Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 22:23:39 -0800 (PST)
From: fyiord@yahoo.com
Subject: Heartache 04

This story continues where Heartache 03 left off in the story 'Heartache'
in /High School/. Thanks to all who took the time to email me with their
comments and encouragement.

This story is fiction and is by no means depictive of the life of any
person, place or thing. It contains no penetrative sexual acts between
males YET and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your
area. Read at your own risk. Comments are welcomed and would be very much
appreciated. ENJOY!

Heartache 04
By Fjord


Last night we had declared our love for each other and then had sex. Came
morning we were naked in the shower and in the end just showered
together. He washed my hair and I washed his. I scrubbed and washed his
body, and he scrubbed and washed me too. I toweled him dry and he toweled
me dry. I held his ass with my hands as he brushed my teeth and when I
brushed his teeth he wrapped his arms around me. We shaved each other
too. Just the facial hair. At all times we had semi hard erections between
us. Whenever I had the chance, I was giving Jake small kisses in deep love
and gratitude. I had never believed that he, my beautiful Jake, would love
me in the way I loved him.

When there was nothing more to do in the bathroom Jake just said,
"Loverboy, stop kissing me... Let's clean up the bedroom... get rid of the
evidence."

In the bedroom, still naked, we quietly cleaned up the place. The bed
looked okay. No cum spilled and became crusty on the bed sheets. Last night
was really safe sex. Jake took all our dirty clothes and ran naked
downstairs to wash them in their Electrolux washing machine down in the
basement. Upstairs, I went through his clean clothes to find any that would
fit me. I decided to wear Jake's faded Levi's with a slight tear at inner
thighs and a white T-shirt with the slogan 'Kiss My Hiney' at the back in
black letters. I had just buttoned up the jeans when I felt two hands from
the back slip under the front of the jeans and grabbed my balls and cock. A
hard cock pressed on my bum.

"I wanna kiss your hiney." Jake breathed heavily on my neck.

"Ads are always misleading..." I said as I pulled his hands out of my
crotch. "Get dressed... Ouch!" He bit me on the neck.

"That's for the false ad..." He said as he went to his drawers and grabbed
a black Metallica T-shirt and loose cut-off jeans. Like me he did not wear
any underwear.

I lay down on his bed watching him get dressed. He was looking at me the
whole time.

"I love you pretty boy..." I said to him. My eyes were fixed on his eyes.

He came and lay down facing me. And he kissed me softly on the lips. Our
lips locked. No tongues. Just lips. I caressed his cheek. He caressed my
chest and nipples.

He stopped kissing. He looked me in the eyes again and said, "My heart
wants me to hold you forever and never let you go ever again." He
paused. "Just now, when I was downstairs, I missed you so much already..."

I understood but I just listened.

"I am obsessed with you Eric. It's driving me nuts. I'm a psycho..."

"That makes two of us Jake..." I said as I ran my fingers through his hair
while still looking deep in his blue eyes. "That's why we need to talk
about us..."

"I know... I'm really on the edge right now... I'm feeling so happy right
now but I 'm so scared of you... and of myself... do you know what I mean?"
Jake looked away as he said this.

I understood him perfectly. I knew I would die the moment Jake did not love
me anymore. Of course I would not literally die but I might as well be
dead. It was a scary thought for anyone and even more so for a
17-year-old. I wanted to forget these issues for the moment. It was too
depressing. We were in love and should be having fun, not morbid thoughts.

"I'm also not ready for anyone else to know about us yet... Eric."

"Same here Jake... but let's talk about this later... after
breakfast... I'm hungry..." I quickly jumped off the bed and dragged him
out of it before he could say anything.

I guessed he had the same thought as he just nodded and in turn said, "
Race you downstairs... last one in the kitchen makes breakfast..." and sped
downstairs after quickly pushing me back onto the bed.

I let him win. I tasted his version of breakfast previously and it was
edible (a diplomatic description). No, I would do breakfast for the sake of
both of us.

He was standing at the kitchen door as I sauntered in past him. He looked
so good in those cut-off jeans but I was in control. I was always in
control.

