Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 19:55:21 -0700
From: Samuel Forte' III <fallenangel595@hotmail.com>
Subject: finding andrew-chapter 22

** This story is a true story, telling of people and events that have taken
place in the last three to four years. I have the consent of the others who
are involved to use them, but no last names will be used for privacy
reasons. This story will focus around two people as they stumble upon each
during high school and find themselves falling for one another. They are
able to survive the trials, tribulations, and difficulties that are thrown
at them and from each other until everything comes to an abrupt end...All
rights to this story are mine (lol well it is based on MY experiences) so
no copying or publishing without my consent!**


			      Finding Andrew
		   Chapter 22 - A Day at Elitch Gardens


     I woke up around 4 that morning feeling both excited and nervous. I'd
been to movies with Tim and out to eat as well. We've been to the gym
together and even had a few more emotionally charged moments. This would be
different though. No distractions, no interruptions, just us. I turned on
the tv as I lost myself in some show until around 7:30. At that time, Tim
gave me a call.

"Hey Tim."

"Hey Sam. You up yet?"

"Yea. Didn't get much sleep last night. I've been looking forward to this
for awhile." If only he knew how much.

"Cool. Well I'm just getting up now. I need to shower and get some clothes
packed. What's the weather supposed to be like?"

"A fifty percent chance of rain. Hopefully it will hold out. This is the
only day I have off all week."

"Yea, I hope so. So what are we doing there?"

"Ride the rides, eat, maybe hit the water park..."

"The water park would be cool. Just would be nice if it would warm up
some."

"We'll see. So how do you want to do this? I've been up, but I haven't
showered or anything."

"Hmm, well just call me when you're done. And we'll go from there."

"Ok. Better yet, how about I call you at 8:30? I need to get some money
from the ATM too."

"Ok. Just call back. I'll be ready by then."

"Sounds good."

     By this time I had made a few friends on the internet that could
better relate to my situation.  Ever since Andrew passed, the feeling of
loneliness set in. I wondered if I would ever break the promise that I had
made with him. I knew that he would always be with me in spirit and
watching over me...still I couldn't help feeling lonely because when you
look at it, that was what I really was.  Having no companion was really
wearing on me. Wrestling did help ease some of the pain as I still hung out
with Justin, but it wasn't the same. Hell I wasn't the same and still will
never be. Tim was different though. Sometimes, you just meet those people
that you have a deeper bond with. He was one of the few people like that
for me. One thing that I always was around him was nervous. I stuttered a
lot, spaced out, and even just shell up altogether. I tried not to, but I
couldn't help it.

     We ended up meeting at a Carl's Jr downtown. I was patiently waiting
just watching people walking around (Palmer was across the street and most
passing people I saw were students headed to class). I was there for around
ten minutes (seemed like an eternity) until a knock on the window pulled me
out of my daze. I looked to see Tim smiling back. I rolled down the window
to greet him and also to figure out what to do. We agreed to have him
follow me home and park his car in the yard. I had just filled up the car
(gas) so I would drive. Once to my house I ran inside to get my bag of
stuff. Two t-shirts, swimming trunks, another pair of boxers and socks, and
a muscle shirt. I came back out and we were on our way.

     At first we were both quiet (I didn't get it myself), but by the time
we hit Castle Rock (the midway point of the hour drive) we were talking
nonstop. We made it there and of course wouldn't you know that I missed the
turn. I still knew my way around town good enough to make it to the park. I
purchased both of our season passes as we stood in line waiting to take our
picture. When we finally got our passes, we were in the park. I was happy
to finally get a day to relax. I still did get calls from my job, but they
were just from Kayla and Tony (both fairly new workers at the store) seeing
if I was enjoying myself. We rode a few rides taking us to about 11 when I
had to stop because my knee was starting to bother me. I waited for him
outside of a ride and popped into a nearby arcade. I got too into Tekken 3
to realize that he was probably off the ride. We didn't see each other for
at least an hour when I saw him walking around with just his undershirt
on. I never saw him with a shirt off. Obviously he changed as he also had
on some loose cargo shorts as you could just see the top of his boxers. I
finally reeled my eyes in and ran up to him and jumped on his back which
scared the hell out of him. He was mad that I left him, but once I
explained he seemed to accept my answer. We stopped to grab a bite to eat
as we were both hungry.  The menu for this lunch would be Panda Express. I
have nothing against Chinese food, but I would prefer to eat something more
filling to the eye. We ate the usual meal (fried rice, orange chicken...yes
we both eat the same thing and I know it's weird so there) while we sat and
talked about stuff. I really was having trouble keeping my eyes off of
him...I thought I got control of that in my senior year. Guess not.

