Date: Sun, 5 Feb 2006 22:54:49 -0800 (PST)
From: Vijorge Potal <v_potal@yahoo.com>
Subject: Finding Myself  chapter 1

The story contains graphic sexual scenes involving
homosexual boys
if this type of thing offends you, leave now!
If underage in your area leave as well

This is a fiction story about coming to terms with
yourself and teen love so none of it is true! if by
anymeans it is not for you leave now!

the author (v_potal) claims all copyrights to this
story and no duplicating what so eve except to the
site it is posted on

comments are always welcome but please do understand
that  this is my first story...email it to
v_potal@yahoo.com

now to the story....

Finding Myself

	life has its ups and its downs, the good the bad and
all the in betweens of life in highschool at home and
as a teenager all mixed into one, this is my story
that im going to tell you.

It was another boring day in my life, here I am Victor
Polisantos a transfer student from honolulu hawaii
entering Angula Creek High School in a city called
Elk Grove. When my mom told me of the place where my
aunt was residing i was like what? literaly i had to
say what because i have never heard of such a place.
My mother and i have come to an agreement back when i
was in hawaii that i would finsih my highschool years
in california because she was in the process of going
through a divorce with her soon to be ex-husband
Darren Amstel, here was a guy who i didnt like from
the very beginning he was an intellegent man, the
smartest person i probably known but his dick has a
mind of its own if you know what i mean, thank god he's
going to be out of my life now.  So here i am my first
official day at Angula Creek god what a drag this is
going to be. Oh before i forget let me tell you a bit
more about myself, im 16 now, a junior, i got dark
brown eyes and i guess you can say im an okay looking
guy, im not really into dating because i know in the
end it will lead to heart break and i cant deal with
the stress and emotions that come with it at this age
HELL NO!..boy thats about to change real soon, i guess
if you were to label me on what i wear i guess you can
say im a bit of punk with a hint of hip hop..if that
even makes any sense to you people out there, anyways
i love basket ball its what ive known and what i grew
up around all my life my favorite player, Celtic's
shooter Larry Bird!!!! Oh i almost forgot i have a
Ford Focus that i got for my 16th birthday present
from my moms, its my BABY, midnight blue with custom
interior, 10 disc cd changer, anyways on with the
story.

	As i was driving to school i pulled out my schedule
to read that i got: Mythology 1st period, You and Law
2nd period, Health 3rd period, lunch then World
Geography 4th period, as i was looking at my schedule
this dumb ass kid almost gets hit because he wasnt
looking on where he was going, so i had to fucking
brake hella fucking fast or he would have been
pancaked, i stopped and watched the kid not even
notice that he almost got hit, like he was totaly
cought up in his own thoughts, so i did what i had to
do i got out of my car and headed for the kid:

-"hey bro!"..nothing...."BRO!"
-"huh?.."
as the kid came back from outerspace i got a better
look at him, he had the! most gorgeous eyes i have
ever seen..Gorgeous?..what the fuck am i thinking this
is a dude, man but he also had a killer smile but yet
he looked younger than me id say in the 10th grade.
-i gave a nervous giggle.." ummm are you
okay?..because you almost got ran over just a minute
ago"
-"oh my bad, im sorry im having an off day thats all,
sorry about that bro."he gave a small smile
-"hey its no problem man just take it easy okay?"..as
i checked my watch it was 730 i had 10 minutes to get
to class or be late on my first day, that aint gonna
happen.
-"oh shit 730, hey bro gotta go almost late for
school, take care aight?"..i hurried my ass to my car
and left!

_________

Marco's point of view:

"What the hell did just happened last night"..here i
am walking to school very slowly re-imagining the
events that occured last night:

LAST NIGHT:

-"mom"
-"yes marco?"..my mom said
-"ummm, can we talk?. its rather urgent, i need to
tell you something very important."
-"what is it sweety?"
-i gulped real hard and said the words i thought i
would never say." im gay"..complete dead silence in
the whole house, you can literaly drop a coin and hear
it echo, i was hella scared
-"....."
-"mom say something, be mad,sad do something this
silence is killing me!."..i pleaded
-"i..i..i would have never thought that you were gay
Marco, sweety are you sure?"
-"yes im posotive that im gay."
-*sigh*" you know i love you sweety right? and no
matter what your still my son and i wont judge you its
just a shock to me that you would be..i mean i had no
idea"
-giggling" i didnt either till i found out i just
wasnt attracted to girls like i thought i would be."
-"well were gonna go talk some more about this issue
were not done, but go to sleep its 1230am you got
scool tomorrow."
-"alright mom" i walked up to her knelt down and
kissed her goodnight" i love you"
-"i love you too swe...."

