Date: Sat, 20 Feb 2016 16:20:27 +0000
From: Matthew S <mattstories@hotmail.com>
Subject: Finding My Voice - Chapter Nine

Hi guys,

This is my first time ever writing a story though I've been an avid fan of
Nifty for a while. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while and
would greatly appreciate any feedback you have for me. Please feel free to
email me at mattstories@hotmail.com even if it's just to tell me that you
liked/hated the story. Apologies for any typing, spelling or grammatical
errors.

This story will contain sexual scenes but is also a story about a teenage
boy growing into himself and his sexuality. Although I have borrowed from
my own life and experiences, any events that seem similar to your own lives
are purely coincidental.

All copyrights for this story are held by me. If it is not legal for you to
read this story then that is a decision that you need take for yourself but
any consequences of that decision are yours.

- - - - - - - - -

The story so far:

Our main character, Aaron, is 13 years old and suffers from a crippling
shyness which makes social situations difficult for him. School sent him on
a trip to Germany, during which time he rooms with three older boys; Adam,
Danny and Kieran. Aaron has had a serious crush on Kieran all year and
eventually, after much deliberation, he built up the courage to kiss his
dream boy. Friendships have built up with the other two boys as well,
particularly when Aaron helped out Danny when he was being threatened by a
girl, Kelly, who was going to say that Danny had sexually assaulted
her. Aaron has just found out that Kieran had noticed him long before this
Germany trip and had even been the one to suggest Aaron be made to go. This
has left him feeling quite lost and confused. To make matters worse, Kelly
has just brought from the boys from her popular group and attacked Aaron.

- - - - - - - - -

Finding My Voice - Chapter nine.

The only fight I'd ever been in was way back when I was 7 at the end of
Year 2. I'd been playing on some of the new playground equipment at my
Primary School when another boy came over and demanded that I get off. When
I refused, he pulled me to the ground and hit me in my stomach. I say it
was a fight but, in truth, I didn't do anything. I just curled up into a
little ball and began to cry while the teacher pulled him off me. The
school decided to send me home and I remember spending the rest of the day
in a bit of a daze; just so shocked that someone could do that to me,
well... to anyone really. Since then, my chosen invisibility had kept me
off the radars of bullies and thugs at my school so I'd been pretty safe
physically... until now anyway.

After that second hit, I didn't see anything else but, it's strange, it's
almost like I could still hear what was happening. I've flashing memories
of Danny's voice shouting with such fury behind it that just the memory
makes me shiver. Then a soft voice in my ear, almost a whisper. It
sounded... broken; was the person crying? There was a woman as well but it
wasn't Kelly. The voice was too low for her, too commanding; it had to be
an older woman. Then it all disappeared again.

Cold. That was the only thought that came to mind. Sight still escaped me
but I knew there were things all over me, cold prying things... hands! They
were hands! Who was touching me? Voices spoke around me but I couldn't
understand a word; they sounded hurried. It was getting louder and louder
and then nothing, it all stopped and fell away.

Someone was fiddling with my arm. I knew they were there but I couldn't
open my eyes, I couldn't speak to them. My arm fell back down, hitting
something soft, and I heard the shuffling of feet and a door closing as I
finally managed to force my eyes open.

Light filled the room, so much so that I instantly closed my eyes again
purely from reflex. Little by little, and shielding them with my right
hand, I took a first look at my surroundings. I was in a hospital bed, that
much was clear. There were two large windows to my right and a wooden door
to the left; it was a private room with a dirty old chair in the
corner. Wires twisted out of my body and into the various different
machines around the bed; they were beeping regularly so I assumed I was
ok. My head hurt though, a dull ache that seemed to be punctuated by the
occasional sharp pulse that sent waves of pain across my body.

"Oh thank God!" came a voice from the door. It felt familiar; it was the
same female voice I'd heard before - Miss Raymond! "Do not scare me like
that again Aaron! We thought... well... it doesn't matter now. You're ok."
Miss Raymond had always presented herself to the highest standards; she
dressed well and always ensured that her look gave off the correct vibe
but, as she came to my bedside, I could see the clearly sleepless night she
had had. Her dishevelled hair told of a night spent sleeping in one of
these hospital chairs and of long, stressful conversations with doctors and
nurses. Still unable to speak, I stared at her for a moment. My lips began
to move and she reached over for a glass of water, forcing me to drink some
down. Thirst quenched and lips wet, I coughed to clear my throat. Looking
at my teacher, I simply asked; "What happened?"

As it turns out, Kelly hadn't been too happy about me recording her and had
spent the morning going to all of the other year 8 boys on the trip and
telling them how I had attacked her. She had spun a good tale and batted
her eyelashes enough that each one of them vowed to get me back for her so,
when she saw me alone outside the hotel, she had seized her chance and set
her attack dogs on me. Miss Raymond was very honest with me; the beating
had gone on for a little while after I blacked out. The boys began to kick
me as I lay unconscious on the floor and, given how much Kelly was
encouraging them to get more and more violent, I think it would have had
truly disastrous consequences for me if Danny hadn't come flying out of the
gym and jumped on the nearest boy.

