Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 21:27:53 -0700
From: dewey2k <dewey2k@yahoo.com>
Subject: For the Love of Pete 20

  This story is a work of erotic fiction involving teenage boys partially
based on real people and events.  Names have been changed to protect the
guilty as well as the innocent.  All the usual rules apply.  If you
shouldn't be reading this now, then don't continue on.

Copyright Notice - Copyright September 2000 by Dewey.

  This story is copyright by the author and the author retains all rights.
This work may not be duplicated in any form, physical, electronic, audio,
or otherwise without the authors expressed permission.  All applicable
copyright laws apply.

For the Love of Pete
Chapter Twenty

I awoke the next morning to Pete's gentle kiss on my cheek.  Last night had
been incredible.  It was the first time we had gone beyond feeling each
other, beyond a simple hand job.  Before we had moved into oral sex, we
talked about it briefly and decided it wouldn't violate the boundaries we
had set on ourselves.  We both wanted to wait until we turned 18 for
anything more.  But I was sure that this would be enough for now.

I still couldn't believe the feelings that had overwhelmed me.  I knew it
would feel great, but this was indescribable.  Nothing had mattered except
what Pete was doing at that second.  It's lucky I had plenty of practice
silencing my moans at home.  If I had let them out this time, the whole
neighborhood would have known what we were doing.  And after Pete had
brought me to the best orgasm of my young life, I did the same for him.  It
was almost as good as receiving.  At least it kept me excited enough for
round two and three.

"Good morning, babe."  I turned my head to face him, but I wasn't prepared
for what I saw.  I had never seen that look on anyone's face before.  In
the time I had known him, as a kid or during that week, never had his
expression conveyed so much emotion.  I couldn't help but stare at him.  I
even backed off several inches so I could see him better.  His eyes
followed mine as I moved, liquid pools of the most beautiful blue God had
ever created.  There was so much to see as I looked deeper into his eyes,
things obvious and things hidden, things he meant for me to see and things
he tries to prevent me from seeing, things on the surface and things
submerged so deeply they would never see the light again.  There was so
much there I felt I was drowning in his eyes, unable to think, unable to
move, unable to breathe. Pete stroked my cheek gently, a sadness clouding
that clear blue. Tears fell from his eyes as he spoke, his voice choked and
ragged.

"I love you, Brian."  We met halfway and embraced. Pete buried his head
into my bare chest.  He encircled me with his arms and tried to crush
me. Pete held on to me like a drowning man to a life preserver, making it
difficult to breathe.  His body was shaking with barely concealed sobs,
which strengthened as time went on.  All I could do was stroke his hair as
he tried to keep from crying.

"Oh, God, Bri.  What would I do without you?  I can't survive if you aren't
here with me.  I'm so scared you won't be able to stay here with me."  He
was looking at me again, his eyes pleading for me to tell him everything
would be fine, like a child to a parent.  "If you have to leave, I'm going
to die!  I can't handle it!"  Tears were still streaming down his face as
he once more buried his face.  I let him sob for awhile longer, unsure what
to say to assuage his pain.

"Pete, it will work out.  Remember, we have both made it this far, and we
will make it farther if we have to.  We don't know what's going to happen
yet.  If I have to go home, then it'll be no different than it has been,
except that we know we are still in love.  We can talk to each other and
write, and see each other on the holidays..."

His head jerked back, staring at me once more.  "I can't go back to the way
it was!  I need you!  I need you here, to feel you next to me, to hold me,
to help me when things get difficult.  I could have dealt with it.  Until
last night.  After last night, I... I can't be without you and still live.

"What we shared last night, the bond between us was strengthened so much
that it can't be broken.  I... Brian... it's... it's hard to describe what
I feel for you.  It's like you are my soul, and if you leave me, it will
rip my soul out, leaving me an empty shell.  This is so far beyond what I
felt before.  This is the real thing.  The love I felt before didn't even
scratch the surface of what I feel for you now.  I opened myself up to you
last night, and you took me to somewhere I've never been.  You are so much
a part of me that it is impossible to imagine being without you for any
length of time.  Can you understand that?  Do you feel it?  Even the
slightest amount?  Do you love me?"

Searching inside, I realized that I had suppressed all the emotions I felt
for Pete, just like I always had after he was taken.  It was so fucking
easy to do that it was instinctual now.  But what was the cost?  Never
feeling joy...excitement... or love.  I suppressed them to avoid the
inevitable pain that would come when we were separated again.  Tears formed
in my eyes, bittersweet tears.  I knew I loved him, and I wanted to be with
him forever, but the feelings created by that love and longing were blocked
out, not to be experienced, locked away in a dark corner of my heart,
perhaps never to be released.

Pete saw my hesitation and feared the worst, that I didn't love him.  I saw
his bottom lip quivering, and his eyes were pleading, trying not to believe
that I didn't love him.  I didn't leave him in doubt.

"Pete, I do love you.  More than my own life.  Last night was so special to
me too, that I don't even know how much it meant yet."  I squeezed him
tight to me, relishing the feel of his skin against mine.  "It's hard for
me to feel, Pete.  It's like I am numb to feelings, emotions.  I know how I
should feel, but I can't feel that way.  I know I love you, my mind knows
that I love you, but my heart is afraid to feel that love, or the love you
give me.  That's what I meant when I said I didn't feel close to you.  It
wasn't you.  Never had been.  It's always been me, afraid of getting too
close.

"It doesn't matter what the emotion is either.  Happiness, sadness, anger,
joy, love... all of them are dealt with the same.  I swallow them up.
Ignore them.  I can't control it anymore.  It's automatic.  And I don't
know how to stop doing that.

"I do love you.  I know that.  I hope you know that.  Do you know that?"
He nodded and squeezed me.  "Good.  I was afraid you didn't, the way I've
been acting."  He looked up at me and stroked my face again, a smile
crossing his lips.

"Brian, I understand.  I had the same problem for awhile.  There are people
that can help you learn to feel again.  Sharon, Jason, Kevin, they all
helped me.  Even Ray.  It's not easy, and it can be painful at times, but
I'll help you through it.  We all will.  And you are right."  He sighed
heavily.  "We will get through no matter what happens.  We are too strong
to let it get us down for long.  And we will find a way to make things
work, one way or another."

