... I
mean, obviously we've been jerking ourselves off since earliest puberty so
we certainly should know how best to work it. Don't get me started on
jerk-off talk though.  Oh my God! Jerking-off is one of the great pleasures
that us humans have
 available to us.  And lately, having Chubby jerk me off is even better
then doing it myself, but doing it myself ain't bad either. I quickly
forgot about all that stuff though because I was kinda concerned about my
paranoid reaction to Chubby's "gay guy" comment... I was worried he might
have picked up some signal from that.  In hindsight, I can see he didn't
mean anything serious by his remark.  It's just the way us guys talk to one
another in good "ball breaking" fun, but I mistakenly took it seriously
because... well, because I'm gay. Chubby picked one of my sleeveless T
shirts up off the floor and pulled it over his head as I was stepping into
some jeans, he says, "Ms Oberbite will be here at ten for your two hours
driving training. It went OK with her and me Friday except she thinks I'm
you."  I just nodded my head happily because Chubby hadn't followed-up my
reaction to the gay comment.  He says, "Let's run our four miles when you
get back from
 driving and then we can stop at the high school and watch Robbie put the
Freshman baseball players through some drills."  Again I nodded my head and
Chubby says, "Forget how to talk" and I go, "I think you broke something in
my nose when you were squeezing it and I'm telling your mother. This
bullying shit has got to stop."  We were out in the kitchen by now and
Chubby laughingly whispered in my ear "Bite me" and I whispered back,
"Really, can I?"

This Sunday morning's breakfast was eggs over easy, hash brown potatoes,
thick sliced Oscar Myers bacon, orange juice, toasted Italian bread with
butter, and Dunkin Donuts coffee that I went off to buy.  We hardly bother
to flip a coin to see who goes for the coffee anymore because I always lose
anyway.  When I got back with the coffees everyone was up and the Moms were
happy and bubbly, like always. This morning was one of those times they
were full of compliments for Chubby and me.  Both Moms talk as if Chubby
and me are both their kids, like they both have two sons each. That's only
fair because we always think we have two moms ... no fathers, but two
moms. Chubby's mom, Tris, goes, "You boys are so handsome. I really love
that you're so clean cut too.  I wasn't crazy about either of you getting
an earring at first, but now I think it's making a statement... it's saying
something like "I'm clean cut, but I'm not a total geek" and we all laughed
 because Tris is usually so sincere about everything.  We know the Moms do
not think Chubby and me are geeks, they think we're perfect and they say
that quite often too. As we finished cooking the breakfast Chubby and I
exchanged glances while the Mom took turns complimenting us... they liked
the way we cooked, the way we look, the way we take care of ourselves while
they're working, the way we stay out of trouble, and on and on. We kind of
enjoyed hearing it. While eating breakfast the discussion started out
focusing on our upcoming senior year in high school, then changed to asking
about our jobs, and after that the kind of car Chubby and I should buy, and
other everyday topics that families talk about with their kids.  The Moms
"pried" into our private lives only to the extent they could satisfy
themselves Chubby and me were fine. They wanted to feel confident there
weren't any problems too big for us to handle ourselves.  I thought of my
recent Joel
 problem, and of that little thing about me being actively gay, and of my
dilemma being in love with two boys simultaneously, but spoke about none of
those things to the moms because I could handle them... handle them with
Chubby's, Robbie's or Willie's help, that is.  We were all in a great frame
of mind throughout the entire breakfast. Afterward Chubby had some chores
to do for his Mom, I was going driving with the lovely Ms Oberbite, my Mom
had an afternoon date of some kind with someone other then Jake, and for
dinner tonight the four of us were eating at the restaurant the Moms worked
for, on the house... which means, for free.

Outside after breakfast Chubby and me sat on the steps waiting for Ms
Oberbite, sharing a cigarette.  We agreed that after our four mile run and
our stop at the high school this afternoon, we'd shower and then catch a
movie at the multi-plex before having dinner with the Moms.  Really nice
Sunday, everything was looking good for us. To be honest, most of the time
our lives are good... routine maybe, but still good just the same and I
often take those routine times for granted. I'm making it one of my
projects not to do that.  I want to recognize and appreciate the good
things whenever possible... then, when the bad things show up I'll be
stronger and maybe better able to handle them.  As soon as Chubby spotted
the car with the driver training sign on its roof he said, "Here she comes.
See ya, bro. Good luck".  Then he disappeared up the steps and the inside
the condo.  I watched him go because I like looking at his backside. Then
my attention was
 diverted by hearing the charming Ms Oberbite, "Romero, let's go." Ms
Oberbite wasn't one of the good "routine" things in my life in case you
were wondering. As my driving lesson progressed she thankfully wasn't a
total pain-in-the-ass today even though she constantly got Chubby's and my
name mixed-up.  I corrected her initially by quietly saying, "It's Dylan
Newman, Ms Oberbite" and she responded with, "What?" and then turned her
attention to directing me to turn here, turn there etc etc..  I drove all
over the place for two solid hours, mostly in silence, and mostly driving
too slow for it to be any fun.  Just something that had to be done in order
to achieve my goal of a drivers license. Back at the curb in front of the
condo afterward she mumbled, "OK Romero, you're doing better then Newman so
pat yourself on the back.  Call the office to set-up your next
appointment."  I was opening the door saying, "I'm Newman, Dylan Newman."
She slid her fat ass
 over to the drivers side saying, "I'll get the door Romero, step back".
So I did.  She drove off without looking both ways, but I probably won't
mention that to her next time I see her.

Feeling good, happy that my driving lesson was over, I ran up both pairs of
steps to Chubby's condo and let myself in.  Tris was talking on her cell
phone laughing with someone, probably a guy... she waved at me and blew me
a kiss while pointing to Chubby's room. He was surfing on the computer when
I walked in and said to him, "Oh damn! I was hoping to catch you jerking
off". Chubby goes, "Huh? What?" I say, "Oh nothing, you still wanta take
that run?".  He did. I went down to put on running shorts and we headed off
to the trail for our four mile run... the same running trail we use to do
five or six times a week, but that was before we got our jobs.  The jobs
had changed so much in our lives. You know how it goes... change just one
thing in your life and it's like a domino effect or a chain reaction, many
other things in your life must now change too. That's what happened to us.

Running with Chubby is always fun for me... maybe it's not even the running
per se, but more just the simple fact that we're doing "something"
together, anything really... that's where the fun comes in, being with him.
I'll run next to him sometimes so I can rub arms with him as we go, or I'll
run just behind him so I can look at his body as he's running.  Watching
his ass mostly... his buttocks jumping, one then the other with each
stride... what a hot ass that boy has. I love the way Chubby runs too, he
looks so "right" when he runs... he runs the way a boy should run, not a
track star, not a woman, not an adult... a boy.  I run like Chubby runs;
it's how you hold your head, what you do with your arms and, oh... just a
lot of stuff. Running behind him I'm thinking "It's so cool just knowing
Chubby, knowing him all my life too, and being best friends every day of
that life.  So, so, cool!"

We have our running shorts on today.  Running shorts are actually just
nylon short-shorts... the bottom of the legs reaching just below our balls.
We always wear either a jockstrap or jockey underwear with the running
shorts and today I was wearing jockey shorts I wore way back when I was ten
years old.  They're much too small for me now of course and because of that
they keep my nuts from bouncing around... and they feel good squeezing my
package together as I run too.  I don't know what Chubby is wearing under
his running shorts, but whatever it is I'd like to stop right this second
and switch with him.  He'd wear my too small jockey underwear and I'd wear
whatever he has on... maybe it would be a damp jockstrap, or maybe his old
jockey underwear with a landing strip at the bottom like Dodger's underwear
always has. Oh God, I'm getting a boner. Fortunately I was running behind
Chubby so he didn't see my stiffy growing... running while happily
 fantasized about switching underwear with him is fun.

Ya know, I'm five foot-ten-inches tall and Chubby is five-foot-seven inches
tall; only three inches difference, but it seemed like more when we had on
the short-shorts.  Walking together this morning on our way over to this
running trail Chubby's legs looked long which is a little bit odd,
especially considering his short stature.  My legs looked much longer then
even Chubby's although there's only that three inches of difference in our
height.  Optical illusion perhaps. Of course, these little running shorts
make our thin legs look longer then they are anyway. We have thin legs that
are still being shaved too. Thin legs, but there is nice definition in the
calf.  We should have some nice definition, afterall we've been running
almost every day for years, until recently. Other then the running shorts,
we both had on sleeveless T shirts that only reached down to our belly
button, both of the T-shirts belonged to me, and running sneakers with
ankle sweat
 socks.  In our skimpy outfits with our shaved, long, thin, strong-looking
legs I thought we both looked way "HOT"... you know, if another gay boy was
to see us.

Speaking of other gay boys, when we got to the beginning of the running
trail there were a half dozen people loosening up before starting their
run.  Two of them were African Americans who were talking animatedly about
something while they did some limbering exercises. I caught one of them
looking at Chubby and me as we approached, when our eyes met he looked away
and said something to his friend.  Both those boys were really something to
look at. I stopped near them to do a few muscle loosening drills and Chubby
stopped next to me.  He was telling me how the window washer boys had
gotten in trouble at the Mall last night, but I was only half listening.  I
was staring back, hopefully inauspiciously, at the black boys who were
about our age. Both were my height and both had slim, taut bodies.  The boy
closest to me had been the one looking at us, he had the most beautiful
light brown skin with distinct although under-sized African facial
features.  His
 hair was brown, not black... it was longish, pulled back into double
ponytails at the back, one on either side of his head.  The hairs on the
outside of the elastic were only about two inches long, kinky but very soft
looking. I can't say I've ever seen a boy wearing two ponytails like that
before, but it looked cool on him.  His face struck me as being extremely
handsome which I've always felt is unusual for a boy as young as he
looked... usually, "handsome" looks comes about after one's teenage cute
years.  The other kid had very black skin tone, but his facial features
were totally European, totally European with pale green eyes.  Maybe the
most striking face I've ever seen on anyone. In addition to the one boy
gawking at Chubby and me as we approached, something else about the two
made me think they could be gay. My gaydar was pathetically untested, but I
did get some vibes that , ya know... they were maybe gay.  I couldn't stop
staring, neither of
 then ever gave another glance our way so my staring was
undetected. Making-out, kissing and licking and such, with them was my
dominant fantasy as I stared, and then... just like that, they glided on
their way down the trail, their feet seemingly barely touching the
ground... so graceful. I'll bet they're track stars at some High
School... they were very hot boys, but soon out of sight.  I sighed and
Chubby goes, "Yeah, I agree, it was a bitch but it turned out OK.  You
ready to go?"  I nodded and off we went.  My 'sigh' was misinterpreted as
me commiserating with whatever Chubby had been talking about, which is fine
with me... I'm sure I'd have agree with him anyway. With the beautiful
black kids gone, I began concentrating on Chubby again, even as we picked
up our speed.

We ran without talking now because we're not in the running shape we use to
be in and we needed all our breath.  The pace was slower too, but I enjoyed
the view I had right in front of me.  Chubby would turn his head every so
often to look back and check-up on me as we ran... my heart went
pitter-patter when he did that because I love that boy so much.  Running
behind him, I had thoughts there for a while only of Chubby, but when we
got near the rest-area those thoughts were cut-off and somehow
automatically switched over to thoughts of the Marine who I hadn't seen in
weeks. I thought way back to the early times this summer when I was
impressed by Tom what's-his-name... I forget his last name now. I thought
about how my balls sizzled and buzzed back then when he bossed me around
telling me where and how to stand.  That was during the time Carl was
dominating me too.  And then Carl and Larry dominated me, and then Willie
too.  Back then I was "seeing"
 things so much differently.  It's been just three or four months, but
since then I've learned so much about being gay, and about gay sex, and how
it's mostly good, but how some gays occasionally take advantage of other
gays.  It's obvious to me now that I like being submissive in some sexual
situations, but only with the right partner... or is it more accurate to
say that I like to be dominated in some sexual situations... or are they
the same thing?  I'm not sure, yet.  But at the end of all those
experiences I found Willie and Willie found me.  In many ways the two of us
have grown-up together in our gay relationship.  Like me, Willie never had
a boyfriend before. Against the odds we fell in love too.

And then I guess, thanks to Willie, I learned sexual pleasures, both given
and taken, and was therefore prepared to NOT let Robbie down in that regard
when he trusted me and "came-out" to me recently. The progression of life
is fascinating as well as unpredictable. Robbie and I have not so much
"grown-up" together as we've developed serious crushes on each other.
Maybe the crushes will, or have already, become love... I keep changing my
opinion about that.  At the moment I think it is love. We think we're in
love, Willie and me... and Robbie and me too.  It sure feels like
love... Willie and Robbie say it's love, and they both say they love me,
and when I'm with either of them I think I love them too. So, lots of sex
and lots of love. How bad can that be?!  But still my dilemma of how to
love two at once and be true to both is like a six hundred pound gorilla
hanging over me night and day. How can a person love another person and
constantly cheat on
 them, which is what I'm doing to both Willie and Robbie. That simply can't
be a good thing.

