Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 04:02:21 -0400
From: Just Jake <mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com>
Subject: From the Heart of a Little Guy VI (highschool)

This story is a work of fiction and any resemblances to  any
person or written works are purely coincidental.  The author
retains all rights to the work, and requests that in any use
of  this  material that my rights are respected.  Please  do
not  copy  or  use  this  story in  any  manner  without  my
permission.   It does contain consensual sex  between  young
men.   You've  found this site like the rest of  us  so  the
assumption  is that material of this nature does not  offend
you.   If  it  does, or it is illegal for you to  view  this
content  for whatever the reason please just keep on passing
by.

Without  apology,  my intention was to  focus  more  on  the
feelings  and emotions of the relationship rather  than  the
sex.   In  the  natural course of events as sex developed  I
have tried instead to capture the mental aspects rather than
the graphic details.

I  do  however  apologize that Part 6 has been  so  long  in
posting, thanks to those that have stuck with me!

As  always, please read of your own free will and direct any
positive   comments,  constructive  criticism   or   general
feedback to: mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com.



*    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *    *

Sleep was a long time coming for me that same night of my giving Jon his
first blow job.  Jon's room is what would have been the mud room
between the garage and the laundry room, and just off of the
kitchen in the cozy two story house.  It only fits his twin
(single) bed and shelves in each of the four corners that serve as
everything from a dresser to a display for his few CD's and books
and other keepsakes.  His bed is directly on the floor, a box
spring and a mattress, no frame or headboard.  For lighting there
is a wall mounted light that plugs into an extension chord running
from an outlet in the laundry room, and a yellow triangular waxed
cardboard Ikea lamp that gives off the faintest of light.  There
isn't even an alarm clock, or radio, he uses his Timex watch for
that.  An after thought addition by some previous owner, it's an
odd room for sure.  There's a door on each of the four walls; one
from the laundry room, another second front entrance, an entrance
to the car port, and the fourth, a doorway to the back yard.  There
are no windows, and the same linoleum that starts in the kitchen
extends into it through the laundry room.  Although it neither has
heating nor cooling available in it if needed, the benefit to his
room was that with the three doors nailed shut and blocked by his
bed, the room was privately nestled where there wasn't a floor
directly above it like the rest of the house.  Upstairs in the
actual house there were two bedrooms; his mothers, and one that
Candace and Lacey shared.  His sister Deanna had turned the dining
room into her bedroom, so Jon's privacy was only shot on the rare
nights that she wasn't at her boyfriends.  Therefore once in his
room we had a degree of seclusion and privacy.

We'd fully dressed again outside, for fear of a chance meeting with Jon's
mother or one of his sisters.  It makes no sense really that we did
so, we had just skinny dipped and given each other blow jobs in the
nude, and outside in his back yard to boot!  Still as brave as we
had just been we turtled and covered up fully.  Jon had a thing for
wearing my underwear, and put my smaller ones on.  I was finally
into a men's small, somewhat big on me but it was an ego booster!
However my grey Hanes were smaller than Jon's mediums and defined
his bulge quite flatteringly.  His pants did too, come to think of
it.  His legs are quite lithe and sinewy for not being very
athletically inclined.  They were muscular enough and defined like
a soccer player but neither bulky or flabby, nor thin like
toothpicks.   I must say that I felt a tinge of pride that those
creamy-bronze legs, lightly covered with fine blonde hair were
mine.  Well they weren't actually mine, but I was the one that got
exclusive rights to them, right?  After I was done admiring his
bulge, first in my underwear and then covered by his black khaki
work pants, Jon led me inside.  Creeping inside as quietly as
possible and sneaking into Jon's room the clothes were coming off
the instant he had slowly, quietly closed his door fully.  Matching
each other item for item, we did a little striptease.  No dancing
or anything like that, we would remove something and then admire
the part of each other that it exposed.  Still standing, down to
our underwear and socks again we couldn't contain our teenage
hormones.  It has been less than 5 minutes since I had ejaculated
in Jon's mouth but we were making out again, and groping each
others stiffening dicks again.  Sitting down on the edge of Jon's
bed we undressed each other from there.  One sock each, then the
other, and Jon stopped to kiss the tops of each of my feet after
removing a sock.  And after removing his underwear from my body he
kissed my very aroused dick.  I felt bad because I really wasn't
returning the favors as he did this.

