Date: Sat, 8 May 2010 18:29:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: Shadow <darkshadowcasting84@yahoo.com>
Subject: Finding Myself Within Eric, Chapter 11

This story contains scenes of love and sexual interaction between teen
males. If the reading this material is illegal in your country, state,
province, county, municipality, etc., please leave this site immediately
and do not proceed further.  If you are under the legal age to read this,
please do not do so.

The author retains all copyright, and rights to this original story.  You
may not publish it or any part of it without explicit permission from me
and me only!  This story is completely fictional in every way and places
and characters mentioned DO NOT exist in real life.

Feel free to email me with comments or suggestions at
darkshadowcasting84@yahoo.com

Special thanks to my editor Nate.

Thanks For Reading!

Finding Myself Within Eric, Chapter 11

       My dreams were filled with nightmares. Of the accident, of Eric
never remembering who I am. I remember many times that night I woke up
screaming, and my mother was right there next to me as she said she would
be. I woke up sometime that afternoon, my head was killing me but my heart
was hurting me worse. I didn't want to get out of bed; frankly, I didn't
want to do to anything. But I thought maybe a long hot shower would help
me. When I got out of my bed and made my way to the hallways my mother was
on her way up the stairs. She had a sad look on her face, but smiled when
she saw that I was out of my room.

"Go head and do what you have to, I'll go ahead and straighten up your room
a bit."
	I just nodded and made my way into the bathroom and locked the
door.  I turned on the water has hot as I could stand it, and took off my
clothes. I caught a look at myself before I entered the shower. There was
no scars, no obvious signs that I has just been in an accident. I had lost
a lot of weight; my eyes seemed darker, ghostly even. When I stepped in the
shower the hot water felt like knives hitting my skin, but it felt good. I
just stayed there letting the water fall upon my skin. Wishing it could
wash away this nightmare that I alone have created. I wanted to cry again,
but my eyes wouldn't allow me to anymore.

(Eric's Point of View)

"Hey hunny, how are you feeling today?"

"I didn't sleep much. My brain won't turn off."

	We both started laughing and she came over to the bed sitting next
to me.

"Mom. Were me and Jack close?"

	She paused for a bit, with a smile.

"You would talk about him all the time. Yesterday was the first time that I
have ever met him, but he was always over, or you were always over his
house. And when you two were apart, he was the only thing you ever wanted
to talk about."

"He is very cute."

	We both started laughing again then the doctor came in for his
rounds.

"Eric, let me say again, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, besides this memory issue."

"Yes Doctor Moore, do you think my son will ever get his memory back?"

"Well, Eric have you been having flashbacks of any kind?"

"Well last night I had some nightmares, of being in a car accident, but
nothing to concrete. Everything is real blurry."

"Well, that is very good news. Most don't even start to have those for a
few weeks after memory loss, or ever. I'm going to take you to get a few
CAT scans and stuff done, and I will be able to tell you for sure, but I
can tell you it looks very promising."

(Jacks Point of View)

	After the shower, I went back to my room to find something to
wear. When I went in the room as filled with sunlight, everything looked
neat and tidy, and I wondered if my mom really did all this, because I have
never really seen her clean much at all. I went over to the curtains and
shut them; I wasn't in the mood for sunlight. I walked over to my closet,
trying to find something to wear, finding that my brain could not process
the amount of clothes, so I just went over to my dresser to throw on a
t-shirt and some sweats. I heard a soft knock on the door. I wasn't really
much for seeing anyone, but I went over anyway and opened the door.

"Might I come in so we can talk for a bit."

	I found myself just staring at my father. I wasn't sure if I was
ready for this talk with him. I'm sure that by now, he knows everything,
but what I wasn't sure about was the way he would handle everything.

"Yeah, sure I guess."

	I stepped over and I walked over to the bed, laying down looking up
at the ceiling and he sat down at the end.

"Son, I know we were never really close, but I want you to know you can
always talk to me and tell me anything that's on your mind."

	I simply nodded keeping my eyes towards the ceiling.

"Your mother tells me that you are into this whole homosexual thing. Now
I'm not sure what that whole thing is about and I was hoping you can
explain it in details."

	It was then I looked at him. I felt the anger brewing within me. I
wasn't sure if I could control it.

"Dad it's not just some `thing', some new hip way of life, it's a part of
me."

"A part of you how?"

	I knew I wasn't going to be able to control myself for this
conversation yet, and I knew I had to get out of it fast before I say
something that I would regret.

"Dad, I'm tired and I really don't want to have this conversation with you
right now. Can you please leave?"

"Now, Jackson, I know this is embarrassing but we need to talk about
this. What is this gay thing all about? Why do you think this thing suits
you? What would this mean for your future? What does Eric have to do with
all of this?"



"Dad! You really want to know what this whole "gay thing" is all about! You
want to know how I love the way Eric touches my skin, how I fall apart when
he kisses me, how I love the way his tongue tastes against mine!"

"Calm down, I don't need to know the intimate details."

	I had gotten out of bed at this point. Looking him right in the
eye.

"No Dad, I think you do. I think you need to how I dream about him, how I
love the way my dick feels in his mouth, how I long for him to FUCK ME! You
want to know what this whole `gay thing' is about, YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I
LONG TO HAVE HIS BIG FAT DICK IN MY ASS DAD! HOW I LOVE HIM WITH, AND HOW
HE USE TO LOVE ME BEFORE I FUCKED THAT UP!"

	Everything seemed black around me, the rage kept pouring out of me,
as I could see the pain, sorrow and regret in this eyes. I felt someone
touch me, and I swung around almost hitting my mother. My father grabbed me
then, holding me so tight, I could barely breathe.

"Son, calm down, we are trying to help you."

"I DON'T WANT TO CALM DOWN! I WISH I WAS NEVER FUCKING BORN! I DIDN'T YOU
GIVE BIRTH TO ME YOU INCONSIDERATE BITCH."

	I saw my mother burst into tears but I didn't care. I was beyond
redemption, beyond repair. I heard another person come into the room and a
gentle sting in my arm before collapsing unto the ground.



(Eric's Point of View)



	The test went very well. The doctor is saying that it looks like I
will make a full recovery. But right now I have to live what I know, and
that is my life with Victor.


I want to thank everyone for reading this story. If you want updates of
when the next chapter will be posted please join the Yahoo group at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shadowcastingcollections