Chubby and I took a break at the two-mile rest stop.  No Marine, but
another pair of runners were there before us, two girls about our age who I
paid no attention to what-so-ever, but who kept looking over at us and
talking low behind their hands.  Chubby finally heard the mumbling and
looked over at them with his killer smile. One of the girls blushed as they
both immediately looked away.... giggling annoyingly, the girls left
shortly after that. Chub and me are a bit out of shape and needed to hang
out in the rest area longer.  I was sitting on the same bench I sat on when
I deep-throating the Marine months ago.  My first deep throated, and what a
cock that guy has.  Jeez... when his huge cock went in my throat I thought
my life was over for a second there, but yet... it's actually sexy/hot to
now think about that time with Tom.  It was so quiet in the rest area today
it was a little spooky and that spooky feeling interrupted my daydreams.  I
looked
 over at Chubby leaning up against a fence, the sun shown through the trees
and hit his upturned face. Chubby had his eyes lightly closed and his face
looked relaxed and very young. His face doesn't have the classic beautiful
features the Dickers brothers have, but he is one cute kid just the same
and I've always loved looking at him.  What a uniquely cute face.  Looking
at Chubby and a million different thoughts might pass through my head,
every one a memory of something Chubby and I had done together. My heart
felt swollen and heavy because I loved him so. I've always wanted to do
something really, really special for him or with him, but so far he's done
more for me than I've done for him.  It was a melancholy feeling I had this
afternoon resting there with Chubby and I wasn't at all sure why that
was. We haven't been doing enough stuff together lately, that's obvious,
but our jobs intrude. He opened his eyes then and saw me staring at him,
but
 catching me staring at him wasn't anything new to him, he's used to it.
Quietly saying, "You ready Dylan?"  I nodded and grinned at him and he
goes, "Don't go South on me dude, you mean too much to me."  I abruptly
asked, "What's that suppose to mean?" and he says, "You just looked even
more spacey then usual, that's all I'm saying. Fuck, you've been getting
very defensive about everything I say lately".  I made an incredulous
facial expression and then came out with a pretend pompous and indignant
reply, "And, what the fuck does that mean?" We chuckled at each other as he
squeezed the back of my neck saying, "I love ya, bro!" and off we go to
finish our run.

It was invigorating as hell running that four mile trail and we both told
each other how much we miss doing that on a regular basis. Our next stop
was at the high school, conveniently on our way home. We wanted to watch a
little bit of the baseball team's summer baseball camp activities which
Robbie and the other two co-captains were in charge of.  The co-captains do
this every year and Robbie seemed excited about participating.  Chubby and
me showed up about halfway through the day's workout and I spotted Robbie
right away.  He had on gym shorts and the school's baseball cap and T
shirt.  A whistle hung on a chain around his neck and he was holding a
clipboard making notations as the Junior Varsity team ran through their
drills.  I chuckled to myself imagining Robbie chastising a player for some
misplayed ball or something. Robbie was simply too sweet a guy to be hard
on his teammates.  Just then, from the other side of the field I heard
Robbie scream,
 "Murray, get the fuck off the field if you're not going to pay
attention... Dupree, get your ass moving on those bases."  I looked at
Chubby who was looking at me with an expression on his face that implied,
"that can't be our Robbie?"  As we got closer to the stands we saw kids we
knew from school milling around, half watching the practice and half just
goofing off.  Lots of girls were there ogling the boys and three of the
girls at the top of the bleachers scream, "Jeff, Jeff up here. Barbara
Stillman has a crush on you, Jeffrey" then that stupid girl giggling that's
so annoying followed their screaming. Chubby looks up and says out of the
corner of his mouth to me, "That bitch has been trying to get in my pants
since sixth grade. The screechy voice might be a deal breaker though.
Christ! I guess I'll need to go up there and give them a thrill... see the
tits on Foster?  Holy shit! they grew over the summer.  Later, Dylan" and
he started climbing the
 bleachers trying to look cool doing it which ain't easy, ya gotta watch
your step on bleachers.

My interest has never been the girls. I realized that six months ago and at
the time I was like, duh!  I'm just figuring that out now??  My moment of
truth happened while walking home one of those late afternoons from Carl's
in April or May.  Carl had fucked me two or three times that day before
sending me home and walking along I'd had that realization that I've never
thought of girls in a sexual way. I thought of boys in a sexual way.  This
was one of those days Carl had really worked me over, fucking me wildly,
and I was walking oddly. I had to pass by some girls who stared at me and
mumbled among themselves... then they did their girly giggle. It was then I
realized I'd much rather be fucked by Carl then so much as kiss a
girl. Hell, I surely didn't want to do anything sexual with a girl and I
wasn't exactly crazy about most of them in ways other then sexual either.
I bit my lip thinking back once more to those times Carl was fucking me on
a regular
 basis. It's hard for me to think real bad thoughts about Carl because he
did me such a big favor showing me my gayness... and because he fucked me
awfully good too.  Damn,it was so new back then... the thrill of being
fucked! Oh no, I'm getting a woody.  I sat down on the bottom bleacher
bench and watched the boys on the baseball team.  After a short while I'd
verified one of my premises about boys... there aren't a lot of really cute
ones. Most aren't even close to cute, although I can usually find something
cute about every one of them... it's just that overall they're not good
looking. Then there's Robbie!  Robbie, looks like a movie star who stopped
in to film a scene for a movie.

My hard-on started subsiding so I moved closer to where Robbie was
instructing Freshman candidates for the team.  I started paying more
attention the closer I got because, after yelling at a couple of kids
earlier, Robbie now had the rest of the kids under control.  They were
hanging on his every word.  I watched in fascination as he ordered two of
the boys to fetch some equipment from the gym, sent another boy to get a
bottle of ice water for him, a third to deliver the clipboard to another
co-captain, and ordered six other kids to run laps for doing the base
running drill incorrectly. "Get moving guys! Get your asses in fucking
gear...."  It gave me a sizzle in my balls imagining Robbie ordering me to
"get on all fours, now! Get that pussy up in the air!...." or something
like that.  Holy cow! Robbie was a tough co-captain it seems.  Another
group was headed his way as his original group moved on to the next
co-captain's training station.  Robbie took
 immediate charge of this group too, "OK guys, I don't want any fucking
around because I'm not in the mood for it... Got that?  Do ya?"  and the
group yelled out "Yes, Captain Rob!"

It was astonishing to see this version of Robbie in action.  I was use to
the shy Robbie waiting to do my bidding.  What gives with that? So this is
the "Rob", not "Robbie", known to most of the kids and teachers in school.
He's the Rob that got elected by the seniors to be co-captain this year.
I'd wondered about a shy kid getting elected co-captain of anything, never
mind a sports team, and now I get to see how it happened.  Robbie isn't shy
about anything involving the baseball team. Well then, is this the real
Robbie?... or is the one I know the real one?  Once again, it's probably a
little of each and maybe Robbie himself isn't even sure what percentage of
each applies.  It gives me an extra sharp buzz in my nuts to know this
"Rob", the one I'm watching here, when he's with me will do just about
anything I tell him to... isn't that the weirdest thing!  I felt a goose
from behind and go, "Hey...!" I was almost positive I knew who the goose-ee
was
 too. Turning around fast and there, just as I thought, was the buzzed head
and smart-assed smiling face of Rob's brother Dodger. Under his breath he
says, "I've got a couple of minutes... come on over behind the food-stand
Dylan and I'll "do you" real quick up against that cinderblock wall that's
hidden from view. Ya got any lube with ya?" I had to laugh at how
outrageous he is.  I go, "You little pervert, how'd your beer party go last
night?" Dodger leaned his body into me momentarily and said, "you're so
cool, Dylan".  He has a crush on me too.  I better watch I don't get a
swollen head, both Dickers brothers! Wow!

We talked about Dodger's beer party for awhile until a younger kid came
near us and sort of hung out patiently, without a word. Dodger finally
looked over at him and in an irritated manner said, "I'll be right with,
Vinnie. No, on second thought, get your ass over here".  The kid was maybe
fourteen, not particularly cute, with some pimples on his forehead.  He had
course dark hair the same length all over his head, obviously a growing-in
summer buzz cut.  The outstanding features of this kid were his full lips
and his killer bubble-butt ass which was perfectly outlined by the flimsy
nylon basketball shorts he was wearing.  I should say he also has a nice
"boy's" body too, so all and all... not bad at all.  He had to be Dodger's
young gay sex buddy, Vinnie De Marco, who Dodger had spoken of yesterday
afternoon as I was cutting his hair. Vinnie hurried over in between Dodger
and me and Dodger immediately slipped his hand down the back of Vinnie's
nylon
 basketball shorts and did something that made the kid arch his back and go
up on his toes, his face turning bright red.  Vinnie muttered,
"No... please Dodger, don't.  Not in front of....." Dodger pulled his hand
out and held his index finger under Vinnie's nose causing him to make a
face and turn his head away.  "Wait for me over by the bike rake Vinnie,
don't stand there staring at my bud Dylan and me like a fool". Vinnie
sulked, but walked toward the bike racks about a hundred yards away. I
looked at Dodger and go, "It ain't cool at all being a bully,
Dodger. Nobody likes a bully."  Dodger looked hurt and mumbled, "I was just
trying to show off for you.  Me and Vinnie are tight.  He's a little kid,
but I don't bully him, really."  I gave Dodger a disapproving stare and
said, "you better not pick on that kid, you'll feel bad later on if you do.
He obviously looks up to you."  Dodger appeared appropriately chagrined so
we changed the subject.  We
 talked more about his beer party last night which remarkably hadn't led to
any arrest, but the house had taken a severe beating.  Later Chubby came
down from atop the bleachers and had a short goosing match with Dodger who
took off to meet up with Vinnie shortly after that. Chubby and I were
leaving without Robbie even noticing that we'd been here... we didn't want
to interrupt his coaching duties. I got to see a side of Robbie I'd never
seen before, a side of him quite different from the one I know, but there
it was right in front of my eyes.  Wicked surprising... and interesting
too, but what to make of it?  Like most things, for me it was a mystery.


Back at the condos Chubby goes, "Let's check on the Red Sox game." We had
almost two hours to kill before the movie starts so down to my finished
basement we go, stopping in the kitchen as we went to grab a quart of
gatorade each. We were sweating some and we both needed showers before
going to the movie but I was happy for this time alone with Chubby, sweaty
or not... almost like the old days.  We were soon on the recliner, our
running shoes on the floor, gulping our gatorades. All was well except he
Red Sox were trailing ten to one in the sixth inning.  "Fuck! This game
blows!"  Chubby proclaims.  Then he says, "Hey, I got an idea, Dylan... you
want a foot massage? It's been a while dude, your feet are probably in
terrible shape." It's been so long since Chubby suggested this foot fetish
of his I was taken by surprise and said, "Hey, yeah, it has been a
while... who's feet have you been taking care of instead of mine?" and to
my shock Chubby answered
 straight-forward, "Ricky likes me to massage his feet... oh, maybe three
or four times a week".  Just like that, he came right out with it.  The
thing is, obviously Chubby's foot fetish is sexually connected... these
past few years he's gotten relief from his urges by playing with my feet,
but just now Chubby admitted he's doing something that qualifies as
sexually gay with Ricky-the-prick!  He's relieving his foot fetish on
Ricky's feet and, OK... so I gotta wonder, what else is going on between
them.

Feeling the jealousy rising in me again, I thought back to the first time I
met Ricky when he and Chubby ended up giving each other buzz cuts in my
basement. I was so jealous back then I flipped-out and we exchanged some
very harsh words. Chubby was able to mediate the situation avoiding a fist
fight.  Probably a good thing for me because Ricky is one tough bastard.
Returning to the present and trying to act nonchalant, I say, "Sure Chubby,
I like when you massaged my feet, feel free to massage away". What I did
not add was that I didn't feel real comfortable when he licked, smelled,
sucked or kissed my feet.  I didn't say that, but I did ask.  "Ah, does
Ricky massage your feet for you too?"  Chubby was startled, he says "Are
you kidding?  Ricky won't even touch my feet... he kicks at my sneaker like
it's a turd.  No, he doesn't massage my feet at all. Nobody does, dude."  I
go, "Well, hell... I'll massage your feet for ya, Chubby, I didn't know you
 wanted them massaged or I'd have done it before. Your feet don't scare
me... I don't think their gross like Ricky does.  Or, you know... like he
must think they are or else why would he kick your sneaker like it was a
piece of dog shit?" Chubby looked at me with this real puzzled expression
and mumbles, "Where did this come from, bro?  Sure, massage my feet".

He took off one of his socks then and held it to my nose, "Does this smell
bother you or anything?" he asked with the sock material actually pressed
in my nostril a little ways. Showing that I didn't take offense, that I was
taking it as a joke... I coughed, made a face pretending his sock smelled
like a rotten egg and said, "Of course not, why would you ask that?".  We
blurted out a partial laugh which lightened the mood some.  Chubby hopped
around on the recliner so his feet were now at the head of the recliner,
his head at the bottom, and said, "Start massaging".  Taking hold of his
bare foot tentatively, holding it by the heel and ankle, I leaned down
slightly to smell it.  It smelled like a foot should smell if that foot has
been in sneakers and sweat socks all day, but it wasn't such a bad smell
that I felt like hurling or anything. There was definitely a foot smell
though, make no mistake about that.  It was damp too, not what you'd call
sweaty,
 just sticky damp... actually, the first thing that struck me was how
perfectly formed his toes are.  My toes are all weird, especially the
middle toe on each foot, but Chubby's were perfectly fine toes with neatly
trimmed clean toenails and no toe gunk between the toes or under the big
toe's toenail like I sometimes have.  Chubby had a small, narrow foot
prompting me to ask, "What the hell size shoe do you wear Chub?"  He goes,
"Seven, narrow... when I can find it.  Not like your giant shoe... size
nines, whoa... bigfoot". Thinking, "Hmmm.. how'd he know what my shoe size
was?" but I didn't ask about it, just began massaging his damp foot as best
I could.