We fooled around in his bed, playing with each other and exploring each
others bodies fully and completely.  In the darkness of his room we
slithered like snakes all over each other.  My hands got to explore
his whole body for the first time; boldly for me, yet still quite
cautiously.  We mock wrestled, Jon putting up no fight that night
so that he could be dominated by me.  I guess I'm an `ass man';
I've always loved his butt.  It was like a magnet pulling my hands
to his sweet cheeks.  As he lay blissfully naked, sprawled out on
his stomach on his messy, unmade bed I began pawing and caressing
his butt, and massaged it for a really long time.  It was a hot
night, and without air conditioning we were both slightly on the
sweaty side.  I began to slide my index finger up and down his
smooth and slippery crack.  I wasn't about to rim him, but I did
start kissing the damp small of his back; very cautiously, and made
certain that I my lips and tongue were clearly above his butt.  I
mean I'd heard of rimming, but honestly never wanted to be on
either end of that equation.  I just felt that it was too personal
a thing to do.  Eventually if there was to be sex I know that it
would require penetration there, but again, to put my tongue on his
rosebud or have his tongue on mine was degrading in my mind.  I was
amazed by the reaction I was getting from kneading his cheeks and
planting butterfly kisses on his back, and running my tongue up the
slight crevice that marked his spine.  Encouraged by his positive
reaction I wanted to further please him.  Taking all of my courage
I bunched the fingers of my right hand together and playfully
pressed against his rosebud.  Not that I wasn't enjoying it so long
as I didn't think how personally I was touching my lover, possibly
overstepping my bounds.  Still, my fingers had instinctively found
their way to his bud in an attempt to give him the most pleasure I
could.  After pressing the full force of my four bunched together
fingers against him, I began to play with just one finger, circling
his bud and teasingly pushing against it.  Eventually I could see
that he had loosened up, and I started to ever so slightly
penetrate him.  This put him in a state of euphoria.  I could tell
that I was having a magical effect on his body by the way he was
moving under me, starting to grind the mound of a duvet beneath
him, and whispering my name and that he loved me.  Because of this,
and only this, I didn't retreat and stop the attention on his
rosebud.  He suppressed most of his sounds, just the occasional
gasp when I really hit a good spot I guess.  Still, I wasn't brave
enough to actually penetrate him anything more than like half a
fingernail.  I know that's how guys have sex, but again just like
rimming, where thoughts of my dick in him were perversely dirty yet
unbelievably mesmerizing, thoughts of my finger in him were equally
just as gross.

It had been a long day for Jon.  For about a year he had worked Saturdays at
the music store in the mall.  This day he was beat, starting at
8:30 at the music store and rushing from his shift there just in
time for his shift at the restaurant.  Justifiably so, he was
really tired.  Still kissing his back, his bud getting the
attention of my one exploring hand, with my other hand gently
rubbing the back of his neck, he drifted off to sleep on me.  Just
seeing him sleep with a smile still on his beautiful face made me
cry slightly, I was so overcome with a tornado of emotions.  I was
incredibly happy that I had him; that we had met and were what we
were to each other.  I was fiercely proud that I had brought him
some level of pleasure.  I was proud of him.  I was feeling a wave
of love for him that I didn't quite know how to handle, it made me
feel so good that It was hard to contain and keep secret.  I
worried that this was too good to last and something would happen
between us.  Or that we'd get discovered by the wrong people.  The
wrong people ultimately being anyone.  I slipped my boxer briefs
back on.  It was a chore pulling the duvet out from under Jon, but
once I had it free I covered us up, to our waists because despite
the heat I was still bashful.  I know being the only man in the
house Jon was afforded full privacy behind his closed door, but
still, just imagine if his Mom or sisters saw us together naked in
his bed!  Unlike at my place I think there would be a lot more
questioning along the sexuality lines than the pot smoking ones.
Somewhat safely hidden behind the closed door and under his duvet I
risked resuming my gentle massaging of his back and butt for a
while, ecstatic to be in bed with him.  Eventually I focused mostly
on gently kissing his neck and cheek and forehead not buried in his
pillow.  Long after he had drifted off on me I snuggled up to him,
holding him until I too fell asleep.