i got interrupted by a loud voice that i never heard
before.
-"BRO"
-"huh?"
-"ummm are you okay?..because you almost got ran over
just a minute ago"
i was so confused not only because of the things the
guy was saying but, i got transfixed onto his face, he
had to most angelic face i have ever seen, and he isnt
that big niether bigger and taller but not big
i said what i could say
-"oh my bad, im sorry im having an off day thats all,
sorry about that bro"
-"hey its no problem man just take it easy okay?"
i couldnt say anything i was just staring at him this
whole time, i saw him look at his watch
-"oh shit 730, hey bro gotta go almost late for
school, take care aight?"
and just like he appeared he disappeared, "will a
gorgeous guy like him ever even consider going out
with a guy like me?"..i thought, let me give you a
better understanding, im 14 a freshmen, im
salvadorian, hazel eyes and i stand oh about
5'6,5'7..oh and i have a crush on a stranger.
his words were creeping back into my head.."730"..i
almost forgot school! i totaly forgot about that i was
so cought up with things i didnt even notice, so i ran
all the way to school, i thought "god im so gonna get
it from mom when she hears i got a tardy on my first
day.", but that wasnt on mind while i was running the
whole time i was thinking wether i would ever see him
again...well no time for day dreaming gotta get to
class.

-------------------------------------

 God 2 more classes then i can go home and relax thank
god!, man my day so far has been a drag, i met this
kid in my mythology class Mark hes a kick ass dude,
white prolly 6 feet tall and cute, we got the talking
and got into trouble because we werent paying
attention to what we were doing in class, we had to
make a banner for our class, mark and i didnt see
where we were going and we walked right over the
banner with mud tracks all over it, we got lectured
but we laughed it off, im gonna really like hanging
with mark he invited me to hang with him at lunch
today so i said yeah i mean i got noone else to hang
with so i said yeah.
So here i am in the begining of my 3rd period class, i
met my teacher Mr.Peski, god what a flamer, you can
clearly tell that hes gay with the lisp going on and
the hand gestures, also by his movement..but hes a
cool teacher we had assigend seats so thats gonna be a
drag i couldnt sit away from everyone else, luckly i
got a seat in the back all by myself except the guy
sitting next to me on my right, good enough i suppose.
Mr P had us give him our information to put into his
data base when all of a sudden the classroom door
opens up and who do i see? none other than the dude i
almost hit, i was staring at him the whole time as he
walked to the teacher, they had a discussion that i
couldnt hear but teach pointed him to the seat next to
me and all of a sudden i got hella nervous, i dont
know why but i am for some reason, every time i see
him i act different, i got back to my work before he
saw me look at him. I thought i was safe from the
mystery boy when all of a sudden i hear a soft voice
talking to me:

-"hey bro, member me?"
-clearly i remembered him but i tried to act non
scholant about it." hehe yeah i remember you, but i
didnt get your name..mines Victor but you can call me
Vic."
-"sup vic names marco..and you can call me marco.."he
gave a small laugh that i had to laugh to, man he had
a beautiful laugh.
-"hey bro hope you dont mind me asking but are you
okay?. i mean when i talked to you earlier you seemed
pre-occupied to even notice me yelling to get your
attention."
-"oh sorry about that."
-"dont worry bout it bro,so wanna tell me wassup? i
may talk a bit but i listen well to bro."
-i can tell he was debating to tell me or not, i was
hopeing he would." ummm its kind of a touchy subject
but i dont wanna talke about it, sorry vic."
-" hey no need for apologies, but just remember that i
can always listen wheneveryou need to talk."
-"thanks bro."
-"no prollem lil man." i gave a small laugh
-"hey! thats mean." i thught he was serious but i saw
his smile creeping in at the corner of his mouth.
so for the rest of the time me and marco were talking
our heads off to one another like we were buds to
begin with it was cool , i got to know  him alot
better with the amount of time given to us, he was a
freshmen and it was only he and his mom, i told him
that it was just me and my mom and sister for now with
the divorce and things, he understood, as class was
nearing to end marco turned to me and ask
-"hey vic wanna eat with me today with my friends?"
how could i not say no, but then i remembered that i
already told mark id eat with him so that totaly burst
my bubble not being able to hang with marco longer.
-"sorry bud but im suppose to eat with my other friend
i met today, i wish i could but i promised him id eat
with him."
i thought i saw him frown a bit when i finished my
sentence and it just broke my heart to see him like
that. so i had to make it up to him anyway i could.
-"say what are you doing after school today?"
i knew he was thinking a bit, hopefully  hes free.
-"umm nothing actualy why?"
-"well do you wanna hang out after school today? i got
nothing to do and i like hanging with you so what do
you say?"
-"yeah sure but let me call my mom to see if its okay
first."
-sure no problem."
the bell rang telling us that class was over and i
didnt want to keep mark waiting so i thought of the
best way for marco to get hold of me
-"hey marc i gotta go bud, heres my
number(8083845555), call me and tell me if its a go
with your moms."
-"aight thanks vic imma call you later then."
-"aight little man." and i headed to the cafeteria to
meet up with mark

