Date: Thu, 10 Jun 2004 04:08:18 +0000
From: ignacio cicuttini <icicuttini@hotmail.com>
Subject: friendship

Disclaimer: this story contains adult related material and explicit
male-male sex, if you're not allowed or feel offended just leave, otherwise
enjoy it.
This is a fictional story; all characters are made up although some thoughts
and facts were true. Last, please forgive my awful English, I'm Argentinian.
If you like it, please let me know to icicuttini@hotmail.com, promise you
I'll answer all and every single mail.


Friendship


This is not a sex story but a love story, and it's told right the way that
things happened.
Let me introduce myself. I'm Justin, right now I'm in my mid twenties but
this story take place (or time) a couple years ago. In fact it's been, wow!
8 years now! In fact not even 8 years but almost my whole life. And, by the
way things happened I'm quite sure it's gonna last forever.

Anyway, I was sort of 17 y/o when everything took place. I know Liam since
I'm a kid. Our moms were friends. They met each other in my old place
downtown. We were neighbors, but when mom and dad got divorced we moved
about 30 minutes away from there to my actual house, not a big one but
considering I'm 26 now and I live more at Liam's than at home I guess it's
ok.

As I was telling, I was 17 then, but I looked quite the same as now, just a
bit less hairy and old, I guess it's part of growing up. Crap! Even though
I've never been so hairy, I'm kinda baby faced what I find a blessing.  I'm
about 160 pounds and quite tall but most averaged. My eyes are honey brown
and I'm not so built up but marked. I find myself pretty attractive but 0%
confident so it was a real problem to me to find a couple those days. May be
confidence is something I started to loose when I realized I was gay, at one
level I thought everyone would reject me for being that, but I learned to
live with that, not that I love it, in fact, I hate myself from time to
time. Sometimes, I just wanted to be someone else but somehow I got through.
Ok. Back again, I was telling you I was 17 then, and after we moved out, 5
years before that, I almost lost touch with Liam, I don't really know; high
school, new friends, new neighborhood, a whole new life.

As my mom was really cool about it, I got out from the closet at 15. It
really cost me a lot but some time now I managed the whole situation. I'm
quite open now to everybody but I still have that little voice inside that
make me nervous, that makes me wonder how the hell is with everybody, if
they're really ok with me or they are making such a good play. I guess I'm
kinda paranoid but I can't deal with it, may be with the years I'll become
more trustful with people (and confident with myself). I really wish that.
Anyways I consider myself a really lucky guy, you'll see, most of the guys
my age and gay have a lot, and I mean A LOT of trouble getting out of the
closet and have so many problems they even turn to be more accepted in their
environment than in their own homes. Or worst, they are really not very well
accepted in any place at all.
Last year, on our last high school year, Liam moved just a few blocks away
from home 'cos it's been some trouble in his, I don't know, some legally
related problem I was told.
Anyway, meeting him again was awesome; we became buds all over again right
away. By this time he came out of the closet too, in one of our many long
talks we had he said me that without the pressure of his family and old
school it became easier for him. You should have seen him telling that.

We were chatting about some guy on TV, guess Drew Fuller (you can't blame me
for that, he's a cutie, although a lousy actor. That's for sure.), of course
he knew about me, in fact there were no secrets between us.

"I'm telling you, he's gorgeous." I said "a real piece of meat, hot I tell
you!"

"I don't know, I mean, I don't know what you see in him. He socks, it's the
worst actor ever!" He said that obviously hiding something from me, k.
really nothing at all as he was so transparent in his eyes that they said
everything for him. I already knew for some time then but I wanted him to
tell me whenever he felt so.
Then he turned down his head and shyly the words came out of his mouth,
almost a whisper.

"In fact, Jus, I have something to tell you, jeez, I'm so embarrassed" he
said almost eating his own words. Like he was going to regret everything was
going about to be said there.

"Hey you, calm down, you can tell me everything. To be honest, I think I
kinda know what you're going to tell so be free man." I put my arm around
his shoulder and gently smiled at him. I saw his face and he was almost on
tears. God, that puppy face made him irresistible.
Ok, may be it's time to tell something about him. As we know each other
forever I can tell you every little change in his shape and personality,
everything, he's sortta blondie but with darker locks, he has those
beautiful locks on his face that almost cover his green eyes and that
childish expression.

He's about my height, a bit skinner than me but with that milky soft skin of
him. If I had to tell you at one point he seem an averaged guy but two
minutes later you just can't take your eyes away from him. I think his
manner helps a lot; he's the most sweetie guy on earth. He has that
innocence and sometimes naif toughs that make him just lovely. Sometimes I
just don't know how the hell everyone didn't notice about his sexuality 'cos
no straight guy is as gentle and childish as he is. He's a cutie.