He shifted his body until we were eye to eye, chest to chest, heart to
heart.  Once more I lost myself in those deep pools of blue, this time
clear of any cloudiness.  We lay there lost to one another nearly forever.
Something happened during that deep rapport. I became conscious of a bond
between us, a bond to my innermost being, to my soul.  Pete and I were
connected in a way no one else would understand, even if I could have
explained it to them.  This was what Pete talked about, that connection he
tried to describe to me.  The feeling wasn't strong, but it was there.

"I feel it, Pete.  I feel it!"  His answering smile negated any further
need of words, but I had to tell him anyway.  "I love you with all my soul,
Pete."  He put a finger on my lips, silencing me, halting any conversation.
If it was possible, we moved closer together and just held each other,
enjoying the feel of being together, the meeting of our minds, the joining
of our souls.

Sometime later that morning, there came a discrete knock on the door.

Still in a daze, Pete answered, "Come in."  I don't think my dad was
prepared for what he saw.  He cleared his throat, looked behind him, came
in the room, and closed the door. As he walked to the desk, he took in the
clothing strewn about the floor, noticing that our shorts were on top.
Pete and I were completely awake by the time Dad took the chair.  I rolled
onto my side to face him.  Pete snuggled up behind me and threw his arm
around me, leaving no doubt in my dad's mind what had happened.

"I don't know where to start, boys.  Just last week, I finally came to the
realization that all of this is real, Brian hating us, you two being gay,
and being a couple.  Just yesterday, I watched my son kiss another boy, a
boy I have also loved as a son.  But those boys, both my son and his
friend, are still twelve and thirteen in my mind.  I see you two as you are
right now, and it forces me to deal with the fact you are no longer those
little boys I remember so well.  You are young men, learning who you are
and what you want out of life.

"I'm not going to lie to you, boys.  I have too much to lose now to do
that.  I lost it once before because I didn't realize what it was I had.
I'm sorry for that, Brian.  I always will be."

"Dad, it's over and done with. It's in the past.  Let it rest."

"I'll try....  I have watched you two since I first saw you together.  I
can see that there is a connection between you.  And judging by this
morning, it is a strong connection.  How strong of a connection do you guys
think it is?"

Pete spoke immediately with conviction.  "I love Brian like I love
myself. More, if that is possible.  I'd die for him, and I mean that.  He
is part of my soul, and I can't imagine what I would do without him.  I
intend to spend the rest of my life with him.  No matter what."

Dad was taken aback by Pete's forcefulness, blinking several times.  I'm
sure he didn't expect that type of response, instead looking for a
superficial, immature answer he could use against him, perhaps. Pete's
serious manner never changed from when he began speaking until well after
my dad responded.

"And how do you feel about Pete, son?"

"The only reason I am alive today is Pete.  He fills a huge void in my
life, a void nothing and no one else can fill.  He is so much more than a
friend I can't describe it.  Like he said, I'd die for him without
hesitation.  I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

My father's face grew pensive as he reflected upon what we had said.  His
emotions slid across his face with every new thought, ranging from
happiness to rage, acceptance to defiance.  He was quiet long enough to
make me nervous, and that was compounded by the fact I was in bed, naked,
next to my boyfriend, in front of my Dad.  I began to fear the worst as
time passed, and finally did the last thing I had ever thought I would do
in this situation: I asked him a question.

"Dad, what are you thinking?"  There was a note of fear in my voice, sure.
But what do you expect a fourteen year old boy to do under those
circumstances?  Be unfazed?  Hell no.

He raised his gazed and looked me in the eyes, and then Pete.  "I'll be
honest with you, since you were honest with me.  I am afraid.  I am afraid
for you two, and what you will inevitably face as a gay couple.  I've heard
how things are.  I am afraid of all the drugs that go with that lifestyle.
I am afraid of AIDS.  I am afraid you'll end up like Matthew Shepherd,
beaten and left to die on some road in the middle of nowhere.  I'm afraid
one day I'll wake up and not have you two to love any longer.  Pete is like
another son to us.  You boys both mean so much to Lisa and me.  Imagine how
you would feel if the other died.  That is what it would feel like to us if
anything happened to either of you, God forbid both of you."  His eyes
started to water as he made the last few statements.

"Dad, how do you feel about us?  About seeing us like this?"  I was getting
to be bold in my young age.

He took in a deep breath and released it slowly.  "I love you two.
Granted, I didn't expect you two to love each other the way you do, but
I'll get used to it.  As a father, I know that I can't control what you do
every second of your life.  I know you two are going to have sex regardless
of what I or your mother say.  But there are a few rules I will set for you
two when you are in our house.

"Rule one.  Be discrete.  No one should know you are having sex.  I
shouldn't be able to tell, Lisa shouldn't and Dawn definitely shouldn't.
Rule two.  Well, not a rule really.  More of a request.  We want you to
abstain from anal sex until you two are out on your own.  The idea of that
act is distasteful to us, but we are realistic as well.  Again we know we
can't control your actions twenty-four-seven.  If you decide to take that
step before you have your own place, we ask you not to do it in our house."

"We aren't going to do that anyway.  We decided to wait a long time ago.
Before we were separated." Dad's relief was visible.  "That covers sex, but
what about the other stuff.  Can we hold hands, or kiss?"

"As long as you are in a safe place with people who know about you two,
then yes.  In public, I would rather you didn't for safety's sake.  If you
are in our home, then feel free, within reason, of course.  As far as Dawn
goes, we will talk to her and explain what to expect.  I'm sure she'll have
questions to ask."

He shrugged, more from tension than anything.  "I'll let you guys get out
of bed now.  It's almost eleven o'clock.  The day is wasting."

"You didn't answer my question.  How do you feel when you see us together,
holding hands, kissing, or seeing us like this?"

"I told you.  I love you both and I want you to be happy.  You and Pete
need each other to be happy.  What kind of father would I be if I separated
you two because I was uncomfortable?  I know you aren't going to change,
not that I want you to; you are still my sons, and I love you the same, be
you gay, straight, or whatever.  I am the one that has to readjust my
thinking.  But never think that I don't care about you two and your
happiness."  He moved toward the door.

I sat up.  "Dad!"  He turned back to face us.  Pete and I glanced to one
another and said simultaneously, "We love you, too."

He smiled and replied, "Thank you, boys.  Now get dressed."  The door
closed behind him.

