Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 18:38:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dewey <dewey2k@yahoo.com>
Subject: Brian and Pete chapter 7

Brian and Pete 
Chapter Seven
Outings

  Copyright Notice - Copyright September 2001 by DeweyWriter Ltd. 
  
     This story is copyrighted by the author and the author retains all
rights.  This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic,
audio, or otherwise without the authors expressed permission.  All
applicable copyright laws apply and will be enforced.

Legal Disclaimer

 This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially
based on real people and events.  Names have been changed to protect the
guilty as well as the innocent.  All the usual rules apply.  If it is
illegal for you to be reading this now, then don't continue on.
  
The reception after the funeral was a quiet affair.  My grandparents had
friends in the area, but most didn't stay much longer than was required by
etiquette.  Everyone held up pretty well, with a few tears shed here or
there.  Pete held me as I cried after everyone had gone home.  Everything
about the day had a surreal aspect, like I was living a dream or something.
I knew my grandmother was gone, but I still didn't want to believe it.  At
dinner, everyone tried to keep things as normal as possible.  Conversations
were somewhat stilted.  Mom asked me what Pete and I planned to do for the
rest of the time we were home.

"Well, I wanted to go to school and see some people, but I don't know if
that's a smart thing to do.  We've been outed.  I don't want to get in a
fight."

"Do you think it would come to that?"

"Maybe.  Depends on who sees us and what they do."

Dad surprised me.  "I think you should still go, son.  You are who you are.
At some point, you'll have to stand up for yourself."

I laughed bitterly.  "Yeah, stand up for myself.  And get the shit kicked
out of me."

"Brian, language please."

"Sorry, Mom, but it's the truth.  Randy already told his brother he would
kick my a... butt if he saw me."

Pete jumped in.  "That was just talk.  Look.  I said I'd go with you.  If
someone wants to jump you, they'll have to jump both of us.  And I know
you're no slouch in the brawling department.  If someone says something, we
either ignore it, or correct them.  It's no different here than in
Portland."

"I think," Dad said, "that this is a good opportunity for you, Brian.  It
might help you learn to deal with this kind of thing, and it will give you
a sense of closure for your life here, since you'll be in Portland, at
least until you graduate.  Then we'll see about sending you to a university
somewhere."

I was stunned.  "You're going to let me stay with Pete and the
Patterson's?"  "Well, we hope you two would visit us occasionally.  As I
recall, it's about six miles from the Patterson's place to the farm house,
right Pete?"

"About that."

"You mean, you're going to move to Portland?"

"I called last night, and the job offer I had is still open.  I told him
I'd take it."

"And I won't have a problem finding a job with the training I've had.  I
may not have to work at all with what your father will be making, so I can
take care of your grandfather, if it comes to that.  I can take classes and
get a certificate in home health care or something like that."  Mom even
sounded excited at the prospect.

"Oh, wow.  When are you going to move?"

"Well, I'll have to go up almost immediately to start working.  I'll be
staying at the farmhouse until your mom and Dawn join me.  When the house
sells, they'll come up."

"But I don't wanna go, dad!  All my friends are here!"

"Dawn, honey, you can make new friends up there."

"The only reason we're going is so Brian can be with his boyfriend."

"Dawn, that's enough.  And that's not true anyway.  We're going because I
have a job up there, and Pete is letting us use his house.  That way, we
can take care of your grandpa, and still have a place to live."  Nothing
was going to placate Dawn at this point, and my parents knew it, so they
changed the subject again.

"Any idea where you guys want to go to school?"

"Wherever Pete goes."

"Wherever Brian goes."  We grinned at each other.

"Very funny, boys.  Have you thought about it?"

"No, not really.  Brian can get into just about any school he wants with
his grades."

"I don't know what I want to do yet.  That'll make a lot of difference
which schools I apply too.  I want a good school in the field I choose."

"Well, it's never too early to start looking."

"Okay.  I'll write for some brochures when I get back to school."

"Good.  Now about tomorrow.  Are you going to go to school, or not?"

I sighed.  "I guess.  Pete'll be with me, so I'll be safe enough."

"Okay," Mom said, "I'll have someone from work pick me up so you can have
the car."

"Thanks, mom."

"Sure, sweetie."

Dinner finally ended.  Grampa hadn't made an appearance at all.  I wasn't
really surprised though.  I don't think anyone was.  Dad went in to see how
he was and came out shaking his head.

I gave Chris a call, and told him we were in town for a few days.  His mom
invited Pete and I up for dinner the following night.  I thought about it
for a minute, and then asked Mom if we could.  Of course, she said yes.

I was having mixed feelings about going up there with Pete, to tell the
truth.  I loved Pete.  I loved Chris too, but as a friend.  Unfortunately,
Chris had a crush on me, and I didn't know how he would react to seeing me
with Pete.  And I didn't know how Pete would react to Chris, either.  Oh,
well.  What will happen will happen.

Danny came by after he got off shift.  He didn't stay; he was there long
enough to give us his condolences and say hi to Pete and me, and then he
was off again.  I was disappointed that he didn't stay longer.

Dawn pouted the whole evening until Pete and I went to bed.  All I had
heard from her was how she was going to lose her friends and go to a
strange school and every other complaint she could dream up.

Pete asked her, "Is there anyone in school you'd like to have as a
boyfriend?"

"Not really."

Pete stated, "So going to Portland gives you a whole new school of boys to
look at, doesn't it."  She didn't quite know how to take that, so she was
thankfully silent for a while.  Mom, however, didn't look amused.  As we
readied ourselves for bed, Pete kissed me.

"What was that for?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"No, I suppose not."

He smiled and kissed me more passionately.

"We can't.  My door doesn't lock."  He kissed me again, more gently.