So, there we were hugging and sharing a really beautiful moment. Then he
raised his head, looked at me and in a deep breath he said it.

"Look Jus, for some time now I've felt something really changed in me, I
feel a lot different, I don't know, may be the new place, the new school or
something but the thing is I feel different" then he actually started to
cry.

I looked deeply in his eyes and said: "hey biggie, that's ok, there's
nothing to be ashamed of, I know, you're gay, as me, I've always known, I
just wanted you to be comfortable with the whole thing. I'm here for you,
I've not too much experience but if you want a good piece of advice, act as
if everyone knew it from day one, I mean, don't publish it in some newspaper
or something, but take it easy."

"Thanks man, I knew you would understand. I love you." A shy grin drew in
his face. His eyes sparkled and something inside of me said everything would
change from that day on.

"I love you too." I know he was saying it as a friend, actually I did it
too, but deep inside of me I realized he was so much than a friend to me.
That was gonna cause me a lot of trouble, I guarantee that. But things went
on and we raised our friendship for one entire year.

Later that year, on holidays he said he wanted to visit his dad who lived in
Canada so he would be far away for the whole season.
The day he left was awful. We were at his place and spent the whole day
together, as usually, we made his bags and then I took him in my car to the
airport. Trip was very silent. I guess emptiness was floating in the
ambience. It was a really sad and quiet moment.
At the airport we had to wait for half an hour for his flight to be ready.
Then the break up time was upon us.

"I'm really gonna miss you fag boy" I said punching him joyfully in his
belly, although in the other hand my heart was breaking in two. My deepest
love (although he didn't know a thing, or at least he acted so) was leaving
and getting apart from me for three long months. Since he came here again
with me that was the longest period of time we would be apart.

"I'm gonna miss you too lady" he said smiling to me. I can tell, he was true
in his smile, I mean, he was very excited about that trip and that was
making things very easy for him, but then his eyes said that he was really
gonna miss me too.

"So, this is it? `Cos I wanna know if I have to give you a see-ya-later hug
and kiss or an I'm-really-gonna-miss-you-and-I-love-you one." I said tearing
a little.

"I'd rather choose the last one, it's kinda warmer, what do you think?" he
said dropping his bags to the floor.
So I grabbed him by the hips and hugged him as we would never see each other
again and kiss him hard in his cheek. I really wanted that moment never
ended but then the lady at the airport called last time for his flight.
We mailed some during those months, chatted some by the net and he told me
when he was supposed to come back.

He told me about some guys at there and how he was dumped once. In fact he
was really excited about this one guy but the mail was kinda strange. It
said he was now fooling around to get him out of his head and stuff and that
it deserved a good long talk. I answered him and took his word; we really
deserved a good chat after he came back.
Without him I tried to go on, in fact I would lie if I said that during the
holidays I hadn't any fun, in fact there were two boys that ruled, but
certainly I felt that something was missing. That feeling I had when Liam
was around me.

The day he came back I went to the airport as I knew what time was his
flight but he wasn't waiting for me so it was kind of a surprise.
When I saw him he was resting on a bench waiting for a cab to go home. So I
went over him from behind and rounded him with my arm. I showed him nothing
but my hand and a small ring I "borrowed" from his house some time before.

"Recognize it?" I said softly. He turned back in a smile that was drown from
ear to ear and actually got up from his sit.

"Hey missy! I missed you like shit queer guy!"

"I missed you too Liam, you can't even imagine how much. C'mon let's go home
and tell me please how the fuck was your dad's face when he knew you were
gay, please!" the truth is he left an almost perfect "straight" boy in every
way and a year later he got a complete mess of a "queer" man. (a hundred
times better to my taste, but nothing compared from his perspective of how
someone has to be) I smiled at him and hugged him so hard and long that he
had to make a big movement to get rid of me. Jejeje.

We went home, he took a long shower while I was undoing his bags and when he
got out we went to his bed to see some TV. As he had a king size bed we
shared it. We talked a bit and watch some will and grace but soon he was
asleep, he was really tired from the trip. I got fast asleep too but I
stayed there just looking at him while sleeping. I could spend my whole life
like that. Oh god, he does look awesome, so innocent, so peaceful, so
pretty. He was an angel.
You must think of me I'm such a pathetic one, all that time with him, so
close and never said anything to him, k, I am, a bit... alright, a lot but I
was fucking scared for him to say no. And then all we had together would be
ruined. I mean, before the guy who blew my head he was my friend, and I
never in my fucking life would change that for anything, I mean it. I'm not
one of those guys who approaches some guy and becomes his friend just
because he likes him, this thing is completely different, it's the opposite,
before an amazing guy he's my friend.