I lay back down, and Pete was on top of me in a flash, kissing me deeply,
leading me to a giggle fit.  "I told you things would work out."

"Yes, you did, Bri.  At least your dad accepts us.  What about your mom?"

"She's pretty much fine with it.  I'll talk to her later after Dad fills
her in and make sure."

"Hey, Bri?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know how much I love you?  Do you really know?"

"You show me all the time, Babe.  With everything you do.  All I know is I
am going to spend my whole life trying to show you how much I love you."  I
wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding him to me.  I love the full
body contact, feeling him against me.  He did his best to hug me back, but
he couldn't get his arms under me. He stopped trying and melted into me.
We lay there a couple moments longer, and then Pete jumped up.

"I'm going to take a shower.  We made a bit of a mess last night."

I giggled.  "Yeah, we did.  I'll be right behind you."

"You could go in with me..."  His eyes held a playful glint, as if daring
me to follow him.

"Go get the water started.  I'll be there in a few."  He grinned broadly in
triumph as he put on his shorts and raced for the bathroom, trying to get
there before a rising erection betrayed him.

I took my time, getting out my clothing for the day and laying it on the
bed, then following after him.  I started with a leisurely pace, but I had
to speed up as I thought about Pete naked in the shower.

He was indeed already in the shower, steam rising from behind the curtain.
As I shut and locked the door behind me, the shower curtain slid open,
revealing my glistening golden- haired blue-eyed god.  He spread his arms
wide, smiling.

"Come to me, my love."  * * * *

"Welcome back to the world of the living, boys."  Sharon was in the process
of making lunch for all of us.  As usual, she was cooking so much food that
there was no way we could eat it all.  Pete and Sharon looked at me as my
stomach growled loudly, betraying my hunger.  Pete giggled and patted my
belly fondly.  Perhaps we could finish all the food after all.

Jason, Ray, Pete, and I sat in the living room as the "adults" commandeered
the kitchen for themselves.  Danny had appeared at some point. I don't
remember him coming in.  Joanne apparently was off at a friends place for
the weekend.  Pete had mentioned this was a regular thing with her.

Ray was giving Pete and I that knowing look he had down so well.  "Well?
Are you gonna tell us about it?"  His tone annoyed me, but Pete beat me to
the punch.

"Tell you about what, Ray?"

"You know!  What you two did last night.  Must have been something pretty
good, 'cause I heard you two going at it as I went to the bathroom last
night."

"What we did last night or what we do in the future is none of your
business, Ray.  I don't ask you how you jack off.  Show us the same
courtesy."

"Thought so."  His grin widened.

Jason jumped in.  "That reminds me, Bro.  Jared was asking about you
yesterday.  He was asking if you'd be interested in hanging out with him
tonight."

Ray was looking at Pete, expecting him to be the target of Jason's
comments, but when he saw us looking at him, he turned to Jason and in a
squeak, asked, "Me?"

"Yeah you.  I have his phone number if you want it."

"I can't call him!  What will I say?"

"How about, 'This is Ray, would you be interested in going out with me
sometime.'"

"It's not that easy!"

"Sure it is.  What, do you want me to set up a date for you?"

"No.  Yes.  I mean, I'll call him."  Ray was obviously discomfited but the
sudden interest of Jared.  It was rather amusing.

"Well, are you gonna make him wait forever, or are you going to pick up the
phone?"

"Gimme his number."  Jason wrote it down on a scrap of paper and handed to
Ray, who stomped off up the stairs for the privacy of the office.  The
instant he was out of sight, the three of us cracked up.

"Thanks, Jason.  I was afraid I was going to have to come down on him
again."

"You may still have to.  At least he has his own love life to deal with
now."

"You're serious about Jared liking Ray?"

"Yeah.  He has been asking about him off and on for a while now.  I finally
said I'd get Ray to call him today.  I hope they hit it off. Both of them
need someone to help stabilize them."

Pete asked incredulously, "You call Ray a stabilizing influence?"

"For Jared, he will be.  For anyone else, including most governments, Ray
is incredibly dangerous."  I half grinned.  Ray was definitely a unique
person, and it would take a special person to be with him.

We finished our brunch and put away our dishes.  The adults were heading
out to see what they could find in the way of jobs for Mom and Dad.  Ray
was still on the phone with Jared.

"Hey, you guys want to go to the beach?"

"What?  In this weather?"  We looked out the window, and sure enough,
Oregon's patented liquid sunshine was falling.  It wasn't falling hard,
though, so we could still go if we wanted to.  But we didn't really want
to.  Suddenly, a huge smile broke across Pete's face.  He jumped up and
caught Sharon as she was going out the garage door.  He quietly asked her
something, she frowned for a few seconds, then shrugged.

"Sure. Why not.  You still have your check card, right?"

"Yes, mom.  I still have it.  It's not like I use it that often."

"I know.  Have fun, but don't you dare go way overboard."

"Well, you know what I want, so I'll do what I have to to get it. And just
a bit more."

She sighed that long-suffering parental sigh, and shook her head in
amusement. "We'll see you later.  Be good, boys."

Pete came back into the house.  "Hey Jason, how about driving us down to
Wilsonville.  They have a good theater down there, and there are a couple
of other things I need to do down that way."

"Sure.  It'll get us out of the house.  What about Ray?"

Pete started up the stairs.  "I'll check on him."  He disappeared into the
office and reemerged not a moment later, grinning.  "He's busy.  He said
Jared was going to pick him up about one."

"As long as he leaves a note for Mom and Dad.  Maybe I should just leave
the note myself.  Ray'll probably forget."  Jason went to the kitchen to
write the note.  I darted upstairs to get my jacket.  When Jason was done,
we went out and got in the car.

We rocked all the way down 26 and 217 to the I-5 interchange.  Just before
the merge from 217, there was a huge pileup. Debris was widely spread.  I
saw one semi and five cars, two overturned. Another had sandwiched between
a huge pick-up and the tractor- trailer.  There were emergency vehicles
everywhere, and traffic was completely stopped in the Southbound direction.
Ambulance crews were swarming over the crushed car, trying to extract the
driver and passenger.

"That is why you drive carefully in the rain, guys."  We nodded in mute
agreement.

Looking closer as we inched our way to the freeway, the paramedics removed
a young boy from the car, his body hanging limply from the fireman's arms.
There didn't seem to be a mark on him from what I could see.  He was placed
on a gurney, and then the fireman zipped up the body bag that had been
staged there.  The boy couldn't have been more than eleven.