After a bit Chubby was biting his lower lip mumbling,"Go ahead and lick it
Dylan, would you?  I lick yours."  My eyes glanced down to Chubby at the
foot of the recliner... is he serious? The look he gave me back I
interpreted as a look of pleading, I'm his best friend so I lifted his foot
and licked the instep... it didn't taste like anything but the smell was
certainly stronger". Chubby moaned because his fetish was taking hold of
him, I guess.  What the hell, I'll give him a treat... I licked his foot
all the way from his heel to the back of his toes and then did what he does
to my toes, licked behind them and then sucked on the big toe.  I almost
blurted out another laugh thinking that his big toe was approximately the
same size as the head of his cock, and I'd really like to suck that.
Taking his toe out of my mouth I pressed my nose against the pad under his
toes near the middle of his foot and Chubby sighed and then closed his toes
on my nose,
 like his toes were fingers. He held on to my nose gently moving his foot
slightly back and forth increasing the foot smell with each move until all
I could smell in my world was that stinky foot.  I inhaled through my mouth
but a lot of air was still drawn in through my nose and his foot smell was
everywhere.  Chubby was breathing in spurts and blowing a faint mist of
saliva out with each spurt obviously aroused by his aggressive attack on my
nose.  I didn't want to insult him by acting like I was disgusted by his
actions, so I was stuck with breathing in his foot odor for maybe another
thirty second... thirty seconds which seemed much longer.

Finally we reached a point where it was getting too awkward even for Chubby
so he reluctantly uncurled his toes and slid his foot down from my nose
pulling my bottom lip inside out, it remained down like that as his foot
and toes were dragged over it.  Chubby took in a huge breath followed by a
gasp as he pulled his foot away and let it slide down my chest, my stomach,
and finally lay in my short-short clad lap with it's heel directly on my
cock.  Neither of us said anything as my cock started getting stiff under
the weight of Chubby's foot... we looked at each other with wide eyes and
flushed faces as my boner grew.  After maybe two minutes of silence, Chubby
took his foot away and quietly mumbled, "Thanks Dylan. You're awesome to do
that for me, but thats about all the stimulation I think I can handle right
now without... you know, an accident."  I nodded my head at him, still
unable to think of something to say that might lighten the atmosphere a
 tad. Chubby stared at me as if waiting for me to say my "piece" about this
whole deal, and when he realized I couldn't come up with anything, he
asked, "Do you know what a fetish is?"  I answered his question with, "Of
course I do Chubby, I'm not retarded" but he went on to explain what a
fetish is anyway. He doesn't think I'm retarded, but he apparently thinks
I'm really naive about such matters.  After providing a general description
of a fetish, while I maintained a disgruntled look, he began to
specifically describe his own particular form of foot fetish.  The longer
he talked the more the whole thing was getting to be just a bit
silly... you know, me getting lectured by Chubby about this rather bizarre
topic... so, soon my disgruntled look was replaced with one of bemusement
and I was fighting the urge to laugh.  Chubby was feeling more confident
and comfortable with his topic now that he saw I wasn't about to start
freaking out on him and he
 began to loosen-up too and began describing the details of his foot fetish
in a comical manner. As he was doing that he picked up one of my feet and
began playing with it and even stopped talking long enough to lean down and
inhale my foot odor in one huge intake of air.  His eyelids fluttered and
he grunted, then did another long inhale and finally said, "Your feet smell
just like Ricky's" that made him laugh so I'm not sure if he was serious.
As I've said before, it feels good to have my feet massaged but the
smelling didn't do a thing for me, especially when I'm told my feet smell
just like that prick Ricky's feet smell!

Finally I managed to tell Chubby, "Thank you, Chubby but I've heard just
the perfect amount about foot fetish for today so you don't need to tell me
more at this exact moment".  We chuckled together and what followed was a
normal foot fetish exercise conducted by Chubby on both my feet.  They
ending up throughly smelled, licked, sucked and caressed.  Actually, this
wasn't a normal foot fetish exercise by Chubby now that I think about
it... he did all the same kinds of things he's done before, but never
before did he do them all at one sitting. I usually get slightly aroused
during his fondling of my feet, but not because I have even a little bit of
the foot fetish... I get slightly aroused partially because it's Chubby
who's doing it, and partially because of how aroused he gets.  After
handling my feet for fifteen minutes or so Chubby can barely grunt out,
"I'm gonna take my shower now, Dylan... see ya in a bit."  His hand was
covering his crotch but I
 could see his four inch spike poking the front of his shorts out just the
same. Thinking about his boner really did get me aroused and I jerked
myself off in my basement half-bath a couple minutes after he left.  I
tried to shoot my cum as high up on the mirror as Robbie had shot his when
I fucked him in here last night. I didn't come close to getting it as high
on the mirror as Robbie... wow, he really fired off a hot load that time.

After jerking-off I sat on the toilet seat catching my breath and thinking
about all Chubby's talk about his foot fetish and wondering if I'd just
passed-up a good opportunity to tell Chubby I'm gay.  My conclusion was
that it hadn't actually been a good time for that true confession because
Chubby would somehow assume I was saying I'm gay because he had the foot
fetish discussion and, many times, a foot fetish is associated with gays
and blah, blah, blah...  No, it would have been a mess of conflicting
topics to drop in, "Oh, by the way, I'm gay".  And anyway, I got the
dilemma to worry about first. As I was walking upstairs thinking about my
dilemma, like magic, my cell phone rings and it was Willie calling from
Maine.  He sounded tired but assured me he wasn't tired so much as
bored. Carl and Larry bored him, he said.  In a lackluster manner Willie
says, "Larry tried that spanking nonsense on me as soon as I got there.
You know because I have an
 unauthorized haircut.  He ordered me to get my pants down and bend over
and all that. Dylan, when he said that stuff it sounded so stupid!  It
never use to, but now it does... really dumb.  I tried to go along, but
halfway through I started yelling at him and we almost got in a fist fight.
That was the end of the spanking".  Wow, I thought, this is sounding mighty
good to me, but something tells me it wouldn't be a good thing for me to
pile on by telling Willie "I told ya so".  Not right now, so I just said a
non-committal, "Oh, dude!".  We talked for fifteen minutes and the long and
the short of it all was... Willie was having a shitty time so he was coming
home early.  It didn't even feel to Willie that Carl and Larry were his
friends. Willie would be home in time for our regular Tuesday night date.
He said, "Carl and Larry plowed my pussy a couple of times and it felt
good, but not as good as when you do it, Dylan. They didn't try anymore
 spanking after they saw I was ready to fight, nothing we did was really
fun anymore. Everything those two want to do, sex-wise, seems childish to
me now and there isn't any doubt I'm on the outside of Larry and Carl's
little clique. Guess maybe I always have been on the outside and I'm just
now realizing it.  Anyway, I'll need a new roommate because Larry kicked me
out of his.  Funny thing, I'm happy about it.".

It was a super-positive conversation from my perspective and Willie didn't
seem too disappointed or upset about it either.  He went into how much he
missed and loved me and then he talked dirty to me for awhile.  I'd just
jerked-off before his call but before long I had another hard-on from
listening to his voice and to the things he was saying... he turns me on
something wild.  God, I love that boy, but even so I know I'm going to have
to confess to him about cheating on him and I know he'll wind-up dumping
me. I just know he will, it's the way things go for me. Damn it all!
Willie went on to another topic, it was hard to keep up with him.  Now he
was excited about a new David Archuleta Youtube performance of, "Crush".
Willie has so much energy that I can literally feel it through his voice.
He said he thinks of me when he listens to the words of that "Crush"
song. He said it's like the crush he had on me from the first second he saw
me going all
 the way back to Carl's graduation party. I hadn't heard the song yet, but
I like David Archuleta.  Mostly I like him because he's uniquely cute, but
he can sing pretty good too.  I went right to my computer after Willie and
I exchanged a few "I love you" comments and said our goodbyes.  Great
conversation with Willie, but I was still determined to confess my
two-timing ways and clear my conscience. I'm doing it on our Tuesday night
date and I'm prepared to face the consequences.  I need to do it before it
gets any worse, and I will do it too, but I'll worry about it on
Tuesday... for now I'll put it in the back of my mind.

I clicked on Youtube, and it's so cool... David Archuleta was there and the
song is real good too, but it made me think of Robbie, not Willie. Robbie
and I started out with big crushes on each other. Young love just might be
one big crush afterall... I'm not sure, but looking at the video I'm
thinking, 'damn, that David is an innocent looking kid'.  He's Chubby and
my age, nice singing talent, but mostly his lips are the sexiest thing
ever.  Wonder if he could be gay.  I watched the Youtube rendition of
David's "Crush" song twice, then took a shower and got dressed for the
movies. Chubby was smoking a cigarette on the front steps when I went out.
First thing he says when I came out was, "Dylan, I don't know if you fully
understand the significance of things like... well, like fetishes for
example".  I go, "Huh?" We walked toward the bus stop passing his smoke
back as forth as Chubby went into one of his world-class
rationalizations... this one was meant
 to cover-up what he must have perceived as him going too far with the foot
fetish this afternoon.  I just listened, letting him go on and on because
I'm familiar with the drill. Chubby says, "Of course you don't know about
this stuff, but many people are confused about the sexual nature of some
fetishes such as... well, such as cross-dressing.  Many cross-dressing men
are totally heterosexual, they just like to wear woman's clothes.  I have
no idea why that is, but they do and many of them are married and I guess
they wear their wives' clothes, if they're the same size, that is.  Do yo
know about leather fetishes? Well, ....."  On and on he went... I know very
well that Chubby is covering his fetish with layer upon layer of unrelated
topics until we won't be able to recall what even started this rant.  He
went about it so effortlessly, so smoothly, it made me wonder if Chubby
isn't destined for politics.  Politicians are the only other people I know
 that can bullshit like Chubby can, making it seamless while all the time
talking gibberish, pointless nonsense.  Maybe a politician doing that is
annoying to me, but not when Chubby does it.  I need to be careful not to
laugh of course because he takes it all quite seriously, so to keep from
the blurted-out laugh I make sure not to listen real carefully to the
words.  To be honest, I have my own rationalization about Chubby's
rationalizing and it's this...  our relationship means so much to Chubby he
goes to this weird extreme explaining away something about himself, or us,
that he feels I may not approve of or that will be awkward between
us. Finally though, I did chuckle because this was a really long stream of
disconnected logic coming from Chubby, one of his best.  I tried to turn
the chuckle into a sneeze but Chubby knows my tricks.  He stopped talking,
flicked our cigarette butt across the street into a water grate in the
gutter over there,
 stared at me for a few seconds, and says, "Well, you know what I'm saying'
and I go, "Oh, yeah... of course, Chub.  You're right too.  About the cross
dresser needing to be the same size as his wife and all..."  Chubby looked
at me again and did his own chuckle, then mumbled, "You are such a dick
sometimes, Dylan... Jeez!"

Chubby apparently felt he'd covered himself sufficiently by now,
fetish-wise, for the moment at least.  I say that because he was in a real
good mood again making fun of various unsuspecting victims during the bus
ride to the movie multi-plex.  We saw "Nick and Norah's Infinite
Playlist"... the movie did have a good playlist.  The lead guy is funny in
an understated way, but the girl characters in the movie were annoying at
times, one in particular who chewed a piece of gum from out of a disgusting
toilet.  The surprising and unexpected aspect of the movie was that there
were three openly gay guys featured throughout the entire film.  The lead
guy, Nick, was in a band with the three gays, Nick was straight.  It was
cool seeing the casual way their relationship was handled.  It was "lite"
entertainment, but I recommend it.  Interesting that the gay topic Chubby
and I had been obliquely referred to during his fetish lectures should
show-up in the movie we
 had choosen at random.  I really felt encouraged that an openly gay guy
and a straight guy could still be great friends... hope for me and Chubby
in the long term picture maybe.  Sometime I'll need to tell Chubby I'm gay,
but first I'll take my medicine for being a two timing cheat.  You don't
suppose I'll lose both my boyfriends, Willie and Robbie... do ya?

During the bus ride home a lady and her husband had an argument over the
husband's generalized assertion that "all generalizations are false". They
argued back and forth whether it was a fact or not. They shared the seat
directly in front of Chubby and me... as they argued, we made childish
noises mocking them. We had dark red faces by the time we got off the bus
from trying not to laugh out loud at their loud discussion... what idiots!
Then off the bus we did laugh out loud at a bumper sticker that read "Few
women admit their age.  Fewer men act it!"  Chubby says, "Wonder if that
applies to seventeen year old boys too?"  Things that weren't actually
funny seemed hilariously funny when I'm with Chubby.  On the walk from the
bus stop I kept purposely bumping into his side, just to get quick feels of
him... at the bottom of the steps Chubby pretended to be annoyed with me
for all that bumping and got me in one of our ubiquitous headlocks.  I
acted docile
 and he pressed the side of his face against the side of my head with me
holding him around his stomach.  I know he wanted to be affectionate for a
moment, I can read his mind.  After a bit he said, "Give up?" and I go,
"No!".  He let go anyway and we hustled up the steps.  Chubby mumbles, "See
ya in a few minutes, we're pretty much on time for our dinner with our
Moms.  They'll be so proud....".  He laughed at that absurd comment and I
pinched his ass saying, "See ya" ... we went in our condos to let our Moms
know we were home.

