Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2005 22:24:50 -0400
From: S N <sum1plezzcall_911@hotmail.com>
Subject: Heavens_Just_A_Sin_Away, Chapter24

Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the love triangle of a
teenage boy. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type
of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then
refrain from reading it. The story consists of lust, passion, teenage
romance, interracial, love and all the rest of the good stuff in that
order... Prepare for sin.

                    Chapter 24: Same Sex and the City
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~

     "Zion?" Byron asked again.

     He looked totally clueless.

     I went on to explain it how Sampson's mother had explained to me.  I
told them how Sampson really had two identical brothers.  I told them how
my confusion surrounding Holden's death was really because Zion had taken
Holden's identity.  Zion watched me as I explained.  In the end he was
smiling.


     "You should apply for a job at the Daily Planet," Zion joked as I
finished revealing so many facts to Byron and T-Boy.

     T-Boy looked around for a moment.  He had this offended look on his
face like someone had just told him something bad.  I didn't expect him to
react like that, but 'oh well' if he did.

     "Wow you own a business?" Byron asked, seeming floored by the fact
just like I once was.

     "Right, I see myself as more of a figure-head of the business," Zion
explained.

     He leaned back a little and struck this pose as though someone was
supposed to bow down and worship him.  I laughed a little because it was
kind of comedic, even though that wasn't what he was probably going for.

     "Um " I said, "By the way, what the fuck are you bothering us for?"

     He was leaning up against the cabinets as though he ran the place.
When I asked the question, he seemed like he was surprised by something.
He stood erect.  He'd never met someone like me.  I knew it by the way he
was looking at me.  He was intrigued.  He hadn't seen anything yet.

     "Relax guy, I just heard Sampson needed a little help."

     I looked at him sideways, "I doubt he told you."

     "You're right," Zion replied and said, "Sampson and I aren't exactly
on speaking terms.  I haven't seen him in years."

     "Then who told you?" Byron asked.

     "It was Ms. Nicole wasn't it?"  I asked.

     "Props to you! You're smart," Zion said and gave me a bright smile,
"Nicole contacted me.  She explained the situation about your female friend
being kidnapped.  I thought I could help."

     I rolled my eyes.  He was talking to me like I was some helpless
little kid.  I had finally got everyone in the house to realize that I held
my own and now this guy was back to trying to make me feel like a
dependent.

     "I don't need no help," I said, bluntly.

     Shit if I found Trash, she would be the one needing help.

     "No," Byron broke in, "We may need some help from Zion."

     I rolled my eyes at Byron knowing he would be the one to say
something.
  He always had "SOMETHING" to say back to me.  He was just one of those
irritating people who you liked to have as a friend, but hated to have
around because you knew he would probably disagree the most.

     "Byron this is grown-up people talk," I lightly insulted and crossed
my arms.

     I knew Byron would be the last person to actually try to defend
Yolanda physically (if it came to that).  He would be too scared to break
his nails or some shit.  Sampson seemed to spoil him everyday like you
would do a girl.  Sampson had that whole protective thing and Byron was the
type to easily become dependent on someone.

     "Why are you acting like such an ass lately?"  Byron asked.

     I swear I would have told him the truth.  I would have told him that I
wanted his boyfriend because obviously Sampson and I would be a better
couple.  Still I thought of Sampson's reaction and kept my mouth shut.

     I was about to curse or something when T-Boy said, "Syn, Byron is
right.  Maybe Zion can help."

     What the hell?  Why was he protecting Zion?

     "Shane's gone now," I said and shook my head at Zion, "You can't
imagine how mentally lost I am.  What can you do?  You are pure fiction if
I've ever seen it. We can find her ourselves."

     I didn't need it, at least not from Zion.

     "You seem harsh," Zion said, seeming defensive.

     "You seem retarded!"  I spat back, "Normally it wouldn't take this
long for someone to realize that they aren't wanted."

     Zion and I exchanged glances.  He wasn't testing me.  I wondered if he
was scared.  I couldn't tell that much.  Shit I knew he was surprised
though.  I would have hit him if he kept trying to tell me "what I was".
He didn't know me.  Shane's death had changed me for the better

     "Listen," Zion said, in a humble tone that was low and deep, "I know
Sampson probably told you some things about me.  Some of them are true but
there are always two parts to a story."

     I turned my back to him, "I don't want to hear yours."

     I pretended to be looking over a couple of envelopes on the table.  I
knew the type that Zion was.  He believed that I was weak.  He looked at me
and saw weakness.  It had little to do with what Sampson told me about him.
I could see that he underestimated me.  I hated that.

     "We should at least listen," Byron stated.

     T-Boy immediately agreed, "Yeah for the sake of Yolanda."

     Since when did T-Boy give a fuck about Yolanda?  It seemed like
everyone was just getting weird. Maybe it was the emotions of Shane being
dead.  I understood that it was a lot for them to handle.  They both just
seemed so weak and open to the idea that Zion could just walk through the
door and save the day.

     "You guys don't even know him," I said, giving them a look of
disbelief, "He looks like Sampson, but that's it.  He isn't Sampson.  We
have no idea what kind of guy he is.  Why would you trust him?"

     "Its not like we got a lot of choice," T-Boy said.

     I knew he was thinking that.  I could look at T-Boy and Byron and saw
how beaten they looked.  It was as if Mercedes had sucked out all the
courage from them when she shot Shane.

