Date: Wed, 8 Sep 2004 11:38:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: Jay Winton <spokenword87@yahoo.com>
Subject: Erik's song...last installment

Excited for the end?

Erik:

"Oh my god, I got to leave right now, I can't stay here" Erik stammered out
of his mouth.

"Are you ok?" Nathan asked as he saw Erik turn and run with tears down his
cheeks.

" I can't tell Jay, I can't" Erik said as he approached the hospital
opening. He first went to the bathroom to clean himself up, and to gather
his composer. Walking down the hallway to Jay's Room, he had the worst
guilt build up inside of him.

" Wow, what's everyone doing here?" Erik asked as he looked around and saw
everyone, the doctors, nurses, Jay's brothers, CJ, and my dad. Just then I
saw the most beautiful eyes, on the most beautiful person as my knees went
weak as I saw my baby, looking at me...smiling.

I rushed over to him, and touched his face to make sure he was real, as I
cried onto his neck as he held me.

"Babe! I thought I'd never get to touch you again, I was so scared to loose
you, I love you so much" I said as I blubbered into his neck.

My dad motioned everyone to leave; indicating that he'll take Jay's
brothers out to lunch.

"Erik, oh my god you look so beautiful...I love you so much" Jay said as he
cried right along with me. We both held each other, we didn't want to let
go, we weren't going to let go, we loved each other...that's all that
matter.

At A pizza Place:

"What are we going to do with Jay's Brothers?" CJ asked his lover.

"I don't know babe, I mean we both make enough money and we can adopt them
all...but how are they going to be without their mother?" Erik's dad
questioned.

"I don't know, but we can't leave them all alone...they're gonna have to
stay with us." CJ said.

"You're right..." Erik's dad said.

Back in the hospital room:

"I was so scared that I was going to loose you" I said to Jay as I keep
kissing him between words.

"I was scared that I wasn't going to make it" Jay chuckled until he noticed
the look on Erik's face.

"NO babe! I'm just kidding, I'd make sure that I made it, I'm never going
to hurt you or leave you alone." Jay said.

"I love you Jay"

"I love you too Erik."


2 weeks later:

"What time is the funeral?" Jay asked my dad while he sat on my lap in our
living room, on CJ's Chair.

"It's at 12:00pm, do you wanna go?" CJ asked.

"Yea why wouldn't I?" Jay questioned.

"I jus thought with-" CJ was cut off by my dad.

"He can go if he wants too, hurry up and get ready though...it's 11:15
right now" My dad said, as jay got up from my lap gave me a kiss and ran up
the stairs.

"God, I love that kid" Erik said, as his dads smirked at him.

"ERIK!" Jay called from upstairs.

"COMING!" I yelled back as I ran and bounded up the stairs.

"I want you to come with me," Jay said with a smile.

"What for?" Erik questioned...

"Just please come with me, you, CJ, and your dad" Jay said as he kissed me
in the bathroom finishing up getting ready.

I went to my room, and brought down some dress clothes and shoes, as I went
downstairs to iron them and to tell CJ and my dad.

At the Funeral:

"Would anyone like to say anything?" The pastor asked, as we stood there in
a cold, gray morning, fit for a funeral. With the leaves blowing around us
and the wind picking up...I raised my hand and approached the podium.

" I never liked my step-dad, I mean hell he raped me...but I'm not here to
do this...I'm here so right here in front of everyone that he loved...I can
confess to you everyone I love." Jay gulped as he went on, wiping a tear
from his eye.

You were the one, the one that was there...in my dreams, you answered my
Prayer.  *Jay gulped and wiped another tear from his eye.

 You believed in me did everything you could to make me Succeed. Your
words, when u speak, are like an angel breathing on my cheek.

Time goes by, but I know in my heart, the hear that tells no lies, that our
love will never die. I know that it's true, when I look at you that I need
you and want you... I crave you. I'm feeling things that I've never felt
before; I'm loving the boy that I adore. I'm falling though, is this the
end? The true test to see if what we have will ever end? I can't tell...no
one can but as for now you're the one that I give my hand. You leaving me,
my heart wouldn't be able to stand...I wish this love will last so very
long...I wish you could hear this...this love called Erik's Song.

" I love you Erik" Jay said as he looked at his step-dad's picture standing
next to his coffin...went over to it...and spoke.

" This is love...I love my mom, my brother's, Erik's dad, and CJ...I love
Erik with all my heart...and you could have been apart of that if you
opened your heart to love. But I've learned something through all of
this...when the gray clouds cover your day...the sun will always
shine...once you learn to love...I love myself...and I love you.

Jay came up to dad, CJ, and me...and hugged us.

"Let's get out of here," He said to us. I felt so overwhelmed with emotions
that I didn't even know what to do...so I cried...and cried...he put his
hand in mine...as my dad and CJ walked the other way...I knew where he was
taking me...it Was OUR spot...



...Not If I have anything to do with it...

...All of a sudden...there was that all to familiar blackness.

That's the end of Erik's song...did you love it? Cause I did...

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