Of course the Moms weren't ready to go so Chubby and I waited for them on
the front steps smoking our second cigarette of the day... or was it our
third?  In a little while we got into the Volvo station wagon and Chubby
drove us to the restaurant with the Moms acting tense the whole way.  They
don't trust our driving yet, but they will soon enough.  I'll be driving
home.  The Moms work at this restaurant so of course they knew the waitress
who took our drink orders.  Her name was Cid; she brought the Moms
something called "straight up Manhattans" and at the same time she brought
Chubby and me something called Shirley Temples which had the Moms in
stitches laughing at our faces when Cid set them down and said, "OK
fellows, here's your Shirley Temple".  Chubby was like, "What the f--..."
and Tris goes, "Jeffrey! Watch your mouth".  Hey, that drink was good and
later when the Moms got another drink I ordered a second Shirley Temple
too... it was a wicked
 sweet drink. Chubby pouted and ordered a cranberry juice for his second
drink, which was bitter. He got back in a good mood though and the dinner
was a success. The food wasn't as good as Ken's Steak House, but it was
pretty good just the same.  We had some laughs with the waitress, Cid, who
was a part time school teacher too. She was telling us things her young
second and third grade kids said.  The two stories I remember are: Cid
asked her second grader, Glenn, how he spells 'crocodile' and he goes 'K R
O K O D I A L'.  She said, "no, that's wrong" and Glenn says, "it might be
wrong, but you asked me how I spelled it"!  The other one was this....  Cid
asked her third grader, Maria, to go to the world map and find North
America.  Maria goes up and points at it and Cid, the teacher, says "that's
correct".  "OK now class.  Altogether now, who discovered America?" and
they said in unison "Maria".  There were others I've forgotten and they
probably
 seemed funnier then they actually were too, but with Chubby doing his
contagious laugh, plus Cid told the stories in a funny way too, so we had
some big laughs from her stories.  I drove us home super fine after
dinner... it was a good time out with the Moms and that's something we
should try to do more often.

It was getting late so both Chubby and I went to bed shortly after getting
home... work tomorrow.  I lay in bed feeling good that I was part of our
joint families.  Later it was the same old thing... me trying to think how
I was going to tell Willie about my cheating.  He doesn't deserve that from
me, cheating on him... he deserves a lot better after all the things he's
done for me, all the places he's taken me and the presents he's bought me
and all that... jeez, I feel like crap.  I gotta tell him though ... my
conscience is killing me.  Then I thought about Robbie and knew I'd need to
tell him about my cheating too... mostly about the extent of my sexual
activities with Willie, but I won't do that until Wednesday at the Dickers
barbecue and pool party.  At that time I was of the opinion there isn't
enough time on work days to do the confession justice, plus I needed to put
that off for a few more days and concentrate more on my Willie confession
 anyway. Thinking about both confessions at the same time was too much for
me to handle. God damnit! ... this has been a great weekend and yet I'm in
a depressed mood now because of troubles I've brought on myself.  Then,
wait a minute, I thought... I didn't go out looking for two boyfriends. I
didn't go out looking for any boyfriend, Willie and Robbie found me... I
didn't find them. Well, I may have found Robbie a little, I guess, and I
sure wasn't fighting Willie off at all. It's probably mostly my fault, what
do I know?  If only they both weren't so perfect, if only I didn't love
them both, and if only I didn't actually love, love, love doing sex with
them... if only.  If only all those things maybe this wouldn't be so hard
to do, this confessing and hurting them.  I fell into a troubled sleep and
the first thing I thought of when awake Monday morning was "thank god today
isn't Tuesday because on Tuesday I need to confess to Willie"...

       DYLAN'S DILEMMA ... CONCLUSION PART 14b (two of two)

                                     Chapter three


Well, this is the last full week of my summer job before school starts up
again.  A week from this Wednesday will be the first day of my Senior year
at Framingham High School.  Kind of nerve wracking that it's here already,
hope I'm prepared for it.  That's kind of a weird thought to have as I
walked through the locker room at Dicker's Landscaping and Design.  I was
exchanging friendly insults with the college guys and saying "good morning"
and high-fiving the guys on my crew... so maybe it ain't so weird I was
thinking about going back to school because I'm kinda sad all this will be
ending so soon. It's been so much more fun coming to work with no Joel to
worry about.  Starting next week, after school, I'll be meeting a whole new
group of guys as a bag boy at Super Stop and Shop. I put Chubby's name on
the bag boy waiting-list but there were a lot of names ahead of him so for
the time being he'll stick with the window washer job after school and on
 Saturdays.  Saturday nights too for that matter, like they've been doing
all summer. However, I do not want to think about Chubby and Ricky right
now, and I do not want to think about tomorrows confession to Willie right
now either. No, instead I want to think about Robbie who I should be seeing
any second now.  Ah yes! there he is at my locker with my coffee and with
his big smiling eyes that make me feel like the most important person in
the world.  He looks so glad to see me, I go "Yo, stud... why ya smiling so
hard?"  Robbie looked down blushing, his bottom lip between his teeth.  Can
I believe that? It's almost impossible to believe he's the same boy who
showed such leadership and confidence at baseball practice yesterday. After
all we've been through together recently too, and he still blushes like
that at something as inane as my stupid greeting. I leaned right next to
his ear and said, "You are the cutest boy I've ever seen in my life... you
 make me sweat, dude" and I mussed his neatly combed flattop.  His hair is
so soft and silky that after mussing it I ran my hand up the back of his
head a few times enjoying the feel of it.  Robbie stood still allowing me
to do what I wanted with him. I could feel my dick getting hard so I sat on
the bench in front of my locker puffing a few long breaths and then sipping
my coffee.

Robbie sat right next to me and said, "I get all squirmy when I see you,
Dylan.  You're like my idol or something. I'm not too proud to admit that
either" and, without even looking around he leaned close to my face and
licked across my lips with his saliva soaked tongue.  I gasped and grabbed
my hard cock to adjust it from its uncomfortable position. "Damn, you're
hot, Robbie!  But, Jesus!... can't you look around first to see if anyone
is watching?"  Robbie took my head in both hands and with me trying to pull
away he licked up from my chin, across my lips, and right up the front of
my nose leaving behind a wet trail of spit. Oh my God! he is so sexy, one
second he's shy and the next he's doing this kind of aggressive move.  I
gulped and inhaled his spit then coughed when a speck got in my wind
pipe. Robbie patted my back hard and said, "You taste good!  Hey, Dodger
said you and Chubby were at the practice field yesterday.  I wish you guys
stayed around
 till practice was over." After patting my back he left his arm around my
shoulders and leaned against me some more while all the time pushing at his
lap with his other hand.  It was a tiny bit awkward, but that fact didn't
appear to register with Robbie.  Clearing my throat and shrugging my
shoulders a little I explained how Chubby and I didn't want to interrupt
his practice. I told him he was very cool running the show there which made
him blush again and mumble, "I've always been pretty good on a baseball
diamond so I feel really comfortable there."  Thinking to myself, 'I guess
so, dude'...  Robbie adds, "Can we go in the back locker room and do a
quick make-out now?"  I was happy to get out of this cuddling position
right out in the middle of the locker room so I quickly nodded my head
saying, "Great idea!"  I stood up to readjust my boner sideways hoping it
wouldn't show as much that way. Robbie's boner was poking undisturbed
straight out the front
 of his pants. He looked at me, his mouth slightly open, panting a
little... there was sort of a longing in his beautiful blue eyes that had
me doing some panting myself. On the way to the back Robbie said, "Wasn't
our date Saturday night the best date ever, Dylan? Have you ever been on a
date as cool as ours?  I dreamed about it last night.  Oh dude, guess
what... I'm getting as bad as my brother with the jerking off. You know,
from thinking about you I'm jerking off about twenty times a day or
something..." I mumbled, "Wha...?  Twenty times..."  We were in the
way-back locker section by now and instead of responding to his comments
further I got my arms around his neck and made out with him the way Willie
taught me to make-out. Robbie's and my boners dueled as we kissed, licked,
and sucked on each others tongue, and face, and lips.... and, oh God!
sooooooo nice!

Picking-up from where we left off Sunday morning, our make-out quickly
became very intense. This time I got so close to cumming in my pants I had
to stop making out and rest my face side by side with Robbie's which was OK
with Robbie... he always went along with whatever I wanted to do. As we
swayed together cheek to cheek, hugging and grinding our crotches together,
I desperately tried catching my breath and, at the same time, allow my nuts
to relax their sperm making chores... whoa!!  We'd begun to perspire back
there, this room has no air conditioning, but our sweat just added to the
erotic feeling running down from our foreheads and mixing together.  We
were just about to start again when the five minute work warning tone
sounded loudly and we slowly let go of each other and took a step apart. My
face felt red and hot and Robbie's looked red and hot which made him even
sexier looking then normal, sweat on his upper lip, some dripping at his
temples,
 and beading sweat on his forehead near his hairline with his fabulous
flattop above it all and looking so cool.  My knees felt weak from gawking
at him, what a hot picture he makes.  I reluctantly nodded my head toward
the door and Robbie did the slightest grin at me, then we walked out into
the refreshingly air-conditioned main locker room.

Already in his Dickers Landscaping and Design outfit Robbie followed me to
my locker to watch while I changed. For some reason we were both quiet now,
just grinning a bit at each other.  I guess you could say we were totally
relaxed together and didn't feel the need for talking all the time.  I
could still smell the spit in my nose from Robbie's early lick... it was a
refreshingly cool smell, uniquely Robbie's. He said, "I... er, that
is... We only have a couple minutes before work, but I need to tell you
something.  Confess something to you Dylan."  I was dressed by now and
stood up holding my coffee, curious, "Confess?... what is it, Robbie?"  He
goes, "Don't hate me... I had such a crush on you for weeks and weeks.  I
didn't know what... anyway, it's stupid and dumb and I hate myself for
doing it... and, er, ya know..."  Nodding my head encouragingly and Robbie
blurts out, "I put some stuff in your locker at the beginning of the
summer, before you got
 a lock for it."  Shocked this was coming up now, two months after the
fact, I go, "You...?  It was you?".  Robbie looked away and whined, "I
wanted you to notice me... you were always goofing around with the college
boys, I thought you'd never.... anyway, I was fucked-up in my head and I
did it and I'm so sorry, Dylan.  Say you forgive me."  I drank some coffee
trying to think how I felt about it and decided it was no big deal after
all the other stuff that's happened since then.  I said, "Of course I
forgive you Robbie, but that was some nasty stuff, dude, that condom and
all."  Robbie blushed a dark red and sweat broke out on his forehead again,
air conditioning or not. He looked down like he does a lot and swallowed
hard, then mumbled, "You said you forgive me so is it OK if we never bring
it up again?" Thinking about my confession to Robbie coming up this
Wednesday I quickly added, "Oh OK, you bet dude.  Sure... bring up what?"
We did a quick hug
 and the side of his face rubbed mine, oh man... it not only looked red and
hot, it was hot.  He'd blushed the darkest red I've ever seen. I said,
"It's forgotten Robbie, I swear to God.  I love ya, dude. I'm no angel
either, ya know!" Robbie mumbled, "thanks..." Then we ran for the pickup
truck.

The work day flew by. I did give some thought to Robbie putting that nasty
shit in my locker; the "queer" signs and the condom with cum in it and all.
I wasn't mad at him though; basically I felt bad for what his state of mind
must have been like back then, him trying to get attention while being a
closeted gay, and feeling all alone, hoping upon hope I was gay too... had
to be very stressful for him and as a consequence he'd made bad choices. I
can relate to some of those feelings certainly except I never had the
longing or the desires that Robbie had because my gayness was buried in my
subconscious mind. Well, actually I did have some of the longings and
desires, I just didn't recognize them as such.  It's always amazing to
discover what people are capable of when they feel they have nothing else
to lose and that feeling of desperation takes over. Sure is hard to believe
that sweet and innocent Robbie would put that shit in my locker though, and
even
 harder to believe he'd put Joel's life in danger, but he's guilty on both
counts.  I don't pretend to know what to make of it, so I'll just be
grateful it all turned-out so well and leave it at that.  At the end of the
workday Robbie and I only had a quick make-out due to time constraints. We
called it "make-out lite" on afternoons when Robbie had to leave with his
parents right after work.  Robbie was all excited about the Wednesday night
barbecue coming up. Told me he had been trying to formulate ways he and I
could be alone again for some hanky/panky.  "If none of my plans work, you
may need to do me in the pickup again, Dylan.  Is that OK?"  It went like
that. 'Would that be OK?' he asked...  Jeez! Ya think?  Oh, he's special
alright. I'm beginning to ease up on my worry about the consequences of
confessing to Robbie.  My sexual exploits with Willie might not be a big
enough deal to piss-off Robbie, he just might forgive me anything, that's
the
 impression I'm getting.  It doesn't hurt that he felt the need to confess
that locker stuff to me today either.

Monday after work Chubby and I completed all but two hours each of our
driver training with Ms Personality.  We both felt comfortable behind the
wheel and confident we can pass the State Trooper's driving test too. We'd
already passed the written portion... well, actually it's not written; we
did it on their computer at the DMV which is to say, the Department of
Motor Vehicles. We'd finish up the driving portion this week and take the
test on Monday before school starts.  Then, in a couple of weeks, we'll
shop for a car which will be purchased under Tris' name as owner, but be
driven by us boys. Until then we'll be walking to school just like always,
drivers license or not because the Moms needed the Volvo getting back and
forth to work. It's exciting to be this close to our dream though, but oh
man! the things we've had to go through to get this far... well, never mind
because we're here now.  Chubby and I messed around after eating dinner and
then did
 our shaving ritual which ended with fantastic jerk-offs, me doing Chubby
and Chubby doing me.  I was dizzy with the thrill of it and felt as close
to Chubby as I've ever felt in my life. Chubby passed up the foot massage
so I had to think maybe he did Ricky's feet after work today.  Enuf' said
about that, no sense dwelling on it because there isn't anything I can do
to change it right now... and also, I was very busy getting myself
worked-up to confess to Willie. That was taking a lot of my energy and most
of my contemplating time. It kept me up half the night trying to think of
the proper words to say.  The only thing Willie ever asked of me, and he
asked this early on, was for me to be true to him.  It had to do with safe
sex of course, but was also a trust thing between us. He's the experienced
one and I'm positive he's only participated in 'safe' sex.  Safe sex with
every single sex partner he's had... with his mentor Larry, or Carl, or
Charles, or
 anyone else.  After asking me to be true to him... well, actually he
ordered me to be true to him... anyway, after that, the first outside sex I
had was with Dodger and he forced that on me in the pool that time. I had
no choice, or almost none.  Then the mohawk man, working under a
misconception, spanked the shit out of me and fucked me so hard that just
thinking about that sexual experience gives me a little stiff dick to this
day. Interaction with the Marine was mostly before Willie's time, and
Willie actually was most of the reason I told the Marine, "No more, thanks"
or words to that effect.

