Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 13:44:47 -0800 (PST)
From: James <nightwolf69_19@yahoo.com>
Subject: Giving In: Part 4

Okay, the usual header thing. If you're not over 18, then you shouldn't be
reading this, blah blah blah. Okay, here, let's just say this. I don't care
if you're here, just don't get caught and erase your history so no one
finds it. Okay, um, if this isn't your thing, then why the hell are you
here. If you're a homophobe, then you should be asking yourself some huge
questions. Okay, enjoy the story. Please e-mail me with any comments at:
nightwolf69_19@yahoo.com. CYA! Oh, and this is not real life, all the
characters are fictional. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead is
kind of creepy, but whatever. Enjoy!

Giving In: Part 4

By Nightwolf.

What happened before...

"Hey, you guys hear about that Rave they're gonna have in the desert next
weekend?" Cory asked. Cory was a friend of ours and probably the only
person that knew about us.

"How the hell are we gonna get into a Rave?" I asked. "Not to mention that
we're only 13. They don't exactly let you in then."

"Are you kidding? Anyone could get in. It's the fucking desert. So, you
wanna go?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure, count us in." Jake said, sounding excited.

............................................................................

Two days later...

"Come on!" Jake yelled from downstairs.

I was in my room, getting ready for the Rave. To be truthful, it all kind
of scared me, but I was really excited at the same time and couldn't wait
to get there. I finally picked a pair of really baggy blue jeans and a
somewhat tighter black shirt and looked in the mirror. Damn, I was cute. I
then walked down the stairs to find Jake gawking at me.

"Damn, you are cute." he said smiling.

"You were spying on me weren't you?" I said, trying to hide a smile, but it
wasn't working. He just kind of blushed and grinned that heart-melting
grin.

"Yeah, so? It's not like I'd see something that I haven't seen before." he
winked, and I blushed.

Seeing this as a sign, he came over and kissed me. My heart was pounding in
my chest as he pushed his tongue in my mouth. I wanted this to last
forever, but he pulled away and grinned.

"Come on, we're gonna be late."

We both were going to walk since we didn't know anyone that could drive. We
were walking down a dark main street when Cory yelled out to us.

"Yo! Wait up! We might as well go together," he panted out. "As long as you
don't start making out in front of me." he said with this huge evil grin on
his face. I looked at Jake only to find the same smile.

"Hmmmmmmm, I don't know if I can do that."

He gave an evil wink and pulled me into a very deep kiss. I was panting
when I finally came back for air to hear Cory making gagging noises and
then made a face.

"Ugh, dude. You have to stop doing that." Then he started laughing. Jake
and I just smiled and we were back on our way.

The rest of the way was pretty uneventful. We finally go to that spot in
the desert about 15 minutes later and what can I say. It looked awesome!
I've never seen anything like what I saw. There was really loud techno
music blaring from speakers that I swear were taller than my house and so
many flashing lights, it was not funny. I would have wondered how it was
all being powered, but then I noticed that while I was standing there
looking dazed, Cory and Jake were in a dead sprint half way there already
and I had to hurry to catch up with them. When we got to the edges we all
stood and gazed. The music was even louder and we could not wait to jump
in. Just then this really cute guy that was probably 16 appeared in front
of us.

"Hey, who brought in the kids?" he yelled. "What are you squirts doing
here?" He started laughing. You could tell he was probably on
something. "Okay, whatever little people. Don't talk. Here take this."

He handed me a pill and a bottle of water that appeared to have just popped
out of thin air. Jake and Cory looked at it warily, not sure what to think
of it. After a few seconds the hot teen just snickered and was about to
close his hand and walk away.

"Wait!" I shouted. "Here, give it to me."

I put out my hand and the water in my other hand. Then he wandered back
into the crowd. Jake and Cory were looking at me, waiting to see what I
do. I took a deep breath and put the pill in my mouth and took a gulp of
water. Just then, everything went weird. I mean, I could still see and
stuff, but it was weird. I could not see like you normally see, but
everything was dark and the lights were doing a blurring thing. But I could
still hear the music perfectly and see it too. Lines of light changing with
the music. I tired to reach and touch them, but they always danced away. I
could hear distant laughing and talking too. I could not make it out at
all, but I did not care. This was just too cool and pleasant. Everything
was peaceful and it was great! There were other batches of lights too, blue
and white ones. What were they? They were annoying too, like my alarm
clock. A siren sound I think. Then it all ended. I felt wind rushing past
me like I was running and then it all stopped. It was dark and peaceful
again. Then I started to "wake up" and I was aware of everything. I was in
someone's arms. I lifted my head and looked. It was Jake and we were just
standing in the shadow of a big rock, swaying back and forth, dancing to an
invisible song.

"This is the place we first kissed." I whispered in his ear. His head
snapped up and looked around him, then smiled softly.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"What happened?"

"Cops came. There must have been a tip off. I grabbed you and we ran off."

"What about Cory?" I asked.

He lifted his chin to a figure staring up at the stars. It must have been
Cory. I climbed up to him, sensing he needed someone. I always came to this
rock and do what he was doing whenever I was depressed or whatever.

"Hey man, you alright?" I said, sitting next to him. He turned his head
towards me and looked into my eyes, kind of blankly, but sadly.