------------------------------------
Marcos point of view

man i love highschool soooo many guys to check out but
also i got most of my friends from middle school to
chill with nothing gets better than this, but for some
reason i cant get that dude i bumped into out of my
mind, what is it about him? cant ponder on that any
longer i gotta get to health class. god couldnt they
have given us a map to show us where the fuck our
classes are?..seriously this is ridiculous, after 5
minutes or so looking for my class i found it in the
back lot of the school behind my  1st period class in
L building, Mr Peski is his name.
so i headed in and i immedietly went to my teacher and
explained what happened:
-"im sorry sir,i got lost on my way here."
-"thats no problem,and your name is"
-"oh sorry its marco sir" i saw him scanning his piece
of paper for a bit before he talked
-"okay marco you sit at the far right corner next to
victor" and as i saw him point i followed with my eyes
on who im sitting with, and low behold its that cute
dude i bumped into, my heart was skipping another beat
as i began to walk closer and closer to him, what was
i suppose to say? was i to say anything at all?, man i
just wanna die, but thats impossible, guess gotta make
do with what i got.:
--"hey bro, member me?"
-" hehe yeah i remember you, but i didnt get your
name..mines Victor but you can call me Vic."..victor,
cool name,
-"sup vic names marco..and you can call me
marco.."..god i sounded stupid but he laughed at that
not to bad, i was just totaly mesmarized at his smile,
it was one of those commercials with the toothpaste
stuff and it shows off their awesome smile, he had one
of those, out of nowhere he catches me off guard
-"hey bro hope you dont mind me asking but are you
okay?. i mean when i talked to you earlier you seemed
pre-occupied to even notice me yelling to get your
attention."
man i would so have loved to say" yeah everythings
fine im gay, my mom knows, i cant stop thinking about
you." but i couldnt just yet, i dont know if i ever
could tell him so i had to let him down easy
-"oh sorry about that."
-"dont worry bout it bro,so wanna tell me wassup? i
may talk a bit but i listen well to bro."
could i really tell him? i wouldnt wanna mess up a
good thing so imma go slow on this one
-"ummm its kind of a touchy subject but i dont wanna
talke about it, sorry vic."
whew, got out of that pickle rather easily
-" hey no need for apologies, but just remember that i
can always listen wheneveryou need to talk."
wow not only cute but this guy is sincere man now i
really cant mess this up he could be a real good
friend, man that totaly blows!
-"thanks bro."
-"no prollem lil man."
"lil man?" im not that short am i?, hes clearly taller
than me but not by much, i guess hes comfortable
enough with me to call me that,now imma mess with him
-"hey! thats mean."..i gave a bit of a frown in there
to have that dramatic look, god im such a dork, i had
to stop a bit to look at him to see that he was a bit
concerned that he hurt my feelings, now i feel bad, so
i just put up a smile to let him know that its all
good fun.
so for the rest of the class period me and vic totaly
connected with one another, it was like weve known
each other forever, no awkward moments what so ever
and i liked that, i found out as well that his moms
divorced too, hes a junior transfering from hawaii so
that was cool, but i wanted to ask why leave such a
nice place,better ask him about it later.
i was having so much fun i didnt even know that class
was almost over, i wanted to ask vic to eat with me so
i can get to know him better:
-"hey vic wanna eat with me today with my friends?"
please let him say yes,PLEASE!
-"sorry bud but im suppose to eat with my other friend
i met today, i wish i could but i promised him id eat
with him."
awww just my luck, it would have been so cool to have
eaten with him.
but he totaly cought me off guard with what he said
next.
-"say what are you doing after school today?"
i was speechless, here i am with an oppurtunity of a
lifetime and all i could say was nothing, speechless,
nada..i had to say something, but i also had to ask my
mom too..shit im in a pickle
-"umm nothing actualy why?"
-"well do you wanna hang out after school today? i got
nothing to do and i like hanging with you so what do
you say?"
HELL YES I WOULD!!! but damn you mother!!!
-"yeah sure but let me call my mom to see if its okay
first."
and the bell rang telling us that it was lunch.
-"hey marc i gotta go bud, heres my
number(8083845555), call me and tell me if its a go
with your moms."
cool i got a number..hehe im such a dork
-"aight thanks vic imma call you later then."
-"aight little man."
"little man" again i so totaly gotta come up with
something soon.
and just like that he left. i did too and right when i
got outside i pulled my cell out of my backpack and
called mother:
-"hi sweety, whats up?"
-"hey mom, would it be okay for me to hang with my
friend from class afterschool?"
-"i dont know sweety, do i  know him?"
-" no i doubt it hes new he transfered from hawaii, he
asked if i wanted to chill with him since he has
nothing better to do."
-"well its okay."..YESSS.."with one
condition."..SHIT!.." you guys gotta drop by the house
first so i can meet him, thats the deal."
*sigh*"okay mom"
-"okay i gotta go sweety bye."
-"bye" and i hung up, god why do moms want to torchure
their kids sooooo much, oh well at least me and vic
get to hang out, and i soooo totaly cant wait!

