Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 11:05:51 -0400 (EDT)
From: _lapis1@excite.com
Subject: From hate to love: Chapter 1

Part 1

Dan and I have been friends since we were born. Our mums studied in the
same high school, they were cheer-ladies of the football teams. They dated
the 2 top scorers of the 1984 champion league, who became our dads. Dan got
all his dad features, blue eyes, blonde, in the age of 15, he already
stands 6', he is well-shaped, well...not as masculine as men in gym room
though. Dan is funny, smart, friendly and gentle; YET he could be very
macho if he thinks its necessary.

Even though I am as old as Dan, I don't look good. I stand 5'2", weight 100
ibs. I have curl brown messy hair and dark brown eyes. You may say it is no
shame to be short but it is not a great honor either; and being short and
slim really kills my self- esteem. Luckily, I do well in school and I am a
very well behaved boy. Probably my academic achievement is the only thing I
can keep my head up high.

Our story started from the 15th summer holiday. Our parents decided to
travel together and went to a place very much against my wish. The first
night of summer holiday, dad announced that we would go to an island calls
"Gutish" for three days.

"You are so sweet honey." Mum said.

"I am glad that you like my plan. What about you Jimmy?" Dad.

I didn't pay attention to what they said, instead I was thinking --
"Gutish! What a queer name."  "Jimmy?!!" Dad asked.

"Huh?! Dad ! What do we do in the island?" I asked.

"Hm.... We can swim, dive, sun bathing if you like."

Swim! Dive! Sun-bath!! I felt like dad's words were hitting my face. Jesus
Christ! How could my parents treat me like that, asking me to expose my
skinny body in the public. Fine! I would be the only guy who wears a
t-shirt to swim and dive and forget about the sub-bath.

"Ok son! You get to stop frowning. You are not the only kid around, Dan
will accompany you." Dad said.

Oh no! Dear God! You can strip me naked, kick me into the sea, toast me
under the sun but you can never let Dan be my companion. In the middle of
my silent prayer, dad knocked my head and said

"It's getting late, everybody starts packing and we will go to Gutish
tomorrow."

That night I packed my luggage like a zombie, I had no mood to choose what
to wear and how many rolls of film I should take. I poured myself a glass
of milk and secretly took mum's sleeping tablet. Before I fell asleep, I
made a wish upon the starts.

"May tomorrow never come." And then I fell asleep.

Part 2

"Bee...beeee" I pressed the alarm clock and woke up feeling a bit
confused. It's just 7:00 am. What the hell did I wake up so early? Then I
remembered its because my family was going to travel. Precisely, my family
was going to travel with Dan's family.

I used to wake up immediately once the clock rang but today would be an
exception. I had to do all the things slow to delay my painful journey and
to show my dad my silent protest.

However, three minutes later, the nature called. I jumped out of bed,
rushed to the toilet, and released myself. Suddenly mum knocked and said.
"Honey, you get 15 minutes to clean up and Mary (Dan's mum) will pick us up
at 8. "Okay!" I answered. Then I flushed the toilet and took a shower. It
felt great having hot water running thorough my body, it helped me easing
my tension, refreshing my memory and if possible doing some self small talk
in a total private area.

You may probably wonder why I hated Dan. The answer is "I don't know." At
first I didn't feel like comfortable with him, then I started hiding from
him and then I gave myself a reason that I hated him so I hid from him. Did
he do anything that made me angry? Well, I couldn't think of any but
one. Dan always stared me and made me feel very uncomfortable.

Suddenly, someone knocked the door. " Go away dad, give me some more time."
I hate to be disturbed when I was taking shower, but dad kept knocking the
door. I put a towel around my waist meanwhile I shouted, "What's your
problem dad, you get a suite and your own bathroom, don't you...Dan?!" I
was surprised that its Dan but not my dad. First I felt awkward, then
strange, then embarrassed. Dan was staring my chest and blushing. Realizing
the fact that I was topless, exposing my skinny body and rib bones made my
face turned crimson. When I was wondering what to do, I heard a baby voice,
"Dan... pee pee!"

