Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 05:50:42 +0000
From: HS Writer <showsinger@hotmail.com>
Subject: Fortune Favors the Brave

Hey everyone.  This is my try at writing so bear with me.  Standard
disclaimers apply.  As for this goes, there is no sex in this story, at
least in this installment.  PLEASE send any comments, constructive
criticism, and advice to me at showsinger@hotmail.com

-Pete

----------

	It started to rain just as I took one last drag of my cigarette.
Just like many other nights before I was lost in my thoughts wondering why
I was sitting outside at two in the morning on a school night.  In just six
hours Mr. Sanders would begin another ever so fascinating lecture on some
completely riveting faucet of physics.  I had no idea how I was going to
survive the last four weeks of my senior year.  Some call it seniorities or
some shit like that, I call it realizing just how pointless high school is.
I flicked the cigarette into the grass and I walked back inside to go to
sleep.
	When I wake up it's already 7:30.  I quickly jump out of bed and
run through the shower.  While brushing my teeth, I look at myself in the
mirror in near despair.  The single thought that plagues my mind more than
any other returns--who is an unattractive, overweight, homosexual ever find
someone to send a significant portion of my life with.  As fast as the
thought entered my mind, it left and I dashed to get dressed and drive
myself to school.

	Stopping to talk to no one, I run across the school to where my
physics class is.  I make it in just as the bell rings and take my seat.
As Sanders rambles on about potential energy or something just as useless I
take a minute to go through my schedule for the day.  Nothing too exciting
today, just work from six until ten.  The bell rings and I go on my way.
The rest of the day goes by uneventful, but after school I was talking to
my friend Lindsay about what we were doing that weekend.  Lindsay's my
closest friend and is the only person that knows I'm gay. (At least she's
the only person I've told, I'm pretty sure everyone knows as Lindsay has a
pretty big mouth.)  As usual I had nothing planned.

	"Well, there's a party downtown you could go to Saturday night, I
might stop by," bantered Lindz.

	"God, I dunno," I replied, "I kinda just wanna chill at home."
Something I was known to do quite often, and quite alone.

	"Rick, you really need to get out more.  We're really concerned
about you."

	But at that point I could care less about the conversation.  There,
walking down the hall was the boy I had been crushing over for at least a
year.  His name's Cole and I love nearly everything about him.  He's about
5'9" and 150 pounds.  He has blond hair and bluish gray eyes.  Despite
being a year younger than me, I had taken a strong liking to him.  Being a
skater just added to my attraction.  (Not being a skater myself, I still
had an intense lust after them.)  I had met him the previous year; we were
both in show choir.  He was in the group for first year singers and I was
in the varsity group.  We were at a mall eating in the food court before
heading off to a competition.  He and I ate together and he was really
cool.  This wasn't the first time I talked though; I had helped him write a
paper for his English class earlier since I was the TA for his class.  I
had always had my suspicions that he might be gay, but my suspicions are
usually wrong.  This was proven to me again at that meal when he told me
about his girlfriend.  For some reason, I was devastated, but I told myself
that I would move on.
	A year later, I have yet to get over Cole.  I see him too much, I
talk to him too much, and I think about him too much for it to be possible
for me to stop thinking him as an object of attraction.  Since that meal
our friendship developed a little.  While we weren't best friends or
anything, we'd talk from time to time and we both worked at the same
grocery store.  I was a cashier and he worked in the dairy department.  I
say to him as he walks by and he gives me his trademark nod.  Lindsay sees
what going on and punches me in the arm.

	"You're never going to give up, are you?"

I just laugh and tell her that I'll call her tomorrow afternoon.  I leave
school as quickly as I arrived and take a short nap before heading into
work.  My parents are off at some sort of weekend golf outing so I'll have
the house to myself, and just myself, for the night after work.  I grab a
sandwich before heading off to work my hopelessly boring four hour shift.
Two hours into my shift I head to the break room for a few minutes.  Much
to my surprise, Cole was in there eating his dinner.  He usually works on
Sundays so I was really shocked to see him.  I ask him what's up and why's
working on Friday and he tells me someone in the dairy department had just
got fired for coming to work drunk and they needed someone to fill in for
the night.  I asked him if he had any plans for after work and he told me
that he had nothing planned.  At that moment, I lost all inhibitions I've
ever had (and I had a lot to lose) and summoned up a spark of bravery and
asked him if he wanted to do something after work since we both got off at
ten.

"Well, what do you have in mind," he asked.

"I dunno, just hanging around.  My parents are out for the night so maybe
we could come back to my place for awhile."

"That sounds cool.  My car's not working and my parents dropped me off.
I'll call my mom and tell her not to pick me up.  That cool with you?"

"Yeah, sounds great.  Just meet at my car when you get done tonight.  You
know what I drive right?"

"Yup.  Hey, I know this may be a lot to ask, but could you buy me a pack of
Camels?"

"Sure, it's no problem.  See you at ten."

	I went back to my register in one of the best moods I had ever been
in at work.  For the first time since I met him, I was going to be hanging
out with Cole.  God, I don't know what got in me randomly asking him to do
something like that.  The rest of my shift dragged on for what seemed like
a short eternity.  I watched Cole walk out of the store around 9:50 when I
was closing my register for the night.  `He must have finished early
tonight,' I thought to myself.  I quickly finished counting my drawer and
closed the register.  I punched out and ran back to the cigarette register
to buy both of us cigs since I was out as well.  I raced outside until he
was in view.  I didn't want to seem anxious so I slowed my mad run to a
casual saunter.  I tossed him the pack of cigarettes and he uttered a
hardly audible thanks.  We sat on the hood of my car, smoking, and making
idle chat.  I looked down at my watch and it was nearly 11:30.  "Fuck," I
said and I told him what time it was.  I asked if I needed to get him home
and he told me his parents told him he could stay over at my house.

"Is that okay with you, that I stay over tonight?"

"Sure," I said, "Let's get going."

"I was thinking maybe we could stay here for awhile," he said almost
mournfully.

	The store had closed about thirty minutes ago and it was a fucking
amazing night so I agreed.  We kept up our seemingly pointless chatter for
another half-hour or so (even though I loved every minute of it.)  Around
midnight he looked at me for probably the first time the entire night.

"Rick, please don't take this the wrong way.  There are rumors going around
school that you're gay."

"God Cole, I'm not going to lie to you.  I'm gay.  Fuck, you're only the
second person I've ever told.  I thought it would be easier, but it
wasn't."

"Dude, it's okay.  It really is."

"What made you ask me anyways?"

He didn't answer me.  He sat there in silence for nearly two minutes.  He
lit up another cigarette; I couldn't take it anymore.  I was uncomfortable
and I wanted to go home.  I got up to get in my car and he jumped.

"Rick, wait."

"What!" I snapped back at him, but instead of saying anything to me, he
looked me in the eyes, and kissed me.