---------------------------

	Man where the fuck is the cafeteria? im never gonna
find mark at this rate...*umphf* " oh shit my bad man,
i didnt see you there."
-"damn vic whats the hurry?"..it was Mark thanks the
lord! now i dont have to look for him
-"hehe my bad bro i was in a hurry to find you i didnt
see you there, this place is humongous!
-"haha yeah it can be overwhelming but stick with me
and youll be fine"
-"i might just take your word on that bro."
when me and mark got to the lunch line he asked me
-"yo friday my boy bubba's got a house party wanna
come?"
shit hell yeah i wanna come!
"yeah man thanks, what time?"
-"around 7ish meet me up at my house and we'll go
together."
-"aight sounds like a plan." hmmm i wonder if id be
able to bring a friend?.."yo mark you think it be
alright if i brought a friend?"
-" yeah no prob bro."
-"aight cool"
as we were sitting down Mark introduced me to his
friends, this kid named nacho..lol what an odd name,
hes a skater, brown eyes and hair, got a kid name
robert, hes a hottie hazel eyes with a nice built, and
christina, punk rock chiq that has style youd never
see people wear but yet it suits her.
-"yo guys this is vic, vic this is nacho robert and
christina."
boy was i nervous"sup"
the boy nacho nodded to me to say sup and robert
extended his hand "sup vic" we shook hands and all of
a sudden i felt a shock in my hands and i pulled away
quickly.
-"shit!..haha, you felt that?"
-"haha yeah man we got a connection already haha"..and
he winked, i was blown away by his smile thats for
sure and whats with the wink? oh well prolly just
playing around
half way through lunch i got a phone call
-"yo"
-"umm is this vic?"
-" marco?..hey bud whats up?"
-"hey, umm so yeah id be able to chill with you
bro..."
-" why do i hear a but in this?"..i gave a small laugh
-"hehe sorry but my moms wants us to drop by the house
first, she wants to meet my new friend"..shit meet his
mom already we havent even kissed yet..lol
-"yeah thats no problem man."
-"really? youd wanna actualy meet my mom?..hehe your a
brave guy"
-"haha am i suppose to be afraid?"
-"not really."
-"aight its settled then, so how bout we meet at the
school parking lot, go to your house chill a bit, then
grab some early dinner sounds like a plan?"
-"hell yeah!..if your buying haha"
-"yeah im buying"
-"cool aight see you then vic"
-"aight bye"..and i hung up....wait..did i just plan
to have dinner with marco?.
-"so who was that your boyfriend? haha" robert asked
jokingly, an everyone went hysterical
-"shut up man, that was a friend of mine." and i
punched him on the shoulder playfully
-"ow! " and he was rubbing his arm on where i punched
him
-"awww did wobby get a boo boo?" and i placed my hand
on his arms and started rubbing for him, then everyone
went hystrical on that one.
-"kiss it and it will prolly feel better." and then he
pouted, he looked soo cute,then he winked again and
laughed, and so did everyone else
-"shut up" then i shoved him playfully
-"aww come on i know you wanna..haha"
man the guys practicaly wet their pants we were so
funny, god imma love hanging with these guys, then
everything went back to normal we finished our food
and we walked around school just hanging out, but at
times id take a quik glance at robert and i see him
staring at me, i smiled at him and i see him turn beet
red and turn away, that boys sooo cute when hes
blushing, when the bell rang i started heading to my
class after i said bye to everyone, after a bit i
heard my name being called
-"vic, hey vic."
i turned around and it was robert"hey wobby..haha" i
just had to laugh at that
-"shut up, hey i was wondering, umm do you got aim?"
-"yeah why wassup"
-"well just wanted to know if i could have it"
-"yeah no problemo bro..its vpotal"
-"aight cool man thanks"
-"no problem man"
-"aight then imma see you at lunch tomorrow?"..it
seemed as if he was asking if i was gonna eat with
them
-"yeah of course i get to pick on you more..haha"
-"ahhh shut up!" then he punched me
-"ow!"
-"haha, later!" then he ran off
man if i can be good friends with these kids school
aint gonna be half bad.