"Now you should know that I don't condone violence," Miss Raymond began,
remembering her status as my teacher, "But, honestly, that boy was like a
man possessed. He threw each of those boys away from you without so much as
breaking a sweat and then stood between them and you. He even scared me
when I was dragged down to you by Kieran."

Kieran... at the sound of his name, a range of emotions flashed through my
mind. He lied to me, manipulated me. He doesn't care about me. I'm
surprised he didn't leave me there to...

"You're lucky Aaron," came Miss Raymond's voice. Soft and clear as it cut
through my thoughts. The confusion must have been showing on my face
because she continued, "That boy refused to leave your side. He was with
you when you were laid there on the floor; he demanded to come in the
ambulance with you. God, he even slept in his room on that chair until I
made him go back to the hotel to get something to eat and a clean set of
clothes."

"But..." the words caught in my throat.

"You've made a real friend there Aaron and I'm glad. I was beginning to get
worried about you."

"But... he... he tricked me into coming on this trip," I said, in a voice
that sounded very much like a 4 year old telling his mum that someone broke
his toy.

"What are you talking about?"

"He told Mr Holmes to make me come here," it sounded even more pathetic
this time around.

Her laugh surprised me, "Oh Aaron I'm sorry," she said when she calmed
herself, "But do you honestly think that the teachers at your school, not
to mention your mother, pushed you into coming her just because some random
year 10 boy hinted that it might be a good idea?"

I must admit, the idea did sound pretty ridiculous when you put it like
that.

"You're giving him far too much credit. Kieran's a lovely boy and he's
relatively bright but he certainly isn't capable of turning all of the
adults in your life into puppets that follow his every whim. You were sent
on this trip because we all thought it would be good for you. It has been
too, aside for the events of last night. Now, I need to go speak to the
doctors to find out when we can get you out of here. I'll be back soon."

God, what a fool I'd been. She was right; I was over-thinking this. Sure,
Kieran did suggest that I come along to my Head of Year but did I honestly
think he was capable of faking everything that had happened? I'd been so
surprised that I'd let my thoughts run away with me and panicked when I
became trapped by them. Still... there was a part of me that was black with
doubt ...

Over the next hour, I was prodded and poked by several different people. An
older lady, with tiny circular glasses and silvery hair tied back in a bun,
questioned me incessantly. Luckily, this time, I had Miss Raymond to act as
translator otherwise it would very much have been a repeat of my experience
with the German public on the high street yesterday morning. My answers
seemed to be making the situation better rather than worse so that was a
positive sign and Miss Raymond eventually told me that the doctors said I
could leave in a few hours if the next batch of tests came back showing
positive results.

As they left, I found myself fiddling with something just above my left
hand. Looking down, I could see two bright colours weaved together to form
a band around my wrist. Blue and white contrasted beautifully together and
I recognised it as one of the bracelets I'd been admiring in the shop
yesterday morning. Kieran, it must have been. He had bought one of these to
surprise me. Immediately, my eyes began to water. It was such a small
action that, right then in that moment, had such a big impact. I knew who
Kieran was and I shouldn't have let myself become confused by a silly
throwaway thought. I still had questions and I needed answers but I knew
that my feelings for him were real and I was pretty sure that his feelings
for me were too.

I was moments away from falling into a much needed sleep when a nurse came
into my room holding a phone. I couldn't quite understand what she said but
I think she made reference to my mother. True enough, when I took the phone
from her, my mum's voice came pouring through from the other side;

"Aaron, I'm so sorry! I can't believe I sent you, I'm so sorry..." that
stream of apologies carried on for at least the first 40 seconds or so
until I eventually stopped her.

"No. Mum, stop. You were right." A stunned silence seemed to come through
from her side of the conversation. "Coming here was exactly what I needed
and this one thing doesn't change that."

I think she was quite taken aback by my response considering how hard I'd
fought to stay at home. Given that it's just mum and I at home, she is very
protective of me and demanded that I be on the next plane back to England
so she could look after me. She started talking about how she needed to
protect me and keep me safe. To stop all the horrible people in the world
getting to me. Her words, designed to make me feel safer, had quite the
opposite effect; it was like the walls were coming in around me and I knew,
immediately, that I couldn't go home right now.

"No mum," I said quietly.

She paused her stream of speech, "What was that my baby?"

"I said no, I'm not coming home." She didn't respond and, in those brief
moments, I doubted whether or not I'd done the right thing. It would be so
much easier to go back home and pretend like this trip had never happened;
to let my mum take that protective role over me and retreat away from the
world again but... I actually didn't want to.

