Date: Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:16:48 -0500
From: Justin Luong <yellowcard_911@hotmail.com>
Subject: First Born Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: It Hurts Too Much

    It's been weeks since the last me and Lucas have made contact with each
other. Sure we see each other during class but that's mainly it. I think
after the fifth or sixth attempt Lucas finally gave up on me. I actually
heard that he got a girl and of course it's from his former or well now
again his posse. Daphne.
    Whenever I hear that name, I always think of Daphne from
Scooby-Doo. The redhead with that is a complete waste of time and doesn't
even help in the group. She's just there. Quite honestly, she is exactly
the same way as her cartoon counterpart. Except she has long black hair and
always put in a pony tail which in my opinion does not suite her very
well. Maybe if she got her hair colored a different color it would make her
look less of a ghost.
    Well anyways from what I hear from the class is that they're the
happiest couple ever to step foot in Bridgewater. So I guess Lucas really
did go though a phase and I was the stepping stone. I'm kinda kicking
myself right now because since he did go through a phase then being with
him wouldn't even matter. Maybe I'm just bi-polar with this whole thing. I
wanted a relationship to form, then I didn't want it, now I want it? So
maybe I can never be happy and all I want to do is hurt myself or maybe
it's just the fact that I don't respect myself as a person and I just
seduce people without noticing it.
    Well anyway, besides the point that I'm lost for words for myself. I've
decided I need to do something with what I have left in my life. So in this
random thought, I have decided to get a job. I am now a store clerk/cahier
at the local market. I'm supposed to be cleaning but they took pity on me
since I'm the guest to the whole city. It's weird but I guess I'm treated
well. The people are great too. Well one person in particular. His name is
Payton. He's the core of the market, without him there would be no market
plus all the women in town shop there because of his catching looks. He's
actually quite handsome and he's rugged and muscular. He's pretty much
perfect for women plus he's older like in his twenties or thirties (I love
older men well only if they're attractive).

    "Justin, please come to aisle seven," Payton said over the intercom.

    I got done with my final customer of the night. I walked over to the
entrance and locked it. I heard some static over the intercom, it's usually
the sign that Payton needs an associate pronto. Power walking towards aisle
seven, I noticed Payton carrying some boxes. They were all labeled with a
big red stamp of `fragile'.

    "It seems like it's only you and I that's left here," said Payton.

    "I guess so. So what exactly do you want me to do?"

    "Nothing."

    "Nothing?" I asked him.

    "Yes, nothing. Is that a problem?"

    "No, but usually if someone is called over the intercom it usually
means they need to help or do something."

    "Okay. Well you can just wait here and relax while I put the contents
in this box away."

    He did just that. I sat on the floor as I watched him put away the
contents. I offered to help but he refused that I do any stock work
whatsoever. I don't know why but he wouldn't let me. He finally finished in
about half an hour and he sat closely to me.

    "So Justin, tell me about yourself," he plainly asked.

    "About myself?"

    "Yeah like what are you interest, hobbies, that sort of thing."

    "Um well I like to hip hop dance and do photography. You?"

    "Well I like sex."

    "Oh um that's great I guess since you have women lined up for you and
all."

    "Well I don't really fancy the women," he said as he slyly grazed his
hand over mine.
    I quickly scooted down the aisle and crossed my arms. Smooth
Justin. Real smooth.

    "Don't fret. I don't bite. I know how you look at me. I've notice you
starring at me a lot. You're cute. So I was wondering if we could--"

    "Sorry I'm not ready for a relationship right now."

    "Oh I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want to fuck you."

    "Sorry, I'm not a slut. I don't put out easily like a lot of the girls
here," I stated disappointed.

    I walked towards the exit and Payton popped right in front of me.

    "That wasn't a request," Payton said as he clenched my arm tightly.

    "Payton let me go! That hurts."

    "Aw poor Justin. I don't care what hurts you all I care is that I get
to have some re--"

    "Fuck off!" I yelled as I kicked him in the crotch.