-----------------------------------------

	Man thank the lord world geography was done, that Mr
Kishniff is so boring, all we did was work and hes
hella strict, fucking white bitch!..lol..now on my way
to my baby. on my way their my phone rang"hello?"
-"yo vic where are you?" it was marco and he was right
in front of me so i wanted to scare him
-"right behind you" and i was like directly behind him
too and when he turned around
-"AAHHH, fucking vic that aint funny bro, haha"
-"haha my bad buddy just playing with you"
-"hehe i know you scared the shit out of me"
haha mission accomplished
-"aight so where do you live bro?"
-"umm well its kinda far from here, we gotta take the
etran to franklin high, i live at moon lily court."
no FUCKING way! this kid lives in the street over what
a fucking coinsedence
-"are you serious?!"
-" yeah is that a problem?"
-"haha no not at all i live on wild orchid way bro,
were practly neighbors, haha what a small world we
live in huh?"
-"wow thats hella cool we can chill all the time then"
-"yups exactly"
-aight so lets get going etrans almost here"
-"you sure you wanna take the bus? why not we take my
car bro, haha"
-"wait you got a car? "
-"haha yeah didnt you see me drive off this morning?"
-"hehe no not really i was still preoccupied, my bad"
-"haha no problem man lets go its over here"
so we headed to my car and when we got there
-"holly shit! this is your car?"
-"haha yeah man it is "
-"lucky ass mother fucker"
i opened my car but marco was still staring at it, so
i had to interupt him"hehe you can stare all you want
at it bro later, get in already."
so we hopped in the car i started my engine" aight
seatbelts" and marco did just that
i was to occupied with the road so i asked marco to
turn on the cd player for me"press play on the stereo
bro"
-"aight" when he did Outcast :so fresh and so clean
song blasted through my car
-"holly shit this is my favorite song man"
-"haha mine too bro" and we sung alone to it, horribly
might i add "aint no body dope as me im just so fresh
and..so fresh and so clean clean"
and when the song ended we arrived at marcos house
right on time
man i was hella nervous but i guess i had to meet her
sometime right?
-"readt to go in vic"
-"yeah imma fallow your lead bro"
so we hopped out of the car and we headed into marcos
house
-"mom!...MOM!!"
-"in the kitchen sweety."
so we walked over to her and he introduced me"mom this
is vic, vic this is my mom, Ms Cesci"
-"nice to meet you mam,boy my voice was stuttering
like a mofo.
-"nice to meet you too vic,but call me Darla Ms Cesci
makes me feel old, haha" we all had a laugh at that
because she was right, she didnt seem old at all,
prolly 30-35 the most clearly a young mother
-"aight mom me and vic are heading to my room, oh and
me and him are gonna go get dinner later so dont make
me dinner tonight."
-"okay sweety, you two run along now."
and run along we did they had a beautiful victorian
house wtih wooden floors, the works, and in Marcos
room was a contrast to everything else in the house,
he had posters covering all of his walls with artist,
from panic at the disco to eminem, to busta rhymes, to
sliplknot, this boy was well rounded with music, he
had an Alienwear computer, that shit comes at around 3
grand easy, lucky bitch, and he had both xbox and ps2,
haha i had an xbox360..hehe
-"nice room you got here bro, awesome layout, i
especially like the panic at the disco poster, their a
good band"
-"you heard of them"
-"haha yeah, i heard them from myspece.com, kick ass
group."
-"hell yeah they are, so what do you wanna do?"
-"hmm i see you got an xbox there wanna play halo2?"
-"yeah let me kill you in halo2 bro, haha"
-"getting cocky arent we?"
-"nah just confident."
so we set up the game and for 2 grueling hours we
played halo, i won 7-0 god i murdered the poor little
guy
-"how the fuck did you learn how to play like that?,
you killed me..badly"
-"haha my sister works at microsoftsoft she gave me
the pre-release of halo2 about 6 months before it came
out so you can say i had a bit of a headstart haha"
-"lucky!"
-"haha i know." as i checked my watch it was nearing
5o clock
-"yo im getting hungry man ready to go?"
-"yeah man im starving too lets go dog." so we headed
out and hopped into my car, but i saw marco bring a cd
with him so i had to ask
-"whats in the cd?"
-"oh its a mix i made, got hella nice tunes wanna
listen"
-"sure" and he popped it in, he turned to track 9 and
it was my favorite song, it was john legend" i will
stay with you" god i promised to myself the person i
was going to marry, this will be our song:
JOHN LEGEND:
    weve been together for a while now were growing
stronger every day now, it feels so good there is no
doubt, i will stay with you
as each morning brings us sunrise, and the flowers
bloom in spring time on my loving you canr rely, will
stay with you
i will stay with you through the ups and the downs i
will stay with you when noone is around......