Tears sprang unbidden to my eyes as I shrank from the scene outside, but I
couldn't shake the image of that young face being hidden from sight by a
zipper.  "So young."  I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud until Pete asked
me to repeat myself.

"What did you say?"  I didn't answer, trying to hide my eyes from both Pete
and Jason.  "Brian, did you say something?"  Pete was looked back, and
happened to catch sight of a tear as it fell off my nose.  "Bri, what's
wrong?"  I glanced at him, and saw Jason watching me in the rearview.

"That boy died.  He was so young. He had his whole life in front of him,
then this happened.  Why did that have to happen to him?"  Pete was clearly
confused, unsure where I was coming from.  Jason was watching me more than
he was watching the car in front of us, resulting in an abrupt stop,
throwing us into our seatbelts.  "I'll be fine.  Watch the road.  Just give
me a few."

The problem I had was I didn't know where this had come from either. I had
no reason to care about that boy anymore than I would care about any other
accident victim, yet I had cried over his death.  I felt sorrow and regret
at his passing, mourning the loss of his young life and everything he might
have become.  He may have become a good friend in the future, or a husband,
or a father.  How many lives had just been devastated by his loss?  Tears
came anew.  I was weeping silently.  Pete was trying to watch me and stay
in his seat at the same time.  I waved him off, to no avail.

At some point, we had made it to the freeway and were about half way to the
Wilsonville exit.  We got off the freeway, went up to the second light and
turned left.  I saw a building up ahead that had a domed roof, and theater
building behind it.

"Pull into Fry's, Jason.  I have some things I need to get."

"You're the boss."

The inside of the store was HUGE.  There was everything from televisions to
CDs to computer games to components to build your own computer.  Pete
didn't hesitate.  He got a cart, and went straight for a salesperson.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes.  I need everything on this list."  He handed her a folded piece of
paper.  She opened and read it, her eyes widening slightly, probably
because of the commission she made on that sale.  Pete ended up buying the
pieces for a cutting edge computer system: The best processor, maximum RAM,
best motherboard, largest hard drive, video card, sound card...  you name
it, he got it.  I didn't even want to know what it cost.  There is no way
We could have afforded it.  I suppose he was using some the allowance his
grandparents left him.

The whole time Pete was picking out components, Jason and I stood back a
bit, watching him work.  I'd hate to have to negotiate with Pete.  He knows
what he wants, and he is going to get it.  I actually felt sorry for the
girl who helped him.  He put her through the wringer searching the
warehouse and stockrooms for exactly what he wanted.  In the end, though,
he wrote her a recommendation to the manager.  She seemed happy enough by
the time we were done.

We managed to get everything in the trunk of the car, barely.  By mutual
agreement, we headed home to set up the new system.  We again passed the
scene of the accident.  I couldn't see anything from where we were, except
the tops of the fire engines that still lingered.

The trip back to Pete's went very quickly for me.  I spent the time
thinking about my response to seeing that boy.  Why now, when I need to be
strong, did my emotions betray me, when I've held them firmly in check for
so long?  What had happened to cause me to lose that control?

This last week, that's what.  It finally dawned on me how much I had
actually gone through in the last few days.  I met Pete again after nearly
three years of separation.  I had come to terms with my past.  I talked to
my parents openly and honestly about my life, and where I wanted to go.
And I had cried like a baby, grieving all that had been lost during our
separation.  No wonder I was an emotional basket case.

Ray was gone when we got home.  We unpacked everything from the trunk into
Pete's room, and between the three of us we had the system up and running
in under three hours.  We spent the rest of the day playing Risk, waiting
for everyone to return for dinner.  About six, the phone rang.  Jason
answered it, and after hanging up, told us we were on our own. The adults
were going partying.

My Mom and Dad, partying?  Yeah, RIGHT!

The phone rang again.  It was Ray, asking to stay over at Jared's.  Since
no one was there to ask, Jason told him he could, if he was good, and safe.
Of course, Ray being who he was, made some smart-assed remark before he
hung up.

"What are we going to do about dinner?"  Pete was hungry.  We all were. And
we all had the same idea.

"Pizza!"  Jason made the call, got two large Supremes, and came back to the
game.  The rest of the night was Risk, pizza, soda, and a movie.

We were still up when Kevin and Sharon got home, just finishing a really
gory sci-fi flick.  Kevin was obviously three sheets to the wind, and
feeling good. Sharon said goodnight and managed to direct him up the stairs
to their bedroom.

Pete gave a good yawn, which was quickly followed by Jason's and my own.
"Bed time.  See you guys in the morning."  Jason made his way upstairs as
Pete and I tidied up a bit before hitting the sack ourselves.  We didn't
even talk once in bed.  I snuggled up to Pete, spooning him, resting my arm
across him.  He moved my arm to wrap around him, and then sleep overtook
both of us.  * * * * *

We didn't see hide nor hair of the adults until well after noon the next
day.  We young'uns found that to be hysterical.  After a growl from Kevin
as he gingerly ate his lunch, we made good on our escape, laughing all the
way to the car.

It was still raining, a bit harder than it had the day before.  We decided
to go to the mall and hang around, maybe shop for some clothes or
something.  I was moving away from the tee-shirt-and-jeans look I had
always favored, instead going for the colored tee and open shirt with
slacks.  Jason and I tried some on, coming out for Pete's opinion.  I came
out wearing a black tee, an olive green shirt, and black Dockers.  I
thought I would have to suck Pete up with a wet-vac, he melted so fast.

He quickly pushed me back in the dressing room and lay a deep kiss on me.
He backed off, a gleam in his eyes.  "You look so hot in that.  You're
getting it."

"I don't have the money, Pete."

He smiled a wicked little smile, saying, "It's a birthday present to
myself.  I get too much enjoyment out of it for me to give to you for your
birthday."  He giggled.

There was a knock on the door, and we froze.  "Are you guys done in there?"
Jason.  "Come on.  It's almost three-thirty, and we have to be back soon."
We kissed once more, quickly, and Pete left the dressing room so I could
change back into my clothing.

Pete took the new clothes as I threw them over the door and went off to pay
for them.  Jason was still waiting for me as I came out.

"Do I really want to know what you two were doing in there?"

"Depends on how squeamish you are."