So, what to confess and how to say it?  I'm so nervous about getting it
right because I do not want to lose Willie. I seriously don't think I'll
ever find anyone who fits with me so well.  I'm referring to fucking here,
of course, but I could easily include the way he wraps me up afterward, or
the way we're perfect size to dance together, or take a shower with, or
just sleep together, and I actually mean sleeping. Willie is the perfect
boyfriend for me and yes I'm definitely including his dominant side too.
It's just dominant enough to get my balls buzzing, but not too much to be
stupid like the Prep school boys.  I need to concentrate on confessing to
Willie, but oh shit, I'm feeling real love for Willie and I'm afraid to
lose him.  It's just nuts the way you fall in love and it gets totally in
your head and all. What am I going to do when he says the words, whatever
they're going to be... the ones that call me names and tell me to get the
fuck out of
 his sight, what indeed?  I can think of plenty that apply to someone like
me, but why torture myself even more....?  Sleep did come eventually and
then it was Tuesday morning and nothing went right from the minute I got
up.  I don't think I've ever been this nervous. I bumbled around trying to
get ready for work, almost missed my bus, forgot money to pay for the bus
and had to borrow it from the black hospital orderly kid... never even got
my bus ride boner. Getting off the bus I caught my shorts on a screw and
ripped the pocket which made me mumbled, "Fuck!" and when I looked up there
was a nun waiting to get on the bus... we both looked away. Damn! what a
morning.  At work I couldn't even concentrate on my make-out with Robbie
and finally had to lie to him saying I wasn't feeling well, upset
stomach. That wasn't a total lie actually because I was sick to my
stomach... with worry.

It's the kind of worry where you know, you just KNOW! you've done wrong and
there isn't any excuse for your actions.  One of the aspects of confessing
to Willie about cheating on him is that I'm feeling this wicked
embarrassment for doing him so wrong...  it's hard to admit something that
you're so embarrassed about. Willie who has done nothing wrong, but rather
everything nice for me, who treats me like a prince, a treasure and I need
to tell him I made a sucker out of him.  Tell him I've been fucking my
brains out with others whenever I get the chance, and all those times I'm
telling him, "I love you Willie" I was either telling someone else the same
thing or at least having sex with them.  I love you, but I'm going to have
sex with anyone who wants to.  Nice, huh?  It's true, well, who the hell
did I turn down?  Some weren't my fault entirely but it still happened so
either on purpose or accidentally I was partly responsible.  Mostly my
confession is
 about Robbie, of course. Without mentioning names, I need to tell Willie I
love someone else, and that that someone-else loves me too.  Getting
ridiculous I thought of saying to Willie, "Who knows how many boys I can
have sex with and fall in love with simultaneously... a world's record
perhaps... and, by the way Willie, thanks for all the presents too!". Oh
man, I'm a promiscuous whore, a slut, a two timing cheating
bastard. Thoughts like that... that's the way my entire day went. After
work my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding and I'd worked myself
into a frenzy.  As I was leaving Robbie hugged me and whispered, "Get
better Dylan, please. Tomorrow is our Wednesday barbecue day, remember?
And, you know what else we want to do, right?....."  I smiled a little
smile for him and muttered, "I'll try, dude.  Love ya, Robbie"... then his
father called him for their ride home.

Oh God, walking to the bus stop I was a wreck.  When I get off the bus
Willie would be there at the other end.  My mind went blank, all my
planning went for naught because I couldn't remember any of the words I
wanted to say.  I was like a convict being led to the gallows, or
something.  By now I was resigned to losing Willie, but hopeful I'd still
have Robbie.  Half the time I told myself that there wouldn't be any need
to confess to Robbie after Willie dumped me, but that's the coward's way
out.  I was determined to start fresh with a clear conscience, but first
some rationalization...  OK, if the worse case scenario happens and I lose
both boyfriends it wouldn't be all bad starting my senior year "single",
without a boyfriend. There are plenty of boys in high school and this is my
first full year as a gay boy... who knows what might develop, right? My
head filled up with numerous rationalizations the closer I got to Willie
and I couldn't think
 straight about a single one of them.  I got off the bus and there was
Willie sitting on the bus stop bench, grinning as he stared at me.  He
looked sexy.  His hair was growing in and looked especially cool today.
He's always appeared longish to me, but in actuality he's only about an
inch "longer" then me.  I loved that little spray of tint freckles on the
bridge of his nose and I loved that little-boy look of his.  That's his
natural look, not a "face" he puts on. And to me it's so beautiful when he
smiles. I know he isn't beautiful like Robbie is beautiful, it's more like
there is just 'something' about his looks that I connect with somehow and
that 'thing' makes my heart go bump, bump, bump... and my dick starts
taking on blood, and what are you gonna do, it just happens.  Willie and I
were just right together... we worked-out our differences when they
popped-up, there really weren't that many of them anyway, and we really
enjoyed being with each
 other. Why do I need to lose him as my boyfriend?  It isn't fair... and it
will hurt his feelings something terrible when I tell him how I've cheated
on him behind his back. That may be the worst of it, me hurting him like
that.  I don't want to hurt him.  I don't need to tell him either, why
should I?  It'll just be bad for Willie in every way and he doesn't deserve
to suffer just because I've been unfaithful.  He's more fragile then he
thinks too... you know, what with no family involvement to speak of... he
was considering me his family, sort of.  Me and Willie. He trusted me and
did all kinds of sweet things for me, I just can't hurt him.  I can't!

Willie stood right up when I got off the bus and with a worried look on his
face came over to me to grab each of my biceps stopping me in my tracks to
asks, "What wrong Dylan, you're so pale." I said, "I've been cheating on
you for a while now Willie and I have a wicked guilty conscience about that
and I'm so sorry Willie, please forgive me."  He said, "Wha...?  What's
this all about?"

I'm such a baby, I felt the tears building up behind my eyes, but I will
not fucking cry!  Clamping my jaw together I made myself not cry and then a
single goddamn tear ran down my cheek as I inhaled a long breath through my
nose.  "Let's go over and get in the car, Dylan... you can tell me about it
there". Feeling like a zombie I walked across the street to Willie's car
and got in.  Willie got in the driver's side and when his door slammed shut
he said, "Oops, I didn't slam that on purpose, babe, it slipped.  Ya want a
cigarette?" Nodding my head Willie fished his hard pack of Marlboro Lights
from one of the pockets of his cargo shorts and lit one up, I was
thinking... 'well, I got it out, my confession is out there now and I can't
get it back so now I'll see what happens'.  I wasn't all shook up anymore
because, ironically, being with Willie calmed me down.  He took a drag,
passed the cigarette to me and quietly said, "Do you want to tell me about
it?
 You don't have to if you don't want to."  I smoked and talked while
looking straight ahead.  It wasn't necessary to lie about anything now so I
told him about having a crush on Robbie when I thought he was straight and
about Robbie coming "out' to me in the locker room and about how it wasn't
long before we were making out and doing sex together.  I didn't get
explicit about the sex and I didn't mention the Joel incident or the
unsavory things Robbie had put in my locker at the beginning of the
summer. I didn't tell about Dodger fucking me in their pool or Mohawk man
either because all that would complicate things.  I wanted to keep it
simple and concise and direct.  It took maybe three minutes to recite my
cheating and then I ended it with, "I don't want you to dump me Willie.  I
love you."

He patted my shoulder affectionately and said, "Jeez, Dylan... I don't
know, I..  Well, no one has ever confessed anything to me before.  I don't
want to say the wrong thing so let me think a minute. OK if we drive
someplace?"  I mumbled, "Sure, drive." He pulled away from the curb as my
head was buzzing with thoughts, but most of them were now positive
thoughts, not negative ones like I'd been having up to a moment ago.  I
wasn't feeling quite as down-in-the-dumps now either... I actually had hope
for the first time that it would all work out OK.  Willie didn't even seem
pissed-off, or surprised, or anything I thought he'd be.  I glanced over at
him quickly... he had the tip of his pink tongue just barely out between
his lips which I know is what he does when he's concentrating. Steering
through some congested traffic on route 9 he said nothing. Then out on
route 30, a two lane road, the traffic let up and he said, "I'm trying to
come up with the right
 thing to say Dylan, you know... to calm you down and reassure you we'll be
OK, but something else keeps pushing everything else in my head out of the
way and demands my attention".  Wondering where he was going with that, I
dropped the cigarette butt over the side of the convertible without doing
any damage, and quietly asked, "What's that?"  Willie says, "Don't be
offended or get your feelings hurt or anything, but did you two guys have
safe sex?"  Oh, so that's what he's worried about, now I
understood... AIDS.  I told him it was Robbie's first sex ever so we didn't
use a condom, but then, why would we since I'm safe and it's his first sex
ever? Willie believed that I believed that Robbie was a virgin, but said he
didn't know Robbie like I did and so for his, Willie's, peace of mind would
I mind being tested?  Willie said he'd get tested with me to keep me
company and he wanted to do it right now.  He was referring to a blood
test, of course, and this
 very afternoon with his personal doctor in Cambridge who would draw the
blood etc etc... Willie had been "out" from early puberty to his doctor who
lectured him every time he saw him on the need for safety and all that.  I
mumbled, "Sure, I don't mind" and Willie smiled at me and patted my thigh
saying, "Thanks, baby! I'm paranoid about that stuff".  In my head I'm
thinking... 'this is it? This is all there is to it?  I've been worried
sick for weeks and all we need to do is have a blood test?... Oh please,
let it be so!'

On the Mass Pike it was too noisy to talk so I contemplated Willie being so
cavalier about me cheating on him.  Doesn't he care if I'm faithful to him?
He told me not to "stray" way back when he was away at his grandparents
early in the summer.  He was adamant about it back then which is the reason
I've been worrying so much about my "straying".  Then I thought... isn't
this typical of me, the second I discover Willie isn't going to yell and
scream and "dump" me, I drop that concern and change it around to worrying
about why it is he doesn't yell and scream and dump me.  That is so like me
to do that. Stupid!  Be happy, be grateful, talk to him about it, try to
understand it, but don't fucking worry about it now when Willie is being so
generous about it... it's wimpy to worry about it without doing something
about it anyway.  Ask him!  I had myself worked up to discuss what our
current relationship was now, after my confession, and as Willie paid the
 toll at the Cambridge exit I asked, "Aren't you at all disappointed in me,
Willie?"  He looked over and said, "I don't know what to think Dylan.
We're seventeen fucking years old for christ sakes... we fuck-up sometimes,
ya know? I wish you hadn't kept the fact that I'm not the only one you love
a secret... I feel kinda foolish now at how I thought you were madly in
love with me, and me alone.  I feel stupid about that, ya know?...." I
mumbled, "I'm sorry, Willie, I really am.  It's all so new to me, I really
do feel like a total shit about this, if that makes ya feel any better.  I
suck!"  Willie was amazingly philosophical about the whole situation when
he said, "Like I just said, we're seventeen year old gay boys in the prime
of our sexual life... of course we're going to over-do it sometimes just
because, well just because we can. We're all stupid to some degree Dylan,
stupid but happy.  Ya know?" And he actually chuckled, "Hey, I learned
 something from this.  I learned I'm not as irresistible as I thought I
was.  You were somehow able to resist me long enough to fall for someone
else too."  He did an imitation of a laugh, but I think he was covering up
his hurt too and so I said again, "I'm really sorry for deceiving you
Willie, I'll never do that again.  I'll come and talk to you about
everything and we'll work through whatever it is together.  OK?"  Willie
did a head nod agreeing with me and he had a small forced grin on his face
when he did the nod, but I'm sure he was putting-up the best "front" he
could even though I'd hurt his feelings pretty badly.  I wanted to hug him
and thank him and apologize again and tell him I love him best, but I did
none of that.  Instead I was congratulating myself on still having him as
my boyfriend.

We both had to endure a lecture from Willie's doctor when we got in to see
him.  Dr Warner ended the lecture with, "You know William that I keep very
private what you and I discuss relating to sexual contact and I do that so
you can always feel confident about telling me anything.  You, Dylan, are a
lucky fellow to have a boyfriend like William here, he is as upfront a
human being as I've ever met, adult or otherwise.  Nurse Ramos will take
your blood and we'll rush the results through for you boys.  Be super
careful boys, Aids has no mercy."  The Rapid HIV test results, which we got
in fifteen minutes, were negative.  It'll take longer for the results for
the Western Blot test results and we'll redo the test in five or six months
but we all knew we were safe.  Willie was satisfied and apologized for
doubting Robbie's honesty but I stopped him and told him the testing was no
big deal, it made sense and was the very least I could do for him. Back in
the
 car I asked, "Do you think we can do "it" tonight Willie? I hope so."
Willie goes, "God almighty Dylan, I couldn't stop myself even if we tested
positive, dude.  You're irresistible, sweetheart!"  I played along and said
I knew he was partially joking about the testing positive part, I'm pretty
sure if I tested positive Willie would use a condom tonight. Probably
because we were both a little uptight, the condom remark got us both
laughing even though it wasn't actually funny at all. Willie and I walked
the three blocks to his car with Willie's arm around my waist and I didn't
mind even a little bit. At the car, with people walking by on the other
side of the street, I put my arm around Willie's neck to pull his head over
for a long, wet kiss and then said, "Thank you for understanding, Willie.
I love you."  He did a quick kiss back and said, "Your welcome, and you
already know how much I love you."  What an incredibly wonderful feeling I
had.  A
 weight was lifted off my head... a weight that didn't even need to be
there in the first place if I'd simply been up-front with Willie about
Robbie from the start. I felt good also because my boyfriend was special
enough to be so understanding, he's more mature then most kids our
age... certainly more mature then me.