     "I just want to help," Zion said, softly from the corner, "I want to
help my brother and I think I can do that by helping you guys out.  I have
connections.  I can help find the missing girl."

     I looked over at him.  He had his hands stuffed in his pockets and his
cockiness was still there, but it was smothered in with this sincerity.  He
looked like he was hoping I'd say yes, but wouldn't be heartbroken if I
didn't say yes.  He looked like Sampson, but I could tell he wasn't
Sampson.  Zion seemed to be real confident and cocky about something and
even though Sampson had pride, it was a different type of pride.

     "Listen," I told Zion softly, "I have no idea who you are.  End of
story."

     My feelings were all rooted down to that.  If I looked past the fact
that he probably was underestimating me and Sampson basically hated Zion,
then it would still boil down to the fact that I didn't know Zion.  I
couldn't trust him.

     He sighed a little and said, "Ok.  I'm sorry to bother you."

     "Yeah ok," I replied folding my arms.

     "Can I leave my contact information?"

     "Sure," T-Boy quickly said before I had a voice in it.  I would have
said something like "No need" or something to make him feel like we had
things under control (even though we really didn't).

     Zion copied his contact information on a piece of paper and I watched
suspiciously.  Who really does that?  I guess in his world after a stranger
got kidnapped, you went to offer help to them because they were friends
with your long lost brother who hates you.  Yeah I guess it made sense in
Zion's head.

     Zion shook Byron and T-Boy's hands, "Its nice to meet you finally
Tommy.  Its also nice to meet you Byron you said that you are in a
relationship with Sampson now?"

     Zion seemed surprised when he asked it.  I almost laughed.  I was
surprised too shit.

     "Yeah," Byron smiled with that social cheesiness he was known for.

     "Wow," Zion said and then turned to me, "And you?"

     "And me what?"

     "Who do you go out with?"

     I gave him a face.  It was a wrinkled ass face.  I think it spoke for
itself because the expression was very loud.  It was like "What the fuck!"
He had no right to be asking me my business like we didn't meet a couple of
minutes ago.  Zion noticed my stare because he smiled a little to sort of
make it seem less offensive.  I was still offended though.  It was the
words, not the way he said it.

     T-Boy answered after my expression spoke to him, "Syn and I are fresh
out of a relationship."

     "Syn?"  Zion asked, "Um as in 'seven deadly sin'?"

     "Yeah you heard it right," I explained, "Um I'll excuse myself if you
don't mind."

     "I'm leaving now anyway," Zion said, probably realizing that I was
excusing myself because I really didn't want to talk to him at the moment.

     He laughed a little with this confident cheek.  It was almost like he
found it funny that I didn't like him.  I didn't understand Zion.  I didn't
understand a thing about him and I wasn't sure if I cared enough to
understand.  I just dusted him off and watched in the corner of my eye as
he left.

     I left myself.  Shit, it wasn't really worth standing around and
thinking about.  Truthfully, I knew that T- Boy and Shane were probably
going to contact him for help.  They probably thought they wouldn't be able
to find Yolanda without Zion.

     I wasn't so against the thought of Zion helping us, but I was against
the point of making me bow down to Zion.  With the whole 'business' thing
that was going on, I was sure that Zion had enough people kissing his ass
as it was.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     It was the day that we were supposed to go see Dr. Lopez.  I didn't
want to go but I figured that they would probably talk a lot of shit about
me if I didn't show up.  Byron was the only one overexcited about it.
T-Boy and Sampson were really on the fences about the whole thing.  They
didn't care either way.  I was the one with the apprehension.  I just
didn't believe Dr. Lopez could help me period.

     "Sampson Byron Tommy Syn sit down please," Dr. Lopez greeted as we
walked in the office.

     I took a seat the farthest away from the rest of them.  I didn't want
to be confused with them at all.  Byron had this wide ass smile like
someone just gave him candy or something.  Sampson seemed more interested
in Byron then anyone else by the way he sat so close and started rubbing
his hands with Byron's hands.  T-Boy was just there.  He seemed really hurt
by Shane's death and he just seemed mentally weaker to me.

     Byron smiled, "Hi Dr. Lopez.  I got them to come over."

     "Good job Byron," Dr. Lopez said as though she was giving praise to a
three-year old boy.

     She probably trained him to be her little puppet.  He had tried to
convince me for the longest to come and now that I was here Dr. Lopez was
trying to act like there wasn't still remaining friction between her and I.

     "We need to hurry up," I said, "I'm hungry."

     Dr. Lopez started to talk.  She was doing her usual, sincere apologies
for Shane's death like she knew anything about Shane (besides what Byron
told her.)

     "Its so sad," Dr. Lopez stated in her long speech, "I think we could
all agree that Shane's life was taking by an act of violence.  Though it
was accidental, we can all see that the harshness of even having a gun on
the scene is clue on homicidal intentions."

     I looked around.  Byron was crying for some unknown reason.  Sampson
was trying to help him relax like a good boyfriend should.  Pathetic. T-Boy
had his head cocked down as though taking a few minutes to respect Shane.

     "Sometimes I feel like I could have done more," Sampson explained,
"The feeling is really hard for me to control."

     "That's why we are here," Dr. Lopez replied in this confident tone,
"We need to realize that you are not at fault for what happened to Shane.
None of you are.  Murder can be such a horrible thing."