It wasn't an everyday thing that we fooled around, heck, we sometimes still
went more than a week between stolen kisses.  Yet spurred on by our
recent advancements, the next week we did the same thing more or
less.  It was the Thursday before Labor Day Weekend, down to a few
days before school was starting again for a new year.  We left
work, took the busses home and then smoked up all the way from the
bus stop to his house.  Again we skinny dipped in his aging pool
and made out under the awning on his back deck, jerked each other
off a bit and then got dressed and snuck inside to his room.
Having only worked that one job that day, this time Jon was awake
and alert.  We repeated the events of the previous weekend, but
this time Jon was more into it.  We started undressing each other.
As passive as Jon is when we are out together in public, or in any
social setting he may find himself for that matter, he has usually
been the aggressor when we get to fooling around.  I only had his
work shirt off and undershirt un-tucked when he was way past that,
opening the fly of my pants to discover that I was free-balling.
Yeah, not my thing at the time, I hate the chaffing and get too
many woodies from the rubbing.  But I won't wear something twice,
and since my lazy ass hadn't gotten around to doing laundry it was
my only option after my shower when hurrying to get to work.  His
excitement level rose dramatically.  I guess that this detail had
eluded him earlier in his back yard.  Jon pushed me onto his bed,
then forced me to lay down on my back.  He straddled me, the bulge
in his pants prominently on display in front of me.  Slowly,
gently, he started grinding his bulge against my dick.  I winced
every time I felt the zipper of his khaki's grind against my dick,
and so fumbled with his belt, button and zipper while he attempted
to give me a hickey on my chest, just below my neckline.  His
mission proudly accomplished, once he was satisfied with the red
mark on my chest he rolled off of me and shucked his pants and
Haynes in one smooth motion.  Keeping his tank top on, we then
continued the hand jobs from outside.  Jon then went down on me a
bit and we made out some more.  We were blue balling each other,
stopping the arousal when we sensing that the other was close to
climaxing.  Eventually as it would probably have been getting light
out Jon showed me how he puts the neck of a wine bottle in his butt
and jerks off, caressing the muscle behind his sac with his free
fingers.  Laying there on his back with the bottle in him, his
cheeks visibly blushing even in the warm glow of the dim light, he
told me for the first time that he wanted to sit on my dick.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Of course he could, we both knew that nothing was off limits.  It was our
agreement that we would be open and honest about any thing and
everything.  Still, as much as we were at each other's mercy that
way, we were true to each other.  That's what counted most.  Sure,
there were apprehensions, but is that any different just because we
were two gay teenagers guarding each other's deepest darkest secret
than any other lovers I ask?

I did feel nervous at the question but tried to mask it with somewhat
sarcastic bravado, "No!  .Of course.  You know can ask me
anything."

"Daniel, will you love me?" Jon asked of me, to my mild confusion.

Not interpreting his subtle offer I replied, "Of course I will.  Heck, I do!
I love you Jon.  Why?"

"No, can you love me, like make love to me?  Can I please sit on you, have
you inside me?"  We called it that; loving each other, not fucking
or anything similarly degrading.

"Oh." I said at first, the realization hitting me of what he was asking, and
stunned by his offering himself to me.  Not that it came as a huge
surprise, we both knew in one way or another that we were headed to
this moment for some time.  "Wow, Jon.  Ummm.What can I say.  I
love you.  I'll try if you want me to, if you think you're ready.
I hope I'm O.K."

He quietly assured me he was ready for it, more as a nod of his head as we
locked eye contact than any thing vocalized.  He did whisper,
"Daniel, I think you'll be way more than just O.K.  I know it."