We ate at an Italian restaurant and talked about us... and about what we
knew about being in love which turned out to be, not much. Willie was very
forthcoming about his ignorance of the topic of love. On the topic of
dating he freely admitted that his conception of dating came from his
imagination, from comic books, and from the manner in which Larry treated
him during their roommate experiences. Willie has finally realized that
Larry's relationship technique is strictly dominant/submissive, and nothing
else.  It's no longer the model Willie is following although he did say,
"I'm not planning on throwing out the baby with the water, Dylan" and when
I asked what he meant, he said, "You'll see, sweetheart, you'll see" and as
ominous as that sounds he was smiling sweetly when he said it so I'm sure
he feels there are some parts of the dominance aspect of our relationship
that he'll keep in play because we both like it. Willie asked questions
about my other
 boyfriend and I felt relaxed enough to use Robbie's name.  I gave truthful
answers without elaborating on my answers and quite quickly Willie said,
"Ya know what, Dylan?  Why should I pretend otherwise, I'm fucking jealous
of him but I know life ain't exactly the way I want it to be at all times
so I need to deal with it somehow, but in the meantime I guess I don't want
to talk about this Robbie person specifically.  You and someone else in
general terms, OK... but Robbie specifically, not so good right now."  I
mumbled, "OK, I'm sorry Willie, I...." Willie held up his hand like "it's
OK, that's enough..." and I then gratefully dropped the subject of
'specifically Robbie' entirely.

After a minute of silence Willie smiled at me indicating that everything is
fine. I nodded my head and smiled back at him.  A little later, with
mouthfuls of pizza, we discussed how it felt to be in love with each other,
but we also agreed that without prior experience, who knows if it in fact
is actually love per se, perhaps it's merely puppy love or not love at all
but rather a heavy crush or maybe we were just in love with the sex and the
situation! We laughed at ourselves at the possibility we both were merely
in love with the sex while, at the same time, we both knew it was more then
that... maybe it even is real love. "True" love is something else again and
remains an abstract concept to us. Willie talked about his sex with Larry
and Carl this past weekend, and his sex with Larry for the past two years
as roommates.  With that scenario as a backdrop he was trying to figure out
why I'd feel it necessary to keep it secret that I was having sex with
 someone else... you know, when it was obvious that Willie had been doing
it with someone else for at least two years... why the secret?  I started
to answer, but no answer came into my head and I mumbled, "I have no
fucking idea. This is the first time I've compared you being fucked by
Larry with me fucking Rob... er, that is, me fucking 'someone' other then
you.  It never occurred to me before that it's basically the same thing
that you've been doing".  Now Willie had a new topic that intrigued him, he
goes, "Wait a second... 'You' fuck your friend?  He doesn't do it to you?"
I explained how my "friend" and me were almost the complete reverse of
Willie and me... top and bottom wise.  I told him how I was actually the
lead or to use Willie's favorite word, the 'dominant' partner between my
friend and me.  Willie was fascinated with that until I pointed out how
Willie was the submissive one with Larry, and the opposite with me.  We
were both shaking our
 heads at the mystery of sexual roles... and the mystery of pretty much
everything else too.  Willie summed it up as he was counting out the money
to pay the check, "I guess we pretty much don't know shit. You and me
together I mean, we're pretty much clueless about everything" and that made
us both laugh and it made me feel real close to Willie too.  A nice warm,
closeness feeling.

Walking to his car, with his arm around my waist, Willie asked, "Um, what
should we do now Dylan?"  I'm like, "Hmmmm?  How about we hang-out in your
bedroom and play monopoly or something".  Willie goes, "Great idea"... and
we joked around with goofing-off stuff like that until we were back on the
Mass Pike at seventy miles an hour again and with the top down we couldn't
hear one another over the traffic noises.  I took the time to consider my
confession and how I'd been truly surprised about almost everything that
transpired after it. Surprised at how dumb I was to start with too.
Surprised at how patient Willie was about everything and how he didn't make
fun of me even though he must have thought I was a nut-case worrying so
much about having sex with another boy when he, Willie, did it regularly
and openly with Larry. What was I thinking?  I mean, agonizing over this so
called dilemma all this time when Willie summed it up correctly as us being
two
 hot-to-trot seventeen year old gay kids having sexy fun, not hurting
anyone, just enjoying the height of our sexual prowess.  My only error in
judgement was keeping Robbie a secret from Willie.  If I'd just mentioned
him to Willie I would have discovered it was no big thing a long time ago
and spared myself a lot of anguish.  Back at the restaurant Willie had
reminded me that neither of us ever said we were going steady together, we
always said we're boyfriends, but being boyfriend doesn't mean you can
never play the field a little, at least in Willie's world, which I was in.
Whatever, all I know for sure is that it's a wonderful feeling having
things out in the open with Willie.  I've never dated a girl or boy before
Willie so what did I know about what's acceptable and what's not?  I don't
know anyone who is big on dating of any kind anyway.  Chubby dated girls,
but not a lot. None of the guys we know were big on dates, as couples.
Sure, three or
 four guys and three or four girls would go to the Mall or the movies or a
dance together, but not couple specific.  One-on-one dating wasn't
prevalent in our lives like it apparently was back in "the day"... whenever
"the day" was.

Pulling up Willie's driveway I tried to remember how many times I've come
here with Willie this past summer.  Not sure, but it's been quite a few.
Earlier during our pizza dinner we discussed how we'd shortly only be able
to see each other on Saturday nights during most of the school year because
Willie boards at the Prep School and only gets home on weekends.  Oh yeah,
speaking of dating, Willie wants me to spend a weekend in his dorm room in
November. That's when they have their big Fall dance and I'll be Willie's
date. That was a scary thing for me... being out and openly gay like that
with a couple hundred kids. Me a boy, being another boy's date for a
dance... oh my God!.  It was not a big deal to Willie because he'd been a
known gay student from day one at Prep and there are quite a few other
openly gay students too, he wasn't even an oddity. The overwhelming
majority of the boys were straight of course, but many of the boys who were
gay were
 openly gay which was a fairly easy thing to be in that inclusive Prep
school atmosphere.  The dance was almost two months away so naturally that
concern went on the back burner for me.  Willie also told me he was so
sorry but we couldn't do the weekend in Wildwood he'd wanted to do because
the fight with Larry meant that Willie needed a new roommate.  He needed to
go to Prep on the Saturday we were going to go to Wildwood to fill out
forms and interview potential roommates as well as be interviewed as a
potential roommate.  So, no overnight date in Wildwood and our
two-date-a-week schedule would be back to one date a week.  That was
inevitable though because I'd be busy with my High School senior year
too... one date a week will be fine. My confession and everything else
between Willie and me had worked out wonderfully.  I'm optimistic that
Robbie and I will be fine now too.  The reality of it all seems to be that
I never had a dilemma to work-out in
 the first place... which is fine with me.  I just need to forget about all
my days of worrying, they're in the past.

Willie had been quiet since the Mass Pike and driving up his long driveway
I asked, "Everything OK, Willie?" and he replied, "Absolutely!  I was just
trying to imagine what was going on in your head as you rode the bus
tonight knowing you were going to give me that big confession.  I'm not
making fun of you, Dylan.  I'm feeling bad you had to get yourself all
worked up over it, that's all... you're such a sweet guy, Dylan." We walked
from the garage to his house holding hands.  Inside, right up to his room
with Willie whispering, "Shhhh, I don't know who's here tonight."  Well, he
knew his parents weren't here at least because they were together, for
once, visiting a relative on his mother's side in in Barcelona until the
first week in September.  In Willie's bedroom he immediately adopted his
familiar semi-authoritative attitude.  Sex, not monopoly, was in our
immediate future and to Willie that meant a touch of dominant behavior was
in order.  Old
 habits are hard to break and, as I've said any number of times, it's OK
with me as long as he keeps his dominant antics within reason. Actually, to
be more accurate, I didn't especially want him to lose all his dominant
ways. Willie nodded toward the bathroom and said, "Let's get undressed and
then I want you shave my pubes for me, OK babe? You got me hooked on that
feel."  I go, "Sure willie" as we were undressing.  It didn't take long to
get naked and the first thing I looked at was Willie's long, thin penis
swinging freely between his long legs. It's a very nice looking cock with
no bends or protruding veins, just a nice smooth cream toned penis with a
normal sized head that was rosy pink at the moment.  Willie mumbled, "I've
been horny from thinking about you ever since our date last Friday night.
He played with his dick as he got out scissors, a safety razor, and shaving
cream.  His cock firmed-up some so he fisted it a few times, took a deep
 breath and grunted-out, "How bout giving me some head Dylan, I'm really
feeling it right now, sweetheart."  I love sucking young cock so I got
right down on my knees in front of Willie and took his cock from his hand
to stroke it a few times myself, then sucked it inside my mouth and tongued
the head steadily for a minute until his boner was stiff and sticking
straight out from his bush.  Willie groaned, bit his bottom lip and
struggled to say, "Take it in your throat, baby".... he cupped the back of
my head with both hands and pulled my head into his crotch.  His boner
poked up high on the roof of my mouth at first so he backed up a bit and
then humped it into my throat with a smooth move and pulled my head forward
until my nose was squished past his pubes into his belly... his boner deep
down my throat.  Tears rolled down my cheeks, not from pain; having a hard
cock down my throat just made my eyes water, that's all.  Rotating his hips
a little at
 first, then Willie pulled his cock almost all the way out of my throat and
immediately humped it all the way back down again.  Panting now and out a
breath Willie groaned, "holy shit...", just before fucking my throat four
or five times.  He hesitated with his cock halfway down my throat, me
gasping for air, tears streaming down my face... Willie was barely able to
grunt, "Oh my God this is...." before he shuddered and then violently
fucked my throat a few more times breathing through his nose noisily with
me thrashing around trying to pull off his boner, needing oxygen.  Willie
goes, "Aaaaaaah OK OK... just a sec..." as he let go of my head and I was
able to pull back. His long, ridiculously hard cock, dripping with my
saliva, came all the way out of my mouth.  Willie made that escaping-steam
sound through his teeth and quickly stroked his sloppy boner a few times
with me gasping for air in the background.  From my knees I looked up at
Willie
 quizzically and he goes, real sincerely, "Sorry Dylan, I'm sorry baby, but
I lost it there for a second.  That felt so awesome in your throat... oh
shit, oh man..."

Willie backed away stroking his rock hard boner, precum drips drooling from
the pee slit.  Breathlessly he says, "OK babe, get on all fours now, I'm
going to fuck you doggy style, we'll do the pubes later".  I turned on my
knees to face away from him, got in position, and Willie, still trying to
catch his breath, smacked my ass hard saying, "Get your pussy up in the air
Dylan, don't make me tell you that every time" and two more hard smacks on
my bare ass made me yelp out and whimper, "Willie, no..." but I got my ass
pushed out and up like he wants it and I held it there even though it's an
awkward position to maintain.  Willie took his time mounting me, first dry
fingering my hole with one then two fingers.  He was breathing regularly by
the time he gave my ass a final two smacks which caused me to grunt out and
suck on my bottom lip to keep from whining.  Willie, almost to himself
mumbled, "Keep that pussy up"... he got behind me to straddle my ass
 with his feet just about next to my knees, the wet head of his boner
dragged across my right buttocks.  I felt the head around my hole and then
all at once he just humped his boner inside me hard, past my sphincter ring
and up at least six inches, then immediately pulled back most of that six
inches and again pushed back in even harder this time.  The last thrust
went all the way up inside me until he was almost sitting on my up-turned
ass.  "Ooooh yeah" he goes "Ohhhh that feels sooo good, Dylan.  My cock in
your pussy is perfection, baby... Here we go..."  and he fucked me steady
and wildly like he was riding me. My boner was soon parallel to my stomach
dripping drops of precum as I moaned and pushed my hole up toward Willie's
cock. Like he said, it was perfection, what a fantastically sexual
sensation being fucked rough by Willie and his long boner.  After about a
minute I felt Willie's saliva on my back as it dripped from his chin. He
was drooling
 while making that steam released sound he often makes when sexually
aroused.  My arms were starting to shake with the effort of holding us up
as he fucked me faster and harder, in a frenzy. It didn't last more than
three or four minutes although I certainly wish it had.  I was going,
"Aaahhh, aaahhh, aaahhh, aaahhh" and with every penetration that sound was
accompanied by this strong urge to stroke my cock but I needed both arms to
keep us in the doggie position.  Willie climaxed first, a big juicy feeling
inside me. I could easily tell he'd exploded his load because I felt the
difference in my hole, that slippery feeling followed quickly by thin
streams of cum drooling down the inside of my thighs.  My climax
followed... it was six or seven shorts spurts like I've never felt
before... like having seven little climaxes, one immediately after the
other.  It felt better then anything had a right to feel and more tears ran
down my face, I don't know why
 they did, they just did. Each shot of cum for some reason made me gasp and
mutter, "Willie!..." as the spurt hit my chest and drooled from there onto
the floor.  Seemed like quite a lot of spunk compared to my usual climaxes,
I can't imagine anything feeling any better.