     Who did she think she was?  Moses?  Did she think she'd come back to
save her people or something?

     I rolled my eyes, "I hate people who say that "

     Dr. Lopez stared across the room at me with this wondering stare.  I
had struck her attention.  She had been waiting for me to speak.  She had
been waiting for me to disagree.

     "What do you hate?"

     "People who argue that murder is a horrible thing," I said, "They
waste time arguing that it is a bad thing, like anyone said it was a good
thing.  All that time used to argue its ethics could be transferred to time
used to find its solution."

     "Hm I see," Dr. Lopez had this blank look on her face and then started
to write things down in her notepad.

     I hated when she did that.  It was almost like she wanted to disagree
with me, but instead she was just analyzing me without replying.  She just
kept sketching words in her notepad.  I wondered if they were words similar
to "he's crazy" or "keep all sharp objects away from him." Shit maybe I was
crazy now who knew?

     "Maybe we should stay on subject," T-Boy said, probably feeling the
tension, "We were talking about Shane's death "

     "What is there to talk about?" I asked.

     Dr. Lopez was the one who chose to answer, "What are you think about
Shane's death?  How do you feel?"

     Ok

     "I think it's sad he died and I feel sad that he died," I said
bluntly, a little cynicism in my attitude, "Some one died.  Truth is I
wished it was someone else, but we don't always get what we want?"

     I looked over at Sampson as I said that.  He was living proof that we
didn't get what we want.  There he was a sexy prince of princes cuddled up
with a guy who used to be a male escort.  What was wrong with that picture?
I should have been in it instead of Byron.

     Byron raised his head as though he was offended, "Syn, you don't got
to be so cheeky about it?"

     "Cheeky is that what you think I am?"

     Immoral unpleasant weird; I would understand those words.  Of all the
words to describe me, he chose cheeky.  It seemed a little belittling.  It
was almost like he was trying to downplay me.

     "Yeah," Byron answered, looking me in my eyes, "Lately you have been
real harsh.  You just can't say you hate people like that.  I know you
aren't the most sensitive person, but since Shane died "

     "Byron its ok," Dr. Lopez explained, "This is an open forum.  Everyone
has right to say what's on his mind.  Syn, you are free to express yourself
here."

     I shrugged, knowing everyone was expecting me to say something else.
Sampson, T-Boy and Byron stared at me as though expecting me to bring up
all the little issues I had in my head.  I knew they wanted me to, so I
just didn't.  It took away the point of putting in that unexpected value to
it.  Truth is maybe Shane's death did affect me, but it affected T-Boy to.
It made him weak.  It made Sampson meaner.  It made Byron well he was just
a little more Byron-ish.

Now that Shane was gone there was no one left to protect Brunswick from the
likes of Syn.

Now that Shane was dead, he couldn't hold me back from lashing out at them
all.  I would expose all their sins one at a time until they realized that
they were lying in their own hypocritical grave.

Not yet however

"What?  What are you all looking at?" I asked, making them all
uncomfortable.

They all turned around and stopped staring at me.  I demanded attention but
I didn't want it.  I wanted to make them feel guilty, but I didn't deny
that I was guilty as well.  Now that Shane was gone, the entire town was on
the brink of truth.

"Why don't we continue with this theme," Dr. Lopez said, "It seems like the
four of you are really good friends, but there are also some dormant
feelings underneath the friendship.
  Am I right?"

I looked around the room.  These were definitely the three people I had
closest to me now that Yolanda was kidnapped and Shane was dead.  They were
supposed to be my closest friends and yet I felt so uncomfortable around
all of them.  Truth was there was no one left that I felt truly comfortable
with.

Sampson was the one who answered, "I guess Tommy and I have a little bit of
a history of fighting."

"Little?" T-Boy questioned.

"Ok, ok, we have a big history of fighting," Sampson adjusted, "But it
isn't as bad as it was before.  I don't think it is at least."

     T-Boy was quiet at Sampson's remark.  I could tell he wasn't entirely
agreeing with him. Shit, I didn't agree either.  Just the other day they
were arguing about whether we should worry about finding Mercedes or
finding Yolanda, which was stupid because most likely Yolanda was with
Mercedes.

Dr. Lopez continued, "Is that the only conflict in the house at the
moment?"

"Well " T-Boy added to the conversation, "Syn and I broke up lately "

"That isn't conflict," I quickly said trying to shut him up.

I knew he would bring it up.  I just had a feeling that he would bring up
the breakup.  I guess he was still thinking about it.  I didn't really
understand why unless he still had feelings for me.

T-Boy nodded in agreement, "Yeah, but its still a lot of tension.  It's
hard for me to fathom the idea of a complete breakup when we are living in
the same house.  Don't you feel uncomfortable?"

Sampson was staring over at me and so was Byron.  Dr. Lopez was busily
taking notes and I felt like the spotlight had completely changed from
Sampson and T-Boy's beef to T-Boy and my relationship.  What the fuck kind
of tension was he talking about.  I didn't feel any tension.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I replied.

"I still well you know "

"No I don't know, I told you, I have no idea what you are talking about."

T-Boy paused for a moment as though gathering some strength, "I still love
you, Syn."

T-Boy was staring at me and then I stared back, then he stared away.  It
was almost like a dramatic play cut straight out of some sappy love story.
I should have been intrigued.  I should have been moved.  I wasn't.  I was
embarrassed because everyone was waiting for me to reply with something
equally sappy.

