Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2008 07:58:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: DYLAN'S  DILEMMA   Part 2   by Donny Mumford

Oh my God, what a way to get my first blow-job, wow!
Walking home after it happened I'm thinking  like...
"Yeah, wow, but still... what to make of it".  I mean,
a hot looking, young, married Marine sucking me off?
Who would ever expect that?  It certainly was a great
blow-job though,  and surely not his first.  On the
other hand, how do I know it was a "great" one... it's
the only one I've ever had... but, come on, I can't
imagine how it could be done much better.

The sun was unusually hot for this time of year...
jogging slowly across the parking lot to the front of
the building I realized I was wicked thirsty.
Unfortunately, I'd used my bottled water washing the
Marine's cum off my leg.  So, no choice but to pay two
dollars for a bottle of water here at the Supermarket.
 Sweaty and disheveled, I went in, bought the water
and hustled right back out again...  then drank it in
less than a minute.  I'm not really into recycling yet
so I chucked the bottle into a trash barrel wondering,
why the hell do they charge two dollars for a bottle
of water... answer, because they can.  Fuck, money is
always an issue with me... I should have left the cum
on my leg and drank the original bottle of water,
that's what I shoulda done.  I'm a great one for
figuring out what "I shoulda done"... Monday morning
quarterback, that's me.

Along the way home I thought about the young Marine
some more.  It's the tattoo on his arm that makes me
think he's a Marine.  It read, "SEMPER FI".  My
grandfather was a Marine so I know "Semper Fi" is
short for "Semper Fidelis" which is Latin for "always
faithful".    The Marines maybe don't think of it as
"always faithful", but it has to be something like
that.  Getting my first blow-job from a Marine is
definitely the last thing you'd ever expect, and a
married Marine at that.... I'm back to thinking about
that again.   Hey, it's a mind-blowing concept.

Then I thought of the fuss he made over me... about my
looks and all.  He said I was very special, like some
Adonis or something.  Well, no... he didn't use that
word and I guess he didn't say "very special"... just
"special". Whatever, from a Marine... not too bad.  In
retrospect, every single thing about that entire
affair was unexpected.  He said I "was prettier than
his wife" and that I have a good body too?   My body
is something that never occurs to me although I have
been noticing Chubby's body a lot lately.

Waiting for a traffic light to change, I made a muscle
and looked at my bicep thinking,  he said I have good
"guns" too.  Humph, I never even noticed them before.
Then I glanced across the street to see two teenage
girls looking at me,  giggling like only girls can
giggle.  The one who looked like Olive Oil imitated me
making a muscle,  and the one that looked like Mrs
Porky Pig pretended to feel it and they both giggled
some more.  Just what I needed.  My face burst into
flames as I hurriedly walked further on down the
block.  I'll  cross the street at the next traffic
light... away from those laughing female
cartoon-characters.

Those girls made me go out of my way, god damnit!  Now
I'll need to walk down busy Main Street to connect-up
with my original way home.  This is not a real
familiar area to me, it's leading me to downtown
Framingham. Wicked busy intersection... I walked
around a corner there it was staring me in the face.
A big Marine recruiting sign over the third shop in a
block-long stretch of attached stores.  Barbershop,
then a dry cleaners, and then the recruiting office.
My Marine might works out of that very office.  I
looked in through the plate glass window as I walked
by...  two Marines, behind two desks, talking to two
tough looking kids.  One of the Marines looked up, saw
me staring, smiled and waved his hand for me to come
in.  I started jogging again, my heart pounding... get
the fuck away from there.

I went back to contemplating my weird afternoon... it
surprises the hell out of me that ANY married man
would want to do gay stuff, like sucking my dick....
never mind a married Marine.  Something this bizarre
makes me wonder what's going to happen to me next?
First... weird, fat Carl fucking me and now this
Marine sucks my dick... twilight zone material.  Then
I tried to evaluate... overall, what do I think about
that experience in the woods?  Mixed feelings, is what
I came up with.  I'm conflicted, for sure.  On the one
hand, the blow-job felt fantastic, something totally
new to me... on the other hand, I hadn't had any say
in the matter.  It was kind of like a rape... if
blow-jobs count as rape.   Man, I gotta admit
though... it did feel mighty good around my balls and
especially the head of my cock.  Wonder if I'm going
to be brave enough, or should I say, stupid enough, to
go back for more on Friday?  That's the big question.
 Shit! I don't know the answer.

Just thinking about meeting him Friday gave me a funny
buzzing sensation low in my belly and, whoa! a shiver
too.  Wish I could talk about this with someone.
Should I call, Carl?  He said he's my mentor. No,
that's stupid... I don't want to start up with that
tub-of-lard again.  And, no way I'm bringing this up
to Chubby.   I wish Chubby had never gotten that
window washing job in the first place.  We need to be
together like we use to be... do everything together,
just Chubby and me.  The Marine thing would never have
happened if there had been two of us at the rest area.


Unfortunately, Chubby isn't likely to go back to our
old schedule... he likes his new schedule too much.
Sure, his fingers ache, but he said he's use to it by
now.  "All the guys get use to it", he says.  Well,
goody for them, is what I say!  He says,  "no one is a
pussy about a little ache or pain every now and then".
  Whoop-dee-do, is what I say.. how fucking macho!
Those are the sort of things Chubby's been telling me
lately and, frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it.
Also, he's been saying how funny his homeroom buddy
Ricky is... and how the two of them "did this or that
on the job together" ... oh brother!  Like I give a
shit.  Sure, Ricky's dad could get Chubby that job,
but couldn't get one for me.  That's very suspicious
... could it be that Ricky wants Chubby all to
himself?  Oh man!  I sound like such a loser.

Taking a deep breath and starting to jog the last half
mile home, my mind kept going back to the Marine.
Jesus! is that guy something.  Those eyes of his are
so blue, and that body of his is hard as a barbell.  I
felt under my chin with the back of my hand
remembering his hairy arm under there holding me up
against him... and that breathless voice of his.  Is
it scary or sexy?  Damn if I know... both I guess.  I
know one thing for sure... I can't remember ever
shooting off a load like the one I shot in his mouth.
Whoa, I almost passed out... and he kept sucking my
cock afterward too?  Give me a break... awesome
feeling!   Here's another thing I know for sure...
I've never seen as much cum at one time, at one place,
as that Marine shot on my leg.  Good God, that's
Guinness Book of World record stuff.

That hairy arm of his felt so... I don't know, tough
or something.  Wonder what those muscle-bound hairy
legs would feel like wrapped around me the way Chubby
wraps his hairless ones around me when we wrestle.
All that squiggly Marine leg hair.  And I know I
already went over this in my head... but, he really
thought I was something.. something "special", he
said.  I was actually feeling kind of proud of myself
standing there in front of him...  up real straight,
unafraid,  while he examined me.  Well, not totally
unafraid, but I stood there.  Bizarre experience, but
it happened.  He said I was "special" more than one
time I think, not that it matters all that much what
he thinks.

I jogged around Pleasant Street, onto Oak, and finally
there was our two-decker duplex.  It's one of six
matching, two-decker, duplexes in a row.  They're old,
but it's been home-sweet-home for the last thirteen
years.  Wish the Murphy boys would stop parking that
piece of shit pick-up truck on their front yard... it
makes the neighborhood look trashy.  Oh, what do I
care. Chubby won't be home from work until around six
o'clock, but both Mom and Tris, who's Chubby's Mom,
were home.  They were in our first floor unit chatting
away. Tris and Chubby live on the second floor right
over my Mom and me.  Cosy, huh?

"Dylan, your face is very red and sweaty, honey.  It's
too hot for you to be running forty miles or how ever
far it is that you run every day."  My Mom could find
something to worry about while winning the lottery.  I
say, "It's nice to see you too, Mom" and then kiss her
on the cheek.  Tris smiles and squeezes the back of my
neck... I say, " Hi, Tris!"  Mom and Tris have been
best friends forever, just like Chubby and me.  As
usual,  we talked about things for a half hour or
so... both the Moms are fun and very supportive of us
boys.

Mom, Tris, and me talked as I drank a quart of red
Gatorade.  The two moms were so proud of Chubby for
getting that job and "blab, blab, blab" about that.
Oh my, he's such a hard working kid and "blab, blab,
blab".  This is a boring conversation today.  Then Mom
asked about a test I had in biology...I got a 95 in
that test, which impressed both of them...  and Tris
told me I was looking so handsome lately and she went
on to say she loved the way I cut Chubby's hair last
time,        "what do ya call that short style,
Dylan?"... I told her it was my variation "of a burr
haircut" and then she told me that I'm very talented,
so our conversation was getting much more enjoyable of
late.

The three of us decided we had to get to the Cape this
summer for vacation and the Moms were going to begin
looking "on-line" for rental places in Falmouth this
weekend.  It was the same as it always is at this time
of the day, except he wasn't here.  It use to be all
four of us talking about our day... now it's just all
three of us and it's only about seventy-five percent
as good as it use to be, if ya ask me.  Guess you
could say I'm missing Chubby.

My Mom and Tris left for work about three-thirty.
They start work at 4pm everyday, except Sundays.  Both
are waitresses at Renny's Bar and Grille Restaurant,
working mostly in the bar section.  The two of them
work together, just like Chubby and me had planned to
work together... except that fucker, Ricky, has upset
our plans.  I know I've already covered this topic,
but balls! ... that homeroom homo gets his father to
sneak Chubby on the job ahead of about ten other guys
in front of him on a waiting list... and leaving me
behind too, of course. Not that I'm going to mope
about this old news the rest of my life, but it does
piss me off.  Man! I get started talking about an
injustice and  I won't let it go.

Oh, the hell with them all!  I got a CD going... my
latest favorite is Ben's Brother.  That's a five-man
rock band from London,  England.  Jamie Hartman's the
lead singer... his description of his approach to life
is..  "stoicism in the face of insecurity".. that's
cool!  Listening to their hit "Stuttering", I thought
some more about my Marine.  Holy shit... I said, "my"
Marine again.  Ha ha, maybe I will see him on Friday
after all.  I don't have a whole lot of anything else
going for me.  I still can't get over that blow-job...
it blows my mind!

Thinking again about those hairy arms and legs of his,
they really intrigued me... maybe because Chubby and I
have no hair on our arms and we shave our legs.  The
leg shaving goes way back and as a matter of fact
we're due for that tonight or tomorrow night.  Hmmmm,
how can I bring up "shaved pubes" with Chubby.
That's right, my Marine told me to have mine shaved...
shaved smooth, except for a little half round patch
above my dick,  and those can't be longer than half an
inch.  I think that's what he told me.

I'm going to do it because at least he appreciates
me... and I wouldn't mind getting sucked off again
either.  Damn, now that I'm committed in my mind to
being with him again, I'm starting to feel real
excited and real nervous at the same time.... it's
scary, is what it is.  Not  knowing what he might do
next is an intriguing kind of anticipation... sort of
a thrill ride, like a roller coaster.  He said he was
going to treat me "special"... or something like that.
 And, how about the bossy way he way he said, "you
need to come over to that bench with me".  Ooooh, that
thought is giving me a hard-on.  Into the bathroom I
go, Vaseline on my finger so I can finger my hole
while jerking off... and the whole time I fantasize
that it's my Marine who's fucking me today ...  using
that eight inch boner of his.

Oh God, this is hot!  Not being circumcised makes it
so excellent to masturbate.  The foreskin is a
self-lubing sheath that creates this constant tingly
feeling the length of my prick and then all over my
body.  I start off with slow strokes and increase the
speed as I go, same for fingering my hole.  It feels
so good and makes me stroke my cock faster and faster
and faster, all the time fantasizing that my finger is
the Marine's cock, my foreskin gliding on and off the
head of my swollen penis... "ahhhh", before long I
grimace and grunt while forcing out a hard splat of
spunk... it splattered on the mirror over the sink.
Holy shit! I never reached the mirror with a cum shot
before.  God! that felt so good!  I can't stop so I
slow down with the stroking gradually over the next
minute.... thinking all the while, "my fist is around
my dick, and my dick is covered with the Marine's
dried saliva, dried spit.  Oooooh... damn, he was
something alright... the head of my boner in his
freaking throat?"  Come on!  That was so hot!.

My heart pumping hard and me taking fast, short
breaths because that was a primo wack-off I just had.
But then , shortly after I felt this huge let-down,
kind of a depressed feeling, thinking about how I was
used by him.  He never asked if anything was "OK"...
he just did what he wanted, never mind if I wanted it.
 I felt used... what can I say.  I felt kind of
pathetic, to be honest.  For the next couple of hours
I moped around the duplex thinking about that and, at
the same time,  wishing Chubby would get home.  Bored,
 but curious, I pulled down my running shorts and
jockstrap to look at my pubes.  Regular pubes, dark
blond.  I have light blond hair, but dark blond pubes.
 I ran my fingers through them thinking, I can do
without these.

Then I was back to thinking about him sucking my cock
again, and I also daydreamed a little about how good
it felt when fat Carl first started fucking me.  I was
trying to remember if my climax was better from Carl's
fuck, or from the Marine's blow-job.  I'm sure it was
the blow-job, but to Carl's credit, I didn't feel
particularly used by him... like I feel about the
Marine.  Laying around the family room thinking about
these things until I glanced up and saw it was
six-thirty.  Six-thirty?   Chubby was always home by
six o'clock.  What the fuck is this all about?  I
wandered over and looked down the street in the
direction Chubby walks home from... no one in sight.

This is curious.  Going outside to smoke a cigarette
and to fret about where he might be.  Angry that I
didn't even have a phone number to call to see if he's
maybe working late.  I got scared thinking maybe he
ran into the Chavez brothers or turds from their high
school drop-out posse. Telling myself there was surely
a harmless explanation for Chubby being late, I went
back inside and got our dinner out of the freezer and
got it ready for the microwave.  Chubby likes salads
so I made one and kept it in the refrigerator to stay
crisp... ya know, trying to keep busy.

