Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2010 06:49:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shadow <darkshadowcasting84@yahoo.com>
Subject: Finding Myself Within Eric, Chapter 10

This story contains scenes of love and sexual interaction between teen
males. If the reading this material is illegal in your country, state,
province, county, municipality, etc., please leave this site immediately
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please do not do so.

The author retains all copyright, and rights to this original story.  You
may not publish it or any part of it without explicit permission from me
and me only!  This story is completely fictional in every way and places
and characters mentioned DO NOT exist in real life.

Feel free to email me with comments or suggestions at
darkshadowcasting84@yahoo.com
Special thanks to my editor Nate.
Thanks For Reading!

Finding Myself Within Eric- Chapter 10

       "Who are you" were the only words that came out of his mouth. I felt
my heart break, actually more like shatter into a million pieces.

"Hunny, this is Jack. Do you remember that name?"

	He looked over at her and then looked back at me. I was struggling
to keep things together and I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder.

"Jack. No, I don't think I remember a Jack."

"Eric, you have to remember me. We have been together for the past month or
so. We go to school together at Fillmore, stop playing around.



	I was on the verge of frantic. If I wasn't there already.

"Sorry man, my memory is a little fuzzy."

	I could feel my eyes becoming tearful, clinching my fist forcing
myself to stay as calm as possible.

"Hunny, you do remember us leaving Arizona, right?"

"Yeah, I remember that, and everything before that. At least I'm pretty
sure. And I know I'm a heck of a baseball player. But after that nothing."

	Just in there was a soft knock at the door.

"I have brought flowers."

	There was a boy a bit taller than me walking in the door towards
Eric's bed. He had tanned skin, like someone that spends all their time
outdoors, blonde highlighted hair, light blue eyes, and perfect white
straight teeth. He sat the flowers on a nightstand and leaned over to kiss
Eric on the forehead.

"Hey baby."

	His mother gave an unwelcoming smile.

"Hello Victor."

	She said his name like she didn't want to say it at all.

"Hello Emily."

	He said in a sly voice like he knew he wasn't supposed to be there
and he didn't care. But the moment I heard Victor's name I got angry.

"Umm...Jack... this is my boyfriend Victor, do you know him too?"

"Sweetie, Jack and I have never met."

       He said running his fingers through Eric's hair. He walked over back
towards me holding out is hand.

"Nice to meet you Jackie. Are you one of my Eric's friends around here?"

	I couldn't hold myself back. The next thing I knew I had punched
Victor square in the jaw, causing him to fall over unto the floor. I heard
my mother gasp and Eric's mom was hiding a giggle.

"What the hell was that for?"

	I could still feel the rage boiling inside of me. I felt my mother
hand touch my arm trying to lead me away, but I slugged her off, pushing
Victor aside and walked over towards the bed were Eric was sitting. He had
the look of horror in his eyes, but he didn't say anything. It was still
hard to be this close to him knowing that he is alive, that he is awake. I
just stood there starting into his eyes, as he stated back at me. The room
was quite, besides Emily and Victor started arguing about how he shouldn't
even be here. I just wanted to drown out the world, and just have Eric in
the room.

	The good thing was he was staring back at me now. Softness in his
eyes, like he knew he was hurting me and trying his best to remember.

"Eric, just tell me you remember me please."

	I was beyond the point of breaking. Beyond self control. I was
slowly slipping away in the darkness of my mind, going beyond the point of
no return. It was then when I truly realized how much I loved him. How much
I needed him in my life. I leaned more into him. Taking in his scent, his
essence inside of me. I kissed him.  Not just a simple meaningless
kiss. But a kiss from the very core of my soul. At first he wasn't kissing
me back, but then our tongues met. Moist and wet as they were, they danced
like they never did before. His lips were still so soft, so sweet, his
tongue like candy.

	I didn't hear everything in the room go quite. It was like me and
Eric was in our own world. I slowly pulled away from him, opening my eyes
to look right back into his. He wasn't starting back though. Not like I
hoped. He had his eyes closed, breathing slowly like he was in deep
thought. He was trembling slightly but you wouldn't have noticed unless you
were as close to him as I was. But pulled back further, though I didn't
want to, but I knew he needed some space. I forced myself to look around
the room. Victor was good, and my mother and Emily were just standing in
front of the bed smiling. I heard Eric start to speak but then he
stopped. He started again more slowly.

"Jack... I'm sorry... I don't want to hurt you, you seem like a really nice
guy but-?"

	He paused taking a long deep breath.

"I'm sorry but... I just don't know who you are, and after what you hit
Victor and- I'm not sure if I want to."

	I froze. There was nothing more that I could do. I was truly and
utterly defeated.

	I left the hospital that night. My mother didn't say anything about
what happen with my visit with Eric, and I'm glad she didn't. I wasn't sure
if I was ready for the talk about her son being gay. I don't think I ever
would be. I wish that I could turn this off. But I know that is not
possible. I was made this way. These feelings have lied dormant in me for
years and Eric was the one who brought them to the surface.

	I went upstairs to my room and locked the door. I was trying to
make it to the bed but I barely went two steps before I collapsed on the
floor. I started screaming. In terror, heartache, loss, fear, in the name
of God, I screamed. My whole body was shaking, violently shaking. I banged
my head on the door, but I couldn't move nor see through the tears, that I
feared would turn red with blood. I laid there and screamed until my voice
gave way, till tears refused to come from my swollen eyes. It was then I
felt arms around me. Holding me tightly.

"I'm so sorry mom."

	I said in barely even a whisper. I felt like I was on the verge of
breaking down again, but she just help me even closer.

"There is nothing to be sorry about dear. I love you no matter what."

	For the first time in my life, I held my mother. She helped me up
into the bed, leaving only for a moment to get a glass of water, a cool
towel and a couple of pills.

"Here take this. It will help you sleep."

	She handed me the pills and I took them laying back down on the
bed. She took the cool towel and placed it over my eyes and set next to me.

"I'll stay here until you are able to fall asleep, then I will let you get
some rest and go down to talk to your father. But I'll be checking on your
throughout the night."

	I just nodded my head, glad that she was there right next to
me. The sleeping pills were kicking in and even through exhaustion the only
thing I was able to think about was Eric's face.



(Eric's Point of View)

	For some reason I felt pain. Not a physical pain but emotional
pain. Victor never came back, and I don't think I wanted him to either deep
down. All I could think about was Jack. The way he acted it was obvious him
and I are very close. But there was something about his kiss, they gave me
flashbacks. They were blurry and unclear, but they were there.



Authors Note:

Hello everyone thanks so much for all the comments I have gotten so far.
They really keep me going in writing this. Sorry it took so long also, I'm
in college so I had to deal with life stuff first. I got really emotional
writing this chapter, and I hope that come across cause I was almost crying
when I was writing it (lol). Best wishes to everyone who reads and I will
try to get the next chapter up really soon.