"Um ok can we talk about Shane though?" I asked, completely taking him by
surprise, "That is why we came here right?"

"Yeah I guess you're right," He nodded, self-consciously as though feeling
disappointed about the entire situation.  Shane's death had made T-Boy so
sensitive.

Sampson was staring at me.  I could sense a little resentment about the
whole situation.  He didn't seem to be hiding the fact that he was upset
about what T-Boy had said.  His eyebrows lowered a little and he had his
arms crossed.  It wasn't like Byron noticed it.  Byron was watching me too,
with these meddlesome eyes like he was snooping into a house or something.
He wasn't even watching Sampson that was his problem.  He didn't notice
what his boyfriend was doing.  That was why it was so easy for his
boyfriend to get drunk and have a night of passion with me.

"Dr. Lopez, are you going to write the entire time?" I asked, with
irritation, "Or are you going to actually guide the discussion."

Dr. Lopez laughed, "I missed your frankness most, Syn. You are right.
Sampson how have you been d4wliny with the death of Shane."

I guess she asked Sampson because he was sitting there with his innocent
look being forced and manipulated into some kind of angry face.  It was
cute to see Sampson and T-Boy at each other's throats because Sampson
looked cute when he was mad.  He was such an innocent looking person and it
just looked weird in an adorable way.

"I just want to find the one who did it," Sampson explained, "I see a
difference in the way my best friend Syn acts, my brother is acting
different, even my boyfriend is weirder. I just want things to get back to
the way they were.  There's only two ways to do that.  Bring Shane back
from the dead which was impossible or "

"Kill the bitch," I finished, thinking about Mercedes at the moment.

"See what I mean?" Byron panicked, "Syn has always been out there, but this
is the first time I saw him talking about killing someone.  Dr. Lopez "

"Stop whining.  What is she going to do?" I asked him, bluntly, "She
couldn't make me believe I was wrong before so what is the difference now?"

Dr. Lopez paused, "You are right "

I looked at her.  My mouth almost dropped open.  I never thought Dr. Lopez
would actually agree that she couldn't really convince me to change my
mind.  I had that mindset carved into me like the Ten Commandments in
stone.  I was just stubborn.  I couldn't believe that she finally
understood that.

"What?" I asked, completely in awe.

"Syn is right," Dr. Lopez announced to the four of us, "I used to try to
manipulate him because his mind was so intractable.  It became like a game
with Syn.  I tried to sway his beliefs, just to prove that I could.  I
failed."

Suddenly, I didn't feel so horrible towards Dr. Lopez.  She had admitted
that her issue with pride had gotten out of control.  It felt nice to see
her pride just not be there anymore.  She seemed humble as she told all of
us.  Though Byron, T-Boy and Sampson were all lost about what was going on,
I understood Dr. Lopez completely.

"I see," I muttered, hoping to break the wall of protection I had up
against her.

"If you forgive me," Dr. Lopez explained, "I just want to say that you are
lucky.  It may not seem like it, but Byron cares about you or else he
wouldn't be considering your reaction to Shane's death.  It seems like all
of your friends here care for you.  You are a very lucky person Syn."

Ok lucky?  She was going too far with making me feel good.

"Maybe maybe I'll come see you again," I said, "Maybe I'll play something
on the piano."

"I'd like that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~

     That was the story of how I got back to seeing Dr. Lopez.  I didn't
see her as often as I did before, but I did come to visit her
none-the-less.  A week had gone by since Shane had died, but it all seemed
fresh in my head.  I knew his family was still getting ready for the
funeral, which would have been a big one.  I tried to stay away from the
whole planning thing.  I knew it would be a lot like I was leaving all the
work for everyone else, but I was worried about myself at the moment.  I
didn't want to get real emotional about Shane's death anymore.  I just
didn't feel comfortable crying.

     Shane's death had brought Sampson and Byron closer together.  They
still didn't have anal sex, even though Byron made it sure to share the
rest of the information with me over breakfast the next Monday.

     "Well I think we all know the rumors about Sampson's penis size,"
Byron said, giggling a little, "They are very true."

     He was telling T-Boy and I as though we didn't know.  I remembered
that three-some type thing that went down.  Shit it definitely proved that
Sampson's dick was bigger then usual.  It wasn't like monster big, but it
was big enough for anyone to consider it a big dick.

     "Oh boy not this again," T-Boy whined and moaned.

     It seemed like the four of us were some remixed episode of Sex and the
City, where instead of talking about sexual experiences with strange men,
we talked about sexual experiences with one another.

     "You had sex with him?" I asked Byron, a little interested just a
little.

     "No, well I jerked it off," Byron said, "It felt so good.  Only thing
is something happened afterwards that I wanted to talk to you about."

     I wanted to laugh.  This guy used to be an escort, but he still was
horrible in sex.  The escorting seemed to spoil him.  He just sat around
while the guys worked themselves to an orgasm over his refined body.  It
was like Byron never really had to work at sex until now that he was with
Sampson.

     "What is it?"

     Byron thought about it, "Well, I kind of licked the nut off of his 6
pack afterwards..."

     "Uh-Byron, wait one second," T-Boy said.

T-Boy took his bowl of frosted flakes and the entire gallon of milk in his
hands.  I watched T-Boy as he left, probably to a place where he couldn't
hear the conversation that we were having.  I looked at Byron with an angry
look that he didn't get at first.  I was pissed.