He still wasn't home by seven o'clock.  This is too
much!  I know I'm not suppose to, but I called Renny's
restaurant and talked to my Mom, "Chubby isn't home
yet, Mom.  I'm worried."  She said, "Sweetheart,
you're not suppose to call here unless it's a major,
major, major crisis...we've talked about that.  I'll
get in trouble.  Renny hates us getting personal phone
calls at work.  Run on down to the window washing shop
thingie over on Pollard St and see what's up.  OK?".
That's what I was going to do when Chubby walked in
the door all smiles.

He had his latest-best-friend, Ricky, with him.
Looking at the food I had ready for the microwave,
Chubby says, "Oh, dude, you haven't eaten yet?  What's
up with that, it's after seven, right?  I already ate
with Ricky." I looked from Chubby to Ricky getting
pissed-off at Chubby's flip manner.  He doesn't
normally talk like that.  Chubby rubbed the top of
Ricky's head and said, "Ricky wants me to give him a
buzzcut.  We'll be in the basement.  Enjoy your
dinner."  I stared with my mouth hanging open.... the
fucking gall of that entrance ... so unfair, so rude!
And the nerve of using my basement to give that
dickhead a haircut.

Then Chubby stops at the door to the cellar and says,
"Oh fuck, sorry.  Ricky this is Dylan Newman, Dylan..
Ricky Ortiz."  Ricky was about as tall as me, but
bigger... like a football player, not bigger like a
fatso.  He was nice looking in a macho way... looked
older than Chubby and me.  Raggedy buzzed brown hair
that did need cutting and nice regular facial
features... handsome actually.  Something... skin tone
maybe, made me think he might be Hispanic... well,
yeah..duh! and his last name too.

Ricky came over to shake hands briefly and in a flat,
fast manner said, " Yeah, nice to meet ya.  My main
man Jeff says you're cool so any friend of  Jeffrey's
is a friend of mine."  He had a quick, firm handshake.
 I said, "How ya doing?"  and , that was it... Chubby
took Ricky downstairs to give him a haircut.  "My main
man, Jeff" ... "Jeffrey"?  What a fucking phony!
Nobody calls Chubby.. "Jeffrey".  Sure, that's his
name, but it's never used.  Well, I guess the teachers
at school use it... but, not friends.  What a jerk-off
that guy is!

After cooking the chicken and noodle casserole dinner
in the microwave, I realized I'd lost my appetite.
Neither Chubby nor I have ever just walked in the
house with a stranger before.  And, the fucking nerve
saying, "Dude, you haven't eaten yet?".  What a prick
Chubby is becoming, saying something like that... we
always wait for each other to eat together.  And,
what's all that laughing and giggling downstairs all
about?  I go over to the doorway and shout down,
"Chubby, we've got homework to do."  No response for a
few seconds, and then in a voice that was half
giggling and half trying to sound serious, Chubby
yelled back up, "I did mine in study hall, Dylan.
Sorry, forgot to tell you" and then they both burst
out in laughter again as Ricky screamed, "OK, Jeffrey,
you're getting the same."  I slammed the cellar door,
went in my bedroom and got out my homework.

God damn, but I was all worked up.  A lot of different
emotions were percolating in my head,  making me very
upset.  Is it fear I feel.  Is it that I'm afraid I've
lost the place in Chubby's life that I use to have.  I
thought I was always kind of the stable, steady one
between the two of us... and Chubby played the funny,
side-kick role.  Is that how I really saw it?  Is that
how it actually was, or was that just in my head?
Well it's not like that anymore, in either case...
he's more or less abandoned me.  I guess I'm not
worthy ... I can't get him a nine-dollar-an-hour job
and introduce him to all those new "cool" asshole
friends.

The anger, no it's more than anger... it's like a
rage.  My rage at how unfair Chubby is being... it
makes me feel sick to my stomach... powerless too.
Let's face it, he's betrayed me... we always stuck
together and now he laughs at me.  Then I thought,
"Fuck!  This is a childish outburst!  I need to admit
I'm not thinking sensibly".  The reality of this is
that I'm crazy jealous Chubby has another best friend
and that he's doing stuff with him and not with me.
That's the simply truth of the matter.  I'm green with
envy and I suck for being so "small minded" about it.
 And, I might as well get ready for things to get
worse too.  I don't have any other friends, how could
I made friends when I spent every second with
Chubby... listening to all that crazy shit he's always
saying, all his factoids...   Oh my God, I have the
worse headache!

After taking three Tylenol I laid down on my bed and
tried to make myself calm down..."try to think
straight and make some fucking sense!"    Chubby and
me have too much history together to just split as
friends.  He has no intention of doing that, I'm being
paranoid... so he has another friend, so what.
Christ, did I think I'd be the only friend he ever has
his entire life.  Get real, Dylan... grow up man!  I
needed this good hard talking to myself and I'm
feeling a little better after it...  I feel more
mature too.  Then I thought,  "Man oh man, what a
difference five hours can make.  Five hours ago I was
getting my dick sucked for the first time ever... and
now, I don't know what to call this thing thats
happening to me now, but I know it's fucked-up, thats
for god damn sure.

Getting off the bed with a purpose now I completed a
paper for English and then went in the kitchen for a
drink just as Chubby and Ricky came thundering up the
cellar steps giggling like they were ten years old.
Ricky popped through the kitchen door first.  My mouth
dropped open... his head was almost shaved.  Maybe a
sixteenth of an inch of hair...  then a giggling
Chubby hopped in the kitchen and went, "Ta da!" ...
his head was the same.  An enormous new flood of
jealousy blackened my brain.... Chubby and I cut each
others hair, not that freak, Ricky.  This incompetent
dork, Ricky, cut off the nice burr haircut I'd just
given Chubby?  I was speechless with a new, higher
level of rage then before.  My face was dark red, my
eyes blinking wildly.

"How do you like our new look, Dylan?" Chubby
laughingly asked.  "We were goofing around and I got
the wrong fucking attachment on the clippers when I
was cutting Ricky's hair... I started laughing so
hard... he looked so funny with that bald strip down
the middle of his head.  Oh my God, I couldn't stop
laughing and then Ricky got me in a headlock and
returned the favor."  They put their arms around each
others shoulders, Ricky leaning down to Dylan's size
to put their heads together... then Ricky says, "What
should we call this look, Newman?  What do ya think?"

I've never had a feeling like this before in my
life... I was hating on Ricky with all my heart and
soul.   Chubby saw the expression on my face and
stopped laughing long enough to say, "Don't lay an egg
Dylan, for Christ sake, it's just hair.  It'll grow
back in a couple of weeks."  Then to Ricky, with a
chuckle...  "But, ya know... I kind of like it.   What
do you think, Ricky?"  Ricky said, "Yeah, we'll do
each other every week... see if the rest of the guys
on the crew want to do it too.  This is soooo cool.
The "window-cleaners-haircut"... that's what we'll
call it.  Invented by Jeffery Chubby Romero."

Ignoring me completely now, Chubby got them both a
coke and then they patted each other on the back and
rubbed each others almost bald heads.  Their laughing
was grating on my nerves till I thought I'd die.  I
said, "I'm trying to do homework, so if you two
braying jackasses don't mind, take this silly shit up
to your place,  Jeffrey".  I may have said it in a
very nasty way too.  Chubby stopped cold and stared at
me, I've never called him Jeffrey before  ... slowly
shaking his head side to side before saying, with real
concern in his voice this time,  "Don't be so upset,
Dylan.  We're just goofing around.  You don't look too
good. Are you alright?"

I pouted like a toddler and Chubby said, "Hey Ricky,
how about we call it a night.  I'll see you tomorrow
in homeroom. OK, dude?"  Ricky had a strange look on
his face... sort of staring at me, he mumbled, "Fuck!
Sure, Jeff..."  Then he hesitated, his face got red,
like mine, and he snarled out, " What, ya got your
period or something, Newman?  We didn't do nothing
against you, man.  Fact is, it ain't got nothing to do
with you at all... this ain't none of your business.
You fucking need to chill."  I couldn't help myself...
I screamed, "Get the fuck out of here!"  My face was
purple with rage, the vein pulsing at the side of my
forehead. I can never remember hating anyone like I
hated him... ever.

It was a dizzy, sick-to-my-stomach feeling.  As soon
as I screamed at him Ricky took two steps over to me,
grabbed the front of my T shirt, twisting it in his
fist, while pulling back his other fist ready to throw
a punch...  Chubby yelled,  "NO!  Don't hit him!"...
Chubby threw himself kind of halfway in between Ricky
and me, facing Ricky.  "Let go of him, Ricky! He
didn't do nothing."  Ricky looked at Chubby with a
frown and pushed me away, ripping my T shirt, saying,
"You're lucky you got your body guard with ya,
asshole, or I'd knock your smartass teeth down your
throat.  Don't ever scream at me again ya skinny
fucking fairy." I yelled back, "You're fucking postal,
Ortiz!  Get some professional help."

Chubby, with a hand on both Ricky's and my chest,
said, "Calm the fuck down down, Dylan" and to Ricky,
in a mild manner he said,  "Dylan's OK, I told ya that
already, Ricky.  He's cool, he's my numero uno home
boy.  Stop calling him names.  OK?"  And then in an
even more reconciling manner to Ricky, he added, "Come
on dude, save your energy for the freaking windows.
You know we got to do that fucking Morris place
tomorrow and it's got more windows then the Pentagon".
 He was ushering Ricky toward the front door as he
talked.  Ricky looking back at me with hatred in his
eyes, but saying nothing.  Chubby  followed Ricky out.


Taking a huge breath, then thinking, "That went pretty
well",  another big breath and the reality of it all
was in my last thought, "There goes any chance I ever
had of working for his father this summer, his father
who just happens to be the foreman for the window
washing company..  guess me and Chubby won't be
partners on that job any time soon.  FUCK!"    Then,
curious, I peeked through the front window  and
watched Chubby animatedly explain something to Ricky
who finally threw his hands up in the air like he
surrendered  and then he and Chub did a quick one arm
hug and rubbed each others newly barbered heads again.
 I gaged at that as Ricky got into a gray Plymouth SUV
and drove away.  Chubby turned to come back up the
steps to the front door and I hustled down the hall to
my bedroom and slammed the door.

Chubby came in the house and called my name quietly
outside my door a few times, but I was too humiliated
to have a conversation with him.  I just said, "I told
you already, I gotta do my homework". He said, "I'm
sorry for that performance of Ortiz's, Dylan.  He's
got a wicked bad temper.  See ya in the morning.  Your
turn for the cigarettes, OK?"  Still feeling sick to
my stomach,  I didn't say anything.    A short while
later I heard him quietly go out my front door and
into the foyer where steps led up to his front door on
the second floor.  I felt like crying... well,
actually,  I was crying.

The crying didn't last long because I gave myself
another tough talking to.  Recognizing that I'm acting
wicked jealous and, admitting that fact actually
helped me get back to rational thinking.  All the
emotions involved in jealousy are exhausting, believe
me.  That feeling of fear... fear that something so
important to you has been lost forever, or that
something unspecified, but equally important, will now
never be known... it's all about fear, basically.
Maybe jealously is tied into that thing we learned in
biology.. it's called a "fight or flight" response ..
feeling like your very survival is being threatened...
metaphorically speaking, where friendship and lovers
are concerned.  That's what you feel when someone so
important in your life seems to be leaving you behind
for someone else.  Jealousy is a bitch!

Thursday morning I woke up feeling drugged or
hung-over or both and it made me think briefly of one
day last summer.  While just kickin, Chubby and I
stumbled upon an unopened bottle of vodka. Chubby
looked at me with his eyes opened wide and a grin on
his lips and said, "Butter!".  The bottle was just
sitting there in a shopping cart wrapped in a paper
bag.  Someone, in a hurry, loaded their car from the
shopping cart, but left one skinny bag behind.  That
afternoon we drank too much of the vodka, with
lemonade, and got drunk... then sick.  Naturally,
later we threw-up, and woke up the next day feeling
like I do today... hung-over.  And, that's not
butter!!... that sucks!

On a brighter note, today was a nice weather day...
sunny and warm, so I dressed for a summer day in May.
 Pleated Dockers khaki shorts and a T shirt.  Printed
on the front of my T shirt was,  "SARCASM...just one
more service we offer".  It was the logo for a joke
shop on the boardwalk at Wildwood, New Jersey.  The
four of us spent two weeks in Wildwood last summer.
Probably not this year though because, like I
mentioned earlier, this year we're thinking about Cape
Cod for our two weeks vacation. To complete my routine
of getting ready for school, I brushed my teeth and
then spiked my hair with some "electric blue...hot
head spike'n" ... doing everything this morning like I
was a robot.

My brain and body were functioning in slow motion as I
ambled aimlessly around the kitchen.  Mom sleeps in
because she gets home from work late...  around one
AM.  Finally I got myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes and
a glass of cherry Koolaid.  Nothing like a healthy
breakfast... "most important meal of the day", someone
once said that, I think. Finished and ready to leave,
I peeked outside through the family room window and
there was Chubby waiting for me, just like it was a
regular morning.  Feeling embarrassed at how I behaved
last night and not knowing how to approach Chubby I
hesitated going out.  Then I noticed he was wearing
his Red Sox baseball cap... that's good, I won't have
to look at that hideous haircut at least.... a peace
offering?  He was also wearing Nike volley shorts and
a bright orange T shirt that offered this bit of
advise in big blue letters.. "PROCRASTINATE NOW!"