"Something wrong, Sam?" He asked with a smirk. That popped me out of my
daze and I looked to his face to see a grin.

"Uhh, no. What makes you say that?"

"Well by my watch, you've been staring at me for the last five minutes. You
haven't heard a single word."

"Sorry. Just thinking about something." He gave me a look showing that he
obviously didn't believe me. I felt bad about that, but I couldn't help
it. I had the perfect antidote for that a little later...something very
helpful even for me today.

"So Sam, are you dating anyone?" I had to think of how to answer the
question without him becoming more curious.

"No interest. Still have feelings for my ex, so I'm not on the market."
Completely true, but still a nice cover. Actually I was surprised to come
up with that so quick. "What about you?"

"Not really. Just messing around with a few girls."

"Oh. Cool I guess." I did my best to hide my disappointment.

"You know you've become really quiet since Andrew died." When he said that
he had an almost inviting expression on his face. I was kind of surprised
that he would bring that up on a day like it was. Tim isn't a dumb guy at
all, but he doesn't ever try to make things too complicated.

"...Guess so..."

"I didn't mean to upset you..."

"No, it's cool really." He let me talk about all the fun times I had with
Andrew and it just made me realize how much I really missed him and how
much I was effected by him not being around. I had regressed socially and
mentally since his death (as you've seen). I was always known to be a
mentally tough person, but that was gone now. I made less of an effort to
make any friends...or keep the ones I had for that matter. I was working on
that though.

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"I know he was your best friend and all, but you guys seem like..." While
he was looking for the words to say I began to get upset. By his face, I
could tell that it was something that I would be offended by.

"Like WHAT?"

"Well like you guys were dating or something." he said with this piercing
look. Now I knew that he wasn't too fond of gay people in general, so I was
caught off guard by the comment. I did get angry with him saying it in such
a derogatory way. I sat there in silence for a few minutes when he just got
up and walked off. I sighed and just kept eating. I decided to call home
and see what everyone was doing. He could wait for now. I talked to my
sister and mom to see what they were up to. After getting off the phone, I
had to figure my next move. How should I approach Tim on the subject?
Would it be easier to just act like it didn't happen?

     I got up from the table and threw away the rest of my food. I was
going to head to the nearest arcade and just blow a few bucks to ease my
stress. I settled into a few games of DDR drawing a small crowd of
onlookers. It was a game that I was pretty good at, so I picked a few of
the harder songs just for kicks. As I finished, I stepped off the pad and
headed to a soda machine across from the arcade. I saw Tim looking back at
me. I wonder how long he had been there?

"Nice job." He said in a normal tone.

"Thanks...I guess." I said a little agitated. I didn't forget the words
between us earlier.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I just wasn't thinking."

"So I've noticed. You do that a lot when you talk to me it seems..."

"Maybe it's because you're different than most people." He fired back. A
smart remark was on the way, but I stopped short. No need in ruining what
was supposed to be a good day between friends.

"..."

"Exactly. So, do you want to go with me to get some cigarettes?" He was in
the process of stopping, but I knew that he had his times when he really
craved them.

"Where at?"

"There's a gas station close by that's outside the park."

"Sure." And with that, we were on our way to the exit.