"Syn you think that was too much?" Byron asked.

"Um, did you swallow?"

"Yeah."

"How did he react to you afterwards?"

"Well " Byron thought for a moment before answering, "I tried to kiss him,
but he sort of pulled away and left the room saying he had to use the
bathroom.  I thought it was to use the toilet, but he ended up taking a
really long shower."

"That's not a good thing," I concluded.

"Serious?"

"Yeah, a shower means he felt dirty," I thought about it, "Think about
Sampson.  He's not really the freaky type.  He's sort of the plain and
simple.  It doesn't take all that swallowing-action to make him satisfied."

"Hopefully, he forgives me," Byron said, "I really I really love Sampson.
You know, kind of like T-Boy and you used to be."

Hopefully Sampson leaves you and comes to me, I thought. I gave him a
sideways look.  Byron was in love again.  He was either the biggest flirt
or the biggest fool.  I thought about it for a moment.  He was definitely
the biggest fool.

"Um Byron, I hate to break it to you, but Sampson probably isn't thinking
about love now."

"How do you know?"

"Well, Sampson, as far as I know, never went out with someone for more then
little over a month," I recognized, "I am not saying he's a player but he
seems to change a lot quicker then the rest of us."

He definitely did.  First he was with Mercedes, then he was with Yolanda
and now he was with Byron.  He ended up being in three relationships in
four months.

Sampson wasn't a player type. He just seemed like the type of guy that
wanted something new all the time.  I guess he sort of went with the best
thing out there most of the time.  I didn't mind it at all, shit.  I was
just watching to see if Sampson would make some kind of record for dating
the best looking people in the shortest time.

"I can change all that," Sampson said, a little cockily.

"Oh really?" I replied smiling, "I guess we'll soon see because you guys
just had your month's anniversary.  If you last another month, then we'll
know that you are right."

Byron was cute, but Sampson was cuter.  I didn't know if it would last that
much longer.  Sampson definitely was a secret kind of charmer.  He was the
type that would see you and pull you away to private areas then whisper
sweet nothings into your ear.

Byron accepted my challenge bluntly, while T-Boy came in the room to tell
me that we were ready for school.  I didn't want to go to school.
Truthfully, I just wanted to stay home today and watch Montell or something
on television.  Well not Montell probably Maury or something.  Montell was
too dramatic.  There was always someone surviving a life or death situation
or someone who is living by some kind of miracle.  Maury was more familiar
to me.  It was all about paternity tests and who didn't like a good
paternity test?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Big Rob had come to my table at lunchtime.  I was sitting alone.  It
was by choice.  I could have sat with numerous nobodies if I wanted to.  I
could have said with the popular nobodies (T-Boy, Medusa, etc) or I could
have sat with the unpopular nobodies (Lamont ha I don't know the rest of
their names).  I chose not to. I chose to sit by my own and just have
everyone realize that they could never take Shane's place

     "Hey," Big Rob explained, "You mad at T-Boy?"

     "No," I said, confused, "Why would I be mad at T-Boy?"

     I didn't get it.  T-Boy had been acting strangely.  On the drive to
school, he had stopped way out of his schedule to by me something to eat
from my favorite fast food place.  That was unlike T-Boy.  He was usually
too lazy to do anything more then expected from him.

     "He said that yesterday you seemed mad at him.  Then today, you didn't
sit with him.  I mean if that was the case, I would think you are upset
with me as well."

     I looked behind Byron across at the other T-Boy who was lightly
chilling with his arms crossed.  He was trying to act like he wasn't
looking over here and trying to see what was going on, but I could tell.
He was snooping from across the lunchroom.  He was probably trying to read
facial expressions.

     "He sent you, didn't he?"

     "Um "

     Big Rob paused before saying anything.  What kind of playground shit
was T-Boy on?  I mean, since when do you get your friend to ask someone if
they are mad at you or not.  I was just in a bad mood and didn't feel like
speaking to anyone.  If I were mad at him, I would just be sitting with
someone else.  I wouldn't be sitting alone.

     "I thought you didn't like fags or something?"  I asked, trying to
remember exactly what he had said.

     "I don't," Big Rob laughed, "It just sucks that you got that cat like
that."

     Like what?  I looked over at T-Boy.  He did kind of seem a little like
he was worried about something or he had something on his mind weighing him
down.  I didn't do anything to cause it though.  I was pretty sure about
that.

     The bell rang at the time and I was happy because people would
probably start thinking that I was starting to get back on talking terms
with the popular kids since I was with Big Rob.
  I didn't want to make that happen because I had worked hard to earn my
own identity apart from the popular kids.  I was now officially the popular
boy that didn't hang out with the popular kids.

     I walked through the halls taking my time to get to class. Shit, I
definitely wasn't in a rush.  T-Boy and his friends were ahead.  T-Boy was
looking back.  I knew he wanted to come talk to me, but he was hesitating
probably believing I was really mad at him.  T-Boy definitely changed.  He
really never used to be the shy, hesitant type.

     "Hey," a voice said from behind.

     I turned around to see Lamont.  He looked completely different.  I
didn't realize it either.  He looked as though he was trying his best to
dress nice.  It wasn't exactly working though.

     "Um what happened to you?"