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to face the
world.  Chubby was real subdued and just said, "Hi,
Dylan."  I returned the "Hi" and we started walking in
silence.  We walked the first six blocks, then right
on schedule I pulled out a Marlboro Light cigarette...
lit it, took a drag and passed it to Chubby who took a
drag, lipping it as usual, and passed it back to me.
When we'd finished the cigarette, Chubby flicked the
butt halfway across the street and said, "OK, Dylan,
I'll start.   I'm sorry I brought Ricky to your place
last night and I'm really, really sorry about him
cutting off all my hair.  Especially because of that
cool burr haircut you gave me.  Mom's going to be
pissed off at me, she liked that haircut of your's.
She told me so.  I promise, from this day on, only you
can cut my hair and no more surprise guests at home.
OK, Dylan?"

He punched my arm lightly and added, "You're not going
to be mad at me all day, are you?  I can't stand it
when you're mad at me, Dylan."  I mumbled, "I'm such a
baby sometimes.  Shit, Chubby, I'm sorry about how I
acted last night too." and we stopped walking then so
we could do a quick one arm hug with two pats on each
others back.  Chubby said, "That's a start, but come
on and do what you always do" and he lifted my arm and
pulled it around his neck.  It made me smile and I
hugged him around his neck while Chubby added, "What
do ya always say, Dylan?  Come on, dude." and I said,
"I love ya, bro" and hugged his neck again.  "There...
all better now?" Chubby asked and I nodded my head,
smiling openly now.  With Chubby it's easy to smile.
We walked a little further and it just occurred to me,
so I told Chubby, "Oh fuck, you know what?  Ever since
that fight with the Chavez brothers you and I have
done a complete role reversal on each other.  Total
role reversal."

Chubby looked concerned for a second and then said, "I
have no fucking idea what that means, but if you say
it's so... it's fine with me".  I looked at him and he
put such a cute grin on his face I had to smile back
some more. All of a sudden I felt so close to him.
Chubby punched my arm again and said in a serious way,
"We're unlucky in one way for sure though, you and
me."  When I asked  why, he says, "We don't have any
hair on our chest.  Guys with hairless chest are more
likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with
hairy chest."  Another one of Chubby's off-the-wall
factoids.

He always gets me with those things because they're
totally unexpected non sequiturs. I recovered and
said, "Hmmm. I think it's necessary that a person
first drink at least a fifth of gin every day for
twenty years, PLUS have no hair on his chest, before
he can get cirrhosis."  Chubby said, "No shit.  Seems
like a lot of gin." and we lit our second of two
morning walking-to-school cigarettes.   What a
beautiful morning, I was feeling much better about
life.

Chubby and I only have one class together so I don't
see a lot of him during the day.  I thought a lot
about him though, today particularly.  Chubby is
growing-up and making friends and doing other stuff...
but even so, I can see our friendship bond is still
wicked strong in spite of that, and maybe stronger
because of that.  It was time I try making another
friend or two myself... expanding my horizons or some
such thing.

It didn't take me more than a second to think of the
guy I'd like to get to know better... definitely, Rob
Dickers.  He's in two of my classes and we have the
same lunch period, and his locker is near mine... so I
see quite a bit of him.  We're casual acquaintances...
friendly, but not buddies.  Since I'm now the senior
editor for the school newspaper, maybe I can somehow
use that to open a little conversation with Rob.  I'll
give it some thought during Geometry class... anything
to avoid thinking about geometry is a good thing.

There's this little thing that he's totally unaware
of... I've had sort of a crush on him since the
beginning of the school year.  And it's funny, but
before fat Carl sort of "outed" me to myself,  I'd
never considered my interest in Rob as a  "crush".  In
those olden days, I told myself merely that Rob was
just a quiet, shy kid who might make a nice friend.
Now I think I'd like to get a fist full of that crazy
hairdo of his and see what that silky looking stuff
feels like, or maybe see how his face feels against my
face... things like that.  So, obviously I'd like him
to be more than just a friend... being a "friend" is a
good place to start though.

Rob is our high school baseball team's second
baseman... I know that much, and I know he's a pretty
good student too, but other than those two things, I
don't know much else.  Well, ha ha... I mean,
obviously I know what he looks like.  He's my size,
which is five foot, ten inches tall and slim, about a
hundred and thirty pounds.  Also like me, he has light
blond hair, except his is curly and longish... almost
like a soft, light blond, Afro hairdo.  The thing I
like most about his face is his mouth.  It's super
cute, like a little kid's.  The nicest bow shaped lips
I can ever remember seeing... and dimples that show-up
with almost any facial movement... like I said, cute.
That's a new concept for me where guys are
concerned... thinking they're cute.  It's new, but a
lot of fun to check out the boys and evaluate their
looks.

Some guys seem to have ultra pink tongues and gums and
all the stuff inside their mouth...  Rob's like that.
Then there's his very white teeth, which look kinda
thin, you know... as opposed to big teeth,  and the
tops ones are slightly separated.  I don't know why
exactly, but  everything together makes his grin look
like a little boy's grin.  That's what he looks like
when you can get him to grin... like some little kid
caught stealing a cookie or something.  He gives that
little grin and then he looks away.   Oh, and did I
mention, he's very shy.  I'm not really an outgoing
kid myself, but I seem like a "Mr Personality,
extrovert" compared to Rob.

Now that I've been thinking about Rob, something
occurs to me for the very first time...  what I
actually would most like to do is kiss Rob on that
sweet mouth of his.  Damn, that's freaky because I
couldn't stand even the thought of kissing Carl... or
any other boy, until now... just Rob.  The fact that I
want to do it surprises the hell out of me.  Oh my
God, so many new things in my life lately.  Carl saw
my gayness before I did and he's done me a big favor
by accelerating my acceptance of it... of my sexual
nature.  It was always there in my subconscious mind I
suppose, but I was denying it in my conscious mind...
or something like that.

I guess everyone eventually recognizes their true
self... different people, at different ages.  And,
maybe some aren't able to act upon it right away.. it
being more of a case of happenstance and I gotta admit
that was my situation.  Carl pushed me into
recognizing "it" in myself, much more that me acting
upon "it" on my own.  Yeah, that fat Carl also
predicted I'd be seeing things the way I'm now
beginning to see them too...boys being cute, for
example.   So I gotta give him his props, he's smarter
than I thought he was... about this gay stuff anyway.
I didn't treat Carl with the respect he deserved.
Instead, I took him for granted and thought of him as
a bit of a dork... I should have been paying more
attention to him and I should of been saying "thank
you, Carl" more often.

Geometry class was half over and I hadn't come up with
a plan that would let me easily open a dialogue with
Rob yet.  Maybe because I keep thinking about Carl or
because I keep going back to thinking about Chubby and
me and that strange thing about us changing roles.  It
has to do with my gayness also... not too long ago, I
was sure Chubby was gay, and I didn't know what I was.
 And now, I'm sure I'm gay and I don't know what
Chubby is. The fact is, Carl and I are the only ones
in the world who know I'm gay and Carl is the only gay
person I know.  Know for sure is gay, Chubby is still
a suspect...

Then I thought about that horror show with Ricky Ortiz
last night.  It was the first time in my life that me
and Chubby had ever actually been on opposite sides of
something, of anything ... except, as it turned out,
we weren't.  Chubby was on my side when it counted the
most, he stood up for me... not that shitbag, Ricky.
I felt real good about that last night and even feel
better about it today when everything has had a chance
to sink in. Well, now Geometry class is over and I'd
thought about everything except what I wanted to think
about... starting a conversation with Rob.

The school day ground to a halt finally.  I was at my
locker putting books away, still without a plan for
Rob when here he comes down the hall.  He's walking
with a couple of guys and, as usual, he isn't saying
anything.  Rob is popular, most members of Varsity
sports teams are,  but he's very quiet and unassuming
too.  Like I said, shy.  Funny how some kids are so
shy... it must be in their genes.  Looking at him and
thinking again, "he's cute".

It amazing to realize that I really am gay... it's
still a very new concept to me.  And, the fact that
I'm thinking like a "gay" boy is different now too.  A
totally new realization about myself and a little bit
of a scary one sometimes because I get to feeling kind
of alone with it.  Also, I find myself wondering how
come I didn't realize all this earlier in life?
That's something to ponder another time perhaps,
because right now...   what to do now about Rob?
There he is two lockers down from me, and he's finally
alone.  I try for cool with... "Hi, Rob...wassup?"
He sticks with being shy and, without actually looking
at me, says in a quiet voice,  "Oh, Hi Dylan. Gee, I
meant to congratulate you a while back... you know,
when I heard you'd gotten the senior editor's
position.  You write good and you deserve the
position.. congratulations."

That was a long speech for Rob, and unexpected.  I
thanked him and came up with an idea on the spot, just
like that!   "Hey Rob, would you be interested in
being a reporter for the newspaper next year?"  He
closed his locker and came over to lean against my
open locker door as I was jamming my back pack inside.
 Up close, his blue eyes looked like there was a light
shining behind each one, his eyebrows were very light
and perfectly shaped.  Very healthy looking,
pinkish-white skin, completely smooth... he  has that
blotch of dark, rosy  pink on each cheek that is rare
for guys.  And, this is crazy, but I stared at his
hairline too... it's so perfectly straight, following
the contour of his forehead... his hair above it was
full bodied and shining,  so clean.  In fact, that's
the over all impression I got... Rob was ultra clean,
it's like he's brand new.  He said, "What's wrong?"
when he noticed me staring at him, my mouth slightly
open.

I shook my head,  said, "Ha ha, sorry, Rob... I space
out sometimes."  I told him what I had in mind for his
reporter's job next year, "Ya know, about twenty
percent of the senior class is on a varsity sports
team, right?  And, I thought it would be interesting
if the other eighty percent of us got an inside look
at how the elite twenty percent see things here at
school.  What's it like looking through the eyes of a
student athlete.  Ya know, this would be for next
year, as a senior.  What do ya think?"  He said, "I'm
so flattered you'd think of me for this, Dylan.  I'm
surprised you even knew I was on the baseball team."
I told him he was the very first person I thought of
when I got this idea, "I swear, Rob, it's true...  I
thought of you".  I could be sincere about that
because it's basically true. Obviously, because I'd
just thought of it that second.

Rob looked away and blushed a dark pink, which matched
the color of his cheek blotches, same dark rosy pink
all over his face...from his forehead to his chin. He
mumbled, "Thank you so much, Dylan."  I wanted to hug
him!  Instead, I asked if he'd walk with me for a bit
since we both go home the same direction, for the
first six blocks anyway, and he was excited, saying...
"Sure, I'd like to walk with you."  I couldn't believe
that he thought walking with me was something cool to
do.

As we walked I asked him directly if he'd like to be
on the paper and he said, "Oh yeah, definitely.  Those
kinds of extra curricular activities look good on
college applications.  The only thing is, you'll have
to guide me along... you know, spend some one-on-one
time with me."  I was like, "Oh, of course Robby, I'll
give you all the time you need."  He chuckled and
bumped my shoulder with his shoulder saying, "Only my
little brother and my Mom call me Robby anymore."
Quickly saying I was sorry, he piped in with, "No, not
at all... I like it."  So, "Robby", it is.

We agreed to get together after school one day soon to
kick some ideas around.  It was so easy to talk to him
and I was kind of giddy thinking about working
one-on-one.  Rob turned left on Waverly Road and I
went straight.  The rest of the walk home I spent
thinking about how I missed having Chubby to walk home
with.  I missed his rants, and his factoids, and his
energy.  I didn't even smoke a cigarette.  It's more
fun when I'm sharing them with him.  After saying "Hi"
to Mom and putting on my running outfit,  I was off to
do my four mile run.  Running is addictive and my Mom
says I have an addictive personality...  same for
Chubby, we get in a grove with something and don't
want to change anything about it.

Naturally, as I ran,  I thought about tomorrow and
meeting with my Marine again.  Hard to believe it was
just yesterday that I met him.  I think he might have
had almost as much to do with me acknowledging my
feelings for Robby as fat Carl has had.  They both
brought me "out", so ta speak.  Frankly, I'm looking
forward to my second encounter with the Marine.  I've
been vacillating back and forth with that, but "seeing
him again" is the winner.  At the two mile point I
took the rest area cut off trail and came around the
group of trees half expecting the Marine to be there.
He wasn't though, no one was.

Looking around for thirty seconds... then in slow
motion I went through the steps he put me through
yesterday.  First, all alone, I had no trouble
starting to pee.  Then I put my wrist under my chin,
but with no hair on my arm it didn't feel like when he
did it at all.  Over at that bench,  leaving my shorts
and jockstrap cup under my nuts like they were for my
pee, I stood up straight with my hands clasped behind
my back the way the Marine ordered me to stand and got
the hardest boner just thinking about him sucking my
dick.

"No way I'm jerking off here",  "no way I'm jerking
off here"... that's what I kept telling myself as I
groped my stiff cock jogging stiff legged around the
rest area and praying no one showed-up... my cock soon
 softened enough to get it back in the jockstrap cup.
As soon as I was all put back together, I smacked
myself on my ass like the Marine did and off I flew,
running like I was doing the hundred yard dash... same
as  yesterday.   When I got winded, way down the
trail,  I slowed to a jog thinking, "Holy shit!...
that Marine is so hot! "  Now I was excited and
anxious for tomorrow afternoon to get here. Before
that, I'd better take care of my pubes... my bush, as
the Marine called it.  Not much of a bush actually,
but how to propose this to Chubby tonight?

That evening Chubby was home right on time after work
and we were almost comfortable with each other
although it remained slightly awkward with both of us
purposely not mentioning last night.  I'd saved
Chubby's salad from yesterday and he was eating that
with Ken's Italian dressing while I put our extra
large mac and cheese in the microwave. I got out
glasses for our Snapple drinks and then sliced some
crusty Italian bread... keeping bust since we weren't
talking much.   When I looked over at Chubby, he was
looking at me... he said, "How was the run today,
Dylan?  I miss running with you, dude.  I miss walking
home from school with you too."  That started us
talking a little more, I put on a Counting Crows CD
for some back-ground music and we started relaxing
with each other... like we use to be all the time.