-"this is john legend, i will stay with you isnt it
marco?"
-"yeah man you know him?"
-"yeah i love his melodies and his voice, i want this
to be my wedding song, with this lyrics i know this
was my song."
-"wow same with me i want this to be my wedding song,
i know i seem kinda young but i want to be in a
lasting relationship, you know?"
i turned to him and i gave him my warmest smiles i
could muster and siad" yeah i understand completly
bro" and we drove off, it was silent for a while but
its was a comfortable silence, nothing awkward about
it, we listend to more songs by john legend and chris
brown, for a young dude chris brown has got skillz.we
were driving for a bit now and it was fun i liked it
-"so where do you want to eat marco?,we got the dollar
menu at mcdonalds we got del taco, theirs costco pizza
come bro what you hungry for?"..haha i had to laugh at
that
-"haha what ever you want bro, i dont really care the
companys good so it dont matter to me."
he was right the company was good and god knows i dont
want it to end just yet, in my mind i know im starting
to fall for marco, but is this possible, to have a
change of heart all of a sudden ? heres a boy i just
met yet, it feels so right, and what about our age
difference? im practicaly 3 years older than him, and
i dont even know if hes gay, at all, fuck why is being
a teenager so hard? man i better not mess this up i
cant afford to lose him as a friend if i ever decide
to tell him.
-"yeah the company is good man." and i turned to him
and smiled."aight its settled, were gonna go eat at
applebees"
-"wait thats a bit expensive, id settle for burgers
bro."
-"dont worry about it man, trust me okay?"
-"aight"..10 minutes later we arrived at applebees and
the waiter  who was a good looking guy seated us" just
you two gentlemen?"
-"yeah just us two sir." so we sat down, after a
couple of minutes at looking at the menu i knew what i
wanted, im settling for the 3 course menu with the
spinach dip steak and shrimp.
-"so what you having bud?
-"im thinking about the riblets."
-"go for it." the waiter came by again to take down
our order and left us
-" vic ive been meaning to ask, why leave hawaii? i
mean its paradise what more could you want?" i guess
it best to tell him now
-"i had to find myself,at times in my life id be wit
friends and wonder is this all that life is? so i had
to find out myself and it brought me here, also i
needed a new scenery ou know?"
-" yeah i get what your saying, finding yourself is
the hardest thing to do, if you dont know who or what
you are then its gonna be a hardlife to live, to me
ive found myself already, i know it sounds crazy cuz
im young but i did, i couldnt be more happy, and my
mom too, when i told her she was surprised but she was
happy, thats all that mattered to her, and thats all
that should matter to you too, for you to be happy."
man this kid is so insightful at a young age, no
wonder m falling for him every minute that passes by."
are you sure that your only 14? you seem older and
less immature than the other kids?"
-"hehe thanksi think, but i had to grow up a bit
faster than i would have liked,but i dont regret any
of it."
by then the food came by and it smelled great, and it
tasted great too, words were said less often for us to
savor our food, but at times id glance at marco to
catch him watching him, id just smile, heres a kid
with a good head on his shoulders and here i am
confused with my life, and who i am yet with him,
everything feels soooo right. when dinner was
finished, the waiter came by for our dessert, i got my
rasberry cheesecake while marco settled for a shake.
when the waiter came by we had a bit of a 1on1 chat
-"you and your boyfriend are real cute.
wow i wish"haha no were not, were just friends, i wish
though ."
-"oh wow well hope all works out for you."
-"same here." and he left right after
-"what was all that laughing about? it was about me
huh?"
-"haha dont worry about it buddy." and he left it at
that, but i know it was eating at him hard*sigh* guess
imma tell him when i drop  him off home..
after the dessert i paid the 45$ check and we headed
home, this time we barely talked, i wonder if hes