I really, really wanted to try it, like all teenagers I'd wanted to have sex
for the first time so badly.  Not just that, but Jon had become my
world, my sun, my moon and stars.  He had taken all parts of my
virginity so far; of course I wanted to give all that remained to
him and only him!  As I lay spread-eagle on his bed Jon put a
condom on me that he had taken from a keepsake box on his top shelf
above the head of his bed and lubed it up with some hand lotion.
Kneeling over me and pulling the duvet up over his shoulders, we
passionately kissed again as Jon's hand found my throbbing dick.
We were almost belly to belly, our lips sealed together.  He deftly
moved my dick around, massaging his bud with it and making my body
go crazy at the same time.  He made numerous attempts to have his
body accept my intrusion.  His eyes rolled this way and that as he
repeatedly tried to find courage and the right angle.  Then it was
time, finally achieving penetration I could still feel the
tightness of being ever so slightly inside of his body when he
removed his hand from my sheathed dick.   Arching his head and neck
back, in one quick sitting up motion Jon broke our kiss and had me
completely inside him.  OH MAN!  His eyes fluttered and his butt
started clenching as soon as I was in him.  I could see shock,
pain, and fear on his face.  At first he just sat that way.  He had
tears in the corners of his eyes and I could feel his legs
quivering against my hips.  He then thrust up and down on me maybe
a dozen times and promptly, forcefully, shot his load all over me.
I didn't get it in my eyes or my hair, or even in my mouth.  It
mostly pooled on my stomach, with some spraying up to and on my
neck and chest.  His butt clenched real tight as he came, and
instantly because of this sensation I shot a load inside him in new
record time!  It was for sure my most intense orgasm ever.  Still,
it wasn't anything great like a porno scene, the actual intercourse
lasted like 30 seconds, tops.    Jon wanted to do me up the butt
then too, but I wasn't ready for that just then.  But this was our
first anal experience, so to us it was special.  Still inside my
love, I stayed hard.  With tears still welling in the corners of
his eyes Jon leaned forward and we passionately made out this way
for a while.

Breaking the kiss, laughing at himself softly he wiped the tears away,
whispering to me, "I must be fucked.  I've wanted this so bad and
for so long, Daniel I don't know why I'm crying."

"It's O.K. Jon.  I love you too, babe."

"Thank you, Daniel.  My Timon.  Thank you for this."

"No, thank you Jon. My love."

"Do you ever think that you can make yourself sick, just wanting something
so badly?  Not sick like throwing up sick, or even like fucked in
the head sick, just sorta like you don't feel quite right without
it sick?"

If I was a little puzzled by the timing of our whispered conversation I did
completely understood where Jon was coming from, however.  And
still, playing devil's advocate in my mine I worried, was he
hesitant now that we had gone past the point of no return?  Was he
regretting doing this?  Was it me; was he regretting doing this
with me?  But still talking, he went on, at one point quoting "The
Flame", a Cheap Trick song.   I had to play the words through my
head for days until I could remember the song name and who sings
it.

"I've wanted you for so long, I've wanted this for so long.  Not really like
physically you inside me, more emotionally you inside me.  These
tears are for that Daniel.  This is forever, you know?   You'll
always be in me now, always be with me.

`I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep.
I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you.
You'll always be the one.
You were the first, you'll be the last.

Wherever you go, I'll be with you.
Whatever you want, I'll give it to you.
Whenever you need someone to lay your heart and head upon,
Remember: after the fire, after all the rain,
I will be the flame,
I will be the flame.'

I love you Daniel, forever and always."

I could tell by the way he was talking to me that he had put considerable
thought into what he said, probably rehearsed it more times than I
could even guess.  Being the emotional basket case that I know I
am, I shared tears with Jon.  He was right there on me, I was
physically connected to him, but still my heart cried in yearning
for him.  After using his gitch to wipe my chest and stomach dry,
together we cried tears of happiness, release, whatever, as we
drifted off to sleep in each other's arms in his bed.