We did homework and went down to watch the Red Sox
like always.  Chubby says, "Let's do our legs first,
Dylan."  As we started to get the razor and shaving
creme out he added, " And, I gotta tell ya... we're
stuck with this shaving routine for the foreseeable
future.  I'd be wicked embarrassed letting the guys at
work see my leg hair growing in... then they'd know
I'd been shaving them.  Fuck, why'd we start this,
anyway?"  I reminded him it was his idea years ago
when he was getting hair on his legs and I hadn't
started growing any yet.  He goes, "Oh yeah.  I can't
even blame it on you, can I?."  He said it in a self
deprecating, kind of funny way.  I came right out and
said, "No, that one was your's, but you can blame this
one on me.  I was just thinking how cool it might be
to shave our pubes at the same time we do our legs."
Chubby jumped right on top of that idea and took over
the proceedings.  "Hey, dude.. random!  You first,
Dylan.  It's your idea."

He got the barber clippers and I finished getting our
regular leg shaving stuff out.  "Guess you're gonna
need to let it all hang out, Dylan.  Get those jockeys
off."  He was joking some, but this was right up his
alley.  I should have expected this reaction because
he's been insisting for months that we shave some of
our lower pubes at the top of our thighs.  I'd
forgotten about that.  No hesitating, I pulled off my
shorts and jockeys. As I mentioned earlier, we're real
comfortable with seeing each other naked.  Chubby
says, "Take your socks off too, Dylan.  I want to
massage your feet first.  Haven't done that this
week."  He was slightly up-tight when he said that
because he has that crazy foot fetish and he gets a
bit aroused... that's what it looked like to me
anyway.

So I sat on the toilet seat in the basement's
half-bath and Chubby massaged, smelled, licked and
sucked on my feet until his entire almost five inches
of boner could be seen sideways in his shorts.  He
made little quiet humming sounds along with some
groans as he fondled and made love to my feet.  I
don't have even a touch of foot fetish, but watching
Chubby get so aroused did get my dick firming up a
little.  His foot fondling went on for twenty
minutes... the TV is in a direct line from where I sat
so I mostly watched the game while Chubby enjoyed his
fetish.

The way he sucked on my big toe was kind of erotic,
even to me.  He'd lick slowly up the arch of my foot,
that lick ending with my big toe in his mouth where he
gave it as much tongue all over my toe as the Marine
had given my dick.  Guess what I was thinking?
...looking at that cute face of Chubby's  while he was
sucking my dick instead of my toe... whoa! I need to
keep myself under control.   Chubby had his eyes
lightly closed for most of the twenty minutes and all
I could think of was, "I'll bet you anything he ain't
doing this with Ricky... he needs me to do this with",
 I was glad to have that going for me.

Chubby finally took a deep breath, said, "Oh man, your
feet needed a lot of attention tonight, Dylan."  He
took another deep breath, adjusted his crotch and
asked, "How do your feet feel now?"  I told him
"great" and after one more deep breath he turned on
the clippers and within ten seconds all my pubes lay
around the base of the toilet.  "That was cool." he
said, then added, "We should have thought of this
sooner."  While he was wetting down my right leg he
said, "Ah, you know,  that... Ah, in the past it's
sorta, sometimes... you know, sometimes this kinda
thing makes me spunk in my pants." Chubby wasn't
looking at me when he mumbled that, he was looking at
my crotch, brushing a few stray pubes off me, onto the
floor.

Well, I could have really made it hard on him by
breaking his balls about it, but we're still in a
delicate stage of getting to be close buddies again...
plus, I like him too much for that.  It would hurt his
feelings, he's very sensitive.  Of course, just for
the record, he "always" spunks, not "sorta, sometimes,
maybe" like he said.  Anyway, I go... "Sure, Chubby.
I know that.  No problem, bro.  Completely natural."
He did look up then, sort of a quick look out of the
corners of his eyes with that tiny grin of his,
nodding his head like he was proud of me... for
"getting it right", I guess.

Chubby nodded his head one more time and without
further comment  shaved my right leg. Then my left
leg.  He said, "You better stand up now, Dylan.  I
think I can get your pubes easier that way".  Standing
up nice and straight with my hands clasped behind my
back as a joke... a joke Chubby didn't get... how
could he?  He didn't know about me and the Marine. He
went about wetting my pubic stubble, smoothed on
shaving cream and then took his time shaving me nice
and smooth.  Chubby had no hesitation about grabbing
hold of my dick to move it out of the way.  It all
went pretty quickly... still, by the time he was done
my dick would have to be labeled a full fledged
"boner".  Chubby ignored that too  for the time being
and simply said, "There, fuck! That looks so cool,
Dylan.  Come on, do mine now."  then he added, "You
got a longer boner than I do, Dylan.  You're lucky."
I just said, "Dude!"

I used the barber clippers on his pubes, moving his
smallish penis this way and that.  It occurred to me
that this is the first time either of us have ever
touched the other guy's privates. My dick had been
touched many times by Carl, who thought he owned it,
and by the Marine, who will own it if I'm not careful.
 I tried to make my mind blank, but the mutual penis
touching and the whole idea of shaving each others'
bush was getting me aroused.  Putting it out of my
mind didn't seem to work because my penis has a mind
of it's own... and in this instance it was determined
to get harder and harder, eventually sticking at least
six inches straight out from my crotch.  I was so mad
at myself for not putting my shorts back on before
starting on Chubby's pubes.  By the time I was done
shaving Chubby's stubble, holding his cock the whole
time, his cock had gotten as rock hard as mine.
Breathing hard,  I definitely felt I was going to cum
any second.

This is NOT what I thought would happen... it's what I
expected Chubby to do, not me.  Concentrating hard,
imagining myself sitting in a tub of cold water,
hoping this would get my dick to back off, but by now
it was vibrating and finally I went, "Ahhhh!
ohhhh...oh, damn!" and, facing away from Chubby, I
stroked my throbbing boner.  The foreskin sheath slid
easily back and forth over the sensitive, swollen head
of my penis.  I went, "Oh Oh Oh", my body shuddered...
three more fast, tight strokes and a string of cum a
foot long shot out and dropped to the bathroom floor.
I stroked it again wicked fast, my  eyes and mouth
tightly shut, making soft moaning sounds now as
another shorter spurt of cum plopped on the floor.
Then droolings as I kept stroking, slower now.  I
managed to grunt out, "Ohhhh, Jesus!  That was not in
my plans, Chubby.  Man, I'm so embarrassed, but it
just happened, dude. You know Chub, like you said
earlier."

Chubby said, "Whoa, that was da bomb, man!  I never
saw you spunk before.   Fuck, I never saw anyone spunk
before... in person, I mean. Wow, watch me..." !   I
noticed his boner now... like mine, sticking straight
out like a short pipe.  I always though Chubby would
have a five inch boner, but it might be closer to four
and a  half inches, then five inches.  The other half
inch was his foreskin.  He had the cutest damn penis I
ever saw... everything about Chubby was cute.  I can't
believe I never recognized that before this.

Standing with stiff legs, Chubby used the circle
formed by his thumb and index finger tightly around
his boner to manipulate his foreskin back and forth
over the dark red head of his cock... his hand was a
blur of activity. I watched in fascination while he
jerked-off for about three minutes... his face all
scrunched up, blowing spit sprays out a small opening
between his lips, then he arched his back thrusting
his groin out as far as he could and said, "Ooooahhh"
and a hard, thin, two foot squirt of cum shot out
hitting the bathroom door.  Chubby squeaks out, "Oh
yeah!  Shit!  Ohhh" and two more quick squirts of
spunk splatter on the tile floor... then he drained
his nuts, the cum drooling down his little root.
Chubby grunts out, "Fuck!  That was awesome.  Damn!"
He sat down on the toilet seat again, breathing hard,
still stroking his cock.  "Whoa, Dylan.  It was hot
having you watch me.  God damnit to hell, what's wrong
with us two.  We should have started doing this years
ago.  Lots of guys do it together, ya know?"

A couple of months ago something like this wouldn't
even enter my mind...  that's why we didn't do this
together earlier. I certainly didn't want to tell
Chubby that because then I'd have to tell him why I
changed my mind.  In other words, I didn't want to
confess that fat Carl fucked me into realizing my
nature... and I certainly didn't want to mention the
Marine.  I just said, "Yeah, you're right Chub.  It's
very cool."  Chubby then added in a conspiratorial
manner, "We probably should keep this to ourselves
though... don't ya think?"  To that I said,
"Positively, dude.  Keep it private."

Then Chubby began taking credit for the whole thing...
he goes, "It's nice  to see you lighten the fuck up a
little bit, Dylan... and have some fun."   Then, as we
pulled our shorts back on and cleaned up the bathroom,
Chubby spent ten minutes rationalizing why it was cool
to do what we did.  By the time he was done you'd have
thought we should be ashamed of ourselves for not
wacking off together sooner.  "Being cautious is one
thing Dylan, but don't be a fucking prude.  Hey,
Dude... I'm not saying you are a prude, but just that
you need to have an open fucking mind once in a while.
 Shit, we missed some primo jerking-off years already.
 That's all I'm saying to ya.  For Christ sake this
isn't rocket science."  I just nod my head and try not
to snicker when Chubby lectures me like that.  The boy
is so serious about it...

Trying real hard not to, but I couldn't hold back the
laughing after his last comment.  His cute, pompous
lecture to me with that absurd line of reasoning... it
strikes me as really funny!   He's like, "What the
fuck you laughing at now?"  I hugged him and he
squirmed for a second at first, but then we ended up
with a very sweet, kinda longish, hug.... our packages
pressed together caused both of us to spring
semi-boners.   Neither of us had anything to say after
the hug.  We finished putting the barbering stuff away
and crawled into our favorite recliner together to
watch the rest of the game.

Chubby didn't need to hump my leg tonight, we just
watched Tim Wakefield mystifying the A's hitters with
his screwball.  Chubby was snuggled up to my side real
nice.  I thought about last night and that prick,
Ricky... and compared that to this night's great
experience. What a difference twenty four hours can
make.  After the game, and just before Chubby went
upstairs to his place, he had a serious look on his
face telling me, "Dylan, that was so awesome tonight,
dude.  You and me, we're like the closest buddies
ever.  That was fun!"  He put his hand down the front
of his shorts and felt around before he finished with,
"Feels good too."  So, he was referring to shaving our
pubes... the jerking off never happened, in his
mind... till next time.

He says, "Later, Dylan..see ya!",  I had a much more
peaceful sleep tonight than last night and in the
morning... the first thing I did was feel my baby
smooth belly where my pubes use to be.  The second
thing I did was feel my heart beating fast, thinking
about meeting the Marine again after school today.  I
was still experiencing a combination of excitement and
a touch of fear... in equal portions.  That formula
continued all day.

On the way to school Chubby and me never even
mentioned last night's activities. It's now part of
the Dylan/Chubby experience though and I'm pretty sure
the shaved pubes will remain part of our routine for
quite some time... I sure hope so.  The jerking off
together is a little more dicey, but I'm betting I
haven't seen the last of that either... and once
again, I sure hope I haven't.  There was something
else too.  Hard to put my finger on it, but this
morning I could sense Chubby acting tighter with me...
the pat on my back and the grin "hello" conveyed a
closeness that's been missing recently.  I know he
really liked that  it was me who came up with that
outlandish suggestion to shave our pubic hairs last
night.  Usually it's Chubby doing the outlandish...
I'm betting he appreciates having company in
"outlandish land".  Looks like icky-Ricky don't have a
chance of splitting Chubby and me up after all.

School dragged all day. I was anxious to get on the
run and meet my Marine.  At the same time... I had a
constant nervous, scary feeling in the pit of my
stomach.   This was something completely new to me...
nervous, scary anticipation AND excited, desirable
anticipation, all at once... opposite emotions at the
thought of the same thing.  My aroused penis stirring,
my heart nervously beating too fast and my hands with
a scary tremor to them.  Jittery the entire day...
much of the day I was absolutely positive I wasn't
going to meet him.  It was simply too nerve racking...


I guess mostly I was afraid of him being in control of
everything again, and not knowing what he might do to
me.  Other times during the day I was sure I had to
see him again so I could experience the very new,
thrilling sensations he gave me... the way he had my
whole body tingling and buzzing with sexual pleasure.
 That was a lot to turn my back on.    Christ, I'm
seventeen years old and I'm finally dipping my toe in
the sexual ocean to determine the temperature...
metaphorically speaking.  It's about time too.

At the end of the day, while closing down the school
newspaper,  all of a sudden I knew I was going to go
through with it.  The scary, weird feeling in my belly
existed stronger than ever... that didn't change, but
I knew I was going to meet the Marine just the same.
Smoking two cigarettes on the way home I tried to calm
my nerves and talk myself into a realistic frame of
mind.  He's apparently married and therefore he must
be bi.  What else can it be?  He's taken a liking to
me and if I can grow some balls real quick, I just may
find out a little more about gay sex... and, at the
same time,  experience the sexual thrill of my life...
 thus far in my life anyway.  Also, I wanted to feel
proud of myself a little bit too... after all, it's
gutsy to do what I'm going to do.

At home, Mom, in a concerned way asked me.. "Dylan,
what's wrong?  You're acting strange, honey."  I told
her,  "I'm not acting strange, Mom.  Don't be silly,
everything is great"   and off I went to my room to
change.  She yelled after me, "Your voice sounds funny
too".  In my room I looked at myself in the mirror and
thought, "maybe I'm also looking a little funny ".
OK, fuck it! ... I'm really nervous! So what?   The
important thing is that I'm committed now... so, with
my running stuff on,  I go out the door carrying my
bottle of water, and begin my four mile run.