still wondering what me and the waitre was talking
about.god i hate to end the day like this
-" he said we looked like a cute couple."
-"what?"
-"haha the dude said we looked like a good couple."
i wished we were together."whats so funny?" marco
seemed uptight like he was offended with me laughing
at the thought.things are coming a bit more clear for
me now, but i just cant rely on instincts alone i have
to know for sure though.
-"im sorry"
-"for what?"
-"for what ever i did to make you mad at me, i really
had a good time marco, and i didnt want it to end with
you being mad at me."
-"dont worry about it okay, i guess im just over
reacting when it seemed like you were poking fun at
the thought of people being gay, i know someone very
close to me thats gay, and its real hard."..he started
to tear up a bit, man my heart is breaking for him i
hate seeing him like this, i placed my hand at his
chin to turn him to me and wiped the tears away from
his face"i am sooooo sorry for acting the way i did, i
didnt consider your feelings and i feel real bad about
it, but as long as im here you got me to turn to, i
will always listen to you, i will never judge you and
i wll never overreact okay?..thats what i can offer
you bro and i hope you dont shy away from me with that
small stupid comment i made earlier."
he was stuttering a bit and i couldnt blame
him."i..its...its o..okay..th..thanks ..vi.vic"
-"hey theres no need for thanks, lets not dwell on the
past now, lets just forget it and look ahead...so were
good?"
he smiled that smile that i loved"yeah were good..old
man gramps!"
by then we arrived at his drive way."oh hell no!! "
then i got him in a nuggie and i said"say your sorry"
-"NEVER..ow..haha"
-"haha suit your self" i continued for a bit longet
and then i stopped..*panting*"aight you gotta go
before i kill you man."
-"what if i dont want you to go yet man, ive never had
a friend here before and it seems like im just getting
to know you, its only 800pm do you want to go walking
around? theres a park where we can chill.?"
like what he said i dont want to leave yet i really
want to get to know him" yeah lets go walking" so we
got out of the car and started to walk opposite of the
house towards the prk, and im familiar with the park,
thats where i contemplate about my life soooo many
times. The streets were dark except for the stars
above us and the street lights.
-"i wonder what heaven will be like." marco said
-"well were still young marco there is soooo much we
havent done and things we want to do, that its not
worth looking to far ahead in our lives, lets just
work on whats in fron of us now."
-"yeah"..and we arrived at the park there was this
small hill where i always sit at, its behind the
bushes where i doubt people go to, but its my place
and i wanted to share that with marco so i took his
hand and i made him fallow me" where we going?"
-"to  my spot" after  a couple of trees and bushes we
arrived at this gorgeous place where theres a small
lake where the moon richochets off the lake its just
BEAUTIFUL, i heard marco gasp
-"wow, i havent seen this place before, this is sooo
cool"
-"yeah it is i found this when i first arrived here,
its my place to think and to just get away from
everything in the world where everything is just
right." at this point we were still holding hands, god
i didnt want to let go at all it just felt so right,
but i didnt want marco to feel awkward so i started to
pull away gently then i heard him say" stay like this
for a bit more, just keep holding my hand  vic"..man i
was surprised when he said that and thank the lord
that he said it too"okay" then he continued to speak:
-"i like this, just you and me, hanging out, i had a
real good time with you today vic, god i didnt want it
to end." then he let go and turned to face him with
tears in his face"im gay vic, and i really like you,
but i know it cant happen at all but i just wanted to
feel this before you walk out of my life like
everyother person thats walked out on me when ive told
them about me."
god the pain this boy is in, and to think that i was
gonna leave him? no i would never in my life leave
this wonderful boy. then i see him walking away from