"Sure we can.  We just have to be quiet."

"Let's wait until everyone goes to bed then.  I don't want to get caught."

"I can wait."  He kissed me again, and we climbed into bed.  Later that
night, I awoke to most wonderful sensations.

* * * * *

Morning came way too early, as it always seems to.  Pete and I woke when
Mom knocked on Dawn's door to get her up for school.  She then knocked on
my door and opened it without waiting.

"Do you boys want breakfast?  If so, you have to get up now."  She noticed
our shorts laying on the floor beside the air mattress, and frowned
slightly.  Then, shrugging to herself, she closed the door.

"Morning, Bri."

"Morning.  Hungry?"

"Yeah, kinda.  My midnight snack didn't really hold me over, I guess."  I
blushed accordingly.  "I suppose we should get up."

"Yeah, we should.  Mom saw our underwear."

"And?"

"I don't know.  She kinda looked upset for a moment, then she left."

"I'm not going to worry about it.  I'm not going to change the way I am
just to suit her, and I'm definitely not going to hide the fact I love you.
If she would have waited to come in until we said it was okay, she wouldn't
have had to see it."

I chuckled.  "Yeah, but it's like you being caught beating off by Sharon.
It's embarrassing."

"Are you ashamed of me?"

"God, no.  Never ashamed of you.  I guess I can't explain it right."

"Nah, you did fine."

"Then why did you ask if I am ashamed of you?"

"Just a thought that had crossed my mind."

I sat up.  "Why?  Did I do something?"

Pete shook his head.  "It's just sometimes I feel like you are afraid to
have people see us together, as a couple, or afraid to show that you love
me in front of your parents.  When your mom opened the door, you pulled
away from me."

"I did?"  He nodded.  "I didn't even realize it.  I'm sorry.  I really am."

"I know you are, and I think maybe it'll get better with time.  I just had
to tell you, because it was bothering me."

I leaned down and kissed him.  "I understand.  Maybe I can work on it now
that I know I'm doing it."

His lazy smile greeted my words, his blue eyes sparkling.  "I love you," he
whispered.

"I love you, too," I replied softly.

Moments like that are what I live for.  Pete and I communicate on so many
levels that sometimes we forget the more obvious ones, like telling each
other we love them, or doing something special.  For Pete, it seems to come
naturally. It's something I constantly have to remind myself to do, and
sometimes I have a hard time remembering to remind myself.  I'm just lucky
he loves me.

Breakfast was good.  Mom fixed us french toast with powdered sugar and
syrup, bacon, and eggs.  Dad was at the table reading the paper, absently
eating his toast.  Dawn was taking her shower, and would be out in a few
minutes to shovel her food into her mouth.  Pete and I wolfed down our own
meals quickly, and then asked for another helping.

"I forgot what it was like to have teenagers in the house.  You two eat so
much.  Be careful or you'll get fat."  Pete busted up laughing while I
glared at him.

"Don't say it.  I'm not fat.  I'm growing."

"Yeah, you are.  Growing out!"  I gave Pete a charlie-horse for goofing on
me, but the pain couldn't mask his grin.

"How tall are you now, Brian?"

"Five-seven, I think.  Haven't checked since the start of wrestling."

"Are your clothes getting to be too small?"  Pete almost choked as he
started laughing.  I vaguely heard him say something about shorts.  I just
glared.

"Now that you mention it, they are.  Hmph.  Never really thought about it."

"We'll get you some new stuff when we get back home, babe."  Pete smiled at
me, holding my hand under the table.

"Pete, we can't let you pay for his clothes.  We'll give you some money
before you go, and then you can get what you want, within reason."

"I don't want your money, Mrs. Kellam.  I have enough, and besides, I want
to buy him his clothes.  That way I get a say in what he gets."  I could
see Pete's eyes dancing, and another grin spread across his face.  I
couldn't fight him when he was like this.  Neither could Mom, apparently.

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Oh, yes.  Absolutely.  I'm not going to miss this opportunity."  He licked
his lips lasciviously.  Right in front of Mom and Dad!  I felt the blood
rush to my face, and other parts of my anatomy.  My parents, however, found
my embarrassment particularly hilarious. I could have killed him.  I tried
to give him another charlie-horse, but I failed.

Dawn finally showed up at the table, still looking sleepy.  "What's so
funny?"

"Not much.  Just talking about taking your brother clothes shopping."  Pete
was still smirking.

"That's funny?"

"You had to be there.  I didn't know your bro could turn that red, Dawn!"
I stuck my tongue out at him, making a face.  Having finished my meal, I
stood.

"I can see I'm not wanted here!"

I collected my dished and went into the kitchen, only to hear Pete say,
"Oh, I wouldn't say that.  Maybe not here, but definitely wanted."

"Peter Daniel!"  If it weren't for her laughter, my mom would have sounded
scandalized.  My dad was echoing her.  I glanced back into the dining room.
Pete was the only person who could see me, so I shot him the bird.  He
wagged his eyebrows.  Thoroughly defeated, I gave up and went to take my
shower.

A few minutes after I got in, the bathroom door opened.  I peeked out and
saw Pete.

"I didn't piss you off, did I?"

"No, not really," I said, continuing to scrub myself.  "You just
embarrassed me.  I never discussed anything even remotely sexual with my
parents, and your antics left nothing to the imagination.  What are you
trying to do?"

"Stake my claim on you."

"What?"

"I'm letting your parents know how I feel about you in my own way.  Either
they'll accept the way things are, or they won't.  But if they don't, they
better be really careful.  I don't like it when I don't get my way."  I
peeked out of the shower again and saw him grinning.  I couldn't help but
grin back.  "Can I wash your back?

"No, thank you.  Maybe later."

"You never let me have any fun."