Jogging slowly, until I got warmed-up, I kept telling
myself. "Act like a man for Christ sake... you've
never been a wuss. Don't start now!"  But,   I gotta
be honest... there's something about that Marine that
draws me to him and there's something about him that
scares me away too.  I was more and more nervous the
closer to the cut-off trail I got.  Shaky as hell, but
determined to experience this again.  I had myself
psyched to find out if it can possibly be as hot the
second time as it was the first....   oh hell, I'm so
freaking nervous about it though.

After running for about a half hour I saw the sign for
the rest area turnoff trail right there in front of
me.. and sure enough, without hesitating, I followed
it... slowing down to a jog, and then walking the last
ten yards.  My heart was thumping and I was taking
short, fast  breaths as I again questioned myself...
"why are you doing this?"  I  felt compelled to do it.
 I can't EVER remember feeling this apprehensive about
anything before in my life and, at the same time,
having this high of a level of anticipation...  my
groin was definitely buzzing and I groped myself with
both hands just before reaching the trees.  Then I
stopped completely and played with myself for another
thirty seconds.  That Marine was in my head for
sure... damn, that guy is hot.

Getting myself under control and taking little
hesitant steps I made it around the group of trees...
and there he was. He was standing near the "pee" tree
sweating and breathing a bit hard.  Must have arrived
a minute before me.  I glanced down at my Swiss Army
wristwatch... it was five minutes to three.  The first
thing I noticed is his brand new crisp, Marine-style,
white side-wall, haircut.   He looked so cool, so
confident, so hot.  Feeling totally unsure of myself
and a little bit scared,  I stopped and waited,
panting slightly... silently telling myself to "calm
the fuck down!".  The Marine glanced up without
changing expression, he didn't seem the least bit
surprised to see me.

He looked in my direction for a few seconds, took two
steps away from the tree, pointed back at it and said,
"Take your pee."  I swallowed hard and, standing up as
straight as I could, I walked slowly, like a zombie,
over to the tree.  Spreading my legs slightly, I
pulled the front of my running shorts and my jockstrap
cup down to catch under my nuts... and waited.  I
didn't look, but I could sense him behind me.  His
hairy arm came around my neck, under my chin... more
firmly then the last time.  He spoke in a no nonsense
manner, "Don't wait for me to tell you what to do
every time ...get up against me tight, and stay like
that."  Gulping and coughing, I leaned back against
him feeling that slightly sweaty, hairy arm tickling
under my chin.

The fleeting thought that "he could kill me in a
instant" flew through my brain and I discarded it just
as fast as it had arrived. I took a very deep inhale
and held it.  He was damp with perspiration which soon
made the back of my T shirt damp as well.  Adjusting
his hairy arm so my chin was raised up awkwardly, he
used his other hand to feel my shaved belly and down
all around my cock and balls... he said nothing. I
tried to relieve the pressure under my chin by going
up on my toes as he fondled my teen package.  Then,
rubbing next to my nuts on my thigh, and finally
running his hand behind to grab a fistful of my
buttocks and squeezing hard.  Oh my God, the feel of
him...

Waiting for him to tell me what to do, up on my toes
like that... my legs got jittery, my heart beat hard
and fast, and I was getting dizzy.  In that hypnotic
voice, with his lips brushing my ear, and without the
scratchy five o'clock shadow today, he said, real
low..  "Exhale!  Breath the fuck out or you'll pass
the fuck out.  Relax, like I told you last time."  He
rubbed the side of his face against the side of my
head just above my ear and I could feel his
semi-swollen eight inch cock against my buttocks.  Him
being three or four inches taller than me, his organ
rubbed against the top portion of my ass.  His penis
was sideways in his running shorts and it didn't feel
like he had a jockstrap on this afternoon.

Doing what he said, I gasped out an exhale,  but
immediately had to do a huge inhale of another wheezy,
deep breath... my breathing was totally out of it's
normal pattern.  I was all fucked up and my mind was
saying over and over, "you shouldn't have come, you
shouldn't have come" while all the time leaning back
against the Marine with all my might.  He wrapped both
arms around me now, leaned back, and casually lifted
me off my feet... his cock was getting harder as he
put his lips against my ear again and said, "OK.  It's
OK. Calm down.  You're excited, I understand that, but
ya got to breath, for fuck sake!."  Both my hands were
on his wrist again, the one he had holding me around
my stomach.  Shortly he lowered me back down so my
feet were touching  ...my cock and balls still just
hanging out there, they bounced when my feet made
contact with the ground.

He continued to hug me, swaying slightly and I laid my
head back against his shoulder,,, he nuzzled the hair
on side of my head with the side of his chin.  It was
a surreal moment in time for me... as if I was in a
different dimension or dreaming or something.  Two
minutes we were like that, and I got real relaxed, my
breathing had slowly become regular again although my
heart did continue beating too hard and fast.  Sensing
I had recovered sufficiently from my near frenzied
state, he said, "That's good" and just like that,  he
took my penis in his fingers and said, "Pee"... a
stream came right out of me and I did a nice long pee,
followed by a shoulder shudder, his flick of my dick
to get the last drops off, and then me doing that deep
breath of relief after a much needed piss.

All business again, the Marine said...  "OK, you need
to come over to the bench with me now... concentrate,
and do everything the way I told you last time".   I
felt nervous again.  Like Wednesday, he held onto my
cock and led me over to the bench, using my penis as a
short leash... me taking little, fast steps outside
his feet so I didn't step on his heels.  When he sat
down, I stood as straight as a I could, hands clasped
behind me.  I was hoping he'd compliment me again for
doing it the right way,  and maybe compliment me for
my shaved bush too.  He'd already given me that one
compliment... when I'd calmed down, he'd said, "That's
good".   It was quickly apparent though that he took
for granted I'd stand-up straight and have my bush
"taken care of"... he made no mention of either.

Standing before him, averting my eyes, with my hands
clasped behind me, I had the absurd realization that
my penis was erect.  That totally took me by
surprise... when did that happen?    It was sticking
six inches straight out from my shaved crotch.  Maybe
it got hard when he used it as a leash to lead me over
here... but, no... now I recalled that it got hard
near the end of my piss.  How unusual!  Sitting up
straight, and still somehow making it look
comfortable, the Marine casually took a long pull on
his bottle of water and then wiped his face with a
small towel he retrieved from the waistband of his
running shorts.

When I dared, I stole a peek at him... he looked so
tough, but kind of boyish too... like a kid playing a
tough Marine.  It seemed that every time I looked at
him he appeared younger than he looked the time
before, but honestly, he turned me on more and more
every minute I was with him, it was crazy. Not just
his hot looks, but the way he did everything... even
drinking that water.  He didn't swallow ... gulp,
gulp, gulp... like I do,  he allowed the water to just
roll down his throat.  All of a sudden, I really
wanted him to like me, and maybe tell me I'm
special... like he did Wednesday afternoon.

Thirst quenched, face wiped off... he stood up and
looked me over the same way he did before.  Except,
this time he also put his hands under my  T shirt and
ran both palms of his hands over my chest, around my
back, and down around my belly... then down to grasp
my boner and stroke it slowly.  He said, "Get back up
straight!" and I stiffened my body again.  When he was
rubbing me I inadvertently slouched because his touch
felt good and I relaxed my posture.  After feeling my
body a bit, he nodding his head to himself, sat down,
and pulled out his long, hard boner.  It was too long
to stick straight out of his crotch like mine did...
his went out hard and straight, but slumped down near
the head, mostly due to it's length and the weight of
that swollen head, I guess.  If I was braver I'd say
something about a slouching boner, but he probably
wouldn't see the irony, nor the humor in it... instead
I tried standing up even straighter.

Taking my nuts in his fist, he squeezed them too hard
and, with my nuts still in his fist, he looked up at
my face with those glowing blue eyes of his.
Squeezing my balls hurt, but I scrunched my face and
took it without a whimper.  "Good', is all he said.
Then he put my boner in his mouth and sucked it fast
with strong pulls from his lips and tongue... he
sucked me off like he was sucking on an fat peppermint
stick that he wanted to consume in record time.. it
was as if there actually was some yummy  flavor coming
off my bone hard penis.

When a small squeak escaped my lips as I squirmed with
the sensations of his mouth, those blue eyes of his
looked up again and I clamped my mouth shut tight.
Then, taking my cock out of his mouth, he held it
sideways against my thigh and began sucking small
parts of my shaved belly with his lips.. it was a
combination kissing/sucking motion that pulled my
flesh between his front teeth for a light bite...
shivers and goose bumps ran all around my body... with
me shivering as if a cold breeze had blown over me, he
went back to sucking on my cock some more.

He was sucking it gently now and wasn't stroking
himself like last time.  His thumb and index finger of
his left hand held my penis at it's base, down on my
belly, and the other hand was between my legs rubbing
from just behind my balls, back to my asshole using
his middle finger, I think... he did it over and over.
 It was getting sweaty and slippery down there...
then, he did that move where he pushes his nose into
my belly and swallows the head of my boner down his
throat.  This time when he swallowed the head of my
cock and I went up on my toes, he pushed his middle
finger all the way up my hole.  It made me come down
off my toes and then quickly back up on them again...
sputtering and shuddering and making "Aaaahhh" sounds.


He fucked me with that finger, fast and faster...
never taking it all the way out, just rubbing it
against my prostate, back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth... all the while bobbing his head so my
boner was in his throat,  then out, then in, then
out...   I didn't even have a warning before a burning
blast of cum shot up from my nuts and out my cock into
the Marine's mouth.  It felt like a torrent of teen
cum, but most likely it wasn't much more than the
normal amount... just felt like it was a lot more.  He
sucked my pee slit until every drop of cum was
accounted for.  I was blubbering and blowing sprays of
spit out a small opening between my teeth.  What a
climax!  It was all over too fast... other than that,
it was the most intense feeling I've ever had.

When the Marine pulled off my softening cock, he
sucked my nuts into his mouth... another totally
unexpected action.  Dazed by it all,  I suddenly
realized that I was leaning down with my arms around
the back of his neck.  How I got in that position, I
don't recall.   The hairs on the back of his head were
so short it felt like sandpaper back there.  I rubbed
up his head and when I got near the top the hairs were
slightly longer and they were so soft... it was
surprising to me that this hard Marine would have such
soft hair.  Still in a bizarre daze, I used both my
hands rubbing all around his head, up the back and up
the sides, feeling the contrasting sandpaper and soft
hair.

This was not to the Marine's liking... he pushed my
bag of nuts out of his mouth with his tongue and said,
"God damnit! Stand up straight.  Hands behind your
back".  He said it trying to sound all pissed-off, but
he was himself aroused and out of breath, so it didn't
sound real scary.  None the less, I got back in
position quickly, then sneaking a look down...  and,
oh my God,  I've never seen a longer cock than the one
he had at that moment.

He was wiping the finger he'd had up my ass on the
little towel and then he tightened his jaw and closed
his eyes for a second while he stroked that long, long
boner of his four times... a stream of pre cum drooled
out and hit the ground.  He went, "Oooh" ...it was
muttered  so quietly I could just barely hear it.  As
I stood there straight and tall for him, he sat up
straight on the bench drinking more water and then
took a couple of deep breaths.   Like I said, he was
definitely aroused and I was feeling proud of myself
that it was partly me that had made him that way.

He stood up, blew out another deep breath and said,
"Now you're going to suck me off.  Do you get on your
knees or sit down when you give head?"  I quickly
thought to myself... "Well, let's see...I sucked off
fat Carl initially sitting down, but he quickly
insisted I do it on my knees...  So, I guess knees".
Quietly saying, "Knees", I got down in front of him
and waited to see if he had instructions or something.
 He moved us over a few feet so that my back was
against the plank of pressure treated wood that
made-up our bench and he said, "OK, Kid... show me
what ya got."

Immediately I licked from his balls to the head of his
boner where more precum had squeezed out of his pee
slit.  Taking the head of his cock inside my mouth, I
sucked the precum off his prick and swallowed it.
There wasn't any question in my mind that I enjoyed
doing this so I was the calmest I've been since
walking around those trees at the entrance.  I even
got to like sucking Carl's cock near the end and now I
tried to remember the way he had taught me to do it...
trying to put everything I had into pleasing the
Marine.  He had both his hands lightly on my head...
his fingers playing with my hair.  Sucking and licking
the top half of his boner and then rubbing his cock's
head against the inside of my cheek and the roof of my
mouth... doing the things Carl had instructed me to do
for him.

I thought it was going quite well, and I was actually
getting my own stiffy back... just from sucking off
the Marine... I wasn't even stroking myself.  Not
surprisingly, he smelled so masculine... that excited
me and so did his thick, dark pubic bush.  I had one
hand around his boner and the other one was ruffling
through his damp bush and then lightly squeezing his
large bag of nuts as I sucked him off for all I was
worth.  After five minutes the Marine muttered, "No,
no" and tightened his two-hand grip on my head to
over-power my neck muscles and now he was manipulating
my head's movements as he choose.  "Swallow it" he
muttered, not particularly in a pissed-off way.
Adding off-handedly, "By now you should be taking it
down your throat."  He began directing his cock head
against the back of my throat and naturally I gaged
like mad... almost throwing-up.

"You'll need to learn to do this eventually so it
might as well be now.  Relax your throat muscles...
just think of it as swallowing a large mouthful of
something."  His instructions were made in a matter of
fact manner as if  he were talking about me learning
to tie a knot... or is that a Navy thing?  I'm not
sure, but I do know it was very unpleasant and
uncomfortable. I would have tried to back away from
him and from the thrust at my throat except my back
was against that bench and the bench was cemented to
the ground.  I tried to shake my head "no" but he held
it too tightly.  Relentlessly he poked his hard boner
at the entrance to my throat and each time my gag
reflects repelled it.