     For just that time walking it did start to heat up a little. I was
still wearing my attire from the start (t-shirt and shorts) as he wore the
same he'd been since eating (undershirt and orange cargo shorts). As we
walked, it took every bit (and I mean EVERY) to keep from looking at him at
all. We talked about general stuff until we got there. I got candy while he
got his smokes and we were headed back to the park. On the way back in, I
made a stop at one of the gift stores to get some shades. Yup, I took the
cheap way out. I usually had shades on anyway, but I broke the last pair I
had a few days earlier. Now that my eyesight was blocked by onlookers, I
was free to look wherever (hint, hint...nothing wrong with checking out the
other guys either right?). He had already started smoking when we walked by
a group of three (two girls and a guy). I didn't have the greatest
"gaydar", but you could tell this guy was gay and he certainly couldn't
take his eyes off of Tim.  Looks like we had something in common! Well he
was a smoker too and he asked Tim for a cigarette. Tim said he would give
him one only if he would give him a blowjob which stunned the other three
of us. I also caught a slight glare from Tim, but the shades avoided a
confrontation with that. I figured he was joking and he was...until the guy
took him up on his offer. I added fuel to the fire by making the
observation that there was a bathroom a few feet away.  Tim blushed so hard
that it looked like he had a sunburn. I'm serious, his whole body turned
red. No one else heard the conversation but the five of us and I was
anxious to see what he would do. I noticed that Tim wouldn't have been too
opposed to it. His shorts now had a noticeable lump.  The other guy
obviously wasn't opposed as he was almost begging for it. I wore loose
shorts (lucky me), so I was in the clear as I sat down on a nearby bench
hunched over. Tim eventually gave him a few cigarettes as he quickly walked
away. The girls laughed along with me as I got up to follow. As I said my
goodbyes, the guy grabbed me by the arm and leaned in close. I didn't know
exactly what he planned on doing, but since we were in public I didn't get
nervous and pull away (DJ...) like I wanted to.

"I just wanted to let you know your friend is hot." He whispered in my ear.

"Yea, I know. Too bad he's straight." He let go as he looked at me
quizzically.

"Really?"

"As far as I can tell he is."

"Are you sure your gaydar is working? No way he is. He's making mine go
crazy."

"Well..."

"Did you see he was hard? Did you see the look on his face? He is gay just
like us."

"Uhh, how did you know I was?" He laughed as leaned into my ear.

"It's obvious. I've seen the two of you around all day and I see the way
you look at him. Good thing you got shades." He said as he winked. I was
beginning to get nervous as I turned to walk away. He followed and gave me
one piece of advice before walking off with his friends. "Hey. Don't let
your fear get in the way. Go after him. Worrying about what will happen is
much worse than you think.  The worse he can say is no. Give it a shot."
His words struck a chord. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Andrew
and I had started off the same way. If he wouldn't have made the first
move, there was no way that "we" would have happened. I wasn't too sure
about "making a move" on Tim, but I did think I could have a little fun
with him and see his reaction.

     I found him in line for a roller coaster as I joined him. He still
looked a little nervous, but a quick joke got him out of it pretty quick. I
messed with him about the cigarette incident and he just laughed it off. I
didn't want to push too much, so I let it go once he gave me a playful
punch in the back.  After riding a few rides, I really wanted to get
wet. It was too cold to go to the water park even though I saw that it was
packed (I tried not to look too hard). There was one other ride in the park
thought that would do the trick. There was a log ride that climbed up
around maybe twenty feet and would plunge back down into the pool. There
was a bridge over the pool that would get you fully soaked. If you were
close to the edge, you would even get hit by the wave. At one point, Tim
and I separated and I stood on the bridge twice. My shirt, shorts,
everything was soaked. The thrill of adrenaline was totally worth it as I
started to go back. I was stopped halfway when I felt a hand on my
shoulder.

"You just couldn't stay away from the water could you?" Tim asked as he
laughed. I'm sure I had to be a funny sight to see at that moment.

"Well since you are too scared, I figured I'll do it by myself."

"Really? I'm scared?"

"Well I don't see you getting wet." I knew I had him. He was the type of
guy that didn't like to get shown up. I knew what I was doing, what I
wanted to see, and how to make it happen once he came over there. No way I
was letting a free opportunity pass me by.