I looked down and saw Tommy's sobbing and standing with his legs
crossed. Tommy is Dan's four years old brother. He also has all of the
features of his dad and bro, plus he has an adorable face and cute innocent
smile.

"Jim! I am sorry to disturb you but I get something urgent to do here." Dan
said and ruffled Tommy's hair.

"Oh...Sure!" I let them in, closed the door and went back to my room to
dress. I chose a navy blue t-shirt, jeans plus a pair of Kobe. I combed my
hair a bit, not bother to apply any gel or hair mud. Then I went
downstairs.

Mum was busy checking did she close all the windows, dad was taking the
luggage into the car; Dan was very kind to help. It seemed that everything
go well but we missed one person--- Tommy. I heard someone's sobbing in the
dinning room and its actually Tommy's sobbing with his boo-boo face.

"Sweety! What's wrong?" I hugged him and asked.

"Dan...Dan scolded... me. I was trying to...help, and... he...told me
to... go away" He couldn't hold his sadness and cried quite hard in my
embrace. Honestly, I didn't figure what's wrong but I guessed Tommy was sad
and sorry that he upset his brother.

I stroked his back until he clamed down and wiped his tears.

Tommy was afraid that Dan would not talk to him anymore. Even though it's a
silly thought, I taught him a trick to find out the fact. When everything
was ready, I hold Tommy's hand and went to the car. Dan was very kind to
open the car door for us. Tommy was the first one to get inside but he
didn't. He opened his arm and looked at Dan. In fact, we both looked at
Dan.

"What? Get inside the car kid." I could tell there's anger in his voice.

"Not unless you hug me and took me inside." Tommy emphasized the word "hug"
to show his determination.

Things went as I expected, Dan grinned and hugged Tommy. I could see Tommy
grinned from ear to ear showed on the kid's face.

There's a lot of beautiful scenery on the way to the island, I saw deer,
wild cats running on the plain. Flowers blooming under the clear blue sky.
When I was enjoying the beautiful scenery, I felt a knee accidentally
blushed against mine. I looked back into the car and saw Dan took the seat
opposite and he was staring at me.

Usually I would look away and pretend nothing happened. However, my pride
told me that I have to fight back. Even though Dan is good looking, he has
not right to look me down. I took a deep breath and looked straight into
his eyes. What amazed me is that Dan didn't look away, yet he seems
enjoying our eye contact.

What more amazed me was that I found no disrespect in his gaze this time,
then I realized that he actually has crystal blue eyes and thin long
eyebrows, then I found friendliness in his eyes, then I found tenderness in
his eyes, then I found "twinkle" in his eyes. Oh god! What was I doing? I
was sunk into his gaze. I must blush seriously that I felt heat on my
face. My breath quicken. I must do something to get out of this awkward
situation. Tommy... I could chat with Tommy or at least asked him a
question and broke the gaze.

"Tom... Tommy, aren't you tired? Do you want to take a napppp?"  Geez,
Tommy was asleep with water leaking from his mouth. I swore this was the
most embarrassing moment in my 15 years life. Luckily my dad, my saviour
rescued me. "Boy! Here we are." Dad announced.

In front me of is a two floors villa with balcony. Dan's parents Rich and
Mary were standing at the front door waiting. I greeted Aunt Mary first
then Uncle Rich. He gave me a bear hug and a kiss on my forehead. Mum was
right that Dan got all the good genes from his dad. In front of me was an
older Dan with more muscle and deeper voice.

"Welcome Jim! I wish you will have a good time here." He said.

"Thank you. I am sure I will." I answered.

"Good! Now I will ask Dan to show you around." He offered.

Before I could reject his kind offer, I felt a very big hand with long
fingers grasped my arm. It's Dan's hand. He's leading me into the house.
First was the dinning room, then the mini bar, bathroom, Rich and Mary's
bedroom, my parents' bedroom and then my bedroom. Dan didn't release his
grip and I wasn't sure should I ask him to let go.

"Come in! This is your bedroom." Dan said excitingly.