As I slipped past him he went behind me and placed both his hands on my
shoulders and followed me to the refrigerator. It was fun to have him touch
me but it was stupid.

"Go sit down Jake... you're such a kid!"

"I am a kid... " He replied with a sulk as he did what I asked him to and
sat at the stool near the kitchen table.

"And I love you..." He added and smiled at me.

I could feel his eyes following me around as I made breakfast for two,
i.e. two glasses of milk, two bowls of cereal, two plates of scrambled eggs
and four slices of toast. We did talk about school stuff and other things
while I prepared breakfast and during breakfast. We were careful to skirt
around the heavy stuff like when we were going to have anal sex, blowjobs,
rimming, sixty-nining and whatever is in YOUR dirty mind. Sorry.

"I'll clean up." Jake said as we finished breakfast.

I told him I would check our clothes in the laundry room. The washing
machine was at the last cycle and so I went to Jake's room to switch on his
television and watch the Saturday morning cartoons. It was 9:17 am and I
was a bit sleepy. So I lay down on the floor just next to the bed and just
napped.

I woke up. Something wet trickled on my face. I opened my eyes and saw
Jake's face. He had been crying. My face was wet with his tears. He was
kneeling on the floor next to my head and leaning over me with his face
just a foot away from mine.

I was alarmed. Did somebody die or something? What's wrong with my Jake?

"I'm going crazy dude..." Jake whispered hoarsely to me. "I couldn't find
you... not in the basement... not in the living room or the kitchen. I
looked for you in here but I didn't see you..."

I guessed it was because stupid me slept on the floor next to the bedside
facing the TV. The side facing away from the door. He must not have seen me
then. I noticed the TV was off.

"I only saw you when I went to switch the TV off...". He continued.

I saw the time. 9:22 am.

"Man, that was just 5 minutes ago Jake..." I said without thinking.

"I know Eric... I know... I'm going crazy... I'm so sorry..." He just
collapsed on me, put his arms around me and sobbed loudly. Man, he was
trembling like a leaf. I was so worried.

"Shhhh... Just relax Jake... I'm here man... I'm not going anywhere..." He
held me even tighter.

"I'm gonna fuck it all up.... I'm so fucked up... they're gonna know about
us... I'm gonna ruin it for us..." My left shoulder was wet with his tears.

"Jake baby... calm down okay... we're gonna be okay... You'll be fine..." I
said this and pushed him up as I sat up. Jake laid his head on my lap and
looked up at me.

"You're just having some sort of a panic attack or something..." I wiped
the tears on his beautiful cheeks with my hands. I was worried. He seemed
so unstable emotionally since last night.

"Its time to have that talk..." I said to him.

"Okay... " He replied softly.

"We have to be honest with each other for this... us... to work... "

"Uhuh..." He agreed.

"Okay... Now let's start with what got us in this mess in the first
place... '

"Eric... I'm sorry... it was my fault last night..."

"No, doofus... I'm talking about you know..." I was a bit flustered and
trying my best to be cool about it.

"What..."

"Our love for each other..." There, I said it. My love for Jake. Jake's
love for me. It was getting mushy and very uncomfortable for me.

"Oh..." He was slightly embarrassed too, I could see.

"First, you tell me how on earth you can love me... I mean you're one of
the most popular boy in school... You go on dates with girls all the
time... We even double dated a few times... And I even saw you french kiss
those babes in front of my own eyes... I thought you were super
straight... I never thought I had a chance... not in a million years."

He took a few minutes before he replied. I kept quiet all the time. His
answer was very important to me.

"I thought I was straight too before I came here and met you... When I
first saw you it was like I was hit by a brick. Actually, it was not when I
dropped the vase you know. It was even earlier. The day I came with my
parents to see the house before we bought it, I went upstairs into this
room and I saw you sitting in your bed reading a book in your boxers
through that window." He pointed to the bedroom window directly facing his
bed. His bedroom window and mine are directly facing each other, so if we
opened the curtains we would see the inside of our bedrooms easily.