"You're right, I don't want to know."  He grinned as he watched Pete
waiting in the long line at the register.  The clerk was apparently
inexperienced and having some trouble.

"You know he really loves you, right?  I can see it in his every move,
every time he looks at you, anytime he is around you.  He loves you
absolutely."

"Hmm.  If it's that obvious, maybe we need to be more careful."

"That's not what I meant.  It's obvious to me, but others wouldn't see it
unless they knew.  But you didn't answer my question."

"I know he loves me.  He's proven it so many times."

"Do you love him?"

"What do you think? Do I love him?"

"Of course you do.  It's easy to see that too, but it's different with you.
Not bad, but different."  A couple of boys came over to where we were
standing to look at clothes.  We motioned to Pete we'd be out front.  He
still had three people in front of him, and his was the shortest line.

"Different how?"

"You seem to be more... reactive in your moods.  More volatile. You can be
in the best mood all day, and instantly be angry or depressed.  And once
those emotions set in, it's extremely difficult to get you out of them."
Pretty well sums me up.

"I suppose that's true.  I don't know what to do about it though."

"You'll get help over time whether you want it or not, especially if you're
going to be around our family."

"But I don't even know if I will be here.  It's always hanging over my
head.  Just when I think I'm happy, I remember it could all end on Sunday.
It's hard to enjoy the time I do have with Pete knowing that."

"Have you told Pete about that?"

"I tried.  I don't think he really understands.  Everyone tells me I worry
too much.  I don't know how to not worry."  I looked at Pete and saw he was
next in line.  "He means so much to me, yet I can feel myself pushing away
from him sometimes because of the uncertainty."

Jason squeezed my shoulder.  "I know it will all work out. Too much has
happened already for you to be split now."

We stood there quietly waiting for Pete to finish up at the register.  I
noticed they had switched cashiers, which was why the line was moving now.
When he was done, the three of us headed for the car, and home.

Everyone was there, except Danny, who flew home that afternoon.  Sharon and
Mom whipped up a buffet-style dinner that seemed to go on forever.  I got
my first plate around five and finished my last about seven.  The whole
time, we roamed around talking to whomever was in front of us.  I got the
surprise of the day when Mom suggested I go to school with Pete and Jason a
few days in the next week to see how I liked it.

I shrugged.  "Sure.  Why not."  It was settled.  I had to make sure I had
suitable clothing, though.

We boys retired to Pete's room and gathered around the computer, playing a
four-sided game of Risk.  I had the bad luck of being placed next to Pete,
and he crushed me early on.  I got a kick out of watching Pete and Jason
try to kill each other, depleting their armies, and then allowing Ray to
walk over the both of them.  By the time the game ended, it was after ten.
Mom and Dad had gone back to the farmhouse, while Sharon and Kevin had put
Joanne to bed and hit the sack themselves.

Ray and Jason retreated to their own rooms.  We undressed and settled in
for the night, Pete spooning me much as I did him the night before.  I fell
asleep quickly, feeling warm, content, and safe in his arms.

* * * * *

An ungodly noise disturbed my slumber.  I sat straight up looking for the
source before I realized it was Pete's alarm clock.  He lazily reached over
and hit the snooze bar, then pulled me down beside him, resting his head on
my shoulder.

"Good morning, Bri."

"Morning, babe."  This was something I could get used to.

"How did you sleep?"

"Pretty good until that damn alarm clock went off."

He giggled as he stretched.  "Yeah, well, you don't want to be late for
your first day of school, do you?"  I glanced at the clock.  6:02 AM.

"The only time I get up this early is for wrestling practice."

A small, mischievous grin crossed his face.  "Wrestling practice, huh?"  In
a flash he was on top of me, holding me down at the wrists, but not really
trying.  My struggling was more for show than any real attempt to get free.
He stared into my eyes for the longest time, and then collapsed onto me,
his arms wrapped under my shoulders.  "I love you, Brian, with all my
heart."  He once more rested his head on my shoulder.

"I love you too, Pete."  I encircled him with my arms, holding him to me.
A few minutes later, the alarm went off again.  Pete groaned and rolled off
of me to get to the alarm clock.  I took the opportunity to get out of bed
and head for the shower.  He pouted a bit, but smiled as I blew him a kiss
on the way out the door.

I was the first person in the bathroom, so I took care of my morning
ablutions and hopped into the already warm shower.  I scrubbed myself clean
and got out in record time.  Passing Pete in the hall, I gave him a shy
smile, which he returned.

By the time he came back to the bedroom, I was dressed and going downstairs
for breakfast.  I was wearing the things he had bought for me yesterday.
He just about lost his towel when he saw me come out of the bedroom, and
his jaw literally dropped.

"Oh, my God.  You are absolutely beautiful, Brian."

"Yeah, he is, ain't he!"  Turning my head, I saw Ray smirking at us.
Rather than let him ruin the moment, I stroked Pete's cheek with my hand,
smiling at him as I did.  He grabbed my hand and kissed it before
reluctantly letting it go.  Pete went on into the bedroom to get dressed as
I turned for the stairs.  Ray went to the bathroom for his shower.

I had a thought.  An evil thought.  I crept back upstairs to the bathroom
door.  I waited until I heard Ray in the shower, then I opened the door
slightly, reaching around to lift his towel off the rack.  Ray didn't hear
a thing.  I took his towel and put it on his bed, and then went down for
breakfast.

A few minutes later I heard Ray.  "HEY!  Where the hell is my towel!  Pete!
Gimme my towel or I'll pound you!"

Pete peaked his head out of his room.  "You'd try.  But I didn't take
it. I've been in here.  Ask Brian."

Comprehension slowly dawned on Ray's face.  "BRIAN!  You just wait!  You'll
pay!"  Unashamedly, Ray marched across the hall, stark naked, to the linen
closet to get another towel.

"Are you children done playing?"  Sharon asked, an amused expression on her
face.  I considered my answer.

"Probably not, knowing Ray."

She laughed and went to get Joanne out of bed.

Pete came down soon after, dressed to kill.  He was wearing something
similar to me, but his shirt and tee were blue.

"Um, Pete, maybe we should change clothes.  I mean, I don't want to out
myself by staring at you all day, you know."

"I don't want to either.  But I think I can control myself."

"I hope so.  I know I can, but it's going to be damn hard."