    Like any moment, crashed down to the ground and held his area. Taking
this moment as a time of escape and went for the entrance only to get the
fact that the door was locked. At that moment, I panicked. I kept banging
on the glass hoping someone hear me.  But to my careless attempts to
escape, Payton comes up to me and puts me in a sleeper hold.

    "You got some guts, boy. But I will have ass. And you will be my
bitch."

    He lifted me higher into the air, my feet frantically kicking the
air. Then I realized I can turn this around. I kicked the entrance
handlebar and flipped over him. I then forcibly pushed him into the
entrance, his thick skull breaking through the glass.

    "What the hell? Where's the alarm?" I said aloud.

    Fuck, I remembered that Payton said that he wasn't going to turn on the
alarm since it was only going to be us two tonight. He fucking set me up. I
turned around only to get dragged back to the entrance. God this guy won't
give up will he?

    "Fucking cunt, you will pay for that," he spat.

    He sat on top of me. His weight and also gravity on me made me feel
helpless. I couldn't move and I was out of breath. He held my arms in one
of his hands. He quickly unbuttoned his pants and his ten inch monster
popped out slapping his white shirt. I felt so helpless. Was this really
happening to me? I guess karma is getting payback on me for treating Lucas
in such a bad way.

    "You ready, you slut?!" Lucas said.

    "Fuck off!"

    With that, he forcibly shoved it in my mouth. I tried to bite but I was
so tired and I was choking and gagging. Tears were flowing down my face. I
could feel the blood rushing up my face turning my face from slightly tan
to light red, almost like a sunburn. I thought it was the end of me, my
last breath. But then he finally let up and pulled out.

    "I fu...ing hate you. I w-will g...my pay b-back," I said.

    "When I'm done with you, you won't be able to speak nor will you be
breathing."

    Payton flipped me over and ripped my pants to shreds. He kept slapping
my ass with his dick. My body involuntarily twitch. Wrong move from my
body. He took grasp of my head and slammed it against the linoleum
floor. Agony pierced my skull and I blacked out.

    "Justin! Justin, wake up!"

    I head someone's voice. Don't know exactly who but it was
familiar. Yes, I know such a corny outcome. But that's what I heard. I
opened my eyes and saw Lucas with bawling his eyes out.

    "...cas."

    "Justin? I'm so glad you're alive," Lucas gasped as he gave me a hug.

    "Lucas, I have...many things to--"

    "Save it Justin. You can tell me later. Save your energy."

    "No, Lucas I have to tell you. I--"

    I blanked out without getting to tell Lucas a thing. I later woke up in
a hospital room. Expecting my room to be filled with an assortment of get
well presents or at least a bouquet of wilted roses, I woke up to nothing
just a sterile, blank room. Not a single get well card was present nor was
Lucas anywhere. Not a trace.

    "Were you expecting something spectacular?" came a voice

    "Who's there?" I asked.

    Out of the blue came this person that looked exactly like me but with
heavy mascara and eyeliner. His nails were painted black, bottom lip was
pierced on the left side, his eyes were white and spliced, he had long,
black side fringe that reached his chin and a braided that laid upon his
shoulder. He wore a black gown and his skin was exceptionally pale.

    "Who are you?" I asked. "You just like--"

    "You? Because I am you. I'm your persona. Your other half."

    "My other side looks like death?"

    "That's how you perceive me to be."

    "Wait. If I'm seeing you, then that means I'm crazy, mentally ill."

    "If that's what you want to go with."

    "Fuck my life. So why are you here?"

    "Because I feel that you've been making all the wrong decisions in
life. Especially your love life."

    "Our love life is just fine," I mumbled.

    "Really. If so then why'd you get raped?"

    "I WAS THE VICTIM!" I yelled at myself.

    "Justin, who are you talking to?" Lucas asked.

    I looked ahead and saw that Lucas just came inside the room.

    "I was just talking to myself," I said calmly.