I couldn't sleep too much, anyway I wasn't that tired, he needed it more for
sure. Then about 6 I woke him up tenderly kissing him in his cheek. "C'mon
sleepy boy, time to wake up." I said tenderly, almost whispering.
He smiled unable to open his eyes but managed to answer my call. "I'm up,
just give me a min"
As you must know, half an hour later I had to wake him up again. That's
clear. He woke up, and I made some tea, watched some more TV and chatted
about this and that. As it was the first night I stayed there to help him
with the house and stuff. We went to sleep about 2 in the morning that
night. Next day, about 11 we wake up, again I prepared the breakfast, tea
and some cookies, nothing so special and we fooled around the whole
afternoon. In the early evening things changed. I can't remember exactly how
the subject popped up but we got involved in a real deep conversation about
our feelings and I couldn't help it but tell him how did I feel about him.
We were chatting `bout the guy who dumped him last month and how he felt
about it, then I couldn't help it.

"You see, Liam, this guy is a jerk, dumping you is one of the most stupid
things I've heard in my whole life. You are extraordinary; I couldn't do it
for a thing in the world. You're priceless. Forget about him, you're so much
more a man than him."
He gave me a beautiful look I've never seen before in his face and I knew it
was the moment to come with that.

"Look Liam, I really have to clean my chest. I haven't been completely true
to you." I said and for a moment I got silent hearing my own words echoing
in my head. I couldn't believe I was about to say it. I mean, it was such a
huge thing. I was scared to death, but for some reason I felt there was no
coming back. But, what if he said no, it would change our relationship
forever, and I didn't know if I was able to be rejected, not that I cared
the fact of being rejected but the fact of being rejected by him. How could
I go on with my life, how to deal with it, how to come back to the start all
over again. There are some wounds that never heal at all, never close for
good and I wasn't sure I could be able to get through that pain. But, I knew
that was it, there was no coming back, it was the right time, and whatever
the ending was I was going to make of it such an end (too much lord of the
rings, ha!) so I raised my head, took all my courage and made my move. God
help me!

"See, you've always been my best friend and the person I care and love the
most, but for some time now you've been more than a friend to me." Ay marry!
I started to shake like a piece of paper, I felt my knees weaken and I heard
myself bubbling what the hell was I doing! Meanwhile words were spitting out
of my mouth like out of control and I couldn't believe it.

"since you came back last year things changed a lot to me, I tried to keep
things the way there were for I wasn't sure what was going to be you
reaction but I can't hold it any longer. I have feelings for you that are
stronger than everything I expected in my whole life but I'm scared to death
`cos it's a huge deal, something that will change us for good and I don't
wanna lose you. I mean, before that gorgeous guy you're still my friend, the
person I love the most and I don't wanna lose it. I mean it boy, whatever
you say please remember it."

I couldn't believe myself, nor didn't he. He was completely speechless, in
fact completely out of breath but deep in his eyes I know he was aware of
it.
A moment that seemed to last forever, so silent, so expecting, so full of
doubts. Then silence was broken. He was answering my requesting and "then"
there was no coming back.

"Gosh, may be I must tell you the whole truth, though"

My heart stopped for a sec. I could hear those words echoing my head and I
knew that was all. I panicked, my face turned white and all I could do was
to hear him saying what would tear me apart. So he proceeded.

"I know you've been in love with me for a long time now, you cannot hide a
thing from me. Your eyes are so transparent, so true, that they said
everything from day one.
When I started to suspect that I tried to find the way to make you tell me
`cos I didn't want any secrets between us but I hadn't the courage, besides
if I did so, I didn't know how to react to that sort of proposal, then time
past on, and seeing you wouldn't make a move I thought may be I was wrong
and it would be a bad idea to bring it back so I threw it away. But then, I
started to doubt about myself too. I needed a moment to figure out what my
feelings were for you and as usual, I didn't succeed. Not until now you
finally are spelling those magic words, and the hell I'm scared to death but
I really want to give it a chance."

I couldn't believe my ears, he was actually saying it, all my darkest
thoughts were clearing and a new feeling, kind of a mixture of love and
instinct took all of me. I couldn't help it but to grab him by his hips and
gently approach slowly to his frozen body. His eyes were hell out scared and
his mouth mid open speechless, his heart was racing, so was mine and his
hands were shaking. He was there like under a magic spell. Our bodies made
contact and I felt his heart beating hard, his breath almost in a moan and
his eyes starting to close. Then, for the first time our lips met each
other. It was unbelievable; it felt so comforting, so warm, so natural, so
beautiful. A tender kiss that lasted forever and my whole body and mind
unable to focus in anything else.
I think I'll never forget it; it was like warm, wet, very tender and
delicate at first and then firm and more passionate but never loosing that
friendship, that feeling inside that told that it was us, it was what it was
meant to be.