"I dreamed this." he said, looking back to the sky.

"Dreamed what?"

"This." he said simply. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world and
couldn't figure out why.

I chuckled, "Care to be more specific?"

He sighed. " was here sitting on this rock, looking at the sky, you came
up, sat by me, then talked for a bit, and we started..." he blushed and
looked away.

"What? What did we do?" I asked, suppressing a smile.

I know he was probably going through something or other, but I've never
seen Cory get embarrassed. I had to admit, it was kind of cute.

"You know, I kinda envy Jake."

"Why?" I asked, a bit more seriously. "Because he has someone who loves him
very much." I jokingly said.

"No. Because he has you." he turned to me, pain in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since I moved here, what, 5 years ago, I've always envied the way you
and Jake hung out all the time, envied that friendship you had because he
got to be closet to you than I ever could."

By now, I was thoroughly confused. What was he saying?

"When I saw you guys kissing and I first saw that you two were together,
you told me, and I acted happy for you guys, but that night I went home and
cried." Cory paused, but then continued. "He fell in love with you and you
to him. I cried, because you didn't fall for me. The first time I ever saw
you, I knew that I loved you. I have always have. You've been the only
person I've ever seen that I felt that way with and not I can't, because
Jake's my friend too, and I can't help but be racked with guilt."

He then stopped, never taking his eyes off the stars. We were both really
quite for a while. What he did next was totally unexpected. He leaned in
and kissed me on the lips. Not really passionately, but one that lasted
only a few seconds, then broke it and looked into my shocked eyes.

"Sorry, I had to get that off my chest or I was probably about to jump off
this rock or something. I understand if you don't want to ever talk or see
me again." he said, and then started to get up.

"Wait, Cory, wait." I pleaded. I really wanted to talk to him.

"What?" he sheepishly said.

"Look, you're a great guy, and I love you, but as a friend only. I'm really
sorry Cory." I said. "You okay?"

After a little bit, he finally said, "I guess." He then sat back
down. "What am I gonna do?"

I could see real pain in his eyes. It was a side of him I've never
seen. He's always been happy, but I could tell that he was really lonely
and in pain.

"You're a great guy. I'm sure you'll make one lucky boy really happy. Come
on, I bet Jake's worried about us."

I started climbing down, Cory not far behind me. When we got back down,
Jake was leaning against the rock, looking like he was deep in thought as
well. He then weakly smiled at us when he saw us coming down.

"Hey, about time you got down. Talking about me? I know how much people do
that." Jake smiled, winking at me.

"Yeah, yeah. Like anyone wants to talk about your ugly ass." I joked,
sticking my tongue out. Everyone just laughed. "Okay, let's get outta
here."

We all went our different ways at around the same place we met up. Cory
going back home, with Jake and I going to my place.

"Aaron, can I talk to you?" Jake asked, looking at his feet.

"Yeah, about what?"

"What were you and Cory doing on that rock?"

Everything was silent for a little bit as we both stopped.

"I saw you two kissing, you and Cory."

"He kissed me Jake."

"Yeah, okay." was all he said. I could tell that he was still being torn
about this. "Why would he kiss you?"

"He has a crush on me. He said he had to do it, otherwise it was gonna
torture him forever."

"Yeah, right." he mumbled, under his breath, obviously so I wouldn't hear
it.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what did you say?!"

"I don't believe you, alright?" he shouted, looking angry. He started
walking again, not looking back.

"Jake! It's true, believe me. It's true! It's true!" I called after him,
but he did not stop. "It's true, it's true..." I started saying, more
quietly as I walked backwards and slid to the ground against a wall. A
little while later, maybe an hour or so, I am not sure. I was sitting just
looking at my knees. I heard someone walking towards me and stop right in
front of me. It was probably some killer, or pedophile or something, but I
did not care, and so I did not look up. I heard him sit on the ground in
front of me.

"Hey." it was Jake. I looked up at his worried eyes, but did not say
anything.

"Look, promise me something, okay? Promise me that you were telling me the
truth, that he kissed you, that it meant nothing, and promise me that you
won't leave me for someone else because you're bored of me. Because that's
my worse fear, that I'll be alone again, betrayed. Please tell me that you
won't do that. Please!" he was pleading now, on the verge of tears. I have
never seen him hurt. I looked in his eyes and he looked hurt and lost. Like
the way I have so many times in the past, I leaned in and hugged him as
hard as I can.

"I'll never leave you Jake. I can't even stand the thought of you not being
there. Make me the same promise, that you won't leave me."

"Okay, I won't. I never will."

After that, we got up and went home silently. We were both really tired,
and just fell asleep on my bed, but not before we got a goodnight kiss
in. We laid on our sides, with his arms wrapped around me. We fell into a
peaceful sleep, not knowing that someone was watching through my doorway.

TBC

Okay, that's it for this chapter. I hope you guys like it. I know it's a
bit young for the high school section, but remember, it's a flashback to
when Jake (the dead boyfriend) was still around, showing how it all
happened. For all those who do not like the flashback idea, tough, cause
I'm going with it. Major thanks to my editor. You know who you are
(probably reading this in e-mail). Please e-mail me with anything, you know
hate mail, praises, love letters, whatever, LOL. Peace out.