Into the afternoon on that day when we had had sex for the first time we
went to the mall once we'd finally stirred from our blissful visit
in each other's arms to the sandman.  We had the excuse of last
minute school shopping to go there with.  There was definitely an
awkwardness between us that day and for a few after it, we made
tons of eye contact for emotional reassurance, and even a couple
hand squeezes when no one was around.  That afternoon especially we
had a hard time finding our voices around each other.  In the
Disney Store we ended up buying each other stuffed animals.  I got
Jon a Tigger because I'd discovered over time that he loves Tigger,
and he got me a Timon because that guy makes me laugh so much and
that was the first movie we ever cuddled to.  So we had something
from each other to sleep with when we couldn't sleep with each
other.

Of course my mom didn't take too well to me sleeping with a stuffed animal.
One morning that I overslept through my alarm a bit during that
first week of the school year she found me unconsciously sniffing
the stuffed weasel after she woke me.

A day or so later she asked me, "Who's cologne is on that doll?  You didn't
waste any of you school money on Cologne did you?  You did give me
all of the receipts?"

I pretended like I didn't know what she was talking about but it was kinda
pointless because I didn't own any cologne and I selfishly had
doused Timon in Jon's Polo Sport, "What are you talking about?  I
don't know why it smells like Cologne, maybe it's from a tester I
used at the mall or something."

She persisted, "Daniel Rice, you did give me all of the receipts?"

"Yes."  And I had, except for Tigger, but that was out of tip money that she
didn't know about anyhow.

She was unrelenting in her scathing line of questioning.  I think it was
still more the lingering effects of Jim Beam or his friend Yukon
Jack asking me, "Then where's the one for that doll?  Why do you
have a doll anyway, did a girl give it to you?   Or did your
boyfriend Jon give it to you?"

I didn't answer.

"Daniel!  You answer me young man.  What are you, a queer?"  Well there it
was, the inevitable question.  My heart sank.

"No." I croaked, hardly more than a whisper, then more vehemently to protect
myself shot back words that stung me more than her question, words
I deeply regretted inside saying, "Have you ever looked in my room,
you cow?  Have you ever seen all of my awards for sports?  Do you
think I could do any of that if I was a fudge packer?  Fuck you,
bitch!"

She didn't say anything more but she threw out Timon on me, and since school
started that September she'd started getting heavily on my case if
I had a girlfriend and who I thought was cute and shit like that.

In my junior year (Grade 11) now I have faced so much crap.  First I got
taken off the starting line for the third game of the football
season.  Despite keeping up with practices through the summer I
guess being a small running back had worked for me before, but in
game situations my legs just weren't fast enough to compensate for
the longer strides of the bigger guys anymore.  In the first two
games I was always at the right place just a fraction too late.
Mom and Arnie were both there for that game when I got pulled, as
well as Jon with Neil and Tim.  I couldn't help it; I cried a lot
that night.  I was really bummed about that.  Mom was all like
good, more time to study and chase skirts.  What a bitch she was to
me, not that I hadn't learned that that was the best I could expect
from her.  But other than Jon, football was my only true passion in
life.  Arnie was the one who was actually really sympathetic to me
while mom just crowed.  He tried to help me find a new interest,
somewhat halfheartedly, but still it was more than my mom cared to
do.  He took me to a few Houston Astro's games and bought me a new
ball glove so that I could play with the guys that played baseball.
I knew the sport, how to play and hit, I just didn't care for it
like football.  Eventually he just told me that if I want it bad
enough Coach wasn't going to be able to ignore me forever.

Then by Hallowe'en Coach had taken me out of games completely and only had
me practicing.  I guess he didn't have the heart to fully rip mine
out and take football completely away from me.  Everyone said for
me to stick with it, when I grow some more I'll kick ass and all
that good stuff.  You know humor the little guy, right?  Then one
day right before Thanksgiving I got accidentally clipped while
running a play, but it was so hard and I twisted the wrong way that
I strained my knee, and broke my fibula (one of two bones in the
calf).  I was in the hospital for like three days because I also
got a concussion and they wanted to do all sorts of tests and stuff
on me.  I was told that my bones were still soft like all kids are
before they hit their teenage years, and I would have to be a lot
more careful.  I got this real dopey cast from knee to toes like
you see on silly skiing accident or car insurance commercials.  All
through this Jon helped me out at school as well as Neil and Tim,
carrying my books for me and stuff.  Michael treated me like I had
the plague or something.  I had to switch out of gym class to a
stupid computer class that semester.  Then in like 5 weeks when
that was almost healed and I had a soft cast on I lost my balance
going down stairs at school, falling down the last 3 or 4.  This
time around I fractured my tibia (the other bone in the same calf),
dislocated my patella (kneecap), strained my wrist and deeply
bruised my forearm.  I had to have an operation on my knee to get
the patella put back into place.  I spent the first part of
Christmas holiday in the hospital.  It wasn't until Valentine's day
that I was close to fully healed.  I also had a huge growth spurt
during all of this and am now 4' 9" which is taller than my mom and
I am almost now 6" where it counts!