"Fine. Let's get on the ride...but don't complain later when you get sick."

"Whatever. Let's go."

     We made our way towards the line and the wait was only a few minutes.
It seemed longer to me, but than again I knew it would be. We were at the
front of the line when I opted to take off my shades. I didn't mind getting
wet, but no way I let those. I'm very protective of them lol. Tim got in as
well, but stepped back out to take off his undershirt......I'm horrible :)
...Oh come on. Did you really think that wasn't in the back of my head the
whole day? I can't help that my hormones still aren't under control. Once
back in, he sat beside looking at me with an "I can't believe you talked me
into this" look. I laughed as I could tell he was having second
thoughts...too late now though.  We were already on our way. As we slowly
made the climb, I could see Tim start to settle down out the corner of my
eye. We finally made our decent and soaked was an understatement. Somehow,
I forgot that BEING on the ride was worse. Tim laughed as we got off of the
ride. I really was irritated now. I had to take off the t-shirt since it
was clinging tightly to my skin and was left with my undershirt. I put the
shades back on and watched Tim get his undershirt and make his way to the
table I was sitting at. Instant boner. No thought in my head was going to
will it down. As I got up he started to laugh.

"Hmm, looks look I'm turning you on buddy." I blushed as I held my shirt
over my embarrassment.  They really do have a mind of their own at
times. My shades were my saving grace. And the fact that a security guard
made him put his shirt back on a few minutes later.  After a few more
rides, we decided to call it a day. It was around 6pm when we were back on
I-25 headed home.

     On the ride home he mostly slept. It was still a little chilly
outside, so I turned on the heater.  We both really needed it on to help
our clothes dry and it was becoming really hot. He surprised me as he would
strip down to his boxers and socks and go to sleep.  Concentrating on the
road was difficult as he let down the seat and stretched out to get a nice
nap. I swerved a few times as I couldn't help but steal looks at
him. Thankfully, towards the last half hour I was able to control
myself. When we got back to my house, he didn't even dress as he put his
bag on his car taking out his change of clothes. He asked if it was ok for
him to grab a shower and, of course, I gave the go ahead. While he was
taking his shower, (which the bathroom in the basement is right next to my
room) I heard familiar sounds coming through the wall...and yea you know
what sounds I'm talking about. I didn't say anything (more like I couldn't)
and just continued to watch TV until I heard the water cut off. He had left
his clothes in my room and came in with a towel wrapped around his
waist. He picked up the clothes and said thanks as he dropped the towel and
got dressed. As curious as I was, I didn't have the balls to steal a look
while he was changing. At that point, I honestly think that I would have
just shot in my shorts. It had been that kind of day all day long. Once he
was done, we talked for a few minutes until he left to head home.

"Tim, I just wanted to say thanks for hanging out with me today." Corny but
I couldn't think of anything else to say. Really I couldn't piece anything
together since I was such a mess in the head.  He was in my room sitting on
my bed smiling back at me. I suppressed the thoughts in my head...at least
until he left. That was a tough thing to do as pretty much a lot of things
had been that day.

"Anytime bud. Well I guess I should head back home." He said with a wink.
Everything in my head was yelling to tell him to say. All I could do was
nod. I walked him out to his car and watched him drive away as we waved. I
let out a nervous sigh as I headed back into my room. Instead of doing what
I really wanted to do, I opted to tell Jake about what happened. I found
him in no time and explained in detail the events at Six Flags. After I
gave him the story, I asked him what he thought of it. He shared the same
thoughts that the guy did earlier. After giving it some thought, I came
face to face with something that I had been avoiding like the plague for
the previous couple of years. I was finally going to come out the closet...

*****************************************************************************

So what happens next? Who was told? What was the reaction? The next two
chapters are very interesting. The beginning of a new life in a few
different ways. Well, my next day off is Thursday so hopefully I'll be able
to get it out by then.

Chapter 23 - Stepping Out the Closet