"You must have not known of us visiting because your window was open. I saw
you and the only thought in my mind was, look at that beautiful
face... look at that nice body... look at that nice black hair... That was
the first time I looked at a boy that way... See, I had a steady girlfriend
at my old place in Seattle and I was really pissed when my parents had to
move here... I saw you lay down on the bed and then take a nap... and then
when I thought of running my hands through your hair and touch your lips
and kiss you, I knew I was in deep trouble... I had only thought that way
with girls before."

I just played with his hair and listened.

"I went downstairs and told my parents I liked the house. Lucky for me they
did too. Before we left for Seattle I went upstairs to have a last look at
you but you weren't there. That's the first time I felt the pain in my
heart. See, I missed you already and I didn't even know you then.... I'm a
nut I tell ya..."

"Shhh... No you're not... keep going..." I wanted him to keep his focus. I
was also intrigued and pleased with the way he fell in love with me.

"Sorry... Anyways, I broke up with my girlfriend the day we left Seattle. I
was sad because I did love her but you know why... I never stopped thinking
about you, the beautiful boy next door, the whole time I was there..." His
right hand went up and caressed my left cheek. This time he looked at me in
the eyes.

"The day you came to help us move in... You asked my mom what you can do to
help and I just stared at you and when you looked at me, well, I just
dropped that vase...I had a crush on you earlier but I actually fell in
love with you at that moment... You were so beautiful... I realized
afterwards that I should be more careful around you... You know... be less
obvious... I didn't want to scare you away... So beginning that day by
careful manipulations I became your best friend..." I smiled at him and
grinned just seeing in my head Jake as a calculative and manipulative
14-year-old. I thought that I was the calculative and manipulative
14-year-old boy then.

"We became really close in like a week and I was in ecstasy... Remember how
we were together all the time just talking bull... I loved every minute of
it... just being with you... You were so smart and funny I felt a bit
jealous sometimes... I mean like you could crack a joke about anything and
all I could do was laugh... even today. The first time I told you I missed
you and I loved you, I had been watching your room for hours just waiting
for you to come home. We were supposed to meet after school and you just
went AWOL. I just waited until you came home like until it was dark
already. It was the first time we weren't with each other after
school. When your lights came on I just ran over and just told you my
feelings without thinking..."

Yeah. I remembered how I was hurting so much that day that I couldn't face
Jake. I had gone to the park to get myself together.

"You were like shocked when I told you... But then you said..."

"And I miss you too. Now go and cook dinner dear... I am famished..." I
continued for him in an upper class English accent and grinned.

"Yup... that's what you said and it was funny... he he." Jake smiled as he
gently pinched my left cheek. "I like your British accent. I knew then that
I could say my real feelings and you would not even have any idea that I
really mean it. It was like heaven and hell at the same time. That kept me
going all this time you know... Every time I wanted to tell you I love you
and how beautiful you look or how much I missed you or how kissable you
were or anything at all, I just said it... You always had some quick and
funny reply... It was enough for me then but not anymore. Last night I
crossed the line and I won't go back. I can't..." Tears started to flow
again. Both of us were crying silently.

"I don't think I can live without you Eric... Those girls they were just
decoys... I never did anything with them except kiss and grope... All the
time I just wanted to hold you... and by the way I was popular because of
you dude... I had the coolest, cutest and smartest boy in the school as my
best friend... It was easy. You are like a god there man and you are not
even a jock. Even the jocks respect you. I know cause I'm one of them."

Sorry, I forgot to mention it. Jake was a jock. He was supposed to be one
of the best quarterback the school ever had. Our school team had been
winning more games ever since he joined the team. Everybody loved
him. Including moi.

"I can tell you this for certain... No one... I mean no one would even
think you're... you know..." He was sputtering.

"G...A...Y...?" I spelt it out for him. Even I couldn't bring myself to say
it.

"Yeah... I didn't know for sure. You were so cool with everything and you
had girlfriends too. I would never have guessed. I know of some people who
were crazy about you. Boys and girls. You don't know how hot you are Eric."

"Jake... I thought you were supposed to talk about your love for me..." I
was blushing, just a bit.