My eyes were tearing like crazy...  my stiffy was now
limp as it can get... and I wasn't calm anymore.  I
didn't want to do this, but he wouldn't stop poking
the back of my throat so I let my teeth scrape his
boner and the lights went out in my head for a half a
second.  It took me a few more seconds to realize he'd
slapped my face with his open hand.  "The next time
your teeth touch my pecker you are going out for the
count.  You got that?" and he left my head loose
enough for me to nod up and down indicating that "yes"
I got it.  My ears kept ringing for a few minutes, but
it was actually helpful because it kept my mind off my
throat and, sure enough,  the head of his cock went
down past my gag reflex, into my throat... and then
quickly out.

It scared me and fascinated me at the same time.
Three pokes later and his boner's head went down my
throat again and this time he left it there for a
couple of seconds.  When I started to panic he pulled
it back out, but pushed it right back in again.  Tears
continued running down my face and mucus from my nose
as he forcibly trained me to deep throat his cock.  I
don't know how long we did it, but I hated every
second of it... I hated him, and it hurt my throat,
and I couldn't breath when I thought I needed to, and
I promised myself that if I lived through this, never
again... never will I ever do this again.  I've
learned my lesson.  This Marine is dangerous!

The tears had turned into a whimpering cry, but he
wouldn't stop and his cock head was going in routinely
by now. I prayed it was over... now that he was
getting into my throat, surely he's satisfied... but,
no.. he switched to concentrating on seeing how deep
in my throat he could get his cock.  With no mercy, it
soon was going half way down my throat rather easily.
Then he concentrated on getting the second half in my
mouth and down my throat.

Before he was done I had completely surrendered my
head and throat to the Marine and, as a result, with
his strong hands controlling my head I eventually
found my nose pressed repeatedly into his pubes as he
fucked my throat with the entire length of his full
boner... all the way in and all the way out.   I gaged
at times and gasped for breath, but he was going to
fuck my mouth come hell or high water. As he got in a
rhythm sliding his slippery, saliva dripping, long
boner in and out of my throat I concentrated on
keeping my lips over my teeth... I was meticulous
about it as if it was my vitally important job to
pleasure the Marine... in some part of my brain I felt
like I belonged to him by now.

Complying totally with him... gulping and doing the
swallowing motion he instructed me to do... it all
aided insertion and withdrawal,  and with the huge
amount of saliva his action was generating he was soon
humping easily in and out of my throat.... like I
said, with a comfortable, rhythmic, thrusting of his
hips... almost a dance move to a medium beat.  It
shocked me when I realized I was stroking my own boner
agan.. when did I start doing that?  I stroked my hard
cock in rhythm with every thrust he made down my
throat.

 I couldn't hardly believe I'd gotten a boner under
those circumstances, but there it was, and after a
while I got that feeling deep in my balls which
quickly resulted in me spurted out a dollop of cum...
it happened just ten seconds before his eruption.  The
Marine was pulling up out of my throat when he grunted
out, "Ohhhh!"  and a large splash of cum hit the back
of my throat... some I gulped down and swallowed, but
most I sucked up into my sinus cavity and coughed,
then blew a large cum bubble out my right nostril.

The Marine had his eyes tightly closed as the second
smaller cum load hit the roof of my mouth and spilled
out around his boner at both sides of my mouth... the
cream drooled down my chin and on down to my neck...
quite a lot too.  He roughly pulled his boner out to
stroke it with fast, tight strokes.  A shot of cum hit
my forehead and then one hit my chin and he squeezed
his cock tightly dragging out drools of cum that he
spread around my face with the head of his cock.

He kept groaning and taking shuddering big inhales,
apparently unable to get enough oxygen into his
system.  I was desperately trying to clear my sinus
cavities by blowing out through my nostrils... I did
it so hard my ears stopped-up.  Strings of his creamy
cum flew out each nostril, but I couldn't get it all
out... it was too sticky.  All I smelled and tasted
was the Marine's cum.  It smelled vaguely like a damp
kitchen sponge and had a faint taste of hamburger.  My
climax had me groping my cock and squeezing my nuts...
god damn, that second climax of mine had felt good!

He staggered back two steps still stroking his long
boner and still breathing hard.  Sweat covered both
our faces and of course my face was also drenched with
his cum load.  He puffed his cheeks out and blew out a
last big exhale before saying, "OK, that was OK".  He
stepped back toward me now with a smirk on his face...
he cupped the back of my head with one hand and with
the other he smeared his cum evenly over my face and
into my hair.  The smirk was almost a smile... almost
friendly.  "Get up. I'll help clean you up."  He'd
been wiping his sweaty face with his small towel
again.  I incongruously thought, "I was right, he's
not wearing a jockstrap today ... maybe I won't wear
one while running either".

He poured water from his bottle onto the towel and
began wiping the cum and sweat off my face... I could
detect the faint smell of shit on the little towel
from when he wiped the finger he'd had up my ass in
the towel.  After two swipes he snapped, "Stand up
straight!  Do I have to tell you that every fucking
time?"  I got up straight with my hands behind my back
and he continued with my facial clean-up mumbling,
"Slouching is disrespectful".  Then he wiped at my
hair, but I knew he couldn't get all the cum out of
there.  He pressed the damp towel to my nose and
squeezed it there with a finger on either side... then
said, "Blow hard"  he made me blow four times before
there wasn't any more cum to get out.  I could breath
again through my nose.

Heaving the towel into a wire mesh trash basket, he
pulled my jockstrap cup and running shorts up, and
said, "Did ya like that?"  I'd been thinking all along
how much I hated it, so it surprised me when I said,
"It was so hot and sexy."  He snapped, "Answer my
question... did you like it?"  I mumbled, "Yes, I
liked it".  He said, "I thought you would, but it's
made me late so I'll take off from here first today.
Give me a couple of minutes head start, then you can
follow.  Monday, right here... same time" ...and just
like that he took off with a fast jog leaving me
standing up tall... at attention I guess is what you'd
call it.

Wondering why and if, in fact, I actually had liked
it, I went over to sit on the bench to contemplate
matters.  My throat hurt, I didn't have to contemplate
that, it was obvious.  And my face was still stinging
where he slapped me.... other than that, nothing came
to me from my contemplating.   I looked around at the
different parts of this rest area  thinking, "What the
hell am I doing?"  Did I actually like that?... I know
I told him I did, but did I?  And, hadn't I promised
myself ten minutes earlier that I'd never do this
again?... and then in my head, I admitted to myself
that I had, in fact, liked it?   How can this be?

My contemplating petered-out with this thought... hey,
I've never actually been in the rest area's lavatory
over there.  I walked over and went in the front door.
 There was a little foyer with a bunch of health
pamphlets encouraging exercise... both running and
biking.  Also, "don't start forrest fires" and "don't
litter" pamphlets as well as a list of penalties for
doing some of those things.   This is a Massachusetts
State forrest and so of course there are a lot of
rules and regulations... no mention of gay blow
jobs... deep throating, or otherwise though.

I pushed into the lavatory proper and was pleasantly
surprised at how clean it was... apparently the State
Parks people still service this place.  Looking in a
mirror I could see the Marine's fingers marks in red
on the side of my face... still showing from that
smack from fifteen minutes ago.  I touched the red
outline with my fingers and then felt my throat.  It
wasn't sore as in a sore throat when I get the flu...
it was sore like it was hurt... and I guess it was.
Leaving the lavatory I began jogging back down the
rest area trail thinking that I may have liked it
today, but I was positively convinced that I was never
going to meet up with the Marine again.

After fifteen minutes or so I drank water from my
bottle and noticed my throat felt OK.  That's odd.
The rest of the way home I tried not to think about
anything.  Back at the house I discovered a note from
my Mom saying that she was at the supermarket.  Good!
I didn't feel like talking.  Instead, I took a long
shower and slowly began thinking about my deep throat
experience.  The first thing I realized is that the
Marine apparently has some almost magical way, in
addition to his far superior strength, to get me to do
what he wants.  This means I have no "free will" when
I'm with him and, therefore, it's a very good thing
that I'll be staying away from him.

Thinking about never seeing him again actually  made
me think about him.  He was so handsome it was almost
ridiculous.. add to that, I was now pretty sure he was
even younger than I first thought.  Maybe only two or
three years older than me... he could still be a
teenager. That is one super hot teenager, but  how did
he get this power, this magnetism he seems to have?
The more I thought about me rubbing his head and that
sandpaper feel and then the feel of his soft hair up
further near the top of his head.. well, he just seems
so unique I began to want to see him again.

I know I shouldn't ever take a chance seeing him
again, but I wanted to anyway.  His hands felt so
steady whenever he touched me... he never seemed in
doubt what to do to me next.  It was fascinating to
me.  Maybe I like it best when he has me captured with
his hairy wrist under my chin pulling my head back and
up... the strength in his arm... hell, in his whole
body, he's so fucking attractive... and scary.

Laying on my bed after the shower, with just my boxer
underwear on,  I went over every step of todays
encounter with him and the more I thought about it the
harder my cock got.  Eventually I jerked off seeing
points of light in my head, arching my back and
shooting a nice string of cum that went straight up,
and then down, landing on my bedspread ...  the second
little string went up and then flopped down on my
boxers.  I'd played with myself while thinking about
the Marine and then did my jerk off with my cock
sticking up through the boxer's pee opening in front.
God damnit, it felt so hot.  But, like the last time I
wacked-off right after seeing the Marine,  soon  I was
feeling like a piece of shit again.  I felt as though
I'd been like some wimp letting the Marine do whatever
he wanted with me... for God sake, we didn't even know
each other's name.

Getting hard on myself as I changed my boxers, I
compared my pathetic  behavior to those guys I'd read
about  who go to Men's lavatories at rest areas and
put their dicks through holes in the toilet stall
partitions, allowing total strangers to then suck them
off,  or God only knows what else.  I challenged
myself to start doing that, and maybe I could also
hangout at the restroom in the bus terminal downtown
and give blow jobs to homeless derelicts. I knew I was
getting carried away, but why I so easily allowed
myself to be used by the Marine mystified and
intrigued me at the same time.

Then, while scrubbing at the cum stain on my
bedspread, I got really pissed-off at myself for
constantly highlighting the hot aspects of the Marine
instead of the being more critical of my performance.
I decided on two things... one: I, indeed, wasn't ever
going back to the Parker Park rest stop and, two:  I
was going to call Carl and get some mentoring about
this whole experience so I can understand it better.
Maybe I'll be able to use the information for future
reference.  Carl's the only one I feel slightly
comfortable talking about gay stuff with... and, he
seems to know what he's talking about... the fat fuck.
 And damn! why am I so mean to him in my mind all the
time?  Calling him a fat fuck and all.  He's been
pretty good to me.

When Chubby got home from his job, we had a quick
dinner, then we went to the movies. Friday night at
the eight-screen Movie Multiplex is a popular night
for the movies and we ran into some of the window
washing boys there, one of them wasn't Ricky, thank
the Lord.  The three guys Chubby introduced me to were
OK, I suppose.   Two were still in high school and one
had dropped out of high school in the tenth grade.  To
be honest, they seemed like slightly rougher, tougher
guys than Chubby and me.  They also seemed to be on
some mind altering substance tonight... booze or
marijuana or something.  They were all real loud,
calling Chubby, Jeffrey-the-Giant.  Maybe they thought
"Jeff" started with the letter "G" or maybe they
called him giant because he's short and small.  Or,
maybe they're just all hopped-up-druggie assholes.  I
was glad we were seeing a different movie then they
were.

Standing in line for popcorn I saw Robby Dickers in
another line and waved.  He got his popcorn and came
over to say "Hi".   His younger brother, who he
introduced as, Dodger, was a very cute fifteen year
old with a great smile.  I stared at him thinking,
"Jeez, Dylan, you never use to look at other boys like
you do now".   We did a quick handshake and I
introduced Chubby who was nice and friendly, like he
always is.  Robby looked so fresh... that beautiful
complexion with the dark rosy pink blotches, one on
each cheekbone, and the blue eyes with that light
blond hair.  I put my hand in my pocket to rub my semi
hard cock a few times.  Robby asked what day we could
get together next week... we decided on Tuesday.

Robby and Dodger's movie was about to start so we
split up.  Watching them go... in an offhand manner,
Chubby says, "Wow, rare to see a guy take his little
brother to a Friday night movie."  "Hmmm?", I mumbled,
"I guess so Chubby,  I never thought about it before,
but yeah... it is".  We saw a comedy tonight...Run Fat
Boy Run... it was pretty good and got Chubby on a roll
laughing... it gets contagious and we had a great
time, but we were exhausted from the laughing by the
end.  On the bus going home after the movie, Chubby
comes out with, "Don't get all bent out of shape
Dylan, but after work tomorrow the boss is having a
barbecue cookout at his house and there ain't no
fucking  way I can get out of going."  He was looking
out the bus window when he said that.

Looking over at the back of his head, I'm thinking...
I know the boss is the foreman, and the foreman just
happens to be Ricky Ortiz's father, and I know that
this means I'll be by myself all day Saturday, and
Saturday night too.  But I also know I've got to stop
being a baby about this kind of thing.  Along that
line,  I was going to just stare at the back of
Chubby's head and say nothing until he turned and
looked at me, but I like him too much to make him
uncomfortable so I said, "Just to be up-front about
everything, Chubby... I hate that job you got and I
hate that psycho Ricky too, but I'm OK that you got to
do what you got to do, Dude.  Have fun, I'm good."  He
turned now, with that slight grin on his lips, and
looked me in the eyes. Then squeezing my hand briefly,
he saids, "Thanks, Dylan... thanks for understanding,
man".  During the rest of the ride he told me all the
reasons he wished he could get out of going to that
barbecue, and ya know what... I didn't believe a word
of it.