Of course with my injured leg Jon has become a horny top, and I have
discovered that I am a bottom!  The first night home from the
hospital after Thanksgiving Jon had stayed over because I was
convincingly whiney enough.  I think mom might have been catching
on to the idea that Jon and I are lovers.  But I told her I needed
someone's help and I for sure wasn't having her give me a shower or
assist me going to the bathroom and Arnie too was all for the idea
because he said that he was through wiping kid's asses for them the
day Todd was potty trained.  Jon ended up staying over a lot.  On
two of those nights we very quickly and quietly had sex after I had
a shower.  The actual sex was sort of your get in, get it on, get
off, and get out 5 minute sessions.  Even then it was when we were
absolutely certain that we would not get caught, even though the
door was locked to my room and no one else was home!   Although at
first I didn't want or like Jon's man-meat in me I got used to it
easily and actually longed for the next time when he would fill me
with his dick, for the closeness it made me feel to him.

And yet I have to say though that the first time I bottomed was magic.  I
really can't say why, but it had been a while obviously since we
had built up the courage to have sex our first (and only other)
time.  I was laying on my stomach after shucking my shorts and soft
cast and Jon started to massage my leg for me.  His hand moved up
steadily until his fingers were caressing my butt cheeks more than
anything and his fingers kept slipping into the crack of my butt.
Next thing I know he is prodding my bud and his finger slipped in
so easily, despite how tense I think I was.  It felt kinda good,
kinda bad.  My dick standing at attention I told him I better have
my shower before anyone got home.  We had a quick shower together,
with Jon spending considerable time and attention on my butt.
After toweling dry and returning to my room he asked if he could
love me and I said what the hell.  Actually I acknowledged that I'd
love for him to make love to me.  He laid me down on my bed and
pushed my legs towards my chest.  I wrapped my arms around them and
then he went to work fingering me again and alternately jacking me
off while licking my balls and then sucking my dick.  A few times
he ventured his tongue down to my rosebud, spending a little more
time there each pass.  I felt strange having him do this to me.
Soon he had one finger and then 2 fingers inside me.  This I will
say felt all good, no shame or pain whatsoever, only pleasure.
After struggling to get a condom on his beautiful appendage he
lubed me up really good, and gently slid his now 6"+ rod just past
his head into me in one thrust and then stopped.  OH MAN!  At first
I thought the pain was going to split me apart!  He stayed in me
though, motionless as I waited for the pain to subside.  It didn't
at first until I started wiggling.  I didn't want to chicken out on
him, I didn't want to offend or hurt him, or make him not want me.

Lying, I encouraged him, "Oh Jon.  You feel so good.  (The lie.)  Hurry up
and get all the way inside me.  I want you so badly."

What I really wanted was to pleasure him and get it over with as soon as
possible.  And with the green light then his shoulders rolled my
legs further towards me, my knees on either side of my head as he
bottomed out in me and his dick hit my g.

Sweetly he checked, "Are you O.K.?  Do you want me to stop?"

Yes, stop, your huge dick is tearing my small hole apart.  That's what I was
thinking, but instead offered him affirmation, "Oh Jon.  I love you
so much.  I want you so badly.  You feel so amazing.  Please Jon,
love me."