The steam-release sound from between Willie's teeth faded as he slowed the
humping of my hole and everything slowed down after that... my breathing,
my heartbeat, my pulsating balls... everything slowed down and shortly was
almost back to normal.  Even so, a warmth flowed all over my body and I
shivered all over too... the after-shock of sensations as large as I just
had tend to hang around a bit. Willie slowly straightened up, pulling his
cock, inch by inch, out of me with me going, "Ohhhhh" as each inch was
withdrawn.  His cock fully out, a glob of cum flowed out right after it and
plopped on my buttocks, then rolled down the back of my leg which made me
shiver again and blink my eyes rapidly.  Willie, in almost a whisper says,
"Here Dylan wipe yourself real good so you don't drool all over the
place. Oh fuck! Nothing can top the feeling of being inside your tight
pussy Dylan, nothing!"... he handed me some tissues.  I cleaned my ass as
Willie wiped
 the cum that had already dripped off my ass onto the floor and then he
dabbed at the cum I'd shot on the throw rug. "OK, that's good baby.  Didn't
that feel good, Dylan?"I looked up at him and asked, "Why'd you spank me so
hard?  You getting back at me for cheating on you?"  He did a rye smile
shaking his head a little as he took two steps over to stand right in front
of me.  He knelt down then so now we were both on our knees and pulled my
head against his so the sides of our faces touched and his lips caressed my
ear when he said, "I do it because you like it that way.  Think about it
for a second Dylan, OK..." He tightened his arms around me with my arms
trapped between our bodies.  It was a variation of the way Willie wraps me
up in bed after sex sometimes. We were both sweaty now, that fuck had been
a wild ride.  He whispered in that captivating way he has, "It's not like I
always do it this way, but tell me... do you want me to stop treating you
 rough during sex like I've been doing occasionally? Do you, Dylan?..."

Ya know what, I didn't want him to change a thing. What was I thinking?
Not wanting to say it out loud because it contradicted what I'd just whined
about, so instead I barely shook my head no.  He quietly says, "So, that
means you do want me to sometimes treat you roughly. Is that right?"  Damn,
I thought... why'd I bring it up in the first place, what an ass I am.  I
should have thought about it first, but I had to answer now so I nodded my
head slightly up and down indicating, yes.  Willie whispers, "Saying it out
loud so I know what you want, Dylan... so we both know, actually."  I
mumbled, "I want you to sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, treat
me rough when you fuck me" Willie whispers, "Fuck your what?" and I go,
"Fuck my pussy". I felt like such a dorky little kid right then, but I'd
brought it on myself... when will I ever learn?  Willie did a long kiss on
the side of my face and whispered, "I never expect to love another person
in my
 whole life like I love you.  I just don't think I ever will."  He held me
so tightly rocking slightly from side to side, then added, "Whenever you
think I'm doing something to be mean to you, tell me and I'll never do that
thing, whatever it is, again."

I felt foolish creating the need for our little drama, but obviously Willie
has been getting mixed signals from me and he was frustrated with my
changing moods. It's often difficult to see things from another guy's
viewpoint and that's one of many things I really want to work on, trying to
be a better person, ya know?  It's hard to over-look the fact that certain
situations get me "off", being dominated by Willie for one. What the hell,
I recognize in myself that I like the feeling when I'm dominating my other
boyfriend, who's name I'm not suppose to say out loud but happens to be
Robbie.  I feel good when I'm dominant to him sometimes so what's
surprising about Willie enjoying dominating me sometimes too. It seems
Robbie knows himself better then I know myself because he's never hesitated
admitting he likes it when I dominant him during our sex together.  I felt
it harder to admit to myself, but I admit it now because Willie has shown
me examples.  It's
 sexy to me to have a dominant sex partner at times although it has a
tendency to get mixed-up in my head because I'm still fairly new at gay
sex. Hell, Willie gets mixed-up too and he's been openly gay since he was
ten years old. I need to contemplate this some more, another time... for
now, I want to enjoy the situation of Willie and me being naked in his
bathroom. Me, still on my knees, but now preparing to shave off Willie's
pubic hairs and that requires concentration.  I first used the scissors to
cut off the bulk of his kinky dark bush and then, after wetting the
stubble, I carefully shaved him smooth.  It's a great feeling rubbing
around a boy's pubic area when it's just been totally relieved of all that
kinky hair.  Being hairless down there made Willie's cock look even longer
too, and that's something to see. Willie goes, "Into the shower now,
baby"... this is nothing new when you're with Willie Worthington, he's the
cleanest boy ever. A little
 later on I was glad he was clean too because rimming is much more pleasant
without a strong initial shitty taste.  And, oh my god!... I do like
licking and sucking Willie's body, clean or otherwise.  I'm so hooked on
his body I'll never get tired of it.

What happened after our shower was we dried each other with huge thick
cotton towels and then got into his bed and scooted under the covers to
snuggle. It's unbelievable how well our bodies fit together. The snuggling
escalated into some intense making-out.  We were both getting very aroused
again so Willie, breathing hard, says, "My ass needs some rimming,
Dylan. Get your tongue up there like you did last time... really work it
out babe... it's such a turn-on for me..."  Well, did I ever do a number on
Willie's ass, and the whole time with my head under the covers too.  It was
like a strange new world... me and Willie's asshole in a warm, dark, soft
place that smelled strongly of Willie Worthington... hot, hot, hot! and
I've learned to really enjoy rimming Willie too, almost as much as I love
sucking his cock.  Starting out by lightly licking both of his hairless ass
cheeks getting him use to the feel of it and also getting my tongue use to
dragging
 saliva over taut, young, boy-flesh.  After a while, I began exerting more
pressure with my full tongue now so it was really pressing against his
skin... I systematically licked every inch of his ass and then did big wet
kisses and mini ass-cheek hickeys, sucking on the same spot down close to
his hole.  When both buttocks were nice and slippery and my nose slid on
them easily I systematically covered his ass with a second coat of saliva
starting at the very top of each thigh, then up his excellently shaped
buttocks to the top of his round mound of bubble butt, and then down the
other side.  By now my tongue was totally use to being used like this and
easily did quick licks just behind his balls when I was in that area and
then licks right down to the bottom of his ass crack when I was positioned
for that. Willie's ass tasted so good. My face was surrounded by his ass
cheeks, my tongue traveling the short length of his crack, down at the
crease, pushing
 with extra pressure at his asshole as I passed over it, and then slowly
back to his sac of nuts. There was the slightest shitty taste from my first
lap directly on his ass lips which quickly faded with additional licking.
I repeatedly kissed the top of his ass cheeks with serious wet smacking
kisses, then back down his ass crack, being sure to lap all the way inside,
and this time a big lick at his hole and then sucking his hole's ass lips
before continuing the serious licking all the way back down to his nuts
again. Hearing Willie let out a squeaky, shaky, long sigh, I snickered and
sucked on his nuts until they were dripping... then I began the same tongue
lapping path up his ass crack using the same exaggerated lapping and
sucking all along the valley of his great buttocks.  I loved licking his
ass and made sure to get it slimy with spit from top to bottom, then my
tongue once again began it's journey from the top of his crack to the very
bottom
 and then again with the sucking on his nut sac, my nose dragging deep into
his crack the entire way back.  Willie squirming and moaning, his hands
under the covers pressing my face against his ass and at one point the tip
of my nose actually entered his ass lips.

Reaching in front of his nuts I felt for Willie's wicked-hard cock and
stroked it four or five times, it startled me when he and I moaned
erotically at the same instant.  My cock was as hard as Willie's and now I
really meant business with the rimming, using both hands I spread Willie's
buttocks as wide apart as possible, stretching his asshole open slightly in
the process.  Wedging my nose in his upper crack I began tonguing Willie's
asshole and in thirty seconds, with his ass cheeks spread hard in opposite
directions, I got my tongue inside his asshole and did little licks and
then more little licks and then even more little licks until my tongue got
up inside him enough that I wasn't worried it would slip out as I
tongue-fucked him with Willie making gargling noise in his throat.  Shortly
he sounded like he was strangling on something as he humped his ass back
into my face while getting hold under my chin with one hand and behind my
head with the
 other to pull me away from his hole and up to his mouth.  We just
slobbered in each other's mouth as Willie wrapped his legs around me and
squeezed.  We were soon making animal sounds through our French kissing.
Then while Willie alternated sucking my tongue and dragging his own tongue
all over my face he maneuvered me onto my back, pushed my knees down next
to my chest, even with my feet in the air I still managed to push my
asshole... er, that is, my pussy up for him and Willie rammed his long
boner way up inside it and we both went ,"OHHHH, AHHH yeah, ohhh yeah" just
as if we rehearsed it that way.  It felt fantastic and once again I
climaxed in less then five minutes from Willie's rapid fucking of my
super-sensitive erotically-charged asshole.  One three inch spurt of sperm
flew out of my cock to land an inch up on my belly... I let out a squeal as
if I'd shot off a long rope of cum like the guys do in the Nifty story I
read.  The head of my dick
 has never felt so good.  I reached down and slowly stroked my cock as
Willie continued humping my ass grunting and making whiny sounds almost
like he was in pain.  He shot his load up my ass again and then collapsed
down on me with his dick still in me and we lay without moving for a minute
or two breathing hard.

All that activity had both of us a little sweaty again and it felt good
rubbing my face against his... he always, always, always smells so sexy to
me.  He kissed all over my face and we licked tongues and had our arms
wrapped around each other so tightly we could hardly move.  Slowly but
surely Willie arranged my now docile body in the position he wanted me in
and then he did his wrapping me up in his arms and legs thing until I was
totally under his control and couldn't get free if I wanted to, which I
didn't want to anyway.  We hadn't spoken words, just sounds of pleasure for
quite a while now.  I knew what to expect and when Willie pushed my head to
the side roughly I didn't resist and he sucked on my neck till I had a
hickey as large as any he's ever given me.  His process of giving me the
hickey went through the various stages of feeling sexy to stinging to
burning to being really irritating to numbness and I held steady for him
through all the
 stages.  Rimming your boyfriends ass and kissing it and forcing your
tongue inside it is the most submissive act I can think of, and doing it to
Willie gave me such boners as you wouldn't believe.  The hickeys, on the
other hand, are Willie's signature dominant act on me and me laying totally
docile while he does the hickey is the second most submissive act I do for
Willie... it too gives me hard, hard boners. So, if I need any evidence
that I enjoy certain submissive roles with my boyfriend, those two things
are further convincing examples.

When he was satisfied with my hickey we both relaxed our bodies some more
and Willie tightened up a few areas with his arms and legs and with our
faces together he whispered, "You happy Dylan?" and I nodded my head 'yes'
because I was very, very happy being here with him. Willie asked, "How'd
you like my fucking you this time?"  I mumbled, "I loved it Willie.  I feel
soooo good right now". He goes, "Me too... I love you more then I thought I
could ever love someone, but I believe I've already mentioned that to you
about seven billion times, haven't I?" and he chuckled good naturedly.  I
smiled against the side of his face, but said nothing.  Willie asked, "You
glad I picked you for my boyfriend?"  I said, "Yes Willie. Are you glad I
picked you for mine?"  He laughed at that and said, "Oh yeah, I guess I was
giving myself too much credit again.  If you didn't pick me too, there'd be
no you and me... would there? So, thank you, Dylan" and he did another
 long kiss on the side of my forehead. If you've never felted truly loved
and desired, I'm sorry you haven't because it's soooo excellent to feel
those emotions from someone you really care about, someone you might love
even. Again we lay in each others grasp, unable to move much at all,
without talking.  His smell, and the feel of his smooth strong, slender
body was so perfect for me I'd lay like this for a very long time and be
very content doing so.

Eventually though we needed to separate by necessity of nature's call... we
got out of bed to pee and then we shared a cold pepsi before getting back
in bed and wrapping up together again.  Willie said, "Our dates seem to
have a lot to do with us being in my bed most of the time Dylan, did ya
ever notice that?" I said, "Well now that you mention it, yeah... what's up
with that, dude?"  Willie played with my short hair saying, "Oh,
wait... it's not all my bed, I've fucked you in your bed too, I think" and
we laughed saying how variety was a good thing.  I love being in bed with
him, just chillin. Willie is a great talker and his quiet voice is so
boyish, it reminds me of Robbie's quiet voice which is a major bizarre
coincidence, one I did not mention to Willie by the way. He talked some
about this "dominant thing" that's been a part of us from the beginning and
how it's a turn-on for him to see how I myself get turned-on when he shows
certain dominant
 behavior towards me. He's still learning what works best for us and he
went on to say that lots of gay guys, and straight people too, work on what
turns their partners on during sex, just like we're more or less doing.
Willie is a great talker and it never seems he'll run out of things to say,
but like I said his voice is pleasant and he's usually talking about me and
him so it's very nice to listen to.  He talked about the big Fall dance at
Prep School and what he wants me to wear and how he wants my haircut for
the dance to look.  I had to chuckle to myself thinking that he's
consistent anyway.  He's back to the "boyfriends should have the same
haircut" concept that went way back to our first date when he showed up
with all his beautiful hair cut off into that nineteen-fifties style
flattop.  He was trying to get a haircut like I had at the time. He's so
cute with some of his notions of how things should be between boyfriends.
It really is part of
 what I think is charming about him.  And I admire how original he is, and
how sure of himself he is even about the silliest things, like the arm
around my waist and all. He's fun. The haircut I'm to have, by the way,
requires me letting my hair grow until just before the dance and then he'll
take me to his barber near his Prep school and have my hair cut into what
he called a layered-cut, parted in the middle with bangs across my forehead
and the hair over my ears and so forth.  It's actually the popular hair
style at his prep school and he want's his date for the Fall dance to look
like he belongs, I guess.  It's a haircut you see on TV in old movies from
the seventies on all the boys.  Well, were moving on up from the fifties to
the seventies anyway... haircut-wise.