Sleeping-in Saturday morning felt great.  I got up
about the time my Mom did... around ten o'clock.  We
had a nice breakfast together and then she went off
with Tris... first to the Spa for a "hair and nails"
appointment and then clothes shopping.  I'm so happy
my Mom has such a good friend in Tris... friends make
life so nice.  After thinking about it for an hour, I
finally said, "Fuck it!" and I called Carl.  He was
surprised to hear from me.   When I asked if I could
come over and talk with him he seemed reluctant.
"Look dude, you dumped me almost a month ago... kinda
hurt my feelings, ya know? ... especially after I
spent all that time being a mentor for you.  Now,
totally without any kind of warning, you call me up
and want to talk?  What's up with that?"

It took me a few minutes to talk him into seeing me
and I was kind of surprised to discoverer how much I
really did want to talk with him.  Explaining to him
how I only feel comfortable discussing this type of
thing with him,,, "you know dude, it's something
complicated and, well...it's gay".  He finally said,
"Look Dylan, I was just about completely "over you"
and then you call like this.  Here's the deal, bring a
condom and you can come over.  Got it? You understand
what I'm saying?"  I told him I did and I would,
but... after hanging up, I knew I wasn't going to.

Oh... I'm going over, but I not bringing a condom. I'm
pretty sure he won't have sex with me unless he has
one.  If he has one of his own, what the hell... I
wouldn't mind all that much if he screws me.  I'm gay
for Christ sake... and getting fucked feels good.
Last time I was fucked  was almost a month ago... by
Carl of course, he's the only one who has ever done it
to me.  And since then,  the Marine sucked me off
twice and I sucked him off once.  Those blow jobs are
the only sex I've had in a month.  Hardly qualifies me
as a sexually active gay seventeen year old.. does it?

While making lunch I was feeling good that I called
Carl... feeling good that I'd taken some action.  It's
important to me to get someone elses' impressions
about the Marine... see if they're anything like my
impression of him.  Of course, I'm never going to see
the Marine again.  I'd just like to understand my
reactions and attraction to him... that's all.  Like I
mentioned before, compile information in case I ever
run into this situation again... I need to "be
prepared"...just  like the fucking Boy Scouts.

Carl told me to come over around five,  his parents
and sister would be at the Mall then.  He expected
them back before seven and he wanted me gone before
then... I wanted me gone before then too.  So, that's
cool.  Walking over I knew that this might be a waste
of time, but there's always the chance Carl might have
some insight about my relationship with the Marine.
I've never really been fair in giving Carl enough
credit...  he deserves a lot for showing me my true
gay nature and he deserves a lot of credit for the
information about sex, about Ivy League college
applications, and about lots of other stuff he's
explained to me too.  The walk took about a half
hour... Carl opened the front door as I was going up
the front steps.

It was a little surprising to see his improved
appearance.  Carl had managed to get himself a real
nice tan during the senior class trip to Florida, he
also managed to clear-up his zits, and he had a new,
stylish, short haircut... all in all, he didn't look
bad.  He looked alright.. except, of course,  he was
still a whale... he hadn't lost any weight, might have
put on a couple pounds actually.

I hadn't even seen Carl for a few weeks.  The seniors
graduate next week and then two weeks after that the
rest of us at the high school get out for summer
vacation.  Even though no one was home Carl wanted to
go to his room "like the old days" and that was fine
except his room wasn't real neat like the old days...
it was a sloppy mess. Not that it mattered, but I
wondered why it was that his room is a mess now, and
he isn't... just the reverse of before.  We did small
talk for a bit... he told me he'd be leaving for the
family's vacation home right after graduation.  Their
vacation home was on the ocean in Maine and they'd be
there till the end of August. His aunt, uncle and
cousin share the place with Carl's family.  He told me
all that without a hint of his old nemesis, bad
breath...I thought,  "way to go, Carl".  In turn, I
told him the latest news about the school newspaper.
Then he wanted to know about my latest problem.

Not leaving anything out, I matter-of-factly told him
about the Marine and me.  On the walk over I figured
that since Carl always explains things to me in that
matter-of-fact manner, I'd copy his style.  During
parts of my telling he groped himself, and, at one
point I actually got a stiffy myself.  I mean, the
whole affair is hot, I've  no hesitation about
admitting that... it's the scary, lack of control part
that I'm  concerned about.  Overall, Carl was a good
listener... but when I was done he went into his usual
pompous know-it-all act.  He made a face like he was
considering all sides of this and then theatrically
rubbed his chin considering, I suppose,  how to
explain it all to a dope like me.

Once he got started I was afraid his lecture would
never end.   He pontificated about dominant/submissive
relationships, and how the  master/slave relationships
was the extreme example of that... and how castration
and all kinds of things are possible when just the
right submissive individual gets under the control of
just the right dominant master. He said that it was
dangerous for guys to just put themselves under the
control of these dominant types... they could find
themselves with a dog collar around their neck eating
out of a doggy dish and on and on he lectured....  He
gave examples of how he feels a person should react at
the first sign of a dominant move by another... not to
reject it totally out-of-hand, but to compromise so
that both parties understood what the other was
willing to do or to tolerate.

Carl played with himself through his sweat pants while
giving examples of dominant behavior.  Just when I was
thinking that he seemed to know an enormous amount
about this topic, he must have realized the same thing
because he stopped, frowned... and then went into a
detailed explanation about how he only knew this stuff
from reading about all these things on-line, and
blah, blah, blah. He felt he had to justify himself as
being a top only, which usually indicates a dominant
personality, although he claimed he was flexible about
that.   He then switched emphasis away from himself
and instead choose various points from my story that
demonstrated my extreme submissive behavior toward the
Marine.

Most of what he said made sense although some of the
castration and extreme master/slave stuff seemed a bit
over-the-top... but, then,  what do I know.  He said
when he and I first started together, he'd gotten the
mistaken impression I was playing more of a dominant
role and so to accommodate me, he acted more
submissive as we went along... he thought that was the
role I wanted him to play.  I told him I didn't know
we were playing roles. Carl just shook his head and
said, "Lack of good communications fucks you up every
time".  He somehow, kind of, blamed it all on me...
which sucked because I wasn't even really sure about
what he was talking about now, never mind back when we
first started together.  My head was going in circles
by the time he stood up and declared that even I
should get the picture by now. He'd already provided
much, much more information than I wanted to know so I
was happy he was done.

Well, I suppose it all sort of confirmed what I had
more or less thought as regards what worried me the
most... which is obviously me having no control  at
all when I'm with the Marine.   Overall, on the plus
side, all the information Carl provided was somewhat
comforting because it demonstrated that my
relationship with the Marine wasn't without
precedence... that it was, in fact, not real rare
within the gay community. I wasn't simply being a
pussy about it, and I wasn't a mental case either...
some guys simply have a propensity to submit to a more
dominant sexual partner.  It's important information
to know if, like me, you fall into that category.

Carl says. "Lastly, Dylan.. you might be interested to
know  that that type of relationship can also be seen
in the heterosexual community.   The stereo-typical
woman dressed in black leather with a whip thingie,
you know.. the poor submissive guy on all fours".  I
scratched my head, not having a clue what he meant,
but not wanting any more details about that, or about
anything else.  I was all talked out and ready to go
home.  Carl has a way of using six words when one
would do.  Anyway, all this information didn't solve
my problem, but it did help me to understand what I
was dealing with and, like I said... it mostly helped
me to know I wasn't a one in a million freak or
something.

Getting up, and checking my wristwatch, I saw we'd
talked for almost an hour.  I said, "Jeez, an hour!
Well, I better get going, Carl.  I can't thank you
enough though... you're a great mentor for me, you
really are and I appreciate it."  He chuckled and
sarcastically said, "Surely you jest.  Before you go
anywhere, you owe me a little something... a little
something I like to call, a good fuck... good for you
and good for me.  Ya sorta gave your word on the
phone... now, didn't ya?"  He was acting much more
arrogant then I'd ever seen him act before.  I went,
"What, you where serious about that?   I have to let
you fuck me in order for you to mentor me?  And YOU
say, surely I jest?" Not really pulling off the
arrogant part myself, but for once, the words were OK,
I thought.

Carl was having none of it however, and said, "Get
your pants off... I'm not kidding around with you.  If
I have to, I'll take them off for you.  This is how I
should have treated you from the beginning, now get
them off."  He was a big fellow, and no one was home,
and I'd just told him I was  submissive to the tough
acting Marine... fuck!   I tried to keep it light, but
it came out like a whine, "Carl, I don't have a
condom... I thought you were kidding on the phone."
He told me I knew very well he wasn't kidding...
"don't give me that shit" ... then he came over and
roughly pulled my T shirt over my head and put his
hand inside the waistband of my cargo shorts.  I
shouted, "Wait a second! ... I'll do it."  And I
dropped my shorts and boxers leaving me naked except
for my sneakers.   Carl took his time getting out of
his sweat pant... then said, "Get those sneakers and
socks off too, I want you completely naked."  He
pointed in front of him and added, "and, on your knees
right here."

Taking a deep breath I thought to myself, "Should I
make a big deal out of this or humor him?  Hmmm?  It's
not like I didn't think this was a possibility.  Oh
hell, go along for a bit."  Actually, I was already
"OK" with it to a degree, I was looking forward to
that "feeling" again... the one inside my hole... and
the way that feeling made my dick feel... yipes!
Obviously, Carl was taking this silly dominant role
position because of everything I'd just told him, and
you know what... if he takes it one inch over the line
I'm kicking him in the nuts.

On the other hand, maybe we can have a nice fuck and
there won't be the need for any nuts busting.  He's a
big fat kid, but right now he's not too bad in the
looks department... and, I know what to expect in the
way of a fuck from him,  so I'm up for it.  Carl's
fucked me maybe thirty times over those five or six
weeks and until the final two weeks or so they were
Ok... not "bam, slam.. WOW! .. to the moon and back"
but OK.  I haven't felt that certain feeling you get
having a boy's hard penis inside your body since the
last time he did me, and that's been a month now...
so, bring it on fatso.  I didn't say that to Carl, I
just thought it and then I felt bad because I called
him "fatso" again.. it was just in my head, but it's
still not necessary or nice to make fun of a person's
appearance.

After pulling his Polo shirt over his head and looking
over to see if I was ready, Carl stopped in his
tracks... just staring at my shaved pubic area.  His
mouth moved, but no words came out... pointing at my
hairless belly he finally managed to mutter, "What's
the story, Dylan?  That's an awesome look."  I told
him that shaving my pubes was something that intrigued
me and that it was a very recent thing... I did it on
a whim.  He pointed to that little bathroom in his
room and said, "Get in there.  You're doing that for
me."

I almost laughed at his macho role, but still wanted
to see where he was going with all this so I hustled
inside suppressing a smile.  He didn't have electric
clippers so I used a comb and scissors to cut his
pubes down to an eight inch and then shaved those off
with shaving creme and a safety razor.  Carl loved
it... he loved the look and he loved making me do it
for him.  He told me his cousin, the one he fucks in
Maine, just got himself a new responsibility and his
cousin has me to thank for it. I eagerly nodded my
head at him, having fun playing along as the wimp...
for now.

The pubes shaving got Carl kinda hot and he insisted I
suck his cock right there in that tiny bathroom with
his cut pubes under my knees and all around us.  He'd
taken his shirt off before I started cutting and,
completely naked, he was not a pretty sight.  His skin
was too white and there was so much of it... oh my
god!  His huge thighs and stomach... plus, his ass was
enormous, but worst of all were his gigantic tits...
big knobs, with big nipples, that hung down when he
just stood there... they swayed some when he moved.
No hair on his torso, but still not a good looking
body.  As a matter of fact, I made a point of not
looking.  His cock was normal sized, a bit smaller
than mine actually. I concentrated on that.  Sucking
it into my mouth was easy, it was already fairly firm.
 I pretended it was Chubby's cock and sucked away with
my eyes closed ... thinking, do I really want to suck
Chubby's cock?

That was an unexpected thought... me pretending I was
sucking Chubby off.  It's weirder and weirder how
attracted I am to Chubby... in a gay way, I mean.  It
may never happen, but it was becoming more of a
fantasy for me lately... me and Chubby.  Carl got very
hard, very fast.  He loved to play with and talk about
my light blond hair.  To him it was the most beautiful
hair he'd ever seen and he was trying to talk me into
letting him cut it.  He told me he cut his cousin's
hair all the time, plus Charles Mc Bride on the
newspaper at school, and two neighborhood middle
school brothers.  He went on and on about it, but soon
he began to drift into groans and moans as I got into
serious cock sucking.

It wasn't long before he grunted out a command, "Stop,
I'm going to cum.  Stop!"  So, I took his cock out of
my mouth, sat back on my heels, and looked up at
Carl's face.  He didn't look bad to me... he'd even
trimmed his nose hairs so you couldn't see them.  At
the moment his faced was a little scrunched-up as he
concentrated on not cuming.  Soon he relaxed
noticeably and then looked sternly down at me.  I
guess it's all part of the role he's playing. "While
you're down there get the tube of KY jelly I have
hidden in the cabinet under the sink.  It's in the
hole of the toilet paper roll... way in the back".  I
got it out and handed it to him asking, "You have a
condom without lube?"  He said, "Something like that.
Get in the bedroom and lay over the side of my bed.
I'm going to do you while you're on your stomach with
your feet on the floor."