Hitting my g did sorta counter the splitting pain, and once Jon started
pumping to my surprise I actually was like man, this feels pretty
good for a while.  He lasted a long time, at least a lot longer
than I had inside him.  He was at least 2 minutes inside me to the
point that I was starting to get really uncomfortable again when he
finally sucked in a lot of air, pushed forcefully forward and then
grunted in ecstasy as his body shuddered and he released himself in
me.  To be fully honest though, it never felt great that time, or
even the next.  But I never said so, and fully intended to continue
to bottom Jon because I didn't want to upset or offend him: I love
him and wanted him so bad.  This sorta confused me a lot, but I
reasoned that he's what my heart desired and I was willing to
sacrifice for him.  I say that first time was magic because that
was it.  We had given each other everything we have to offer
emotionally, spiritually and now physically.  He stayed inside me
and played his fingers along my choda, between my balls and bud,
giving me intense pleasure while I finished myself off.  When he
wasn't moving inside me, just there, I actually liked the feeling
as all the pain had subsided.  Like I said it was a five minute
slam, bam, thank you man between his entering me and my getting
off.  It wasn't hot steamy sex, it was pretty un-coordinated, but
it was the solidification of every feeling we had and the last way
to express it to each other.  As I was cumming Jon withdrew from
me.  We kissed for as long as we dared before he wiped me down and
I put my Joe Boxer pajama pants on and he put his Haynes on and
opened the door and crashed in Todd's bed.

Yeah, that was another thing, since the pot party at the beginning of the
summer I wasn't allowed to have my door closed when I went to bed,
and not at all when Jon was over.  But really, who was my mom
kidding with that; I was home alone more than not anyhow.
Somewhere between Thanksgiving and Christmas that rule was mostly
forgotten.  Some nights mom probably didn't even know whether Jon
was over or not.  But getting back to the night I bottomed for the
first time; that night Jon and I shared the remaining vestiges of
our innocence with each other and only each other.  That was it, in
every way except self sex, we had now completely and exclusively
given each other the full extent of our own virginities.  We had
almost decided to forgo condoms because before each other we were
both total virgins and without them it was easier for us to hide
our sex, but we used them anyhow.  Don't get me wrong here, we
don't fuck like bunnies.  Try planning a chance to get some sweet
ass with the chance of Arnie and my mom around and with Jon's mom
and his sisters.  We've done it a whopping total of three times now
since last summer.  Yeah, you gotta be careful.

Jon had bought me another Timon when I was in the hospital at Christmas time
and mom let me keep that one.  Haha, that's probably because I
never let her see him!  But a few nights Jon and I actually chanced
sleeping together instead for a while rather than with the stuffed
animals we'd exchanged.  We'd set his watch alarm so that he could
get back to Todd's bed before mom or Arnie got up.

Anyhow, the day I got out of the hospital the second time Arnie got Jon and
I both the last two puppies from one of his mechanic that was
having a hard time getting rid of the pups.  I guess the guy was a
breeder, and had a registered rottweiler that got knocked up by an
unregistered one and the guy couldn't sell then for any good money.
Jon named his boy Bandit.  Hahaha, try training a big-ass dog on
crutches with a wrist brace!  Stop, sit, heal.yeah right you and
what army are gonna make me, how about YOU sit, broken boy????  So
Arnie has been training Rocky and has me help so that he will
listen to my voice too.  Mom doesn't like Rocky at all, but I think
Arnie really does; hell, he's even helping Jon with Bandit.  Mom
was pissed with Arnie and swore that I had to get rid of Rocky, but
Arnie shot her down.  That was the first time I ever heard mom and
Arnie argue about me; Arnie matter of factly told mom that I'm sure
as hell no sissy, but if I am going to be a little guy, I better at
least have a big dog with a big bite or a gun.  Mom reluctantly
settled for Rocky.  But what a bitch, I was the biggest jock in
school despite being the little guy and she there she was calling
me a sissy all the same.

One thing that everyone is noticing about me now as I've grown some is that
my voice hasn't deepened a whole lot.  Some people even come out
and tell me to my face that I sound kinda faggy.  Put that with the
fact that I am like hairless and have the delicate gay boy look to
me and straight people just assume more often than not that I'm a
homo behind my back.  I mean sure, of course I am, but how do they
fuckin know for sure?  Were they there anytime Jon and I have ever
done anything remotely sexual or boyfriend like?  Ixnay, it's never
happened.  There's only ever been one slip up between Jon and I, we
are so careful because we are so afraid, and we get scared so many
times that we don't often even do anything anyhow.