"And what was that we did last night?"

His expression changed from playful to intense.  "Wonderful, that's what
last night was."

"Me, too.  You always make me feel great."

"I'll let you finish up so I can get in there."

"Okay."  I was done a couple of minutes later.

I was dressed by the time Pete finished his shower.  I opened the door as
he was drying himself, and watched him for a moment while he wrapped the
towel around himself.

"What?"

"Nothing.  Just watching you."

"Oh.  I suppose that's okay.  Nice choice, by the way."  I was wearing the
outfit Pete had chosen for me; black Dockers with a black T-shirt, and an
olive green shirt with the sleeves rolled up over the tee.  Pete said it
really highlighted my eyes, whatever that meant.

"Thanks.  I'll remember to pass the complement on to my fashion
coordinator."  He smiled.

"When will we head up to the school?"

"About nine, I thought.  Everyone will be in class.  Less chance of
problems."  Pete sighed, and put his hands around my waist from behind.
"You can't let this get to you, Brian.  It'll make you paranoid."

"I'm already paranoid.  This is just making it worse."

"What can I do to help you deal with this?  To help you see everything will
be okay?"

"I don't know.  I really don't.  I guess what happens today will convince
me... one way or the other."

He sighed again, resting his chin on my shoulder, looking into my eyes
through the mirror.  "Everything will be fine, Bri.  If anyone tries to
start something, we'll finish it."  He chuckled, "They can't expel us here,
so if we get in a fight...."  He shrugged.

I laughed.  "You're right!  I didn't think about it that way."  I turned
around in his arms, looking into his blue eyes.  "I think part of the
reason I'm so spooked is what happened last week, Pete.  Someone actually
threatened you with a knife.  What am I suppose to feel about that?"

"I know.  It scared me too.  But if we go around thinking that everyone is
carrying a knife or gun and wants to kill us, we'll go crazy.  We can't do
that.  We have to live our life, not be afraid to live it."  His expression
was serious, his voice urgent, and his eyes held such fire.  Nodding
slowly, I hugged him to me.

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask."  Standing there for a moment, I was again amazed that
Pete still wanted to be with me with all the emotional baggage I had.

"You better get dressed."

"Yeah.  Be back in a flash."

The drive up to school was short, of course, only being a mile away.  We
arrived during a class break.  Some of the people who knew Pete and I came
up to greet us just like they would have before.  At least they didn't
mention anything.  Others I knew watched us warily, like we might be
contagious or something.  Some people couldn't, or wouldn't meet my eyes.
It wasn't until Randy saw me that things got kind of hairy.

Randy stood about five-ten, and was built like a brick shithouse.  I mean,
he was solid muscle.  He was the strongest kid in our grade, maybe in the
school.  He had teased me pretty bad in middle school, but had left me
alone for the most part in high school.  Now, when he saw us, he came right
over.

"Is it true?  Are you two gay?"

Straightening up to my full height, I answered him.  "Does it matter?"

"Damn right it matters.  Is it true?"  Randy's posture was aggressive, like
he was looking for a reason to fight me.

"You wouldn't be asking if you didn't know the answer."  I was starting to
get nervous.

Even with Pete and I fighting on the same side, Randy would be a handful.
He had martial arts training, too.

"I never would have guessed you'd turn out to be gay.  Or you, Pete."

"Me either, but I can't change it, and I'm not even going to try."

"Looks like I have some business to take care of."  Randy had relaxed a
bit, looking over my shoulder.  Glancing behind me, I saw my old nemesis,
Brent, charging toward us, his face an ugly mask of rage and hate.  I
braced for the battle I knew was coming, but Randy calmly pulled Pete and I
behind him, and faced Brent down.

"Stop right there. You aren't going to do anything, so just turn around."

"What, are you a fag too?"

"It doesn't matter if I am or not.  And it doesn't matter if Brian and Pete
are gay, either.  Just go on.  If you want to fight them, you have to get
through me first."  I couldn't believe it!  Randy was defending us when I
thought he'd be the one to try and trash us.

Wonders never cease. My whole picture of Randy as a person had shattered.

His eyes narrowed, Brent wisely retreated back into the crowd.  Randy
watched him go, and then turned to face us.

"Uh, thanks, Randy.  But, uh, how to say this... did you just out
yourself?"

"No, I'm straight, but I have a cousin who's gay.  We still spend a lot of
time together in the summers.  He's an athlete, too, and as straight acting
as you are.  He came out to me a couple of years ago."  He gave a lopsided
grin.  "I used to be like Brent, but not any more.  I don't care what you
are.  You've always been cool with me after everything I did to you.  I
wish I could've gotten to know you better, that's all."  You can never
truly know another person's reality, or what they really think.  Randy went
from being slime to a real human being in my book.

"I wish I had given you the chance."

He nodded, and offered his hand.  We shook as equals. "Maybe some day.
Nice seeing you again, Pete.  Bye, Brian.  Good luck."

"See ya."

"You too, Randy."

The bell rang signaling the beginning of the next class.  Randy was going
to be late, but he walked unhurriedly through the hall.  Then I remembered
he had Phys Ed with Brent, in my old class.

"Where to, Bri?"

"Let's go to the gym.  I want to see Mr. Hines before he gets too busy."

"Lead the way."

We walked down the hall side by side.  I saw a couple of teachers I knew
closing their doors, and they gave us a brief acknowledgement.  It was
strange returning to school after having been gone for several months.  It
didn't feel right anymore.  On a whim, I opened my old locker as we passed
it.  It was still empty, just like I had left it.  I'm not sure what I
expected.

Finally making it to the gym, I was disappointed to find that my old coach
wasn't in school that day.  There were a few other teachers I wanted to
see, like my creative writing teacher and my science teacher, but they both
had classes.