His bed sheets were a mess, but didn't smell bad and I
lay there on the bed, from my belly button to my head.
My ass was at the side edge of the mattress and my
feet on the floor.  First Carl spread my legs apart
and then I heard him lubing up the condom on his
erection, sounded like he was jerking off.  I would
have checked it out but he had a firm grip on the back
of my neck with his left hand, pushing my face into
the mattress... more role playing as a dominant guy I
suppose.  Carl didn't hesitate... staying true to his
imagined dominant role he forced in the head of his
cock and plowed right up tight against my buttock.
"Ya like that entry, Newman? You getting off on this?"
 His fat thighs were flat against my ass, his nut sack
smacked the inside of my trembling thigh.

I couldn't answer right away because the pain rolled
up my body.  Gasping for air, "hey, take it easy,
Carl, please..!", was all I managed to say as he
withdrew five inches or so and then plowed right back
up inside me as far as he could go.  I was trying to
get off the bed after that... it hurt, but he had a
firm grip on the back of my neck with a surprisingly
strong hand holding me down.  Another pile-driving
slam up my asshole and then another and another ...
the KY lube really helped.  The pain was fading a bit
and then I felt my cock begin growing under me and
things starting to feel better quickly.  Carl was
sliding more easily in and out of me by now and he
took his hand from the back of my neck knowing I
wasn't going anyplace... he had me now.  Humping
steadily, with me snorting air through my nose
quietly... then I heard myself unexpectedly moan with
pleasure.  Carl wasn't messing around with this
fuck... it might be his best one he ever had with me.

He grunted with every fast slam up my hole.  Now with
a grip on either side of my hips, he  lifted my crotch
off the bed slightly with each of his forceful humps
up inside me.  Maybe five minutes tops and I felt my
balls start tightening up against my body.   It felt
even better than I remembered and I knew I was going
to blow my load early.  Carl had maintained a rapid
penetration from the start and I was right there on
the edge... I tried to warn him that I was about to
spunk his sheets, but it came out like a moan of
pleasure, "Carl.. ah Carl Ooh ah... Carl!" and I shot
an excellent blast of cum.  It's awesome to be fucked
so good it makes you cum without even touching your
penis.  It's the best, and I was so glad at that
moment that I'd called Carl this morning.  I actually
felt a fondness for him as cum was still drooling out
of my cock and he continued fucking my ass.

When I blew my load he squeaked and began humping me
faster and just after the last contractions from my
climax he lay, full length, on my back and using both
his hands he pulled my ass cheeks apart making them as
flat as he could make them.. then humped up into me as
deep as he's ever been and, doing short fast rabbit
quick humps for fifteen seconds he fired off his
climax.  It was actually very sensual how he was
humping that entire huge body into me, and on top of
me, making sounds of erotic rapture.  He squirmed and
rotated his large hips while climaxing.. then another
hump and a groan as more cum left his cock and then
another smaller one.  This fat boy was seriously
turned-on. Two more weak humps and he completely
collapsed on me, moaning and wheezing from the effort
of it all.

It was his best fuck of me, I knew that for sure, and
I almost hate to say it, but it was hot.  I let him
lay on me for a minute or so, but that boy weighed
about two hundred fifty pounds and I finally had to
say, "Awesome Carl, but please... you're smothering
me."  He took two big breaths and slowly got off me,
pulling his cock out of me at the same time.  I made a
"oooh" sound and he squeezed my ass affectionately
saying, "I heard you calling my name when you were
cuming.  You forgot how hot I can get ya, huh? Didn't
ya?".  He was very proud of himself so I didn't
correct him about why I called his name.

Truth is... he gave me a damn good screwing and maybe
I wouldn't mind doing it again before he leaves for
Maine.  Then, a shock...  quite a bit of liquid
drooled from my hole and down the inside of my thighs.
 I reached back thinking, "Lube from the condom?" then
a  thicker,  creamier substance plopped out of me and
then a long strand of it, followed by weaker,  watery
stuff.  I wiped back there fearing it was blood, but
it wasn't blood... it was a lot of Carl's cum. I
screamed, "You did me bareback?"  and he said, "That's
right, Dylan... I did you bareback and it was the best
fuck I ever had.  And, whats more, I'm going to do you
again in a little while... maybe twice more."

That was it. I shouted, "Oh fuck you, Carl.  You're
doing nothing of the sort and if you're not careful
you and I are going at it right now and I'm not
talking about fuckng".  He was speechless when I
added, "And for Christ sake, don't you have a
personality of your own?  Ya always got to play a role
or emulate somebody?  Be yourself for once!"   I kept
wiping at the endless drippings from my hole.  Carl
had an astonished expression when I ordered, "Get me a
towel or something."  He handed me a clean washcloth
saying, in a humble manner now, " Nobody likes my own
personality, Dylan.  And, as for doing you bareback..
you've never been fucked by anyone but me, and I only
fucked you and my cousin and always with a condom...
so there isn't any reason for concern, we're both
totally clean and safe".

I'd wiped my ass totally dry... and then thirty
seconds later more of Carl's cum would drool out so I
finally just sat on the folded up wash clothe and
said, "Still, you should have discussed it with me
first."  He sat on the bed and in a nice way said,
"You're right, of course... after your experience with
the Marine though I thought I could get away with
being tough and you'd do what I say."  My look at him
said, "Get serious!"  Carl admitted it was dumb and
then added, " I'd drop all the stupid role playing,
like you say... but I'm afraid you won't like me
then".

 Jeez, I felt kind of bad for him, but I didn't much
like him as it is, so he might as well drop the role
playing and at least try being himself.  I suggested
we didn't have anything to lose, so why not try being
"real".  He looked at me now like I was mentoring him
which is not what I had in mind.  I patted his back
noncommittally  and gave Carl a little smile of
encouragement.   He said, " I really enjoyed that sex
with you, Dylan ... didn't you enjoy it with me at
all?"

Maybe he's playing the poor soul role now, but I
didn't think so. I said, "Yeah, sure I did... it was
really hot Carl.  I gotta give ya props, dude.  I
already told ya it was awesome".  He was being nicer
than I ever remember him being.  Being humble, worked
for him.  He said his parents would be bringing pizza
home with them for Saturday night dinner and why
didn't I stay and we could do this again after dinner
if it was OK with me.  "Please, Dylan.  We both
enjoyed it and I think you like me doing you more than
you admit.  Come on, man... let's do it again later
tonight."

Well, I had nothing going on tonight.  Mom's working
and Chubby's at the barbecue and it did feel excellent
getting fucked by fat Carl.  Oh, there I go again...
he deserves better treatment from me than that. His
stupid role playing was actually his attempt to try
and accommodate me, most of the time, anyway.  He
isn't a bad guy at all so I said, "Well, if you
promise to really stop all the role playing crap and
let me get to know the real you ... then, sure, why
not.  You've been good to me Carl, I know that.  Not
just the fucking, but the mentoring and getting me
that senior editor's job and other stuff too.  Yeah,
let's do it again later, stud.  You did me good,
dude!".  Carl quickly called his Mom's cell phone and
set it up for me to stay for pizza.

We both pulled on our pants, socks and sneakers.  Carl
says, "I know I'm pushing it, but the rents won't be
here for twenty minutes at least.  How bout I trim
your hair for ya? You know how hot I am for your
hair... I'm being my honest self now, Dylan... I
really am good at cutting hair too."  I was sort of
feeling tight with Carl at the moment... I didn't
really need a haircut, but Chubby had that almost
shaved head, so him and me wouldn't be having a
haircut night for awhile.  Why the hell not... like
Chubby says "it'll grow back in two weeks", I said,
"Ok Carl, I'll take a chance on your barbering
skills... sure, go for it."

He got me seated on his desk chair with a towel on my
shoulder and with just a comb and scissors he cut my
hair in silence for quite a while.  It's the kind of
thing that gets hypnotic and trance-like, listening to
the click of the scissors and feeling the comb on my
head and running through my hair and all.. pleasant.
Carl got a boner while cutting, but I already knew he
had this weird thing for my hair and I was use to
Chubby springing boners left and right... so, no big
deal.

His mother calling up to us, saying the pizza was
here, is what finally ended the haircut.  He gave me a
hand held mirror... with that and the mirror over the
sink I could see all around my head.  Carl was more of
a professional barber then Chubby was and this looked
like a real professional haircut, although I did think
it was too short.  None the less, when I complimented
him Carl looked like a fat boy in love... I think,
with me.

He introduced me again to his parents and we had the
pizza downstairs with them and his fat sister, who
screamed at Carl that he'd cut my hair too short.
Then  she came over to run her fingers through what
was left as Carl ranted and raved to the parents that
she was out of control and needed some serious
discipline... they took deep breaths and ignored it
all.  I lost my appetite just about the moment the
tubby sister touched my head.  But for sure,  that
brother and sister combo definitely have a thing for
my hair... weird man weird!  When I reached back and
felt the very short hairs Carl had cut at my neck it
felt to me just like the Marine's clipped hairs felt
all the way up the back and sides of his head...
that's what I immediately thought of... and secondly,
I thought that the Marine wasn't seeming quite as
scary to me tonight as he did yesterday.

Later, upstairs, Carl gave me another bareback
fucking... one that he can be proud of.  He made me
cum quickly again, after only about five minutes
again. I heard him chuckling when I got frenzied
during my excellent climax. He was able to hold back
his climax for another five minutes at which time he
humped me so fast, deep and hard I squirted out
another little climax of my own just as he was
filling-up my insides with a larger load then his
earlier one.  We lay on our sides in bed with him
still inside me, and after about ten minutes, with our
breathing finally under control, he fucked me for a
while longer and had himself another little climax.
Not me, but the entire thing felt good while he was
doing it.  We both were naked this time too and after
his last climax he enveloped my body with his enormous
one saying, "Did ya like that one, Dylan?  You didn't
call out my name this time"  and he'd hugged me like
there was no tomorrow.

That went on for quite a while and I kept telling
myself to be nice and tolerate it... and you know
what, it isn't all bad being adored by someone.
After he pulled out of me I noticed the soreness
reallt set in... my hole hurt.  Carl had himself
another nice boner before we were done snuggling, but
my hole was too sore and I had to beg off, "No, please
Carl.  I'm really sore back there.  I'd like you to do
me again, but not tonight."  He said half jokingly,
"OK then, but you know how I feel about you...you'll
have to tolerate this for a minute" and he gave me
sloppy kisses until I couldn't take them any longer
and I started to tighten my body getting ready to
explode... thrashing around and throwing punches.  He
sensed it and said, "OK, I know... you don't like the
kissing."  He let go of me then, all that fat...
Jesus.  Not cool.  As I was getting out of bed, still
dabbing at my hole with the washcloth, I think he
said, really low..."I love you".  Man, what to do or
say to that?  I pretended I didn't hear it.

The half hour walk home was tough.  My hole was sore,
but the bigger problem was I had to take a crap.  This
happened once before when Carl fucked me a couple of
times in the same afternoon.  I made it home and to
the toilet, but just barely.  No one was home at
Chubby's place and no one was here at my place either
so I locked the door with the dead bolt and took a
nice long bath.  First one in a long time... it was
nice and soothing.

Laying in that warm tub of water I thought about Carl
fucking me tonight and about how good that had felt
and about how he was an OK guy when he wasn't playing
one of those stupid "roles".  When we were laying in
his bed with him hugging me he told me he was going to
lose a lot of weight this summer and when I saw him in
September maybe I'd fall for him like he's fallen for
me.  I wondered... what if he were seventy-five pounds
lighter, would I then thinks he's "hot"?   Maybe I
would, his looks were OK tonight... maybe better than
OK and he sure likes me.  Being liked by someone
carries a lot of weight when you're evaluating how you
feel about that person... doesn't it?  Then I thought
about the Marine who didn't seem to like or dislike
me.  He liked me as an object, I think... "nice body,
nice face and you got good guns too"...  that kind of
thing.  But me as a person... he didn't seem
interested.

Then the gay sex aspect of it.  I thought about the
way I climaxed when the Marine deep throated me and
compared that to the climaxes I had tonight.  The
Marine still wins I think, but Carl is in the
conversation now at least..  especially, as I said,
when he drops all that phony role playing stuff.  The
Marine, of course,  isn't role playing at all...
that's him, period.  Then I thought, " how do I feel
about Chubby and what, if anything, I should do about
that?".  There wasn't any doubt in my mind now... I
wanted to "mess around"... you know, Chubby and me.
It was getting to be more than just a fantasy to me.
"Obsession" is too strong a word... what's the right
word I wondered?

After the bath I looked out the window for Chubby
every now and then and around eleven o'clock I saw a
gray Plymouth SUV pull up to the curb.  It was that
retard, Ricky's, SUV for sure.  I went to get a
cigarette thinking Chubby will be in soon and we can
have a smoke on the step and hang out for a bit before
bed.  He was still in the car ten minutes later.  What
the fuck?  I stared at the car from my front window
and eventually Chubby got out rubbing his mouth with
the back of his hand, then fastening his cargo shorts.
 Huh?

My heart beat hard... I was afraid, but of what?  That
he and Ricky had done some gay thing together?  Chubby
leaned back in the open door for thirty seconds and
when he pulled his head back out he was groping his
crotch and again wiping his mouth.  They were talking
loudly, I could hear the  sound of the words, but not
what the words were.  Then Chubby's laughter, then
popping his head back in the car again... for a
kiss?... and then he slammed the door and waved
goodbye... he stood there watching the car until it
turned the corner.

I felt dizzy, or maybe it was my stomach.  Whatever it
was, I didn't feel good.  Chubby came up to the unit's
front door, but not to my door.  He took the stairs up
to his second floor duplex... he was whistling.
Somehow I got the guts to call up the steps, "Chubby?
You OK?"  All I heard was his door closing.   My mind
was all over the place with that horrible jealous
feeling again, but I had an exhausting day and finally
drifted off to the mercy of oblivious sleep...

to be continued...

Donny Mumford        thinat20@yahoo.com