As for that slip up, at school one day near the end of January Jon was
helping me and we accidentally held hands in the hallway.  Not like
holding my boyfriends hands kinda holding hands, it was like he was
handing me something and our fingers accidentally momentarily
entwined.  But we all know what high school rumors and kids are
like.  Poof, just like that because one girl saw the slip and had a
big mouth we were pointed out as fags by like everyone, even minor
niners.  Even so, that shit died down quickly because people didn't
really think it of us, it's high school after all and they just
needed some hot gossip.  That, and unlike me, Jon doesn't look or
sound gay at all.  As for me, I think that people put my soft voice
with my small size and good looks and think I am delicate.  Being
delicate is as good as being a fag in most people's minds.  Still,
I tell them what about Mike Tyson, my voice is deeper than that
guys!  Then they say stuff like well look at him, he's the toughest
guy in the world.  I then flex and say I'll be him someday.  Like
fuck, I have pecks, I have abs, I have decent tennis balls for
biceps.  Not all that impressive you might say, but in proportion
to my body if I didn't look like a pretty boy in the face and was
taller people would think I'm built.

The only people that for sure knew I'm gay were Todd and Coach, and both
have been real cool to me, not jerks.  I did get picked on because
of my size, but because I was so close friends with a lot of the
football guys I just have to tell my friend Train and he'll just
stare at the person for me and they totally back off.  Train is
huge and built just like the NFL linemen.  In school no one messes
with him because he is way tougher off the football field than on,
and he's getting mad-scouted by big name colleges right now so it
tells you he's good on the field.  Man, Train is 6'4" and I am like
at eye level with the nipples on his pecks.  He's totally plated
with muscles, like the wrestler Scott Steiner, and with abs too!
But he's cool too, he liked me for my determination and even though
we all know I'm just too small now he didn't forget about me.  But
man oh man, I thought that my life was gonna be over on that day
when Jon and I slipped up.  But when the shit started about Jon and
I being fags Train helped me out and was like spreading some
bullshit story about some chick he caught us tag team banging at a
party.  He even started my locker room nick-name "Half Way",
because nearing 17 years of age now I am still so short that it
sometimes looks like my boner reaches like half way up my torso!
It does pass my belly button and reach half way between that and my
nipples.

And so the only thing Train didn't know, or at least I think he didn't know,
was that at that Hollowe'en party that he cited, he was too drunk
to realize that the "girl" Jon and I were banging wasn't anywhere
to be seen!  Or maybe he was just being a friend and protecting me
anyhow.  Not that Jon and I were having sex at that party though or
even glancing at each other like we wanted to; we aren't near
stupid enough to ever try that shit.  The party was at my friend
Tania's.  Tania and I go back to grade 2 so we are really pretty
close.  Jon and I just passed out on the same bed like we've done
before.  Michael was there too, on a throw rug on the floor because
the bed was too small for three passed out guys.  And hell no,
there was no girl in the room with us that we were double teaming
on like Train thought or said, and the only reason he even got to
see my dick that night was because I had passed out and Michael
thought it would be funny to take my clothes all off me and hide
them in a freezer.  You know, Trick or Treat!  I guess what Train
saw my exposed morning wood or my drunk dick.  (Yeah, I get bad
boners when I drink a lot.)

So long story short, Train shut people up for me about the gay shit and Jon
and I holding hands saying that even if it were true that we held
hands momentarily it'd be because I lost my balance or something.
No one bothered to argue him.  Part of me wanted him to say who
cares if we are fags, they still have to deal with him if they have
a problem.  The wiser part of me didn't really hope that he'd imply
that I was a fag, especially not knowing how even he'd react.  As
my first and last line of physical defense I needed him fully on my
side.  Still my mind played out different scenarios.

The bigger rumor that caught on though was through the locker room that my
dick was huge.  I could definitely handle people talking about
that, but of course it came with the jeers that I looked like a 12
year old kid too.  I guess you take the good with the bad.