"This trip was a bust.  You ready to go?"

"You see everyone you wanted to see?"

"No, but everyone else has classes.  I guess we have nothing to do really
until we have dinner with Chris tonight.  What do you want to do?"

"How about we take a drive to the beach?"

"Sounds like fun.  The weather sucks, though.  It's supposed to rain all
day.  Maybe tomorrow?"

"Any other ideas?"

"Not really.  We can go back to the house.  Maybe Dad had some stuff to do.
We might have the house to ourselves."

"Why are we just standing here then?"

When we got home, Dad did indeed have some errands to run, but not until
that afternoon.  Pete pulled out some of the homework he had for us to do,
so we sat at the dining room table for an hour or so finishing up a couple
of math assignments.  Boring?  Yes, definitely, but I was with Pete, so
that made it bearable.

The rest of the day, we sat on the couch watching movies on satellite.  Dad
sat with us most of the time, but it seemed to me that he was watching us
more than the movies.  At one point, Pete was laying on his side with his
head resting in my lap.  I happened to notice Dad staring at us out of the
corner of my eye.  Turning my head, I observed him staring at us with an
unreadable expression for a few moments before he noticed me looking at
him, and then he smiled.

"What, Dad?"

"I was just thinking."  Pete turned onto his stomach so he could see my
father.

"Thinking what?"

"I've been watching you two since you got here."

"And..."

He shook his head.  "I just don't understand.  I don't understand what it
is that drew you two together.  I don't understand how one boy can love
another in a... sexual way."  My jaw tightened and my eyes narrowed.  Pete
shifted uncomfortably.  My father continued after noticing our reactions to
his words.

"I don't understand it, but I can't deny the bond between you.  I watch you
two lying there, and I see the love in your eyes.  I see the small gestures
you make to one another: the kisses, the hugs, the pats on the arm or
shoulder, your secret smiles.  Yes, I noticed them, too.  I watch you two
and try to compare what you have to what I remember when I was your age,
going out with a girl.  The only difference I see is that you are both
strong, healthy boys, instead of a boy and a girl.

"I don't understand it.  I'm not even sure how I feel about it.  But I
can't deny it.  And I'm not even going to try."  Pete relaxed a bit, but I
was still tense.

"Brian, I know I'm not saying this well.  I've never been very good at
telling anyone what I feel.  I'm trying, son. I really am.  I guess, well,
what I am trying to say is that, if you two are happy, then I'm happy for
you."  I felt my muscles relax a bit.

"You don't know what a difference you have made in Brian, Pete.  He
actually smiles now.  We didn't see him smile for three years.  Almost
every time he looks at you, he smiles.  You don't know how that makes us
feel, Lisa and me.  It makes us feel wonderful, and at the same time,
terrible.  Wonderful, because Brian has found happiness, but terrible
because we couldn't give that happiness to him."

"Mr. Kellam..."

"Ben.  You can call me Ben."

"Are you sure?"  Dad nodded.

"Ben, it wasn't your fault that Brenda decided to take me away.  Yes, you
made mistakes in how you dealt with Brian, but, as Bri says, it's all in
the past.  What matters now is how we live from this moment on."  Pete
looked up at me.

"I hope I make Brian happy.  I want to.  He means everything to me."  I
smiled, and he looked back at my dad.  "We still have things to work on,
but who doesn't?  He's getting the help he needs.  I'm here to help support
him, and to love him."

"I know that you love him Pete.  We love him, and you.  We want both of you
to be happy."

"Dad," I said, "I'm the happiest I've been in a long time."

"I can see that, son, and your mother and I don't want to do anything to
jeopardize that."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know, exactly.  We still have to talk about how things will be
when we get to Portland, like the living arrangements and such."

"I like living with the Pattersons."

"I know you do, but we'd like to have you at home, too.  Brian, you're
fifteen.  You'll be leaving for college in a little less than three years.
We've already lost so much of your childhood through the mistakes we've
made.  Your mom and I miss you.  Your sister misses you.  Can you see
that?"  I nodded.

Dad shook his head again.  "It's not something that needs to be decided
now.  It's a while yet before we actually get up there, although I may be
going back to Portland with you, but I'd have to drive a car up there.
Feel like a road trip, boys?"

Pete and I looked at each other.  He gave an infinitesimal nod.  "Sure.
When will we leave?"

"Saturday morning.  It's about seven hundred miles.  With the weather,
we'll probably stop somewhere along the way for the night."

"Uh, Dad?  Do you still snore?"  His snort answered my question.  "Maybe
we'll need two rooms, then."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"  My grin answered his question.  "Of course
you'd like that.  We'll see what happens."  He chuckled a bit, and we
settled in to watch our movie.

The afternoon passed quickly.  After watching the Indiana Jones trilogy, it
was about time for Pete and I to go up to Chris's house for dinner.  We
were going to eat around six, but I wanted some time to visit with them,
too.

I had told Pete about the kiss Chris and I had shared when I had returned
to Portland, and I was slightly worried that there would be bad blood
between them, but I shouldn't have worried.  Pete is above such things.

"Hey guys!  God, I missed you, Brian."  Chris embraced me tightly, then
released me.

"How have you been, Pete?"  Chris hugged him too, almost as tightly as he
had me.

"Come in!  Mom!  They're here!"  Same old Chris.

Kathlene stepped out of the kitchen and hurried over for another round of
hugs.  "How have you been, Brian?"  She put her hands on her hips.  "You
haven't been writing like you promised!  Hello, Pete."

"Hello, Mrs. Forn."

"It's good to see you again."  She smiled.

"You too."

"Okay.  I'd love to stand around and chat, but I have dinner to make.  You
boys go play nice."  She winked and went back to her kitchen.