     He looked funny.  He had his hair grown a little bit and someone had
trimmed around the sides.  He had on this ugly gray shirt that wouldn't
have been so ugly if they matched his pants.  Lamont was really sticking
out in these reddish, brown-tinted pants.  The whole entire thing looked
like an attempt to change from his boring white shirt, blue pants style
that had gone completely wrong.

     "You like it?" Lamont asked, looking up and down at his outfit.

     I had to be honest, "Not really nice try though."

     Lamont was going to say something else but then all of a sudden I
noticed T-Boy was in my face.  I had almost bumped into him by the sudden
way he just appeared closer.  It was like he bolted over to me.

     "Syn, can I talk to you alone?"

     He gave Lamont a stare like that told him to go away.  I knew everyone
in the school still wondered why I hung out with a guy like Lamont.  I
think even Lamont wondered.  I guess it was just his face.  It was warm or
something.  I don't know.  He just needed a little more confidence and
self-esteem.

     Lamont was looking uncomfortable by T-Boy's stares.  I could tell he
really didn't want to be around if T- Boy was around anyway.  He was scared
of T-Boy.  Not physically scared, but scared T-Boy would humiliate him.

     "Lamont, why don't we go shopping this weekend," I said, trying to
make him feel less bad, "You cool with that?"

     "Sure I'll um ask my mom for money," he explained.

     Lamont was grinning widely, almost like I had made his day.  It didn't
take a lot to make Lamont happy.  He just seemed like he never was really
exposed to a lot.  It was sad to me.

     "Syn, can I talk to you?" T-Boy repeated.

     I had almost forgot he was standing there.

     "Lamont, I'll talk to you later ok," I excused him and then turned to
T-Boy, "What is it?"

     T-Boy waited till Lamont left before he spoke, "You know what it is!
You haven't even said anything about what I told you yesterday.  Have you
even been thinking about it?"

     "Um you mean when you said you still loved me," I said and then
lowered my voice because of the passers, "You mean that?"

     "Yeah.  I want to talk about it."

     "T-Boy, this isn't exactly the time.  I mean, Shane is dead and his
killer is on the loose.  My cousin has gone missing.  You have your
priorities mixed up."

     He looked at me a little trampled by my words.  The sadness quickly
turned into a look of anger though that wasn't just weird, but extremely
spontaneous.

     "Whatever, I don't even give a fuck."

     He turned his back on me and went back to the hall, probably catching
up to his friends or something.  If he didn't give a fuck then why did he
talk to me about it?  I wasn't even going to waste my time trying to figure
out the shit he was doing lately.  Since Shane died, it was like T-Boy
wanted to be with me even more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~//

     On the school lunch hour, Byron surprised me by picking me up and
saying we should all go have some lunch at his favorite diner.  T-Boy and
Sampson were already in the car.  Byron was always trying to keep some kind
of peace in the group.  I guess for a while he was being successful.

     The diner was this preppy rich people type.  It looked real
gregarious, since it had a window as a wall.  I didn't like it.  People on
the sidewalk were passing by and watching us eat, like we were on some kind
of display.  I didn't get it.  Was it a way of advertising the diner or
something?  It wasn't like when we peered out the glass there was a nice
scene.  It was a busy downtown street with high buildings, ignorant people
and annoying vehicles.

     "T-Boy how was your day?" Byron asked.

     I knew that him bringing us here was probably Dr. Lopez's idea.  She
probably told him to do it so that he could help us get along.

     T-Boy peered over at me, "It was shot."

     "Mine too," Sampson followed up, putting his napkin on the table, "The
teacher is forcing us to take a trip to those nasty backwoods tomorrow."

     I ignored T-boy's remark but remarked to Sampson's, "What's wrong with
that?"

     They all looked at me with that same look.  I had gotten used to it.
It was one of those; "Syn's about to say something crazy" looks.  They were
damn right too.

     "Its just fake to me," Sampson said a little lowly, "I don't see why
we have to go to the woods to learn about them.  They have the same things
in a textbook or something."

     I raised my eyebrows, "That's bullshit Sampson!  I never knew you
thought like that."

     "Syn, don't talk to him like that," Byron warned, as though he would
do something to me if I did.

     "Shut up," I told him, getting off the table and looking down at them,
"You are all fucking assholes.  You got T-Boy worried about how he is going
to get his boyfriend back while Sampson is worried about going to the
woods.  Shane just died!  Am I the only one in mourning?"

     Sampson looked a little humiliated, "Syn "

     "No fuck that!" I shouted, "Haven't you learned anything from Shane's
death?  You hate going to the woods.  Is it really that bad!  You act like
this shit stain of a city is any more REAL then the beautifully toned dirt
in the woods."

     T-Boy said something, trying to calm me down.  Sampson I think was
trying to apologize.  I didn't know though.  I was just so mad that I got
up and left the diner.  I didn't look back so I didn't know if anyone had
come after me or tried to stop me.

     If they did try to stop me then they didn't get me.  Before I had
calmed down, I was walking home.  I knew it was just lunchtime at school
and I had a couple more hours during the day, but I didn't give a fuck.  I
didn't feel like being in school and around more people from Brunswick with
their little distorted views of things.

~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     As I walked home, I began to realize that I was alone in the world.
With Shane gone, there was no one really left.  T-Boy, Sampson shit even
Lamont all belonged to Brunswick.  It was like there was a struggle war
between Brunswick and me for the definition of reality.  It was what
everyone else believed and then it was what Syn believed.