Willie talked about a lot of things but he didn't mention Robbie again and
he didn't mention my so-called dilemma again either.  To him it was now all
about some unsubstantiated rumor that was best ignored.  As far as Willie
was concerned he and I were boyfriends and any sex on the side that we do
must be safe and should be acknowledged as opposed to hiding it. After
discussing it briefly, then forget about it because he and I were what was
important, not some random playful sex.  I have no major disagreement with
much of Willie's philosophy, if that's what it is. I mostly loved the idea
of keeping both boyfriends just the way they are.  It was getting late but
Willie had yet another hard boner that must be accommodated before getting
out of bed.  He inserted that boner up inside me for one of his romantic
fucks where he goes real slow and steady with lots of making out, fucking
me on my back, my legs wrapped around his waist.  Near the end he got close
 to another climax and switched from the slow and steady fucking to a heavy
breathing rabbit fuck that lasted thirty seconds with Willie crying out 'Oh
god... oh oh oh oh..." and his third climax joined the other two up my ass
with me stroking my boner wildly, trying to climax a third time too.  Some
wet spurt was my reward.  All in all, a great three-fuck night.  A great
night especially when I consider how nervous I was at the beginning of it
with my confession and all that. Willie drove me home saying complimentary
things to me. He talked on without ever saying anything about what a dope I
was to think it was fine for Willie to fuck with Larry and Carl and
Charles, but me fucking with Robbie was a crime.  He's always trying to
make me feel good about myself and I love him for that and for a lot of
other things too.  We kissed goodnight like lovers kiss and I didn't think
too much about the top being down.  I almost hoped I would get caught so my
 secret would be out in the open then and I'd be forced to deal with it.
As it was, I was still putting off telling anyone who didn't already know
that I was gay until... well, until I felt like telling someone.

After Willie drove off I tapped on Chubby's door but no one came so
obviously he was already sleeping.  Sometimes Chubby is watching TV in his
room or on his computer.  I never feel completely alright if I don't say
goodnight to Chubby, but what can I do.  Going to sleep that night I had no
need to jerk-off.  Willie had fucked me into a satisfied state of mind and
that's rare for a sex fiend like me. I thought a lot about Willie and how
he knows so much more about... well, about everything really.  Guess he's
had to be familiar with so many things due to his parent-less upbringing
and because he has almost always been on his own. He's made up his own
proper procedure for just about every circumstance where no one else has
taught him otherwise. I think it's sweet and cute he has his own code of
behavior for certain things.  I'm in love with him... or if it's not love,
I don't know what the fuck it could be.  Oddly, that thought had me
switching to think
 some about Robbie who I think I also love, but perhaps without the
intensity of Willie's and my love. Maybe that's because Robbie and me have
only been intimate recently and Willie and me have been boyfriends since
before the beginning of summer.  Then a thought... Oh shit!  that's right,
I need to confess to Robbie tomorrow too.  What I should do is a world
famous Chubby rationalization about not really needing to confess to
Robbie... afterall, Willie said I don't really have a dilemma, BUT not
confessing to Robbie would be more cheating.  I want a clear conscience
with both of them, and assuming the Robbie confession goes OK, then my only
remaining concern is being honest with Chubby about my sexuality. And that,
as I mentioned a minute ago, is on the back, back, back burner for now.
OK, today it's my Robbie confession and nothing else.  Oh god, I then
thought, he was so beautiful on that baseball diamond at the high school
Sunday bossing those kids
 around.  Wow! What a hard-ass he was. It was so funny to see, so
unexpected too, but it got my nuts to buzzing. Ohhhh, thinking of Robbie
fucking me is, hot, hot, hot. We'll need to see about the confession first.
You never know how someone will react.  In bed, that's the last thought I
remember having until Wednesday morning.

It was a beautiful Wednesday morning which made me think 'this afternoon
will be the last Dickers barbecue after work ever...  so, thank you God for
making to such a nice day'. But, oh yeah... I also need to confess to
Robbie, so that part of the day is going to suck. I'm not looking forward
to that except to get it over with and off my mind. Maybe I'll jump right
in with my confession before work starts, get it out of the way before the
barbecue.  I'd originally thought I'd need more time, but thinking back to
my confession to Willie made me think that there's plenty of time before
work to confess to Robbie.  During the bus ride to work this morning I
wasn't nearly as nervous as I was coming home from work on the bus last
night.  last night I was confessing to Willie and that made me ten times
more nervous then I am this morning thinking about confessing to
Robbie. I'm still in awe at how well Willie handled that entire awkward
situation yesterday.  I
 really do look up to him and feel so lucky to be his boyfriend.  Willie is
special in a number of ways.  On the other hand, nobody beats Robbie for
his looks and his hot body... wow, he is so fringin hot.  As soon as I got
to work I hustled down to find Robbie and there he was at his locker
standing in his jockey shorts only.  He was changing into his work clothes
of course. I say in a stage whisper, "Drop those shorts, kid... let's see
what ya got in there."  Robbie, trying not to grin, pulled his underwear
down to his knees and said, "Yes, sir.  It's just my four inch penis,
sir. Oh, and my sac of nuts too... and some random hairs, ya know" I go,
"Hmmmm, I might like to suck on all that later" and Robbie started playing
with himself, serious now, saying, "Oh my God, don't even say that Dylan or
I'll spring a boner".  It was getting stiff too, but I shook my head and
said, "Can I talk to you for a minute about something serious".  Robbie
pulled up his
 underwear and stepped into work shorts as he said, "Serious? What do ya
mean?"  I hugged him once around his neck, saying, "I really like you, I
mean love you. I wouldn't hurt you for the world if I could help it, but I
need to confess something that might hurt you some and I'm sorry as hell
about that. OK?"

Robbie sat down after my hug and said, "I really don't want to hear any bad
news right now, Dylan.  Things are going so perfectly between us, don't
tell me something bad".  Sitting next to him I said, "You know that kid,
Willie, the one I said I was, you know... I was gay with.  Well he and I
are lovers, not just casual sex buddies and it's only fair I tell you that.
Willie and I make serious sexual love together, not just goofing around
wacking each other off either".  Robbie goes, "Is that what you think you
and me do? Goofing around wacking each other off?  Don't we make sexual
love, or whatever kind you said you do with him?"  I put my arm around
Robbie's shoulders and said, "I didn't mean it like that.  You and me,
Robbie, we make sexual love with the best of them.  I'm trying to say I
have two lovers and I want my conscience clear so I confessed each of you
to the other.  Ya know what I mean?"  Robbie looked me in the eye for the
first time since
 I started this confession and says, "You mean you're not dumping me?  You
and me are still going to do our sex things together?"  I nodded my head
thinking to my self, he doesn't care either!  I'm the only one who thought
I was a two-timing slut whore etc etc.  Robbie says, "Excuse me Dylan, I
don't mean to be rude, but we aren't engaged or anything like that, ya
know" and he giggled a little and pinched my ear, then pulled it and smiled
some more.  He said, "We're good, right?"  I nodded 'yes' again, thinking
to myself, 'Self, you're an idiot.  Everyone knows we aren't engaged or
going steady but you... dummy!'  I said, "So you're not pissed off at me
for lying.  Lying by omission I mean, by not telling the whole truth about
Willie.  You're OK with me having two boyfriends?"  He goes, "I have many
more than two boyfriends" he was smirking when he said it and I replied,
"You know what I meant.  Not regular friends who are boys" and Robbie goes,
"I know
 what you meant, Dylan.  I'm jealous, not pissed-off. But you're so cute
Dylan, I never thought I'd have you all to myself. Anyway, what the hell do
I know about what gay boyfriends do or don't do, you're the first and only
person I've told I'm gay... I don't even know another gay person.  You're
the only gay boy I know, so I'm stuck with you.  Do we have time for you to
fuck me, ya think?" and more laughing from him now.  He seemed relieved,
relaxed... he seemed wonderfully like Robbie always seems with me.

Obviously, I'm off the hook that I was never on in the first
place... completely off scot-free from what only I imagined to be terrible
behavior.  I laughed then too, saying, "I'm such a jackass, Robbie. Both
you and Willie said basically the same thing.  Thank you, Robbie.  I love
you, dude."  Robbie and me did another quick hug and he added, "Did
whats-his-face also say he didn't want to hear about the other guy?"  I
nodded my head yes and Robbie goes, "Well then, we are both basically
saying the same thing.  I don't care to hear about whats-his-face and I'll
tell you something else, Dylan.  I'm going to win you from him, you'll
see."  A kiss on my cheek, of all things, with me thinking, 'this is maybe
a little more like that Robbie I saw on the baseball diamond Sunday, then
my usual Robbie.  This is the competitive, take charge Robbie... cool!'.
Robbie just might be an even bigger surprising delight then ever crossed my
mind.  This really rocks!  I
 was floating on air without my six hundred pound dilemma problem burdening
me down anymore. With each second I saw it all more clearly... I only had a
dilemma if I chose to have one.

We had our last barbecue at the Dickers with Robbie managing to come up
with a need for him and me to drive off in the pickup to get more propane
for the gas grille.  His father was amazed they needed it because a new
tank had been hooked up last week. "Someone, probably Dodger, didn't turn
the propane off when they were done grilling and all the gas evaporated.
No sweat, Dylan and me will drive down and get a refill" is what Robbie
said to his puzzled Dad.  Dodgers, in the background whining, "I did not
forget to turn off the goddamn gas...." which had his father going,
"Dodger! ... watch your language young man." We left chuckling as Chubby
called Dodger over to help set-up the ping-pong table while their dad was
scratching his head over the missing propane. Robbie and I only had time
for a quickie fuck that afternoon.  It started with Robbie sitting on my
dry boner over in the passenger seat and ended-up with me fucking him
wildly with both of us
 partially standing up in the pickup's cab, banging our heads on the
roof. Awkward, but any fuck is a good fuck.

Well, there it is... most of what happened to me the first summer after
discovering I was gay.  Whoa!  The most exciting summer of my life.  Now,
next week school starts and it will be a brand new experience.  Just being
a Senior, and therefore a big deal on campus, will be new.  Also I'm the
high school newspaper editor thanks to Carl who bribed me with that
position to get me to let him fuck me some more.  And, of course this is my
first full school year as an admitted gay.  Admitted to myself I mean.  I'm
a participating gay boy too, sexually speaking, and with two separate boys,
and loving it.  With one of my boyfriends I'm kind of submissive and with
the other I'm kind of dominant.  For me, it's been a six month learning
experience about what it means to be gay, and I've met some great boys
along the way too... and some mean dangerous older gay guys as well.  It's
not all peaches and cream being a new gay boy, but the creamy part with the
right boy
 is so excellent I can easily forget about the bad parts.  Chubby and I
will get our license the same week, next week, that we both turn eighteen
years old. Getting our drivers license at eighteen is humiliating so we
keep it under wraps as much as we can.  In a week or two we'll go with Tris
to buy our car in her name because we'll need to finance some of the
cost. Then we no longer will be walking anyplace at any time.

Many things are still a mystery to me.  I'm not sure what Chubby and Ricky
are up to, for example, but there are always some things that one never
finds out about, or maybe there's nothing to find out about in the first
place. Perhaps Chubby and Rickie are not up to anything, and a lot of
coincidental things have pointed incorrectly that they are.  And, maybe I
don't believe in coincidences and maybe Chubby will tell me about him and
Rickie and maybe I'll tell him about me and you-know-what too... maybe.
Meanwhile Chubby and I need to decide how much of our intimate routine we
can continue with and both be comfortable doing... the leg and crotch
shaving and the foot fetish stuff and laying together watching sports on TV
and the hugging every two minutes and jerking each other off... you know,
little things like that.  For me, I'd increase them all quite a bit, but
Chubby may not be gay at all or he may be gay a little or maybe he's not
sure or perhaps
 he's even bi and, whatever, he'll have a different opinion on the intimate
stuff we've grown up doing together... so, I truly don't know how it will
go, but I know I love Chubby like life itself.  Its a different kind of
love I have for him then for any other person I love... it's so much deeper
because Chubby and me have lived our lives together, almost as one.  We are
bound together at the heart for life, but it's just not clear at all if any
real sex will ever be involved.  But, hell... we're still seventeen, until
next week anyway, and there's a lot of life for us to live.

Learning I'm gay shouldn't have surprised me, but it did so who knows what
else I'll learn and be surprised about even though I shouldn't be... ya
know?  I know I'm lucky to have my main boys... Willie, Robbie and
especially Chubby, but I still wonder.... is there even more out there in
the world for me, is there more sex and more scary stuff and more from
Chubby even?  Could it be?  Well, for now my life is perfect, dude,
eighteen years old next week, drivers license in a couple of days, a car in
a couple of weeks, and my sex life is rocking!  I'm a lucky kid, and I know
it!


the end

Donny Mumford             thinat20@yahoo.com  (thanks Brandon!)

                       More Dylan?

This is "the end" for Dylan's dilemma, a dilemma, by the way, that Dylan
didn't actually have in the first place, except in his head. Hope you
enjoyed the story and if there is enough interest I was thinking maybe I'd
do a follow-up series titled "Dylan & Chubby's Senior Year" in high school.
See what these characters are up to going forward, and see who Dylan and
Chubby meets new along the way. If you're interested in being notified of a
new series should one develop please say so and I'll put you on that list.
Peace and happiness!