"Let's go downstairs," suggested Chris.  They had a pool table down there,
as well as a kick-ass stereo system.

"Any music preference?"

"Nothing too hard, okay?"

"Sure.  No problem."  Chris pulled out a CD and threw it in.  A few seconds
later, Dire Straits wafted across the room.

Pete was pulling up the balls on the table while Chris made some
adjustments to the equalizer, then he racked the balls.

"You guys know how to play cutthroat?"  I knew, but Pete didn't.  "It's
easy.  First person to sink a ball gets to choose whether he is high,
middle, or low balls.  The next person to make one chooses from what's
left.  Last person with a ball on the table wins.  If you scratch, you have
the option of dropping one of your own balls, or bringing two balls back
up, one for each of us.  Other than that, gentleman's rules.  If you make
the shot you want, keep shooting.  If not, then step down.  Any questions?"
Seeing we had none, Chris motioned to the cue rack.  "Choose your weapons,
then."

I chose a stick I knew was straight, and Pete tested a couple by rolling
them before picking the one he wanted.

"Guest breaks, Pete."

"Okay."  Pete let fly with a decent break, sinking the five ball.  After
surveying the table for a moment, he said, "I'll take high."  He dropped
the four and the ten next, before missing a shot.

"You're up, Brian."  I took a shot, but missed miserably, almost
scratching.  "Haven't been practicing, have ya?"

Chris stepped up to the table, sank the three, called middle, and then
scratched.

I chuckled, "You haven't been practicing either!"  Since none of the high
balls had been sunk yet, Chris had to drop a middle.

Pete's next turn put me out of the game.  He dropped my remaining balls in
two shots, along with one of Chris's mids.

"Geez. No fair!"  Pete came over and kissed me on the nose.

"All's fair in love and war, babe."

Chris, who had watched the exchange, seemed suddenly uncomfortable.  He
botched his next shot, which he could have made blindfolded.  Pete, after
sinking his remaining balls, finished Chris off with a lucky shot, ending
the game.

Pete shook Chris's hand. "Good game."

"Yeah, you too.  You guys go ahead and play the next one.  I'm going to see
if my mom needs any help."

"Chris, you know your mom hates us in the kitchen when she's cooking."  He
stopped, glanced at Pete, and sighed. "What's bugging you?"

"Nothing.  I don't know.  I guess the reality hasn't set in yet."

"What reality?"

Pete spoke softly.  "The reality that you and I are together, Brian.  How
long have you loved him, Chris?"

Chris looked up sharply, glaring.  After a moment, his shoulders slumped.
"A couple years.  Since I realized I might be gay."

"Have you told your mom?"

"Hell, no!  I can't even tell David!  He'd kill me!"  David was Chris's
brother, who was currently in the Navy as a diver.

"I doubt that David would hurt you, Chris.  He loves you.  You know he
does.  Your mom loves you too."

"I'm not telling her."

"Maybe she suspects it, anyway.  Are you sure you're gay?" Pete's voice was
so gentle sounding, like when he was trying to soothe me.

"I have to sit down." Pete and I sat on the couch facing the big screen
television, while Chris sat in the recliner off to one side.  "I don't know
what I am.  I like girls, but I like boys, too."

"Maybe you're bisexual."

"I don't know.  God, what would my mom say?"

"She'd say it doesn't matter in the slightest."  Our heads whipped around
to see Kathlene standing at the bottom of the stairs.  "I don't care who
you love as long as you're happy with who you are and who you're with, like
Brian and Pete are."

"Mom!  Oh, God.  Oh shit.  Oh, fuck!"

"Chris, it's okay.  Really.  Chris, honey, I've known for quite awhile
now." She smiled and sat on the couch next to me.

"How did you find out?  I mean, I didn't know, and I've been so careful..."

"I'm not blind, Chris.  I watch you.  And in reality, it doesn't matter how
I found out.  The point is, I know, and I don't care, so you don't have to
hide it from me anymore."  Chris's expression kept changing back and forth
from horrified to relieved.  Relief finally won out, and he sank into the
chair even deeper, tears in his eyes.  "I've been trying to think of a way
to bring it up for a while, now, and I just came down to see if you boys
wanted anything to drink.  I overheard your conversation and listened until
I said something.  I'm sorry if it seems I was spying on you."

"No," Chris said in a shaky voice.  "It's okay."

Kathlene stood up.  "Come here, honey."  Chris stood, still seeming a bit
unsteady, and moved into his mother's embrace.  "I love you, Christopher.
Never, ever doubt that."  She squeezed him tightly, then pulled back to
gaze lovingly at his face.  "Okay?"

"Okay.  I love you, too."  Pete took my hand and smiled at me.  I could
read his thoughts.  This was the way it should be, between a parent and
their child.  Unconditional love.

"Come here, you two.  You get a hug as well."  We stood and she hugged us
both at the same time.  Letting us go, she said, "Now, can I get you guys
anything to drink?"

* * * * *

After Kathlene had left, Pete, Chris and I talked about everything that had
happened from the time he had left for Portland until we arrived two days
before.  Chris couldn't believe Pete was a legal adult, until Pete
presented him with his identification card.  Pete also told him all about
the Pattersons, and I even filled in a couple things he didn't know.

When it came time for dinner, we all sat at the table, eating and chatting
as if nothing had happened.  I think Chris was still in shock about coming
out to his mom.  The whole time he kept shaking his head in disbelief, eyes
wide in amazement.  Virtually no mention of his sexuality was made.
Instead, Kathlene questioned Pete and I about our plans for the future.

She nodded sagely as I told her I had mixed feelings about my parents
moving to Portland, because I didn't know what it would mean for my
relationship with Pete, and how we lived our lives.  Chris asked what I
meant, and I described our living conditions at the Pattersons.  He was
primarily interested in the fact that Pete and I shared a room.