me so i ran and took hold of his arm and turned him
around"hey where you going?"...
-"i thought you were sick of me and who i am, i know
most people are." i took my hand once again and wiped
the tear away from his beautiful face, even when hes
crying hes beautiful
-"what did i tell you when we were in the car marco?"
-"that you will never judge me, and wont over react"
-"exactly so why would  i think different of you
because your gay?, god theres tooo many ignorant bigot
people out in the world as it is, and i dont want you
to think that all people are like your friends that
turn their backs on you because thats not true, you
got me, and theres my friends who you will meet
tomorrow, your gonna eat lunch with me tomorrow okay?"
-"but i like you, i cant stand being with you when i
really want to be WITH you, i just cant stand that
vic."
-"your so dense sometimes, what am i doing now?
holding your hands right? who in there right mind
thats straight would continue to hold you?"
-"i dont know?..a real caring friend?" he put up a bit
of a smile
-"no a guy who is head over heels for this wonderful,
yet stubborn kid i met today, i like you too vic, when
we talked in 3rd period, im never that so open to
anyone in a short period of time, yet with you i can
be, and i really want to be with you"
-"really?"
-"haha, yes i really do...marco Cesci would you do me
the honor of  being my first
boyfriend?...PLEASE!!!.."..lol im a kid at heart what
can i say?
-"of course!" and then he hugged me, god i dont ever
want this to end, marco backed out of the hug and we
held each other face to face, forhead to forhead,"
vic?..umm can i kiss you?"
-" do you really have to ask?"..then i leaned in and
our lips met, i held his embrace tighter and i started
to suck on his bottom lip then thats as far as i
wanted to go for now so i eased off a bit." wow,
whered you learn to kiss marco?"
-" i dont know, to be honest ive never ad a boyfriend
or a grilfriend before so i cant really say i
practiced."
-"you tasted like chocolate milk shake,yum..haha"
he laughed a bit"dork" but i had to know if his mom
knew about it because i didnt want marco to be in
trouble.."does your mom know your gay marco?"
-"yeah..she was cool with it, thats what i told you
about earlier with her being okay with it, when i was
getting my cd we had a bit of a talk."
at this point we were sitting on top of a picnic table
near by, holding his hands rubbing his plam with my
thumb gently."really?..about what?"
-"umm you?"
-"me?...what did you say?"
-"well she said your a very cute boy,i said eh hes
alright."
i mocked saddness"thats mean."
-" im just kidding your beautiful" and he raised my
hands and kissed it
-"what else?"
-"well she said that if i were to have a boyfriend
that it should be with a guy like you, but i told her
that its no likely that your gay, boy was i
wrong..haha"
-"yes you were, and what can i say moms like me." and
i gave him one of my most cheesiest smiles
-"so what now vic?"
-"well tomorrow im gonna pick you up for school, 3rd
period were gonna go to lunch together and your gonna
meet my friend, but we gotta keep our relationship
underwraps for now, because i dont know if theyre
gonna be okay with it, then after school you can ride
home with me too if you want."
-"all sounds good to me, say what time is it" i went
and fished out my cell and it was 1030om"aight lil man
we gotta go its 1030 and you gotta sleep to grow big
and strong..haha"
-"shut up vic!"
-"just kidding" and i leaned in to kiss him again, god
he tastes so good,i dont think i can ever get tired of
kissing him.when we arrived at the street way he
started to pull away but i refused to let go" whats
wrong why you letting go?"
-" well i thought that you wouldnt want to"
-"dont worry about that im fine about it" and we
arrived at his door and i kissed him goodbye" see you
in the morning around 710okay?"
-"yeah thats fine, goodnight"
-"good night marco"
and i left to go to my house, man what a day! made new
friends met my first boyfirend man, i love cali!


should i continue?.or not even bother..message me and
tell me if i should bother posting another chapter

as we say in hawaii..much mahalo
till next time