"I don't know what else to say. I mean I love you for everything you
are. You are beautiful, handsome, funny, sexy, the coolest babe I ever met,
a hottie and everything else that's good. I just love you that's all. I
love everything about you. You make me feel so good. I love your kiss and I
love what we did last night, although I wanted more skin on skin, he
he... I love watching you sleep and wake up. I love talking to you. I like
your smile. Man, I'm just nuts about you." He looked helpless as he
finished his speech.

I just smiled and caressed his lips and his cheeks and his chin and his
hair and then I bent down and kissed him on the lips. He closed his eyes
and opened his mouth waiting for my tongue to invade. I moved my body so
that we lie alongside each other and kiss him fully on the mouth, tongue
and all. It was a slow and sensual kiss.

But it was my turn to talk. So I reluctantly pulled my lips from his. I
asked him to sit up and then I lay my head on his lap.

"So, Jake what do you want me to tell you?"

"Tell me when you knew you loved me and why and tell me you'll never leave
me." He looked so serious when he said this.

So I told him. I first saw him that fateful day when he broke the vase. I
fell head over heels in love with him that day. He took my breath away when
he smiled at me. He looked so beautiful that day that I couldn't sleep the
whole night. I told him how I thought I was the one manipulating things so
that we became best friends and that made us laugh for a while. He cried
silently when I told him how my heart ached every time he had expressed his
feelings for me and smiled when I told him how I had to crack my brains to
come up with those funny replies. I told him of my trips to the park to
pull myself together. I told him how I loved his blue eyes, his blond hair,
his pretty face, his nice body, his cute smile and his kissable lips. I
told him how I loved being near him. I told him how I was proud of being
his best friend.

"Don't worry about me leaving you Jake... I would die if you don't love me
anymore... I don't think I can live without you... Now that I know you love
me, I'll never let you go... Never." I told him this after I finished my
talk.

"Eric, I would never stop loving you... You must believe me Eric... I love
you so much..." He replied softly. We were quiet for a minute.

"Please don't ever stop loving me Eric. If you ever do, I'll kill
myself..." He whispered.

I was alarmed to say the least. Then I became angry.

"Jake, don't say that. Don't say that ever again. You don't have to
blackmail me into loving you. I love you. Please get that into your thick
head. Never ever doubt my love for you. Never!" I found myself sitting up
holding his head in my hands. I wanted him to look me in the eyes and see
deep within my soul how I much I loved him. I wanted him to
understand. Really understand. I realized I was holding his head and
pressing hard. So I loosened my hold and tried to calm myself down. He just
looked downwards with tears running down his cheeks.

"Don't ever think like that again Jake... If you die because of me I'll
follow you... If you jump off a bridge I'll jump off that bridge the next
day... I can't live without you... but I can't live with you thinking like
that... I might as well kill myself now than wait for you to decide that I
don't love you anymore..." I was going psycho but I had to get him to
understand that our love must stand on solid ground. Not based on shaky
words of love.

"Dammit, Jake. Look at me. Tell me you love me." He looked up at me.

"I love you Eric..." His voice was steady.

"Give me your heart Jake..."

"I give you my heart..." I could sense some strength in his voice.

"Give me your trust, Jake."

"I give you my trust Eric." I believed him.

"Now listen to me Jake... I love you..." I was trembling with passion, as I
looked him in the eyes. "I give you my heart, and I give you my trust. I
give you my life. I promise that I will never stop loving you..." And then
I kissed him. I wanted to kiss away his fears and mine. I was so scared of
losing him. I wanted him to feel safe. But I knew that all I can do is
trust him...with my heart and my life. I could only hope that he would
learn to trust me. Love was so damn hard. We were just two 17-year-old
teenagers trying to love each other the best way we could. I decided that
the subject of keeping it a secret would be for later. I broke the kiss and
on the bedroom floor next to his bed, we just cuddled up, lying beside each
other, holding each other, just feeling the warm sensual contact between
our young bodies and loving each other without any words being said.

To be continued...

Well, I hope you like this story.  Tell me you like or no like or whatever.
Email me at fyiord@yahoo.com.