The bedroom was great, it's a suite with two single beds and a balcony.
Wait a minute. Two single beds...did it mean! Noway, may be Dan wanted to
show me his room at last. You know! We save the best for last and may be
his room was the best. Anyway, I am now facing Dan's chest ( Its impossible
to see a 6' tall guy's face if I dun kept my head up high) and whispered.

"The room is great! What about your bedroom, Dan?" I bet Dan could hardly
hear what I said.

"huh?" He responded.

I repeated my question and received the same "huh" response. Fine! I didn't
talk like that with my family, friends, not even with Tommy but being with
Dan, I couldn't be the normal me. I challenge myself, "Jimmy you were brave
enough to return the gaze, didn't you forget?" Yeah! I could return the
gaze simply meant I could be brave. If I could be brave, I could be the
true me in front of Dan.

This time I said loudly, "Dan, I WAS Askinggg... ... ..." Oh no! He bent
himself and we were talking face to face. I couldn't help blushing. The
closeness made me blush and I kept my voice down again.

Dan looked at me puzzled, then he smiled, leaning forward and said. "Chill
out baby!" He jumped onto the bed at left, tossed and turned. "Come Jim!
The bed is soft." My heart flied away, did he just call me "Baby!" Was he
teasing me as small as a baby or it's a honey-sweet darling-baby or it's
just simply a dude-baby. Deep down inside I sincerely hoped that its not
the first one. The third one was nice and the second one would be great!
Hold on, weren't you crazy. Guys didn't't call each other darling-baby.

"Jim!" , "JIM" Dan kept calling.

"Sorry! I was a bit space out. What did you say?" I replied.

"I said no more space out, come and feel your bed." Obviously his tone was
firm, serious or even angry.

"O...Okay!" I walked to the bed hesitantly. The bed was great. I could feel
a soft mattress lying under my body. Its actually big enough for tow
persons and obviously for two tall persons like Dan. Once again all the
hard feeling came back, its sucks being short, its sucks being skinny, it's
the worst sharing a bedroom with a tall, swim build guy. Suddenly, a big
hand patted my shoulder and its Dan's hand for sure. I did not dare to open
my eyes, instead I whispered "yes" with my eyes SHUT.

"Jim! Wake up. It's lunch time." Dan must be kneeling next to me and
talking somewhere near my right ear. I could feel his breath brushed my
ear, and his mint scent. Wasn't it amazing that he could still remain his
morning toothpaste mint scent.

I nodded slightly, indicated that Dan should leave first. Then I heard a
door opened, then shut. Great! I can finally get rid of Dan.

Now I was lying on my bed, relaxing. All of a sudden, I felt a hot towel
coving my face plus two big hands and strong arms touching my back and
thing. I jumped and yelped, trying to took away the towel real fast. I was
amazed to see Dan keenling next to my bed with two arms under my body,
"What do you think you are doing?" My tone is quite firm and rude. I wasn't
sure was it because I was mad or surprised or embarrassed or....whatever
feeling it was! "Everyone is waiting you in the dinning room, if you don't
wake up, I'd better hold you there." I felt my butt was no longer touching
the mattress. Dan was trying to lift me up. I took a sharp breath, I was
surly shocked and unconsciously put my arms around his neck. No matter what
I did, I couldn't make him let go. He finally made it and I was now in his
arms. "Wow, you are light boy, don't you eat?" he said with a victorious
big grin.

I didn't protest anymore, after all, I was not powerful enough to
protest. Also, his question was humiliating me. I felt angry, helpless,
embarrassed that I lost my ability to speak. Instead I started sobbing,
tears run on my cheeks. Dan was stunned, he tried to swing me a bit, but
hey! I am not a baby. After a minute or so, I calmed down a bit and
whispered, "Dan let me go." Dan gently put me on my bed, I instantly hid my
head into the pillow and cry furiously. Dan stroked my back, trying to
comfort me but the only response I gave was "Go away, leave me alone." Then
I felt his hand left my body and once again the door was shut without
anyone returned.

This is the first time I write and hopefully U will find the story
interesting. Please excuse me if you find the language and expression are
not natural as English is not my mother tongue.

Comments and suggestions are welcome, Please send to, plus a title: From
hate o love.

Steve