"I never thought what I am about to say, but I love you, I love you more
than I wanted, and it's terrifying, I never thought I would realize it this
way but I did, I just felt it when our lips made contact." He said still a
bit confused, but at the time so sure that it was right.
We were lying on the bed, half sit hugging each other, kind of me on top of
him and our faces almost touching, I only could see his eyes and I smell his
breath, our words were like whispers. Then I said

"gosh, I love you too, you can't imagine how many million times I pictured
it in my head and heart, how many times I thought what I would say it when
the moment came, how would be your reactions, your face, your angel face,
and it's true. Tell me, is it a dream?"

"Then it is a good dream" he answered and kissed me softly.

My lips felt funny as I couldn't help but laugh at it, so I broke it and
said "shut up Arwen." So I smiled as I tickled him in his belly. He twisted
a bit and laughing looked at me and kissed me again. This time I allowed him
to enter my mouth. We did it slowly and tenderly while hushing each other
around our ears and running our fingers through the hair.

I can't believe it, you taste a hundred times better I had imagined before.
I love you so much, you are my very thoughts all the time, I see your face
everywhere, you are my first thought in the morning and my last pray in the
night. God..." then I kissed him hard. By this time I was exhibiting a very
noticeable bulge in my crotch, and so did he, I can tell. My hands then run
lower and he exhaled a slow and low moan. I never felt so confident, so
good, so right. Then he took power and turned me around lying on my back
facing him. He run his fingers through my hair and slowed down to my chest
and massaged my nipples. I was in heaven. My heart was going wild and I
couldn't stop shaking. Then his hands lowered to my belly bottom and met my
belt. He undid it and took it away I couldn't help but squeeze and allow him
to do it, then he unzip my fly and that was it, I involuntary stopped him,
looked deeply in his eyes and in a smile I said "this is gonna cause you a
lot of trouble mister, you know?" he smiled back and answered "I'll take my
chances, watch me" and lowered my pants off to my ankles. I did he same
putting a big French kiss in his mouth. Slowly we got rid of them and
started to work on our boxers, what, by this time was quite difficult
considering our hard ons.

Once we were both naked he moved away a few inches just to see me. God I
love him so much, every single jester, every single look and smile. Then he
approached again and spread me apart allowing him to my inside, everything
in a perfect rhythm. At first it hurt like shit but I managed to get
comfortable and seconds later I couldn't get enough from him. Slowly we
gained a faster pace. His eyes half closed in pleasure only saying I love
you, his scent, the heat, his face and muscles against mine. I wanted it to
last forever, never leave him down. I felt in cloud nine. I was entirely
his; I loved him so much with every fiber of my being.

Some time and he started to push up harder and speed the rhythm up he was
abut to cum, and so did I. Our bodies started to tense, our breath became
louder and deeper, whispers became moans and my body tightened; then two
push ups more and he exploded making me to tense even more and taking me to
climax too. He spurted shot after shot and collapsed on top of me, a moment
after he recovered his breath gasping a bit and closing his mouth he smiled
at me. We were exhausted, completely wet, our hearts still racing although
our bodies were in total relax. He looked at me with that shy smile in his
mouth and I said "You're in big trouble, you know?" he laughed still
catching his breath and said very slow and deep "You'll be a pain in my
ass."

"You bet." I said grapping him from behind and pushing to me. We rolled over
and laid. He kissed, chatted a bit, chuckled and cuddled then he fell
asleep. I stayed all night watching him sleep. So sweet, so perfect, so
"he". A few hours later he woke up and in a smile looked at me and said
"What are you doing you freak? Come sleep" and pointed the bed beside him
like to join him.

"I was watching you, you fool. Didn't you know you are a cutie?"

"I don't know, mama tells me that all the time, and I'm really starting to
believe her."

"Hey! Catch that ego that can hit me!" I said punching him in the arm and
then kissing him gently in his forehead.

"I'm serious, come here with me and rest for a while, you'll need it
tomorrow." He said joyfully.

"Oh and why would I need it?"

"Cos I'm gonna make you beg for mercy, little queer!" he said pushing me
into bed.

"Take your word."

"I cross my heart." And with that I finally went to sleep knowing it was
gonna be the best day ever.


K, kids, that's all for now. My very first published story (there is other
but I don't trust it that much). Hope you liked it and you know you can
write me to say how beautiful I am! Jajajaja. Kidding, but do write me. I'll
appreciate it. icicuttini@hotmail.com