     Everyday people swore this city was some kind of paradise.  I wondered
if they thought heaven came with a cappuccino maker and a window-walled
diner.  That was their heaven.  That was what they believed was reality.
They were so swallowed in their own lies that no one loved the truth.  They
swore they were all unique, but really they were all identically the same.

     Children were raised to be just like the parents.  Parents were raised
to be just like everyone else.  Where had this routine gone wrong in me?
Why was I so different?  I realized that I was probably even an outcast
from the gay community?  How could I be an outcast of the outcasts?

     "Is anyone home?"

     I had turned the corner and was making my way to the porch when I
realized that Sampson was there no, not Sampson.

     "Zion?" I asked, watching the boy knock at the door, "What are you
doing?"

     He turned around.  He was dressed in a suit.  There was a woman at his
side.  She was really tall.  She was over 6 feet.  She must have been some
kind of model because she had that look on her.  She had these square
rimmed glasses and her facial expression looked like someone had just
pissed her off.  She looked way too serious.

     "Oh," Zion said, surprised as I came from behind but smiling,
none-the-less, "I was actually looking for you and your roommates."

     "Well, this is a bad time," I explained, "Byron would usually be the
only one home now, but he's gone too."

     "Well then its good I found you," Zion said, still smiling, "Can you
come with me?"

     "Where?"

     "Uh, it is sort of a surprise.  You won't regret it though."

     "Sorry, I'm busy, I was going to get something to eat," I said
quickly.

     It was an excuse. I had just eaten at the diner.  Still, I could never
get enough food.

     "I'll get you something, when we get there," Zion said.

     My head thought hard, "I have to work soon."

     "I'll have you back before then."

     I shrugged, "Listen, I just don't want to go because I really don't
like you."

     Zion stood there for a while, probably a little surprised.  The woman
beside him grunted as though seeing me in a bad light.  Truth was I could
care less if he was surprised and she was offended.  Though Shane's death
didn't teach the others anything, it taught me something. That something
was that everyone in this city was shit and it really didn't matter what I
said.  I probably thought that before, but now that thought was just
renewed.

     "Listen," Zion explained, with a little pleading tone, "You don't know
me.  I don't know you.  We both understand that.  Trust me though, this is
important.  I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't."

     I gave him a look.  Shit.  He definitely was a suspicious person.  He
seemed nice, but there was this undertone of suspicion.  Sampson gave me a
similar feeling.  He looked innocent, but he could get really angry and
aggressive.  Zion looked innocent too (they were twins), but he just seemed
like the sneaky type underneath.

     "I still don't like you," I noted and then shrugged, "But I'll go I
guess."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~///~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     The woman that Zion had with him, I found out was his personal
assistant.  Her name was Ms. Whyte.  She acted the exact same way that she
looked.  As we drove in the limousine that Zion rode in, she was on the
phone making calls the entire time.  It was almost like she was business
all the time.  I didn't like someone to usually be so serious, but since
she was overwhelmed with work, she didn't have a chance to get on my
nerves.  Zion however, seemed to be workless and so had a lot of time to
make up for it.

     "So you are gay?"

     "You asked that already and I said yes," I explained.

     He had been asking me a thousand questions.  I felt like some reporter
or something was interviewing me.  I had thought about saying the words,
"Shut the fuck up."  I would have said them too but I figured if he kicked
me out, I was too far to walk home.  I just put on a shit face and let him
know I really wasn't interested in this shit.

     "My mom hates gay people," Zion said, like I cared, "You know that she
put my brothers up for adoption just because they were gay?"

     "Sampson is bisexual, but yeah I heard," I answered, still annoyed at
the situation.

     I began to wonder exactly why I came.  I didn't feel like Zion was
going to lead me in the woods and kill me.  He didn't have any motive to do
that.  I was just worried that he would be wasting my time with something.
The ride was kind of long too.  I wasn't really worried about work.  Hell,
I was trying to get fired anyway.  I hated that job and if she fired me,
then I could probably be applicable for unemployment.

     "I don't hate Sampson," Zion interestingly said, "I really didn't hate
Holden either.  I don't hate gay people.  I guess it just made me look like
the bad guy that my mother kept me."

     "Is that why you are being all nice to Sampson's friends?"

     "Yeah," Zion answered, not thinking it as offensive, "I'm not that
bad.
  I mean, Sampson thinks it.  He probably made you think it by now, but I'm
really not if you get to know me.
  No one really knows me though."

     "All I know is that you are a pretender " I started, not wanting to
blow up his spot completely in front of Ms. Whyte, even though she wasn't
paying attention.

     Zion looked down.  He looked a little sad.  I grunted.  It was weird.
This kid had put himself in the position where he was taking the place of
his real brother, Holden as a millionaire, but he still found something to
be sad about. Human nature was full of desires.  If you got a lot, you just
seemed to want more.

     "You can say it she knows," Zion explained, "A lot of people in the
Syndicate know I'm not Holden.  Shit, ask them if they really care.  Just
as long as I can pretend to be Holden, then they don't give a fuck."

     "Why would you pretend though?"

     Zion turned his head, "You don't know my mother.  She was demanding.
She wanted to raise the three perfect sons.  None of us were perfect
though, but me I was an actor."

     "I see that," I said looking around at the limousine.  He definitely
had to be a damn good actor to get all of this.