"Yes, I imagine both of us will be."  He giggled.  I love that sound.
"Don't worry.  Everybody will know that you are a friend from my old home
town.  They won't think anything of us sitting or walking together.  As
long as we're careful, we have nothing to worry about."

I sighed and nodded an affirmative.  I was still scared inside.  I was used
to playing it straight, and had for so long now.  The situation, though,
had changed.  Before I didn't have to worry about slipping, because I
didn't have a beautiful boy to keep distract me.  Now, he would be near me,
and I wasn't sure I could keep focused on school.  Today would be a really
good indication.  If I come close to blowing it today...

"Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Geez, Bri, don't sound so enthused."  He lightly punched my arm, and I
flashed him an annoyed look.  He noticed and realized I wasn't in the best
of moods.  "You doing okay, Bri?"

"Sorry.  I'm just thinking again."

"Well, stop.  You don't need to think for school anyway.  You never have
before, right?"

I grinned.  "You're right.  I can be brain dead just as well as anybody
else."

"There you go.  Let's do it."

Kevin made his appearance, wearing a brown suit, looking every inch the
lawyer.  As he came down the stairs, I asked, "Working today?"

"Yup.  It's mandatory that I show my face in the office once a month."  He
grinned.  "Actually, I have to take a deposition this morning and then I
come home.  You guys ready to go?  I have to head out and I can drop you
off if you'd like."

"I think so.  Let me get my things."  Pete dashed upstairs to retrieve his
books.

"How are you feeling, Brian?"

Again, I flashed that annoyed look, and then apologized.  "Sorry, Kevin.
I'm just tired of answering that question, you know?  I've been asked so
many times in the last week I think I'm going to kill the next person that
asks.  And I'm okay.  A little nervous, but okay."

"I can understand that.  The first day at a new school, even if you're just
visiting, can be a bit nerve-wracking."  He had deliberately sidestepped my
irritability.  I knew it, and he did too.  "All you can do is relax and
watch.  It's going to be strange, but the best advice I can give you is to
get used to it.  All of it.  And try to believe that people actually do
care about you and what you think."

Okay, so he hadn't completely sidestepped the issue, but somehow I felt
comforted a bit.

"I have everything. Let's go."  Pete had returned.

"Alright.  Sharon, I'm taking Pete and Brian to school, give them some time
to check out the campus."

"Okay, have a good day, boys.  See you in a few hours, Kev?"

"Yup.  Shouldn't take too long."

"Love you."

"Love you too, babe."  He led us out the door and to the car.

After we had been dropped off, Pete took me to the school office to sign me
in for the day, and then took me to his locker to drop off his books.  The
school was much larger than what I was used to.  Though it was an old
school, the interior was practically new, having been refurbished a few
years earlier.

Beside the new interior, it was just another school.  The cafeteria served
breakfast, and I could see about fifty other students eating and talking.
Pete led me to a table with a lone occupant deeply engrossed in a textbook.

"Cramming again, Jared?"

He raised his head. "Oh, hey Pete.  No, I was...."  His eyes had shifted to
mine, and he sat there as if awestruck.  How strange.  He was cute, though.
Very cute.

"Uh, Jared?  This is Brian.  Brian, Jared."

He recovered quickly enough.  Standing, Jared offered his hand, which I
took.  "Pete's Brian?"

"Yeah.  Hello, Jared."

"Hi Brian.  It's good to meet you.  Finally I see the face of the person
who stole Pete's heart."  I looked around nervously, trying to see if
anyone noticed the exchange.  No one was even looking in our direction.
"Don't worry, Brian.  I always look before I talk about anything
important."

"I guess this is the first time I've had to watch myself in school.  I'm
really nervous."

"Well, try not to be.  Just keep it cool and make sure no one is around if
you have to talk."  Jared gave me another appraising look.  "Pete, I
understand now why you wouldn't go out with me.  He has got to be one of
the best looking guys I have ever seen.  You deserve him."

I blushed so badly my face had to have been purple.  "Thanks, Jared."  My
voice squeaked.  I hated it when my voice squeaked.  He and Pete just
grinned at my embarrassment.

"Hey, it happens to everyone.  Seriously, though.  Is he moving up here to
be with you?"

"We don't know yet.  His parents are looking for a job in the local area.
If they can't find one, Brian has to go home."

"That sucks."

"Yeah," I agreed.  "Big time.  I hope they can find a job.  I don't want to
leave.  But, I may not have a choice."

"Well, either way, I hope I have a new friend."  He offered his hand again,
and again I shook.  Something about Jared inspired trust.  And anyway,
since Jared was a friend of Pete and Jason's, I felt I could be his friend,
too.

"I hate to cut this short, but I have to finish a question from last nights
homework.  Nice meeting you, Brian.  See you later, Pete."

"Later."

"Nice to meet you to, Jared."

Withdrawing from the cafeteria, we wandered down the halls toward the gym,
and then back out to the science wing.  Pete introduced me to several
people as we roamed the halls, and pointed out several more people I would
try to avoid as much as possible.

The first warning bell sounded.  I was quickly led back to Pete's locker
where he grabbed his books for his first two classes, and then led to a
classroom in a wing we hadn't visited.  We entered the room as the second
warning bell sounded.

I could tell this was an English class. There were several enlarged book
covers on the walls, most of them classics I had read at one point The
instructor was a bookish man with a bald pate and round wire rim
glasses. His dress and manner reminded me of a picture I saw of Albert
Einstein in a science text.

I was introduced to the teacher, and he directed me to take a seat in the
back.  Pete sat near the front and on the opposite side of the room.  We
talked quietly until a minute or so before the final bell, then class got
started.  It wasn't as boring as I thought it would be.  In spite of his
appearance, the instructor came alive with the bell.  Between his joking
around and his acting out various parts of the book they were reading, he
held my attention the entire time.  When the bell signaled the end of
class, he gave the homework assignment, and then lapsed into his ho-hum
routine.

The next class was Algebra II, right across the hall.  Do you remember the
teacher in "Ferris Beuler's Day Off" ?  I think he was played by Ben Stein.
Anyway, that was a perfect representation of this guy.  Dull, monotone, no
energy.  I tried to pay attention to the math, but I dozed a few times.