"You mean, they don't care that you guys might have sex?  You do have sex,
right?"

"Christopher!  It's none of your business!"

I laughed and looked at Pete, taking his amused grin as permission to
answer Chris.  "Of course we do.  Kevin and Sharon are of the opinion that,
as long as we are careful doing what we are, they'd rather have us do it at
home, as opposed to someplace we may not be safe."

"Wow.  I don't see my mom being that cool."  He glanced to Kathlene who
looked just a bit uncomfortable.

"Well, I guess it's lucky we aren't in that situation, right Christopher?
Right?"  Chris didn't answer.  "We aren't in that situation, are we?"  All
the sudden, Chris broke out laughing his head off.  Kathlene's expression
changed from extreme worry, to anger, to chagrin as she cuffed him upside
the head.  "Don't scare me like that!  But I do have a question.  Would it
be a girl, or a boy sharing your bed?"

Chris blushed.  "I don't know.  Depends on the person.  Would it make a
difference?"

"Absolutely, it would!  You can't get another boy pregnant!"  Pete and I
looked at each other, both thinking the same thing.  We had never
considered that the fact we couldn't get pregnant might have been a
determining factor in the decision to allow Pete and I to live together.
It just never occurred to us.  Boys don't think about getting pregnant
unless they are with a girl, and even then some boys don't think about it.

Chris looked at his mom, then at us, and then at his plate.  "I don't know
which it would be."

"Chris, honey," began Kathlene, "It's not like you have to make a decision
right now which you want, or who you want to be with.  If you find a girl
you like, and you want to be with her, then that's great, but I don't want
you having intercourse with her until you can support a baby.  If you find
a boy you like and want to be with, then that would be fine too, but I
still want you to be safe."  She sat back and sighed as she ran her fingers
through her hair.

"If you do find someone and you do want to have sex, well...  it's
something I have to think about.  I just want you to know that I'm here,
and you don't have to be ashamed to come to me with questions or concerns
you may have.  I may be your mom, but I don't think I'm a prude."

"Thanks, Mom."  Chris sounded about half-way convinced.  Kathlene was cool,
but she was still his mom.  That'd be like going to my mom and asking her a
question about sex.  I just don't see that happening.

Dinner was over, and Kathlene served up an apple pie with ice cream.  It
was store bought, but it was delicious.

We talked a bit more about Portland, and about my parents moving.  We also
talked about maybe having Chris up for a couple weeks in the summer, or
Pete and me coming down.  Chris seemed excited at the idea of meeting the
Pattersons.

In the end, we agreed that we'd stay in contact.  I gave him Pete's phone
number and address, along with our e-mail addresses.  I hugged Kathlene,
and with a glance to Pete, kissed Chris on the cheek as I hugged him.  Pete
grinned and kissed Chris's other cheek, shocking both of us.  He's such a
character.

They walked us to the door, and with a final hug, said goodbye as we walked
into the cool, damp night.  The fog had settled in, and it felt like a mist
on our faces as we made our way home.  The streetlights were obscured, just
indistinct glows above us.  Pete took my hand in his, and squeezed
occasionally.

"Bri, why didn't you tell me that he fell in love with you?"

"I really didn't know it.  The only indication I had was a kiss the last
time I was here.  I didn't think it was important."

"The kiss didn't clue you in?"

"Like I said, I didn't think it was important.  And... I didn't know how to
deal with it."

"It's okay.  I wish I would have known before we went over there though."
I stopped walking.  My hand slid out of his as Pete continued for a couple
steps before turning around.  "What is it, Brian?"

"Are you afraid that I would rather be with Chris than you?"

"Should I be?"

"Absolutely not."  I stepped up to him.  The slope of the sidewalk put us
eye to eye.  "I didn't wait around for three years to find you and then
dump you.  I'm yours, for as long as you'll have me."

"Brian, don't do that.  Don't keep putting yourself down like that."

"I just don't understand why, though.  Look at how..."

"Fucked up you are?" I nodded, and Pete sighed.  Snaking his arms around my
waist, he spoke quietly.  "You are not fucked up.  You're a kid who's been
through some very hard times.  You're too serious for your own good, so
that makes it harder for you.  And the worst thing of all is that you can't
see anything good about yourself."  The mist changed into a light rain as
Pete continued.

"Brian, you're extremely good looking.  You have a great body.  You're an
excellent athlete.  You have a brain.  You're confident in your abilities.
You get a four-point without even trying.  You're strong, both physically
and emotionally.  You're a caring person, gentle and loving.  People love
you, Brian.  I know my mom and dad do.  Jason loves you to death.  So does
Ray.

"You may not be able to see the qualities that others see in you, but
they're there.  If they weren't, I wouldn't be willing to stick it out with
you.  I want to be with you, and not just through the good times.  If I
could marry you, I'd ask you in a heartbeat.  For better or worse."  He
kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I want you to do me a favor.  Every time you think of something you aren't
happy with about yourself, I want you to tell yourself something that I
like about you.  If you can't think of anything, ask me.  I've got a
million of them."  I gave Pete a shy smile.  "Now come here."

He pulled us into a tight embrace, and kissed me hard.  I returned his
kiss.  The feeling of his back under my hands, and his lips on mine was
nearly overwhelming.  "I love you, Brian Andrew Kellam.  There's no one I'd
rather be with than you, and I have no intention of getting rid of you."
Resting my head on his shoulder, we stood there for a while, the rain
getting heavier by the minute.

A car came over the hill and passed us, it's headlights briefly
illuminating Pete and me standing there on the sidewalk.  Raising my head,
I looked into his eyes.  "I love you, Pete."  I placed a lingering kiss on
his lips, enjoying the sensation of holding him in my arms, his lips
against mine.  When our kiss broke, we continued on our way, my arm around
his waist and his around my shoulders.