She began to speak but I cut her off, something I don't think I'd done in
years, "Listen to me mum. You sent me here for a reason and you were
right. I've spent too long inside my own little world; hiding away from the
people around me. These last few days, I've felt things I never thought I
could feel and I don't want to go back to that way of living my life."

I waited for her to respond, expecting her to jump in, but she didn't. I
continued, "Mum, I know you're scared for me. I'm scared for me too but I'm
more worried about what will happen if I stop his now and leave these new
friendships behind."

I explained how being here had opened up a new part of me, told her about
the new friends I had made and the new experiences I'd been having though I
did leave out the information about the experiences I'd had with Kieran;
that's a whole different conversation for another time.

"So you see I won't come home now. I can't come home now mum." I finished,
my heart pounding in my chest as I awaited her response.

Then I heard it. She was sobbing. Images of my mum's beautiful face with
tears staining her cheeks came into my mind and I nearly waivered. I nearly
took back everything I had just said and agreed to return; I wouldn't be
the one to cause her this pain. But I was wrong. Just like with Kieran, I'd
jumped to conclusions;

"Aaron, my wonderful boy," she sighed, "I have never been more proud of you
than I am right now. You're so right. You get that wisdom from your father
you know? He always had a different way of seeing things. Ok sweetheart,
stay there but what will you do about those vile people who attacked you?"

"Miss told me that they are being sent back. Apparently, the police are
waiting to talk to them."

That seemed to ease her last few worries. We talked for a further 5
minutes, which contained at least 12 more 'I love you' statements from her,
and it ended up with both of us in tears of happiness. When the nurse
returned to get the phone, I'd already fallen asleep.

My dreams were chaotic to say the least. The seemed to revolve around
Kieran; flashes of him kissing me were mixed with images of his face
crying. Everything swirled together into a huge mess of confusion and began
to darken as my dreams called forth the memory of the punches I'd
received. It was then that I felt something heavy on my hand. My eyes shot
open and I pulled away from this unknown intrusion. As I did, I saw
Kieran's face fall; he'd misunderstood. Immediately, he started babbling;

"Aaron I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to control you, that's not what was going
on. I understand if you hate me now and don't want to..."

Reaching up, I took hold of his t shirt and he fell silent. The look on his
face said everything; in that moment, I knew that all of my initial
thoughts had been wrong. What he felt for me was genuine. I pulled him
closer, and my lips met his. Frozen at first with shock, he soon responded
and his lips rubbed against mine. This was not a passionate kiss; there was
no grabbing of heads, no pulling off of clothes. This was a kiss that
carried an important message; a kiss that told Kieran that everything was
ok and told me that he did, indeed, care deeply about me.

While waiting for the test results, we spoke in depth about everything that
had happened so far. Kieran explained that he had gone to my Head of Year
because he knew from watching me that I didn't really talk to anyone. In
fact, when he tried to find out my name, the majority of the people in my
year group didn't even know I existed. Concerned, he did the only thing he
could think of to do and that planted the seed in Mr Holmes's head to
secure me a place on this trip.

"Yes, that meant that it was possible that we would get to spend time
together but I was never going to force it, it's just been a fantastic
by-product."

He explained that if I had roomed with people from my year group then he
would have just tried to talk to me at another point but as soon as he
realised that I wasn't going to be with them, he seized the opportunity.

"I don't want you to think that this is something I had planned all
along. These last few days have been wonderful and I would hate for you to
think that I just tricked you into sharing a bed with me. I didn't even
know that the rooms were going to be double beds so I was as surprised as
you were."

Every word out of his mouth was genuine. I didn't need to question him,
didn't need to doubt; I knew in my soul that he was being honest. The tears
streaming from his eyes when he talked about how he felt when I found me
unconscious on the floor were enough to start me crying. I pulled him in
for another kiss, feeling his tongue entering my mouth as we explored and
comforted each other again. I don't know how long we were doing that for
but we were interrupted as the door swung open and Miss Raymond stepped in,
"Get ready, your test results are... oh!" She paused for a moment and then,
taking it in her stride, she calmed asked Kieran to go and wait outside
while I gathered my things so that the taxi could take us back to the
hotel. My lover and I shot a glance at each other, the fear clear in both
of our eyes.

- - - - - - - - -

Thank you for reading chapter nine of my story. I hope you enjoyed it -
please feel free to give me any feedback at mattstories@hotmail.com, I'd
really appreciate it.

I've started a new story. It has a very different feel to this one and is
based much more around the sexual exploration of an older teen who finds
himself single; it's a bit darker and grittier than this but you might
enjoy it. It's called 'Young, Free and Newly Single' and is located in the
Gay/Highschool section of Nifty. Please go check it out and let me know
what you think.

The feedback so far from you guys has been amazing. I am genuinely
overwhelmed by the support and encouraging words you have sent me so thank
you very much. It really does mean a lot to get that sort of response from
you.