I guess he saw me, because he called me to the board to work a problem.
Everyone was surprised he would call on a visitor, but I went up anyway.
He gave me an advanced problem using the lesson he just taught. The
equation wasn't terribly difficult for me to solve, so I wrote it out.
Turning around for the instructors approval, I noticed that half of the
class was confused.  Pete was smiling smugly.

"Mr... um...  uh..."  He didn't remember my name, and he went to look in
the logbook to find it.  I spared him the embarrassment.

"My name is Brian Kellam, sir."

"I don't have a Brian Kellam in this class."

"Yes sir.  I am visiting for the day."

"Oh.  Yes, yes, I remember now.  Well then, it seems you had no trouble
solving this equation.  Would you please explain how you did so?"

I turned my back to him so he couldn't see the amusement on my face.  When
I had control again, I began the explanation, trying very hard not to catch
anyone's eye.  I was sure I would crack up if I did.  I made it through
without grinning, which I felt was a major accomplishment.

"Quite adequate, Mr. Kellam.  You may take your seat."

The rest of the class was spent working on the problems written on the
board.  There were eight equations to be solved.  I finished six of them
before the bell rang.  Some people hadn't yet finished the first one.

Pete led me back to his locker, exchanging his math and English books for a
book on programming in HTML.  The class went quickly enough, and I learned
a few things, too.  The last half of the class was spent on the computers
completing the assignment.  The instructor spoke to me for a few minutes
during that part of the class.  He asked the standard questions: name, rank
and serial number.  I told him the classes I was taking, and that I didn't
know if I was moving here or not.  His attention was drawn away by a
question, so the conversation stopped there.  I like this guy more than
not, however.

Physical Education.  My favorite subject.  Pete had thought ahead and had
some clothes for me to change into, after okaying it with the coach.  It
just so happened that they were in a wrestling unit at that time.  I
couldn't help but grin as I saw the mats on the floor.  I started
stretching immediately, looking forward to scrapping a bit.

"Hey Brian," the coach said, "Have you ever wrestled on a team?"

"A few times."

"Would you mind working with me and my teacher's assistant for a
demonstration?"

I looked over at the TA.  He was absolutely ugly.  Well, he didn't look
that good anyway.  He looked about my weight.  I confirmed it with the
instructor, and agreed to help, still grinning.

Shaking hands with the TA, I said hello.  His response was a grunt.  I
found out he was a senior, and thought I was beneath his interest. His only
response was a sneer, and the comment, "I'll try not to hurt you too bad."
My grin broadened, and he gave me an annoyed look.

"You wrestle on the team?"

"Yes."

He wasn't very friendly, now, was he?. Well, we'd see soon enough.  The
coach gave me headgear which I put on.  The senior, who's name, oddly
enough, was Brent, tossed his headgear to the side.

"You might want to put those on, Brent.  I've wrestled too, and I know what
can happen if you don't wear the gear."

"I don't need it.  You'll never have a chance to get to me."

I shrugged. "Your ears."

"You two ready?"  I nodded.

"Yeah, this shouldn't take long."  Now I was starting to get angry.  I
glanced at Pete.  He could tell, and motioned me to go for it.

"Get to your places."  We squared off on the mat.  We were both
expressionless, waiting for the coach to give the signal.  He blew the
whistle.

Rather than shooting right away as I anticipated, he backed off a few
steps.  I followed him, and began sparring, putting my hand on his head.
He knocked my hand away.  We repeated the sequence several times before he
finally went for my legs.  I slid around him, leaving him nothing but thin
air to grab.

"Is that all your going to do, runt?  Run away?"

"Funny, you retreated first, remember?"

He didn't respond, but set up to shoot again.  When he did shoot, he did a
poor job, leaving himself vulnerable.  I dropped down, hooked his crotch
and the back of his neck, and flipped him hard onto his back.  As he had
lost his wind by the unexpected move, he was an easy pin at that point.

The whole room was echoing with the cheers of the class, finally seeing
Brent get a taste of his own medicine.

The coach came over, checked him out, and sent him to the locker room.  He
approached me, saying, "I thought you said you had wrestled a few times."

"I have. This will be my third season."

"And just how have you done?"

"3A State Finals.  Lost on points."  He stared at me, and then started
chuckling.

"I told him he was going to meet his match.  You should watch your back for
the rest of the day, though.  He won't take this defeat well, and he has
friends."

"I'm not afraid of him or his friends.  I have some of my own.  But thanks
for the warning."

"No problem.  Now, do you think you can practice with someone else and not
hurt them?"

I laughed. "Sure. Any other wrestlers in the class?"

He paired me up with another guy, and we practiced some techniques. My
partner's name was Leo.  I was a weight class under him, but my experience
made up for the weight disadvantage.  I taught him some things, and he
taught me. It was great to be on the mat again.  We worked hard and came
away grinning.

The bell sounded, signaling fifteen minutes to the warning bell. We headed
to the showers.  Brent was handing out the towels, and glared daggers at me
as he gave me mine.  I just grinned back and went along my way.

The bell rang just as I was tying my shoes.  Pete sat next to me.  "You
really pissed him off, Brian."

"How sad for him. He deserved it."

"Yeah, he did, but you haven't even been here a full day and you already
have enemies.  You sure work quickly."

"Isn't that what you pay me for?"

"Um, no.  I would prefer you took your time."  He grinned, making sure I
caught his meaning.

"I think I can do that.  But I can't handle it when I'm not taken
seriously, and that prick didn't.  So I slammed him.  Legally, I might
add."

"And made him look bad in front of a whole class.  He won't forget it,
Brian."

"I hope not.  He needs to be knocked down a few notches."

"I guess I'm not going to make any progress, am I?"  I shook my head,
smiling slightly.  "Alright then.  Let's go eat. And did you have to soak
those gym clothes I lent you?  They'll stink up my locker."

"Sorry, Pete.  Next time I'll try not to sweat as much."  He patted me on
the back.

"That's okay, Bri."

We got our lunch and sat with Jason and Jared.  Both nodded their greeting
as their mouths were full.

When he could speak again, Jason asked how things were going. Pete answered
before I had a chance.

"Going great! The day isn't half over and he's already on Brent's hit list.
He body slammed him in class today."

"You what?"

"I hooked him and took him over, then I pinned him.  He hit the mat fairly
hard, but I didn't hurt him."

Jason and Jared shook their heads.  Pete looked at them and held his hands
out, silently asking them what he could do with me.