When we finally made it home, it was about eight-thirty.  Everyone had
settled in for the night in the living room, except Dawn, who was in her
room doing homework.  Mom and Dad barely acknowledged us as we came in,
engrossed in some television show.  Grampa was asleep on the couch.  Pete
and I retreated to my barren bedroom.

We got ready for bed, turned out the light, and lay on the air mattress, my
head and arm on Pete's chest.  Neither of us spoke.  I listened to Pete's
heartbeat, letting it relax me and calm my frazzled nerves.  He stroked my
back as he lay there, lost in his own thoughts.

A knock came at the door.  Sighing, Pete answered, "Come in."  The door
opened, revealing my mom.

"Is everything okay, boys?"

"Yeah, fine."  I was puzzled.  "Why?"

"Neither of you said anything as you came in.  I was just wondering."

"You and Dad were watching your show.  We didn't want to interrupt."

"Well, as long as everything's okay.  Goodnight, boys.  Don't keep your
sister up; she has school in the morning."

"G'night, mom."  She closed the door, returning the room to near total
darkness.  The only light in the room was what little leaked around the
blinds in the windows.  Raised myself up and propped my head on my hand.

"What, baby?"  I traced a line down his bare chest to his underwear, and
back up.

"Just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Everything that's happened.  How lucky I am to have you, to have
understanding parents, to be able to live with you at the Patterson's."  I
retraced the line to his underwear, and then draped my arm across his flat
stomach.

"We're pretty lucky, too, to have you in our lives.  I am the luckiest guy
in the world to have you."  Rolling back over, I rested my head on his
shoulder, pulling him into me.  A short time later, I was lulled asleep by
his strong heartbeat.

* * * * *

Dawn's scream woke me the next morning.  Pete was only half way awake,
though, not having moved at all through the night.

"Go back to sleep, babe."  He pulled me to him and hugged me before letting
me go.  I put on my sweats and crept out of the room, praying Dawn wouldn't
scream again.  I could hear her in the kitchen, bitching out dad for
running the dishwasher while she was in the shower.  Dad seemed to be
taking it well, apologizing profusely and not quite cracking a smile while
doing it.

"Morning, son."

"Morning.  Thanks for waking me up Dawn.  I wanted to get up at six
anyway."

"It was Dad's fault!  He was running the dishwasher and my shower got
cold."  She was pouting.

"I know.  So does Pete.  And probably the next door neighbors."  She
sniffed and walked past me to finish her shower.  I couldn't help but grin
at Dad after she had gone.

"Have a good night last night?"

"Yeah we did.  It was tense for a while, but things worked out.  Dinner was
good.  Chris might be coming up to Portland this summer for a couple
weeks."

"Sounds great!  What was all the tension from?"

"Uh, Chris and his mom needed to have a heart-to-heart while Pete and I
were there."

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah.  They straightened everything out.  They learned something about
each other last night, and it's going to take a while for them to get used
to things."  Dad clearly was confused. "Don't ask what it was.  I can't
tell you."

"All right, I won't ask.  What are your plans today?"

"Thought we'd see if Danny was around.  Other than that, no plans.  What
time do we leave tomorrow?"

"Around eight, I think.  I'll need help packing the car."

"We can do that tonight or tomorrow morning."

"I have to pack, too.  Your mother is going to help me do that."  His grin
told me that Mom would be doing all of the packing while Dad helped her by
staying out of the way.

"I'm going to go for a run.  I need one."

"Okay.  Have a good one."

"See ya in a bit."

It was still foggy out, with a slight drizzle to make it perfectly
miserable.  I decided to head for the school again.  I could run on the
track and not worry about my footing.  This was one of those runs where I
zoned out completely.  I really don't remember thinking about anything at
all.  I don't even know how many laps I ran on the track.  I made it back
to the house at seven-fifteen though, so I figure I ran about six miles.
Breakfast was being served when I walked in the door.  Pete was conscious,
but not really awake yet, dressed in a pair of sweats.  Mom kissed my cheek
as I passed her, wishing me good morning.  Dawn was already stuffing her
face.  Dad had just sat down.  Grampa, surprisingly enough, was also at the
table, moving and acting more normal than I had seen him in a long time.

"Pass the potatoes, please?"  He even spoke!

"Sure, Gramps."  I handed the bowl to Pete, who passed it on to my
grandfather.

"Thank you.  Would you like some, Pete?"

"Uh, yes, please."  After dishing his own potatoes, he handed them to Pete.

"Toast?"

"Please."

My father asked, "How are you feeling, Dad?"

"I'm feeling fine.  Feeling better than I have in years."

We all looked at one another in amazement.  What had bought this sudden
change to my grandfather?

"What happened, Dad?  Do you remember what happened?"

"'Course I do.  I remember everything."

"Then what happened?  You were like a zombie for a long time, Dad."

"I talked to your mother last night, Ben."  Again, we all looked at one
another, but Grampa was too busy buttering his toast to notice.  "She told
me to get off my duff and stop feeling sorry for myself.  You know your
mother.  She never could stand that."  I think we were all in shock.  This
was the grandfather I knew.  "Now what's this about moving to Portland?
Why would you want to live there?  It rains all the time."

"I have a job offer there, Dad.  A good one.  I'd be a fool not to take
it."

"Hmm.  And what about you, Lisa?  Do you have a job up there?"

"Not yet, but I won't have trouble finding one."  Mom looked unconcerned.

"And you, Brian?  You want to go up there to be with your friend?"

"Yes, Grampa.  I want to be with Pete."  No need to beat around the bush at
this stage of the game.  If he didn't like it, then we just wouldn't be
around him.