     "That is all I am.  That is all the Syndicate is," Zion explained, "We
are just one big act."

     I looked at Ms. Whyte.  She wasn't paying attention, but I guess if
she heard even a little of what Zion was saying, it didn't bother her.  I
looked at the crystal glasses at the mini-bar.  I felt the smooth firmness
of the leather seats.  Zion was living the life that most people (the
materialistic people that is) dreamed of.

     "Did you act like you were straight?" I questioned, "I mean so your
mother wouldn't put you up for adoption too?"

     He looked at me and laughed.  I just got the whole gay vibe from him.
It was probably because Sampson seemed so straight to me, but I was fooled.

     "I don't know," he answered and then laughed again, "I seriously have
acted so much that I really don't know what I am anymore.  Want to help me
find out?"

     "I'll pass."

     I knew he was just joking with the flirt, but just in case he was
serious, I backed down.  I scooted over leaving enough room between us on
the chair.  He laughed a little harder. I still hardly knew the guy and
definitely didn't trust him since he admitted to me he was a complete
actor.

     "Listen, I'm only telling you this, because I know you aren't the type
to go telling other people," Zion explained, "Especially not Sampson."

     "You don't know me, I just might tell."

     He laughed again, "You are funny."

     "If you think so " I said a little confused that he thought that I was
joking.  I was dead serious.

     We got out of the car with these guys holding up umbrellas for us
since it started raining.  We were downtown once again.  It was deeper
downtown though.  We were standing in front of this tall corporate building
that looked like something out of a Manhattan brochure.

     I got out from under the umbrellas.  I was a grown ass man.  I didn't
need anyone to hold an umbrella up for me.  Zion seemed to see that I was
uncomfortable with them and he sent the guys away.  It wasn't raining that
hard anyway.  The fact that they had come outside to waste their time just
for us to walk from the car to the building was crazy.  The car was parked
right outside the front of the building.  It was just a couple of steps to
get in.

     Zion took me inside the building and led me in the elevator.

     A lot of people were there.  They all looked so serious and so busy,
just like Ms. Whyte.  Ms. Whyte herself had moved from her cellphone to her
sidekick.  She was punching in all kinds of things on the little sidekick.
It looked like she was busy 24-7.

     "By the way does Sampson like you?"

     Zion had asked the question as we made our way down to the basement of
the building in the elevator.  It was a weird question to ask.  Shit.  I
had been wondering the same thing lately.

     "He used to," I answered, "Not anymore though.  He goes out with that
Byron cat."

     "Weird, I thought he liked you.  You look better then Byron to me "

     Wow.  That was weird.  I guess naturally, I was a better looker then
Byron, but Byron was a lot neater.  He was so immaculate.  He took a shower
3 times a day.  He polished himself to a point that he tried to look
perfect 24-7.  I figured most people would think he was a better-looking
guy then I was.  Shit, why else would Sampson be going out with him?

     "That's why he would be with me?" I asked, cause it didn't seem so
convincing.

     "Oh," Zion said, "You also remind me of our father.  He was so real.
I figured since we all loved our father so much that Sampson would be a
little more attracted to you."

     "Your father?"

     "He was killed after insulting this drunk one time.  You are just like
my father though.  I really thought Sampson would really be interested in
you."

     I guess that was a compliment.  In Zion's world, it was a compliment
at least.  I didn't get it.  It was kind of discouraging to me.  I didn't
want to think that the reason that Sampson was attracted to me was because
I reminded him of his dead father.  It was just kind of too Oedipus Complex
for me.  Zion seemed think it was a compliment though because he gave me a
weird smile.  Was he saying I would be killed after insulting someone?

     The ride down ended when we came to the basement floor.  It was a tall
building that was 30 stories tall.  I didn't like the idea of being in the
basement. I just kept thinking about September 11th with the buildings
falling.

     "Why we here?" I asked Zion.

     "It's a surprise," he answered, a little seriously.

     We walked past these guys who looked even more serious then the guys
who were in the lobby.  They were all dressed in suits and all had an
expression that made me think they had a bad childhood.

     There were more and more men as we made our way to the back.  The
walls got narrower and the doors got fewer.  Finally we had made our way to
the last door, where there were two guards standing.  It was one of those
sliding doors like they had in Star Trek.  I laughed when I saw it slide
and Zion lead me through because the door said, "Welcome Holden McKnight."
What the hell kind of futuristic government agency-type shit was going on
here?

     "The Syndicate participates in some fugitive programs," Zion explained
and then said, "This is where we hold the prisoners."

     Suddenly my smile was wiped off.  The room seemed like a jailhouse
type place.  There were cages full of people.  For a moment I was
speechless but then all of a sudden I felt someone jump into me and grip me
hard with this tight hug.

     I turned to see Yolanda.

     "Syn! I missed you!" she screamed.

     I couldn't believe it.  Yolanda was not only in one piece, but she was
happy!  She wasn't dressed like she was auditioning for Amistad anymore.
She was dressed in these bright colors just like she used to do before. She
had these bubbly eyes.  She had gone back to her usual self.

     "Wow " I said, completely surprised, then something else caught my
eye, "Is that "

     It was her, no, I mean, it was them.  Mercedes was sitting in a cage
along with her brothers.  I couldn't believe it.  They just stared up at
me.  They were there.  I didn't know what to say.

      I was speechless.