"Well, just be careful.  His friends are a rough crowd, and I don't want to
have to kick all of their asses today. I'd like to spread it out if I can."

"I'll try to watch it."

As we ate, we chatted about school, how they liked it, what they didn't
like, which were the good teachers, what classes to take.  I saw Brent and
his pals across the cafeteria gathering at a table.  There were five of
them.  Shortly after they sat down, they all looked in my direction.  I
pretended not to notice.  I could see them laughing, though, and Brent was
not happy.

I didn't mention it to Pete or Jason though, thinking I would only be here
until the end of the day.  If I entered the school later, I would deal with
Brent then.

Lunch ended.  Jason, Jared, and Pete introduced me to a number of people,
some of which were "family".  Jason offhandedly mentioned my run-in with
Brent, and everyone got a good laugh, but I noticed as the rest of the day
passed, we were never out of sight with one of them.

After lunch, we went to World History.  I liked history for the most part,
but I really had no desire to learn about the Sumerians.  I preferred
modern history from the Napoleonic wars through modern day.  I spent forty
minutes listening to the teacher drone on and on.  Finally the bell rang,
and we left for the last class of the day.

On the way to Pete's locker, we were accosted by some of Brent's little
buddies.  Fortunately, one of Jason's friends saw us and came to our
rescue, telling us the principal wanted to see me.  As we made our escape,
he told me to be careful and stay out of their way.  Of course I agreed,
having no choice.  We were escorted to Pete's locker and then to the
science wing for biology.  Jason had caught up with us along the way
somehow, and told us he'd meet us in the classroom after the bell rang and
escort us to Pete's locker.  Seeing no need, I acquiesced nonetheless.

Biology was one of my favorite academic subjects.  I loved cellular
biology.  They happened to be studying cell anatomy that day, so I was
hooked.  I had a couple of questions, but I didn't want to take up class
time for them.  Instead, I waited for the bell to ring and asked the
instructor then.  He was pleasantly surprised, I think, that I had paid
attention.  We were still talking when Jason walked in to retrieve us.  I
thanked the instructor and followed Pete out of the classroom, into the
company of some of Jason's closest friends.  I was quickly introduced
around to those I hadn't met.  All told, we had about 10 people.

As a group, we moved toward the front of the school where Jason, Pete,
Jared, Ray, and I would be picked up.  Halfway through the hallway, we ran
into Brent and his friends blocking the hall.  Their group had twelve.
Jason walked right up to Brent, standing just short of nose-to-nose.

"You're in the way.  Please step aside and let us pass."

"Sorry.  I have something to say to the new kid."

"Say it."

"It's private."

"Not really.  The whole school knows about it.  And the whole school will
know about it if you touch him.  If you get suspended, you're off the team.
Now are you going to get out of our way, or do you need to get beaten down
a second time today?"

Brent's eyes narrowed, but didn't move otherwise, trying to stare Jason
down.  This was getting bothersome.  Just as I was about to suggest that
Brent and I go to the gym to settle this, an adult voice cut through the
tension.

"What's going on here?  Patterson, Hodges, speak up."

"We just want to go through the hallway to the parking lot. Brent is
blocking our way and refuses to move."

"Now why would you do that, Brent?"

"I have something to say to the new kid, in private, but Patterson is
preventing it."  "Of course I am, you idiot.  He slammed you in PE today,
and you can't handle the fact that someone younger than you trashed you at
your own game."

"Shut up!  Shut up or I'll take you down!"

"What?  Can't handle the truth?"

"That's enough!  Hodges, to the office.  Patterson, get him out of here.
The rest of you, break it up before I change my mind and suspend the lot of
you."

As the crowd broke up, we pushed our way through.  All ten of us.  We made
it to the parking lot where the van waited for us.  Jason unlocked it, and
we piled in.  Ray and Jared took the back seat, Pete took the front
passenger, and I sat in the middle.  The drive home was uneventful.  When
we got to Pete's house, the adults were waiting for us.

"Brian, Pete, can we speak to you, privately?"  Dad was nervous.  I could
tell by the way he asked.

We glanced to each other.  I suddenly felt the moment of truth was at hand.

I took his hand as we climbed the stairs toward the office.  I felt
light-headed, and my heart was racing.  I felt sweat beading on my
forehead.  Pete turned his head to look at me.  I am sure he knew what I
was feeling.  If the sweat wasn't keying him off, then the trembling of my
hand surely did.

He stopped at the top of the stairs and led me to his bedroom instead of
the office.

"Things will be fine, Bri, no matter what happens.  We'll survive and grow
stronger."  He took me into his arms and hugged me tightly as my tears
started to fall.  "Nothing that happens in there can change the way we feel
about each other.  I'll always have you, and you'll always have me.  We'll
be together, if not in person, then in the heart."

"Boys?  You two coming?"

In a steady voice, I replied, "Be there in a minute, Dad."

"Guess we better go and find out what's happening."

"Yeah.  I'm scared, Pete."

"Me too.  But they can't keep us apart forever.  We'll be adults,
eventually."

"That's so far from now."

"Not really.  Just a couple of years."

"That's what I mean."

"Don't worry, Bri.  Let's wait and see what happens in there first.  This
may be for nothing."

We headed to the office.  Pete was right in a way.  We didn't know what my
parents would say.  But if I had to leave Pete and go home with them, I
wasn't certain I could handle going through that again.  That was what I
was afraid of.

Mom and Dad were behind the desk when we entered, conversing quietly.  Pete
shut the door behind, and we sat, waiting for them to open the discussion.

Mom made the opening gambit.  "How was your day at school, Brian?  Did you
enjoy it?"

"I almost got into a fight."

"What about?"

"I can tell you about it later.  What did you guys want to say?"

They glanced at one another.  Dad began to fidget and Mom sighed.

"There's no easy way to say this," she said.  My heart sank at her words,
and my tears began anew.

"We're sorry, boys.  Brian, we need you to fly home with us tonight..."

My worst fears had come to life.

*     *     *     *     *

Constructive criticism and comments gladly accepted.  Please e-mail me at
dewey2k@yahoo.com. Flames will be ignored, then deleted.

I have a website!  It is a work in progress, but it's there nonetheless!
http://members.tripod.com/dewey.ftlop/

I'd like to invite you to join a list that will notify you of new chapters
being released for "Pete".  To subscribe, you can write to:
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