"Hmm. Well, who am I to say any different.  It's your life.  You have to
live with the consequences.  When do we move?"

Breakfast ended on a happy note.  I got my grandfather back, and grudging
acceptance of Pete as my boyfriend from someone who was very important to
me.

I just realized that I haven't told you anything about my grandfather.
Grampa John in his early sixties, about five-ten and just a little
overweight.  He was strong in his youth, but he tends to run to fat now.
He had thinning iron gray hair and penetrating blue eyes, with a
weather-beaten complexion.  He wore glasses most of the time.

After filling Grampa in on our plans, the family dispersed to their own
activities.  Mom took Dawn to school, and then went to work.  Dad spent his
time packing the personal effects he'd be taking with him.  We called Danny
and found out he'd be working all day, so Pete and I decided to go to the
beach.  Dad gave Pete the keys and admonished him to be extra careful.

"Yes, daddy."  His insufferable grin caused Dad to crack up.

"Get out of here, you scamps."

Pete and I glanced at each other, and chorused, "Yes, daddy!"  We made it
out of the house before he could hit us with anything.

We didn't say much during the short drive to the beach.  The radio was
playing some good tunes, so we sang along until we got parked.  We got out
of the car and took the steps down to the beach.  I followed Pete over the
rocks and to the sand.  He stopped there and took a deep breath, exhaling
slowly.

"I miss this," he said over the crashing of the waves.  "I miss coming to
the beach."  The wind was gusting around us, adding to the noise.

I wrapped my arm around his waist.  "We could drive out to the coast,
occasionally, as long as we don't go near Tillamook."  Pete laughed,
knowing that Tillamook was a dairy town and reeked of cows.

"Maybe we could go down to Newport or Cannon Beach."

"Yeah, that'd be great."  I took my arm from around his waist, and started
rubbing my hands together, wearing an evil grin.

"What?  What are you thinking, Brian?"

I didn't answer.  Instead, I popped him in the back of the head, yelled
"Tag!" and took off running like a bat out of hell.

"Oh, you bastard!"  He tore out after me.  I chanced a glance over my
shoulder and saw him gaining with his long strides.  I started to juke to
throw him off, but he just kept up with me until I felt his arms wrap
around me and drag me to the sand.  I was laughing so hard that I couldn't
even try to get away.  Pete was laughing too as he worked his way up my
body so we were eye to eye.

I was still struggling half heartedly, laughing.

"Whatcha gonna do now, smart ass, huh?"  I tried to get loose again, but he
was sitting on my chest holding my arms down.  I didn't make much progress.
He was chuckling, and then the smile faded from his face.  I stopped
laughing, but I still wore a grin for a moment.

"What's wrong, Pete?"

"Nothing's wrong, babe.  Do you remember the first time I ever took you
down like this?"

"Yeah. You had the same look you do now.  What's the matter, babe?"

"Nothing.  I just realized that moment was when I fell in love with you.  I
want to remember this, just like it is, forever."  He leaned forward and
kissed me gently.  "I love you, Bri."

"I love you, too," I whispered.  I bucked my hips and threw Pete over my
head.  As I scrambled to my feet, I said, "But don't think you'll catch me
that easily again!"  And off we went up the beach, playing around like we
were eleven or twelve.  He took me down again, but I managed to escape him.
At last I made it to the rocks at the end of the beach and let him grab me.

Both of us were giggling and out of breath as we held each other up.  I
tried to pull away, but Pete held me fast.

"I'm not letting go ever again."  I melted into his arms.

A few minutes later, I said, "I want to show you something," and led him by
the hand up the rocks to sit on top of the tallest one.  The wind was
whipping at us up there, and was cold with sea spray.  Pete sat next to me
and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me close again.  I soaked
in his warmth and strength, watching the waves crash below us, sending up
spray and foam.

"We should do this more often."

"Hmm?"

"Get off alone, have some fun.  I love my family, but sometimes it seems
like I'm being smothered.  Know what I mean?"

"Kind of," I said.  "I've been alone most of my life, so I guess I'm used
to it.  It doesn't take much for me to get overwhelmed when everyone wants
my attention."

"Do I make you feel like that?"

"Never.  It seems so right, being with you, like you're a part of me.  And
that's strange, because I never realized I felt that way.  I mean, I knew I
loved you, and that you loved me, but I've never felt that you were a part
of me.  I'm not explaining it very well."

"No, I think you're doing okay.  I can understand.  I always felt like you
were a part of me, until things got so bad a while ago, then it felt like
part of me was missing."

"Pete, I'm scared.  I'm scared that I don't love you enough."

"You don't love me?"  He spoke with a tinge of panic in his voice.

"Of course I do!  I love you more than I love myself.  But compared to the
way you love me, I don't feel like I do enough.  It seems like all I do is
drag you down."

"That again?  Brian, for crying out loud, stop it!  Jesus. You give me
plenty back."  He pulled my chin toward him until I met his eyes.  "I love
you.  My God, Brian.  I don't know how to make it any clearer.  I- love-
you.  All of you.  Everything about you."  Tears started running down my
cheeks.  "I know you love me, in my head, but in my heart, I can't feel it.
It's like my heart is disconnected.  I don't know how to reconnect it."

Pete pulled me into him, holding my head to his chest.  "It's going to take
time, Brian, but don't you ever forget I'm here for you, no matter what.
I'm not going anywhere.  Maybe you can ask Will about it; see what he has
to say."

I nodded.  "I'll do that."  Sitting up, I moved closer to Pete and wrapped
my arm around his waist, and held him tight against me.  Together, we sat
there watching the tide come in, the waves crashing on the rocks below,
much like the thoughts in my head.

===0=== 
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