    "Yourself? Are you okay?"

    Fuck. I just remembered that talking to oneself is often frowned upon.

    "I'm fine."

    "You sure?"

    "Yeah. Lucas I'm happy that you came to visit me I--"

    "Actually I came here cause my mom couldn't make it. I just brought you
some--"

    "Cornbread?" I frowned.

    "Yeah. It's her signature dish."

    "Just set it on the table, I'll eat it later," I lied.

    "So you're finally awake."

    "What do you mean? And I thought there's no hospital in Bridgewater?"

    "There isn't. You're in a governmental hospital miles away from
there. And you've been out for five months."

    "I've been in a coma ever since I got--"

    "Yeah. I'm sorry."

    "No, its fine. You came and rescued me."

    "I was there by chance. I just got over with my date with Daphne and I
was walking home."

    "Oh."

    "Well I'm going to go. Me and Daphne have date tonight and we just
might--"

    "I don't need to know, but thanks for the info.," I lied.

    "You're just going to let him go?"

    "What else am I supposed to do? He's with someone, you should know that
we don't like to break relationships."

    "He's not even happy. If you even paid attention, you'd notice that he
still likes you."

    "Justin, are you talking to yourself again?"

    "Look, do us both a favor and tell him. Confess to him."

    "I can't!"

    "Do you need me to call a doctor, Justin? I can call a doctor."

    "NO! I mean no. I just have something to tell you."

    "Okay well you didn't need to talk to yourself to make me pay
attention."

    "I-I Just wanted to tell you that I-I--"

    "You what?"

    "Come on, quit being such a wimp and just say it!"

    "I-I."

    Suddenly, the door flew open and Daphne walked in.

    "Babe, what's taking you so long? We've got a reservation at that
place, remember?" she whined.

    "I'll be out in a minute, Justin has something to tell me."

    "Actually um I would just like to congratulate you guys on a long
relationship."

    "Really, Justin? You're going to wimp out? You're a such a
disappointment."

    "Well bye," Lucas mumbled.

    "I love you," I whispered.

    "Well congrats. You've completely made yourself look amazing."

    "You didn't help. I can't confess my feelings to him if you're
breathing down my neck."

    "I don't breathe."

    "I don't care. I'm sick and tired of boys anyways. I like men."

    "Really? Like Payton?"

    "Shut up."

    "He's a man, isn't he? But wait you couldn't sleep with him willingly
because you're not into a relationship right now. But you want to be with
Lucas so--"

    "I said SHUT UP! I-I love him. I love Lucas. I--"

    "I get it. You messed up. We both did."

    He disappeared and continued to wallow in grief. Days passed and the
doctors finally gave me the green light. I arrived back in Bridgewater and
noticed things were the same except for I don't have a job Payton and I got
fired from that place. Payton is nowhere to be found and so I can't send
him to prison. I sat down on my couch and stared at the wall. My backpack
was sitting next to me. So I opened it and decided to get out my notebook
and began writing a letter.
    When I was done, I walked to Lucas' house but he wasn't there only
Claire.

    "How are you?"

    "I'm fine. Can you give this to Lucas?" I asked as I handed her my
letter.

    "Sure. I see you have a bag with you. Where are you going?"

    "No where, I just like to carry my things with me. Ever since that
night, I don't feel safe by myself anymore so I bring stuff with me to
defend myself."

    "Oh I'm so sorry, I couldn't come visit you. I was so busy. I was out
of town when I heard of it."

    "It's fine. Well I'm going to go now. Bye."

    "Bye."

    I left and walked in the direction leaving town. As I was walking, I
noticed Lucas and his posse hanging out in the field. Seems like they were
chatting up a storm. Then it hit me, he looked right up at me. He was still
talking to everyone but he just starred at me. I stopped and I waved to him
my goodbyes. He waved back but then his whole posse stopped talking and
glared at me. With that I just kept on walking and I never looked back
because I'm sure all of them were starring at me.